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Author
Thread: dating someone who is still looking and you don't feel the need to
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
65 (
view
)
dating someone who is still looking and you don't feel the need to
Posted:
9/8/2009 7:49:28 PM
That is where I don't agree. The way I see it is your on date because you like the person that much and on top of that it doesn't take more than a few hours or 1 date to figure out if the person is a right fit for you emotionally, sexually well that takes a bit of time but that doesn't mean you cant be exclusive before then but even that shouldn't take more than a month or 2.
It takes that short time to know you should be a couple? Not in my books. That is the reason I backed out on meeting someone when I sensed that attitude. I think you are jumping the gun. It is whispering hope if you instantly know you have to be exclusive.
For those that say he should be talking to her about being exclusive I completely disagree with that too. If you are on a date and having a good time and connecting very well exclusivity should be a given because if you are having such a good time with that person why would you want too date anyone else and if you are not having a good time it should end right there because there is no wait and see, you either like me that much or you don't
Well, unless you have had 'the talk,' it is folly to presume anything. That is the cause of so many heartbreaks. Having a great time with someone does not a good romantic and loving relationship make. An exclusive relationship is something that should not be based on assumption. I said, great time, not intimate time.
Exclusivity should never, ever be presumed. Never! It is not something that should be based on just an 'understanding.' How do you know that you are reading her well? Presuming that she wants the same thing is a broken heart waiting to happen.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
29 (
view
)
The Best Stuff to put on an English Muffin
Posted:
9/1/2009 1:32:52 PM
peanut butter and banana toasted in a sandwich maker
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
49 (
view
)
Why is going out with someone your not attracted to a waste of time?
Posted:
7/24/2009 2:54:50 PM
You know OP, I fully agree with you. It's possible that some people whose main goal is intimacy or LTR would judge meeting people according to having an expectation of "scoring" and therefore would consider anything that did not have a promise of this goal, a waste of time.
Most times, when I see a profile that says, "I don't want wasting time" I just don't let him waste my time so I do not respond or I tell him outright, 'I don't want wasting each other's time.' That is one of the profile entry that is a main red flag to me.
I've agreed to meet quite a few POF guys and not one did I say, what a waste of time! Each one had something to offer and though I was disappointed once, it does not mean there was no potential of friendship in that meeting. We are supposed to be social in nature. Not every guy/gal one meets on any occasion is going to be a relationship potential. I suspect that is why some people are prone to being hurt. Then again, it depends on what one's aim is.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
19 (
view
)
Conditional gifts....
Posted:
7/15/2009 6:07:52 AM
No, gifts are gifts. You should not expect them to be returned. But if I were her, I would definitely return them esp. if you have asked for them back. I would not keep anything from an "Indian giver." The thougts that went with them were not valid anyway.
Next time, don't give any gifts. Tell them they are just on loan until you decide they deserve them.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
82 (
view
)
Hey do ya personally know any happily married people in real life?
Posted:
7/3/2009 9:08:35 AM
The marriages end because it seems extremely easy for one (or both) people to get out of it. They believe marriages won't last so they don't. It's a self-fulling prophesy
~~~nick007
Agreed! That's also a factor in many 'living together first,' not going forward to the next level because of that frame of mind and at times it is carried over if they do get married. They think, well, if it doesn't work, we will not go forward. It's half-hearted "we will try" not "we will do it!" That is according to some marriage counsellors.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
74 (
view
)
Hey do ya personally know any happily married people in real life?
Posted:
7/2/2009 9:37:57 PM
Yes, I personally know a number of married couples who are genuinely happily married and I also know some couple whose partnership have passed the expiry date but are just living together miserably.
Or I just happen to live and work around bad examples?
I guess that could be a reason, then again maybe not. ...lol
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
55 (
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Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?
Posted:
7/2/2009 9:24:04 PM
Yes, definitely! And I believe you can even be in love with more than two. But you cannot have a relationship with more than one. I mean a meaningful relationship.
