she has been diagnosed with bipolarism chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: she has been diagnosed with bipolarism

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 359 (view)

she has been diagnosed with bipolarism Posted: 9/23/2009 2:40:59 PM
OP I had an ex that had been diagnosed as bipolar. Manic depressive behavior that was more like the episodes that were ackward but mostly incoherent. The episodes would involve an event that had occurred weeks ago that she had dealt with aside from the relationship. And those episodes were brought into the relationship. Very scary without medication which is what I had dealt with. I would allow the dad to make his own decision as to what he wants to deal with. Because the fiancee will be marrying the family not just the dad. It also seems like there may be in part an issue with the daughter and girlfriend related to the dad. Not uncommon when dealing in relationships with older children.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

Talking about accents and voices Posted: 9/23/2009 12:32:12 PM
I tend to envision a voice while reading the writing of the potential date. Though I don't let any expectation minimize a potential good date. Since I enjoy learning cultural difference in language as well as the language is something I like. It gives you more to expand on in a dating situation. Overall though it is what is being discussed and what we do on a date that I tend to focus on. Good looks and a nice voice helps but if what is being said lacks content then it would seem like the relationship would rely on other qualities of the partners to be sustained.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

What is too fast for you? Do you believe in things happening at a certain time? Posted: 9/23/2009 12:11:30 PM
OP since you provided more information I thought I'd say this. If he doesn't know that you are interested in the idea of dealing with other people it may create an issue at some point. He may not be there yet with how your thinking based on maturity. And he may not know because you haven't mentioned to him how you feel. Its only fair to mention it to him since you consider him a sweetheart. He could be okay with just being friends.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

To give or not to give your phone number to women on this site... Posted: 9/23/2009 9:47:13 AM
Maybe my observation is way off but it's been my experience that if you give your number to a woman first you can come across as desperate. To someone who very well may have her choice of a number of men you've dropped to the bottom. Unless there's something else outstanding about you; maybe you're the one who's drop-dead gorgeous, you've shown yourself to not be a challenge to her. I highly doubt I didn't come across as a challenge in the scenerio I mentioned. As relating it to this statement. While I agree with this in part, I thought the timing was right on. I sent the phone number mid stream after about ten emails had been exchanged after receiving personal information that was specific. If I had been considered a flake in the scenerio I mentioned it behooves me to think someone would provide specific personal information to someone they assert they can't recall dealing with. Unless of course the personal information provided was made up which would to me make better sense to me then me flaking. I thought she was being honest thats why I provided my phone number. In either scenerio I can agree that someone has to take the initiative or the interaction won't go any further. She did contact me first which would make the assertion about the challenge make more sense. After ten emails though and from how the conversation had been going I thought sending the phone number was appropriate.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 183 (view)

Stalkers? How many have you gotten from POF? Posted: 9/23/2009 8:55:57 AM
I think that people associate certain characteristic to stalkers while ignoring others. If you read legal definitions of stalking as mentioned you will begin to realize as mentioned again that many people fall into this category unknowingly by the things that they do to co-workers, spouses, boyfriends, etc. The court of public opinion is often different than why, or how a court makes its decisions. Just like rapes go unreported so does behavior that would be classified as stalking. Consult with your respective state or a legal professional to tell you what actually constitutes stalking. I also agree as mentioned the word is glorified and diminishes the severity of a case where a person may be in harms way by a stalker.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

To give or not to give your phone number to women on this site... Posted: 9/22/2009 11:32:28 AM
After a few weeks? Sorry to burst your bubble, but she probably genuinely had no idea who it was. Unless someone had made a really huge impression - which happens, but is rare - I wouldn't either. Well if my impression was as fleeting has hers which was the case then we effectively made way for others that are better respectively. Barring games and dishonesty I can only go by what I think about someone by limited interpretation from online. The OP had a couple of potentials flake on him; in your situation, you did the flaking. Not similar at all. You are probably right. Though I have never considered myself to be a flake. I do try to fool myself sometimes but it doesn't work most of the time. I like to think I'm perspective.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

