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mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Never thought single parents had it so bad. Posted: 1/22/2009 4:28:26 AM
Thank god we live in Australia .The land of freedom. I have worked as a security guard at a lot of public swiming pools, And we do not have these implications at all.But we do have one rule which every one adhere to ,No any form of photo nor video's on swiming pool grounds.Other than that you can have as many children as you want in the pool at any time.And another thing I do agree with mesg 11 .About your status now been a single parent for only 19 days.Mate it is hard at first but the bitterness will wear off in the long run about your ex.Be proud of what you are ,A FATHER. it consists of a lot of things.In future avoid headaches and take them to the beach ,it's a lot cleaner.In the future think about the children of what effect will have on them mentally.They are at no fault to be put through this.Trust me I have been down that road and still am.and work on mistakes for the better.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 905 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 12/6/2008 9:25:19 PM
Quazz : You have been so helpfull on this topic. Don't let ppl stear you away from what positives you have acheived .As for ceij,I understand his frustration of not being able to do some thing about his ex.I feel he still loves her and wants to be with her,may be to tell her how he feels about her and that she can not move on with her life with himbeing there for her.I am saying this from experience who have lived with B.P.D for 20 years and the dificulty is that we have children.ceij what you have endured with your ex no where near to what I had been through with my ex over that period of time.ppl may say why did you stay that long,well HOPE. I thought I can give her a better life than the one she had,but I was wrong. Quazz. you have been great for me allowing me to understand more about this illness.And you hav e given me answers that I have been searching for for a long time.Please keep up the good work. You have lived it,They haven't.You suffered the pain,agony,let down's,ect,but they haven't.So be positive with your actions and thoughts with experience.You know 2 years ago I was so ignorent about this illnes .But now that I have been doing a lot of reading and learning a lot from ppl such as you which Iam very greatfull to you Quazz. I have a total different view to ppl who live's with this illnes which they had not brought it upon them selve's with their own doings.It is a result of bad experience through there grown years by the selfish parents who they have have abused them while they were young.B.P.D are not to blame for their actions.ppl close to them should give them total attention they desire,thats wher I was ignorant.I wish I can bring back time,I would have done things diferent,She has gave me heart and I abused it because of my ignorance ,Iknow it is too late to heal those wounds.Or I should say those scares which they are imbeded in her memory for life.I know that ignorant ppl should be more tolerant in the future to these life's dificulties illness.Once again hang in there Quazz you are doing great.And thanks for the help of confidence you have been giving me. And for ceij mate take it easy with your comments and if you have the slightest chance to work things out with your ex: Grab it and hold to her tight,Because B.P.D ppl Once they give their heart to their partners they realy do mean it and they look up to you as their protector who does not betray them nor hurt them.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

bikie gangs in aust Posted: 12/1/2008 4:06:54 AM
Hey hopster: I think you watch too much t.v Miami Vice and you so brain washed by the media reporting.MAN what you know you keep it to your self. What you have just stated that you singled out certain ethnic groups.And that's wrong of you man.Unless you have strong evidence of prove which you don't have I'm sorry to say that.even though you did say you grew up on the streets .Hey you not the only one there are lot of young kids who grew up on the streets,but they do not bragg on about what you have said. Using meeting sites to conduct criminal activities this is only to scare ppl,just to give the public some thing to talk about and the law enforcers and politicians are doing some thing about these matters.It is all about votes and commodeties my man and nothing else.we can be misled so easy by these politicians. ppl say this country is the land of freedom ,Well yes it is back in the 40s and up to the 70s but it no longer is as we are the puppet of the big banks yes they are the criminals not the average joe blow those little bikie gangs and those little car re-birthing gangs and those little drugg dealers they are only the small fish in a huge lake.what the media reports is what the banks wants us to hear and thats that.We can speculate on a lot of things but nothing beats allan bond and christopher skase .My answer to the OP Yes any form of communication will be used by the criminals as a diversion.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 113 (view)

question for single moms Posted: 11/29/2008 4:59:43 PM
Romeo:you live a different life to her.What you did was trying to show her how to live good by being treated like a lady.And that took her by surprise.some time s us men should think with our heads not our hearts or whats between the legs.I like to say one thing romeo have you tried to live her way of life easy lay back no responsibilties.May be what she did is best for you not to break your heart in the future.The way i see it is that she has no self esteem and no confidence in her self at all thats why she found your treatment is different to the rest she being with ,and I think you came on too strong trying to attach her to you more stronger by buying her a lot of things that she is not used to getting from other guys.It is sad to see those children of her to live in an un-stable environment .I would like to encourage you to read ppl posts on other threads they are very interesting and may be it will give you a better idea in the future. specially ppl with mental illness good luck in the future and think with your brains.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