When I was younger, I thought it was not possible to love more than one guy. Now, I know better.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
98 (
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Long vs short hair
Posted:
6/29/2009 1:19:05 PM
I am not into blow-drying my hair. When my hair was long, I dried it naturally. But most of the time, I had to tie it up even when wet because it was too thick and naturally wavy. That caused my dizzy spells, according to my doctor. All the men in my family were against my cutting it. I started wearing it shoulder-length and I think that was the sexiest style I had, mainly because of the compliments.
Now I am wearing it short because I cut and style it myself. I am not comfortable going to the salon due to my allergies. I find short for me is the easiest to maintain. My only regret is that I love wearing hats and somehow I cannot wear all kinds of styles with my short hair. Plus during winter, that extra hair kept me warm.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
70 (
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Long vs short hair
Posted:
6/28/2009 8:12:11 PM
Some women are highly turned on by long hair on men--regardless of where it is located. Maybe you need to let it all hang out.
Thanks for my laugh of the day, Gwen!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
94 (
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How badly do you want to be in love?
Posted:
6/28/2009 6:21:23 PM
I am not really looking to be in love but if it happens, I will welcome it. Looking back, it felt like a fountain of youth. To bathe in it was energizing and rejuvenating. But...
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
27 (
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)
Why am I always the friend?
Posted:
6/28/2009 6:51:32 AM
Do you over-compliment her?
Do you frequently call or text "just to chat?"
Are you ALWAYS available when she wants to talk or go out?
When she shares a problem, do you always try to help her solve it?
~~~studioguy29
Since when did
friend
become a dirty word?
What's wrong with a guy like the above? He maybe considered a friend at first, but eventually he is bound to get the girl. I've met a couple of friends like that and it is easy to get to the next level, so easy...
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
19 (
view
)
Is it possible to look past insecurities
Posted:
6/28/2009 6:38:14 AM
It really depends on what those past insecurities are. However, if the main aim in starting a relationship is to change that person, then, something is wrong here. If the insecurities are so strong, I can smell it a mile away even if I just met him, no, I won't look past that. I would be gone! I have too many things on my plate right now. I support charitable institutions but I am not one!
If on the other hand, he is already a friend, I will be around to support him. In short, it depends. If I have not developed an emotional attachment yet, it will be easy to let go. However, if he is already a friend or a deep relationship has been established, I will be there through thick or thin to support him as long as I am not being asked to be a co-dependent.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
85 (
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)
How has your experience been with POF? Thumbs Up or Down?
Posted:
6/24/2009 11:05:34 PM
I'd say my experience has been
because I am looking for friends and I found many. I just go by 'live and let live.' I've met a few guys who are worth meeting.
The Forum is a great stress reliever. I think if you treat your experience as fun, you won't find your stay at POF a waste. Just treat it as another outlet to meet people and make friends or meet dates. Be discriminate as well as open-minded.
I do not normally initiate contact thus I can understand your frustration. But I find that the guy who is very critical of how he is being received is usually the one who is readily rude and prone to read/delete. I am not referring to you OP, but it is best to have the attitude of treating people the way you want to be treated. If someone gives me a lecture that he wants to meet right away because he does not want to waste time, I do not make him waste time. I simply cancel any idea of meeting. With the exception of one, I have no regrets of meeting the guys I agreed to meet at POF. They have enriched my life.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
72 (
view
)
pic on first date
Posted:
6/23/2009 3:04:44 PM
I definitely would not want my pic taken. He should ask first.
It happened to me before and I told the guy that I am really not into pics, so he put his camera away. End of topic. He never tried it again.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
17 (
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)
When is one too compassionate?
Posted:
6/22/2009 6:45:16 AM
I don't know if you can be too compassionate. Are you saying you drained yourself of all care for yourself and just concentrated on your loved one?
I agree with A.S.is. When you give, do not expect anything in return. If you do, you erase the value of the gift.
My dad used to say, never expect anyone to return a favour. You will be surprised, somewhere along the way, you will receive a hundred fold in return from someone else who you may not even know.
If your question is about being compassionate to someone who does not want to help herself, or is too needy, you may be referring to co-dependency. There are times when tough love is required to make it work.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
14 (
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)
Why do some women and men prefer
Posted:
6/22/2009 4:02:26 AM
Maybe it is not preference per se. Maybe they developed the feelings before they found out that the object of their affection is married or committed to someone else. And it was too late.