To give or not to give your phone number to women on this site... Posted: 9/22/2009 10:16:22 AM
I'd like to know if there are men who experienced this kind of situation before with women on this site because that doesn't make any sense at all! I had a similar issue once a while ago on here. Chatted with a women conversation was going well. She began to provide personal information about herself to me. So I figured it was proper to give my number. We chat more. Then I had some things to do and didn't get back to her for a few weeks. She began playing games like saying who is this. I realized what I was dealing with and discontinued communication. And discarded the phone with the number after a few months. It is good to realize what personality types your dealing with. Sometimes you can predict behavior by how they interact online. I tend to think behavior gets worse not better. Also I wouldn't provide a phone number unless they are within reasonable distance because voice communication from my experience motivates an immediate meet. If they insisted and were beyound a reasonable distance and I liked them I'd request their number asking of course before emailing it. Voice chat to me can ruin a relationship unless you guys have met and are able to meet reasonably.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

What is too fast for you? Do you believe in things happening at a certain time? Posted: 9/18/2009 3:56:13 PM
I think your being a bit vague when you say move on after five weeks. You refer to him as sweetheart perhaps more than just a friendly gesture. To me has to do with the chemistry of the particular couple. Each couple moves at a different pace. I like to develop a friendship first and than determine if we are compatible enough to be more than friends. There are some partners that are more compatible with less of a need to make the same kind of determination. In that situation I would be thinking in terms of how the guy would play a part of your future which you are suggesting. He may not know how you feel about a future together as you don't mention to what extent you guys communicate. If it is a relationship where you guys like each other have been on dates I'd consider being more direct with him. Because if you are as direct with him as you are in your OP he may not know that you guys are moving to fast.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Guys, please stop it! Posted: 9/18/2009 3:34:41 PM
If another guy thinks a women is attractive then its just an opinion. I'd rather Paris Hilton say it myself.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Islam Goes to America Posted: 9/18/2009 2:30:24 PM
I can recall how the US Russian relations improved in the midst of the trade center incidents few years ago. Perhaps since the US is now bombarded with healthcare, this may have some practical influence on relations between muslims and american citizens. Though I to am not a part of organized religion I do try to be abreast of how groups function. I really don't think having proper relations between different religious groups is likely until each group begins to deal more in the spiritual aspect of religion that is more inclusive and less religious as an institution. Each group wants its independence yet have a resistance to cohabitate aside from the United States. IMO although the United States is not the most popular country abroad it is a land of rules and laws and probably more religious groups coexist unlike in other parts of the world.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Does the opinion of others .... Posted: 9/16/2009 4:17:44 PM
I've observed it happen quite often during high school. Had a friend who would deal with the most popular girls. A lot of the guys were after them. They were the topic of discussion most of the time even though he minded his own business. And they tended to be objects of rumor and exaggerations to break them up. I would imagine the same could be said about people in relationships in social settings, activities they attend, even with there own families as adults. I'd like to think a person would be keen enough to know when they are being used for other agendas whether through politics or otherwise. It is not easy to be aware of those things. Had another friend after college whos family broke her and the guy up she had been dating and was serious about. The guy fought more with the parents than he got into disagreements with her. If they had gotten married then that may have made a difference because they say when you wed it is not only with the other person but you marry the entire family. I'd also like to think that a person whether family or the person in the relationship would realize when they are running in circles with something that doesn't exist.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 118 (view)

a young girl interest in a older male Posted: 9/16/2009 3:23:00 PM
I don't think a ten to twelve year age difference is a bad thing. It really depends on maturity. I prefer older women but tend to get approached by younger women. Women on average tend to be more mature than a guy her age. So it would seem natural to be at a relative maturity level as a guy a few years old. A guy in his early thirties is probably not going to be that much ahead of you on average maturity wise in a relationship but it has a lot to do with nature and nurture. For example. If he comes from an environment of younger parents his maturity level may be different than say a guy whos parents are not baby boomers. And vice versa. Based on the information you provided I'd go with it because he should be mature enough at that age to know what his priorities are. And when to focus on having fun with friends.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 386 (view)

Dating is all about income Posted: 9/16/2009 3:12:27 PM
I'd have to disagree based on expectations. It is not uncommon for anyone who has been dating for a while and earns income to pay on dates. Even the more traditional dates. IME younger women want to be taken care of and expect to have there dates pay on average. Once you've gone through different relationships jobs and restaurants it doesn't seem to be the most important thing. Getting with someone you enjoy spending time with and can relate to seems to be most important. While I don't disagree that having dual or more income makes things easier. I'd much rather take a date I really like then one focused on things other than us. Income purchases time doing things. How that time is spent where and with who can make all the difference.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 118 (view)

