I think I am to over protective. What to do??? chat & forums.

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Thread: I think I am to over protective. What to do???

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

I think I am to over protective. What to do??? Posted: 11/13/2008 2:17:43 PM
Since in school everything is discussed, and they are even cussing in elementary school (at least in these parts) now, I think it is better to have some exposure to things on TV while you are handy to ask questions, interject your opinions and some guidance, rather than have the kids get all their input and answers to questions via their peers.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Separated...does that mean your single or married? Posted: 3/12/2008 11:48:48 AM
In this neck of the woods, if there is any kind of contesting, the average is 5-6 years nowadays.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Whats the best way to date when having kids? Posted: 3/12/2008 11:45:01 AM
Best to get that information out before you even consider getting out for a meet. Weed out those not interested right off the bat, the ones you haven't scared off are more likely to be the caliber of person you are interested in to begin with.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

What happen? Should? Parenting Classes be taught in public school? Posted: 3/12/2008 11:37:11 AM
Parenting and techniques for parenting have changed to radically over the past couple of decades, I'd think it would be worth a semester at least. People don't realize they just what an undertaking and responsibility having a kid is until after the fact.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

Ex wife announced a potential move Posted: 3/12/2008 11:35:04 AM
Most cases nowadays, there is a provision in the settlement that prevents moving children a certain distance away without first providing 30 days written notice, which you can start a case to ask that the child not be moved. In California, they'll appoint an attorney for the child (which if you're working you'll pay for) to evaluate the situation and basically drag things out months to years before telling the judge what to decide. Good luck.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Single dad, with 8 year old daughter, upset about mommy. Posted: 2/26/2008 9:33:28 AM
She is probably seeing tons of moms with kids at school which may be complicating things a little. I don't have suggestions for that, just something to be aware of.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Who is here & single in part b/c of the stressors a child with autism puts on a marriage? Posted: 2/21/2008 9:57:11 AM
I have a not 15yo Cerebral Palsy (severe) and 11yo Autistic, diagnosed at 3. It put a tremendous amount of strain on the relationship, all the work, appointments, school issues, medical issues, how much who does, it really does add a ton of extra stresses to a relationship. Particularly nowadays where it is almost a demand that you have a two people income.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Dating a woman with spoiled kids??? Posted: 8/29/2007 11:27:18 AM
If you have the "savior" type personality, and you are working on that, step back, take a breath, and rethink a few things. If she isn't willing to put in the same level of commitment into the relationship that you are, I'd back off and let her make some decisions, see if she wants to bring the relationship to the next level. If you are working in savior mode hoping things will work out in your favor in the long run, you'll probably take a hard fall once she starts deciding to take more control of her life. Just something to think about.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Problem with potential step child Posted: 8/28/2007 11:39:28 AM
A lot of great suggestions, but the biggest problem (IMHO) is you need to come to a game plan with the SO, one that he will back you up with. Otherwise, it eventually becomes you against both of them and you'll be the bad guy in the end. Where you can, leave the disciplining to his dad so that he is in the front line taking responsibility.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

nightmare mother in law Posted: 6/21/2007 10:07:30 AM
Sorry to hear about your son, hopefully the condition is correctable. Perhaps if the in-laws can't be respectful and supportive, it is best you only deal with the father and they can go through him.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

Hippiedom Posted: 6/20/2007 9:57:33 AM
It passed by???? I guess I should have gotten the clue when they quit making the mens levie big bells...

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Kids w/ special needs, many kids, multiples, etc Posted: 6/19/2007 10:26:20 AM
Try finding good people as an older male with two special needs kids. It is a LOT harder. It takes a really special person, a lot of spur of the moment and circumstantial planning. I was lucky enough to find that person here at POF. But then again, finding somebody really special is what it's all about, right? The good thing is you meet with the best of people, and quickly weed out the worst of people.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Please share what you know regarding babies/children with Down's Syndrome Posted: 5/22/2007 2:01:55 PM
http://www.downsyndrome.com/ has a lot of sites to information.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

24years old & single parent of a child with severe cerebral palsy Posted: 5/22/2007 1:58:13 PM
Instead of getting mad, may as well use the opportunities to educate people. It will help as a whole as he gets older and anything that can be done to make society more understanding and tolerant is a good thing. http://www.cpparent.org http://www.our-kids.org

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Do men date women if they have a child with a disability???? Posted: 5/10/2007 8:38:16 AM
I prefer to just be up front about it right off the bat and weed out those that would have a problem with it right away. There were a lot of weeds, but worked out better in the end.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Music!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 4/16/2007 9:54:19 AM
I'd rather play my own.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

6 and still wetting the bed Posted: 11/30/2006 9:00:01 AM
Use the pullups, save yourself a lot of hassle, she'll outgrow it eventually. Put the pullups over regular underwear though, since they are so absorbitant. Regular underwear will keep things just enough uncomfortable to help motivate her.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Requesting Child Support Posted: 7/7/2006 11:03:05 PM
Walk away and forget about it unless it is a matter of survival. You probably have a lot better things to do than going through the stress, time and expense of going through the courts for this issue. With her presently half across the globe, probably won't get anything anyways. If she's got a kid on the way and a new relationship, she probably won't be waltzing back into your life making demands for anything, being busy with her own life. The lack of interest will benifit you later on if she does try to become a nusance later.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

How can I get my son to stop biting? Posted: 12/22/2005 1:33:47 AM
14mo and 19mo understand consequences and a timeout on a mat or a crib will be effective. You'd think by now a daycare would be versed in how to handle biters...

