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glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Can a person kiss with dentures? Posted: 3/16/2009 10:12:46 AM
They can ... but depends on the flavour of polident - I thought it was kinda weird cause the guy tasted like bubble gum or something, too sweet, which made me remember the dentures, which then made me remember being a nurse and cleaning dentures for people, which then made me remember what I've found UNDER dentures, which then made me stop kissing him! All in the blink of an eye - universal precautions indeed!!

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Kinky stuff..... Posted: 3/11/2009 8:35:14 PM
My apologies WesternWildRose, I made an assumption and fell into the trap of being judgmental of someone for apparently being judgmental!

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Kinky stuff..... Posted: 3/11/2009 6:28:09 PM
Thanks Blacat10! I admire women like you who can speak their truth so clearly and know what they want. Why some people view it as harsh is beyond me. You are being honest and communicating straightforwardly, we need more of that in this world. So WesternWildRose, so what if they have become Doms? If they are having a good time and so is their partner, where is the harm?Maybe it is due to the internet. But you say it like it's a bad thing! I am so grateful to the internet! Lol! The things I have learned and the paths I have followed through access to all that information, it's been wonderful. To each their own right? Maybe guys with little control in their "regular" lives are attracted to taking on a controlling role in their sexual life? But again, so what? As long as no one is hurt ... ummm ... permanently, who cares? It's a consensual thing, and not really anybody's business but the people who are playing together.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Favorite Commercial Posted: 3/11/2009 5:20:34 PM
I really like the Jysk one from a while back .... "start the car!" I laughed so hard ... now my kids say it to me regularly! It still makes me giggle.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 100 (view)

Graduate degrees Posted: 3/3/2009 12:03:24 PM
I think the need for more and more education is actually driven by litigation ... someone got sued and had to pay, so to prevent a similar situation in future, they line up their ducks and their paper trail ... and make requirements that "prove" that someone is able to work competently in their field. That paper trail takes time and money to create - hence the rise in costs. Another factor is the HUGE amount that needs to be learned. Humans are creating new knowledge ... the grand total of all that is known is now doubling in less than a year and a half. To be a competent nurse now takes longer to learn because there is so much more to know - including the legislation and various acts that govern practice. In fact they are changing tactics and not teaching everything as discrete facts, but teaching nurses to be critical thinkers and researchers so they can find what they need when they need it. For me and my loved ones, I definitely want someone who has met their "paper trail" requirements - whether a nurse or a mechanic or an engineer - and even my hairdresser! Life and work is far more complex today than it was in the "olden days" so of course the education system reflects that.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

What is Mysticism Posted: 2/25/2009 9:53:41 PM
60to70 - succinctly said. You can't think yourself to mysticism; you need to experience it, react to it, engage with it. No matter what language, or reference or kind of thinking, you can not capture the mystical in words ... you can get close, and Trulio you get an A for effort ... if you were trying to help lull us into a meditative state with all of yours! (Hope you have a sense of humour!) So sad but I think true 60to70 ... human nature is often happy to skim and skip the peaks and valleys - it's safer.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 123 (view)

First dates and what turns you off?? Posted: 2/20/2009 7:28:49 AM
When the guy starts talking in the future tense about "us" and what "we" are going to do - that's a turn off on a first meeting. BUT, down the road, several dates later, it can be a turn on. Timing is everything. Re: cell phone - I have a quick check-in call from my girlfriend on a first meeting - a safety net of sorts - it's very brief and I've always told the person I'm meeting what it was. No one has seemed offended. I always notice how guys interact with the waitress/waiter ... I dislike bossy or lack of manners, or disrespect; just because they're "serving" you doesn't mean you can't say please or thank you - tone of voice goes a long way.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Dating: The difference between now and then. Posted: 2/20/2009 6:47:42 AM
Back then I traveled in circles where there were lots of single people and it was all a grand adventure and so easy to meet someone. Now I travel in circles where everyone is in couples, and those that are single have survived divorce or break up (sometimes several times) and are cynical. Our childlike wonder has worn off and our rose-coloured glasses have scratches. And then, as we age, we get a sense of our own mortality, maybe our parents have passed away, or our spouse, and you begin to feel the pressure of time ... running out ... am I going to be alone forever? Perhaps some sick scent of desperation soaks in ... but as a young person - forever is FOREVER and you have very little sense of mortality or that you should "choose wisely" ... or worry about tomorrow too much. Maybe we think too much as we get older? I like your thinking fa que ... let's reclaim our inner child ... and then cross our fingers and hope to meet someone else who has also reclaimed theirs - cause jumping up and down and grinning while clapping your hands and asking "wanna play?" freaks some folk out! Lol! I want something real and lasting, but sheesh it doesn't have to be "serious."

