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Thread: Finding Out How Interested He Is...And Why

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Finding Out How Interested He Is...And Why Posted: 11/22/2009 9:47:15 PM
Good grief. Do you really think we are going to write up instructions for men on how to figure us out?? Our only hope is to keep 'em clueless! LOL!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

cheated Posted: 11/17/2009 5:41:09 AM
So what is your definition of "broke up?" does that mean "I am free to do whatever I want, but she is supposed to be faithfully sitting around waiting for me to get whatever out of my system?" You should have never asked her what she did while you were broken up (which means that you are BOTH free to do what you want,) because while you are broken up, what either of you do is none of the other's business. If you hadn't asked her, she wouldn't have lied to you. Maybe she should have told you the truth, so she wouldn't be dealing with this now. You still love her, and so it shouldn't interfere with your lives at the present...if thats the case now, then why did you even need to know what she did while you were broken up? Sometimes what you don't know? Really won't hurt you.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

He's banged his open-relationship roomie.... Posted: 11/17/2009 5:30:56 AM
You can bother with this mess if you want to, but I know I wouldn't. You can rest assured, this chick is going to find a way to make trouble for you and him...or him and anyone he tries to date. He needs to find new roomates.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Emails with EX Posted: 11/17/2009 5:27:08 AM
well, she's with you and not with him, right? In light of his second post, that's up for debate.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

From internet to wedding. Posted: 11/14/2009 2:48:43 PM
To my sweetheart, you make my whole world crumble. We come from different worlds, different lives. Different skin colors, different homes, different hopes, different dreams, different aspirations. Different thoughts, different words, different ways of expressing ourselves, different opinions, different friends, different ideas. When i am old and gray and frail, and i look you in the eyes. What you will see sparkling in my eyes will be the same sparkle you always saw. You will see a desperate gaze. The gaze of life hanging in the balance. The gaze of giving you the power to destroy me and trusting you not to. The gaze of complete abandon. The gaze of lifelong courage, The gaze of trusting another as much as i trust myself. The gaze of true Love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will never be perfect, but my heart is., thanks to you. OMG, you have GOT to say this to her at your wedding. It sounds like vows to me!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Today Was Our 6 Month Anniversary Posted: 11/14/2009 2:46:15 PM
Congratulations. We just hit the 18 month mark, and we've never been happier!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

What's the WHOLE story with success stories? Posted: 11/14/2009 2:45:01 PM
Well, I for one am a POF success story. If you want to read the bad experiences, just read all the other forums, starting with Broken Hearts. There are a lot more bad experiences than good ones, obviously because we all are going to have a lot of disappointments before we find what we are looking for. And like me, not everyone who has a "happy ever after" doesn't post a "testimonial" in the forums. The only testimonials I care about are the ones that my sweetie and I put on each others profiles.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

fighting because of facebook..... Posted: 11/14/2009 2:40:19 PM
What are you people, 12?

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Should I Report This Guy? Posted: 11/14/2009 2:35:13 PM
If he was "confrontational" from the beginning, why on earth did you get to the point of talking to him on the phone?? The first reply you gave him after the "confrontational" side of him reared its ugly head was your first mistake! I don't think it's against the rules here to be a jackass. At least he shows himself for what he is, and that's more than you'll get from a lot of the people you'll meet here!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

WTH is going on? Phone relationship?? Posted: 11/14/2009 2:31:47 PM
If you are staying on the phone for 7 hours at a time with her, she might not want to answer the phone because she just doesn't have time for that! I'm thinking so much contact too fast was just overkill, and she's a little worried that you might be a "clinger." It's totally possible to overdo it, even if you both seem comfortable with that "at the time." You've left her two messages. The ball is now in her court. Don't contact her again, and if she contacts you, go from there.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 11/2/2009 5:51:14 AM
Amillo, if you bother to look at my profile, you'll see that I've already found the gentleman for me. Be sure to look at all the pictures and read his testimonial. He does see my inner sunshine, and I see his. Neither of us expects perfection in the other, it's a much more realistic way of looking at things. I don't know what your comments are supposed to mean about chest broadness, but I don't need any kind of implants. I got my nice perky D cups the old fashioned way. I grew them.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Hurt games men play on this site, any other women experienced this? Posted: 10/28/2009 7:05:52 AM
already had to share their wealth You mean "marital property?" I always love it when people assume the man is the only person who loses anything. The wife lost half of what was hers too, you know.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Hurt games men play on this site, any other women experienced this? Posted: 10/28/2009 7:03:59 AM
That guy was probably just "collecting" favorites. He was trying to get on a million womens favorite lists. Too bad for him, we can't see how many people have someone on their favorites anymore, so we'll never know just how "popular" he is. Truth is, he probably isn't the guy in the picture, he's probably like the guy in "So Much Cooler Online" and lives in his mothers basement.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/28/2009 6:52:09 AM
Don't worry, Amillo...I provide my guy with a 5-star full head of hair, and I expect him to do the same. Good to know we won't be wasting any of each other's time.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Did I do the right thing in telling... Posted: 10/28/2009 6:46:45 AM
There's nothing wrong with talking to several girls at once. There's something wrong with LYING about it though. Since there's nothing wrong with it, why didn't he just tell her "I'm not exclusive with anyone at the moment, but there are a few people I talk to." That would NOT have been off-putting to me at all, I would value his honesty. Finding out the way she did, after being lied to is not a scenario you want to create.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