Enslaved to the System Posted: 9/16/2009 7:30:05 AM
I love it OP. Your thread is creative. Here listen to my thoughts. Human league of fascination that feels with the mind that which the owner jumped from the sinking ship of thought Imagination bound like a kite the sea of abstraction Weather the emotions of the storm that social justice derivative from the absolute formula Receipes the generic prescription was made ingredients offered for the common drug paid to be suppressed from the ordinary soul Produced and ascribed to its own way shifting gears the generations mind is set on course of high tide washes the sand shirts of the shores to be filled. Another frontier. As there has to be a better way to take over the debt of thought that transcends that which is absolute. Interpretation of the soul translation to the mind bound like a kite in space with gravity In the sea of thought without institution. Institution I knew didn't exist independent of the abstract.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Has any body ever told you that you're a bad kisser Posted: 9/10/2009 11:09:35 AM
I have, however, kissed badly on purpose when I really wanted to make sure the person would not want to see me again. It backfired on me once and the guy wouldn't stop calling me. Wondering how being a bad kisser can motivate someone to stop calling. I've been told by one woman that I'm a bad kisser. She said because when she is talking my mouth is open and when she is kissing it is closed. Of course when we kissed there wasn't any motivation to do so.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

Enslaved to the System Posted: 9/10/2009 10:22:53 AM
Hi mynameis Sarah, you have good poetry that I had to compliment on. I've adjusted my age restriction because your maturity level and experience is indicated in your writing. I don't get many emails but Im all ears. Have a good one.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Running Cramps. Posted: 9/8/2009 12:39:03 PM
What about taking an ibuprofen before I run? Has anyone ever done that? I haven't. But if the muscles were that sore I probably would run at all. I'd try and soak them. Sometimes the cramping may be from a muscle that isn't stretched right. Along with the acid build up in the system. Having a good diet can make things easier along with incorporating those things that reduce the acid and muscles from cramping.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone? Posted: 9/6/2009 7:11:17 AM
How fast can I run you ask, Say it aint so. Crazy about the puffs. Blow it out. Which one on one relationship that luminates That which the average can’t not see. A blind date and relationship. Of one do we break it to fix if aint no better way To string along the theory. Numbers for the Doctor. House. Juice Man. It’s not ready yet. There. It cuts Both ways the cloth for our understanding that now you Know how I feel. The games that play people like cool. Likewise. To steal no for an answer to negotiate. Your word is what I want to be crazy like the fox. For no dogs allowed. Back of The bus. Just like that. I knew it wasn’t me to think like that. Say it aint so.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Erosion of the language Posted: 9/5/2009 2:03:14 PM
OP I think if you are thinking in absolutes then interpreting someones word usage will cause issues. Other than cultural dynamics it probably means within a particular pretext. Not being something all inclusive to which is easier to do. If you become jaded. There is no hope to understanding someone else.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 111 (view)

Being friends... does it really work? Posted: 9/3/2009 9:56:01 AM
OP I'd say yes. Only if you are open with each other like friends really do. If you are being inhibited then you are more likely to have a guy like and want to be intimate with you while acting as though he only wants to be your friend. Its interesting that you believe you have this issue with all the partners you deal with. You are attractive but I really don't think all guys are going to want more than friendship. Consider how you are interacting with them. If however you think they after being friends are going to want more as a guess then it might be best to not go further. I had a few cute women friends that I didn't have sex with but would have been open to more if they wanted. The difference is that I told them about it. And once they mentioned they only wanted for things to be how they already were. We left it at that. And our friendship grew because of it. Some guys though I believe wouldn't be able to get pass it with honesty or not. In that case what you suggest seem to be best. As there are a lot of people friends or not that are interested in a partner that has something to offer.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Online university education? What do you think? Posted: 9/3/2009 7:34:10 AM
It is a good decision for what you do with it. Online classes is not really new. The option has been around a decade and a half ago. Hybrid classes had been prevalent around the time I had most recently been in classes. Working adults find online to be convenient that can assist with reinforcing knowledge that they may have on the job. As far as what an employer wants. They hire from legacy and alumni in many cases as a way to network. After all. A hiring manager also has a supervisor and they want someone that will not only contribute to the bottom line but will assist with advancing their own careers. So there is definitely a politic to it. And a degree from a top tiered brick and mortar institution is in demand by employers that are leaders in their respective industries. With that considered. A manager that has less education and credentials are less likely to hire someone that has more education then they do. Whether it is from a top tier school or online education. Now jobs or careers that rely on advanced education and not technical school and certifications is a different thing. But then again. A hiring manager in those industries are more likely than not to have the education and credentials. So I'd research your current industry and determine if you benefit from getting more education. And how it would benefit you long term. Getting a college degree is an investment. And is an investment that should consider goals and objectives for the type of job and and career planning.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 276 (view)

