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kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

K-Y Intense arousal jelly for her? Posted: 3/3/2013 10:32:28 AM
I've tried the hi and hers before as someone elae mentioned. I like the cooling effect of the "hers". Its neat tho when they "come together". Then you feel a little of both. The lube doesnt make soso sex turn awesome. You cant count on that. Lots of things make my orgasms increidible, but the lube is a fun novelty and sure, makes for an interesting fun time. Think of it as a sex toy. Toys are fun but they dont create chemistry...you either got it or you dont, i figure!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Relationship sex vs spontaneous sex Posted: 1/29/2013 4:36:42 PM
Yes? No? Lol i've had both. For me, specifically, i'd say the best is a really awesome sex partner who i click with from the first time - whether the first time be someone i am on a date with or on a more casual thing with. And if we click from the first time, then it will just get better and better as we explore and play have fun. My very best partner ever i have been with off and on over 4 years. Why? Because whenever it did get a little stale, we changied things up. And if it is really bad the first time, well, there probably wont be a second time. But, to generalize outside of myself, i think overall women tend to like variety with one partner whereas men like the newness of new partners. We both like variety, just in different ways. Obviously not everyone is that way... but it has been mentioned in research i've randomly come across before and it fits in with the "men are more visual" thing. Oh and...not all men feel free and spontaneous their first time w a chick. Some are nervous and cant get really hard or they cum too fast or cant cum at all... so you know, those guys are not gonna be at their best the first time. Lol I guess my answer is "it depends" lol

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

recent decision to try a spell of celibacy... thoughts? advice? Posted: 1/19/2013 12:28:11 PM
Sorry...cell phone issue. I just think you are a normal woman with a norml sex drive. Embrace that woman. Date and be happy and just tell them you have a low drive. And live happily ever after, having sex once a month. Itls all good! K

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

recent decision to try a spell of celibacy... thoughts? advice? Posted: 1/19/2013 12:25:40 PM
OPie, i have some thoughts on this. You do not come off as a very sexual being. So one nightstnds? Fvck buds? Fwbs? What would b the piint? Why bother? I would do a few things if i were you, not all right now, not til you are redy, and not in any order. 1. I would ponder if i were happy not being sexual and not having much of a libido. I love sex. It is a healthy and a good outlet for stress. I would not be happy not having a libido. Yes i went thru tht for 12 years of marriage. If you are cool with it, then no worries. If you are not? Then go see your doctor, watch porn, something. Figure out, are u just not getting aroused? Are u not into men? Mybe u like kinky stuff that u have never seen before? Lol who knows. 2. I would not date. I would have guy friends, tke time to get over the old ones. Dont be on a dating site peripd. And then, figure out what u want in a boyfriend. What kind of man? Marriage? Friendship? Dominant? Suubmissive? Once u know wht you want, add in sexual preference... if u want to stay with low libido, put it in your profile, so that men wont go out withyou wanting that. My ex is and was very asexual. That would work for you. But...definitely figure out if you are craving a friend or a boyfriend. To me, sex is one if the things that separate the 2. If i am not seually attracted, i would not date the dude. I would howeer be his best bud and we'd have a ball hanging out. Dont know if this helps or not. Phone doesnt like me typing...lol so its distracting me and it keeps messing up. Abstinence to me is abstaining until some threshold is reached, like say marriage. Celibacy to me is a conscious decision to not allow the pleasures of sexual intercourse. Its not giving yourself something you creave. Wo But for you, you are a normaloman who happens to have a low sex drive. Embrace who you are. Dont cc

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Talking and asking questions during sex!!! Posted: 1/2/2013 4:51:08 PM
Ay yiy yi...either sex talk turns her on or her previous partner wanted her to sex talk. No she doesn't want answers... it's just sex talk... Some people like it, some don't. The smothering your face would bother me more. If you like her, TALK TO HER about it... If you don't, then no worries, move on... This ain't rocket science, folks!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Advice on this situation please? Posted: 12/30/2012 6:45:18 PM
I dont know what to tell you to do, but think of this: obviously there has been a lot more going on in his head this whole time than you thought. His most recent actions show that he sees you sexually and is turned on by you. So go back and read what you said in those 2 posts, but this time reading it knowing that he wants you sexually. In othwr words, now you know that he has wanted you all along. So reread his former actions with this in mind. Then make your decision about the future knowing that (1) yes, he wants you sexually (2) hes not comfortablle being oopen about it or expressing it. Personally i'd be heartened knowing that he does desire me but frustrated knowing he doesnt want anyone (including me) knowing. You dont work together anymore? Then what is he waiting for?? Me? I'd say wtf is going on? You are old enough to do right by me. Either date me or be my friend, or lets fvck as friends. But lets have it out once and for all and make a decision and stand by it. But thats me. Im older than you I'm guessing and pretty blunt.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Looked down upon because I rent/have a guy roommate??? Posted: 12/18/2012 3:44:22 PM
In this day and age and economy and unusual family make-ups, having housemates is not uncommon. I live in a college town and a LOT of people share houses. I got my first housemate about 4 years ago when I got laid off.It was a good financial move for me. I have 2 kids. ANd it also turned out that I liked the company and the occasional help with the kids. If a man wouldn't date me b/c I had a roommate, male or female, screw 'em. I don't have time for intolerance. I have actually read articles on the increasing prevalence of house sharing / housemates...so it's not just me. ALso, last year I was strongly considering housesharing with a galfriend and her 2 kids. I figured we could raise our kids together in some sort of supportive environment where we help each other. She ended up moving to Florida so we didn't. Now my housemate is a female a bit older than me and she has her own private area downstairs and we share the kitchen/bath. It's great, we support each other, good company, laugh about men and dating, etc. All I"m saying is, your gf is way off base. She is certainly entitled to her opinion an dif you agree with her, great. But if you dont', that's ok, don't feel bad. Don't feel pressured or shamed to change just for her. I agree with gcdeb ^^^ btw. Once you fulfill these demands, what next?

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 183 (view)

How to make a guy cum from a b/j Posted: 11/16/2012 2:21:54 PM
That's weird, I can't talk when I have a penis in my mouth. ;)

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 171 (view)

Showering together.....is it intimate? Posted: 11/15/2012 5:45:00 PM
I find it very intimate. For sure. A guy I had a very casual sex relationship with started acting more "mushy", kissy, etc. That was weird enough. But then he wanted to shower together one night. So I did...and it felt weird, honestly. Such an intimate act and I was not used to being intimate with him. Don't get me wrong, I felt that way for him, but I was not used to expressing it. I just couldn't quite open that valve and let it free, does that make sense? So, yes I gotta say it is much more intimate than sexual or just sexual.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Woman doesn't like penis's and semen, would you date her? Posted: 10/28/2012 9:01:22 AM
She sounds like she would make an excellent.... FRIEND. Seriously... Great woman, doesn't like penises. You have a penis. So enjoy her great friendship and date a woman who likes your penis. To me this is a no-brainer. And if you really want a deeper discussion on it, think on this, why would you date someone who rejected the symbol of your sexuality, why would you date someone who was grossed out by your body? All this can lead to is you feeling like crap and rejected. In the long run, going to damage your "self", your esteem, your ego. Don't walk down that road for nothing! (and yes I know a woman who did that to her husband) This goes way beyond condom wearing...