As well, the fact a man/woman could reach a certain age and remain single could be a reflection of many things about how he/she handles a relationship or maybe a factor in not attracting the opposite sex who may have different preference. Maybe the fact that they are are confirmed bachelors is a main factor in not attracting those who are looking for a commitment.
Of course I prefer single in a relationship. But that doesn't mean it is going to be a walk in the park.
Some
single people are set on their ways and have difficulty adjusting to having someone share their space or their life. In short, they could be dysfunctional in terms of relationships. They could be unwilling to compromise. They are better left single.
I for one would NEVER be in a relationship with a married man. I am not cut out to be the other woman, something I have been trying to impress upon some married pof guys. Anyone who wants to question my separated status does not know the story.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
9 (
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)
When a man is routinely giving a woman money...
Posted:
6/22/2009 3:35:24 AM
I've met a guy like that who was scammed by a girl in Italy to the tune of $13000. Why? He said he was smitten with her who had a sick mom. When the mom recovered supposedly, she sent her transportation money and she never came.
I cannot understand why some of us are easy prey to such scammers. But then I thought, hopefully, he did not have to borrow money to send her. Hopefully, he could afford to lose all that money by using his small brain.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
26 (
view
)
friends with Benifits growing into more ?
Posted:
6/22/2009 3:12:27 AM
Yes, I think it is starting to go that way. He is treating your relationship as if a commitment is
understood!
You have to enlighten him if you do not agree. People can jump to conclusion and unless you don't want it to happen, you have to be blunt! Or talk to him and discuss what you are to each other. After 8 years, his feelings are bound to change. If this is what you want, clear it up with him before you presume that things have changed.
I usually notice it when a platonic friend suddenly talks to me as if we have a deeper relationship and acts like I am his woman. Women are not stupid. He would give me gifts and contact me often. Or ask me to a family gathering or worst, to couples gathering. lol And when I decline and say, 'But we are not a couple. It says here, girl friend or wife.' He would say, but we are...
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
69 (
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)
SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted:
6/20/2009 7:46:13 PM
My take on this is that you don't have to be an open book. There are things that do not concern a casual acquaintance or the general public. It is not a lie or an omission unless you are asked and you do not answer with the truth. But to include some things in the profile in the name of honesty is completely pointless. When you have met each other and there is a serious chance that you are interested in each other, then that is the time to divulge more than what is asked for in the profile. Other than that, it is none of anybody's business.
If truth means you have to tell your whole story in your profile, I don't think it is necessary. When you start getting to know each other, then it is up to you. As long as the basic things are in the profile. My policy is to listen to information that is voluntarily given. I do not probe. I think there is no reason to play detective more esp. if you are just starting to know each other.
Or are you asking if we have to tell the truth in the Forums? Of course, otherwise, why participate? We don't have to be in a discussion if we are not speaking the truth.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
12 (
view
)
Favorites lists?
Posted:
6/20/2009 1:54:03 PM
People who are on my fav list, I can count in my fingers in one hand. I have no control how many have me on their lists. So, I don't bother looking at the number a guy is on people's lists. But I sort of have some speculation why some guys are on many fav lists and why some girls are on many fav lists. I seldom initiate contact so it is none of my business.
I do delete myself from anyone who has me on their fav list but exhibit extreme rudeness. The others do not bother to contact me. The others remove me if they did not like what I said in the Forums or simply because I say I do not believe in meeting immediately after saying hi or they suddenly realized that I am separated (as I said in my profile), not divorced as they have presumed. All sorts of things. The list does not mean much to me unless it is my own fav list.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
51 (
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)
Approaching 30 and still single ....
Posted:
6/19/2009 5:15:19 PM
I'm turning 30 in October and feel under immense pressure not to be single when the big day arrives! Help!!! Can u officially be called a spinster if you are 30 and single???? I don't want to come across as a complete desperado!!!
So, you are single and 30. Would you rather be 30 and divorced? Take your time and don't be pushed into marriage.
