Plentyoffish is amazing chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Plentyoffish is amazing

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Plentyoffish is amazing Posted: 9/24/2008 12:50:36 PM
Yeah....right. Rolling my eyes and gagging at the mental picture....But hey, what are the odds that 2 totally delusional, needy, clingy people will find each other? I give it a month, tops.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 330 (view)

for the ladies....can you TRULY say money ain't a factor? Posted: 9/23/2008 6:36:16 PM
Being financially independent on my own, I can say money isn't a factor for me. But the guy needs to make enough money to pay his own bills, not live in his parents' basement, and not have a boatload of debt. That way, we're on an equal footing.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 664 (view)

People who just write how are you Posted: 9/23/2008 6:24:29 PM
I agree, that's pretty annoying, and it's just plain BORING. That's the conversation I'd have with the guy person that's taking my order at Starbucks, no imagination necessary...

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 560 (view)

does anyone get as turned off with a smoker as i do? Posted: 9/22/2008 6:38:38 PM
Smoking is gross and an absolute deal-breaker, in my opinion. Yuck.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Wanted - Great first Date Ideas. Posted: 9/17/2008 3:18:47 PM
A tennis playdate, bowling, or mini-golf. You can make side bets, (If you make a strike or a hole-in-one, the other person has to buy you a drink, ) Or just grab some food and go sit in the park, take the dog for a walk, do some people-watching, etc. An art fair is fun, you get an idea of their tastes. Or a free concert in the park or whatever. We have free "Shakespeare in the park" where I live...

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 316 (view)

What have you learned from online dating ? Posted: 9/17/2008 3:02:45 PM
That most (but not all, so don't bash me on this) guys think of THEIR kids as "their kids" and WOMEN'S kids as "baggage".... And that you can be nice, funny, cute, and charming, dress well, and offer to pay for your own dinner, but if you're in your 40's, good luck to you, because most of the guys in your age group are looking to date someone half their age due to their mid-life crisis, I guess. Just my observations...

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 245 (view)

Why won't Women Date Nice Romantic Overweight Gentlemen Posted: 9/17/2008 2:48:59 PM
Maybe they're afraid you're not healthy? And if you think the weight is the problem, why not do something about it?

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 828 (view)

Do you believe that there are some Good Men left ? Posted: 9/17/2008 2:33:39 PM
We believe they're out there somewhere, we're just having a hell of a hard time finding them....

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 124 (view)

Playing it SAFE.. Would you consider having a life time partner that you knew you could never love. Posted: 9/15/2008 1:43:12 PM
I personally wouldn't do this, though I've had opportunities to. Just couldn't do it to them, or to myself, had to hold out for "the one I couldn't wait to get home to." Never regretted not settling for less. But my husband's brother did this, stayed married to her for 10 years before he finally woke up and realized that at the end of his life, no one was going to pin a medal on him for living his life with someone he never loved in the first place, and that life is to short to be that miserable. (Of course, he learned that after his brother (my husband) died suddenly at the age of 45.) So after being married to her for 10 years, and living as roommates/platonic friends and never consummating their marriage, he finally filed for divorce.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

How Long Would You Like To See That First Message Be? Posted: 9/15/2008 1:19:12 PM
It needs to be longer than just "Hi" in the subject line, and "How are you?" in the message. Say something interesting, or comment on the profile or the picture, so we know you took the time to read it. And make it shorter than "War and Peace". Just my opinion--if I get sent a message that just says "How are you, I read/delete. This person is going to be hard to talk to.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

What do you think is the hardest part of dating? Posted: 8/27/2008 5:03:46 PM
I am personally finding that the hardest part of dating is the fact that many people don't seem to treat people with any respect, honesty, or integrity. The main example I have of this are the guys who ask me for my phone number and then never call, they just fall off the planet, lapse into a coma, or have a horrible lawn- mower accident that severs all of their fingers. I don' t know if they were led to believe that this approach is actually more "polite" or "pc" than actually having the guts to say, "Sorry, but I'm just not that into you." or what, but I think it's just plain rude. If they weren't going to call, they shouldn't ask for the phone # in the first place, in my opinion...

