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Author
Thread: ZERO% alcohol for all drivers.... how would that effect your social life?
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
41 (
view
)
ZERO% alcohol for all drivers.... how would that effect your social life?
Posted:
11/23/2009 1:51:51 PM
Lol they used to have one of them at our local club, it got removed as too many idiots were having competitions to see who could get the highest reading. Australians will turn anything into a sport
This machine only reads .. to 1.00?..... as top reading... (and cannot be used as a reliable legal source.. ie if cops pull you up and you read differently.. the machine is no defence..)
I think it's more just to check if your in legal limits..
I've yet to see it.. ....at the different levels of reading up to 1.00..
besides oo000
If it did.. have actual ranges.. I wonder if the bar staff could use it.. on patrons to refuse further service.. as evidence?...
In Lismore they were talking or have set up.. a bus for late night.. drinkers to get home...(I assume because no taxis at that time)
The club.. has a volunteer pick up..drop of bus.. for members...
I wonder how long in rural areas.. pubs will adopt this as well.. ... simply to keep business...
watching .. the value of pubs decline.. re their investment... ... is a reality.. for various reasons..... maybe they will put in chill out rooms...
cause to get alcohol out of your system to drive.. can take hours.. regardless of how much water you drink...
That's why I'm thankful for the lift I got.. simply because it was sooooooo hot..unbearably so....
He knew I needed to get home.. to get cool.out of overheating...
and obviously.. I won't make that mistake again..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
46 (
view
)
Freddo Frogs
Posted:
11/23/2009 1:23:00 PM
An order of $1000 in costs was made in favour of the defendant.
The child has been given money...
Some media these days is essentially just gossip....... and like a small town... facts are not needed .. for people to spread it/talk it... without knowing facts...
surely people know by now.. once some thing sensationilised.. hits the media... its like virus marketing...... and those that donot rely on facts or checking from 3 sources...
are just spreading ..gossip..virus marketing...
In other words..... 1.... a sensation gossip story will be realesed.. those who.. respond... without facts..... spread it.....
2.. another follow up will be released... possibly..... adding a fact or 2... which tones down the orginal.. sensation...
then 3........ some of the truth will come out...
I reckon.... threads.. interest.. might be better served... at point 3 of a story/event.....
then the obvious..... sensation gossip stage...
in other words..... wait until at least some facts.. if they can be... are apparent...
but apparently.. some people.. prefer gossip/sensation.... and why virus marketing works so well....
In this case... nooone can know the exact facts.. in this particular case.... simply because he is a minor and his details.. should be kept private....
ITs now cost.... tax payers.... and now the child gets $1,000...... so what did it teach him?.. or other children?
Media.. should use integrity/society best interests... not... marketing ploys...
but that's not the real world is it?.. ... some....people like gossip/drama.
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
41 (
view
)
Freddo Frogs
Posted:
11/23/2009 3:44:01 AM
Boy, 12, to fight Freddo charge
Date: November 17 2009
Farah Farouque
AN ABORIGINAL boy, 12, charged with receiving a Freddo frog allegedly shoplifted by a friend from Coles, will return to a children's court in February to fight the charge.
WA Police yesterday stood by its decision to press on with the case after a hearing in Northam Children's Court, about 100 kilometres from Perth. The boy's lawyer, Peter Collins, will seek to disallow a 19-minute police interview with the boy.
A senior officer from the Northam police station defended police conduct, saying the outcome now lay with the magistrate. ''No one's done anything wrong or tried to make it difficult for the young chap,'' Inspector Colin Murray told The Age.
''It's the way things have worked out for him.''
The boy, who has no prior convictions, is the youngest of nine children.
He also faces a second charge involving receipt of a $5 novelty sign from another store. The small sign was also allegedly given to the boy by his friend, and was inscribed: ''Do not enter, genius at work.'' Both incidents were alleged to have occurred on September 30, at about 4pm.
A ''statement of material facts'' prepared by the constable who detained the boy noted: ''The novelty sign was recovered and returned to the appropriate store by police. The Freddo frog had been consumed before police attendance.''
A chocolate Freddo usually sells for about 70 cents in a Coles store.
In the aftermath, when the boy missed a court date last month due to a family misunderstanding, police arrested him at 8am on a school day. He was then imprisoned for several hours in the holding cell at the police station before being placed before the magistrate.
Mr Collins, chief lawyer of the Aboriginal Legal Service in WA, said the cell was unfit for children. The boy was a ''very shy, softly spoken'' child who was frightened by the court proceedings, he said. The boy lives with his mother, who works as a cleaner.
http://www.smh.com.au/national/boy-12-to-fight-freddo-charge-20091116-iia0.html?skin=text-only
A 12-year-old Aboriginal boy has been awarded costs after charges involving the theft of a chocolate Freddo frog were withdrawn in a West Australian court.
The boy was subject to national media attention this month after being charged with receiving a Freddo frog and a novelty sign.
The items were alleged to have been stolen from stores in the town of Northam, east of Perth.
West Australian Police Commissioner Karl O'Callaghan last week intervened in the case, asking for the two charges to be withdrawn.
Mr O'Callaghan said that, while the laying of the charges was "technically correct", the matter should have been handled by a police Juvenile Justice Team.
A Northam Children's Court officer said today that police had dropped the charges and they had been dismissed by the court.
An order of $1000 in costs was made in favour of the defendant.
Northam police had defended themselves against claims the charges were racially motivated, saying the boy had come to their notice in the past without being charged.
West Australian Aboriginal Legal Service chief lawyer Peter Collins, who acted for the boy, said the charges were "scandalous" and would not have arisen if the boy had come from a "middle class, non-Aboriginal family" in Perth.
AAP
http://www.smh.com.au/national/freddo-charges-dropped-boy-gets-costs-20091123-iui0.html
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
38 (
view
)
ZERO% alcohol for all drivers.... how would that effect your social life?
Posted:
11/22/2009 12:05:16 AM
Years ago.... I had a few beers.. in the late arvo..... mean't to have 1.. but my local... is where people call in/meet randonly... catch up....
so I had .. more than 1... buggar... now I had to sit around for hours.. drinking water.. (which I normally drink a schooner of water.. between drinks).... just to be safe...
Turned into night/band playing.. ... (and here was me drinking schooners of water for hours...)
and It was'nt about getting caught by the police.. it was about being responsible/law....
So someone suggested I flag down the cops.. patrolling the place.. and ask to be breath tested..... (well I wanted to go home to have a farking beer)..
So I did.. I stuck my head in the cops window.. explained the situ.... and asked for a breathe test before driving.... rather than be pulled up down the rd... then get it...
so even trying to do the right/legal thing.....
leaving a pub...... we should in my opinion.. be able to test.. ourselves.. before cops pull you over .. yep 3 steps out... and test you... what's the diff?
the cops.. (nice people)
well...They refused... saying legally they could'nt..... but asked me several questions... (I was tiny weight/height wise..)... and made suggetions...(which I took)
anyhoo. Im an advocate.. to the cops.. everyone... WHY DON"T ALL PUBS>> HAVE A BREATH TESTER INSIDE>>> so people who want to be responsible can?
I mean....... all the laws on .. safe legal serving of alcohol etc.. exist...
Why wait........... until someone gets in their car?... besides revenue?....
So.... I rarely go out..... but a mate had a small gig today.....and wanted support numbers...so I had a few beers.. in this atrocious heat... and usually drink slow...I mean 1 schooner an hour... today..... I drank quick..
I'm overjoyed to find out.. my local... has now installed a
free
breath tester....... yehah... now we can.... use that..... in various body/weights/heights food etc.... to help keep everyone safe.....
So..me? fark I flunked it..... and yer I did a control test.. re bar staff.. and they were 0000
I ate lemon.. drank copiuous amounts of water.... ate peanuts.... ate some of my groceries.. a banana.. etc...(you don't know me.. but I'm usually fairly concious/responsible,... and others notice)
and figured Id' be there for hours... sigh..... A mate...... after I insisted (jokingingly)I needed a designated driver.... and knows I rarely... go out....
God love him..... organised... to drive my car... and a lift to get him back....
so gallantry... decent people.... exist.....
as he said.. I'll always help good people....
still exists...
anyhoo. as I've been cutting down smoking as well. and trying to avoid ... drinkers/heavy smokers.......
He suggested we might go out.. to like the beach ... or something...
He's a real man....nice... thoughtful... (and he would'nt just help anyone...)
and now I'm home I can have a beer....
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
109 (
view
)
Long hair verses short hair
Posted:
11/21/2009 11:50:21 PM
I'm not in anyones "army" anyway...where there is a dress code/hair length inspections and expectations to abide by........
so my hair comes with me...
The beautiful thing about.. life.. well 1.. is..... it's yours... and if your not harming anyone..... it's all good...
And so you should'nt be judged or told what to do with your body.... including hair....
others.... who tend to judge or say.. 'this is how it
should be
.... are trying to impose their.. beliefs or tastes onto others...
sigh...
So I reckon.. beachippy.. .. having long hair... is you.... part of how you see you....
and if it further.. serves... to... block... those people with attitudes/judgements... different to yours... then.. its even more.. wonderful....
My hair is thin/whispy.. also.... (I lost alot of it... many years ago.. through illness)....
I'm happy to have hair...... and although it might be crappy.... need to it for warmth.. and in heat to be able to put it up... for various reasons...(when it's short I can't do that)...if others want to judge me.. cause it.. ain't trendy.. etc... so be it...
They are people..,,,,, I won't get on with anyway...
I married a' short hair'.. .. I mean short....
my ex lover... hair down to his back...
open minds... hearts.. are soooooooooo more appealing than ... .. control freaks... or judgements....
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
63 (
view
)
The love equation
Posted:
11/12/2009 11:06:21 PM
I wonder if any of that made any sense at all. I suppose I will just have to wait for Nana to turn
Just wanted to say.. although quite a few women.. ok.. dykes.. have tried...... Nana ain't ever gunna turn..........
I accept I'll be alone for the rest of my life... but turning.. or batting for the other side... don't interest me....
I will have to answer you later... but agape... would be the foundation...of self love...
you know how they say.. first you need to love yourself before you can love someone else?....... love dose'nt appear out of thin air.. it's either in you..
to share or it's not.......You can't give something to someone if you don't have it...
everyone has a different experience or concept of love..... so it can be hard to even describe,... (cause if someone sees emotion or lust as love.... well they probablly have'nt experienced agape..)
agape.. transcends... human interaction.. (from my experience..).. and it is soooooooo
good.. you could happily choose celebacy.. if you have it.. cause.. it's seriously better.. than.. any human interaction.. (although.. it is what will sustain the human love/commitment...and to experience between humans... is blissful.. and the part in us.. that probably we crave love ... why.. we search..... and why we don't like to settle...if it's not there....)
I think once you've experienced it.. it's hard... to accept... anything less....
same as if someone had experienced passion... and someone else hasn't... they wouldnot know what they were missing out on....it's hard to just accept.. mediocre...
if you have experienced passion or agape..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
14 (
view
)
What's the difference between affectionate and clingy?
Posted:
11/11/2009 2:18:37 PM
Fear and insecurity...within themselves...and no boundaries...within themselves... (ie.. they want to tell you every thought./feeling they ever have....therefore they don't respect others boundaries..... or differences.. = clingy
People have lives/... before they meet you... they continue their life.. just now your a part of it...... balanced
The clingy person.. loses their existing..' being an individual'.... life..in some regards.. by focusing too much on the
object of their desire
... making them .. their focus... =clingy...
and they expect the same back...
Affectionate.... is..... someone has love within them..(not fear based...)
they .. have boundaries....
and show love... feelings.. .. within those boundaries of respect...
they are secure.. ... and respect you had a life before them...
When they do tell you what they think or feel... they have thought it out and they mean their words.. so they don't need to tell you every thought/feeling.. emotions...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
31 (
view
)
The voices made me do it...
Posted:
11/11/2009 12:45:23 PM
I am currently on a campaign to re educate my eldest from using a baby voice whenever she wants something....very irritating, highly manipulative and in the end it will lose it's effectiveness and irritate the bejasus out of her partner as well...she is 20.
I'd be curious to know...does she regress? as in sits and pouts in front of you.. if the answer is no?.. or stamps off to sulk?..... coming back .. with her normal voice?....
or does she speak adult..then baby voice.. answer..no.. then straight back to adult voice?..
Now that is what I mean't by childlike voice.. you said it better a' baby voice'...
but I was meaning more .. someone who speaks.. it alllllll the time..
(as opposed to someone who speaks normally. but has young sounding vocals)..
Like.. eg.. the character in two and a half men.. Alans 2nd wife......(the character is scripted perfectly.. in pysche/thought process.. emotional..immaturity.. that all goes with the voice....
Notice how everyone.. who tries to have an adult convo with her.. just give up?... and treats her.. like a child?.... cause she is....just in an adults body...(well the character).
I do listen to characters voices.. in movies/tv etc.. cause they.. are part of making them believable....
Am definately attracted to deep belly rolling laughter with a sort of gutteral semi-sensual tone, to me it reveals someone open with a genuine hearty enjoyment and acceptance of life and they do not take themselves so seriously.
I have various laughs.. and because of vocal range lost.. ..laugh.. differently..
I tend to crack myself up... with my thoughts... (sometimes people have no idea why Im laughing .. and can't stop)...
To my horror and own amusement.. I have developed a laugh/snort.... which makes me laugh harder....
I think once the deep belly laugh sets in.. (fortunately.. its if Im watching tv.. or alone...
so I don't think I snort around others..)..... I can no longer suck and blow at the same time.. so I run out of air.. which comes out as a snort.. which makes me laugh more.. so
rinse/repeat... by the time I've sorted out.. how to not die laughing. by getting breathing right.. my ribs hurt from laughing so much..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
47 (
view
)
What's the worst or most inappropriate gift you ever received?
Posted:
11/11/2009 11:54:40 AM
only I was an unwanted child by my father..... so knew no gifts or attention at all from him.
Well, that certainly hurts....
.............I'm not sure adults actually realise.. that once they become a parent.... there is a part in the child just for them.... so they might walk away.. .. or be too selfish.. to never acknowledge the part in themselves.. knowing their child is out there..... but regardless the hurt will remain...
so ie.. even if someone donates sperm.. that becomes a child...... that child will have a void/gap.... (well consistently... from my studies)........ to want to know them...