I remember when I was single, I was in a lot of pressure to get married. And majority of these were from people who were unhappily married. But they nagged me and nagged me and made me feel as if I was incomplete because I was single. I was in my early twenties then and furthering my studies.
Don't pay attention to them. Get married only when you are ready and you know you are sure that you want to get married.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
51 (
view
)
How many messages do POF women get a day ?
Posted:
6/19/2009 9:43:50 AM
Why is it that some people think if they are talking to you, you or they are off limits to others? Where did this ruling come from? It is premature!
It is not a game! You are both establishing communication and trying to see if you want more of it. But to suddenly be put in a position where you are supposed to have given your commitment to be talking to only one person...Simply heartbreak waiting to happen!
Unless both parties make an agreement to be exclusive, there is nothing going on. You are not a couple yet! You have to have the talk. Don't base anything on just an understanding. You have to establish the fact that you are both off limits.
Regardless of how many messages one gets, just because someone replied to you does not indicate that she is obligated to
only
talk to you. Jeez! That is why I am seriously thinking of read/deleted as well, rather than replying just to be polite. Chances are someone will give more serious meaning to it. Then, they pay you back with rudeness. It is frustrating on both sides but the reality is, nothing worthwhile is going to be accomplished by presuming things.
This is not a lottery that the number has no choice but to belong to you and you are the winner if you pick it. This involves two people and though we have to follow social graces to belong in a society, just talking means nothing serious unless both agree and actually spell it out that they are going to be exclusive. Wake up!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
43 (
view
)
Question Concerning Body Type, Smoking or Religion?
Posted:
6/17/2009 11:15:01 PM
Smoker?
We can be friends, but I doubt there will be any serious relationship. You see, I am highly allergic to first, 2nd and third hand smoke. I am not kidding! Getting together will be almost impossible if you think it is just an excuse.
Body Type
Ok, yeah, it is a dealbreaker for me. It is self-explanatory.
Religion
You don't have to be a Catholic but I definitely would not appreciate your attacking my religion. One of the few impossible things is to convert me to another religion.
But I can promise you I am not a bible thumper.
So yes, although those three do matter, there are also other preferences that do and it is folly to think that they will not be any consideration even if I have accidentally fallen madly in love with you.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
21 (
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)
The challenge of finding 'THE ONE...
Posted:
6/17/2009 1:35:30 PM
Yes, OutMind~~~
So my advice is one, do not look for the one. Find people, learn about them, have fun. But when one of these people hit you in an awesome way, give yourself the chance, even if it may lead to you getting hurt. Just do it.
I completely agree! But in between not meeting the one who 'hits you in an awesome way,' someone accuses you of
not
being a serious member.
POF for example.
My problem with websites like this is there are some people who really think you wrote your profile, with them in mind, and proceed accordingly. It could have a positive or negative effect but all the goodness you find in the website is somehow drowned by some miniscule sad experience.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
34 (
view
)
An error in judgment, and a new version of a previous topic.
Posted:
6/16/2009 3:20:52 PM
As goofy as it always sounds, it's seldom that you find who you're looking for by doing exhaustive searching/investing. More often than not, someone really does come into your life out of the blue in the most unusual way - which is usually when you're not looking.
~~~chameleonf
Could not have said it better!
I don't believe I am consciously investing. I cannot honestly say I started making deposits so love will come around in return. But if it happens, it is manna from heaven.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
16 (
view
)
So I met this girl...
Posted:
6/16/2009 1:42:43 PM
Tell you what~ She does not know what she wants and she is taking you for granted.
I think she is aware of your attachment to her.
You must care a lot about her. So I suggest not to burn the bridges. Just play it by ear. Let her make the first move. Don't contact her unless she does. Try to reign in your feelings for her. Just be friends with her. Let her get rid of all the drama and when she calms down, tell her what is in your heart and that you want to know how she feels about you. Be firm and tell her you have been patient with her but you are not a yo-yo. You are ready to move on if she is not ready for you. Then do it!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
20 (
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)
Confused: woman shows Long Term profile but isn't looking!?!?