need advice , moved to Montreal for boyfriend Posted: 10/28/2009 6:42:30 AM
You've already moved. It's too late for my advice.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

Wouldn't ordinarily do this... Maxim mag/porn accusations etc Posted: 10/28/2009 6:38:03 AM
She sounds like a real nut, if you ask me. If she'd get violent over something that stupid, wait till something worth getting upset over happens. Are you really going to let her tell you what you can and can't sell in your store??? I mean really, are you? Don't give her the chance to break things off with you. You do the breaking, and do it fast, changing the locks the minute you get all her stuff out of your place. If you moved into hers, get out and don't let her know where you move to. She sounds like someone who would burn your house down while you are sleeping in it.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

Kissing cheating? Posted: 10/27/2009 12:13:33 PM
Two things: 1. If you wouldn't do something in front of your significant other, or if you wouldn't want them to find out about it, then consider it cheating. (however, if the kissing/hickie/whatever took place while you were broken up, NO cheating occurred and she was under no obligation to even tell you about it.) 2. If someone tries to tell you they are no good for you? Believe them. It's the one thing they are NOT lying to you about.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Arabianangel how do you encapsulate 'like your doing in your post?' Posted: 10/27/2009 12:01:53 PM
TW, the instructions for "quoting" someone's post is to the right of the "reply" screen. type the word quote between the brackets at the beginning of the quote, and then type /quote between the brackets at the end of the quote.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 94 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/27/2009 11:56:06 AM
Deerdog, there are about a million "women cheating" threads. One of them is 35 PAGES long! If I'd known that, I'd have used some of my World Ruling powers to get rid of it a long time ago!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

Are women with breast augmentation cheating with false advertising? Posted: 10/27/2009 11:53:32 AM
How can it be "false" advertising, when you can tell with one glance which ones are real and which ones are fake? (hint: if they look like two grapefruits bolted just under the collarbones? They are fake.)

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

do average women with numerous emails even try to get to know a man on pof? Posted: 10/19/2009 10:13:54 AM
I've never known anyone here who "gets lots of email," except for those who are practically naked in their profiles. They aren't looking for anything meaningful anyway, so I would imagine they are still looking towards that next email. "Average" women don't get "lots" of emails.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

The Stand-By Posted: 10/19/2009 10:12:23 AM
Wait till he eventually gets back to you, then say "I'm talking to someone else, and if it doesn't work out, I'll get back to you. Kthxbai!"

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Why women rule the world. Posted: 10/19/2009 8:45:24 AM
LMAO, ok Bando, you went to jail for being honest and loving? Do elaborate on how you went to jail for that.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Why women rule the world. Posted: 10/19/2009 8:42:43 AM
As ruler of the world, I am ordering you off my planet!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 230 (view)

Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman? Posted: 10/19/2009 8:31:21 AM
Why do Strong, Independant, and Outspoken MEN scare the hell out of the modern-day woman? They don't scare me, that's my favorite kind of man. Because a man who is truly this way (and not just saying he's that way) WANTS a strong and independent woman, and is not threatened by her abilities or her differing opinions, should she have any. I don't want a doormat, I want someone who can give as good as he gets! I don't need someone to "mold," I got that out of my system raising my kids. I want someone to come to me with his personality already formed, I don't need a "work in progress" or someone who needs "fixing." I'm 42 years old, I don't have time for that nonsense in my life.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/19/2009 6:41:43 AM
Deerdog, no one is assuming that all cheaters are men. We are responding to the topic of THIS thread, which happens to be "husbands" cheating. If you want to go start one about wives cheating, I will go and copy/paste my answer on this thread into that one. I feel the same way about cheating, no matter who is doing it. And that is, that our behavior is our OWN, and no one can blame their behavior on another person.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