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

frequent sex in a LTR over the duration? Posted: 10/15/2012 8:51:33 AM
I have not had a lot of experience with frequent sex in a LTR. My longest LTR was my marriage and the sex sucked and was rare. But my next longest LTR was a more casual on and off thing, but there was a lot of "on" time in that thing and I noticed something that I have since heard from othe women. After awhile, I would get bored, he would not. Apparently, it seems that it is somewhat more common for women to need variety, change, innovation, etc. to keep from getting bored, than it is for men. So if you want to keep it strong and frequent and hot, keep the fun, keep the new, keep the experimenting. Not every day, but don't do the same t hing everyday either. I remember my ex was so boring, sex was exactly the same every single time. I mean, every part. Kiss kiss fondle fondle finger fvck. Same positions too. bor-ing! The casual thing guy, I'd say "you know, seems like we always do it on the sofa..." So whaddya know, that night we'd do it in the kitchen. Or outside. Or off the side of the road in the afternoon behind some bushes. LOL We were so compatible and so up for anything, that either of us could toss in an idea and we'd have fun trying it out. And we'd do fun things that were sexual but not "during" sex...like meeting up at a bar for drinks and flirting and he'd tell me to wear a skirt w/no panties. That kind of stuff. I found with him, since he was so OPEN to trying things that I felt more open, more free, more sexual. I really came out of my shell (as most of you who have been here forever probably know). Anyway, talkign to other women,r eading things, I have found that this is a common theme in men and women who are together for a long time...a lot of women need that freshness to stay horny and to want to have hot sex frequently over years. If you are not providing that, or showing that you are open to it and inviting her to suggest it as well...she very well might get bored and not want it as often. Steak is awesome, but having it for dinner 7 nights a week gets old no matter how well it's cooked!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Balls during bjs Posted: 9/26/2012 6:16:36 PM
^^Hahaha...what if she likes biting on your ballsack until you bleed? Would that really be ok? By the time she spoke up you'd be a bloody mess! What if she likes giving bjs using lots of teeth? I think that you want her to do what she wants...within limits. Well, I don't have testicles, but I do have lots of tv shows w/jokes about how sensitive that area is. So I don't know the limits. I think for me, I enjoy sex when I feel knowledgeable about that part of a guy's body. The first time I saw a guy's penis, I was intimidated...very (I was late teens). I got a little bit older, and then I was curious to look at it, touch it, etc... And then slowly over time I got more comfortable as I figured out how them there thangs worked! LOL So now, sure, when I am giving a bj, it is a combo of what I like and what he likes...it's for both of us, after all...but...again, within the limits of "not a turn off" for him. But I need to be knowledgeable before I am comfortable doing "whatever I want"! And...yeah I guess it would be surprising that my knowledge is weak in this area, but I guess the guys I've dated since I became single again were just not into their balls being played with a whole lot! Plus I was married for SO long that I really haven't been single all that long. Not even 5 years yet! Gotta leave something left to discover as I get older!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Balls during bjs Posted: 9/25/2012 7:08:30 PM
Wow, there really is just a total range from Eek! Leave them alone! to Love them babies all night long! LOL And from "Don't ask!" to "You better ask!". LOL Sigh I was hoping there would be some consensus on this topic. Silly me! Apparently balls are just as variable as nipples, oral sex, etc. Which does mean one thing - if ya'll are all totally different, then you probably don't expect women to read your mind and know what you like. So that's good to know, right? This was my favorite comment though: that's why I keep my balls shaved. That should be hint enough I like them played and sucked on. I bet that is a pretty good sign! Kaylie

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 240 (view)

Why DO men send unsolicited pics of their penis? Posted: 9/20/2012 7:26:45 PM
I once dated a guy who took dikpics w/his c0ck next to a soda can. LOL And it was very much on purpose too. Like, he thought that made it look really big or fat or something, I dunno. I'm gonna go fill up some water balloons now...and take some titty shots w/water balloons next to the sides of my titties... bahahahahaha...yeah ok! Somehow, I just think there are gender differences at play here that make it hard for us females to really understand what you guys go through with your self-esteem and your c0cks...or something, I dunno. I don't really care one way or the other about dikpics, myself. I do love penises...but pictures of them? Eh, kinda pointless reallly. I mean, what would you prefer? A banana split, or a picture of a banana split? Hmmmm...I want the real deal! Yummmmy! But whatever floats yur boat...

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Balls during bjs Posted: 9/20/2012 7:04:22 PM
Ok, I am trying to figure out the skinny on men and their balls during a bj. I know you aren't all the same, some like more than others. But still... Ok, for one, I have read stories where women mention "tugging down" on his ballsac right before or right when he has an orgasm. I have never in my life done this and I wouldn't know what the hell to tug on or when or how hard. Nor has a guy ever asked me too! So...what's the deal, is this something guys like? Need? Want? how do I do it? And like, what, do we flick our tongues on the sac, suck the balls into our mouth? What about just sucking the skin of the sac...can you feel that or does it have to involve actual testicles? Oh, how about licking...are your balls sensitive enough to feel that? I know, stupid obvious questions to you...but I guess I've kinda neglected balls during bjs b/c I didn't think guys cared or liked it much. Well, one guy ok, he really liked his balls sucked on but that was a long time ago. (In my defense I give excellent bjs so it's not like they havent gotten off) And I guess to balance the question out, women, have you hit on any things that your guys have gone nutso over...lol pun intended... Kaylie

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Splitting household items when breaking up Posted: 9/19/2012 2:14:19 PM
Didn't fight over it, but I thought it was really funny that he wanted to keep our wedding album. Like, really? I sure as hell didn't want it! We did and are still fighting over a rocking chair that we bought at an auction. I am the only one who ever sat in the damn* thing and I nursed and rocked both babies in it...and I'm the one who wanted to bid on it at the auction. I want it, dammit! He is fighting me on it. Will I give in? No clue...we'll see...

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

Break ups Posted: 9/19/2012 2:12:21 PM
I think, from your posts, you are open to advice and to change. That's great! THumbs up for that! So, my advice is to give her space and time and don't daydream about the what-ifs or gettin gback together. take this time to work on yourself. Fix you. Then, when you feel like you are "fixed" to the point where you have self-control and have learned and practiced other methods of dealing with conflict, to where you take responsibility for waht you are doing wrong in an argument, and can openly address the other persons concerns w/out it escalating, etc... THAT is the point that you approach her with hope and love in your eyes and ask her for a chance to try again. And if she has moved on, or if she says no, you accept it and you move on. Because, yup, you screwed up and unfortunately there are consequences to bad behavior. We don't know if ther eis a chance for you guys or not. How could we know? And will you ever take all the steps you need to deal w/anger and conflict or will you only work on yourself while she is still talking to you? We don't know. All I can tell you is yeah, it sucks. All of us screw up at one time or another and we have to take responsibility for what we did wrong and we have to fix what is wrong. (it isn't good enough to just take responsibility). part of that is accepting that we may have lost something very special b/c of our behavior...and letting the other person go. THere are no do-overs. There can be starting over. Sometimes. I suggest you hit a used book store or amazon and get "WHen I say No, I feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith. I realize the title doesn't sound helpful. Well, the book is mostly about dealing with conflict. How to respond when someone is angry with you. here is a link to it on amazon. http://www.amazon.com/When-Say-No-Feel-Guilty/dp/0553263900/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348088633&sr=1-1&keywords=when+i+say+no+i+feel+guilty I briefly tried marriage counseling w/my ex and the counselor suggested the book. It is excellent. And you can buy it for a penny plus shipping on amazon. It is a very old book, but it teaches you how to respond then gives you "conversations" to read to see how it plays out. And then encourages you to practice what you learned... because you have to really work hard on learning new habits and undoing the old ones. I have worked hard on applying the principles of this book and I can't say that I"m great at it, but I do know that it has really helped me. I had to undo the bad habits I learned as a teenager (scream at daddy and I generally got my way - not a good way to handle conflict in a marriage!). I would tell her that you are working on you, and that you are going to take the next 6 months to really improve yourself, and after those 6 months if you feel ready, perhaps she would consider going on a date with you then - and only then. I realize in 6 months you might not be ready or she could have a bf by then. But she will get the idea that you are serious about this...and that you aren't going to push her until then. Girls are amazingly impressed by honesty and by someone who is serious about working on their sh*t. Not so impressed by guys looking for an easy way out. (I'm not saying you are, I"m just sayin...) Good luck to you! It won't be easy...but if you don't get this anger and inability to deal w/conflict under control, you will never find a woman who will want to stay with you. or at least not a healthy minded woman. K