Posted:
6/9/2009 9:36:55 PM
Face it man, there's a ton of women on here who have absolutely no desire to date someone, they just like men contacting them on here to boost their self esteem.
Not necessarily true. They may want to date someone but
not you!
So, if they decline to meet you, it does not mean they do not want to meet anyone else.
It's nothing to do with boosting their self-esteem. They have the desire to meet, but not that particular person asking to meet. So if they are corresponding with you, they are not necessarily interested in meeting each and everyone they correspond with or everyone who ask to meet them. So, if their profile shows LTR, it does not mean it applies to you! This is when people get offended. Do not presume anything. The profile was not created with you in mind.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
3 (
view
)
Profile Review Request - Thanks
Posted:
6/9/2009 8:50:56 PM
I don't see anything wrong with the body of your profile. Maybe a little typo. Your pics are fine. Put the other pic (#5 from left) where your face is more zoomed out. That shows a different you. Try that.
Oh, you have not mentioned anything about what/who you are looking for.
Good luck
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
118 (
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Shocked! how can someone be so demoralising!
Posted:
6/9/2009 4:24:20 PM
Isn't it silly to let your panties get in a bunch over one persons profile and their preferences?
~~~lonesomerick
OP, worry more about people who write that way. ^^^And demoralized because of a profile or something in a website. Why oh why?
Believe me OP, there are people at POF, men and women, who are not as shallow as that profile you read but are actually real friends or SO materials. I know, I have met them. The trick is spend more time on those who deserve your attention. Zilch time on those who do not!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
84 (
view
)
Horrific Habits and Other Deal Breakers
Posted:
6/2/2009 8:56:28 PM
I dated someone who had a three year old boy. There were times when I wondered if he thought of me as a child when he ticked the end of my nose with his fingers or pressed the top of my head with his knuckle. He always managed to spoil my hairdo with this childish playfulness. A real turn off! Tried to tickle me too after I got off from his car. He said he expected me to hug him when he did that.
All he had to do was hug me first and he would have gotten a hug. Jeez!
Why didn't she just squat down on ya & pee to mark her territory?
~~~ crittersitter
LOL!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
39 (
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)
How long would you stay with someone that doesn't stop doubting you?
Posted:
6/1/2009 12:26:30 PM
Not a second longer! If he does not trust me and unrelentlessly questions my intentions, and he has no reasonable grounds to do so, I would pack up and leave the situation and anyone that has anything to do with it. Why should I stay? I am not a masochist.
Fortunately, you are not married yet. Don't even think of marriage with her. But why are you still with her btw?
Be fair. If you do not comprehend her insecurity, analyze your actions and act accordingly. The problem may not necessarily rest wholly on her lap. Good luck!
Edit: way to go in editing your profile as single/not looking
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
25 (
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)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ?
Posted:
5/31/2009 8:57:58 AM
Why, oh why did you agree to let her move in? Should have let her stay in her own abode, imperfect as it may seem until you have grown a few inches taller in wisdom. You have been hanging out with users who disguised themselves as friends. Could be caused also by your lackadaisical attitude as projected by your profile.
Next time, use the big brain. The small brain is one-tracked minded. Be more discriminate. Don't use you height as an excuse to lower the bar. Aim to have more self-worth and stop settling for just anyone or you will continue to have history repeat itself.
Building a relationship takes time. Avoid this 'living together' rush simply because of a housing problem or economic strait. It should only be done when you are both really committed to be with each other. Never allow other factors to push you into taking this easy course. It is a trouble magnet when entered into without any foresight. Good luck!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
150 (
view
)
is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted:
5/28/2009 9:18:08 PM
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it. However, if your great lady minds, then you should get out of this site or discuss it with her and make some compromises.
If you are into the Forums, it is something that you would normally do if you are participating in a thread. I simply don't see why it would be disrespectful to your gf unless she is not happy with your surfing profiles. Then you must discuss this with her.
I surf profiles too because I am curious and some profiles are very entertaining.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
26 (
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)
Positive Words of Wisdom or Advice To New Fishers From Those Who Are Already Here
Posted:
5/19/2009 2:38:47 PM
Oh no! Another list? What is with these lists in this site? Is it rocket science?
