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Thread: Should couples SHARE an e-mail address?

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Should couples SHARE an e-mail address? Posted: 1/30/2008 8:37:19 AM
Couples talk, it's only natural. You should automatically assume that anything you say in confidence to a friend could be repeated to their significant other if they have been together for a long time. I disagree! If you tell your friend something in confidence, it is not thiers to share, with anyone. It's YOUR business! You are supposed to be able to trust your friends to keep your secrets. So, she lets her husband read her e-mail, and then he goes to the office and mentions it to one of his buddies, and so on and so forth. It was supposed to stop with your FRIEND. It was personal! What happens is, that your friend doesn't confide in you anymore once this happens. Trust is broken! And your significant other should never do anything to come between you and your friends. This causes hard feelings and leads to more problems.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 231 (view)

18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man? Posted: 1/30/2008 8:16:23 AM
I'm surprised her parents even let her go through with the ceremony! Don't think this one will last... If she is 18, there isn't anything her parents could do about it. She is of legal age to make all her own decisions. If it is a mistake, is's her mistake. Age isn't often the deciding factor in whether a relatioship works or not. Maybe they have a lot more in common that the outside eye can see.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Should couples SHARE an e-mail address? Posted: 1/30/2008 8:07:56 AM
I just don't think that these couples that are sharing a single e-mail address really consider how thier friends feel about it. I think that makes their friends feel like they lost a confidant. As someone above wrote, what are you going to talk about, cookie recipes? You all are probably right! I never even should have given up my password! I would not ask someone for thiers.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Should couples SHARE an e-mail address? Posted: 1/30/2008 7:58:32 AM
Well it wasn't my idea to exchange passwords, it was his, and I never spyed on him. Occasionally, if I was at the computer, he would ask me to check and see if he had any mail. But I never opened any of it. OR vise versa.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Should couples SHARE an e-mail address? Posted: 1/30/2008 7:54:14 AM
I did a search where I put E-MAIL in the box and did not find this question asked anywhere. So why would it be redundant? I just want to find out what other people think about it.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Should couples SHARE an e-mail address? Posted: 1/30/2008 7:48:03 AM
I personally don't think that the rules should change because you are in cyber space. If your significant other got a letter from their old friend or cousin or whoever, and it was addressed specifically to THEM, would you open it? If you did, I think it would be rude and an invasion of thier privacy and also an invasion of the sender's privacy. Perhaps the sender had a personal matter to discuss and didn't want anyone else to know about it? I've had this happen to me... I sent a letter to a friend, someone I trust and confide in, and the next thing I know, their boyfriend or husband has read my letter. I then feel like I can no longer trust or confide in this person anymore. It changes your friendship. That is just not right. What I have done with past relationships is: Keep our e-mail addresses, but exchange passwords. That is a sign of trust. But then, never go into your significant other's mailbox without thier knowledge and permission. I just recently wrote to a mutual friend of mine and my boyfriend's, and his girlfriend, who just moved in, answered my e-mail. She was nice enough, but SHE was not the one I was writing to. It seems that she had started answering ALL his e-mail, which pissed him off and he changed his password and did not share it with her! IMO, that was a clear violation of trust, and a total invasion of his personal space. Just because two people become a couple, that does not mean they stop being individuals with personal friends that trust and confide in them. Or used to! I'd like some views on this.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

A penetration challenge... Posted: 1/29/2008 8:14:30 PM
Fornication is a sin - lust is too so not sure how he is working his thoughts. Exactly what I was thinking. Hmmm, seems as though I remember seduceing a young "preacher in training" with that argument once! Is one sin worse than another? If god is knocking points off for pre-marital sexual intercourse, wonder how many points get knocked off for oral sex? Definitely a lustful and un-christian sort of thing to do. Intercourse should not really be that much worse! Right??? You said you wanted double penetration, have you offered the back door? No wait... according to the bible, that's sodomy, and definitely a sin. Here's what to do! You tell him that all of it is sinful, and that if he doesn't want to have sexual intercourse, then you are not going to do ANY of it! No getting off for him! Something tells me you wouldn't have to wait long, since he's used to all that lovin'.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