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Fapstronauts... 90 Days without... Posted: 9/17/2012 8:30:14 PM
This is the stupidest idea I've heard of in a lONG time. What good could possibly come fromt his? I mean, you don't gain calories from it. It doesn't make you smell. Or lose friends. Masturbation,that is. If I do it, it is when I'm in bed and alone and horny. I'm probably thinking about someone or a story in my head and it's making me, well, want to masturbate. So I do. Then I orgasm, then I roll over and go to sleep. We aren't talking rocket science here. The only downside i can think of is that it meant I went to bed 20 minutes late that night. That's it. It doesn't cost me money, and not a whole lot of energy. I was "using my brain" while I fantasized, so it was actually good for my brain health. And I probably burned a few extra calories, which is a good thing for me, probably the most exercise I had all day. And looking at porn? So what? So instead of sex occurring in my head, I looked at it...so it doesnt' exercise my brain quite so much...that's the only difference I can think of. If my partner was with me, I would have had sex, thus burning more calories and having some good skin to skin lovey time. But, if he's not, it's not like my masturbating will change how much I want to have sex when I see him again. We always have sex...whether I masturbated daily for the week prior, or whether I didn't feel like masturbating the week prior. Ok, I'm out of advantages and disadvantages to masturbating and porn... yeah, i'm not seeing that abstaining for 90 days is going to help me actually. And in fact, I think it'd probably just piss me off. Because if I DON"T masturbate, I probably will have trouble sleeping, due to the fact that I"m horny as hell and not doing anything to relieve it. So after 90 days you're gonna have a really really pissed off chick... um, no. No thanks, I'll pass. I don't think the world could handle me any more moody than I already am!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Are relationships with some distance involved worth pursuing? Posted: 8/24/2012 1:22:32 PM
2 hours is way too far for me. I think it is a personal decision. I have had men tell me "well you might miss out on the love of your life.". shrug if so, so be it, no biggie. I have kids, I work full time, I have pets. I just don't have time for 2 hrs of driving time every time I want to see someone (and that's if we meet in the exact middle). I like to see someone 1-2 times a week, when our schedules match up. And I like to, you know, be spontaneous occasionally. Hard to do that with a long drive. The furthest away I've ever dated someone was 1 hour and yes, it was a PITA. (pain in the azz) Lots of people do it happily. I won't. I guess you'd say for me, distance is a deal breaker, just as much as anything else can be a deal breaker. My boyfriend lives about 30 min away and that is plenty far! I've dated guys who lived 2 blocks away before and that was SO much easier. But for my guy, I'll do 30 min...still, I wish he lived closer!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

how to handle arguments Posted: 8/10/2012 11:33:06 AM
I just love how you are all self-righteous, like you didn't really act like an azz... but you did, sorry. You said it yourself, you told her I said "ok, I'm done" and started to walk out. That is NOT the same as "I"m getting frustrated, I need a few minutes to myself." Right? Now grow up, and work on your behavior. And learn to TALK to her! I was giving advice to a friend yesterday whose boyfriend does what you did to yours. And my advice to her was that it's ok to need a few minutes to cool down. But then after 15 min, she needs to go to him and say "Ok, I gave you some time, but now we need to talk about what just happened". And if he refuses to work through it, then she needs to say sayonara. Cooling down is reasonable. But refusing to talk through issues is NOT. Now admit it, you were feeling nagged. YOu were feeling like you couldn't win. In fact, you were feeling disrespected. Those are all very valid feelings and I think most of us would have felt like you did in that situation. But did you do anything to make sure it doesn't recur? No, you walked out, pissed her off, and the relationship has degraded further and gotten closer to a breakup. RESPECT is the key, along with COMMUNICATION. As I told my friend, unless you talk it through, respectfully, the problems will just keep happening and you will keep getting pissed at each other. She was complaining to me. Which was fine, but complaining to ME won't fix her relationship with HIM. She needed to talk it through with him...and if he was unwilling (even after a cool down period), then things were not going to get better. He could either man up and find a compromise, or she could find a guy who could. Just my opinion. I already went through a shtty 12 year marriage and learned this stuff the hard way. Don't do what I did. Learn now. I tell ya, I WON"T put up with crap from a man anymore. If there's a problem, we fix it. If I did what your gf did...I would WANT to know. I would want to know that it bothered him, and I would want to avoid doing that to him again. I respect my boyfriend and the last thing I want to do is make him feel shtty, to make him feel nagged or disrespected. (of course, when I was married, my ex would have deliberately done a crappy job of chopping veggies so he could get out of it, but that's a whole 'nother story...)

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

In dire need of advice! Posted: 7/22/2012 1:16:36 PM
Can you lay on your back and grab your legs with y0ur hands? Hook your hands around your legs somewhere b/t the knee and hip I think... I stink at spatial stuff... Or have him push your legs toward your chest and hold them there...basically the same as above but he is holding them in place instead of you. Pillow under your butt would indeed help. it's not that it affects the vagina angle, it's that it raises you up a little so when legs are pushed up and toward your chest, the vagina is easier to get to. Also what if he sits up in bed, leaning against wall, and you sit on his lap, legs around him. He puts his hands around you to your butt and pulls you in and out... You have your hands on his shoulders to hold yourself upright... Oh try this, lay down on sofa, with back on the seat,and your ass hanging off sorta, your legs go over his shoulders... He is on floor kneeling in front of you...I think that would work... I agree w/earlier person that said google is your friend. You are not in uncharted waters...lots of good advice from chair-bound people out there I"m sure who have already tried and figured out what is the best... Have fun!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 106 (view)

silly fantacies Posted: 7/22/2012 1:04:27 PM
Years ago I had a really hot UPS guy who did all the deliveries to my house... So that was a fantasy for a long time...being seduced by or seducing the UPS guy when he comes to do a delivery! Of course back then, both of us were married so nope it never happened. Wow, I had forgotten all about that until I saw the mention of men in uniform (and ay yi yi police uniform totally makes me hot!) Pizza delivery guy...yup that's another one... LOL Never done it, and have never actually had a hot pizza delivery guy to be tempted. but nice idea! Playing Truth or Dare w/my boyfriend and another couple....that's a good fantasy too. Don't think he'd be into that one... Hmmm...you know I'm pretty sure he has the hot schoolgirl fantasy...I think I should surprise him some night at his house dressed up...I have a super super short plaid skirt, I could do that! (He's no longer on POF so I figure I can say that w/out ruining the surprise)... OK, now I gotta go plan...