Just write a profile about yoursef, in well structured English; shorter than an essay of course. Write about you, your interests and about what you are looking for and what it is that you like about the other person. Then treat everyone as you would want to be treated. Meet only those of whom you have positive vives and after a few insights into the person. That means long after you have said/exchanged hi's.
Then let fate take its course.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
29 (
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)
and jesus said... let them that are free...
Posted:
5/18/2009 7:30:57 PM
A.S.is at it, as usual.
<div class="quote">OK I don't get it .. did JC add you to his faves and not send the 'obligatory' note?? lol ..
ah well OP - we all have our cross to bear..
Ok, here is what Jesus said according to google:
<div class="quote">The Bible says that Jesus Christ said:
Matthew chapter 5 (NLT)
"You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye - even if it is your good eye - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand - even if it is your stronger hand - causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
34 (
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Dating rules or comfort zone?
Posted:
5/15/2009 9:11:26 AM
Dating rules? What are those? Never followed one, I think. I just go by my instinct and the way I am. And the situation. Let's just say, as in any chemical reaction, there are many factors that produce a certain result. So, I have never really stuck to specific rules or a particular rule. In short, I am not aware of any list I follow.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
49 (
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I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted:
5/13/2009 8:44:10 AM
I know a woman that would be perfect for you and she more then meets your requirements. The problem is, you don't meet hers...
~~~The Rock Man
BINGO!
Precisely what I wanted to say. A woman normally is married/have been married long before she reaches your age and though professionally successful, may also have children and if by any chance she was single and a clone of yours, would definitely also have her own requirements which you may NOT meet. So, is she asking too much? What about the IT factor? How can you guarantee you are going to be compatible?
This reminds me when I met what I thought was my ideal man. There simply was no ooomph, no chemistry, try as I did! And he was not even a clone of myself...
But he fitted the requirements I have set for myself since I started becoming aware that I was attracted to 'guys.'
Being alike does not guarantee a fit!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
30 (
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Initial messages
Posted:
5/10/2009 10:13:24 PM
I usually respond to messages unless they are rude or crude. However, people who actually research on what I say in my profile and honestly show interest, get my attention. I seldom initiate contact. If I do, it is a spur of the moment when somehow I have to amuse myself.
One time the smile of the guy was just contagious that I had to send an IM. Or it has something to do with the Viewed Me button. And some guys do not like any reference to the fact that they did view a profile. But all is good. Just say something that indicates you are respectful, friendly or sincere and you will get a reply. Of course, it all depends on the goal of the person making the first contact.
Someone who asks "Do you do ...? " or "have you dated...?" referring to ethnicity, is a no brainer. It gets read/deleted immediately! Same as, "Reply if you want us to go forward." Huh?
It really depends on how the introduction is written. Just be positive. Although hello and hi are not negative, they just are lazy intros. May work in person but I doubt it is effective in an e-mail. Be imaginative and creative. I appreciate that it is harder for men as normally they have to initiate contacts but surely if you have been on this for a while... Well, good luck!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
111 (
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Do you hesitate to contact someone with zero roses left?
Posted:
5/8/2009 8:52:45 PM
She is not the only misfortunate who has posted this veiled next-morning regret.
~~~whytwater
LOL! Veiled? Nope! Guess what? Because of the experience, I actually sent the other rose to the same guy, this time intentionally and it became a joke that I thought he deserved a testimonial, so he has my testimonial for the heck of it! That's how I corrected my mistake.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
4 (
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Am I crazy???????
Posted:
5/7/2009 10:28:52 PM
I think you did the right thing. He does not know what he wants or he is just not that into you. Stay away from him. If he is not ready for anyone to be in love with him yet wants you to be his gf, what is he ready for? Move on! Don't waste your time on him.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
28 (
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flirting by text message
Posted:
5/7/2009 10:21:05 PM
I am not into texting. As a matter of fact, anyone who texts me will definitely not receive a reply. So, flirting by text will be a lost venture with me. So, naturally I wonder why anyone would hide behind a text. Say what you want to say in person or if not, at least be serious and use the phone!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
105 (
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Do you hesitate to contact someone with zero roses left?