have any of you read any of the dating advice my some of the gurus Posted: 11/23/2008 10:00:54 PM
Man you need a lot of growing up before you know what you are really talking about women. I have worked in a lot of night clubs from the sleazy one's to the poshy one's in town .I have seen and heard a lot from a lot of women.To my way of beliefs,and this is only my opinion.There are three types of women.(first) Women who wants marriage do not go to sleazy joints night clubs and so forth.(type two) are the one nighters,who would pick any type just to satisfy their needs for the moment and they normally pick the wuss because they don't like to be dominated.So if you try to use the double dating stuff that you read from those books who you think that all women should be treated as such forget about it.It will not work because they are the one nighters only.They will not even know who you are the next day,because mentally they shut off all feelings,so they don't get attracted to you. now come the final one yes the third type of women are the sluts with all due respect to the rest to the descent woman out there and no offense.These are the kind of women that you can use these mind games on them just like these author's who market there books for profit and nothing else and the one's who buys their books are the losers because you live for those people and make them rich.My guess is that you have used some notes of these books meaning that you need to be (c,o,c,k,y and funny) in order to get attention.I don't know why you have joined this site may be to pick a one night stand or intimate relationship mate take it from a bankstown boy you are barking at the wrong tree.go to the red light district down the cross there is no shortage there it is absurd to pay for sex it shows how child minded you are grow up and have respect for all women remember you were born from one.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

LOVE What is love andWHATit's values. Posted: 11/22/2008 4:17:54 AM
MG ROD : Whats your point?

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

LOVE: What is love and WHAT are it's values? Posted: 11/22/2008 4:12:34 AM
HI Quazi I'm sorry I haven't kept in touch with you for the last ten days.It just that I haven't been feeling well emotionally I had bad anxiety attacks and they did go on for long period of time some times it lasts up to two to three hours daily. I some times get anxiety attacks when I wake up and some times at night after I finish work .I know it puts the children under a lot of stress.But I did explain to children that I am going through difficult time and they need to bear with me and ignore me when I do silly things some I might break glass plates while I'm doing the dishes un-intentionally because some times nothing seem to work when I have my anxiety attacks.And some times I get the urge to call her by phone.thinking there is some thing is wrong.may be she is in need of money for food and cigaretts because from what she told me her boyfriend and his father they usually take hers and he buys her nothing always complaining that he can not afford to buy her even a $2 garment but he does supply her with drugs actually they share it together and some times they argue who had the most. I know from previous occasion I used to make the first call.But now I'm thinking it is becoming a dominance game.I might be insane for thinking like that.I'm so confused of what to do.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

LOVE What is love andWHATit's values. Posted: 11/22/2008 3:38:55 AM
GoneSailinBabe: Thank you for your input.and some very interesting information as well.Yes you are correct she chose to be where she is at the moment,but you did say as long as no harm is done.Well in the last 5 fall outs she had with her boyfriend,I had to help her out mentally and financially.although I did convince my self to say no to her,if when ever she comes to me for ant thing,but I couldn't sustain that thought.I tend to go soft towards her,But she does come out with beauty one's(stories)and she knows that I do go soft.On one occasion.When she was testing me whether I will take her back or not,she sent me this text I would not go in full details but what she did say is,she used the shepherd and the lost sheep (I the shepherd and she is the sheep) the sheep was told by another sheep that the grass is greener over the side so the sheep believed it one year gone-by then the sheep could not find any grass over the side.the shepherd then went out looking for the sheep and found the sheep then brought the sheep back home where the sheep have found no greener grass other than home and lived there happy ever after.When i got this txt from her it did bring tears in my eyes and my soft heart did take control of me it was very touchy.So ultimately I did went out of my way to forget what she did to me and concentrate on helping her from my heart and thinking that she would stand-by those words to stay at home with me and the children.Unfortunately that was not the case since she got better she decided to leave back to her boyfriend.And I did that 5 times I don't know what will I do in the future because I do love her unconditionally.20 years is a long time to forget in short period of time even though I did find some one else ,but was not happy and I did not want to break the woman's heart in keeping the truth away from her that I have nothing for her and thinking being with her may take my mind off my ex.It is very hard for me to explain why do I keep taking her back even though she did a lot of bad things.this is why love have no boundaries in my case .

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 540 (view)

I can be Posted: 11/21/2008 5:09:20 PM
All the painful memories I hold inside of me Are washed away Through the marks Which are in my heart ............................................................................................................................................... Some times I do this Because I can't say What I really feel It's not that I want to die ............................................................................................................................................... My heart is scared From the painful memories I hold ............................................................................................................................................... Often when I'm not heard I feel hurt. ...............................................................................................................................................