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

in ne Posted: 7/21/2012 1:03:35 PM
He just happens to show interest when I have decided to not date friends. Here we go...this is the crux of it. You are friends He wants to have sex with you. You have not said yes. It's just that simple. Why does he turn every convo to sex? Because he is super horny for yur azz. Why does he light up when you mention sex? Because he's hopeful. Why does he not talk about anything else? Girl, he's a little obsessed with you right now! The breakup probably hurt his ego and made him feel as less of a man. Unwanted, unloved. And he lost his regular sex source. So he's already horny from not getting any, plus he thinks "getting" someone, aka you, will prove he is still loveable, wanted. I have had guy friends who drop hints about wanting to have sex with me. If I don't want that, I attack this head on and say "hey, look, I really don't want a physical relationship with you, ok? I just watn to be your friend.". If they keep it up, I say "drop it, ok? I've told you I don't want that.". I have had guy friends who drop hints about wanting sex and I want it too...so, I enjoy the hints and I give them back, flirt a bit, and see what happens. The thing is, you have just said that you are also attracted to him...but youw ant to stay friends, but you don't want an fwb OR a relationship? You sound confused to me. an fwb is a friendship with sex.... So do you want to have sex with him or not??? Decide, and TELL him for gods sake and end his misery. And if you tell him NO then if the sex talk continues, tell him to lay off the sex talk, you feel uncomfortable, or you can't hang out with him anymore.... And if you tell him Yes, then just enjoy yourself. Let it be what it is. Give him a whirl and see if things stay feeling friendly with fun sex or if you start to have feelings for him. Be upfront about how you feel, your reservations, etc... I mean, being attracted to a friend isn't exactly torture...At least you know you already have a friendship. What is hard for me is meeting someone new and trying to develop the friendship at the same time as the physical relationship...you are already half way there.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

The Sweet Spot Posted: 7/21/2012 12:42:58 PM
Biting and sucking on my neck. Totally. And the most wonderful thing is that my guy can do it without leaving marks so he can do it all he wants... and I just swoon! OMG....sends me to the moon! And it really turns me on to just look at his chest and rub my hands up and down it, through the lil hairs on it, over his nipples...it's amazing how much that turns me on! Then just continue on down and DESSERT! :) Yep...totally gets me going! Damn...been too long since I"ve gotten some! What's it been, 2 days? 2 1/2? LOL

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

man on top 69 Posted: 7/21/2012 12:35:48 PM
I just realized, reading this, that I have never done 69 with man on top! LOL I have done 69 girl on top and I like a guy to face fvck me, but that is w/me laying down and him sitting/kneeling toward my face. So...thinking about it, I"m not claustrophobic but I don't think I'd like it b/c of the angle. I don't like doing 69 w/girl on top either b/c his penis is "upside down" from the way I like it. LOL Kinda a shame, it's nice to have action in 2 places at once! LOL

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Gay dudes blowing up your profile? Posted: 7/13/2012 5:16:30 PM
Rock, the reason is obvious.... your profile says you are looking for an "intimate encounter". That means you are sex-seeking, and sex-seeking only!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to guess you are really looking for a girlfriend? b/c your profile is nice and normal sounding and not at all sex-seeking sounding. If so, change your profile to looking for dating or relationship or friends. That's why gay men after you...specifically gay men seeking sex. (gay men not seeking sex would only talk to other openly gay men, I"d say). Good luck! Oh, and if you want girls to pursue you, take down the pic of you with your arm around a girl... duh. If you must have it up, don't make it youro main picture, and add a caption underneath that explains who she is (not a girlfriend).

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Why make all the sacrifices? Posted: 7/13/2012 12:44:34 PM
Well, i probably won't have the "popular" opinion around here, but I think it makes sense not to jump into an exclusive committed relationship with someone you've just met, sometimes. I'm not saying you should go have sex w/every chick you meet, but not being exclusive is your choice, your right, and if she doesn't like it, then she doesn't have to date you. Personally I wouldn't wait "months" to have sex with a boyfriend unless I didn't really think we were going to ever get serious. Hmmm...not sure that came out right. I mean, if I thought he was "serious material" and we were going to build something special, then I don't think I'd feel the need to wait months. A month, maybe. MOnths? No. On the other hand, if I felt mostly friendship and figured, well I'll date him but doubt this will ever go anywhere, then I very well might not want to engage in a sexual relationship (thus increasing my "number"). But that's me. And I think if I were to meet a guy and he told me that he wanted to wait "months", I'd probably figure he's not particularly interested in me, he doesn't see me as a serious prospect, so yeah, I'd tell him that fine, but then I didn't want to date him exclusively or commit to him (like you told her). Again, doesn't mean I'd sleep with other guys. Just means that I don't have some imaginary commitment to someone who isnt' really into me. Means I have my freedom to date other guys. Now of course, if I developed feelings for him and him me, then that would change. I would definitely NOT be with other guys and I would choose to be exclusive, even if we weren't having sex. But hey if you've been ona couple a dates, pretty sure you aren't in love yet. So... can't imagine that's the case. THe thing is, relationships are built on negotiations. SHe has her perspective and you have yours. SHe has her idea of what dating looks like and you have yours. Doesn't matter how I feel or anyone else. YOu have to talk to her about it and "negotiate", "compromise". (Put in quotes b/c this isn't a business transaction, after all). She's not impressed? Ok, then talk further, dig deeper, find out what the real issue is. Find out what's in her head. Tell her what's in yours. Share each of your reservations. See if you can find a compromise. I remember last year I met a guy and we started dating and he said something about being exclusive. Like really fast. I told him that I really wasn't looking to jump into a committed exclusive relationship after 2 dates. He laughed and said he wasn't either, he just felt for safety reasons, he did not want to get into a sexual relationship unless we were only with each other. See? I was ready to run at first thinking the guy was moving too fast when I barely knew him, wanting to get serious in week 1. When really he had no serious intentions, he just felt it was important to spell out being sexually exclusive if we were to engage in a sexual relationship. If you like her, and want to date her, talk to her further and seek a compromise...or at least seek to understand each other's perspective!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