How is behavior curbed? Posted: 10/19/2009 6:29:10 AM
OP, her mother might have always been like that, but the woman is 25 years old now, not 5. If she doesn't want her mother interfering in her life, SHE is the one who is going to have to make the change. As in, get out of her mothers house, and tell her as little as possible about what goes on in her life. If this 25 year old wants to continue to let her mother tell her what kind of job she can have, then that's her problem. She needs to get out and do whatever she wants to, without worrying about whether or not her mother likes it.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

How is behavior curbed? Posted: 10/19/2009 6:25:21 AM
She is the only one who can overcome her mother running her life. By getting out of her mothers house. Her mother is right. If she doesn't like it, she needs to get out.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? Posted: 10/19/2009 6:15:47 AM
Well gee, I thought we were "born" gay or hetero? So how did he "used to be" gay? You know, some of these people need to make up their minds. Were they "born that way" or not? Because if, when he was "being gay," did he go around saying he was born that way? And if he was born that way, how did he "change" into a heterosexual? If gay people are "born that way," then he's STILL gay, and the ring would be returned. Yes, this is something she needed to know. He should have told her from day one, so she would know what she was getting into. She did NOT overreact, because what would happen 5 or 10 years down the road, when she's got a couple of kids with this guy and he suddenly decides that he has to "be true to himself," and leaves her for a man? She'd be an idiot to set herself up for that.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Here is my theory on why I am the ONLY one he has ever been faithful to Posted: 10/19/2009 6:10:55 AM
You are probably not the only one who thinks she's the "only one" he never cheated on. If he's cheated on everyone else, he's cheated on you. He just managed not to get caught with you.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/18/2009 6:22:29 PM
Men (and women) who cheat do not do so because the sex is bad. They do it because they have a character flaw. It's a choice you make. So you just keep on cheating and keep on blaming someone else for it. But anyone with a brain knows the real truth. You are of weak character, and your behavior your OWN responsibility.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Should I continue seeing him? Posted: 10/16/2009 12:02:16 PM
It doesn't matter what a new relationship can bring. It doesn't matter what you have to offer him. None of that matters until he is ready for a new relationship, or ready for what you have to offer. I feel badly for you, but you are going to have to accept that he's not over his old relationship. He should never have gotten involved with someone so soon after his old relationship broke up. You do not just "get over" the loss of a 7 year relationship. he's lost 7 years of his life that he can never get back. He clearly still has feelings for the other person, even if it's just to grieve the loss of her and the relationship. You already acknowledge that you don't seem compatible. You need to do both. End it "so he CAN" sort things out.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Sacrificing Sleep - When you've moved on to the stage of parenting Posted: 10/16/2009 11:52:34 AM
I learned to get up multiple times during the night when my kids were little. It became a habit. I probably haven't slept a full night since 1989.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

Men and needs Posted: 10/16/2009 11:50:02 AM
Really though...doesn't everyone want to feel needed? I don't think it's a "man" thing. I want to be needed. I want to know that someone depends on me and needs me in his life like I need him in mine.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/16/2009 11:45:58 AM
I'm just trying to figure out why you are so obsessed with sex, and how long you have to wait for it. I think you've already been told before, if you want instant sex, go buy some. I find it hysterical that you would find anyone else's behavior "controlling." She's controlling if she doesn't want it, she's controlling if she does. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. Edit: Farceur, how's that working out for you?

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

Virginity for Sale Posted: 10/16/2009 11:40:38 AM
All I can say is, I'm in the wrong line of work. Just how many times can you be a virgin??? HA!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 204 (view)

That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal Posted: 10/16/2009 11:06:47 AM
How can you drag someone who believes s/he is free from STDs to the clinic to get tested before having sex? What are you, 12? If you have to drag them, why would you want to have sex with them? You can't drag someone to be tested if they don't want to, but IMO someone who won't be tested or has to be forced into is not a very responsible adult. Let me guess. If they refuse, you just give it up anyway? Because they believe they are clean, so of course they must be.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 160 (view)

A real woman Posted: 10/16/2009 5:54:43 AM
annathasia, I would really hate to see someone's lips blown up with Botox. (Hint: It's better to use collagen.)