astrology and relationships Posted: 8/31/2009 11:13:58 AM
I definitely consider it. I'd like libra, sagittarius, and pisces for women I'd date. Though pisces tend to be a bit flaky. I can't be the only one that thinks that. I'm only compatible with Leos that are same phase as me virgo cusp or the front end of the sign. Which I would actually work well in a dating relationship with. Capricorns fwb all day. Gemini's are okay but they tend to be too emotional for me similar to pisces. But I get a connect from pisces like no other sign. Though might not be the best sign for me. Lets see. Taurus I like. But they are to stubborn to start a relationship. And once it starts. It doesn't stop. I had an ex who was diagnosed bi-polar was a taurus women. Aquarius best as friends. Horrible for me in a dating relationship. Scorpio I'd place with aquarius for me as friends. Cancer a bit to sensitive for me. But good support women. Did I forget anybody. Oh aries. Great sex. I mean best sex. A relationship would require work. I might not be attentive enough for her. And she'll probably cheat because of it. Of course this is in fun and what I've dated. Could you imagine I dated the zodiac.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Should I keep the wireless router or go wired? Posted: 8/30/2009 10:11:29 AM
OP have you tried the network adapter card for your PC. I'd go with linys to. Fewer problems to deal with. I had the kind of card you had for a laptop and it was a problem. But you might want to get a techie to troubleshoot it to tell if it is a peripheral or the host.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Young parents with teenagers Posted: 8/30/2009 10:06:14 AM
IME, women that have older kids that reside with them make dating difficult. I prefer that if she has children for them to either be really young or them to be grown after which they would be on there own. The only issue I'd have with a teenage daughter would be her not realizing that I'm old enough to be her dad and that prefer women close to my age or older to date. I get hit on more by younger women than older. Now with the guys. Any guy who has dated women with older guy children may have encountered the challenge the male gives the guy who is dating his mom. I prefer not to deal with the high school age guys. Again like the girls if they are young it is okay. But if they are older and reside with the mom it will create an issue unless they are on there own.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying! Posted: 8/29/2009 12:21:19 PM
I agree. Seems like that guys that are interested in me are usually the chubby ones. Not into chubby men, however in your case I advise you to contact men that you find to be interesting or that you are attractive too. You don't always have to let the man make the first move. I get women that think they can get any guy that they want. And threaten to leave me when I'm not attentive. All the while trying to make me aware of all the men that are after her. Your question is one that a lot of people have OP. Not just women. Wouldn't it be nice to date someone that you actually like. And who is not in a fantasy world.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