This is why I really think children's rights.. before conception .. are needed..
I don't like to call parents names... ..like when a mum.. says your fathers a **stard etc.. because he is part of the child..(DNA).. so in effect they are putting the child down...
YOU don't deserve to be put down.... But I'll say this your fathers choices.. from the sound of it.. was'nt about
you..
nor based on
you
.....
It sounds like it was about the concept of a baby.....
It sounds like he dose'nt even know
you
.... and that is his loss..
Just wish parents realised their absence.. (even if they think they are hurt.. themselves.. and don't contact their kids... .. ).. Will impact the child forever....
and their hurt.. the adult. .. is nowhere near what the childs hurt is....
the adult needs to step up.. and show some courage/.character...
(disclaimer.. I'm not ovulating,......it's pms.. but I forgot..)
Akizzej... The only major thing I know about you.. is your taking a break from uni....
so my gift to you.. would be.......in thought.. ...
enjoy your less stressful.. time...(not having to meet deadlines)... and...
I hope you pamper you a bit more....and now you will have more time for forums....
ha ha ha..
peace/hugz
Inappropriate gifts... hmmmm........are the ones ......that when....anyone feels obligated to give a gift.....
therefore... .. its not from the heart/thought... just a useless .. obligsated gesture.. causing more landfill... buy em a tree.. you can even get balcony little lemon trees..
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
44 (
view
)
What's the worst or most inappropriate gift you ever received?
Posted:
11/10/2009 9:54:33 PM
well...I never really received many gifts....from family...growing up..
so I remember most of them...
I remember my dad coming through the lift doors at the airport from veitnam...
not sure if it was his first tour or his 2nd.... I remember the smell from that army/canvas bag.. the boots etc...
He bought me a beautiful.. gold jewellry box.. .. jewels on top.. and when you opened it a ballerina/music..
IT became the most precious thing in the world to me.. cause' me 'dad was finally home.. and
he
gave it too me..I was probably 3? 4? dunno...
I kept it until.. my 20s when it and all my other childhood stuff was burnt..
The 2nd gift// was a tape recorder.. ohh fuk yes im veryyyyyyyyyyyyy old...
I was ecastic.. I asked for it... sighs happily..... I love music and 2 tapes...
The 3rd gift he ever gave me... (parents broken up..so never saw him ever he just left... ).. so he came for a visit...(which was very uncomfy.. cause the parents had'nt resolved '..nor seen each other for awhile... he was like a stranger..(but was happy to see him)
He put 2 presents under a tree..crissy time.... brother got a ball. was fooking obvious ..although wrapped..
I felt my wrapped present up... like a blind person..feeling every bit.. to determine what it was....
ohh dear.. ... I tried to hide my disappointment.. and went to the kitchen where my mum was.. I cried.. and said...'mum.. he got me a sewing basket.. ( I was a tomboy)....
that mean's dad dose'nt know me.. if he knew me.. he would know I hate sewing...
She said.. .. basically... he dosen't know.. its the thought that counts.. I said I know it is.. but he dose'nt know me...
she said she would use it.. so not to worry.. so I dried my eyes.. and went to spend time with him........
never really saw him after that...well a couple times... and he never ever gave me a present again..
When I was in late 20's... I heard you teach people how to treat you.... so..
as my dad never sent a bday card.. or called etc... I decided Id send him a bday card with $50 in it... I wrote.. take your wife out.. (his 2nd wife).. for a nice dinner etc..
Well. It did'nt teach him.. a bday card... would be nice...to be thought of etc..cause he still never sent one..
My mum used the sewing basket... so all growing up I saw it......( I guess i was like 10)
well.. .. I used to use my mums garbo bin... cause I lived in the bush...
One day I opened it.. and on top... with cardboard etc.. was that sewing basket...
I couldn't let it get dumped.. so I took it out.. it was'nt dirty or anything and started using it... as my sewing basket.. (get over the wheelie bin thing.. it was'nt dirty)...
finally.. I sewed and finally.. I used it...
30 years later..
so the worst.. inappropriate gift... finally got acknowledged..
yes im a sentimental sap...... yes the thought..knowing in gift buying means more to me than the gift...
I learn't as a child how much a gift could mean..... I learn't to listen... to what someone wants/says.. during the year.. to what they say they would like../need...
and I bought those things..
now?
I don't buy anything ..unless it means something..
Id love to see capitalistchristmas.. ... of waste and guilt.. and disaapointment.......
just for one year be devoted to the earth... where nooone bought materilist shit.. but gave the the earth a thoughtful crissy... something... instead.. like plant a tree...
plant some herbs...
by not buying crap.. people detest/reject.. we would save alot of energy...
one commercial/materialistic free day.. would make a difference..
ok.. I must be ovulating Im sentimental..
BUt I will say this... my experiences with an absent dad.....
I tell every dad that tells.. me they can't see their kids... no access.. mother moved away etc..
send ya bloody kid a card.. let them know... you think of them..
most replies? ..oh the mother would'nt give it to them..... ok cop out..
if thats the case.. write on a card on their bday.. and keep it.. cause.. 1 day your kid is gunna want to know who you are...... if not for curiosity.. where did I come from.. at the least..
don't expect your kid.. to .. just think your great...
make an effort.. cause allllllllllll those years you missed out.. well they missed you more... cause they were kids.....
if at the very least you can hand em a stack of cards.. they can
feel
with dignity.. not dellusion.. like you really must of thought of em.. cared for them.. and only cause of circumstances.. you are strangers...
otherwise... where you been?
have some guuts.. sendya kids a card.. a pressie..
on a good note.. nooone reads my posts.. cause they are soooooo long.
so I get to vent.. invisably..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
7 (
view
)
moving in together after being single for a decade or more
Posted:
11/9/2009 3:15:24 AM
Ive thought of this myself jojo.. albeit without the actual man..... but living together..
Im sure there will be adjusting... .. but I'm sure you will be too happy.. focused on the way you will go..// start out as you intend it to be...
ie.. wrapping yourself around the man you love each night.. becoming conciious in the morning of him next to you.. with a smile in your heart/soul and on your face..
Knowing you missed out on sooo many moments like these precious ones.. after 10 years.... you will only doubly.. feel/breathe in each moment.. with pure joy..
Either you will cook.. or he will or you will both together..
With either of you.. hugging the other from behind.. with your head in the crook of their neck..
smiling.. ..
the simple things are so often the most precious..
you will do just great.. ... its your time now.. and our kids like to see us happy.. and settled.. cause they feel alot better stepping out.. being free .. to explore the world..
without feeling poor old mum is stuck at home all alone..
The new chapter has arrived.. and I reckon your ready..
and I reckon.. you deserve it..
and I reckon... you will work anything out that needs working out .. if anything actually arises..
have fun.. love it.. feel it..... breathe...it
bon voyage..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
42 (
view
)
Why do we post on Plenty of Fish?
Posted:
11/8/2009 11:05:17 PM
I must especially thank Nana publically for giving me the means to look deeper into my own soul in order to find answers
Ohh aren't you sweet...
You do realise.. your gunna have to invite us allllll.. to your wedding...
us girls will dress up in our finest bush boots or gum boots...
Actually you can sit scholar and Naamah up the front.. they will do you proud...
seat Hilly and me up the back.. cause we will have a few drinks.... cause weddings scare the crap out of us....
and probably be pissed and giggling... besides you know what Hilly is like once she hits the turps.. someones gotta hold her up... well we can stagger together...
and Lult will probably stand up.. when they say.. Does anyone object?
probably bringing a thesis on why..
Scholar will give a brilliant speech...
And Naamah will bring class to the occassion..
We of course...we will alllll buy you a toaster from each.. cause only about 20 other people will buy you a toaster.. and you can never have too many toasters can you?
and of course you will have to name all 4 of your kids after us...
I can hear you calling out to some small child.. LULT.. come here..
Yep your adopted.....don't call us your POf family.. though...
that just sounds sooooooo wrong..
bet you just can't wait to get married hey?
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
18 (
view
)
A Plugged up Toilet, so she packed up and left?! Should I let it go?
Posted:
11/8/2009 4:21:24 AM
She hasn't worked for 4 or 5 years. Her last 11-year relationship was sad; her guy spent most of his time at work, and to compensate he gave her his credit card and bought her a car so she could occupy herself with driving and shopping sprees in lieu of quality time with him.
Or the reverse is true.. He was actually working so much ... because she wanted to spend..it.. and maybe.. that kept her happy?
I work. But I have a meager income, two kids, and a three-bedroom suite to pay for. So I have also been supporting her. Difference between me and her ex, though, is I actually make time to be with her. It's been great.
You started doing the same thing.... I wonder if you would of ended up working more.. If she wanted to spend more?... just a thought...
I am divorced. I have a 13 yr old daughter and a 3 yr old son. They come with the package. It's a tall order, I know, and she knows it too, but claims to be on board with the idea.
Dosen't sound like it to me... sounds like your kids.. tiptoed around her.. ..in their own home..
I ran to intercept him, but it was too late; he had already started to "go." I helped him finish up, I checked the toilet for any messes (there were none), helped him wash his hands, then washed my own. No harm done, right?
So the kid is using a toilet.. is he 3?.... and you just rush in?... ... cause she is upset?
how did the son feel?... I get anxious for him just hearing about it...
I've been waiting for MONTHS to finally tell her to get a job without trying to sugarcoat it; I finally say it to her, and what does she do? She leaves!
So I got the impression from your post.. you tiptoed around her.. the kids did.. as in trying to keep her happy.. which did'nt involve being completly honest with how your feeling?... (cause you maybe knew.. she wouldn't handle that conversation too well?
But your resentment eventually came out... completely normal... if you supress.. built up resentments..
{quote]Am I being unreasonable? Should I just ask for my key back straight out? And move on? Or should I let her keep the key and resign myself to her possible whims that she may or may not return?
If you don't ask for your key back.. (again.. not asking for your needs.. etc .. why? scared it might upset her?)... she will walk all over you.. moreso... Unless you make a stand.... it sounds like.. it will always be about her...
fear?.. .. here's the thing..
If she loves you
... then there is nothing to fear.. and she would only respect you.. for not putting up with her crap...
You may feel you love her..... ok..
But until your kids are grown up.. none of this about you...
It's about your kids... their home... stability.. feeling at home.. in their little family..
That might suck.. but.. as a parent.. we all go through..
kids come first...
So can they go to the mothers to live?.... cause.. really.. is it fair.. for them to have to deal with an adult.. in their home..
That your having trouble deal with?
they are'nt in love with her.... How can they deal with someone.. at their ages.. if you don't feel you can.. communicate.. simple things.. like how you feel?
Sorry Op.. your hurting.. but.. focus on what's best for your kids..
Dosen't sound like she loves you... to me.. or your kids..
just saying...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
16 (
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The voices made me do it...
Posted:
11/7/2009 6:26:37 PM
Has anyone else ever noticed they have a 'business voice'? Back when I used to work in offices, if my Dad called my work and I answered the phone he wouldn't recognise my voice...and even now my brother tells me I have a certain voice that comes out when I am on the phone to a client or a student. The rest of the time I talk like a 10 year old.
Buggar Naamah.. I don't think I can post honestly on this thread now...without...
ducking and breaking into ... dean martin tunes.. so.. you don't get upset..
One of the things I really didn't like as a kid.. was phone voices..
ie.. people using their normal voice.. or yelling...... etc..
then the ph rings.. and all of a sudden they sound ... just wonderful..
but very different... pretentiousness.. (and I'm not saying a business voice.. or proffessional voice..cause.. well that's business..
but those who put on airs/graces.. unrealistic of themselves..
Re your males/voices.. attractions?
I had a thing for accents when younger....
And radio.. Id hear male/female.. with adorable voices...... and was 90%
disappointed if I saw a pic of them.....they usually had great heads for radio...
So I never had a crush on a voice again... But I say this..... some peoples voices are their beauty... like for some it is..their face or heart.. or thinking.. etc..
You can tell alot about a persons health.. their pysche.. and their emotional maturity.. just from their voice..
I'll forgo .. the egs I woulda given..
.. re people who talk childlike..
you wrote...
The rest of the time I talk like a 10 year old
FRom memory.. I didn't perceive you sounding like a 10 year old.. so regardless of you saying that.. I'm not including you.. in.. the 'childlike voice'...
Where It can indicate emotional maturity..
Its a very obvious voice..... and you just know they have a stuffed toy.. in their room..
Its mostly in women...
But now you have me thinking... do men use that voice also?
I know Ive met one man who did.. but only in closenee.. not publicly..
And he was probably emotionally immature.. in ways.. and yes He liked stuffed toys..
hmmmmm....thinking..now..
so do women not like the softer spoken effeminate ..male voice?....or the male childlike voices.. or just less masculine?
To be honest I don't really remember male voices much anymore.. once I got over the radio .. reality.. But mumblers.. in males.. drive me nuts..
soft/mumble with an accent.. and I need an intepreter..
Health.. re women deep husky..throaty voices.... well.
unless it's genetic... .. or hormonal..... its usually an indication of vocal cord damage..
which could indicate..health.. and or smoking/drinking..
such as Janis Joplin.... bonnie tyler?... etc..
men.. Jimmy Barns.. Rod stewart.. Jon English...etc..
If you looked in their back grounds.. you would probably find.. vocal cord damage..
If a speaker /singer dose'nt rest their cords.. or maintain vocal hygeine...
They can damage their cords/range
Buggered if I know why some people find vocal cord damage sexy...
maybe because its an imitation of.. whatever the qualities are attracted to in deep?
deep is different in males to vocal cord damage...
do we associate male hormones?....masculinity..... with deepness?
Are men a little intimidated by a woman with a deep or husky voice I wonder
maybe some guys.. know ... sub conciously it can..indicate ill health in a women?
I dunno.....maybe it makes her sound more tough? masculine?..
I know if I meet someone.. with a sweet voice.. I tend to want to be the nicest person I can be...
... maybe that's from being taught by nuns..though.. or really small kids.. sorta want to protect innocence?
Me..... Ive lost vocal cord range.. and .. used to be on the deeper/huskier side...no idea....and I've lost vocal range.. tone/pitch..
how deep or how husky now.. it still is... but what range? .. depends on.. also if I talk when they're strained.. or if I drink heaps of water.. ( I don't make much.. salvia.. which protects the cords)..
or get enough sleep... etc...