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Fried Salmon? Posted: 8/15/2008 11:45:06 AM
For one thing, salmon is more expensive, so if you're going to fry it, I guess the thing to do would be to use a cheaper fish. But here's an idea that goes one better than frying it--you coat it in the bread crumbs, then bake it in a 400 degree oven for 10-12 minutes or so (depends on size and thickness)--still tastes great and gets a crispy crust, but with no frying and no oily mess to clean up! I haven't done this with salmon, only catfish, but it is great!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Have you ever done this? Fess up! Posted: 8/15/2008 5:45:12 AM
No, I have never purposely given anyone a "doctored" recipe! That would never cross my mind, but I know some people who are very over-protective about stuff like that. Seriously, in the big scheme of things, that is so petty it's ridiculous!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 151 (view)

Anyone got back with their EX before?? Posted: 8/14/2008 9:44:53 AM
Nope, I can honestly say I never have gotten back with an ex. To me that would just be too much drama. If we broke up, there was a reason. We just weren't meant to be. Moved on. Period.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

where do the people who are REALLY ready go? Posted: 8/11/2008 5:22:26 PM
Spiritual, how far are you from Huntsville? My brother-in-law lives there and he is an absolute sweetheart!!!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Do people really have time to date?? Posted: 8/11/2008 5:16:36 PM
Some do, some don't. Especially true for those with kids at home. But if the right people meet at the right time, they make the time to date. One disastrous date from here couldn't be bothered to turn his cell phone off and it rang 3 times during a coffee meeting (our first meeting!) And it was business, and he took all 3 calls--with the explanation that he couldn't let it go to voice mail and call them back. By the 3rd call, I figured, "He doesn't have half an hour he can give up for me with no business?" 3 strikes, you're out. I told him it was obvious that he was waayyy too busy to date anyone, at least that was the impression it left.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Moving on Posted: 6/27/2008 3:10:18 PM
I have been widowed for just over 3 years now, and I feel like I'm moving on. However, some of the so-called "men" I've met have told me I should be "over it" by now, (it's obvious they have no idea what it feels like to lose the love of your life or they wouldn't say anything so insensitive, right?) and they seem to be very threatened by the idea that my husband will always have a place in my heart and I will never forget him or "get over" him. Unfortunately, in this age group, there aren't many widowers who get how this feels, only divorced people who don't really realize there is more than enough room in my heart for more than one person. Having said that, it took me till age 33 to find my wonderful husband, and he was well worth waiting for. So, knowing that it could take quite a while to meet someone just as wonderful in their own ways, I figured I better get "back in the game" while still young enough to do so. No luck so far, but at least I'm experiencing enough funny stories about disastrous dates to keep my friends, family, and co-workers entertained for a long time! Hazyview, I feel your pain, and I am sorry for your loss. God bless, and take care.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring? Posted: 3/26/2008 3:08:33 PM
My husband passed away almost 3 years ago, and I still wear mine almost every day. Unless I'm going on a date or going somewhere where I might meet someone to date, like a party...

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 155 (view)

Get a grip of the reality of your age Posted: 3/26/2008 3:03:02 PM
From what I've been able to observe, I have a very firm grip on the reality of my age (46), the problem is that guys my age want to date women half their age due to their midlife crisis, (they already had a wife their own age, and usually dumped her and the kids), and so the guys that are interested in dating women my age are old enough to be my dad, which I'm not interested in, due to the fact that we won't have much in common, and I'm not really into the whole "Anna Nicole Smith" thing--taking care of some old guy for a couple of years till he drops dead and leaves his money to his kids for me to fight over. No thanks. Maybe I should date young studly guys looking for a sugar mama!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

We'll have to go do that sometime Posted: 3/26/2008 2:50:37 PM
At least you get that much out of them! I usually get, "We'll have to go play tennis sometime." and then they ask for my number, and I give it, along with the explanation that I hate it when guys ask for my number and then don't call, and then of course, they don't call! *Insert shocked expression here* What's up with that? guys, if you ask us for our number, is it too much to ask for you to call us? It just seems like the polite thing to do! I wouldn't think too much of it, except it keeps repeating itself. Like this is your default factory setting or something--"Always ask for her number, wether you plan to call her or not." What's up with that????