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

Do Dorks make good lovers? Posted: 2/18/2009 10:19:57 PM
Believing in something that isn't proven because of a scientific inference makes me even dorkier than before! (Although I don't always need demonstrative proof to believe in something) Anyways, I'm dorky-ish and a fantastic lover; so therefore Yes, Dorks (and Dorkettes) make good lovers, and a funny, sweet, (Thanks Trulio - good call) dorky potential lover sounds like a lot of fun actually. Go figure! I never thought to look for a Dork, accidentally perhaps, but hey maybe I've been missing out on a section of the dating pond.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 129 (view)

He spanked me & choked me...is he a perv? Posted: 2/18/2009 6:28:09 AM
Wow Celtic ... you sure don't speak for me as a woman when you generalized so much here. An activity is only a fetish if you MUST have it to get off. Spanking can be power and control - or it might just be a sharp change in sensation that heightens the other sensations. To each their own - there's the true Joy of Sex. If you think you should be spanking children, then honestly I think you personally might have some parent/child issues - don't cast me in that light - to me spanking a kid is abuse - but getting the occasional spanking myself - fun! But then maybe I'm not as evolved as you ... I'm hoping to find a partner where we can both consent to explore each others "perversions" as you labelled them ... and so what if in reality men are using me to fulfill a fantasy and get off - cause that is exactly what I would be hoping to do with my partner!! If you are consenting just to prove something then you're not really being honest. I believe a relationship where both partners feel safe to discuss and explore their fantasies requires a higher level of commitment and trust - and I believe that level of communication leads to greater intimacy and trust ... and ultimately love too. A relationship like that is likely more evolved compared to one where you have expectations based on narrow preconceived notions of "normal" and are afraid (or too bitter) to be open and honest with yourself and your partner about wants and needs. And gee thinking about sex when I'm having sex ... I can't see why you have a problem with that lol! It's not always about love.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Do Dorks make good lovers? Posted: 2/17/2009 5:55:37 PM
As a believer in black holes ... I have succumbed to the Dork Side. I also believe that dorks are often better educated than your average jock, although Trulio if you are whacking yourself up the back of the head with your own data logger ... that is pretty dorky and not very smart! Or is that dweebish ...?? As I've mentioned before there is apparently a correlation (sorry not to provide a reference) between higher education and increased sexual curiosity and adventurousness. Maybe dorks have had more time to study and develop subject matter expertise? I for one am all for it! Knowledge is power. In my experience, dorks are better lovers ... but I haven't tested a representative sample of the population ... and I don't wish to! Maybe I should add "seeking a dork to help me explore my dork side" to my profile ...

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

Sex as one of your interests? Posted: 2/9/2009 7:16:01 AM
I agree Dakota and Tornada ... just to put it in different words; the ability to perform varies from individual to individual ... but in my experience, regardless of performance, there is still an interest in sex. That interest just might not match up with ability - we're all stars in our minds. Those people (and I include women) who really don't have any interest in being physically intimate with a person ... are those people on this website? The challenging part is to meet someone with similar drive and ability, and jeez that's kind of hard to do without talking about it. And we need to talk about it! I had the experience of a great initial meet and good couple of dates ... and then found out (the hard way) that there was an ED issue ... I was really thinking I was a failure ... every trick that always worked before wasn't and things were falling flat, to put it that way. I can see it's a bit of a catch-22 for a guy, but jeez don't claim to be a casanova or a maniac ... if you can't be. I know it must be really difficult to broach the subject, but better to talk about it before getting intimate than to create a situation where the gal is taking it all personally - I thought I was losing my touch! (and my mind ... lol!) It was great learning though, and I now ask gentle questions trying to get a sense of ability and interest before it gets to that point. Hopefully the next "click" or "connection" goes better than the last!

