How do I learn to enjoy being alone? chat & forums.

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Thread: How do I learn to enjoy being alone?

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

How do I learn to enjoy being alone? Posted: 5/11/2008 2:27:11 PM
No one likes a quitter :P

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

One for the girls/ Thong Underwear Posted: 5/11/2008 6:01:25 AM
I have a bit of a knicker fetish and have many pairs of all kinds. The only kinds I don't like are the almost boxer ones. I wear them depending on my mood and outfit. I never really got the concept though of not wanting people to know you are wearing knickers. You want people to think you're going comando?? It's also surprising just how many many like VPL's so if you're trying to attract a man haha!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

How do I learn to enjoy being alone? Posted: 5/11/2008 5:56:24 AM
You can enjoy being alone and still get lonely. They just get used to it I guess and that's sad. It's like you've given up.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 104 (view)

A bum of a question Posted: 5/11/2008 5:03:32 AM
What exactly would be the point in arguing with a drunk bum? Further more why is she so bothered by a bums opinion any way? He's a bum! Not exactly one to talk. What would she have done should you have subsequently been arrested after getting in a fight? Fun way to end your holiday. I would have been glad you chose 2.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Why do my insecurities get in the way every time Posted: 5/11/2008 4:55:00 AM
You're not alone here. I feel like that all the time al though I tend to find I put up with a lot of shit for fear of being irrational and the flip out when it all builds up. I guess you just have to try your hardest not to be afraid of getting hurt. It's all experience to gaining your goal. It doesn't also help that the only advice I get, whenever I ask, is "leave that ass" or "Don't put up with that, you're worth so much more". Comments like those are not really helpful in solving the situation.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

lack of confidence Posted: 5/5/2006 1:13:07 AM
Simple answer is no. You just exhaust yourself trying yo make them feel better.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

never had a girlfriend Posted: 5/5/2006 1:03:03 AM
If you check, I think this person has been deleted so no point posting. Not sure it was a genuine post any way.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

where bout wud u the sexiest guys and girls live! Posted: 5/5/2006 12:38:06 AM
There are good looking people everywhere. The question should be how do you find them.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Candle wax? Posted: 3/17/2006 4:35:48 AM
Well I can't be bothered to google it - Explain please - in graphic detail!!! It's when you pour hot candle wax on yourself or partner for pleasure.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Candle wax? Posted: 3/17/2006 4:34:29 AM
Ok, am I the only one who thinks it doesn't really hurt?? It's like holding a hot mug of tea in a way. It's not something I do all the time but I'm not against it. Some people like it because it heightens sensitivity, though I wouldn't say that's the case with me. Each to his or her own I guess.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

am i selfish to expect a guy to move to my island Posted: 3/17/2006 4:05:07 AM
I've done the same thing amd believe me after a while they start to resent you for it. It's better to be either open to discussion or find someone who actually would like to move which isn't entirely impossible. If you care for someone you should make it it a mutual choice when the time comes to make it. Not set in stone from the start. Maybe it's not selfish but you might miss out on something good for not wishing to negotiate. But that just my tuppence worth.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

ok gang, its getting near to christmas - favour xmas song and why Posted: 12/5/2005 10:44:38 AM
Mines: All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey I know alot of people hate her but I just love that song.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

What women want...... Posted: 11/15/2005 10:13:35 AM
So I'm not the only one with a knicker fetish?? I'm not really for the shoes or handbags but I could knicker shop for England. Yes, thats what I want a man that buys me under wear that I actually like and which is not 2 sizes too small or big LMAO

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

What women want...... Posted: 11/14/2005 8:54:55 AM
Geez you guys are harsh! Not all women are after your money! Maybe instead of over analysing everything you should just go withthe flow and do what feels right. If it doesn't work try something else. It's hard to figure out you guys too you know! And just to clarify we do happen to be the same species as you Someone made a comment saying our species was hard to work out.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