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 171 (view)

Disappearing Act - How Did You Feel? Posted: 3/26/2008 2:39:39 PM
It shows an amazing lack of respect and just plain dignity, as far as I'm concerned. Seriously, in this day and age, if you don't have the guts to say"I'm just not that into you" to someone's face, the very LEAST you can do is put it in an email, text message, or voice mail, but that's just my opinion. It's getting to be a bit of a joke with me and some of my girlfriends, as in, my new superpower is the ability to make men disappear! Now every time one of us has a blind date, we ask her if she's made him disappear yet! You have to laugh it off or you would just lose your mind. Among my friends and I, the record is 3 men disappearing in the same week!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

The Call Back. I think I'm right, they think I'm wrong. Posted: 3/24/2008 3:41:37 PM
I think you're right, if he was that "into you", he'd find time to call, email, text, whatever. But I'm finding this happens a lot these days. In fact, I went out with a guy recently that called the next 2 days in a row, THEN fell off the planet for 5 days! I firgured he was gone for good, then surprise, surprise, he pops back into the picture. Then after that call, he disppeared for 10 days the next time, so again, I figure he's just not that into me, but then he called again. In my mind, you're either in, or you're not. But he's sort of hanging in there. I'm not pursuing him at all, I don't do that. I asked a guy friend of mine why the other guy is doing this, and he said that's what guys do when they just want to be friends. They pop in and out of the picture regardless of how much time has passed, if they don't have anything else to do and just want to hang out or something. I think there should be some universal rule about it. I have even told guys (after they asked for my number) that I hate it when guys ask for my number, get it, but then don't call me. I think it's rude, if you're just not that into me, don't ask for my number, etc. and it keeps on happening. Why? who knows? I give up trying to figure it out. But the answer is, YOU are right, not your friends.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 359 (view)

Have you really ever felt really lonely? Posted: 3/16/2008 12:44:28 PM
I have felt that way every single day since 5/15/05, the day my husband died. You wouldn't know it to look at me, and I don't talk about it very much, but it feels like the best parts of me died with him.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article) Posted: 3/16/2008 12:33:31 PM
This whole dating thing would be sooooo much easier if BOTH men and women learned to use the phrase-"I'm just not that into you." I have even told guys that this is an easy way to end things, rather than just disappearing into thin air with no explanation. And yet, even after giving them the words to say, they still won't use them. That seems really odd to me, but oh well, I guess they'd rather just fall off the planet with no warning.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is Monogamy Really Incompatible with Biology? Posted: 2/23/2008 12:59:23 PM
It depends on the people involved. simple as that.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 292 (view)

Over 45 Men, How should we dress? OK Ladies fire away! Posted: 2/23/2008 10:42:57 AM
On a first date, nice pants and shirt or sweater, no tennis shoes,(unless we're going to go play tennis!) and a nice leather jacket. No tie necessary. If you really want to impress, a cashmere sweater always looks classy and sophisticated. Never, ever, socks with sandals, and if you have ugly feet but must wear sandals, get the kind with closed toes. Also no black socks with tennis shoes, and no white athletic socks with dress shoes. And don't wear the nasty grass-stained tennis shoes that you wear to cut the grass , for anything else. If it's spring or summer, khaki pants or shorts,or jeans, polo shirt. Stick with the classics. The worst "fashion don't" in my opinion, is the dreaded comb-over!!! guys, when will you figure out that you're not fooling anyone? Just let it go and get over it. It's very liberating, so I hear.... And if you can only grow a cheesy little mustache, get rid of that too. Not a good look.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 217 (view)