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Would this bother you and should I talk to him about it? Posted: 10/16/2009 5:45:23 AM
Your male friend is right. If this girl ever gives him one inkling that she'd glance in his direction, he would drop you like a hot potato in a minute. You (and probably anyone else he dates) are probably what he's settling for since he can't have what he really wants. I don't think you are being insecure and petty at all, since he's basically told you exactly where he stands. Insecure and petty would be you feeling this way even if he hadn't said the things he said. On the contrary, I think it would be foolhardy to get any more attached to him at this point.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 198 (view)

How long should a woman remain married to a controlling verbally abusive alcoholic? Posted: 10/15/2009 5:59:46 PM
But ChancesRMD, if they deleted old, defunct threads, how could everyone whine about how "redundant" every new thread is??? I agree with you, old threads should be auto-deleted after going X amount of time with no activity.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 192 (view)

How long should a woman remain married to a controlling verbally abusive alcoholic? Posted: 10/12/2009 5:58:11 AM
How long should a woman remain married to a controlling verbally abusive alcoholic? For about 30 seconds after he becomes a controlling verbally abusive alcoholic. If he was this way before you married him, then I don't know what to tell you.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Do most women find 18 to be too young? Posted: 10/12/2009 5:56:12 AM
If I have a kid as old (or in your case older) than you, you are too young for me. So don't go after women who could be your mom, unless you want a lot of rejection.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

BUSTED! LMAO Posted: 10/12/2009 5:54:16 AM
The wife wasn't blaming me, but him. She needs to be blaming herself, for being married to him for 7 years.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 264 (view)

POLYGAMY? Posted: 10/7/2009 12:52:20 PM
Prince Vlad, would you be willing to let a new "husband" or two join your "family?"

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 263 (view)

POLYGAMY? Posted: 10/7/2009 12:40:23 PM
The only one that would miss me would be my mom but she wouldnt care as long as i was taken cre of........ This is not the '50s! We do not have to settle for any old kind of offer of marriage to just anyone, in order to be "taken care of." Take care of yourself, and marry someone because you are so in love with him that you cannot imagine living the rest of your days without him! I think this guy is only using the polygamy lifestyle as an excuse to be with more than one woman. What other reason is there to live this lifestyle??

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 262 (view)

POLYGAMY? Posted: 10/7/2009 12:31:08 PM
Ok, when I first started reading this, I thought you must be 18 or 20, to be this naive. You want to know "how it would work?" It would work this way. He would have you and his supposed mistress (how do you know he's not really married to her?) and as many other women as he wanted to bring around. Can you really live that way? You are not so good at sharing, but you don't care if he sleeps with her? If you are ok with him sleeping with her, what do you care if he wants another wife?? The "heart" in these matters is that the man gets to have a "flavor of the night" and you get your share of his affection when he's not giving it to one of the others. If you can live that way, go for it. He said he wanted to marry you, and you said yes, thinking he was joking? You haven't said a word about how you actually feel about this guy, just that he likes to pay for your stuff. Have you done any research about where he comes from? In many of those countries (especially the ones where they can have multiple wives) a wife is just another possession, something that they own. I would be very careful about this if I were you.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

Moving too fast, still hung up on his ex? Posted: 10/7/2009 12:02:09 PM
You had known him a week, and you think he should break previous plans and that he didn't give your feelings proper consideration? After a week of knowing you? The exclusivity thing was your idea in the first place, not his. You are being controlling. If you'd been with this guy for months or whatever, then I could see having a problem with it. But the truth is, you are just someone he just met, nothing more. You don't have to take back the wanting to be exclusive thing. It doesn't sound to me like he's taking it too seriously anyway. He has basically told you that if she lived there, they'd still be together, so that should tell you everything you need to know. He's not over her, so I would totally get over HIM.

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 81 (view)

another dating site calls us losers Posted: 10/7/2009 11:31:21 AM
Once I saw an ad ON POF that was just a link to some site...the link just said "Plenty of Fish Sucks!" I even started a thread about it, and I haven't seen that ad since. LOL!

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

The soft blow off, how do you handle it? Posted: 10/7/2009 11:22:54 AM
I would just do C. "Sure, talk to ya then!" You are still leaving the ball in her court. What if she really is swamped and needs a little time? You lose nothing by taking that 1% chance that she's telling the truth. That said, that would be my last initiation at contact with her...as I said, the ball would be in her court, and I'd leave it there, while still continuing to meet new people. If you are available and she decides to get back in touch, fine. If you aren't, then too bad for her. If she doesn't contact you again, then you haven't wasted all that time waiting around on the off chance that she might.

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