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Thread: is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?

Joined: 12/19/2007

Msg: 161 (view)

is it just me or are men terified of women with babies? Posted: 5/26/2008 1:33:43 PM
I'm not scared of kids/babies at all. I'm almost 30. Awhile back I dated a girl with 2 kids. Going into it I was a little skittish and didn't know if I'd be Ok with it, but I was and liked it. I liked the whole dynamic and her being a good mother even made her more attractive. Fast forward to now, I started talking to a girl on Myspace that I went to high school with. We didn't know each other back then though. She was married for many years, had 2 kids..then got divorced and oops accidentally got pregnant and has a two month old baby. We plan on meeting this next weekend. She certainly wasn't intending on a relationship this soon or anything, so no fear she's looking for someone to help take care of her/her kids. Even says while we can have fun now she's got some junk going on including the new baby..so while she's very interested and we don't want to wait to meet it could be a little while before we got into a 'relationship.' And there's no guarantee we'll hit it off in person even though we seem to have quite a connection online. Is this a situation I should avoid in the first place? Would have been easier obviously if we'd gotten in touch a little later, but it is what it is. Not a situation I'm scared of and I have no problem with that fact that she'd have little time for me for a little while. We like each other too much to wait to meet. If we were going to wait awhile to meet we'd definitely have to stop talking on a regular basis cuz that would be too hard to keep talking and not meet her.

Joined: 12/19/2007

Msg: 221 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 1/30/2008 1:59:33 PM
I had been seeing a girl for a little while that had informed me early on when we were just chatting about things that she pushes guys away once she gets to like them enough for fear of getting hurt. (found out eventually she had been abused as a child so it makes sense). Well we started getting close, and I told her that I don't know if I should keep going with this because what if it happens to me? She reassured me, I believed her because things seemed to be going so well(SUCKER). Things seemed good, and one day we talked and planned to get together the next day..she seemed happy about everything, excited to get together. She had even mentioned how she tried not to be a leach and wished we had time to see each other more. So that next day, she texts saying she can't, homework, etc..fine(she's in her first year in college). I reply saying 'bummer' or whatever.. She then ignored me for 5 days. Finally got ahold of her and she just said "I just wanted some me time." Typical cold shoulder, not interested anymore, but trying to avoid the confrontation of telling you/talking about it, treatment. But we had gotten so close and things were going so good it didn't make sense that just like flipping a switch I don't want to see you anymore. Then talked a few days after for a sec, she just said "I don't know" as far as what was going on. So I was baffled. Of course then it hit me about what we'd talked about before, getting too close, push them away. And I came here and found out about BPD. She doesn't seem to fit most characteristics, she in high school was even considered the "goody two shoes" of the school. So no self-destructive behavior or anything..Seemed quite well adjusted, a real do gooder. But the relationship effects of BPD fit. So that would seem to explain it. But I'm wondering, she was in a relationship for a maybe a couple years in high school and the first couple months of college. How could she have let herself get so close and not ditch him like she did me? He was abusive(not surprising sounds like abuse victims end up with abusers right?), and once she got to college and got away from him and got new perspective realized how bad it was, stopped rationalizing his behavior, and dumped him. But how would someone with these issues stick with someone so long? Was it something to do with him actually being abusive?

Joined: 12/19/2007

Msg: 183 (view)

Is a 9 year age difference too much? Posted: 12/27/2007 2:52:14 PM
Yeah I'm just wondering what other people are going to think, mentioned to a couple friends her age and they were saying "oh you should find someone older what are you thinking?" But it's not an issue with us and I don't notice her being young when together. And she's probably more mature than I am!

Joined: 12/19/2007

Msg: 180 (view)

Is a 9 year age difference too much? Posted: 12/27/2007 2:05:20 PM
So what do you guys think about a 29 year old guy dating a 19 year old woman? Anything wrong with that?

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