Im a smoker...that usually changes.. your voice overtime.
isnt it true.. if you smile when you answer the ph... .. its picked up on by the other person... so they feel good?... but that's a ph marketing.. strategy..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
19 (
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ZERO% alcohol for all drivers.... how would that effect your social life?
Posted:
11/7/2009 1:05:19 AM
All the non drinkers.. clearly state.. you don't drink and are eligable designated drivers..
your dating prospects will go up..
but of course.. non drinkers,.... usually can't stand being around drinkers.. for lengthy periods.. because the chemical difference is acutely obvious to them..
damn.. sometimes... you can put...2 opposites together.. thinking ..it should work out perfect..like
but sadly... the reason they are opposites.. is predominately.. why they are not compatable..
but don't listen to me.. ive had 2 and half beers..
at home....
Personally I stopped going out.. at night.. years ago.... if I want a couple of drinks I stay home.... s
so Op.. living in the bush.. yep.. have to stay at mates places .. if I go to a party.. don't bother with the pub.. cause... unless I book a room...
can't drink..
So pubs are out.... except for a quick call in.. one beer.. a chat.. then go..
However I am all for zero tolerance for young drivers...
3reasons..
1. their brain dosen't stop forming/developing until they are 24..
2. their experience in driving/concentration...
3. learning to drive.. plus speed.. plus immaturity.. etc..
should never be mixed..
And yes every rule has an exception.. ie..kids can learn to operate machinary.. like tracters/paddock bashers etc... or be more mature than average etc,,
but statistically?..... I want to see young kids .. under 20.. get through those phases..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
41 (
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The love equation
Posted:
11/6/2009 7:31:19 PM
Well I still say.. your egs are 1. calculating a relationship.. that might lead to love..
or
2.love....
being 2 seperate things your discussing.. The egs of love.. given.. are merely to illistrate.. that if love can happen on levels without calculation in all aspects of loving relationships.. across the LOVE spectre..
Then logically love between a man /women can happen without calculation..
Is there more calculation in our present society?..Yes I would agree..
But I know of too many egs of love.. itself.. the substance...that would indicate...men/women... can fall in love without calculating..(and I use the men/women eg.. simply because your egs were not about love itself.. but ... adults?
falling in love?... choosing?
But let me ask you this...?.. How do you calulate .. what life throws at you?.. into the initial equation?..
For eg.. real life story.. 2 young people.. believe they are in love.. agree to marry..
then just before the wedding date.. they find out he is infertile...
There go the plans for the family they planned... but even worse...His self esteem.. his attitude towards himself changes... and so his attitude towards her...
she has no idea.. about manly pride.. and reassures him she still loves him.. wants to marry him... (she hides her pain..(cause she won't be having kids..his kids either..does she consider this?... of course .. that's human)... because right now... he is.. pushing her away.. cause
I guess sometimes people do that when they are too hurt..)
So Im saying the calculation I would choose would be a persons ability to communicate..
how they react when they are told no
and how they change/react when they lose...(cause you can lose alot in life..like health.. income.. abilities etc..)
as a few egs..
So all signals they should'nt marry..?.. the lack of communication.. like 50 year olds in discussing issues?... the dream calculated is now gone.. before they start?...(but wait they are already in love..)..
So theoretically she should of just kicked him in the guts .. by saying I now calculate
you are no longer my ideal love partner.. so.. Im sorry you can't have children.. but I no longer love you.. because of it?
Or they find out she has an illness .. It stopped from becoming fatal... but her energy levels are low.. tired... not as healthy as someone else? so there go the 2nd income.. they calculated on for lots of toys or a house loan..
kick her to the curb?...
See my point is... love.. and a relationship are different issues.. and You can't always calculate.. what life throws you..
Like the guy surviving a car accident.. and now a quad... (she did'nt calculate that in her life).
or she has both breasts cut off.. because she had cancer..
Yes people walk out in situations like this.. or they stick to the foundation of the person they loved...
If I calculate.... let me tell you.. It has nothing to do with how they look... (cause that can be gone within seconds)
nor... what they can do .. ie a job or money.. etc...
I look at attitude.. (I learn't from watching the guy in the wheelchair)... would I be the sort to walk out on him?....I would hope not... why?.. cause I would want someone to love me.. no matter what.. (yer ha ha)
yes the trauma of life can also change attitude etc..
but character.. who someone is.. under the test of life.. usually won't change...
so yes.. I calculate someones character.. but .. I can fall in love with someone whos character.. I don't like much..
there is alot in life.. you just can't facter in.. in calculations.. and love.. is seperate.. to any of them.. but can come from .. choosing ..
as eg arranged marriages.. are usually calculated by family... some grow to love their chosen spouse and some don't
they honour.. other values over love... to make it work..
and it has a high success rate.. as in staying together.. (not everyone who stays together are happy.. in life.. and not all have experienced passion to know they are missing out on passion)..
I love my mum.. by calulation I should'nt.. in fact Ive been told.. have nothing to do with her... But I answer.. she is my mum.. that's who I got... I won't walk away.. But I will
set boundaries...
I saw my daughter in law fall in love with my grandbaby.. As they passed her to her.. her face.. everything lit up.. it was clearly noticeable.. it was a beautiful thing to see..
I myself fell in love with her... (illogical cause its just a baby right?).. calculating .. it.. babies ....shit..... cries.. needs 24hr care.. chances are... it would'nt calculate to .. a choice...lol..
But seriously I was amazed I fell in love with her..
Love is.. not calculated.. but choosing who we love can be.. yes..
So Im asking you.. what if you calculate the most logical choice of partner.. then within 3 years all those calculations on why you chose them no longer exist?.. due to life circumstances?
Ill tell you what I think love is.. in spirit form... Love is doing the right thing.. in any situation...
eg.. its the middle of a winter night.. your shivering bed.. freezing.. but your baby cries.. the last thing you want to do is get up.. but the baby needing its nappy changed .. is the right thing to do.. regardless of how you feel.. so you do it..
thats love in practise...not emotions.. ohh joy a shitty nappy? ohh I love that..not.. love isnt about feel good stuff.. all the time..
Determining what the right thing is... is another thing...
and yes some spirit people donot believe right or wrong exist... Im not one of them.. and I would choose a better word than right... .. but it just fits for me..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
38 (
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The love equation
Posted:
11/6/2009 4:24:17 PM
and I wanted to add youngin.. I like emotions.. they are fun.. enjoyable..
but I can seperate within me.. what is an emotion.. and what is deeper/foundation, in my interactions.. I just don't let them make decisions for my heart/me..
otherwise you end up with alot of regrets.. ie clothes/shoes youll. never wear.. heartache.. of letting someone in my heart.. who really I should not of..
So have fun.. enjoy the stimuli.. but emotions change..like the weather..
disclaimer to above post.. I did have an online relo with a canadian.. a brother of a friend..I di'nt particuarly want to either..lol.. but.. it happened..(never met)
so I am aware of how.. emotions/words etc can influence.. thoughts/emotions/responses.. but it's not something Id rather chose to experience again.... besides don't shit in your own backyard is always good advice..
There are several Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used. Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agape, eros, philia, and storge. However, as with other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words. Nonetheless, the senses in which these words were generally used are given below.
Agape (a??p? agápe) means "love" in modern day Greek, such as in the term s'agapo (S'a?ap?), which means "I love you." In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection rather than the attraction suggested by "eros." Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard.
Eros (???? éros) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "(romantic) love;" however, eros does not have to be sexual in nature. Eros can be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more than the philia, love of friendship. It can also apply to dating relationships as well as marriage. Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. It should be noted Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean, "without physical attraction." Plato also said eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. The most famous ancient work on the subject of eros is Plato's Symposium, which is a discussion among the students of Socrates on the nature of eros.
Philia (f???a philia) means friendship in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
Storge (st???? storge) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant.
Thelema (????µa thélema) means "desire" in ancient and modern Greek. It is the desire to do something, to be occupied, or to be in prominence.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
37 (
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The love equation
Posted:
11/6/2009 4:20:48 PM
Hi youngin...IN the old days.. when I used to carry my horse to school, cause we couldn't afford shoes for him..we didn't have internet....we didn't have mobiles...etc..
We met people/interacted socially(depending which country you grew up in.. ie what social structure..ie this is not evolution..this is the social structure a person grows/adapts too) ..
very differently, than you youngins..
You...just grew up with..This new technological world.. and I think it's arse about front in actually forming relationships.. (sure there's some pros.. and alot of cons... pun intended.. on the internet/social way of meeting people)..
1.Is it 90% of our communication is done by body lingo..facial exspressions..etc..(this medium forgos this stuff.. from first contact) I personally start with the eyes... and listen to people on all levels..
before I would make a decision.. regardless of their stats on paper..(which is internet dating.. essentially)
2.Humans react to smells/scents.. some more than others are aware of this..for those( like me )..it is essential, in how much time I spend with a person..
I don't have any studies..(except my own observation..sionce childhood)..although Im sure if I searched I could find some... to back up.. our thoughts/emotions release chemicals.. that we can pick up on in others..
Myself.. I have either had a broken nose or was born with open sinuses.. (xray/face surgeon).. so I actually have a high sense of smell... and I taste smells..) So I can understand If some people donot see.. how important a persons natural scent is..
and our society.. ( mostly..camoflauges this instinctive/protective ability).. by covering themselves with deoderants/perfumes/after shave etc..
I cannot be next to someone who uses these chemicals.. cause I breathe them in.. and I get crook..).
Donot underestimate this sense in choosing a mate..
I could go on listing comparisons, but the point is that the feelings you have for each of them is the same (Love?) but the REASONS are different, and now you find yourself in a position where a decision MUST be made (because we’re all decent, monogamous people here, and we haven’t slept with either of them and would never lead someone on once things looked like they were getting serious)
See what your describing, is more a job vacancy..
Ie someone online submits their resume.. I read it.. are they meeting the key criteria?... do their refferences confirm the abilities I'm seeking?
BUt regardless of their stats on paper... The issues in a work enviournment would depend alot on their attitude.. (how they react in certain situations..dealing with conflict.. do they play well with others?... and importantly.. can they communicate unemotionally in a business setting..ie not let their ego become the issue?..etc )
So..Online I personally.. probably would'nt be in a situation of having to make a choice between 2 or more stats..of people..
It would be keep friendship.. ie no playing with emotions.. egging on.. (or being fooled by my own emotions, in reacting to words on a page.. I might like them.. reach my ego/vanity etc.. and some people become emotionally responsive./addictive..
Ie their lonely.. its nice to have a crush feeling on someone.. look forward to a message ..a text etc..
but is it real?.. or just emotions.. liking the feeling?... which can change.. if they ..don't stop messaging.. or texting.. etc.. if your no longer feeling the emotions?.. people can fall in love through emotions.. but to me.. it would be.. the least reliable way.. cause once one of the persons emotions.. change.. someone gets hurt..
So.. youngin.. I wouldn't be getting to that showing emotion stage online.. but friends.. until I met them both.. and felt their presence.. saw their eyes/responses to certain.. subjects..etc.. communicated with them... verbally.. body lingo..etc.. same as I would'nt employ someone taking on all the potential liabilities of that person.. if In the job setting.. they did'nt fit in..(ie having to deal with dismissal etc)
So the decision is'nt one Id probably find myself in..
What you are describing.. I read as.. compatability..for a relationship(without meeting..ie having human interaction)...
and Love.. being 2 seperate things you describe..... relationship compatability isvery important... same as the dna you will give your kids...through a partner.
You can love someone.. and can't stand living with them... (some kids or parents come to mind)..
and you can be completely compatable..living with someone.. and not feel sexual love for them...for eg.. and/or you can love someone feel extreme lust for them.. start living with them.. and after a few years... come to dislike alot about them.. and all the lust/sex urges can disappear...hmmmmm
This got me thinking, what is it about love that makes it such a taboo topic to dissect? Why does the argument “What is love?” seem to have the answer “It just is…”?
Love has been discussed for centuries.. and there's different types.. for eg you love your cat right?..
regardless of.. its faults.. comitment etc..
but its a different love to say.. loving your mum?
just as you forgive your cat.if it happens to crap on the carpet.. sure you might be annoyed.. but the love you feel.. deep down.. isn't affected by your temporary pissed off
emotional response
eg only.. If you learn.. people will piss you off. even if you love them dearly and the emotion will pass.. but the love remain.. you will see it. ain't a bunch of ticks/crosses.. otherwise the cat might be history?...expect the person you fall in love with/live with.. will have some faults..(but which ones are you prepared to put up with?)..so sometimes its more about.. the faults of a person.. than their positives..
saying
no
..to someone.. and seeing their reaction.. in how they respond.. shows alot about a person.. also how they cope when they lose..rather than win..for eg..
working out what parts about yourself.. you are operating in.. is it emotions?.. whats underneath them? if they change?.. etc..
I look for character these days.. the inner person/attitude... rather than letting my emotions lead me..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
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ZERO% alcohol for all drivers.... how would that effect your social life?
Posted:
11/6/2009 3:47:23 AM
Time to start dating a designater driver...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
91 (
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Do women ever play mind games , lie and waste mens time ?
Posted:
11/5/2009 4:31:30 PM
Lot of good stuff in that scholar.. especially... the 'imagination "parts..
What you described though, in each scenerio.. did'nt sound like love or anything akin to love...
It sounded like ego/vanity..relationships..based on superficial...emotions.. that donot react to truth.. but to thoughts..
Adults.(as opposed to grown ups)..
know themselves
.. they can predict how
they will react/think/feel..in most situations..
Because they know themselves.. the good the bad.. (takes honesty to self)...they know what they want...
(usually).. or at the least..what they don't want...
They have the foundation... for choosing a partner.. (mostly)..
Mostly.. they .. then can tell someone..honestly.. where they're at emotionally..or theyre inner being.. and what they want...
In a straight forward honest way...(they are not clouded by emotions... which are not a basis for commitment/decisions.. they are purely pleasaurable reactions..or not so pleasant reactions to stimuli.. whether the stimuli/thoughts/etc are true or not..)
For eg.. a person says..