What is a date, really ....? Posted: 1/27/2008 5:23:54 PM
The good thing about the internet is that you can find out what things you have in common BEFORE the date. All those simple questions like, "Do you work? D0 you go to school? What do you like doing?" should already be out of the way. The way to make good conversation is to talk about the things you both have in common, or things you would like to do, things you have done (don't talk about ex-wives/girlfriends), or your plans for the future.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

How far in advance should you make plans? Posted: 1/27/2008 5:17:37 PM
It seems to me that most people here are saying that you need to play head games with him. I disagree! I don't think you need to 'do this' or 'do that' to make him wonder if you will have time for him. I think you need to handle it like an adult and COMMUNICATE. Let him know what you expect, find out what he expects, be willing to compromise a little. Work it out!

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Sex at someone else's house... Posted: 1/27/2008 5:05:00 PM
Ah hell, I'll do it anywhere he wants to,,,,as long as we dont offend anyone. If that means in the bathroom at grandmas, so be it. When you are in a serious relationship, you end up having sex anywhere and everywhere. That's funny, cause I have actually done that before! Hey, that is the perfect spot if you wanna clean up after yourself! I'll bet a lot of people have! You just have to be careful who sees you come out! LOL!

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

Waiting for sex... a woman's problem... Posted: 1/27/2008 4:52:35 PM
Well, for those of you wanting to know how my weekend went... I got laid!!! ALRIGHT!!! He came to my house, (his idea), and I was sure that he wouldn't even try. Boy was I wrong! He was exceptionally affectionate all day Saturday, and I was affectionate also, but didn't really think it would lead anywhere. Again... WRONG! When I got into bed, he was kissing me, very passionately, (and I just had on a tee shirt) wasn't even trying to be sexy, and the TV was on, and it seemed we both just tuned everything out, and things just happened naturally, (boy was he hard). Oh, and again the next moring! He didn't seem bothered that there were other people there, and normally, I don't like to do it with the TV on, but I just totally tuned it out! I don't understand what happened to change things. Maybe enough time has passed that he feels comfortable here now. Maybe it was mental. Maybe the TV noise made him less self conscious about US making noise. Maybe he just got horny as hell after 3 months! Anyway, the equipment functioned fine and I was totally satisfyed. Ok, let me hear your opinions on why YOU think everything seems fine NOW...

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Waiting for sex... a woman's problem... Posted: 1/25/2008 8:00:53 PM
'Some (most?) of the ED issues are directly related to lifestyle. Is he overweight? A smoker? A drinker? Does he think exercise means moving from the dining table to the couch? I really want him to go to the doctor, but I am leaning toward thinking it is a mental thing. I think he may need to see a psychologist or counselor of some sort. He doesn't do ANYTHING that might lead to ED. He does not drink or smoke at all. He is not overweight, well, he could stand to lose maybe the little belly, but he looks good and is in good physical shape. He also gets plenty of exercise and is generally very energetic. He is not on ANY medication. He doesn't even like to take Tylenol!

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Waiting for sex... a woman's problem... Posted: 1/25/2008 2:16:33 PM
The first thing you have to do is determine if he physically can achieve an erection at this point in time. This is usually done through the postage stamp test. Basically you put a strip of postage stamps around his penis before going to sleep. Men will typically have 2-4 erections during the night when they sleep. If he wakes in the morning the the band of postage stamps has been broken (remember, you have to lick and glue the overlap stamp), then he can achieve an erection, so the problem is mental, not physcial. He says he wakes up with an erection in the middle of the night sometimes, and has one when he first wakes up some mornings. However, he said that while alone at his home during the week, he rented some porn movies that normally would have got him aroused, and tried to arouse himself, but could not achieve an erection. (I told him he better wake me up if he gets that 'middle of the night erection!) So... I think he would pass the postage stamp test, but he let me know that even when he is not at my house, in the privace of his own home, with porn, it didn't happen! So, what does that mean??? Hey, at least I know it's not ME! LOL!