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Abuse, Fear, and Getting To The Other Side Posted: 11/21/2008 4:52:26 PM
It is so sad to see- one- live in miseries and yet surrender to people whom are full of lies, betrayal, deceit. and most of all are jealous.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Two Cultures&Two Religions...Do They Mix In A Relationship Posted: 11/21/2008 4:33:12 PM
[It does sound like your ex wanted to bounce back to something that she avoided all along.] Actualizing: You are absolutely correct.Yes she is heavily involved in using illegal substances which I am dead set against.The company she has now and always been with are illegal substances users.It brought my memories back when she wanted to start a relationship with me I did say to her to choose what she want either me or the illegal substance.So she gave it up for six years then back on to it and has been ever since. One thing I like to add,the last time I took her back into our house which was about 9 months ago.she then left 3 months later.back to her boyfriend.Well my daughter who she is now 17 years of age had threatened me to run away from home if I ever take her mother back into our home.Well this time I did assured my daughter and my youngest son who is 13 years of age that I will not take her back into our home ever again.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Two Cultures&Two Religions...Do They Mix In A Relationship Posted: 11/21/2008 4:05:44 PM
Thank you all for your reply and interest to this matter.There were a lot interesting thoughts and opinions from you all.You did shed shed some light.However I am very flexible towards cultures and religion.I have never asked her to convert nor did she.In the first 6 years of our relationship it was sweeter than honey we got along very well.Until our last child was born at the of six months old she started to mix with her old friends who they are involved in illegal substances.I tried very hard to steer her away from those bad influenced people but could not succeed.Thats when our relationship began to be like a roller coaster.There were no mention of different cultures at all.until recently when she started a relationship with a guy who is of same culture and tribe,they do not believe in religion,more involved in spiritual stuff.My main concern is even though she said the two cultures don't mix.What about the children they are of two cultures does that mean she can not mix with them.I have the children in my custody and do not mention any of these things that she said.And they are brought up to respect and live by the law of the land and respect all religions race color and elders.But to think a mother will use such statement it is unacceptable by any means,I mean she did said much worse comments earlier.when i had a discussion with her about her every time she leaves us she keeps saying to people that I always take the children away from her.Well I did confront her with those words and said to her (Why don't you take the children with you ever time you decide to leave the relationship..... her ..........answer was are you kidding who would take me in with excess baggage meaning the children are described to her as excess baggage.Thats below the belt statement.The only reason I posted this thread to learn of other people who may had an experience like mine and shed some answers because I am still looking for answers .Ok some people may say to leave her alone and get on with my life it is true I should do that 18 years is a long time and there is more years to come when I get asked by my children questions which i don't have answers to this is why I'm asking you as readers for thoughts and answers in relation to this matter.once again I thank you very much for your input and concern.I do apologize my thread is too long but it eases down my depression and anxiety when I express my feelings and thoughts.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Two Cultures&Two Religions...Do They Mix In A Relationship Posted: 11/20/2008 12:40:18 AM
After18 years of marriage,I get told by my ex that two cultures and two religion don't mix.This is why she chose to start a relationship with a guy from her own indigenous tribe.I ask my self if she is correct so where the children fit in, to which culture or religion. Any info please.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 172 (view)

Would you give up custody of your kids and move away just to be with a new partner? Posted: 11/18/2008 10:09:34 PM
It is so sad to see-one live in misery and yet surrender to people whom are full of lies, betrayal and deceit.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 171 (view)

Would you give up custody of your kids and move away just to be with a new partner? Posted: 11/18/2008 10:05:40 PM
SHE DID ................SHE DID..........SHE DID.................SHE DID.............SHE DID..............SHE DID..................SHE DID.....................SHE...............SHE DID................. She abandoned three of her children for a guy and raising his son.How can the message be put across to her,where as her mother abandoned her two daughters at the age of six months and 2 years old.To my understanding now it is the third generation who is carrying out this cycle.I am very lucky to have my three wonderful angels with me and in my custody.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

At what age do people get over playing games? Posted: 11/16/2008 10:09:28 PM
There is no age limit to stop playing head games.One might say,Why do either genders play head games.In my opinion scared to face reality untrustworthy and unstable insecure.Deep inside there hearts they feel unwanted by society.And further-more,they believe they are owed. little they do know whilst they having a lot of fun and enjoyment for the time being.Reality will then surface in their latter years becoming solo and no body cares about them,even their own family.Thats karma,what goes around comes around.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

LOVE: What is love and WHAT are it's values? Posted: 11/15/2008 4:48:15 AM
Quaz: You are absolutely correct.Yes she has been raised by an iresponsible mother and a step father.who she told me that he used to stick his tongue down her throat and used to make obscene remarks about her boobs.she did have large breast when I first met her.and she used to complain a lot about them.I did supported her in getting plastic surgery reducing the size of her breast. At the age of 17 years she sent away from home because of all the beating she was getting from her step father,she did tell me he was very cruel to her,used to grab her by the hair and swing around the room if she did not do what she was told to do.Her life basically whe she was living home.she had to feed the animals before going to school.Then after school she has to clean up the den.Any way she did not know who her real father is father because her mother continue telling her lies.So basicaly at the age of 17 she left home and never returned since.She started abusing illegal substance and involved with real bad people.She was introduced to a red light district.for 4 years, Until I spotted her in the night club I was working at.She looked so innocent and she appeared not to belong in the area she was in .I took her away from that area thinking of just helping her and nothing further and i did tell her that I do not wanted to be tied down in a relation ship we were good friends and I helped her a lot even found an appartment furnished it for her and said to her that she is on her own now .But if ever you need me I'm a phone call away.It was matter of days I was told by a friend that she brought back her boyfriend who he was her pimp.I was not happy about the matter so I ignord all her calls.Until one day she was crying for help and I atteneded her place where her pimp was belting her.I took care of the matter and he never came near her ever since.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

ultimate revenge Posted: 11/14/2008 11:40:06 PM
What is revenge.And what would you achieve satisfaction,no. The only satisfaction you get is when you build enough confidence in your self to go out there and find your self a guy, that will make you forget revenge on your ex.Live life good and enjoy.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