What women want...... Posted: 11/10/2005 3:36:56 AM
Hmmm, I'm afraid it's not as simple as that. Each girl is unique and thus want's different things. Most of the time we don't even conciously know what we want so it's pointless asking us. I guess it's best you stick to thinking about what you want and then seeing how we fit, bit like a jigsaw really All a bit hit and miss and trial and error but you get there eventually.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Frontin' Posted: 7/7/2005 4:17:55 PM
Yup my ex was a typical case only he managed to keep it up for a year

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Can it ever be more than friends?? Posted: 6/30/2005 5:16:13 AM
I think I'd be too scared to risk a friendship by dating. Even then though they may get offended when you say you should just stay friends.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

How important are first impressions to you? Posted: 6/30/2005 4:22:15 AM
First impressions do count for a lot. Especially if it was big things that put you off. Somethings just can't be dealt with and you have to say NO!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Big Women Date Too Posted: 6/30/2005 2:30:07 AM
Thankies! I'm glad you agree

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Big Women Date Too Posted: 6/30/2005 12:44:15 AM
I been through alot of threads on here where people are complaining about/discussing/annoyed about how they can not find a man woman because they are too big. I'm not by any means what you would call slim. Big boobs and ass run in my family! I date, they date, in fact I see many big men and women in relationships all the time. It's not about how people see you, it's about how you see yourself. If you think your hideous (an over exageration!), who can convince you otherwise??? Feeling deserving of love is an important part of finding it! People everywhere find love. Big, small, black, white, asian... I just wanted to let people realise theres equal hope for everyone!!! Good Luck in your quests!!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Writing in CAPITAL LETTERS Posted: 6/30/2005 12:33:13 AM
I mean I'd rather be beat up on the internet than beet up downtown. You get beat up on the internet??? Maybe I'm just an amature pedant. I think it's important we try and use the English language properly or it will be lost forever. To many people tlk lk dis lrdy!! (Talk like this for those chat speak virgins). I don't know about you guys but I can barely read that stuff!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Writing in CAPITAL LETTERS Posted: 6/29/2005 4:34:55 PM
LOL, now that I just find amusing. Caps are just plain rude. It doesn't take 2 secs to hit caps lock off!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

So ... am I too stuck up ? Posted: 6/29/2005 9:20:00 AM
I can't actually imagine that this person doesn't try and make their partner feel good. I've never been out with anyone who didn't try and do that any way.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

WHATS THE DEAL Posted: 6/29/2005 6:59:37 AM
Gonna have to be careful now, ordering sausage may imply your gay lol LMAO

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

PERHAPS MEN ARE SCARED?? Posted: 6/29/2005 6:58:50 AM
If they're that insecure... who needs em???

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 88 (view)

worse thing anybody said to you before they broke your heart. Posted: 6/29/2005 6:42:35 AM
Worst thing anyone said to me was "I love you" I was like then WTF are you breaking up with me then??

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

So ... am I too stuck up ? Posted: 6/29/2005 6:39:16 AM
I've no idea. Have you tried asking them?? I'm getting no negative signs from your profile. Don't give up the right girl is out there! Your a good looking guy someone will snap you up soon enough and you will wonder why you were worried.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

being threated like a lady Posted: 6/29/2005 6:15:57 AM
To me it's like being treated like you are THE most important thing. It's nice to feel special. If they're asking to be treated like a lady you should expect them to treat you well too. Not be a doormat. Like people have said before me. Not looking at other women, paying attention when you talk, helping you on with your coat, opening your car door... All things that just show your making extra special effort to please making her feel special and scoring you some serious brownie points! Don't forget to be yourself though!!! So my rating is 2, yeah it's nice but it's not super expected.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Writing in CAPITAL LETTERS Posted: 6/29/2005 5:40:45 AM
Is it just me or do you find it offensive when people write mesages in all caps?? It's like shouting constantly and I find it puts me off a person unless I know they have specific reason (IE they're at work) I know it seems silly but a reasonable attempt at spelling and grammar make me happy... Discuss, bash, w/e lol

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Can it ever be more than friends?? Posted: 6/29/2005 5:02:26 AM
As a general rule does friendship into lovers work?? Or even vice versa?? I find that the two are very seperate boxes. If you're in the friend box that's where you stay. However lots of my friends will be friends with them then possibly date or become FWB (friends with benefits). I've never stayed friends with an ex either. Too messy for me. What do you guys think??