how would you respond? Posted: 7/10/2012 6:54:49 PM
If a guy asked me that as a hypothetical, i would not drop him as a friend for asking. I would give the same response I gave here already... and then I would probe a little as to why he's asking. It could be what he's really trying to ask is if a woman didn't plan on being with a chick sexually, but circumstances made it happen, how would the woman feel (i.e. would she be bi now, date women, woould she like it, etc) or maybe he wonders if you are open to 3somes with him and another chick. Who knows... and again, yes, it could be that he had this happen to him. or hell, maybe it's his fantasy to watch a woman get eaten out by another woman, blindfold or not. I wouldn't assume my friend is evil just based on his asking the question. But if it occurred and wasn't hypothetical? yeah, that would be very very bad...definitely a type of rape. I would feel very violated.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Taker or Giver? Posted: 7/10/2012 6:38:05 PM
Dayna, That's a good analysis... and it really shows the wide variety in our warped lil brains I think. I was thinking of a giver being pushy as in, not waiting for others to take, but taking the initiative to give... But I liked your example of pushing yourself on others when it is uninvited or unwanted. I would consider this to be someone who is clingy, obsessive...ick! I have come to the conclusion that I am not a giver so much as a nurturer. I like taking care of pets, people, friends, neighbors, kids, etc. But at my core I want to be nurtured back. In my marriage, that was missing. Soon I felt more like my ex's mother than his wife. I hated it. I am dating a guy now who seems to be a nurturer as well. I joke to him that he's as bossy as me. A simple example is if I am driving and someone doesn't have on a seatbelt, I ask/tell them to put it on. But I"m not used to anyone caring if mine is on. But my boyfriend does. We were pulling out of a parking lot and mine wasn't on yet and he didn't hesitate "put your seatbelt on" I heard. LOL I was shocked...someone else actually tells people what to do? Of course, the control freak in me isn't quite sure how to mix us together. I want to be "submissive" to my partner, to a certain degree, in that I want to give up control and let him drive occasionally (not literally drive as in a car). I like that he nurtures, gives, bosses, whatever you want to call it, but it's been so many years of me having to run a house, kids, pets, etc that I have to learn how to relax my control with my man. The mantle of responsibility is very heavy and there are times I'm not sure if I can carry it adequately. But at the same time, I'm having to learn how to share it. So far, it seems to be when he is at my house, I am more the driver and at his house, he is more the driver, but we work together as a team most of the time when no one is driving... I don't know, maybe I got off track of the giver vs taker, but I think all of these concepts overlap one another in certain ways. and for someone who is sensitive to the concepts in their relationship (sensitive as in "feels" them), it can be a bit of a dance figuring out how it's all gonna work. Now that I sound batsh*t nuts, let me add the caveat that most of what I shared about my bf and I is in my head. We haven't had any issues come up yet where I have to "submit" or where we are actually bossing each other around. Our relationship is still new enough that we are very polite at each other's houses and we are very respectful of each other's needs, each other's space, etc. Like, if he is cooking dinner at his house, I sorta stand to the side and ask him if he needs help, or how can I help. I don't just barge in and tell him how to cook thinking I know better. And when he's at my house, I tell him what I'm making and ask how that sounds to him, if he likes that food. And at his house, he doesn't tell me to wash his dishes, nor does he criticize me if I am helping him do something. We work together really well...but I guess the cynical part of me worries that we are just "too new" to know if we'll actually mesh when a problem arises...or you know, when we have conflicting plans/wants/needs/ideas. At this point, we are both very giving, very nurturing to each other. We like cooking for each other, opening our homes up to one another, etc. Last week I had no electricity for a full week (due to a storm) and he did, including a/c. He invited my kids and I to stay with him all we needed to. He fed us, was nice to my kids, etc. He was great! It was so cute watching him cook bfast for me and my kids! I can't really explain what he did that was so great, but let's just say after being in a marriage with someone who acted completely incompetent all the time so he could get out of doing anything for himself, well, I am floored when I am with my bf!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 245 (view)

A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker? Posted: 7/10/2012 5:59:10 PM
Don't you get it???? With all these choices out there (in dating), you'll never focus and settle on one person. You'll always find some lame excuse to reject a man, because "there's somebody else out there better suited for me". I love it when people use the word "always". It usually means they exaggerated and I won't agree with them. LOL I don't agree with the quote. IF the OPie had stated 50 different criteria, then perhaps I would agree with the quoted. But she didn't. She asked if it is reasonable to want to date a fellow reader. That's one criteria in my book. And in fact, she qualified that even to say that it's a "thirst for knowledge" she is really looking for in a mate. I think it is smart to figure out what are your "must haves" and your "doesn't matters". And this is something that we naturally do overtime as we date. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that's one of the reasons dating is important, rather than picking someone out of a book based on a list of qualities and marrying them without dating. I have my own "must haves" and I"m pretty sure they are different than the OPies. And it's smart for me to limit based on those so that I don't waste some guy's time. Guys of course have their own lists. Some guys for example, want to have babies with a woman. I"m done making babies. I won't date a guy who has that on his "must have" list. That wouldn't be fair to him. Is that wrong for him to limit himself to just women interested in procreating? Well, I think if it's important to him then it's not wrong at all. And of course, back to the OPie...a reader, a man with a thirst for knowledge, is what gets her going...so let her seek it. I'm pretty sure there are enough fish out there for her to find a man like that. All I would say is, if you are going to limit your choices to a narrow selection of mates, then don't b*tch about how long it takes you to find a mate. The OPie has not done that, but boy I"ve sure seen people on here do that! "Why can't I find someone who will accept me, just because I"m a crossdressing male who likes to rub up against balloons while having sex and making dog noises at the same time??" Bahahahahahaha....

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Taker or Giver? Posted: 7/8/2012 9:37:32 PM
No, I disagree. To not give a sht is letting them win. That is losing hope, losing spirit. I give out of love. It is my choice* to give. I like being a person who cares about others. I would lose an essential part of me if I didn't give a sh*t anymore. But a giver doesn't mean being a doormat AT ALL. A giver is a friend, who, knows you need encouragement, goes to your house everyday doing cheers. Givers can be very pushy people...giving advice on people who don't want it, etc. A doormat is someone who lets a spirit vampire suck the spirit out of them....like a vacuum. You aren't freely giving, you are having something forcefully taken from you. Hmmm... I dunno...

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Taker or Giver? Posted: 7/8/2012 9:27:55 PM
That's interesting, it's true, what he said. I know I have had "giving" profiles and "Taking" profiles, based on what I"d most recently experienced. Wow. What a way to psychoanalyze ourselves! I feel like I am going "higher" "lower" "higher" "lower" constantly trying to zero in that magic combination of taking and giving. THis guy was too giving...This guy was too taking... Wait, how can a guy be too giving?? Hmmm.. I think my oppsites are a bit off... Anyway, i do find I swing to the extremes from guy to guy ind ating. Hope this time I stumbled on the right combo! Dating someone now and yes, I do thinking about meeting his needs and is he meeting my needs. honestly, it is something that I "evaluate" in a relatioionship when it's new. And I'm so hopeful that he is the one! So there's a question for you. Can you read my "got a boyfriend" profile and tell if my taking/giving is in balance? Or am I doing/getting too mucho f one of them? Hmmm...is your tempature taking method helfpul for all profiles, regadless of if we are "looking" or "single not/looking"?