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Sex as one of your interests? Posted: 2/8/2009 7:41:01 PM
When I see "sex" as one of someone's interests, it makes me think they are overstating the obvious. I take it for granted that everyone is interested, so why advertise so loudly? Although part of me admires the person for being forthright. Why do we judge people who state an interest in sex? Lots of people have "good food" or "dining out" on their profiles, and we need to eat to survive, but nobody claims that is stating the obvious ... or starts a thread questioning what people think. Why? Cause sex sells and talking about it is stimulating.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Chemistry vs Attraction? Posted: 2/7/2009 7:53:53 PM
Hey Trulio ... I think love (or lust for that matter) involves chemical changes in people ... much like a drug. Maybe we do become more animal-like like Circe said, but why he's blaming it on the destructive enchantress? Who said it's a bad thing? Personally I kinda like getting lost in that lower "level of awareness" - it helps me forget all my worries and my woes. I'm not sure I'm looking for a pig though ...

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 754 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here.... Posted: 2/7/2009 7:10:21 AM
Hiya, I'm Ailie from Kamloops, been on here a while, but only just dipping into the forums now - it's quite fascinating to see the range of ideas and opinions people have! Things are kinda slow on the actually meeting anyone (in person) side of things, so the forums seem to be a good way to check things out.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is Dating in your 40’s more like the Spin the Bottle? Posted: 2/6/2009 8:53:13 PM
Well said mp2314!! You've articulated ideas I had kind of floating around and said them so clearly, I'm feeling quite inspired! I was nodding the whole time I was reading. Maybe dating websites have more of an overall negative vibe cause we're so exposed to negativity all around us through the media and how some people like to share "how bad could it get" stories, especially these days. We need more people sharing positives, thanks so much for that!

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 140 (view)

That.... Posted: 2/6/2009 8:35:44 PM
I've wondered why I hung around too mylife ... I think you can tolerate things for a while until you start to see what is really happening. And it's all tinged with a bit of disbelief...why is this happening to me ... then rationalization - it's not so bad (there were good parts too) ... a rollercoaster ride until the "cost/benefit analysis" tips in the direction of better to leave than stay. It was a pattern of behaviour over time over time. Only in retrospect did I see the signs ... I spent a fair bit of time beating myself up over it - head-slapping DUMMY style! But what great learning! I've gone too quickly into relationships, too easily swept away, anxious to know what it means and take the next step, to define it - I mean it feels so amazing when you are in that infatuation phase of a relationship and you want to capture it right? But now that I'm older and hopefully wiser, I'm not in a rush, besides I want some substance with my infatuation ... and I think it takes time to get a true sense of a person. I'm sure not going to be buying a house with anyone time soon and I'm kinda partial to having the whole bed to myself. So I can sit back and enjoy the journey now, and savor the beginning of something new ... I don't have to gulp it down whole ... so to speak as it were ... umm ... mind took a left turn there! This being single has its challenges lol!

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 134 (view)

Calling All Divorcees Posted: 2/6/2009 4:11:28 PM
Hey Wanna ... it's truth if it was true. While that is a good point about expressing concerns in a language and way that men understand, in my situation I was explicit ... "please do not tell the children to fvck off, don't tell our 16 yr old daughter she is a lazy cow. How about some counseling or anger management? I am losing respect for you if you continue to do this. I am worried we will end up divorced." Is that in language a man ought to understand? If that is too subtle, then how about men thinking to notice the "subtlety routines" and ask what's going on? It takes two to tango. How's that for my truth?

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 132 (view)