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

need suggestions on getting an 18 to do housework Posted: 12/22/2005 1:30:27 AM
Perhaps you should consider a list of chores you expect done for the day. You can use some natural consequences, such as dinner, or removal of the TV, DVD player, etc.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

To parents/step-parents with kids over 18 Posted: 12/22/2005 1:18:01 AM
When they are in your home, they live by your rules. They don't like it, they can rent a hotel. Take the angle that it is a matter of courtesy. But since they are 18, I feel you need to be flexible about it, often they don't know where they are gonna be either.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

When does it become too late for the date phone call? Posted: 12/12/2005 11:17:42 PM
If they can't call the evening before to at least verify that you're on, probably best to be busy. Even if the person is great and all, kind of a bad precident to set.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Fondling can often lead to more Posted: 12/12/2005 10:50:29 PM
I had an ex that would fondle really roughly and say"Hey, lets go play around!" Um, NO! It hurt and it was really annoying......... I thought that was defined as mauling. No good! Soft, light & feathery touches are the best ;)

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

wanted: relationship advice for a unique situation Posted: 12/12/2005 10:27:01 PM
May as well start distancing yourself emotionally. She is busy cutting the ties in preparation of her new life, and you aren't a part of it.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

what song do you sing to your son or daughter Posted: 12/11/2005 11:30:02 PM
Cute thread. My older boy was so miserable and unhappy all he did was cry for about two years unless he was carried or sung to. In order to cope, I made up or transposed current music to be either booger-butt and/or grouch verses. The official booger-butt song always kind of seemed to stick with everybody that ever heard it.. Ohhhhhhhh, I am a booger butt yes-sir-ree A booger butt, a booger butt, yep thats me! We hates our diaper changed, we hates our milk, I just want to be a great big pill! Caaaaauuuuusssse I am a booger butt yes-sir-ree A booger butt, a booger butt, yep thats me! We hates our bath, it makes us mad, when I get in the water I'm a real crab! and on and on it would go. Guess it looses something without hearing it for the cadence. But to this day I just make up all kinds of wild good night songs, teeth brushing songs, etc. Just makes life a little lighter ;)

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

What do you get from these forums? Posted: 12/6/2005 11:27:13 PM
I get tired of thumbing through profile pictures, so I come to the forums and gawk at the pictures here. Addtionally I get the benefit of some comic relief while I'm at it. Jerry Springer? Naw, too much sophistication here, wouldn't cut it. Hmmm, I had a headless knight deleted, still haven't figured out what celebrity he was...

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

What have I done Posted: 12/6/2005 11:16:08 PM
You should go to the profile review forums and see about improving it. Remove all references to the age bracket. Put less about what you WANT and more about your likes and dislikes. Too many "what I want" in there. saphirered has a nicely written profile, perhaps location is your biggest obsticle there?

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Seperated Claiming to be Single or Divorced Posted: 12/6/2005 10:55:23 PM
Seperated for 4 years? Man....how long is it going tot ake to get the divorced finalized? You would be amazed. 5 months between court dates. Delays due to paper/money screwups. Judges that can't make a decision (or more than one or two at a setting) and need "consultants" to tell him what to decide. 2-3 years for simple contested cases easy.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

sex and drinking do they mix Posted: 12/5/2005 11:18:30 PM
LOL, see there is a reason we are trying to give you all those drinks and using the designated driver excuse. Get you less inhibited while not inhibiting our performance. Gawd, the young days when just a fleeting thought would get you as hard as a rock!

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Sense of Humour - why don't women have one Posted: 12/2/2005 11:38:13 PM
Never been told off. Been read/dele...

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

tall guys -- do u look down the womens' shirts? Posted: 12/2/2005 11:18:49 PM
Of course we do. Just have to be careful to turn the head before the drool drips down the cleavage.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Being a single father and having a serious relationship just don't work... Posted: 12/1/2005 10:14:58 PM
@mackieg123: hehe, with my schedule, a few dates IS two - three months!