What do women REALLY want? Posted: 8/29/2009 11:57:36 AM
I wouldn't be trying to figure that out OP. Honestly you'd have better luck reading random profiles and sending email. And to think that you would get a million dollar answer. There would no longer be a need for self help books.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Who decides what is reasonable? Posted: 8/29/2009 10:30:47 AM
Hey, thanks for mentioning your training OP. That is information I'd want to know. Because I think it may affect personal relationships. Personal relationships aside from your training are often not based on rationality of thought and action. And surely in a intimate argument reason and logic are no longer at the forefront. I've learned that people function within a rule based system as a way to bring justice to minority views that would otherwise be disregarded in a democratic system. Personal relationships however are established based on the viewpoints of the partners. And unless you know what philosphical platform the partner is coming from. You could be out in left field figuratively. And if money, time, and effort are involved. Often there is no recourse. I think that is why some people take evaluating who they want to be involved with in dating as an important endeavor. Can save time and money.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Should I keep the wireless router or go wired? Posted: 8/29/2009 8:42:11 AM
I only see a reason to do wireless for convenience if you have multiple users on a hub. If I were on a desktop then a lan would be something I'd use. Since it is a signal not unlike that to a phone tower intermittent communication is not uncommon. However if it is persistent than that may be an issue. I'd do as was already suggested. And that is to check the router software. As you may want to reinstall. Then do the network settings check. I'd also determine if you have the most current MS updates and that firewall settings are not interferring with the other. Other than that. Since you have a laptop then it doesn't make sense to get a lan sense what you have can function with both computers with more roaming and less interference.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Running Cramps. Posted: 8/27/2009 7:22:45 AM
I wouldn't eat anything more than energy supplements like granola, protein bars etc close to your running workouts. Because your system is likely to not maintain it while doing intense exertion. And you won't have a commode to satisfy this that wouldn't break your workout. Do a less intense run before stretches at workouts. I wouldn't do stretches than run. I also have to agree with the breathing part. Whether it is through your nose or a combination with less nose breathing. The type of races you are running has a lot to do with your issue also. You haven't mentioned what kind of race you are running. If it is less distance like a five k which is like a sprint nowadays. You dont really get comfortable because it is like an all out sprint especially with the mile. More distance like ten k and more than your breathing is so important. Consider a track club if you are competing in running which most people on average are not. Pack running assist with your body timing to get use to exerting and surges which pull on your body more. Weights will assist you to with strength and endurance which a lot of runners have to do. Once you determine the type of race you are running than your body will adjust to the rigor of your workouts. I also recommend cross country running if you do longer distances. The hills really assist with strength and the surface changes. I think there is an assumption that you are running on flat surfaces like a track or less hilly surfaces.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

Men with hair on their chest, or NO? Posted: 8/17/2009 10:09:59 AM
Sorry. I'm naturally full chested with it on. I've shaved it off after college just to get a feel of what its like. I don't like the constant maintanence. And it is probably much different for a guy with kinky hair even if it is not matted and spaced out. Edit: Oh you said you like hair on chest OP. My bad.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Don't love your food... Don't dream about double fudge ice cream... Posted: 8/17/2009 9:29:32 AM
I think that food is definitely a conversation piece. I enjoy food. And love the different cuisines that the vendors provide at the store. I'll indulge and am not ashamed to admit it. Ice cream is something I also enjoy. But I don't think there is anything hoky about that. New Age hoky? I tend to like the spiritual aspect of it. And it could transcend into eating. I've never really been overweight until after college. When I kind of picked up more than my natural weight. I trimmed down again to my natural weight once I became pickier about the things I consumed. More people than society cares to admit are well beyound their height weight proportion. But if you can exercise along with indulging in a nice meal. I'm with it. And the more economical the better. A lot of people are trying to prepare nice meals that are nice on the budget also. Especially for single people. I know I like a date that likes food.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Thanks POF Posted: 8/17/2009 8:49:01 AM
its true though when you're about to give up, love is supposed to show up when you at least think about it. I always thought it was something you were suppose to resist. Edit: Sarcasm

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 223 (view)

Why do tall big men want tiny women ? Posted: 8/17/2009 8:12:21 AM
I've always had a fetish about dating a taller women. A women over six three. Of course I'd like her to play either college or professional ball too.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 904 (view)

Why women want guys to come to THEM Posted: 8/17/2009 6:55:29 AM
I think it has to do with childhood development and adolescence. Siblings make it easier to understand these dynamics. Especially the older younger dynamic of opposite gender. IMO social conditioning reinforces the behavior. With these things as a preface control I think plays a role in it. Vulnerability is not very comfortable to endure for a lot of people. As well as rejection. I don't mind being approached by a women. And appreciate it when there is compatibility. It makes things easier for me. But as I've dated overtime the benefits to being with someone you don't really like for more than friends doesn't outweigh the costs.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Mom Jailed over child support Posted: 8/15/2009 1:08:34 PM
I was told by a judge even moms hold same obligations as dads. I was paying $120 a month when I made $7 an hour. I give now $200 a month since I doubled that. It's still not a whole lot for him, but something I could afford. I have no problem helping my child. I think the women in this article made a lot more than minimum wage. If the custodial parent had a decent income but had a lot of personal expenses, debt, prior alimony and child support payments then that has to do with how much the non custodial parent has to pay. It doesn't seem to be easy to determine how much either of the parents earn without other current expenses. I had a friend in high school who had three kids before he was twenty one and didn't reside with his childs mom. She and the mom never pursued child support. Some parents get easier custodial parents to deal with. Albeit like some of the judges in these situations.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Mom Jailed over child support Posted: 8/15/2009 8:23:08 AM
That is an interesting article OP. Not PC for sure. This also is becoming more prevelent because of demographic shifts. Its interesting from an international standpoint also, ie. child support enforcement abroad. Since the United States is no longer an isolated acting global nation state. It would seem that international child support enforcement with the US and other countries would also become more prevalent especially with neighboring countries.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