How does it actually feel for you? Posted: 11/13/2008 9:47:13 PM
How does it actually feels: well I think one word sums it all grief,and as some of the readers have mentioned before on this thread.20 years of relationship then ending it with no reason,very hard to accept. went through hell and still in it almost on my way out.the experience I went through horrible.Lost every thing house furniture every thing but one I was very great full to have are my three wonderfull children and that what matters to me then.13 days went with out food only smoking and coffee.Developed depression and anxiety Lost my job had no stable home.For three weeks.Two years later moved into a brand new home bought brand new furniture for all of us and all house essentials from cutleries to linen and have a full time job and raising my three children on my own.I guess I did very well from been heart broken homeless and no work.YES all thanks to the help I received,from my phsychologist(check spelling) increased my self esteem and confidence that I can move on with life without her been around.I am on medication and have been for the last 2 years which is doing me a lot of good.At the begining of the marriage break down the thought of suicide was there for only few hours then I began to think the value of life is worth much more to me and the children to stay around for the children.The thought of her keeps haunting every day.so some one had told me to hate her.My reply was I don;t know how to hate and I'm not the sort of person to hate people.The weirdest thing although she is in a relationship with her boyfriend I still give financial support ,just because she is the mother of my children.I know this thread is too long but I feel once one release tension by expressing their thoughts and talk about it.It does help a lot.thank you for reading my article.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

Share Your Broken Heart Poetry Posted: 11/10/2008 9:29:29 PM
All the painful memories............I hold inside of me are washed away...................Through the marks which are in my heart....................My heart is scared .......................From the painful memories.....................I hold. Some times I do this because I can't say...............What I really feel.....................It's not that I want to curl up and die?.....

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

Share Your Broken Heart Poetry Posted: 11/10/2008 9:23:38 PM
Often when I'm not heard I feel hurt

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

Share Your Broken Heart Poetry Posted: 11/10/2008 9:20:47 PM
Teach me to stop caring ........................When I think of what we were Teach me to stop hurting.......................When I see you there with him Show me how to live again......................When you are not there with me Show me how to fight the fact that We're not meant to be Tell me that I'll be alright And my life will be okay With out you right here by my side to be with me each and every day Let this torn heart heal up Don't let this heart-break last Teach me to let go like you did For you've forgotten me so fast.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

Share Your Broken Heart Poetry Posted: 11/10/2008 9:08:53 PM
You look at me with joy You look at him with a smile You look at me as a friend You look at him as more You look at me with care You look at him with passion You look at me with friendliness You look at him with some thing unspeakable You look at me with kindness You look at him with love Why him ......Why not me........Why can't that person be me.......the person you never want to look away from? You look at him and never want to look away You look at him and there is nothing else that matters.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

LOVE What is love andWHATit's values. Posted: 11/10/2008 5:47:59 PM
Quazi: Where were you when I needed you.you are absolutely correct I wish I had known you before as a friend.From what I have been told by her friends that she does fear from me.And I keep on defending my self that I'm not on the contrary I fear from her about when she is going to leave home.I'm a 100% sure that she gave me her heart because I was different from the rest she knew and I never betrayed that all.I remember from the last time when she asked to give her support in order for her to get mental help,which I did but when she got better she went back to her boyfriend.And that puzzled me.Thinking that I might have done some thing wrong by her.Quazi I feel every thing you say is from experienced it is what you went through and I truly believe that.And I hope for the future we keep contact.I am very pleased to listen to what you say it is different from other people who usualy express their opinion rather than knowledge.Why I would like to hear more from you is that now it had been two months she had been back with her boyfriend and I know she is going to call up on me for some thing but I need to be ready.Yes she is a master of deception I don't mean it in a nasty way.I do understand she behaves like such because of her illness. And I did assured her that I will always be there for her no matter what. I like to hear from you mare Quazi and once again thank you from my heart.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 841 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 11/10/2008 5:28:44 PM
I just read your profile, mate.....not good. You've bought into everything she said to you. I don't think you're boring, and I'm certainly not going to criticize you for what you say. You have been kind of brainwashed for the last 20 years, I can see that, easily. Please do something for me....only if you want to, of course. Re-write that profile to tell us the good stuff about you. Quazi: I thank you very much for your concern about me.and after reading what you have said to me,it brought tears in my eyes. thinking back on all those years 13 years in total I have felt this way.Life was very hard for me living through the relationship with her.I did feel that I am not wanted any more by her but I kept biting my lip for the sake of the children to grow up with two parents.Her actions and her words seriously had a lot of effects on me,about 19 months ago to be told that two religion don't mix and two cultures don't mix.therefore thats why she chose to have a relationship with a male from her culture from indigenous back ground.That really upset me a lot to tell me this after 18 years of relationship.It was very hard for me to except.and those words made me feel the way I feel now hopeless. I'd like to suggest that you get some help for yourself....to help deal with the situation. Unless you're Jack the Ripper, you don't need to talk sh*t about yourself. Quazi:Yes you are 100% correct when I discovered she was having an affair behind my back,yes I did break down.And thought life is not worth living anymore .I was on the verge of committing suicide.The the thought did come to me.But I held back thinking of my children ,Where would they be with out me being around for them.And life is much more expensive to give it away for some thing like that. for 17 days I was not able to eat only one piece of weet-bix a day but I was smoking and drinking a lot of coffee.Sleep wise I was lucky to get 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night.and thats with sleeping pills.Quazi ,theough this breakdown of marriage I have lost a lot of material things, but those material things can be replaced which I did.I mean my self and the children were forced to leave our home with only the clothes and thats it.and it happened on boxing day, a day after Xmas. now almost two years later we now have a brand new home and all brand new furniture and all house needs.Thanks to my Psychologist whom he helped me pull through this tuff time.I did ask him that I needed help bad,every week for the first six months.Now I have a full time job plus raising my three children on my own some times it does get tuff for me .But I build my confidence and self esteem on the children that they need me.Quazi I will change my profile soon,and once again thank you for your concern and I wish there are a lot of people like you around not judgmental. I will leave you with this Why a mother is so important to the children: God picked you out from all the rest because god knew you'd be the best God picked just you,not any other to be the one who'd be the children's mother God knew that they'd need some one strong to guide them throughout their life's long God knew your patient tender love so god sent you from heaven above God knew you have a lion heart would never, with your children part God knew your qualities,one and all And god was right,you are, the best-mother of all. Yes you are a mother.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