Mind game three “this time it will be different”. She really likes him, he could be the ONE and they have after all be on THREE dates, she would just like to know “were she stands”, that is not too much ask is it. He tells her that he is just not ready to start a serious relationship with anyone having recently ended another relationship
THe person operating from emotions...
hears
the honesty of the person saying.. exactly where he is at..(but ignores the honesty)..
his statement is not based in emotions but truth..(his core being)
if she adjusted her emotions to the truth... apparent.. she would be reacting.. differently..
ie not emotionally investing.. and expecting a different response from him)
Anology...A man owned a house.. (his ex).. he invested time/effort in fixing it up.. cause it had cracks.. needed maintenance etc.. but it felt like home.. (in his core being)...
overtime .. the committment to owning the house.. wore thin...was hard work and rarely fun...but it still feels like home..
so once he leaves that home/house(The ex)... he is relieved he no longer has to mow the lawns.. paint the walls.. do termite spray.. (cause the ex is cracked foundations)..but it still feels like his home..
So off he goes.. he does not want to buy a new house yet..(committ)... but would'nt mind renting a suitable house.. with all the mod cons.. (a new women )
so.. new woman comes along.. she has a sign that says for rent or buy..(herself)..he applies within..(haha pun intended)...
THey talk.. he says..
He tells her that he is just not ready to start a serious relationship with anyone having recently ended another relationship
he even explains the state of his old
home
..not described as a house..(still attached
at his core being
... even though his emotions have changed.. about it)he still is love/attached..deep down..he hopes this reinforces ..honestly exactly what he wants and why he wants it...hes being totally honest..
Now the women.. hears this.. and allows him to rent her house (herself).. but secretly.. she is thinking.. ohhh he will buy my house.. once he is established/using the mod /cons etc.. he will go from renting to buying..
He likes the new house.. his emotions show joy/fun..
etc.. why not.. he is no longer checking out foundations for cracks(ie not looking for qualities in the women/house.. as you would to purchase it.. hes pushing buttons.. liking the no commitment phase of renting.. ie.. you get a house but no maintance..)..
meanwhile shes checking out.. whether he is able to buy/committ.. to owning her house.. she just has to get him to sell his home(get over his home feeling towards the ex.. then hes got the ability to buy her house).... right?
He goes about his life... adjusting to non maintance of his ex home.. goes to work/mates etc... occassionally gets to the house he's renting..
after a couple weeks.. shes convinced.. he likes her house.. all his emotions point to it... so she then says.. so are you going to buy my house?(committ)
he says.. Im just renting remember?..Ive not even looked at the foundations..(your inner being..)he then starts to notice the cracks.. the work involved if he did committ... by being
forced
to make a decision.. he is still at the stage of.. I just want to rent)..(maybe if she left whether he wants to rent/own alone for awhile.. he mighta started thinking .. he would like to maybe buy.. all on his own.. but forced committment/choices don't seem to work..)
now if he had gone and rented.. somewhere else.. after he left his
home
he might of been ready to finally look around for a new house to buy and make it his home..
or.. if the women.. just let him rent... and he got used to the house.. the new area.. hes moved to etc..
he might have starting thinking to himself this isn't too bad...I could live here.. I could like owning this house..It could become my new home..)
So the women.. wanting to move the house sale along.. might try this mind game(brings in one of the men who adores her house.. he would buy it within an instant
but she isnt interested in selling to him.. but he is useful as a decoy in house sales)..
So she brings in
devoted guy
.. the renter sees him wandering around the yard etc.. asks who he is..
She says.. "ohh he is interested in buying the house'
now he will either get territorial.. because he has become attached to the house he rents. cause he was going to think about it possibly in the future...
or he will say.." well.. Im not ready to buy(any house.. at this time.. its not your house its anybodys house..commitment) as I said when I started renting
so.. don't let me stop you from selling to him..
sure.. he has to move... onto another house.
but if he isnt ready to committ thats his choice isn't it?.. if forced to decide.. buy or go rent elsewhere..
Essentially.. alot of houses are nice/beautiful..comfy.. but there are
alot of nice houses out there
.. and adults.. don't
emotionally
buy houses.. they decide.. on actual structure.. how much maintance.. etc.. why buy.. and have the hassles.. if someone is willing to rent to you?
only.. really if you.. can't find anyone to rent to you..or not many houses available.. do you have to compromise.. on the house..or buying it..those guys are happy to just get near a house)
One person knows themselves.. where they're at.. and what they want..and can say it..(not based on feel good emotions)
The other believes they're house is worthy of purchase.. regardless of the renters intentions..
they operate from emotions.. feel good feelings..
renters/buyers.. etc .. 6 months .. to see how you adjust to a new house...
if you make someone committ before then (who didnt want to buy).. they will most probably stop renting.. move on..
if someone has in their head... sold their house in their imagination.. is already spending the money in their head.. etc.. before 6 months.... then most probably predictablly..
they're emotions will change(they ignored his truth and supposedly fell in love emotionally) From not at first reacting to truth..(what he said)
(no relationship wanted)..
to being forced to see the truth.. (the house sale fell through).. all that debt/emotionally you got into.. spending the non existant money in ya head..) will usually end up.. with emotions forced to see the truth..(no relationship wanted)..no sale..
the emotional person probably can't go 6 months without asking.. well are..you buying?.. giving the renter time.. to just relax/adjust..timing is everything hey?..
3 dates you say scholar?.. emotionally.. that would be like a sugar rush.. ie eating sweets..
but... sugar rushes (emotions.. go high...then have to fall as low as they went high).. ie the higher you fly..the coming down.. is the same distance..except.. one feels good going up.. the other.. you hit the ground.. unless you know how to land..)
love dosent come from emotions.. or vanity or ego..
it comes from the core.. of a person...
everything else is just icing...to be enjoyed..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
30 (
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The love equation
Posted:
11/4/2009 3:37:29 AM
Though, to be on the safe side, I should probable be grateful that there is no way for her to work out where and when the next locust plague will occur.
Well, The last locust plague predicated.. I read last week.. heading to queensland
Tis true...
unfortunately..
peace..
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
64 (
view
)
men...how do we figure them out.
Posted:
11/3/2009 3:13:08 AM
Or a good doco on the history channel about the Battle Of Britain!
I love documentaries...
And Hilly.... There's something you should know.... My track record shows that she doesn't need to put her lips over her teeth... she can just take them out
Ohh youngin.. have you learn't nothing?
Stop picking up yer chicks at bingo... For the love of God.....
girl,you and me would never do anything but wrestle on the floor for control of the remote.
Hmmmm.. haven't wrestled in years.. but I dare say.. Im too old for that.. theres a good chance you'd snap me in half.. or at least have to carry me to hospital.. and get me wrapped in plaster.. then have to look after me... pouring pain killers and beer down my throat... and of course give...... me the remote.. cause.. well. Id be stuck in bed.. and very unhappily vocal about it all..
If i cooked a meal,it wont make you moan with pleasure.Find that strange,some one moaning with pleasure from a meal?? Lost it some where in the translation.
ok.. it'sd more like./................hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..
and yes .. if someone cooked me a heartfelt...yummy meal.. id be soooooo happy.. iD be smiling...hmmmmmmming.. and id be lulled into a beautifully... peaceful place..
the aroma.. of the cooking.. the.. anticipation.. the.. ..well. food is awesome..
My weight on you will gain the upperhand
ahhh yes.. you could use brute force...... or.. you could cook.. and id snuggle up.. happy..hmmmming.... and give you the remote.. as long as you chose house.. or .. somefing.. I can't do law and order...
gotta go..Lie to me is on...
peace
EDIT to below..... yep.. I saw an interview with an older couple.. sitting on the couch holding hands.. kissing occassionally.. looking into each others eyes.. every now and again... and in front of them was 2 tvs side by side.. him watching his ball..thingy.. shows.. and her watching what she wanted..... I thought it was excelllent latteral thinking... except for the having to wear headphones.. but otherwise.. was a good idea..
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
61 (
view
)
men...how do we figure them out.
Posted:
11/3/2009 12:35:36 AM
Man+beer+food+remote control+sex= happy man.
Absolutely..noooooooo way.. does he get the remote...
unless he has cooked a meal.. where I'm left moaning with pleasure..
or he is brilliant in bed....
otherwise.. prying it from my hand... just won't happen..
never give up the remote..
before you know it.. they click it onto.. things like farking sport...
buggar that..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
10 (
view
)
Absent friends
Posted:
11/2/2009 5:21:39 PM
I was just curious as to whether other people had had close online friends disappear on them.
From memory of your testimonials..profile... It seems to me alot of women like chatting to you.. think..your a nice bloke/friend....
So I might think.. sometimes.. those we chat to.. might get caught up in busier lives than us.. and .. assume.. you will always be there?... I'm guessing.. cause I don't exactly have people disappear.....(well they do.. but usually reappear at same stage) but.. they come back over time.... (and figure IM a close enough friend.. no need to tell me theyre gone..)cause they had been busy.. this goes for males/females.....
At the time.. I just figure .. I did'nt mean much to them.. or I bored them shitless and they actually died..in their sleep.... reading.. my messages...
BUt they evetually turn up.. telling me.. they missed me.. come overseas.. to visit them
(females)etc... (all have various reasons.. on why correspondence tapered off.. ).. and I guess.they take for granted.. I'll just always be there..(but they know I'm a true friend.. )
But I'm abit like you.. I tend to notice habitual ... emails... then nothing.. as I'd be concerned for them,.......I'm abit of a worrier...(sometimes If it's my turn to email.. I don't for awhile.. cause I don't want to chitchat.. or talk about my life)
If it's theyre turn to email.. ie I sent last one and they don't reply.. I figure they are just not interested so usually never send another one..
But sometimes.. myself.. (believe it or not.. I am actually quite private.. in person)..
I go through times of self reflection.. and donot correspond with others..... I just don't feel like talking about whats going on in my life etc..
no matter how well I know someone..(online or in person).
and unless someone contacts me.... I usually just let it alllllll..go..... assuming.. they have met charming/real people.. (as opposed to me..being online.. and it's not until.. that falls apart etc.. and they want a shoulder/ear... etc.. then they contact me)..
But if you have email.. outside Pof/contact.. and they are not answering... I would be concerned...
I remember ... threads on people dying that they knew from online... and that women who got murdered.. from a pof member.. (UK ) I think it was.. and how sad .. her profile was still up... (all verified through the media/pics etc... )HE got caught though.. btw.. but shit happens...
Interestingly many of them also expressed their regret at never having been able to keep up with the quality or quantity of his correspondence. I suppose I should be grateful that a tendency to copious correspondence is not inheritable because in this age of email such a person might just perhaps, make a real nuisance of themselves.
OHh how proud your dad would be..
see
writing.. one of his positive attributes in self expression .. was passed to you.. a gift a knack?...... he would be chuffed...
and never stop sending me emails.. your never a nusiance.. IF you did'nt Id probably never interact with people... (im lousy at first moves.. but will be polite to answer.. or be enticed.. to respond)... I appreciate you for it..
I don’t know what the best solution to this problem is; email my email account details to my sister just in case, sisters don’t snoop, do they?
having read threads on this.. it seems.. keeping passwords... certain lists of friends etc..... in a place such as with your will..... would be appropriate.. in case of death..
no need to pass out passwords to relatives now...(also having their home numbers/with online screen name.. in your written/offline address book.. )
PLus Im fairly certain.. on receipt of a death certifcate... ISP.. will ... give over passwords etc...?........
I know when my spirtual mentor died... ( I kept all our emails...but unfortunately my last pc died.. so lost my email login status..and all emails.. sure theyre on hardrive.. somewhere..just can't access them..)....his relatives read allllllllll..our correspondence.. ( I learn't whatever we say.. can be recorded and used for or against us)....(that goes for married people also.. if you drop dead.. expect that your children/wife.. can access.. your goings on.. online... perhaps?...... this will be part of their memory of you.. also).. and those not married...
anyhoo. his relatives invited me.. to a closed/family only ceremony for his passing.. they said to me... "you did'nt mix words with him did you"... I said nope..
cause everytime he complained re his relatives.. I would try and help him see.. their side etc...
anyhoo I learn't a big lesson.. and I now keep all my mum's emails.. etc... cause ! day she will pass... .. so I try and say nice things to her each day..and her to me...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
49 (
view
)
MELBOURNE CUP ~ Tips Wanted :)
Posted:
11/2/2009 4:44:20 PM
Well I live not too far from Newport in Melbourne and if you saw it you might not back it in the Cup.
I think from..... that posters... previous posts.. they miss being in Melbourne...as opposed to being stuck in WA....(from what they have indicated)
So maybe home sickness.. makes even Newport seem.. nostalgically ..... enticing?
or they just like the name...
Well. after the whipping horses thread....bringing to my attention.. the many facets..
of the industry... (until I make an absolute decision..on how I feel... which I haven't seen /heard all sides yet... still clueless re horses/racing etc...)
Ive decided I won't participate..today...
although my usual Melbourne Cup.. betting style...(formula)...
I always win 1st...2nd..3rd... so sit back.. and smile...
I usually add/weigh up the odds on the least winnings on 3 places....
If it is viable to get my money back.. I place $1 for a win or place...on every horse....
if an outsider wins.. I make more money...
To date.. I always get my money back... plus a few bucks..
Then I put a couple bets on trifectas etc... (still come out even)
and the fact.. I visited my pub yesterday.. and they had only 3 beers left.. of the type I drink...(until thursday.. whoever does the ordering.. farked up)..and those beers will be gone.. I only....had one...
Ive decided to sit this year out......
punting elsewhere...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
44 (
view
)
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted:
11/1/2009 11:17:59 PM
OP, maybe it's time to return that Mrs Robinson Video/dvd - otherwise you'll have to pay for that extra month you've had it out
Most of us guys have been there, done that!
Perhaps.. you forget.. the inquistiveness of youth?... or looking at the world and parts unexplored?
You say....have been there and done that.. but it seems... ummm.. like your maybe discarding his .. questionings?
But he is 20.... you are 3 times older than him.... old enough to be his grandpa.. his mentor.. his advisor..
On' what you've been there and done'......
maybe ... You have some advice.. with your experience.. with the been there and done that?.. You could share with the op?
It seems a shift has taken place.. in our society.. with in the past Mrs Robinson.. (ie.. competing with her daughter for a male... was one aspect of that story.. causing betrayal..trust..blurred lines in parents/selfishness and... respect.. for your children/husband etc..)