what the heck is wrong with men Posted: 8/10/2009 8:31:12 AM
Wouldn’t it be great to know what a man was going to be like inside a relationship before fully opening your heart to him? Wouldn’t it be good to know if a man was going to be the kind of guy who was going to withdraw in this way or not, and what to do about it in case he was? The only way you can know a guy is to know yourself by having relationships. I think it is horrible to be committed to someone you don't know. Only to realize it five years into a marriage. This is a common dilemna of a lot of couples. If you are reading any books on the market for finding suitable guys. I would recommend Ultimate Husband Hunter by Nancy Nichols. It is a good guide to use to find a relationship that is right for you.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

what the heck is wrong with men Posted: 8/9/2009 3:25:03 PM
OP I think that the emotional part of a relationship for a guy is deeper water to swim in. IMO women are stronger in that area of the relationship. A lot of guys gravitate toward what they are comfortable with. That is for the most part the physical aspect of the relationship. It is how most guys are conditioned. And it is what they can relate to. As far as why guys withdraw. Again it to me has to do with comfort zone. And what he is able to handle. I've dated women who were emotional recluse. Cute as can be. But would be considered by someone who knew her well possibly a family member as someone detached emotionally in relationships.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

The Buddy Zone Posted: 8/8/2009 9:49:43 AM
I actually prefer being friends. Because it allows you to observe what she is really like. To think that a guy and woman that really liked each other while friends would forego being more based on the fact that they are friends is off the wall. There are no rules in personal relationships. The only rules are the ones created by the couple. And to say being friends relegates a couple to a life without being involved in anything more seems a bit naive.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Is this cheating? Posted: 8/8/2009 7:47:32 AM
Then last September she started to go out with her work girlfriends to the bar on Friday nights. I'm not a drinker and didn't go. I would also consider whether alcohol plays any role in the relationship. Alcohol often destroys relationships. Although it isn't clear whether it is an issue. I'll say that social drinking can easily turn into a dependence because of the tolerance element. Alcohol is a depressant and is often used as a stimulant. It depresses the system. It results in poor judgement and can elicit hallucinations that also effects perception and interaction. I think alot of people think that people who don't drink are boring. But drinking while having fun is as much conditioning as doing the same without consuming. I'd consider this along with counseling. Not as an ultimatum. But as a consideration. You don't have to be religious to be a non drinker. Just like you don't have to be catholic to be an alcoholic.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Is this cheating? Posted: 8/6/2009 10:53:45 AM
OP I would use the opportunity as a cooling off period. Allow the situation to take care of its self. That is if she is interested she'll talk to you about it. Meanwhile I'd be making arrangements not to be with her. Because you can't predict what she is going to do. That is based on what you have already mentioned. I'd also consider counseling if you guys are still married.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 162 (view)

Lets Talk Politics - Do you believe in the Death Penality? Posted: 8/3/2009 5:44:17 PM
After finding her husband or boyfriend in bed with another woman, Karla took a pick-axe to them. While spending 2 decades on death row she had a religious conversion. Unlike many so called "conversions" this one seemed to be real. Everyone who knew her said she was a completely different person than the one who did the crime. Many religious leaders including the Pope tried to convince Bush not to execute her. Instead Bush went on the radio and mocked her pleas for mercy before he had her executed as planned. I hadn't read this story but I'll say that there is a difference between heat of passion between spouse which would amount to voluntary manslaughter in several states. And committing the crime when planned.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 156 (view)