"LOVE" What is love and"WHAT"it's values. Posted: 11/10/2008 3:36:10 AM
Are there two kinds of love.one for the partner and one for the children.does love have limits,boundaries.how many categories does love consists of.I have always known when you love your partner.you love them till eternity even though there was a break down of relationship that love would not die as long as they live.My question is, can any gender claims to falls in-n-out of love so easy.If so how can this issue be dealt with,specially when one person suffers of an illness and an illegal substance user.I am trying to understand my ex partner how could she claim that she is in love with her partner and yet had 5 fall outs with him in a period of two year relationship with him.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 839 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 11/9/2008 2:11:35 AM
sans and quazi Iknow from reading through this thread and others regarding BPD as you know I have posted my story.what I would like to know is the ages when it was discovered or been told about it that you have.and further more I have read some where on the net. That people who usually suffer from this disorder in their younger ages they tend to live out of it by the age 45 and onwards is that true I don't have the illness but my ex has.And I can say that i have been helping her a lot when she is down financially.But some times I feel that I am not been appreciated and I feel what ever I do for her that I owe it to her.Thats how she makes me feel.I mean she does say thank you but I can feel it.it is only from the surface not from the heart,then it makes me feel that I am been used.I try explaining my feelings to her but she just stands there and say nothing.And further more I have read an article that BPD,Are a master of deception well you the hit the nail on it's head bulls eye.Thats how I have been feeling,and it comes in cycles I some times do predict when it is going to happen.Like i mentioned before we had 20 year relation ship an d in the last 13 years it was like a roller coaster.She did leave us with no reason 28 times and i always took her back hoping that our relation will get better. It does in the first three weeks then back to the usual destruction.Then I was able to predict when she is to leave us again.Some times it became like a pattern every school holidays she used to call me on my mobile and say I'm not coming home.Then i say what about the children,who is going to pick them up from school.She then says for me to do it.After a while I have got used to it.Then i have to give up my work and stay home looking after the children the first she left my youngest son was six months old,that time he was in day care center .Then the cycle continued for the rest 13 years.Is it true that desertion happens in a cycle like she did.I don't know I guess I've yet to find the answer. I would like to know wether it is ,or not from the people who suffer from this illness.In the last 15 months I have been doing a lot of reading from the net regarding this illness I have the utmost sympathy thoughts and feeling to the people who lives in this illness I know they did not bring it upon to them selves by choice but been raised in the environment that led them to suffer this destructive illness.I hear of people once you hear a person is suffering from this illness to run away as fast as you can,how ill minded selfish unthoughtfull people they are.rather than lending a hand to help. repent to god he who can help.thank you all.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Broken Posted: 11/8/2008 6:38:05 AM
Carolann 0308 why are you picking on me, ok I get your drift, we are all not perfect as you may sound to be, so what if I'm in the wrong thread. Please don't be so bossy,calm down chill-out, people can make mistakes.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 142 (view)

Would you give up custody of your kids and move away just to be with a new partner? Posted: 11/8/2008 6:17:39 AM
People Readers And Members I like to share with you few Poems Some are mine,and some are not.But I like to hear your thought about them and thats why mothers are important for young and old children to be around with.Iwill start of with this one first then continue with the rest later depending on your response. SUCH A PLACE Such a place holds no one except for three children so dear Such a place Can't be entered within your heart right here Such a place is held special And brims with over flowing love Such a place Can't be touched it's gods gift from heavens above Such a place Can't be broken nor battered with life's pains Such a place on it's own will always eternally reign Such a place even friendship and love can not take Such a place is locked bound with chains,no man can break Such a place Can't be be lost nor replaced,by no one ,no other Such a place is in your heart is held as the children's mother With confidence and commitments you will always be a MOTHER. There is no one no other very gentle and sweet yes you are a mother Lies and deceit will never succeed Truth forte and happiness will excel Well I did write these poems to my ex when she first abandoned the children and took off with this guy tried to warn her about him and that she is making a big mistake.No she did not respond at all she was too much in love with the guy who she just met and fell in love with instantly.Love at first sight. Some people may say that she did not abandoned the children.she left the father. I am not angry,sad,nor upset,that she left me.On the contrary I am very happy about that she decided to leave the relationship,but some people do say you leave your relationship for better,not for worse and that's what she did she left the relationship for worse.The reason I'm happy that she left now is that I am only 45 years of age and still young and I can still start all over again.but it would have been very difficult for me had she left when I'm in my sixties.Call me dum call me stupid and call me what ever you want of what I continue to do support her financially whilst still in a relationship with her boyfriend.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