Mrs Robinson..)being.. an exception..as in being publicised/acceptable.. for women..young men... having a relationship with males ....their childrens /daughters ages,... (albeit.. in that society)..(nothing more embarrasing than having one of your parents..
flirting with one of your mates... (well there is.. but ..it ranks up there... let alone marrying one that age...or rather younger than yourself.. yep..... )
but yet in our modern society..milfs/cougars..etc.. the old lines are now blurred/.. and perhaps.... the youngins.. are not sure....
of what would of used to be deemed crushes on older women... to the fantasy.... becoming a real possibility?
and the possible consquences?
anyhoo.
he is a youngin..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
52 (
view
)
men...how do we figure them out.
Posted:
11/1/2009 10:06:19 PM
OHHHHHHHH Op.. I feel your hurt hun.....
please don't beat yourself up..
emotions are tricky things.. and relationships have changed in this modern world..
I reinterate.. YOU .. yes You.. seem like a fun loving.. beautiful women.. who gives easily her emotions/attachments .. herself....
that's ok... that's good.... but.. emotions.... from my experience.. soar.. react.. to stimuli.. whther true/or false......
He at least was a decent guy.. In really ...really liking you... respecting you...
He couldn't give you more..... (but that's not about you... I reckon he would think your awesome).
just some people.. learn.. the different parts of themselves.. ie mind/emotions/spirit..
and know which part theyre interacting in...
and ..... that's a learning process..
I quite often see./read/hear... how some people's emotions.. take them places....
we are all responsible for our lives/feelings etc..
People tell you who they are.... if we listen...believe.. it.. then watch.. to see how well its true in their actions..... we can save ourselves alot of pain..
I personally don't fall in love through emotions..(anymore)... but from spirit.. .. But I also love.. most people from spirit....
so if my emotions change like the weather.. it affects nothing except a few days or moments..
IT does take time/practise.. to.. seperate.. these parts....
ie having great sex.. SHOULD.. encompass the whole being.. (but perhaps our beings were desinged for that completeness within a love/situation).. and when its not a love foundation... then it mimicks love feelings?
I think you sound wonderful... and I would hate for your self esteem.. openess/honesty to be affected by this one experience..
seriously.. love isn't common... emotions are..
You deserve someone to be with you.. because you are their type..
and guess what?.. I'm sure your lots.. of peoples type..
he just was'nt it..
remember how great the sex was.. the moments... cause life is a series of moments..
smile and reflect....
you did nothing wrong in giving yourself.. it increased your enjoyment..
he respected you.. he did'nt use you or lead you on..
you enjoyed agreed moments.. to both your pleasure and good memories..
thank fark.. everyone isn't compatable.. otherwise we would be robots..
shite.. even vcrs.. dvds.. aren't compatable with all things..
such is life..
you will find your niche.. the right lifestyle for you..
your precious.. I really liked your honesty in your opening post..
says alot about why.. hE was attracted to you..
heal well.. and remember your beautiful..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
50 (
view
)
men...how do we figure them out.
Posted:
11/1/2009 9:26:10 PM
Hi..OP.. I'm sorry.. your hurting... But you know what?
I read this awhile ago.. and thought.. the guy.. in question is an honest guy...
he was straight up front..
Guy is shy, quiet type. Hints at being 'friends'. I ask him why and get same vague answers? The main one that sticks is 'you are not the sort of girl I usually fall in love with'. What the hell does that mean. I ask myself why
He told you.. exactly his intentions... (I would to.. and I'd expect to be believed.. and then both adults.. consenting.. to whatever activities came after that)...
It seems.. once again.. either you.. brought up the subject?... or he noticed.. you were developing emotions?....
and he once again was honest in.... let's stay friends like originally agreed.. cause nooone needs to get hurt in this...
It is nothing to do with you personally..... He said your not his relationship type..
I think most people have 2 types?... ie the character/person they fall in love with.. have a committed relationship with..
and the other...... that.. will only ever be a lover.. but you wouldn't marry them? commit to them.. whatever a commitment means to them...
well. for me.. that's true.... it dosen't mean you don't think they're great.. awesome people etc.... just.. we all have different sides... and you sound honest...fun.. great to be with etc... but .. people committ to those they most feel on comfy level with..
(I don't know how to explain that)...
and some.. can.. not get their sides/selves confused.. in making decisions..
ie aware of all their sides...
emotions.. can take us places.. that... our logic/knowing mind... knows were not mean't to go... (ie his words.. said only friends.. that was agreed...)
There's a story of a woman saying to her husband.... "you never tell me you love me..."
his reply.... "I told you I loved you the day we got married...If anything changes I'll let you know"
in other words.. listen when an honest/adult person..tells you.. who they are and what they want...
If it changes.. they will let you know... you won't have to question or ask..
All I can see is.. he was honest... you both agreed to have fun....
your emotions.. changed that agreement for you.... but not for him...
He sounds a decent bloke..
and I usually ascertain how well someone knows themselves.. in what they telling me.. in who they are...
like my last .. interesting males?.. both were in love with someone... So I knew going in.. nothing but.. enjoy the moments... help comfort them.... but there wouldn't be a relationship.. or attachment for me to them... .. They both are great guys... and I enjoyed the moments...( I don't do anything... With expectations.. so hopefully no regrets.. I know whats up/going on etc...)
but just needed .. a loving(spiritually)..friend.. I have no trouble spending time with anyone.. giving.. cause I'm aware of where things are at... and If I coulda helped them.. heal theyr'e..in love relationships.. or yours .. I would.. but alas free...will
and that's why love can be soooooooo precious.. cause it ain't emotions or casual...
sorry.. your emotions are hurting Op... big huggggggggg
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
9 (
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)
Visiting Perth from UK
Posted:
10/31/2009 11:35:53 PM
welcome to aussie.....
what the hell is a cougar?
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar
1. Cougar An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
2. Cougars
(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"
3. cougar
An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with milfs
4. Cougar
A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar's victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal.
5. Cougar
A Cougar is a female, usually between thirty and fifty years-old, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men.
Cougars are only usually interested in men under the age of twenty-five. Also, Cougars are non-committal, choosing to move from mate to mate without ever settling down. It is not uncommon for the same Cougar to attack (sleep with) many different men in the same group of friends. Furthermore, Cougars are older and more practiced in the ways of snaring a mate so they will rarely broadcast their intentions to sleep with you until you are already in her Jetta, headed for the condo she just bought. It is this elusive behavior that earns her the name “Cougar.”
6. Cougar
Coo-gher. An older woman who's primary interest lies in bedding younger men. Often, but not necessarily, with money; cougars are the more aggressive variety of the commonly used term: milf.
I think that cougar just grabbed my ass!
milf mom older attractive woman
7. Cougar
A woman who is 35+, sexually cunning, that prefers to hunt rather than be hunted.
There seems to be a lot of Cougars stalking prey at the beach today.
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
40 (
view
)
poetry as foreplay
Posted:
10/26/2009 2:00:01 AM
It's true too. Men are much bigger sooks than we give them credit for!
I wonder how many tough arsed blokey-blokes will go off and top themselves after reading that?
It's interesting you see it that way...
cause I saw it from an older womens point of view .. ..
finding a man.. not in love.. well. (at my age)
it's possible... they exist.... but.. mostly when I ask.. male mates..
they still love a particular.. woman..
a man who gives his heart..time.. work.. etc.. well. alot of guys my age.. gain esteem from expressing love/life that way..
well a woman migh'nt see.. that's..... maybe how he shows his love.. rather than saying emotional stuff..... and maybe another man will never love her.. as much as the one she had?...
Anyhoo.. trying to explain poems..writing.. is much like having to explain a joke..
But having alot of male friends since childhood...
To be loved by one is... pretty special..
everyone of em.. If I asked could tell me about the woman.. in his heart...
the one he can't get over.. ..
I guess some ... get over it....
and they are the ones.. I guess we on dating sites are looking for?
otherwise.. making sure a mans heart is free to love....
well ... quoting another poster on here.. sorta..
root/beer.. food..
men seem pretty happy.. mostly..
but then I'm told.. some people.. like some men can seperate.. love/sex..
soo. why wouldn't they be content?
can love their ex.. and still have sex/beer/fishin.. food..mates...
been a few threads/on guys going back to exes..
I guess that sorta motivated my poem..
and the fact.. I ask guys who they are in love with..
before getting involved..which is cool..
if im not looking for love... I can have a beer..be a mate.. and move on..
and Ive got no intention of falling in love with a guy.. still in love with his ex..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
37 (
view
)
poetry as foreplay
Posted:
10/25/2009 10:48:53 PM
Cupid........Cupid....... You little shit.....
When are you going to ...have a hit?
Shooting your arrows....left and right......
they get married.. then they fight...
Used up.. and discarded.. then thrown out..
At least .............he comes with trout..
Men love harder and deeper... don't you know?
emotional creatures/......But they don't let it show...
They work..hard.. for their wife and kids....
and even though.. she did..get rid...(fark off dose'nt rythme..or go in time)
If she snapped her fingers.. he'd run back..
cause he will put up with all sorts of crap..
But even tho she says... stay away..
he will keep workin..payin
till his dyin day..
he is commited to his heart.. where she will live..forever..
and
his face ...now... like...... old leather..
Hes happy with his fishin.............beer and mates...
who just think hes .......'great'....
in fact he's a hoot..
so in his life..... he needs nothing... not you..
just a root...
and his heart is filled with love for her and memories..he will adore..
but he looks sad and all worn out..
but..hey..
look at the size of that trout..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
24 (
view
)
what does he want???
Posted:
10/24/2009 11:11:26 PM
To be honest....IT is really hard to even reply.. when you get an excerpt from peoples private lives.... We can't know the whole story...from a few excerpts?..without knowing the whole thing...
In the last 6 months i have been
chatting
with a guy who i felt was very honest and we seemed to get on well, we met and liked eachother but then he dissappeared of pof for a month,
You like each other.. but you imply it was mostly chatting.. the meeting part?....less info..
he disappeared...... hmmm. apparently that happens on here.....
so what did you think/feel? when he dissed?
here is an age difference between us but he seemed attracted to me. when i left he said that he was going to miss me alot.
Well My girlfriends tell me (in relos).. that alllllllll men are attracted to other women...even in relationships...
their relationship/commitment.. is whether they act on it or not..
so.. yes.. hes attracted to you.. other women...possibly..
sounds like you had some deep talks?maybe?.. helped him maybe.. get through whatever patch he was going through?
I mean we don't know how long he was seperated from his ex.. etc.. only you know his intimate stuff..
what i cant work out is why did he ask me to go all the way there just to dump that on me??? i cant understand and was wondering if you guys could shed some light on his actions because i am totally confused by them
ok so you know what he wants cause he told you... and you told us.. he wants to go back to his ex..
where was he for the month?.. see I'd be thinking he might be honest like your instinct says.... so probably the ex?... (so no pof contact? for a month with anyone?)
I'm just guessing that.. cause something must of made his mind up to go back?
He didn't contact you for a month?
re dinner?.... well If.. he is honest?.... he was respecting you.. in saying goodbye.. respectfully...(read threads on guys/women.. who never breakup.. just disappear... never ph.. say it's over... never tell you)..
so respect.. plus seinfield.. created.. if you want to break up.. without a scene.. do it in public.. over dinner...(pay the bill.. walk away..)no scenes/dramas..
or.... (if he isn't an honest guy)...
its not done in writing...ie.... online relationships..
... anything done online....... can be kept.......
some poor men/women.. don't know if someone is going to go apeshit/revenegeful.. and then stalk..em.. send stuff to their wives etc..
(I read alot)....check... international forums)..
why his birthday?..... well. everyones nicer to people on their bday.. or.....he had nooone to be with on his bday...
or his ex knows about some chick hes been seeing......and he promised to break it off..tell her..etc..(or .. hes respectfully telling you its over..)
the birthday is a worry....(cause everyone I know who breaks up.. usually asks their ex/paryner.. did you see anyone in the split? sex etc?... that has to be dealt with before they..move forward..
otherwise it seems straight forward..
he has made his choice.. the facts are hazy...
what does he want???
He wants this...
he didnt seem to be himself so i asked him what was up and he told me that he was thinking of going back to his ex!!! He said he wasnt in love with her and wasnt even attracted but for different reasons
he wanted to go back to her
bear in mind he disappeared for a month.. didn't say.. hey im busy or going away etc..
just left?
why would you jump... after no contact from him for a month?...
I think you connected with him.. so.. maybe hoping?.. what you felt is real?.. is real for him?
I dunno..
If It was me?. Id say the guy.. wants to go back to his ex..... but liked me..
but it's over.. cause obviously.. after that.. I'd be 2nd choice.. to someone he wasn't attracted too. etc...even if.. he wasn't going back to the ex.. '
he is still telling me... im 2nd choice.. to whatever.. but if Im keen enough.. I could be backup?... (not me.. its obviously over to me..)
Id figure he would want me to feel good about me...miss me.. liked me..
(the whole they don't understand me thingy.. except.. im not attracted to her.. blah blah..)..cause.. they put down they're exes alot don't they?... (in I can't talk to her.. she got fat after the kids.. etc.. )..(well that's what guys say... or write on forums etc... and he would'nt want me to think he was anything but a nice guy...now would he?
besides.. IF Im keen.. I already waited a month no contact... surely Id do that again? cause I made it obvious I liked him?.... (well not me.. but hyperthetically)
hey.. best I can do..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
29 (
view
)
poetry as foreplay
Posted:
10/24/2009 2:28:13 PM
I wonder if any budding PoF poets can top these entries?
Nope can't top 'em..
but ..have a go...
When I met you .....You were sexy and HOT..
But now I'm sober.... and now your NOT..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
43 (
view
)
Is the government making people lazy?
Posted:
10/14/2009 8:10:29 PM
46.2 per cent of the tax burden is paid by those earning in the $25,001 to $75,000 income range, which is 63.7 per cent of taxpayers.
And Im not arguing with you re your.. human/financial interaction..
but on this point...low income earners...$25,000...(well gist.. I ain't an accountant)..
well as I said I'm out of date since govt changeover re tax brackets/percentages.. not sure if some went down?
The $25,000 though.. is wayyyyyyyy different to higher tax brackets...
for eg.. $25,000 (without any claims.. to reduce taxable income)..
take $6,000 off.. nooone pays tax on that..... + $19,000...
and yes what Im quoting is a year ago... I will catch up once all the tax reform has taken place..this is an eg.. and dosent include kid rebates..http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080706042711AAgFxA8
Does anyone know the rate of tax return when your a individual and temporary resident? would i claim all may tax? my total gross income is around $18,000 to $19,000.my tax is around $5,500 i just started working last January because i just got here in Australia last December. any accountants or anyone who know's this please help me out......thanks..
the information about yourself is quite limited to produce the tax implication in regard to your situation.