Posted:
5/7/2009 10:07:40 PM
Well, first I am not in the habit of initiating contact. When I do, that is an exception. It's usually out of curiousity or just one of the things I myself cannot explain. And since I have accidentally sent a rose or two, I really don't pay much attention to them.
Some people send me roses and I have never put any meaning to them. They are just virtual, people. They can say all kinds of things, maybe I love you or whatever, with the roses, but honestly, who cares? Even on Valentine's Day, virtual roses are meaningless to me. So, the presence or absence of a rose is one thing that will not influence me to do anything I would not do otherwise.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
103 (
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Why R they so Critical?
Posted:
5/4/2009 12:32:41 PM
My opinion did not need “more orange”
~~~frau blücher
Funny, but from reading the exchanges, that is exactly my observation. The very example of what OP's thread is about. You are too sensitive coming up next?
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
9 (
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Cheesy Shepards Pie!!!
Posted:
5/2/2009 2:05:24 PM
What is a swede? I know the kind you kiss but what is the kind you cook?
~~~outofthedessert
My preference, definitely!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
74 (
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Why R they so Critical?
Posted:
5/2/2009 1:47:11 PM
And why the heck do they have to be so critical?
And why the heck do I let it bother me?
OP, you know I have thought about that a thousand times. I am responding without reading the other posts. I used to date a guy who I have assisted a lot in his business using my abilities. And guess where he hit me with criticism? Yes, yet followed my a professional advice when it concerned his money-making ventures. And used my expertise, gratis!
Why he was so critical? That is the field that would make him admit my talent and if he is a mysogynist, that is the best way to cut me down.
Why it bothers me? Because I am human and it bothers me that he is trying to break down my self-confidence. So, I did the best thing for me. If I cannot get his support the way I give him mine, why are we together? So, we are not! One of my best decisions.
I think OP, you have an unhealthy creative/professional rivalry. Sometimes it helps both to be the best of what they can become. But it is detrimental to a good relationship if one person is not working to be better than HIMSELF but rather he is striving to be in YOUR eyes, better than YOU. Yet, not working towards improving himself but instead cutting you down to look and appear better than you.
He wants to feel superior.
I have a big problem with people who do not want equality but instead, the overpowering of the other. That is not what relationship is about.
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
93 (
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A question for the ladies
Posted:
5/2/2009 10:39:03 AM
Then you accuse the poor guy of cheating.. Maybe this man is simply asking for some advice here?????
~~~chemistry74
Yes, the poor guy is just asking advice...and 'intimate encounter'
The latter alone screams "cheating..."
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
13 (
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Would you move to another are or country because you loved someone from there
Posted:
4/26/2009 7:13:12 PM
Yes, and I have. I am in Toronto, aren't I?
But I don't think I would ever do that again. Never!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
12 (
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A question for the ladies
Posted:
4/25/2009 9:05:57 AM
Well, if she is aware that you are at POF to look for intimate encounter, I can understand the reaction from her. As well, she may really be tired from all the housework...Do you help in any of it? Communication is vital.
Given the fact that you have boldly stated that your goal is intimate encounter, I suspect there has been cheating somewhere. Marriage counselling and some suggested, medical check ups. Marriage is hard work. You both need to keep your relationship alive and vibrant. And it takes two!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
21 (
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Is there any situation that you would accept rude/impolite/unkindness from someone you were dating?
Posted:
4/24/2009 11:57:32 PM
Actually, no, if I was dating him. I probably would make allowances if we had a closer relationship. But to accept unkindness from a date, no, definitely not!
enchanted107
Joined:
12/10/2007
Msg:
27 (
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Is he just joking or is really just being mean?
Posted:
4/24/2009 11:42:13 PM
I do not appreciate people whose pastime is to cut someone down and hide behind a supposed joke or sarcasm. No buts about it, he was being mean. Don't be intimidated if he accuse you of lacking sense of humour. There is really no reason for people to be insulting whether they claim it as a joke. If he is insensitive and tactless, why would you want to be around him? It's a red flag. Get rid of him.
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