You Might as well face it your Addicted to.....................Another ! Posted: 11/8/2008 4:54:11 AM
msg 14 Man she was using you big time she had no attraction for you at all you were just her comfort zone and she would most probably had you on puppet string she knew that.but hey don't get me wrong I'm not putting you down at all on the contrary you did the best thing is to listen to your daughter I guess your daughter would have seen it coming in the first week she moved in with you some times we need to listen to our children more often.but good on ya you stuck with your daughter even though you sound like you were in love with the woman. I wish there's more parents both sexes listen to their children. I guess this is why the cycle keeps repeating it self.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

You Might as well face it your Addicted to.....................Another ! Posted: 11/8/2008 4:26:28 AM
msg 10 I complement you about what you said you could not be even more truth full about it.PEOPLE INPUT has a lot to do with couple's relationship. like my situation my ex besy friend once said to me since the your children dislikes what their mother is doing .the mother then should not waist any more time on them .she might as well get on with her life alone.these words came out of a person who's her 14 year old son smokes pot and drinks alcahol with her 17 year old daughter who also smokes pot and drinks and now she is pregnant to some guy she recently met and her husband is a drug dealer what a nice family to take advise from .this person has ruined my life i have lost every thing but thank god i have my three children with me . why she did that all out of jealousy.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

You Might as well face it your Addicted to.....................Another ! Posted: 11/7/2008 5:24:14 AM
pookie: It is a fear of being lonely.like my ex 20 years of relationship down the gurgler.without any explanation at all I had to find out the answers the hard way. It was nice and cool here in sydney till about 11pm turning to be a little humid.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Broken Posted: 11/6/2008 9:32:50 PM
RE: msg (8) i could not help but to write areply to you comment on this forum .But correct me if I'm wrong aren't you the same person who left your children with their father to raise them .And I beleive you said that you did not leave your children but you left their father and it wasn't for an other man.Well correct me if I'm wrong lady but I feel you did abondened your children for a lover,it sounds this way abd it can never be interpeted in any other ways,for a simple reasonyou do sound that you have a mental problem ,and I'm talking from experience ,but the big problem is that you do not aknowledge the mental problem you have is as serious than what you think it is.thinking what you have does not have any burden with the close to you.Iam sorry to say the people around you specialy your husband and children and forget relatives for the time being are deeply hurt by your actions and ignorence of being selfish and not getting serious help you tend to blame all the destruction didpointment let downs break downs on to some body else that caused you to act this way.Well you are dead set wrong lady get help and be serious about it and life will look so good and happy for you in the future.beleive me iit is true and the only thing that your life is not happy is that you do aknowledge your mental status it is serious .Let me just say this and answer it in all honesty when you met this man you thought he is your soul mate and life will never exists with out him he is every thing to you good for your confidence and agrees with every thing you say he walks along side of you cuddles you gives you light kisses and says that he can not be apart from you any time of the day he just needed to be along side of you and further more that you look so beautiful to me .Well i bet you were not getting this pep taklk from the father of your kids you thought he is so ugly and feels ugly to you and talks ugly to you and makes you feel sick to the stomack that you will vomit .Well lady thats why this soul mate of yours did not last very long with you .Do you know why ,Well I guess you stated that you do not know why he dumped you .I have to be cruel to say the truth but it is fact and from experience it was all lust in the begining because it was different and further-more he used you for his own selfish desires sexually that is and once the ice had meltted the s,,h,i,t started to rise .You will experience this life style with any man that you will meet in the future and will have the result always until you start to except responsibilties as it is at the moment I can't see that you are a very responsible person for startes your children should have been under your wings where ever you go and secondly you thought who will take you in with extra baggage (you children) no man will do that .So please take my advise and admitt your self into heath instituation and get proffessional help .And one more important aspect to stick by .THE TRUTH YES SPEAK THE TRUTH AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS FOR YOUR DOWN FALLS.G ood luck lady hope I didnot offend you in witch way but honestly the truth does hurt.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 129 (view)

Would you give up custody of your kids and move away just to be with a new partner? Posted: 11/5/2008 11:12:43 PM
BRADD in my opinion you were wrong to tell her the truth about her.she expected you to be on her side and support what she says.because if she had any moral she would not let a lover apart with her children. I beleive she gave her heart to this new guy thinking every thing would be great and loving relation because every is new to her not thinking once the ice melt s,h,i,t, will rise the truth about her lover ,she may have thought she lives in a domestic relation ship I beleive that is a lie, woman are, treated the way they want to be treated thats I beleive .on equal values .this woman is carrying a cycle.meaning that my ex her grand mother put her children in an orphanage and took on a lesbian relation ship,my ex mother had 5 children to 4 different fathers in wedlock because every one in her town was teasing her as a lesbian to prove them wrong she was then the slut of the town .now my ex god knows how many affairs she had behind my back whilst we were in a relation ship she only told me of five in the last 4 years but I know there is more.So next time when she calls if does just listen to what she has to say because it took her a lot of courage to make that phone call .DO NOT ARGUE with her and tell her how you feel about what she did because i beleive she is in grief of what she had done and don't need to be told nor reminded of it .