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

game or not a game that is the question Posted: 6/29/2005 4:51:44 AM
When you say you want someone not to play games I don't think that classifies as a game. If someone told me the loved me after 2 weeks I would feel a little odd but I don't want them to act like they don't care. It's a fine line. I think what they want is not to get heavy too soon. Not quite the same as playing games, no.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

I wish i was what you wanted Posted: 6/29/2005 4:36:53 AM
Once you learn to love yourself it's only a matter of time before someone will find they love you. You can't expect anyone to love you when you have little love for yourself. Don't try to be what they want. Make your own rules. A woman who is self assured is very attractive. Continually doubting yourself or trying to changw to suit the person your with will not benefit you in the long run. Nurture your inner beauty and let it guide you to the right person who will love and nurture the REAL you.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Whats the worst first date you've had? Posted: 6/29/2005 4:26:06 AM
Wow devil angel! Looks like you had a lucky escape. Worst date I ever went on was when I was a lot younger. He pulled up to my house and I went out and told him I'd be 5 more minutes. Went back in grabbed some stuff. Tol;d my mom where I was going, gave car reg (to be safe... hmmm read on) and went out. Car was gone. I was baffled. So I called him. He said he'd gone round the corner and was coming back. So I waited. When he get's back I get in the car and he looks at me and say's you look odd. I frown at him then determine he's joking and laugh. So I ask where we are going. He tells me a little place in Wanstead. Some where I know quite well. So we drive off and after a while we slow down and stop in a car park near a forrest and pond. I'm like WTF, why are we stopping here??? He just wants to talk he says. By this point I was getting mad. So I told him take me home if we're not going anywhere. Then he asks me if I ever had sex in a car before and pops my seat. Total reflex I smacked him hard in the face. Guess it shocked him. He mumbled an apology and took me home. I had a lucky break there. I'll never do that again...

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 66 (view)

Is having online sex considered cheating on ur partner..views pls Posted: 6/29/2005 3:50:37 AM
I'd go ballistic! In an honest open relationship you shouldn't hide things like that. If it's something you want to do you should be honest.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

POF based solely on photos? Posted: 6/29/2005 2:44:08 AM
Many of the guys i write to have no pic and send one afterwards. I base it mostly on profile though. Having a nice pic then having a profile that says: About me: SEX First date: SEX Doesn't inspire me to talk to that person at all. But an inteligent profile can say alot. It's not shallow to want to see the person you could potentially be dating. It's common sense. You need to be just a little attracted to the person your talking to.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Ok, I dont want to scare her off Posted: 6/28/2005 11:35:17 AM
I'm always right

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Posted: 6/28/2005 11:31:07 AM
It is better to have loved and lost definately. It's a feeling I would never want to have missed out on even though all that hurt came afterwards breaking up. To have lived life without ever having loved would be a waste.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Ok, I dont want to scare her off Posted: 6/28/2005 11:26:30 AM
It's a toughie, different people have different impressions of comittment. Prehaps try doing something which shows faith in a long relationship. Allowing her to keep something of your sometimes works. Scheduling specific time to "be" together is good also. I guess you should just go with the flow.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Not exclusive, yet not wanting to date others Posted: 6/28/2005 11:17:37 AM
Depends what you mean by seeing. If I am just seeing how it goes with someone and it's not exclusive (AND i've told them this), I don't have a problem with seeing more than one person. Who's to say each will work out?? As soon as one get vaguely serious you stop.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

what do you ladies rather? Posted: 6/28/2005 11:09:23 AM
What everyone said is right. Just be yourself. Let the person fall for the real you not some pretence you can't ever keep up.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