Before determine what is your tax rate, it is important to work out whether you are an Australian resident for tax purposes.
If you are an individual, holding a temporary resident visa, staying in Australia more than 6 months, working in the same place and live in one place, and you intend to take up Australian Residency in the future and live in Australia permanently, YES...you are an Australian resident for tax purposes
(in case, some of these above requirement do not meet, you can assume as they do. According to your situation I think it is possible to get you in of the Australian resident for tax purposes)
If you are considered an Australian resident for tax purposes, your tax return would be...
assessable income = $19,000
Deduction = nil (yes, if applicable)
Total taxable income = $19,000
Tax on this income = ($19,000 - $6,000)*.15 = $1,950
because your taxable income is less than $30,001, you are entitled to low income tax offset of $750
Total withheld = $5,500
Estimated tax refund = $5,500 + $750 - $1,950 = $4,300.
(disregard medicare levy and related claim as more information is required).
So, to answer your question based on the information given, u cant claim all your tax withholding. the minimum u can claim is the amount of $4,300.
Hope this answer help.
Source(s):
http://www.ato.gov.au/Individuals/content.asp?doc=/content/64131.htm
http://www.ato.gov.au/individuals/content.asp?doc=/content/12333.htm
so as an eg only.. ^^^^ cause its prolly outta date...
so theortetically they would get most of any tax back.. ie.. $5,500 they paid.. take the $4,300 they got back..== a total of.. $1,200 paid in taxes..(on $19,000).. The tax on $25,000 would be ? 17%?.. used to be.. so 25take $6,000=$19,000=$2,500..less $750=...$1,750..... without rebates or refund on tax paid..
dosen't include any kids.. deductions etc..
tax does my head in...(only egs.. not accurate taxation)but the gist of amt of refunds.. and tax paid.. (would pay for a coupla potholes.. ..no where near schooling etc..)
sure pollies.. get this.. for petrol money?...maybe?
What I find unfair.. is... its not across the board.. in what.. different industries can...
claim..not claim...
ie Kerry taught us all.. indirectly.. setting up..or buying a co.. off the shelf.. (once thourourly investigated/clean from liability etc.. you pay co tax.. plus.. either family trusts.. different tax rates.. have all income get paid to a company then draw your wage from there.. heaps more tax breaks.. tax rates etc.. if over a certain tax bracket).. but of course.. its probably changed..
and will change.. bloody confusing.... just an eg though.. I know people in much higher tax brackets who know legal ways to minimise taxincome... kids/spouses.. etc...
ohh gawd tax does my head in.. and why I pay my accountant..
! politician tried to fight the unfair benefits pollies get.. re pensions ..tax free things etc.. he tried to refuse to take the benefits..(I can't remember his name.. )anyhoo the other pollies told him they are not giving the perks up.. so accept it.. he also apparently couldn't refuse it..
I will try and find his name...mandate.. but he too saw how unfair it was was the average person taxation/.. as oppossed to the pollies.. having a totally different.. rules.. in tax free monies etc.. ...
go figure..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
39 (
view
)
Is the government making people lazy?
Posted:
10/14/2009 4:50:37 PM
The Kerry Packer quotes.. was that from a 60 minutes interview?....a longggg time ago?.. IF so.. I remember listening intently.. cause I like to learn from experienced people....
I know his comments... lead me to investigate/research, how rich people do minimise their tax... I learn't some very interesting stuff...... as I'm sure a few people did...
cause I talked to some... quite prepared to claim /
organise their finances/legally...
but yet pay as little tax(try get to a lower tax bracket/percentage).. as they could..
I've mentioned this before.. ... and I'm not sure if it was applicable to all govt workers or just hospital workers... But.. the govt....themselves.... informed these employers.. how to bring down their taxable income...
eg my mum could use a credit card up to $8,000..annually... on any exspense.. groceries/alcohol.. clothes etc... didn't matter and.. any family member could assist in this.. for eg.. she had a cedit card#.. I was given/approved by her to the bank in my name with a limit up to $7,000.. anything she or I purchased on said card #... went towards the $8,000.. in bringing down her taxable income..(all legal)
I would just do all my shopping on her card then go pay her the cash..(cause I don't like debt.. nor paying interest on debt)..PLus Im obviously totally trustworthy, otherwise my mum would''nt give me her card..
the point is..... why was'nt everyone who pays tax... able to do this?...fairness within a system..
I'm not up to speed with the latest tax stuff.. and I know some was changing this july? and next?.. so Ill check into it then.. otherwise Ive got a vague..idea.. (of what catorgory my return is../guidelines and just let my accountant do it..
So from my understanding... nooone is taxed on the first $6,000 they earn?... so If you live under $6,000 .. (yes I know people who do..and donot get any govt assistance... including being part of medicare)...
legally they donot.. have to lodge a tax return... They work for themselves.. have organised their lifestyle/living costs.. they can work..if they want.. or don't want..
when they want.. when they don't.. theyre not lazy.. in fact they do hard work..
but.. they feel free. their time is theirs.. no they don't drive nor have electricity.. nor phones.. theyre housing is not capitialism housing.. so housing cost is approx $400 a year(to council rates ) plus hours of work/time for their community.. roads are private..and maintained by them..(they also can work someone elses community time.. who will then pay their rates.. so no money needed.. except for food/clothes/candles or whatever ... each year
I know quite a few people.. who are
entitled to medicare
.. but they refuse it.. and pay the doctor visit/tests if need be,.... (1 was saving up for fertility testing.. about$600- $800?.. not sure).. whereas alot of people just get an ultra sound for free..
IVe seen grown men.. practically cry.. cause they are so staunch...berated//ranted about dole bludgers for decades.. only to find their back just collapsed.. and they have.. lain.. stubbornly.. unable to work..move.. etc.. to eventually.. getting a disability pension.. but gee.. they looked broken from it..(plus they worked from childhood.. so had no schooling.. so can't read/write.. to even ask for help.. to fill in a form?)
I live in a community where.. nooone would starve..unless theyre pride let them.. people who will give up
their job for a couple weeks..to someone who needed it more
(cause we dont have great housing/lifestyles as in fancy.. so costs can be low).. to someone.. who needs the work.. cause theyre kid is sick or hubby.. hurt himself.. etc..or we will have a whip around.. if we know someone is doing it tough..(I'd say..most people would not live the way we do though... they like all the luxeries money can buy.. and are quite prepared to work..get into debt for it.. some just prefer.. simple life.. no debt.. toys..etc.. )
most people I know..personally... (from all stages of capitilsm)... are grateful.. if given anything..
prepared to wear 2nd hand clothes.. dig a hole for a meal.. help a single mum.. or elderly women...chainsaw wood.. for her mending his clothes..etc..
Unless people sit/listen to others stories.. (got to love community)
ITs easy.. to assume/judge...
IN the cities.. IT would be alot different.. re needing money... (who knows your face?. your needs?...)
in the bush.. and if your not into consumerism.. unless needed.....well. .. you dont need that much..especially if no electricity or appliances.. or owning cars...
just a perspective...
besides capitialists.. need people who can never afford to buy homes.. etc.. so they can rent forever.. paying off the capitialists houses.. etc... if capitalism was taken off food/housing.. everyone .. would.. need less money.. and others wouldnt profit from those with less.. as much.....
maybe everyone could job share... sharing the 1wage..and hours..
they're tax would be lower.. their lifestyle/options.. would go down..(if it involved wanting to buy anything like a car/house.. and maybe people would feel..better about more equality?options?.... noone would be not working.. and nooone would.. be complaining... about them..not working... ...perhaps people might start.. complaining cause they want more work.. so they can have a better quality of lifestyle?
and as ive said IM not against capitialism.. im part of it.. but im not a huge consumer?
compared?.. but I am compared to some.. just I know how much my yearly costs are..
how much I need.. anything other than that is.. well luxury..a choice..
I dont need more than 2 pairs of boots.. 1 for work/outside ! for going out.. which become work.. ones once work ones die.. (plus I got a kids size foot so.. $30 every couple years.. ironically I get given shoes/clothes.. so have more than 2 pairs now..
I could not imagine going and doing a weeks work..eg $500.. to buy 1 pair of fancy shoes to wear a couple times in 10 years?... that's not worth selling my time for.. to me..
and yes i admit ive got no class/style you cant dress me up or take me anywhere.. ill admit it..
just a few different takes on it all.
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
32 (
view
)
Is the government making people lazy?
Posted:
10/13/2009 10:22:44 PM
Obviously this thread has covered quite a few different angles to capitialism...lifstyles..
government...statistics.. taxation....people.. attitudes.. perceptions ...rights..judgements..etc
I personally.. do not like any corrupt system..
Rorting.. in the government sector.. mismanagement...
In my opinion could be better managed.. more personal/individual... liability for the countries..funds.. etc..
I'd start there....personally ..if we are talking actual monetary value..
I'm not going to list rorting within the welfare system..that exists..(because people profit from giving this information,to overseas..people... and manipultors.. take adavantage..with the knowledge )
from loopholes...agreements..etc.. that can exist from. non australian born persons../citizens.. (btw..that is not racism nor directed at other races.. ).. just how people...
can envy Australians lifestyle.. and want to live here..(we are ranked 2nd in most desirable place to live.. ).. Do I know of ways people can rort our welfare system.. from people not born here?..yes)..
and I'm not gunna help em..
<div class='quote'>Is the government making people lazy?
Well...capitilism..works on making money.. the lazier people are.. the more others make money...profit from laziness...
eg we are told.. we need.. fruit and vegies everyday.. A serve is 1/2 a cup of vegies.. and pieces of fruit.. etc.. this will keep you healthy..fibre/vits/minerals etc)
eg...you don't want to cook a meal for your kids 7 days a week?.. no problem.. there is take away...
or tins..or frozen prefab food.. just add water.. ..
appliances.. like washing machines ..etc...
I hand wash.. (can't have a washing machine..cause we don't have that amount of water.. although I do use a laundromat as a luxury sometimes.. just an eg... on modern day appliances/living expectations in laziness.. as oppossed to what? progress..?.. better lifestyle..)capitilism wants you to work..make money..(have less time..) and pay others to do what you are too lazy to do....or are too tired.. dont have time to do..buy appliances to make things easier for you.... saves you time/effort...
not specifically welfare.....plus debt.. get into debt.. then you can't be lazy.. or own your own time.. your obligated..
<div class='quote'>Does easy access to welfare payments make people less inclined to look for work?
From my understanding...(and I will admit I'm not up to date on this as factual)...the welfare reform... actually ... stopped welfare being that easy?
Didn't say..? that you now have to work for the dole?... which is a couple days?.. and a certain amount of hours per week?(not accurate on this)
and if you don't or are late on a form etc.. you don't get paid for 6 weeks?
((i have no idea how much the dole is... but it seems to me.. IT would be hard to even pay rent..exist on?..going offa rental prices..)
I thought they made it harder for people to actually get the dole?
and from my understanding.. like my area.. nooone can move into low job prospect areas?.. unless family ties?.. is that still acurate? so not alot of people actually want the govt.. in their face/lifstyle everyday.. telling them where they can live.. what they can do with their time/days/weeks etc..
I'd say for alot of people.. this is incentive.. to not want govt assistance..I know people from aust..other countries that want to live where I do.. but they can't if they are on the dole...
<div class='quote'>Does the single parent pension provide an unintended incentive for
women
to just have kids and stay at home rather than look for work?
(by the way.. I know lots of dads who received this.. not just women..so who are making these women pregnant?... just quietly.. men are..mostly.. [
{yes some women choose ivf to have a child then go on the pension.. but statistically?..low?..)
so.. yep.. they ..
men
need to take responsibility for birth control..(yes the govt is starting to make men pay for their part in pregnancy)...
as well as women.. true I know people who have fallen pregnant on the pill.. but condoms... well if a man dosen't want to be a father... or get a women pregnant.. why should she be soley judged?.)..works both ways..
Did'nt welfare reform.. change it.. that you only get the
single person pension..
until the child is 5?... school age.. at that time you need to undertake study? a career choice?...to keep it?(once again I'm not exact on this info..and don't they lose payment for.. the child once 16?... but still have to house/clothe etc...?
Didn't the welfare law reform.. crack down on fathers?...( and mothers if absent /working) so they pay towards
their
children's upkeep.. even if the mother/father is on a pension?..( ie the govt takes from the pension.. and the father pays?. what the govt used too?
in part?
from my understanding..?
I did read these reforms years ago..
but have not spoken to people in the situations..individually..
my sons 27.. its not relevant to me...
don't
some working parents also get wefare payments for children?
.. tax breaks.. etc/... family payments?..thats classed as welfare.. isn't it?
I don't get to claim kids on my tax.. but IT dosent worry me.. my time as a parent.. child dependant has passed... just saying... middle class welfare exists as part of the whole picture..
so alot of people with kids/working get free school.. govt family payments..
how much does that work out if they add up.. annual gross income and tax breaks..benefits returned..etc?
its all relative..
<div class='quote'>Lots of loaded questions here, now let's see what kind of responses we get
lots loaded questions.. but yet lot's of unasked questions within the welfare system...
which could be trimmed.. nods..
I have more to add.... on other issues brought up in this thread.. re humans/eco system/children/population..taxation..laws/
lifestyle..choices..depts.. etc.. but.. sigh its already long..and yep.. I hear the forum groan.. when I say I do have research on certain areas raised.. and as we know I dislike assumptions..labels..etc... cause they are ignorant..
hopefully I'll forget..to repost.. so take a breathe..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
19 (
view
)
Do older women fancy quite younger men?
Posted:
10/12/2009 6:22:46 PM
Hi OP...
And this post is to you..op directly
if others choose to read it.. well it's long.. your choice..
To some... this post straight away may lead to the thought of sex but definitely isn't.
I'm talking about friendships, relationships, just a chat, or a shoulder to lean on.
what I quoted you on.. leads to my answer.. ie non sexual..but a longing/desire to know older women/interact..as oppossed to cougars.. young men..(sex urges/interaction/relationship) have I got that right?..
disclaimer I am not against capitialism...
but that dosen't preclude being able to see both the pros/cons of a
system
.. so.. that being said..