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 128 (view)

Would you give up custody of your kids and move away just to be with a new partner? Posted: 11/5/2008 10:49:57 PM
Sweetness it ain't love.those people don't know the word meaning of love it is called LUST.

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Best position for vaginal orgasm ? Posted: 11/5/2008 10:38:37 PM
hahahahahahahahaha that was funny I like that

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Best position for vaginal orgasm ? Posted: 11/5/2008 10:37:30 PM
Buy DAVID SHADE .books there are so many ways a woman can have orgasms hope this might help

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 824 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 11/5/2008 10:31:38 PM
I lived with one for 20 years went through hell and still in hell she never told me that she had BPD when we met but over the years our relation-ship became like a roller coaster.We have three teenagers .thanks god that i have the children with me .people who suffer from this ilness don't have any values for family but on the other hand they befriend friends as their mentors could not step out of line with their friends .during the 20 year relation-ship in the first six years i have never could imagine that our relation ship will result to what it is right now .Like every one else who had experience with people who have BPD i have done every thing even bit my lip so hard over the years i therefore have no lip to bite any more .As I once been told by a mental health doctor people with this illness you can draw up a contract and they sign it over hundred times till the next day it means nothing to them then i was told to stop beating my head against a brick wall and face the music .people with this illness are unstable self destructive beyond the limits and can not stay in arelation-ship for long period of time.they needed to explore all other avennues and they are on illegal substances . And thats what my wife was on and will never give it up because she needed to keep her head numb all the times through out the day I mean her habbit was almost to $400 aweek .and thats a lot of money.in order to finance the habbit ,things started to disappear from the house ,for instance i ask her where is my power tools have gone simple answer she (I don't know) like a cam recorder went missing with my father last dying moments was on the tapr and that camera vanished,i bought her a $3000 24 carrot gold braclet .when i asked her to wear it on an outing the was(i don't know i later found out she sold it for $300 to a pawn broker .It costed me $900 for the loan and intrest .well you may ask did I have an argument with her NO I didn't.Until now she has been in a 2 year relation ship with a guy who are both compatiable And alrady had 5 fall outs which she left him from previous experience she used to blame for every that goes and that she found her soul-mate nothing could go wrong .Well I let answer that your self It has been now 5 weeks since she spoke to the children.This is nothing compare to other times the longest was 6 months I can not imagine how could the barrier of those children can stay that long without speaking to her children I mean from my self i can not go to work every morning with out saying good morning to my children even when to go to bed.I don't understand how is it possible for her to do that.well i think i said enough.people with BPD they usualy keep it hidden from others .

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 168 (view)

borderline personality disorder-any info? Posted: 11/5/2008 7:39:47 AM
You summed it up very sassy .well I lived with my partner for 20 years went through hell with her I have three children to the relation-ship which now they are in my care yes I suffered a lot been blamed as the villan for all her doings yes she had neumerous accounts of affairs whilist in the relation-ship not relising what is been happening she can hide very well and the lies she tells very convincing that it is very true I took her back so many times about 28 times even though when she formed a relation-ship with another guy I still took her back thinking that she will get better and hoping one day our lives will return for the better. Iwas wrong I rescued her so many times even stuck by her when addmited to hospital on three ocassions every day I was along side of her I nursed her I looked after her I gave a lot of T.L.C hoping that she will recover from the illness.Yet again I was wrong again . The worst thing about the whole affair is that she is denial of all the distruction. It so sad to see some one destroy their live and yet turn to people who encourages them in doing so she idolize friends who support her doing and yet have no values for family I lived with all those years not knowing the truth about her nor her family which been kept secret and very well.Until now the truth starting to come out into the open.some times people say they to leave her on her own and start a new relation-ship with some one else .i afree to acertain degree but I start wondering how can she survive with this mentall ilness on her own .therefore I assured that I will always be for her she is part of my limbs I tell her .I keep asking my self why do I keep rescuing her enough is enough but i keep going back on my words.I realy don't have an answer at all.But some times I do tell my self if some thing bad is to happen to her that my children will blame me for not been there for her she is there mother after all.I did post a topic about what I had experienced with her over those years .some people critisize me for taking her back .Which may effect the children in the future.Because of my weakness and soft heart I simply can't say no more rescuing her.some people may say that Iam sick or mental for taking her back .Iam sorry to say to those people they have no idea what I have suffered living with her.Yes she does take drugs Weed and very heavy and drinks alcahol .But what frustate me is that I keep telling that we are suffering from the drugs she is taking And yet she says she is not hurting any-one but her self by taking drugs And it is hard to live with .It has been 2 years since she formed a relation-ship with this guy and already she had 5 fall outs with him. It has been hard for me to let go and Iam still in greif 20 years in a relation-ship it is very hard to turn away from and get over it.Every day I go to sleep with a headache and wake up with a headache.I did get proffesional help at the begining ,of last 2 years and now I suffer from anxiety attacks and depresion I am still on medication and can not live with out it I tried very hard to give up the medication but was unable to function properly at times I couldn't fell to sleep for three days .