Dating an alcoholic Posted: 2/21/2008 9:23:48 AM
I would see if he was serious about quitting drinking, (i.e. going to rehab, etc.) and if he was serious, I'd hang in there. If not, I'd get out of the relationship. I'm not going to be "first runner-up" to a bottle of booze. But that's just my opinion. You'll do what you want to do. It depends on how strong you are.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

security vs happiness Posted: 2/20/2008 6:39:16 PM
I couldn't choose one over the other, they went hand-in-hand in my case. I was lucky enough to have both with my late husband. Now I have financial security, but would trade it in a heartbeat for happines.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

How many drinks is too many? Posted: 2/20/2008 1:44:47 PM
I went out with a guy who drank 5 beers in an hour and a half, and excused himself to go to the bathroom twice. I thought that was way too much to drink, and there is no way I would have ever gotten in a car with him! Wasn't interested in finding out any more about him at that point. Don't need a guy who needs that much alcohol.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Why will women lie about going out again? Posted: 2/20/2008 7:56:02 AM
If we all just took this simple approach it would make everything SOOOOO much easier: All you need to say, or she has to say to you, is--(are you ready for this, it's so simple!) "I'm just not that into you"--6 simple words! Ready, say it with me now, "I'm just not that into you." Kindly and gently, it solves the problem with no muss and no fuss. If we would all learn to do this, dating would be ever so much simpler! It doesn't even take that much courage. Just simple honesty. And the person who hears it should simply reply, "Thanks for being honest with me, I appreciate it. Good luck in your search." Problem solved! And it works for both genders.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S PERSONAL ADS: Posted: 2/16/2008 3:07:30 PM
Most of this is the truth, unfortunately!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

break up by text message Posted: 2/2/2008 8:30:46 AM
It's immature, but it's easy so that's why some people do it that way. They have no guts I guess. Sad but true.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 143 (view)

Would you ever get your partners name tattooed on you? Posted: 2/1/2008 4:21:29 PM
No, but I'm not into that kind of pain anyway... Besides, why would I? For some kind of ID purposes? That's what my driver's license is for!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 72 (view)

Hairs the story... Posted: 1/31/2008 3:24:15 PM
It is HER hair, growing on HER head! She can do whatever she wants to it! She's an adult and doesn't need anyone's permission!!!!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 159 (view)

Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married? Posted: 1/27/2008 12:29:00 PM
Have done it, but I haven't liked the results. Most of them have just been socially awkward, with no conversational skills whatsoever.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 187 (view)

Best songs for strength and for mourning/pain Posted: 1/25/2008 2:50:35 PM
CD 1: "All I Know"--Art Garfunkel "My Baby You"--Marc Anthony "To Where You Are"--Josh Groban "You Raise Me Up"--Josh Groban CD 2: "I Get Knocked Down"--Chumbawumba

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 57 (view)

new man and his ex Posted: 1/3/2008 4:36:04 PM
You're not being insecure, but he needs to set some boundaries with his ex. His sex life (and yours) are none of her business, and he needs to tell her this. In my opinion, him telling her about your sex life is way TMI !

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

slow cooker (crock) recipes Posted: 1/3/2008 3:41:39 PM
The easiest thing to do is to just toss a pot roast in there , pour a cup of water over the top of it, add a packet of dry onion soup mix, dump in a bag of mixed frozen vegetables and let it cook on low all day. When you come home, dinner is ready!

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Why wouldn't he call after a great date? Posted: 1/2/2008 5:51:35 PM
Ok, what I REALLY meant to ask was: If you know you're not going to call, why ask for my number? why not just say, "Well, thanks for having lunch with me, nice to meet you, bye." Or just be REALLY honest and just say, "You know what? I just don't see any chemistry here, so I don't think I'll ask you out again." That would be much easier than the whole ask-for-my-number-and-don't -use-it thing. To me, it's just rude to ask for my number and then not call. I don't know why men in general don't see it that way? That's really what I was asking.