The society we presently live in is structured predominantly as a capitalist one.. (yes throw in some other structures we exist with also)..
Now some of the results of such a society is.. money is the objective.. consumerism.. etc.. (what does this have to do with older women /younger men?)
This
....humans.. are essentially a tribal/pack animal..capitilsm does not encourage this core human
interaction..which is another subject.. but relevant to touch on.. (so lets look at core longings.. as opposed to the society ..we live in which does not.. particuarly in cities.. deal with.. or recognise.. this inner desire of being a tribal/pack being)...
It means. nowadays.. people may have become more isolated?... less interaction with all ages/sexes.. thought processes.. stages of life.. maturity..ages etc..
So.. Ill use my community as an eg...(just the human..part.....avoiding ... social econimocal structure..)
here we have all age groups..
we interact.. daily with all ages...
for eg as a young male child.. you would of been taken with your mother(if she was alive)... to all the women gatherings.. you would of grown up.. knowing women of all ages.. they would be your adopted aunties/grandmothers..
as you grew.. you would of sat with/and know mature women.. you would of heard they're wisdom/life experiences..(so the part in young people drawn to maturity/wisdom.. confidence.. would of being fed.. completely.. with spirit love.. acceptance.. just because you were part of community.. you wouldnt ever have to resort to sex.. to feel.. that..)
So this part in young men.. growing.. might of been satisfied.. in respecting older women.. comfy within their own skin.. you would of been nurtured..you could go to anyone of them.. if your mum wasn't available..and needed help/advice...or comfort...
or you couldnt discuss.. the sometimes confusing aspects.. of getting moreeee testerone.. body changes.. attraction to girls/women.. and maybe not sure how to deal with it.?.etc..
whats expected of a young man with such urges?..changes?.. how does a young man attract women.. to satisfy these urges?.. how does a women..think/feel.. as a gender?... by interacting with safe.. non sexual.. aunties/grandmas.. you would of heard.. learn't.. all types of different women discuss such things..from age 1.... grown up.. concious of women/knowledge..
and when you were confused...
re longings/urges etc.. (or developed crushes on elders.. which can be normal..or part of the confusing...
I feel therefore my feelings get expressed with sex..
..ie you would of learnt different loves.. expressions of.. some go to respect/nurturing.. some go to lust.. some go to agape.. just your loved because you are.. you...and you dont have to do anything but accept that.. your loved..
but its up to the elders to set boundaries.. in.. knowing this.. and the stages...(both young girls//young boys)can go through...
knowing you will grow out of the confusing..times of finding out the difference between..hormones/urges.. love/lust... and being safe to do so..and having trust to feel such confusing things.. and nooone will take from you.. just let you evolve/grow through the changes..
and our boys? our young men?... as we get older they're respect.. they want to look after us... protect us.. as we age...
So op... maybe?.. you have not had interactions with women from aged 1-90?... like in my community..
where. maybe/.. because you havent.. you may see wisdom.. or confidence in older women.. they you find attractive?... and know it wouldnt have to be sexual?
where I live.. our young men/boys.. get this interaction.. so.. they go through that phase feeling quite safe to act out. to have such fantasies.. (because they're mothers friends.. adoptive aunties/grandmothers.. would never act upon .. them.. knowing full well young men and young women can go through these stages)..
its sadly lacking in some societies/communities...
where children donot get to grow up.. knowing all ages/community and feeling safe in their stages of acting out/developement..
these are just some thoughts... to consider..OP>.
maybe if you volunteer.. amongst organisations.. that involve older women.. you will learn their wisdom.. maturity.. etc.. and it might help you.. fulfill.. a need..
its just a thought to consider.. because nooone can know exactly your circumstances/desires etc.. so no judgement..on anyone.. cause.....yes there are women here..
who go for younger guys.. and men for younger chicks...
but they are not children..they saw grow up....
here.. that would be disgraceful.. to take anothers child you saw grow up.. at the age of 20?.....
but.. in our society.. people are more isloated... donot have that connection/learning of all aspects of relationships.. predominately.. so.. some have no boundaties..no issues.. they are not connected to .. others... so anything is ok...
im just saying.. if you had grown up connected with a community of ages/people...
your curiosity.. might of been qhenched as you grew..
And I say all this because
you specifically indicated it wasn't directed.. sexually towards older women.. and perhaps these feelings.. are simply wanting wisdom on how women think/feel etc.. which is normal.. in development..
if you had said it was allllllll about sexual urges towards older women?... but you did'nt
I wish you well.
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
5 (
view
)
Sex....beautiful or ugly?
Posted:
10/10/2009 11:24:42 PM
This ugly old farts not getting any. So it must be the beautiful people.
Gday.. You ever thought about dancing?....
My ex's mum came for a visit once... and told us she met heaps of guys.... at dancing..
(up her way)
She dragged us out to a bowling club.. (was dancing night)... my ex nor son would dance with her.... so she picked on me..
Never one to not help a lady if I can .. I gave it a whirl....
but apparently I trod on her feet.. couldn't dance etc.. (all true).. so she dumped me..
THen sat on the side and some guy came over and danced with her..
I reckon I noticed it was full of women... and the guys pretty much had a huge choice...
great pickup spot.. for lots lonely women...looking for fun...companionship etc..
plus if you dont dance much.. they would probably loveeeeee to teach you..nice social night anyway.. even if you dont dance..
either that or bingo... .. plant yaself at a table full of women..
dont interupt em.. though..when the game is on... cause they dont like that..
might even get a frozen chook outta it.. plus its fun.. haha
Re op.. what's sex?.... Did they have it back in my day?
can't remember what it is...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
51 (
view
)
Is separated, married?
Posted:
10/10/2009 5:15:08 PM
Anyway I would be interested to know what others (this means you Nana) think before I am once again required to don my Methuselah coat and begin the second round of quasi paternal talking to myself.
Well... I would have to personally talk to him.. her.. before I'd advise them.. for various reasons...
There are way too many variables.. in complex legal. relationships..
defacto.. or marriage... or long term.. ie the emotional/spirit comittment/attachment...
is what I look for in a couple.. so marriage ..(or defacto) to me is more about that..
Having seen many relationships.. lets say marriages.. where this is not there... leaves their marriage as more a legal institution.. rather than an emotional one.. attachment..
Ie.. they could really dislike each other... living like seperate.. but in the same house.. (legal/bills issues)... etc..
some relationships are over years before they seperate.. finally..
I could give several egs of such relationships.... and when they did finally say..ok its officially over..... meet partners.. not long after.. they knew it was officialy over..
THey had in fact grieved.. the loss of the relationship.. the loss of love.. etc.. way before officially over..)
These people.. had faced.. ./ experienced what they felt their relos lacked.. and knew more what they wanted in a partner.. way before it become official..
So determining.. this young mans.. very..very recent.. breakup?....
would for me depend on alot of factors.. relationship history.. how he speaks about his ex... children?.... mortgages etc....and his age...
I personally was legally seperated.... ie on paper.. I wanted name off the mortgage.. of the bills etc... ... we did settlement.. sorted legalities.. .. except for the divorce..
Which didnt happen until about 12 years..later... why?.... various reasons..
but in noway.. we're we ever going to get back together...
the divorce legal paper.. well. it wasnt really relevant.. we had legal papers.. disolving all partnership...we were in effect disolved through legal sources.. as quickly...as we could...
So I would of been seperated.. If I had been on a dating site.... but.... as a label/term..
divorced in emotiona/lifestyle/connection/commitment..
He has a long term partner and at the time.. she wasnt fussed re the divorce.. because she didn't want to get married.. so..
Not knowing ages/circumstances etc.....In this case.... dunno..
But your young friend knows what she wants.... in a relationship..(which is good)
and I see no reason why she should compromise that stance or waste her youth/time.. and possible emotional self to experiences... that may entangle/hurt her...
when she could have........ herself available (emotionally.. lifestyle etc)to meet a partner.. who may fullfil.. her perceived needs/wants..
youth dosent last that long in hindsight.. wasting it on.. something.. that will only rob us of that.. ..well. why not enjoy youth.. with the one you .. want to be with for a happy relationship...For me once I'm in love.. even if the guy is not good for me... .. (youth sighs.. didnt know).. now I'm older.. falling in love.. is far different to youth.. and
Im more aware.. and It would be quite ..not easy to do.. well for me...
Why is he suddenly chasing her with more vigour?..... well age... circumstances.. character.... would .. have to be known.....
If she is not overtly attracted to him...... and can be friends?..... then he might heal.. go romp/play.. whatever/.. he needs to do to heal....know what he wants in his future.. and more importantly.. What he dosent want... does he take responsibility for any mistakes he made in his relationship?....perhaps his ex.. had issues? or he did..
or they personally were not compatable...
perhaps he has qualities she may never see in someone again?.... I can go years without seeing someone who interests me..... bUt some people can just have relationships/bond...fall in love.. with just about any body...
Whether he chases her or not.. is neither here nor there.... what is.. for her..
Is her knowing what she wants and dosent want in life/partner..
me personally.. I ask seperated people.. questions to determine where they are at....
IM at a different life stage.. and would much prefer someone.. who is independant once again..and desires a companion... because it would enhance .. their happiness... not cause they cant stand being alone.. for eg..
or not in love with someone or hurt.. undealt with.. but thats my choice..
Maybe remind her.. that a protein is released into the bloodstream.. (measurable).. when someone thinks they are in love..... This protein.. starts to decline ... over the first 6 months... (coencidently.. this correlates with pyschology.. re... people are putting best foot forward.. etc.. in first 6 months.. but can't maintain that..(perhaps an old courting.. behaviour? so about 6 months..
the real... person starts to come out alot more.. over time...which is who you will see how a partnership might be over years..
perhaps.. IF she keeps this thought..and responses.. in 6 months.. It might look different?... besides if he really is everything she is looking for.. hormones etc aside...
the connection will still be there in 6 months...Id probably give him a packed lunch.. tell him to go and play for 6 months.. then .. come see me.....(but she sounds slightly already attached?.. if she wasn't... then .... she already has seen signs.. he dosent want what she does.. different phases of life.... ya get that...
if he had really already dealt with everything else.. otherwise theres a reason 12 month.. seperation before divorce.... would depend on him/his circumstances..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
227 (
view
)
How do you really feel about getting old?
Posted:
10/10/2009 12:59:29 AM
If you are going to chaperon outings for the elderly then I am afraid that these kind of things are going to happen.
hmmmmmmmmmm.... noooo. carry on... I'll stand here whilst you remove your boot/foot from your mouth...
But... dosen't that boot tread hurt ya tongue?
deep..sigh...... I reckon .. you are gunna smell like sheep dip.. by the end of the month...
I spoke to my bro this week.... hmmm. was telling him.. how I had suddenly noticed..I'm the last single person I know....
and how disenchanting it was.. to hear/see...most.. think online dating is the new way to meet...
considering ... my town has few single males....
sighs..
He lovingly..informs me ... 'Well you are considered past your used by date"
thanx bro.....
I said...fuk noooooooo.. I'm like the good fine china... kept high up on the shelf..... granted .......... covered in dust....
and Only ... ever used.. on special occassions..
sigh..
can't wait for the next occasion..
hope someone licks the pattern offa me...
after a fine meal.....
ps.. havent seen many men... admit to their aging changes.........???
we all know they go through them.. but we..... are too polite to mention them?
yep we are.. we love our boys......but we know....
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
222 (
view
)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/9/2009 12:24:07 AM
I must live in a highly skilled part of the world...ha ha
lol- I was thinking of putting my house on the market- what are land prices like up there?
ohh I wouldn't move.. it's a virtual puddle..drought.. (but I don't go out much.. and those that are skilled have aged..... settled down... with women.. ohh say 10-15 years younger than them?... I personally would not of done long term with any of them....)..the other is up far nrth qsl..
well perhaps.. I shoulda put that
in past tense..
(been a few years)...
as in statistical..re others experiences...
not seen.. any new talent..(gold) since ww2..(dosent mean its not here.. but damn.. you can't go 2nds.. well I don't.. )
but if anything new comes on the market.. I'll let you know..
bad thing about a small town.. is.. you sorta know most people....
you really can't ...get involved with a girlsfriend ex.. well i dont..
if he is new.. well ... it's his choice.. if a few like him.... can't help that....
A relationship..though.. hmmm. .... i mean gold is obvious.. so most women.. are intereted in them also.. (well usually my experience.. once the women start chasing him...I shrug.....I tend to just walk away.. )
not sure.. .. re long term.... whether I'd choose gold.. based on gold..
I much prefer compatability/harmony..etc.. and not having other women chase my guy..
but that's me...
sighs..
But if I see/hear of anything..... I'll certainly let you know...
but I'm first on the list....
trust me... ive waited longggggggggg...enough..
as for charm/persona.. re men.... I think of casanova...
and it's only my perception...on it..
but.. IT seems to me.. he had the women..thing I'm talking about..... he also had the charm... but it was'nt empty charm..cause.. well he had the goods to back it up
ie.. I couldn't imagine him bragging....
My perception.. is.. he earnt a reputation.. by word of mouth?..orally..perhaps..
amongst women?..... ... who told her girlfriend etc..etc...
and history would show?.... he obviously.. had the skill/talent of loving/pleasuring women.....he didn't need to brag..... or tout his abilities...
case study...
He just was..... and women responded......
his story.. I think probably alerts most guys.. to.. how to....not keep a women.. but certainly attract them...
"Racecar driving is like sex, all men think we're good at it"
- Jay Leno
Well ..yes we said that pages ago.... most guys
think
they're good..
but the proof is in the .........ohh never mind..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
219 (
view
)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/8/2009 9:01:10 PM
To tell the truth I haven't struck many men that are indeed skilled at oral sex despite professing great prowess.
Well. before POF.. ..(forums?)I've never(except for 1) had a guy
say he was good at oral...
That's not how I can tell.... from how a man speaks...about women....
that would be him..speaking about him...
Except for 1 guy.... he reckons he was as good as.... my gold.. would of been...
(mind you he was trying to convince me.. I'd like being with him...)
and his ex just happened to be there.. during the convo.. and she confirmed/backed him up that he was indeed a master..
but who knows..