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 167 (view)

borderline personality disorder-any info? Posted: 11/5/2008 7:38:17 AM
You summed it up very well I lived with my partner for 20 years went through hell with her I have three children to the relation-ship which now they are in my care yes I suffered a lot been blamed as the villan for all her doings yes she had neumerous accounts of affairs whilist in the relation-ship not relising what is been happening she can hide very well and the lies she tells very convincing that it is very true I took her back so many times about 28 times even though when she formed a relation-ship with another guy I still took her back thinking that she will get better and hoping one day our lives will return for the better. Iwas wrong I rescued her so many times even stuck by her when addmited to hospital on three ocassions every day I was along side of her I nursed her I looked after her I gave a lot of T.L.C hoping that she will recover from the illness.Yet again I was wrong again . The worst thing about the whole affair is that she is denial of all the distruction. It so sad to see some one destroy their live and yet turn to people who encourages them in doing so she idolize friends who support her doing and yet have no values for family I lived with all those years not knowing the truth about her nor her family which been kept secret and very well.Until now the truth starting to come out into the open.some times people say they to leave her on her own and start a new relation-ship with some one else .i afree to acertain degree but I start wondering how can she survive with this mentall ilness on her own .therefore I assured that I will always be for her she is part of my limbs I tell her .I keep asking my self why do I keep rescuing her enough is enough but i keep going back on my words.I realy don't have an answer at all.But some times I do tell my self if some thing bad is to happen to her that my children will blame me for not been there for her she is there mother after all.I did post a topic about what I had experienced with her over those years .some people critisize me for taking her back .Which may effect the children in the future.Because of my weakness and soft heart I simply can't say no more rescuing her.some people may say that Iam sick or mental for taking her back .Iam sorry to say to those people they have no idea what I have suffered living with her.Yes she does take drugs Weed and very heavy and drinks alcahol .But what frustate me is that I keep telling that we are suffering from the drugs she is taking And yet she says she is not hurting any-one but her self by taking drugs And it is hard to live with .It has been 2 years since she formed a relation-ship with this guy and already she had 5 fall outs with him. It has been hard for me to let go and Iam still in greif 20 years in a relation-ship it is very hard to turn away from and get over it.Every day I go to sleep with a headache and wake up with a headache.I did get proffesional help at the begining ,of last 2 years and now I suffer from anxiety attacks and depresion I am still on medication and can not live with out it I tried very hard to give up the medication but was unable to function properly at times I couldn't fell to sleep for three days .

mickuandme

Joined: 12/26/2007

Msg: 170 (view)

Why do girls go for a**holes? Posted: 11/4/2008 1:01:02 AM
hey shawn wake up and look around you,have you ever heard of being** and funny at the same time.Well your girl don;t need to be treated nice in the bedroom ,and thats where it all starts you must have said the wrong words ,which eventually turned off by you ,girls likes to be treated in a** way make them beg for you,and you need to be the dominant person you take control.girls don't like wuess guys and thats what you are you crawl up to her all to her all the time thinking that you doing the right thing by her.wake up the more you behave like a wuess the further you driving her away from you.you need to be in control.you need talk dirty to her in the right time and the right mood.and most of all you need her to surrender to you,stop buying her any thing make her work for it if she is worth it. ignore her at some times be straight forward with her don't have any remorse and stop telling her how you feel about her (e.g.i feel so close to you when you are around and i miss you every minute of the day when i;m not around you )ekkkhhhh phewwwww.)STOP she does not want to hear that from you.she is loosing attraction for you think about it when you first met ,how was she every thing about you was all new to her now you are becoming old and lame she needs some thing new.a spark to keep her coming back for more.(LAUGHTER)yes (LAUGHTER)thats what the other person has and you don't have any more girls like guys to make fun of them selves and not feel embarased about it and make her laugh you will get her attention and don't spin like a record repeating the same thing over and over again keep her in suspence i have been there trust me and i have learnt the hard way 20 years of relation-ship and she leaves me for a B... hole guy sleeping on a single bed for 2 years and can't afford to buy her a $2.00 garment .you can imagine what i mean and she preffered to stay with him and i learnt why did she do that he makes her laugh because both are stoned on illegal drugs thats what she liked about him and she feels very attracted to him prepared to do any thing for him they recycle smoked cigaretes out of an ashtray and thats fine her she is madly in love with him. yes i did exactly what you did but her expensive clothes car always has plenty of money on her she gave it all away.he fills her up with dreams different ideas almost every day and never deliver keeps her in suspence never answers her question tries to avoid the real issue by turning her attention to some thing else that he got control of her with.i don;t want to go on any further but I hope I have been any help to you if you want know more post it and i will try to help further happy days to come .

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