Lets Talk Politics - Do you believe in the Death Penality? Posted: 8/2/2009 4:28:13 PM
I think for a lot of people the issue is more a matter of fairness. I'm all for the death penalty when it is administered fairly. Legal representation plays a role with that. As well as the judicial branch within states and countries. DNA evidence and more advanced technologies available now improves upon a system that didn't get it right for some in the system. It is interesting how forensic scientist are coming up with new ways to identify criminals. But I think even so fairness is going to be paramount.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 258 (view)

Does anyone have anything good to say about their EX? Posted: 7/21/2009 8:39:27 AM
I was dumped once but in hindsight was happy for it more than a decade ago. Only time I had ever been dumped in an actual relationship. It actually turned out how I initially thought it would but you know some people have to be the one to turn the switch. I wouldn't have anything bad to say about her to another guy to dissuade him for dating her. She basically made threats toward me throughout the relationship. And was upset that I dated another coworker while we resided together. We hadn't been exclusive yet I was considered in the wrong. It was a nasty relationship but came to a hault in a way that made me comfortable considering the threats I had received during the relationship. So would I not mention this to another guy. Not a need to. Because he would figure that on his own. Aside from that she was a nice women who I would have been better off with as friends. She is a good women for another guy other than me.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

When someone on the street ask you for money, what do you tell them? Posted: 7/19/2009 10:09:00 AM
If they aren't from a tent city and just aimlessly on the street I'd try to determine if it was to support some habit rather than for hunger. I've worked at jobs in more than one state were the coworkers asked for money more than someone on the street.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

My picker is broken! Posted: 7/14/2009 8:37:03 AM
OP I would consider a self evaluation. Because it is you that are getting the same type of people. Also I would utilize the needs assessment and chemistry tools on any dating site. Because it offers you more than what you already have. That is often people use dating sites as one of several ways to do what they are already doing. But often what they haven't had were self assessments of what they are like as a person. So I would utilize those tools in evaluating potential dates along with dating books on the market. Consider forum posts if its something they participate in. I would also consider the guys who don't participate in the forums. Otherwise to pursue someone in an online environment is nothing more than imaginery until you meet a date and determine if who you think someone is is so.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Why do guys only respond when women treat them like sh** Posted: 7/14/2009 7:30:27 AM
Some of you guys don't get what I'm saying. I am trying to say that these guys who keep pursuing me are guys I don't want and have told several times that I am not interested. I don't ask them for anything. They offer and sometimes just do things for me. I am not encouraging them at all. I think (an opinion) the point was raised that at some point you come to terms with yourself and who you are. Often it doesnt have much to do with the other person. Rather you. Consider these guys you refer to as a whole. More often than not they are similar. At different stages in development the partners that seek you out adjust with your changes. It would require you to evaluate your dating history to understand this. I would rather the guys that I actually like pursue me and treat me nicely but that doesn't seem to happen. Again it deals more with you rather than them. You won't atttract someone who is not at a relative similar phase.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Why do guys only respond when women treat them like sh** Posted: 7/13/2009 2:35:42 PM
Why do you guys like women who act b**tchy???? There is a rhyme and reason to married couples. And people that stay in long term relationships. They know when to do what. There are only a couple types of people that are not part of those. Those who enjoy not being in a relationship. And those who have attitudes who don't know what to do when.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Overcoming the initial loneliness of a temporary long distance relationship Posted: 7/13/2009 12:50:52 PM
OP I would have the physical at a minimal until you are at a place where you are more stable with employment. The friend should have provided this information to you beforehand. It seemed that while you may have been aware that she was pursuing employment you may not have been aware that it was not there. That way you could have had time to understand what may have been involved in the relationship. Long distance relationships require different personality types. It can be even more challenging if you were sexual in the relationship before the distance. Sometimes that in itself can be enough for it to go no further. These type of relationships are becoming more common but it doesn't make them any easier.

btj_rv

Joined: 12/9/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

How to show you're interested in a guy? Posted: 6/27/2009 11:49:55 AM
Try being natural without the inhibition. It would seem that the more experienced with dating you are would come across to him. If he is interested and doesn't want you to squirm he'll pick up on it and make things easier. Same way some women do with guys.

Show ALL Forums