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 125 (view)

Finding your partner wearing your underwear!! Posted: 7/8/2012 9:14:36 PM
I have to say, finding out your partner's kinks is very fun! Whether it be wearing used underwear, wanting me dressed like a schoolgirl, naughty naughty need a spanking, or whatever the hell outs, it's kinda like ding you find me sexy when I wear black pushup bras....i found a clue to making you lose control! I like those discoveries! So yeah, I vote "yes", Wear those panties! Tell me! Let's do it! LOL K

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

how would you respond? Posted: 7/7/2012 6:42:15 PM
i would never trust him again, would tell him so, walk out of there, and never speak to him again. The fact that a woman is doing it without your knowledge makes her no different than a vibrator. I mean, it's not like your clit can ID gender. A big part of getting turned on is watching the man do it, or at leats KNOWING it is him doing it. And in fact a big part of being turned on could be the blindfold. But if you are already blindfolded and don't know who's down there, then WHO it is becomes meaningless...duh. I mean, yeah, I'd be grossed out, I'm very hetero, don't get me wrong. but I wouldn't feel shame that I had an orgasm or anything thing. I wouldn't start batting for the other team based on that. I would, however, hate him and disrespect him for doing something so obviously against my wishes...as any man I'd be intimate with would know I am not interested in chicks at all. In fact, quite frankly, I would consider it rape. Very much NON consensual for him to bring in a stranger without my consent and knowledge...gender of the stranger meaningless. My opinion... And if a woman did it to a man, I'd have that same opinion.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Insomnia and.. Posted: 7/6/2012 9:35:52 AM
My daughter takes Melatonin...it is worth trying. It works for her. She is 11 but needs it to counteract the stimulant effect of ADHD meds. yes, lovely I know, but it does work. My sister takes Trazadone every night and swears by it. She also has anxiety issues. My anxiety got really bad after I went into peri-menopause, plus the fact that my life was pure sht at the time. I could not sleep b/c I'd ruminate all night long. It was horrible. I started on Effexor, low dose, and that worked really well. I wouldn't choose it as a first choice for sleep issues, but it was good for me b/c my sleep issue was directly related to my anxiety and depression. (turns out anxiety runs in my family) Effexor is very hard to get off of once you start it, so def not a first choice just for sleep problems. Someone mentioned Tylenol PM...all that is is Benedryl and tylenol. Benedryl is fine to take for a few nights to get your sleep back on schedule, but it tends to have a hangover effect if you take it for too many days in a row...I would not do it personally for more than getting back on a sleep schedule. Just my opinion. For when my anxiety is really bad, I take a very low dose of valium at night. Just enough to relax me to sleep...then the next day my anxiety is lessened as well. I limit myself to 3-4 a month and many months don't take it at all. No I don't actually count them. I just use that as a guideline. It works really well for me. Things like, night before a job interview, fight w/boyfriend, that kind of thing. Basically it reduces the anxiety enough so t hat I can cope with the problem, take action to fix the problem, plus puts me to sleep very nicely. If you think sex is what you need, well, there is always the ol' friends with benefits deal. Nothing wrong with that. One summer I was not dating anyone and could not go out at night b/c of the kids, so I met up w/an FWB over lunch once a week for quick sex. shrug* it worked. It kept me from being desperate for sex, kept my libido calm at a time when dating was just not practical nor was there anyone out there I was interested in dating. It ended when I met a guy I wanted to date that fall. Don't feel bad that you have a normal, healthy sex drive and crave sex. Don't feel bad that you miss it. There's nothing wrong with that and yes, there are times in our lives when we are just too busy to be in a relationship but still need the physical release...AND the skin to skin contact with another human being. Yes, the skin to skin contact is at least as important as the orgasm. And it does reduce stress, help us relax, help us to feel connected to the universe, even if it's just an FWB. Just be safe, condoms, birth control, and be upfront about why you are with the guy so no one gets hurt. Good luck!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 110 (view)

Finding your partner wearing your underwear!! Posted: 7/6/2012 8:55:43 AM
I hate to say this and sound hypocritical, but I'll be honest. If a guy told me this upfront, that he liked to wear women's panties (used, unused, doesn't matter) and lingerie, I'd be turned off and would be unlikely to date him. But if my bf who I was committed and attached to told me this, I'd be ok with it. And by "bf", I don't mean my present one, I mean bf in a more general sense. Once we trust and love someone, I think we are more open to accepting their fetishes (ok, well, I am anyway, even though I know it is hypocritical). It would mean a lot that he would trust me with his secret. And it would turn me on just to hear what turns him on. And it would turn me on to watch him be turned on! I think it's really hot to see a guy lose control. And if that's what put him over the edge, yeah, I'd giggle a little, but then I'd do what I could to support the fetish. Of course, wearing panties or nighties is pretty mild... and this post is about that specifically. If his fetish was something gross or ped related, I'd run for the hills. And if his fetish was still just too weird for me, I can't say that I could stay or support it...we'd be just too different. But wearing silky panties and masturbating? eh, that's not a big deal. I'd go with it.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 161 (view)

A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker? Posted: 7/6/2012 8:32:00 AM
When I was married, my ex and I both had TONS of books. His mostly non-fiction, and he collected more than read. Mine about 2/3 fiction, and I both collected and read. I got big into Shirley Jackson along the way and in one of her books, she talks about having every wall lined with bookcases as she and her husband, a professor, were both huge readers and collectors of books. This made me feel better about all our books... When I left him and started out on my own, I still had tons of books and the # of book increasing as usual. I mentioned to my neighbor that my book collection was getting out of control. She smiled and said "Really? I just figure that means I need more bookcases.". She reminded me of what Shirley Jackson said and yes, I added a bookcase to my room. LOL So I figure...I don't care if my guy reads or not, as long as he accepts my love of reading and my dozen bookcases scattered about the house! And while I wouldn't mind an e-reader, I really love books on paper. I carry books with me everywhere I go, so it's not like I don't always have something on me to read! A man who accepts me for who I am, faults and all, but who also encourages me to better myself and to grow as a person. That's what I want. A man who can't do that, would be a dealbreaker. But I am not the OPie. We all have different needs in relationships. Follow your bliss!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

A guy who doesn't read books. Deal breaker? Posted: 7/3/2012 2:07:42 PM
I am an avid reader. But for me? Absolutely NOT a deal breaker. In fact I find it fascinating the differences in how we all enjoy our lives and take in information. I recall a discussion with a former guy of mine. He works on cars and loves making things go fast. He is very intelligent. He hated geometry but said if they had only showed him the applications for it, he would have enjoyed it (and as an adult, obviously he has seen teh applications of geometry). But for me, if they had given me chunks of wood and said, here, do geometry, I would have run for the hills...but doing it on paper with shapes, well, I loved that. We are all different. I know people that learn by doing and people that learn by reading. I learn by reading. I can't STAND books on tape. I don't even want to hear a joke, I want to read a joke. My mom loves both to read and books on tape. I don't learn by doing either. Draw me a map, don't have me drive the route. I thrive on learning about people and that includes expanding my mind with the way my partner learns, lives, enjoys life. BUT... I am not you. If it is that important to you, then perhaps it might be a deal breaker for you. I have never dated someone where we read the same kinds of books, even if the guy was a reader. My bf likes to read history. Good for him. I enjoy cultural history but only occasionally. I hope he doesn't dump me b/c I don't want to read the same books as him... Pretty sure he doesn't see it as a dealbreaker. Certainly not a dealbreaker to me. But again, I am not YOU. I have dealbreakers that wouldn't be dealbreakers to other people. It's ok.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I go for dating or GFE escort Posted: 6/24/2012 3:54:31 PM
1. ignore what you see on craigslist. The kind of women you want to date will not be on there. 2. Ask out other college students. They will understand where you live. 3. Your mom is a handy excuse . The real reason is that you are scared. admit it to yourself so you can conquer your fears. 4. My first love and also my first bf in college lived with his grandma. never once made me think less of him. He was about 25 at the time. 5. Don't try to run before you can walk. Start by talking to girls, see them as fellow humans, not sex toys. Befriend them, and I mean as real friends. Listen to them and get to know how women tick. We are a bit bizarre. Then learn how to flirt. Hey, flirt w/girls at a party, and pay attention to what works and what doesn't, like an experiment. Finally, figure out what types of women float your boat, what interests you. Look for a woman that interests you for what's in her head, not because she is a warm body with a vagina, and not because of her looks. Ask her on a date, and take all the experience you have gathered in befriending women and in flirting with women and apply it so that you don't totally f-ck up the first date. Work your way to a kiss...etc... and eventually you will be ready for sex. 6. Lastly, consider some books on non verbal cues, how to talk to women, how to date, etc, and not the books written by players. I know of guys who had good success doing this. 7. Never ever try to build a relationship via IM or online chat rooms or email. That is a pseudo-experience and it makes you think you are learning and communicating. you aren't. It's fake. Consider how easily a man could pose as a woman and completely fool you for months during chats...if that is true (and it is), doesn't that tell you how unreal chatting with a real woman is? Think about it. There is NO substitution for talking to girls in real life. 8. Lastly, start with college girls in your classes. Pick one that doesn't terrify you, don't pick the hottest fanciest girl, but someone normal , and chat about your assignments etc. just talk. No goals beyond that. And go from there! ] Obviously, NO ESCORTS! I would not ever date a man who had gone that route, just sayin'.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