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Should There Be A Single Parents Dating Service? Posted: 11/30/2005 11:25:25 PM
It would be helpful if they broadened out the category for kids to like "kids still at home", "sometimes at home", etc. In a lot of cases, people that have kids not living at home still select they have children cause they do.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Being a single father and having a serious relationship just don't work... Posted: 11/29/2005 11:32:00 PM
I don't believe in giving things a "few months" before finding something to do involving the kids. I think knowing how people interact with their kids is very important. Kind of a barometer to their real personality. Dating without the kids would be kind of a fantasy relationship without the stressors that kids put on a relationship. I think after a few dates and if things seem to be going well so far you may as well do a park thing or something and see more quickly what happens with the extra interaction.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Should There Be A Single Parents Dating Service? Posted: 11/29/2005 11:24:40 PM
Google a search for single parents, there's a couple out there.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

my hands r tied Posted: 11/29/2005 11:23:26 PM
At 12 she has hormones starting to go, peer/school pressures, and now something is actually changing in the home, and young teen girls seems to REALLY hate that. Hang in there and be patient ;)

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Christmass Present Ideas, and experiences too Posted: 11/28/2005 11:27:34 PM
You can always do like the cookie thing which is a great group activity to give to other people. Now sure how far reaching you were trying to be. Since my two boys are special needs, gifts are a really super tough thing to try and come up with something useful, usable and of interest.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

The 'Other' Woman Posted: 11/28/2005 10:34:56 PM
LOL @shoes. One woman is plenty enough for me!

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Should I wait? Posted: 11/28/2005 10:22:05 PM
He (was?) really into you and you into him, and he doesn't offer to fund you to go see him? He actually was content to wait for you to fund your own trip out to see him? Well... he ain't that interested. Next! Way too many expectations of that one going anywhere.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Being a step-parent sucks Posted: 11/28/2005 12:21:22 AM
Kids (most times) maintain a loyalty to their natural parents that can't be overridden no matter what. They have shown children as young as babies crying when transitioning to the other parent for visitation and suddenly stopping once the parent was safely out of sight, to protect the feelings of the parent they are leaving. You're significant other should support you, go anyways and let their mom know where you can be found if she wishes. Or... since mom's there, great! She can babysit while you go. As they near adulthood (or after adulthood), they will understand better how important to their lives you were and you'll hear about it. It has its sucky moments though where I'm sure you feel underappreciated, but they will learn and be able to show it.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

How to be a good mom?..Written by a Great Dad.. Posted: 11/28/2005 12:12:43 AM
Sounds like you are doing OK to me. Give extra hugs, try and remember to say at least two positive things for every negative ;)

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Dilemma, Please help!!! Posted: 11/27/2005 11:58:40 PM
Tell your nephew she isn't welcome and why. He may piss and moan a bit, but you don't have to allow people that are ruining your family in. They'll have to find another hangout. After she dumps his butt he'll better understand where you were coming from. He'll have more respect for you later if you refuse to allow a pompous teeny-bopper stirring up things info YOUR home. I would try and be clear with the cops as to what is going on as you don't want to risk them spending all their time questioning and threatening you. Don't for get to shower your daughter with compliments and reinforcing how helpful she is.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

When you Ex slams you to your kids.... Posted: 11/27/2005 11:52:39 PM
I'll have to find something besides warmcuddly to call you, it just ain't gonna sound right coming from me! LOL You're doing the right thing though, kids will see through things and you'll be the better person in their eyes, as you are seeing already.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Older Guys With Kids... Posted: 11/27/2005 11:08:39 PM
I'd be leary (well, more so at my age I suppose) of somebody that had not had kids, cause no matter how prepared you think you might be for being with kids full time, you're wrong! LOL, if you are the motherly type and really really really like children though and understand what you're roll in the relationship might be, it could work.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

The Psychic Vampyre Posted: 11/27/2005 10:50:26 PM
Sure is enough of them around. Life is always cruel to them, they don't do anything to better themselves, always wanting emotional (and sometimes financial) props. Waiting for everybody else to make thier life better for them.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

Does anyone else find this extreme? Posted: 11/25/2005 12:01:22 AM
While I don't agree with the father (and in fact, seems like a pretty idiotic power struggle), abuse? At the level of CPS intervention??? You've got to be kidding me. A kid could call CPS anytime they were forced to eat something they didn't like and that would get intervention? I just can't agree with that and see a lot of potential for abuse.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

would you date someone who is handicaped? Posted: 11/24/2005 11:47:55 PM
I don't have a problem with a handicap per say. But already caring for two children with disabilities would make me leary of anybody that required a lot of personal care or medical issues, I have enough to contend with already.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

sending mail to people with interesting profiles Posted: 11/24/2005 11:41:00 PM
I have no qualms about sending a complimentary email (barring restrictions). I mean if you feel genuine that something is worth complimenting, why not. Even if you don't get a response, doesn't mean that you didn't feel like making the compliment to begin with, so go for it.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

sexually aggresive women.... like them or not ? Posted: 11/24/2005 11:35:39 PM
It can be refreshing to know where there mind is at in the scheme of things, a good indicator of how much you like them. After you've told them you like them, a little aggression now and then is always good for some spice. Not sure I'd want to be continually dominated though.

am70sguy

Joined: 6/11/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Have weird guys made it difficult for normal men to meet woman Posted: 11/24/2005 11:13:44 PM
I'm sure between the weirdos and the sharks it definately dilutes the pool for decent guys trying to get a response. And I'm trying to do better, really! But in spite of that, I'm sure that the views get a bit jaded after dealing with mail that is probably 80% crap and I'm sure with the toll it takes that it makes it harder for decent guys to get a fairer shot.

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