WHATS THE DEAL Posted: 6/28/2005 11:05:14 AM
^^^^How does that mean casual sex! That doesn't mean she doesn't want a serious relationship either. It's very hard to guage one way or the other and I have been in her position many times. People saying one thing but meaning another. Just because you have a healthy sexual appetite doesn't mean your into short term, casual sex or one night stands! If you put Long Term that's what you should mean. End of.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Salary Posted: 6/28/2005 6:12:46 AM
^^^^^ Hehehe good one! I guess the only people who really have a problem with it are people who earn less. Not that I'm saying it's right. Women are attracted to men that are financially secure but doesn't mean that's the only thing they go for full stop. They're gonna think twice about a man shallow enough to state his salary unless they're in it for one thing only... Cold hard cash.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Wow try being a few extra pounds an disabled, dating then is fun.... Posted: 6/26/2005 12:02:36 AM
It saddens me to think how many people are being missed out on simply because they are disabled. My Mom is deaf and has the same issue. Once she say's "you'll have to repeat that I'm deaf" they run a friggin mile!!! She's a nice caring person, attractive, caring and this one percieved flaw is that she is deaf. I mean come on, would it hurt to at least be open minded about it? Maybe my family is different. My sister dates a guy who's deaf with disabilities, my ex was a wheelchair user. So if we can, surely others could try it?

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Fixing a broken heart Posted: 6/25/2005 11:55:55 PM
I know it doesn't seem like it now but think of yourself as being lucky. It could have gone on for years with you missing the person who IS right for you! I went through a similar thing beating myself up about it, feeling devastated. In the end though, I know they did me a favour by not prolonging it. Now I can get out there and meet someone new. Maybe not Mr Right yet but who knows!! At the end of the day, knowing the sort of person they are now, would you have ever gotten with them??? You deserve better and you will find it!! Good Luck on your quest!! And booze and drugs are NOT the answer!!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

What's THE most important aspect of a guy/girl you look for in dating... Posted: 6/25/2005 11:38:56 PM
This may sound shallow, but I have to like the look of them. Thats not to say they have to be drop dead gorgeous, just easy on the eye. That said, I usually see someones inner beauty shine out their face and THAT is what attracts me to them. Personality wise, a sense of humour that likens mine is essential! EDIT: Ooh taller than me is good too!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

NO Shows Posted: 6/25/2005 11:32:54 PM
That kinda sucks. If I'm at all unsure I tell the person let's leave it a while. Not just leave them hanging cos I know I wouldn't want it to happen to me. Some people are shit if they do stuff like that!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Freaking out when you remember something Posted: 6/25/2005 11:29:40 PM
Well I can't say I have ever done that but I do know people who've done it. Go figure!!

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

Problem with these sites is they attract insecure people Posted: 6/25/2005 11:16:40 PM
I do think some people have insecurity issues but I don't think that can be said for most people. Alot of people you meet in real life cover their insecurities by loud and brash behavior which you take to be exhuberance for life... at first! I like many tried POF as I was sick of the alternatives. Go to a bar, be hit on by some guy who's been making the rounds, put up with many unintelligible or just plain unintelligent chat up lines and then come home with having met no one special. I mean I don't tend to hang out in bars/clubs/pubs so is that really where I am going to meet my match???

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

How much time do you spend online at POF? Posted: 6/25/2005 1:56:49 AM
Now I've found the forums I pop by everyday for a few hours. Read a few, have a giggle reply to any mail I got. Time seems to fly! I do, do other stuff given the oppurtunity though. Right now have a sprained ankle so POF is keeping me entertained.

starry1

Joined: 6/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Have you or would you get an STD check before sex ??? Posted: 6/22/2005 12:02:58 PM
Well I think it's very important to get checked out between partners. Especially if you suspected he/she wasn't faithful. Yeah contraception is also important but risks are still there. If someone wanted me to get checked out I'd be cool with it.

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