condoms and relationships Posted: 6/24/2012 3:44:30 PM
1. Never ever ever have sex without being on some sort of birth control unless you are ready to raise a child with that man. Period. No wavering, no compromising. 2. Do you really want to date someone who cares so little for your sexual health? Who reacts to your concerns with derision? Some guys are very defensive and immature and sure, when a girl says "hey I might get an std, let's use condoms" he'll say "how DARE you suggest I have an STD, why don't you trust me?" and makes her feel like crap for suggesting it...well, that behavior tells me that he will react that way about ALL the parts of the relationship, not just sex. And who wants a relationship with someone who is gonna get defensive when you have concerns or issues to discuss? Be glad you found out what his personality was like only a month into knowing him...and before he guilt tripped you into compromising your beliefs/values/safety measures...or even worse, left you with a lifelong present of an std or a child you weren't ready for.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

I've Never Had An Orgasm During Sex..... :( Posted: 6/24/2012 3:31:32 PM
Age really does help for lots of reasons, many already hit on by other posters. Let's see...: Age of partner or experience level of partner Knowledge of what gets you off... including how you like touched, how different touches feel, hard or soft, fast or slow, clit or anal or vagina, your moods. BUT also, WHAT turns you on: are you submissive, dominant, both, do you like pain, slow and romantic, are you bicurious or does the idea of 3 men at once turn you on, etc... Comfort with who you are: Your POF pictures are very seductive looking but they are, how do I put it...like you are posing b/c you think that is what "sexy" means. In other words, you do not appear to see yourself as sexy when you are just you. You have to feel sexual and sexy INSIDE, even when you are all dirty and sweaty from cleaning the house in old shirts and a shapeless t-shirt. You have to see yourself as totally free to express your desires, fantasies, needs. YOu have to feel free to shout and scream when you are turned on. To verbalize what you want or like. To call yourself a dirty girl if that's your style, or tell him you want his hard c=ck if that's your style...whatever it is. This is where your age is a curse. To feel that level of comfort, I think you need experience and time. When I was your age, I was self-conscious. I would open up "within reason" but not totally. I was afraid of being judged. Still am sometimes, but as the years go by I become more and more confident in expressing what I want. I care less what others think, basically. Think of your dirtiest, craziest fantasy. Now ask yourself, would you be comfortable sharing that with your partner? I don't mean b/c you want to act it out. I just mean, to tell him about it. When you are that comfortable, that means you have gotten to a certain point where you feel the freedom needed to really feel arousal and to let go to the point of orgasm. Also...experience with different styles, different penis sizes, different positions. I remember my ex husb loved me on top but I didn't like it, I felt self-conscious, kinda stupid, and not turned on. After the separation, when I had a bf, he did this thing where he grabbed my hips and pulled me toward him, basically a grinding movement instead of up and down. OMG it was totally different feeling...yes, he found my G spot. After that it was just a matter of time before I learned to recognized that feeling when my partner hit my G in any position. And more time after that to get to the point of orgasm. But that took time. It took openness, comfort w/my sexuality, and well, humbling myself enough to admit that I didnt' know everything. LOL Also, different sized guys hit your insides in different spots. Bigger guys hit a different place than average guys and them different than small guys. So once you learn how to recognize the feeling when someone hits your G, you can wiggle around and work it so that a different sized guy also hits the G...a one night stand won't work, you need time with a partner to get there. And actually, vaginas are not all equal. Some are angled differently than others, and even they are different at different times of the month. While you might love reverse cowgirl, another woman might prefer cowgirl, all based on the angle of the vagina and where the G is. Orgasm during intercourse is most definitely possible, but it might not happen right away. Be patient with yourself!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Blow Jobs... Posted: 6/7/2012 5:45:56 PM
OPie, add in a few more factors - Age, maturity make a difference because you are more confident now. Plus, if he makes you feel good about yourself, that makes you feel good about trying something new. I have recently (past few years) figured out that taking a man's most precious body part in your mouth and loving it is a pretty special gift for him. And not just letting but wanting him to finish in your mouth or on your face is just about the ultimate loving gift as far as giving him acceptance and showing him how awesome you think his penis is. I suspect that you can relate to that idea now that you are with a man that you are in love with. I'm not surprised at all that you would want him to finish that way! I will warn you that semen taste changes on a day to day or throughout a day basis. How long it's been since they've cum, how much water they have drank recently, the food they are eating, and quite frankly I don't think anyone actually knows how long it takes the intake (food/drink) to go from into his mouth and swallowed to out his penis as semen/ejaculate. A day? a week? So just saying, it's not always goign to taste the same and not always as good. But it's really not a big deal either way. Swallow it and it's done. And...lastly...now that you have discovered how much fun swallowing is...have you ever had a guy finish on your face? it's not degrading if you don't think it is. I think it's hot and it's fun and totally sexy...esp if you are onyour knees in front of him. I always shut my eyes but tilt my face up at him and smile, mouth open, tongue out, that kind of thing... Degrading, no. But again, showing total love for his c0ck, for his cum, YES, totally. It's like "Cover me in your love juices, baby!" kinda thang... And...if he really is a special lover, it won't end with him cumming in yoru mouth. Because special lovers encourage you to express your desires, new desires, questions, ideas, fun... As in "hey I saw this once, wanna try it?" or "I'm kinda bored with the bedroom, where could we have sex next? backyard? shower?" etc.... And you'll learn more and more about yourself and you'll orgasm more and more. And it feeds on itself...because you anticipate the pleasure, seeing him makes you wet and ready and then you orgasm more quickly! As for him finishing quickly...make sure he spends a goodly amt of time on foreplay for you so that youa re about to trigger already when he enters you. And yeah, I'd shoot for rounds 2 and 3 if you can... hee hee it's all about having fun together. Don't see it as a problem, see it as an opportunity for LOTS of sex to figure out what works best! :) Have fun!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Didnt stay 2 more hrs, relationship over. Posted: 5/27/2012 11:28:08 PM
This might sound a little mean, but DUDE, GROW SOME BALLS! Seriously, if what youa re saying is true, grow some balls...she's an immature flake. good riddance. Real Men don't put up with crap like that. Only a ball-less wuss would mourn the loss of an inconsiderate girl who breaks up after something so stupid. And yeah, my first thought was pull the stupid plug, who the hell would try to sleep in a room with a noisy tv on? what, no problem solving skills either? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop wanting someone so immature and inconsiderate. Take this opportunity to think about where you want to be in 10 years, and what kind of person you want to be with. Respect yourself, I dont' think you do. If you respect yourself, you won't feel like crap when an idiot breaks up with you over nothing. You will be grateful you only wasted 3 months on her and no more. That you found out what she was really like before too too long. Good luck.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Sex Drives Posted: 5/27/2012 6:42:04 AM
I know a guy who suggested that my high sex drive was due to my ex making me feel like crap and not wanting me...so now that I am divorced I am, what, making up for it? I don't know, his logic didn'tw ork for me. But incidentally, that would describe him pretty well. LOL Oh yeah It hink it was like he needs women to make him feel like a desireable person b/c his ex didn't...so he was putting that on me. But regardless of his logic, he got me to thinking about WHY I have such a high sex drive. I thought it was b/c I am done w/the babymaking and marriage business and now I just enjoy the pleasure and company of a male companion. Kinda like I can relax now and do what I want. But I thought back...and you knwo what? I was just as horny and into sex when i was 20. Unfortunately, that's when I met my ex...and he had very little sex drive, and NO imagination. If that wasn't enough, he gained a lot alot alot of weight. and then turned into a TOTAL jerk when his real self came out (when the honeymoon phase was over and I fell of my pedastal). So a lot of things led to me having no sex drive while married. now that I am single again, I am just like I was when I was 20. With the added benefit of being in a different phase of life, plus the wisdom of age has led me to understand that sex is good clean fun and not degrading, not dirty, not forbidden. At 20, i didn't want my mom to know I had a sex life. At 39, I don't care that she knows...I mean, geez, I'm not a nun. Plus I have more experience now and I know what turns me on. At 20 I was still trying to figure out how to orgasm. At 20 intercourse didn't bring an orgasm, only masturbation. At 39, I orgasm multiple times during intercourse because I know the positions that bring it on, and I feel free to express what I want, do what I want, get what I want. And I know I am good at it, I enjoy bringing my partner to orgasm, making him happy and bringing him bliss...at 20 I was afraid I couldn't or would screw it up. Experience, wisdom, etc. So sure I have a crazy drive b/c I know how good it will be. At 20 I was skinny. At 39 I have curves and I accept my body, flaws and all. Lots of things contributed in my case. I think at 20 I had the internal drive, but didn't know what to do with it. At 39, same drive, but hell yeah I know what to do with it! Of course, at 20, finding a life partner was far easier than at 39...sex is easy to get at my age, life long partner is what's hard to find. Unfortunately, I am ready for both now and most men are married or damaged so much they don't want a life partner. (yes it took about 3 years of separation to get there, had to heal from the **hole's marriage to me). Oh yeah, plus at my age, I know that long term relationships are really hard to maintain and it's not a good idea to "settle"....so I am much more hesitant to commit. I, too, am damaged to an extant, regardless of how hard I try to heal myself. As far as men's sex drives, the only thing I've really pickded up on is that at my age, some men feel like they've seen it all and they get bored easily. Of course, other men are more like me, they know they are good in bed and they really enjoy pleasing their partner. And they know what they like, they enjoy new experiences and trying new things. Their sex drive is plenty high, but it's not random booty they want, they only want to have sex if she's going to be as good in bed as they are. I think a 20-some year old guy is still grateful to just get laid. If she's not that good, who cares. He's like "OMG, BOOBIES! And she's letting me touch* them, wow, I'm so happy!!!". Whereas the 30's and 40's-some year old says "Eh, hers are ok, but I like the chick's over there better, I'm really not into big/small/droopy/fake/whatever breasts." I dunno, I'm not a guy, so just speculating here... And of course, we are ALL individuals, no one answer fits us all...