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

How far in advance should you make plans? Posted: 1/25/2008 1:43:38 PM
If you two are serious, I think he should want to spend the weekend nights with you, since that is the only time you two have together. Spending the night at his Mom's or brother's was fine... when he was single! He should want to get the alone in bed time with you. Here's what I think should happen. You should designate at least one night as date night, either Friday or Saturday. I recommend Saturday if he is tired when he gets off work on Fridays. Then, if he just has to see his mama every weekend, then he should designate either Saturday afternoon or Sunday afternoon to VISIT her. That is way more than a lot of moms get from their adult children with lives of their own! And I think he could include you, if you wanted to go. Now, after you have this schedule in place, then you can expect him to show up on Fridays. If, for some reason he can't make it, then he needs to let you know as soon as possible, so you can make other plans. The only planning you should have to do is to figure out where you wanna go on your date night.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Posting Quotes From Several Posts In One Reply... Posted: 1/25/2008 10:31:53 AM
OK, thanks! I understand that much better! Gonna try it! Alright!!! I mastered the technique! Thank you so much. I used Wordpad!

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Posting Quotes From Several Posts In One Reply... Posted: 1/25/2008 9:55:12 AM
Ok, thanks, but I know how to post a quote from one post. What I don't understand is how to get the quotes from several posts and put them all in one relpy. How do I go back and forth?

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Posting Quotes From Several Posts In One Reply... Posted: 1/25/2008 9:41:22 AM
Can someone tell me how to post quotes from several different posts? I tryed clicking on reply, posting the first quote, then clicking back, and getting the next one, but the first one is gone when I do that!

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Waiting for sex... a woman's problem... Posted: 1/25/2008 9:36:54 AM
Posted: 1/24/2008 1027 PM take it easy on him... do not be judgemental.... i dont think any type of pressure will help... (this might be part of the problem.. pressure lol ) The problem is simple and easy to understand. Because he failed to perform, he is afraid that he cannot get an erection. If a guy is afraid that he cannot get an erection, then he will be unable to and you can take that to the bank. What you need to do is to visit for a weekend or several days and tell him that you want to sleep with him and cuddle but that you are not going to have sex. That will remove the pressure on him to perform. Once the pressure is removed, he will not be afraid. Therefore, he will become sexually excited and you will end up having sex. There is NO pressure. We have talked about it, when HE brings it up. He says he is going to the doctor, but has not been yet. I have tried everything listed above. Still, no erection! I think that the reason he keeps wanting to come to my house, instead of his, is that he has an excuse here. (Not enough privacy!) But I have been downright wonderful about it!!! And it is very difficult. I said that sex is on my mind all the time now, but I don't tell HIM that! I've tried very hard NOT to make him feel bad about it, but it's driving me nuts! I came right out and told him that if he just doesn't feel the chemistry or attraction, to just tell me and we can be friends. But he says that is not it and that he wants to be in a relationship with just me, and vise versa.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

sex on a 1st date Posted: 1/24/2008 9:52:57 PM
I would not, unless I already knew the person. Otherwise, you are basically having sex with a stranger.

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Waiting for sex... a woman's problem... Posted: 1/24/2008 9:47:50 PM
I have a unique problem. I did a thread search on waiting for sex, and most everyone is talking about the first time. And mostly it's men waiting for women. Here's my problem... I started dating this guy, (we're both in our 40's) and I got to the point that I was ready for a committment and sex... so I went to his house (an hour away) and spent the weekend. We got off to a slow start, meaning, he didn't get hard right away. I attributed that to nerves, because the rest of the weekend was mind-blowing, great sex. He did everything right, I had multiple orgasms, curled my toes, etc. Anyway, so here's the problem... the next weekend, he came to my house. (My mother and son live with me, but my bedroom is at the other end of the house), we went to bed, and he totally couldn't get it up, no matter what I did. He said it was because of my mother and son being in the house. So, we went to sleep! 3 months later... for some reason or the other, we have not managed to be in a house alone, and he won't even try. He admitted to me that he thinks he may have an ED problem, but that it has not ever happened before. Hmmmm! He has not been to a doctor yet though. Every other aspect of our relationship is good. But all I have is the memory of that great weekend, and no sex for 3 months. It's gotten to the point that sex is on my mind all the time. I just want to know how long you good people would wait in this situation. Any advise. What would you do?

Joined: 12/10/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Sex at someone else's house... Posted: 1/24/2008 9:21:43 PM
I definitely would, if we had privacy. I wouldn't ask though! I'd just be quiet and neat and hope nobody knew!

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