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Why wouldn't he call after a great date? Posted: 12/31/2007 4:14:59 PM
Don't know if he got my number right or not. And I met him through a dating service, not a site, so I have no way to reach him. But he would have to know after a 3-hour lunch with no lapses in conversation, that I was interested. I just find it odd that guys in their 40's play the same games that they did in their 20's. I would have thought we'd all be past that by this point in our lives...

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Why wouldn't he call after a great date? Posted: 12/31/2007 3:35:25 PM
It's been a couple of weeks. My point is, if it hadn't gone well, one of us would have bailed out before 3 hours had gone by. I don't rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic for more than an hour before I pull the plug. And I just feel that if the guy isn't going to call, he shouldn't ask for my number. That just seems rude to me. Isn't it?

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Why wouldn't he call after a great date? Posted: 12/31/2007 2:27:01 PM
So here goes: I met a guy through a dating service, we met for lunch. Things went well, in fact, the waiter had to come back 4 times to get our order, we were so busy talking that we weren't taking time to look at the menu! The lunch took 3 hours! We had a lot in common, lots to talk about, made each other laugh, etc. At the end of lunch, he not only took my phone number, but programmed it directly into his phone. ( I didn't take his number, I never call the guy first. I guess I'm old-fashioned.) Anyway, he never called me back. So my question is, if he wasn't interested, why did he ask for my phone number? Do all you guys do this? Is it in the "Guy Handbook"? Has someone told you guys that it's more polite to ask for her number and not use it than to not ask for it at all? Because that isn't true, and I wish someone would get the word out.... Plus I called the dating service back with my feedback, and was told that he did not say anything negative about me. Mostly I'm just curious about a man's point of view on this....

ilovemyshoes

Joined: 12/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Widows and Widowers, any ideas or advice? Posted: 12/19/2007 2:54:57 PM
I am a 46-year old woman who lost her husband suddenly and without warning 2.5 years ago. The problem I'm having is I feel like I just sort of "exist" now. I don't really see the joy in things, I just function. I do what needs to be done. But I feel like I'm not really back into life at this point. I don't fit in with my married friends any more, (who wants a 3rd wheel?) and I only have one divorced female friend. I know life is short and I should get back in the game, but I just feel so sad all the time. I've tried support groups, (nobody in them was my age, so they didn't "get it"), praying, not praying, medication, going to church, not going to church, (I feel like such a hypocrite when I go--praising God--for what? For taking Jeff from me after only 7 years of marriage? So I quit going.), getting involved in volunteer stuff (tutoring reading at a school, Habitat for Humanity, etc.), and I still feel unwanted, unappreciated and unloved. I get that my friends don't "get it"--none of them has lost the most precious thing in their lives, but they seem to think I should be "ok" by now, (whatever that means.) So I slap on my "happy face" and do what I need to do. But I'm a "figure out what the problem is and fix it" type of girl, and I can't fix it. So I guess my question really is, am I going to feel this way for the rest of my life? Or until love comes along again, if it does? Because I just can't see being this sad for, say, the next 30 years or so, you know? I feel like such a phony, acting like I'm ok when I'm not. I even hate it when people ask me how I'm doing. I'm sort of like a chocolate ship cookie without milk--I'm ok on my own, but with the right partner I'm so much better than that!!!! I really hate the idea of living in the past, cherishing my memories, etc. because I feel like that's not staying in the moment. But my present and future look so bleak. I had everything I ever wanted in life, and it's gone. I accept that, but the reality is, it hurts. I guess what I'm really getting at is: How long is this pain going to go on? Am I ever going to feel like myself again? Any ideas or advice will be appreciated. Thank you all, and sorry if this rambled on...

Show ALL Forums