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

guy has difficulty reaching orgasm Posted: 5/22/2012 4:16:25 PM
Testosterone is highest in the mornings. Plus you are fresh and not exhausted from the day. I have a guy friend who can rarely orgasm in the evening, but is a 60 seconder (something like that?) in the mornings... His girlfriend is used to it and just doesn't expect him to cum at night. Try to relax your standards, be ok with not cumming for awhile maybe. It's rather nice to fvck for awhile, take a break, get a drink of water, talk, then go again, then take a break, maybe play with each others bodies for a bit, ease into it again...etc... take advantage of the ability to have extended bouts of sex. In other words, use it to your advantage! Some of my best sexual memories are with a guy who couldn't orgasm easily. We'd have sex on and off all evening long, then again in the night, and then in the morning he'd POP quick quick. We had time to play around with different positions, toys, touching, locations,e tc. and with guys who can only go once or twice and are finished you don't get that as easily. And once you stop trying to orgasm...you may find it happens more easily on it's own!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

50 Shades of Grey Posted: 5/21/2012 7:18:18 PM
Eh, I've been reading erotica for years. I can't imagine there's anything in that series that's that new or unusual. Sounds like the newest fad. Like the Harry Potter people have never read a fantasy book before so they are all "wow'ed" by it... or the Twilight people reading a vampire romance for the first time. snooze I really enjoy the publisher "ellora's cave". They are a good one to check out. I like Jaid Black's books. I do like that the 50 shades books are getting women talking about what turns them on. And it's getting women to think a bit outside their own little love box (so to speak snicker). Sex isn't dirty or bad or degrading, in my opinion...no matter what style you prefer. I'm happy if anything gets people to open their minds a bit!

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

no no no no Posted: 5/21/2012 7:11:18 PM
Re: Testosterone... Some believe it helps w/sex drive, some don't. There are lots of different opinions out there. I'm menopausal, I"m on hormones (not the cream), and I have a raging wild sex drive...and no I"m not taking testosterone. And my vagina is just fine thank you (but I"m on hormones so it should be, plus I haven't been in menopause that long and have been on hormones of one kind or another for the last 6 years straight). I'm just saying, no supplemental testosterone here and my drive is great.

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

vagina problem Posted: 5/19/2012 9:40:15 AM
No it is not tissue buildup^^^ Quite the opposite, the vagina atrophys and thins after menopause without supplemental estrogen in the form of a cream or pill. I had a friend recently tell me that before she had a procedure done, she had to use estrogen cream daily for 2 months. She is post-menopausal and this is why. I asked my dr about it (b/c I am in menopause really early) and she said yes they want the vagina in the best shape possible before doing procedures through it (like a hysterectomy for example). So one could conclude the estrogen cream would make the vagina "in the best shape possible" for intercourse as well! Our local "Red Hot Mamas" group regularly does presentations on sex after menopause and the issues that can arise. vaginal atrophy is very really, unfortunately. It's easily remedied, but definitely needs addressed if she wants to have comfortable and pleasurable intercourse!!! Kaylie

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

More about anal.....seriously there is more Posted: 5/19/2012 12:11:28 AM
I agree with chickie above ^^^^.... If you are behind her and your c0ck is hitting her G spot through the anal and vaginal walls, she'll come like mad! Which is kinda funny, really... that anal feels good because the penis is pushign on part of the vagina...hmmm...But you know, it feels different than vaginal sex and somehow, I guess it can be worth doing, if a girl is in teh mood for it. (Which has only happened to me twice...dont' see it happening again soon)

kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Men wearing their socks during sex Posted: 5/17/2012 7:01:03 PM
Or how about "I wear my sunglasses at night"? Let's sing that while we fornicated partially clothed!

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