Calling All Divorcees Posted: 2/6/2009 11:36:19 AM
"Men are often oblivious to there being meaningful issues in the marriage." This is SO true and was a big part of both divorces that I initiated. My parents were divorced and I had sworn that I would never end up divorced, believing that you could always recapture that spark and feeling of what drew you together in the first place. Boy was I wrong. It was actually pregnancy that brought us together, twice, I'm a slow learner sometimes! But I'm fixed now, so it's not happening again LOL! People grow and change. I did everything and more to be work on those marriages, to fix the issues I could see and feel, but if your partner is oblivious ... what can you do? My first husband said it was all my fault and that I should have "yelled at him" so he would have known I was "serious" when I brought up concerns. Most of the issues were about money and shared household responsibilities and one day I just woke up and realized that I didn't like him anymore and it was simply over, done, finito. I called it financial abuse and DISRESPECT. After he left with his income (and disappeared) I actually had more money left over at the end of the month. Because I had the higher income, all the debts of the marriage were in my name, that was a big stimulus to file and get it all sorted out. Twenty years later I'm still registered with Family Maintenance because he dropped out of sight, made himself a martyr or something, very limited contact with his children, doesn't even phone on their birthdays. He showed up out of the blue last fall, told us how much money he's making ($43/hr plus OT) said he'd start paying soon ... but disappeared again so zilch, zippo, nada. He complained at the time about FMEP garnisheeing (sp?) his check and how he wasn't left with enough to live on, but you know what? I don't care. How about living up to your responsibilities for once. He made his bed, he can lie in it. Second marriage similiar story only the disrespect wasn't about money, it was about child rearing and what I consider to be verbal abuse ... and nonverbal abuse too - body language communicates disrespect SO strongly, but he didn't believe that, he would snarl and sneer that he said he was sorry, and that was supposed to be an apology. Lots of other things in the marriage were good, we had a lot of laughs, but when I would try to talk to him about issues, it would re-engage the original argument, he would escalate and there would be no meaningful conversation. So I gave up, became dead on the inside for a couple of years, tolerated it all, smiled and nodded. But I began to disrespect myself because of it. Ultimately it was self-loathing that drove me to do something. Something lit up inside me again and I knew there was something better for me that a mediocre relationship. Good enough seldom is. Initially the road to divorce was rocky, but I persevered ... he was VERY concerned about his finances, screamed at me once in front of the kids that I had cost him $100,000 over the 10 years we were together .... so I spoke money to him ... how it would cost us BOTH more if we argued over every dollar ... and that best solution was for both us to compromise - especially for the children's sake. So we did. We now share the kids. I got a place close to him so they could walk back and forth, neither of us pays the other anything, we talk on the phone and share school fees and such. So long story short, I think women initiate divorce more often because (generalization) they FEEL things more deeply and not only listen to their emotions but act on them. And men don't because there is still that stereotype that the man is the provider and come hell or high water they are supposed to stick by their woman so they become oblivious to the problems. Or maybe they're writing them off cause they think it's just "that time of the month" or something! Who really knows.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Is Dating in your 40’s more like the Spin the Bottle? Posted: 2/6/2009 10:11:43 AM
It is like a game of spin the bottle, except now you are choosier about who you invite to play. When I was younger, my entire compatibility list consisted of 3 things; must like to dance, play cards and drink tea. My list now is quite a bit longer - because I know myself so much better now than I did in my 20's - and I've had a couple of "practice runs" that helped me figure out not just what I want, but what I need. I am actually very grateful to be single now and able to choose - to consciously choose, not just have a rush of hormones do the choosing for me.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Chemistry vs Attraction? Posted: 2/6/2009 9:15:53 AM
Attraction + Chemistry = Romance Attraction - Chemistry = Ambivalence Chemistry - Attraction = Friend Zone This could be true, it depends what you are looking for ... or maybe how many drinks you've had. Beer goggles do sometimes increase someone's attractiveness. I've met men where there has been attraction + chemistry (that zing, increase in energy) but when I mention that I'd like to be with someone who would hold my hand in SafeWay as an example (which equals romance to me, affection) they are not interested. They might still be willing to fvck my brains out though! (Excuse my bluntness - too much ****footing around re: sex on these forums if you ask me - it's a basic human need, couch it in meaning all you want.) The outcome is dependent upon the expectations, hopes, wishes, dreams, and boundaries that both of you have. And all of those things can be skewed by booze, full moons, pheromones and degree of horniness. Sheesh in the right circumstances (or wrong depending on your moral viewpoint) you don't need attraction OR chemistry to do the horizontal boogie. Conversely, I think there are some relationships based on a meeting of minds that don't need attraction or chemistry in the physical sense to be compatible; some people seek a comfortable companionship. In the end, as with all things, to each their own; it always depends.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