I never went there...
edit.. but I'm starting to think.. I must live in a highly skilled part of the world...ha ha
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
216 (
view
)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/8/2009 6:24:44 PM
And what about when she tenses up so hard that your fingers are tender for days? One cannot stop at the critical moment just because one's fingers are being crushed.
Oral isn't an art. It's a full contact sport.
[/shameless self advertising]
OHH Dear.... sounds like you have been dating the vice squad...
lucky they don't have teeth..hey?
That could be sorta dangerous...
grasshopper.. Im worried now... Please keep a ph close by to you.. in all sporting activities.. .... just in case you need to call the rescue squad...
and there is nothing wrong with self marketing./... ...
knowing your good points/qualities.. and your bad point/qualities.. is just being truthful.. real..even...
now I'm going to have a nice cuppa tea and a nana nap..
wait to the girls at bingo hear about this...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
211 (
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)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/8/2009 1:43:50 AM
**gathers around the fireplace with hot chocolate and marshmallows**
well.. I'ts good to see you grasshopper.. your presence has been noted and duly missed.. hope your world is going nicely for you..
Alas.. you might of missed a few pages?.. we covered teaching youngins.. the peach method..
and why secret womens business.. we don't devolge such signs..... to protect women.. from the fake..manipulaters etc.. who mask ... the signals guys give off..
leading many a poor womon astray/hurt..(read back we discussed it on this thread)
the male elders.. need to teach the young man.. how to please a women.. (not nannas)..
and how a women will know.. that a man can please her..
yes... keeping a woman happy.. is perhaps one of the golden rules.. in a successful.. relationship..
but each women is different.. also...(and don't worry too much about being compared.. cause quite frankly.. if she has never experienced the best.. well.. she dosen't know what she is missing..)
And if she has been in a long drought....well... any water is good.. nods....
I will say this..
confidence
in anything you
know
you do well..
is very attractive.. in any field..(and swap the marsmallows to a peach for practice.. scroll back a few pages.. its there)
the art of the aussie kiss..
a kiss down under..
well practise makes perfect..
looking at a women..like she is the most beautiful creature on this earth.. (even if she dosen't believe it..herself.. and even if as ugly as a hat full of .. )
is an art a gift.. and never to be confused with.. a sleazy.. apprasial..look..
ohh yes the art of seduction is exactly that..
an art
but not that i know re men.. (would like a female seductress to teach me actually)
but I do.. know when men do it.. its an artform.. and its
genuine
... thats the key....being real....
Sigh...I guess its back to the remedial reading class for me
bangs head on keyboard.. sighs/groans.. throws hands in the air...
i imagine you with a real life women.. with a book in one hand.. whilst glancing at her occassionally.. with exhibit..b.. slot A goes into slot.. B.. etc..
the mind/ heart/the soul.. is where we express .... love/intimacy.. not books...
(unless its home surgery.. then its ok.. im all for that)
you aint putting a barbie together... ha .. ha ..ha..
your not doing a airplane model... which bit goes with this bit..etc..
you gotta feelllllllllllllllllllll..it.. some things .. a book can give you the theory/logic.. but by crikey... sometimes you take that knowledge and just wing it...
ie you know.. what responses theoretically will occur from certain anatomy../biology..
etc...
but.. unless you can enact upon it... .. then... its not supposed to be clinical
take the surgical gloves off.. and risk ..pleasure...
like yes...... there are erronous zones,.. but you dont push em on a women.. like your programming a dvd player or microwave.. etc...ok i just pushed the nipple.. her response will be? (dunno what did the book say).. i push the next button on the women.. (nope no movement.. etc)
to me the skin.. the largest body organ.. is the canvas of all pleasure.. touched rightly.. hmmmmmmmmmm
back to the peaches...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
179 (
view
)
Are you a literacy snob?
Posted:
10/8/2009 1:02:48 AM
^^^ There realy is a The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
This could be the best day of my life
well if it's talking about parts....of my anatmony... I can assure you it was only published in brail..
no pop ups..
sad but true
but then some women.. wear pushup..pop up bras.. and sadly.. once the pop ups are removed..
resemble white chocolate slowly melting.. down to their knees.
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
207 (
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)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/7/2009 8:12:31 PM
I am afraid that you have just been unlucky enough to have always be allocated to the control group and if you are in the control group, well, you just don’t get the treatment
Now.. my memory is hazy... or some things are just not memorable..
But I'm fairly sure I've only ever been in the control group.. once..
actually probably more than once.. as the memory of youth fades...
most think they're good at it... most really.. are.. well..
Otherwise.. I ... have experienced.. greatness.....
And boy do you notice the difference..
As I encouraged.. this amazing experience... with encouraging words...obviously
articulating happiness...
HE stops to inform me.. this is why the french earned their reputation as good lovers..
"Thats nice sweetie... but please don't talk with your mouth full"
now is not the time to talk about culture or history...
Fortunately... for me
He went from the
best
... to 2nd place .. taking the silver medal....
Knocked out.. by a Gold medalist..... sigh...
starts singing//memories/..like the corner of my........
I'm hoping for a 3rd place bronze.. to present themselves.. before I cark it..
But...
I'm secretly hoping.. someone will come along and knock gold outta first place.. moving my silver to bronze..
ohhhhhh.. niccceeeeeeee.. well we can live and hope..
And my gold taught me.. how to tell........ from how a man speaks.. about women...
who to look out for... and tell the experts from the..... not so... the.. average.. to ...
probably not worth the effort...
so unless the medicores learn this vital mating ritual.. way of ... articulating their expertise..... and having the expertise... well...
some talents may go unexplored...overlooked.. ..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
175 (
view
)
Are you a literacy snob?
Posted:
10/7/2009 4:18:09 PM
The slow grey fox..
dosen't wear jox
ever since the pox,
gets his rox off
in his sox
no not a literacy snob...
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
167 (
view
)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/5/2009 8:13:05 PM
who jump pathetically at the first chance to try to pit the one against the other for their own ends....
Great point^^^^^
debating....
Ohhh but this is a great analogy...perhaps of a marriage?...a caring relationship...?
a caring friendship even.. (feeling safe to oppose/express a view contrary to the other).. which realistically will occurr..over and over again..
so dealing with this..might indicate a persons ability to sustain a relationship?
Communication...is a learning (ongoing) skill.. between 2 people.. who if at the base/core
like and respect each other....(if not.. then name calling/slinging matches..grudges ..ego hurt etc.. eventually destroy the core relationship.. or alienate both to perhaps a stance of mutual dislike?)
Yet.. in my opinion no 2 people will ever agree 100% on everything..
Whether that be a parent..to child.. a child to a parent.. a sibling.. a best friend.. an aquaintance...boyfriend..girlfriend... and yes marriage..
So yes when people have a conversation..or deabate a topic... seemingly at opposite ends of the spectrum...
IT may appear to other/onlookers.. that they are arguing/fighting..disention.. etc...is abound
but in reality.. they are exploring... challenging.. their own perceptions.. their own views.. and the process is geared towards... learning..enlightenment... and understanding...and only people with mutual respect...not let it.. effect their ego... ongoing drama(hold a grudge)...but enjoy the process of intellect/new thoughts...
much like a human chess game.... a gentlemans game if you will
where if debateing or opposing views... not seen as competitive..(or rather one has to be right.. therefore one is wrong)..(ego)
but rather the thought invigorated..is very stimulating...mentally.. etc..and hopefully common ground.. agreement to disagree even can occur..
but not with egos...
(when this base/core of respect/intent is not there)..
then it is purely a hard headed argument...
some can perceive this interaction as an argument..
rather than an exchange of intepretations/views... with at base... wanting the
truth
..on a topic.(if any truth can be exposed)
THe more comfy..... familiar you are with the intent of the person.. the more you feel safe in expressing your views.. knowing.. they won't be held against .. the person later.. as in a ego grudge.... revenge etc..
it actually shows a persons character.. in how they.. deal with.. opposing ...even passionate.. beliefs..thoughts etc..
but the 2 who do know
that
core respect... likeness.. for each other...they do not take it personally.. nor see it as an attack.. if communicated.. effectively the topic.. not the person..(hence why flame baiting.. personal slinging/ accusations... and my pet one.. labels... )are banned in a forum discussion group.. and why some people think a disagreement is discord/disention..
when its not..
recognising.. alllllllll the differences.. (and everyone is different in thoughts/experiences etc.. )
that exist..... is just reality..
how someone sees.. a debate... or perceives it..
or reacts.. is who they are....
thats why forums are great.. for over time.. you see the multifacets of everyone.. (if they post openly/honestly..)
because everyone has different..sides..parts..
friends agree/disagree.. and still at base ..love/like /respect the other core in the person..
marriage..relationships....
need 2 characters willing to disagree on certain... topics.. without grudges...anger... revenge.. ego hurt etc..
to discuss.. respect.. disagree .. compromise?..common ground.. and get back to lovin/respctin..
once names are called or accusations hurled..
well .. you cant take disrepect back.. maybe humble the ego.. and forgive or ask forgiveness..
otherwise it will just build up.. over time and one day.. one walks away...
never confusing debating with arguing.. they are 2 very different communication processes..
and both expose the 2 true characters.. when heated/passionate..
and both expose.. how someone would be in a relationship/committed/compromise/communication..
no amount of oral sex..
will compensate.. for someones inability to.. debate/disagree..respectfully ... fairly..
or grudge holding...
so theres hope for everyone I guess?
or not...
I know I look for in a person.. core intent/character.. in whether to embark on ..
even a friendship.. let alone a relationship...
I mean seriously.. who in their 40's or older wants.. drama? with someone who's..
character.. shows grudges...bitterness... ... etc..
thats not love.. and no amount of oral or sex can replace that core stuff..
peace
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
28 (
view
)
How many profiles does a genuine POF member need, or should be allowed !!!
Posted:
10/4/2009 7:34:03 PM
It's the ones that have no pic, or an obvious pic that they've lifted from a magazine or website, that are the ones to watch.
I know.. I saw a pic at the top/checked mail.. I squinted,....twice....yep that guy has an uncanny resemblance to Johhny Depp...
Yummy.... so I go look..
and no.... wait.. it had to be Johnny Depp.. himself.....looked exactly like him..
I was'nt sure what he would be doing in qsl.. on a free dating site though...
I did'nt contact him.. I figured he would be too busy..
being Johnny Dep and all.....
Nope.. back to my usual pics of guys holding dead fish..
Im starting to think........ it's A sign...
Im just meant to take up fishing or something..
resistance is futile....
Im going to get myself a pic holding a dead fish..
if you can't beat em..join em..
peace
edit..to below... hahahahahahaha... belly laugh..
thank you....you made my day..
Well it seems it depends on the size of the dead fish also..
Im not even close to figuring that part out..
although ..one did make me laugh.. all the others (on the view me page) had big/medium sized dead fish.. rows of em.... his was a tidly little thing.. (felt sorry for the fish)..but the actual pic made me laugh so I did read his profile.. cause he made me laugh
turned out it was bait on the hook.. (eeewwwwwww)
the thing is I dislike boats.. water.. Im a mountain type girl..
dont know why.. I get all the boat people..
Im positvely sure theyre nice.. guys.... they look genuine guys.. etc..
but I get seasick ..just looking at the pics.....
Its nothing personal..were just not a match..not compatable..
soulmate08
Joined:
12/30/2007
Msg:
163 (
view
)
Oral...is it a dealbreaker?
Posted:
10/4/2009 7:11:12 PM
Debate is more robust than conversation, no doubt.
Oh yes.. but conversations can evolve on many levels..
some casually and mutually pleasing..but end quickly.. although both seem happy..with a brief exchange..
they may never converse again..ships passing in the night..
some more indepth ..a meeting of minds and or souls.. stimulating, the senses..but not enough to orally stimulate more depth or interest...other than.. ocassionally.. once or twice a month..
and some more intimate..indepth.. penetrating every facet of your being..
some are much better at incorporating the whole being..involving the body language..response
as well as the oral.. pleasure... sometimes no words are needed
souls speaking to each other.. merely through presence..stimulating senses dormat to others..
a conversation.. as if both are conversing without words...
Debating.. is always interesting/intriguing.. although some opponents may leave one feeling quite bored.. whereas another..
Being familiar with their skills.. they're moves.. leaves one in a state of excited anticipation...knowing it will be completely enjoyable.. yet...knowing , suprises of new exchanges will emerge..equal..in such skills..both go head to head....with full confidence..
these type of mutual respect. debating sessions.. start with the opponents eyes meeting..the eyes ...searching each other for..their strenth/passion/understanding.. of the topic to be debated...
their eyes..meet.. their chests swell..rise with the anticpated match of passion about to be exchanged...
weighing each other up..
The topic is raised....
each major point.. is touched upon.. knowing.. each point has more indepth to come.. as it all unfolds..
sometimes it may appear like are fighting....as passions rise...
heated exchanges....
to others it may appear like one is attacking the other.. the writhing.. the body language.. seemingly .. the blood pressure rising....even appear to be ... at opposite ends of each other...like no mutual unison could ever be reached..
where one may appear having the upper hand...
or being on top.. yet just as swiftly as this position seems dominate...
the opponent seemingly underneath... can turn it around.. and be again .... on top of the topic..
a good debater.. enjoys all the positions..knowing full well... their skills.. will eventually lead them to the position.. where when it is time for summary..
the hard ramming home of points.. quickly.. confidently...will ensure.... their.... satisfaction in expounding on the topic of focus..
it is coming to a closure
and both mutually speed up.. their poistions.. eliciting last...energies..specific points are held firm... never waivering..
if the opponents.. are well matched...
they eventually reach a mutual agreement in the climax..conceding..... common ground...
sometimes debates go off topic..but, the skills..
the unexplored aspects.. can be just as enlightening and enjoyable..as the topic..itself..
and sometimes debates can just go on for hours..
both maybe moaning or grunting in frustration or pleasure..or seemingly out of this world ..feelings......disbelief or awe..... at the debate itself.. which can leave both at a loss for words.. so mere grunts suffice.... injected here and there..
but the act of debating is so mutually pleasurable..
they are prepared to agree in unison
to take a break.. and wait for another topic.. to arise..
if mutually compatable.. this usually dosen't take too long..
ohh to find a ...well matched... debater..as opposed to casual conversations..
theyare farand few between and special when they come..along in life..
not met one for too long now...
I think I miss debating..
damn I think I even need to just go out and have a conversation..
but not a casual one..
peace
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