Graduate degrees Posted: 2/4/2009 7:46:14 AM
There are less than stellar performers in every walk of life regardless of education just as there are brilliant thinkers who can shift your perspective through a simple question and who have never been "formally" educated. Just because someone is a Doctor or Lawyer doesn't mean they are a good Dr or lawyer - maybe they passed their final exam by 1 mark. Who knows. Then there are those who might have passed with 98% but are less than integritous in their personal dealings. Sure there are "fluffy" degrees out there ... some are more academically rigorous than others in an attempt to separate themselves from the money-making degree granting machine. Seems they are adding programs to schools in much the same fashion that they are adding sports to the olympics; the "traditional" athletes don't believe that hoola hooping is a "real" sport, while the hoola hoopers are so excited to FINALLY get recognition for what they are passionate about. Some people might laugh at me with a Master of Arts in Leadership - but for me WOW, I found a subject matter that fires me up! In the end, I don't think it matters if you have a degree or not, or what subject it was in, or what school it was from, or what your marks were. It matters what you do with your life. In the end it all comes back to personal ethics. You get out what you put in. Here's a Warren Buffet quote that illustrates what I'm trying to say;"In looking for someone to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence and energy. But the most important is integrity, because if they don't have that, the other two qualities are going to kill you." Re: critical thinking - they can and do teach it. It is an integral part of nursing curriculi to teach students how to problem solve and ask the right questions to get the answers they need. The partner to critical thinking is self-reflexive practice ... where you think about your thinking and what leads you to the decisions you are making. Of course, as with all things, some people are better at it than others. I think this should be taught in high school to everyone - maybe it is ... hate to make assumptions! A

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Graduate degrees Posted: 1/31/2009 11:41:38 AM
Having a graduate degree is not a selection criteria for me, just to be clear! The only firm limit or "must pass go" that I have is that someone isn't married. Some of the most interesting people I've met were independent scholars ... and followed their passions, not a course outline. I don't "pre-select" or judge based on the smarts entry on someone's profile. But that being said, I'm not going to lie ... when I see graduate degree it intrigues me, just like seeing that a man likes to dance or cook ... or a genuine warm smile in a profile pic, it's another tidbit of information that makes the fishing easier. Seeking a partner is a package deal - no one trait in isolation is going to be the deciding factor.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Graduate degrees Posted: 1/31/2009 9:20:39 AM
I'm not sure I agree spring babe ... yes we are all individuals and a degree doesn't define the person and I am in no way advocating being judgmental or elitist. But I think there is something about surviving the process of getting the degree that tempers a person ... and in my opinion makes them more intriguing. There is a lot of drive, vision and persistence necessary to complete a graduate degree. Those are qualities I am interested in having in a partner. Sure someone without a graduate degree can have those qualities, bring them on; but if you've survived writing a thesis or completed an action research project I know we are going to have things in common.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Graduate degrees Posted: 1/31/2009 8:51:35 AM
I recently met a man on here who thought that a graduate degree meant graduating from high school. He was offended when I asked what kind of master's and found that out; he pretty much said "so there, I'm not talking to you anymore!" With the sound of a stomping foot in the background! Oh well. Meeting someone with a similar education level would be nice, but I certainly don't screen based on it. So many people are independent scholars these days and brilliant in their own right without a piece of paper to confirm it. I read something recently that suggested the higher the education level, the more likely someone is to be adventurous when it comes to trying online dating ... and also more adventurous with the offline activities that can arise after you've met the right person. So perhaps there is proportionately more people with graduate degrees here on POF than you would find in the general population.

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 146 (view)

Explaining the origin of your profile name.... Posted: 1/30/2009 7:57:47 AM
Mines from a tattoo - a personal mission statement inspired by a MaryAnne Williamson Quote " Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our darkness that most frightens us ... as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same" ... so I'm going to share my "light" and then grow as a human being from doing so. It sounds a little heavy ... I should have added something about "and have a blast while I'm doing it!!" Or glow and grow and go with the flow or something like that - hind sight is wonderful!

glowandgrow

Joined: 12/15/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Belly dancing. can you? Posted: 1/23/2009 3:46:02 PM
I've been taking tribal fusion belly dancing classes since September and it is a blast! I was totally surprised how much concentration it takes ... you have to focus and move individual muscle groups ... it's much harder than I thought and involves a lot more than just shaking a jelly belly. I was worried about being older and heavier, but there is something joyful in dance that lets those worries disappear. Lots of the participants had the same worries, so we've bonded. The hardest part was showing up for the first class. You come away feeling fabulous ... something about doing it for yourself and moving your hips in figure 8's and doing chest pops - whoo hoo!!! Just go for it - life is too short not to shimmy and shake what your momma gave you!

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