Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry? chat & forums.

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Thread: Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry? Posted: 10/23/2009 12:22:52 PM
No, she is not into you. If she were, you would have gotten a kiss on the first date. If you like her AND you think she is not into you, your best bet is to ignore her and let her call you. In the meantime, move on.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

People With No Conversation Skills Posted: 10/23/2009 10:20:50 AM
Ok, I've been using online dating for about a couple of month and seriously is the education system in the U.S. this bad. Yes. it is. Can't you tell from reading the forums? I find that people from foreign countries for whom English is a second (or third or...) language are better able to spell and compose a sentence. Write a profile that weeds out the idiots.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

33 and divorced. Missed the entire dating scene. Any tips?? Help! Posted: 10/22/2009 8:37:37 PM
Dating is MUCH easier when you are older.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Interested? Rubbing of the hair? Posted: 10/22/2009 8:34:59 PM
Try kissing her. If she kisses you back, she likes you.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Why does he have to text/call all the girls from his past? Posted: 10/22/2009 8:29:59 PM
You should tell him to either drop them like a bad habit permanently or get lost.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Whats better Online or real dating Posted: 10/22/2009 12:00:49 PM
For me, online dating hands down. Although I'm here for the forums now, my profile is a great filter for things like intelligence and personality.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Do you say it on your profile, before meeting, in person, when? SEX? Posted: 10/22/2009 9:52:30 AM
I prefer to wait and see what their secondary reaction is and give things a bit of time to see what their follow through is like before I start getting all physical with someone. Well, we would not be compatible. Not all people are. I prefer decisive, independent women who know what they want, have good intuition and go after it when they see it. I would not be compatible with someone whom I see as overly cautious and who doesn't know if she likes me when we first meet.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Do you say it on your profile, before meeting, in person, when? SEX? Posted: 10/22/2009 9:37:48 AM
If you didn't kiss me like you meant it on the first date, there would be no second date. Period. You're almost 40 years old. The girls I dated 30 years ago in high school kissed on the first date. Grow up. I've dropped $100+ on some of those first meetings. I call it a date. why I should make him my big exeption to that rule. Because I don't want to date someone who doesn't treat me as exceptional. Guys, what is the best way that a woman can TRULY convince you that she is 100% serious. By sleeping with me while not sleeping with just anyone. Nothing against you, but she wants to get to know you a little better before just jumping into something physical? When and how to say it? Actions are the best indicator. I would NEVER discuss whether or not and when you were going to want to get physical. If it didn't happen when I thought it should (which is within a couple of dates), I just wouldn't call back.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Are you truly free Posted: 10/22/2009 9:30:02 AM
Free? I'm not even cheap. I 'm high maintenance.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Discussions about past relationships Posted: 10/22/2009 9:07:14 AM
Oddly enough, I've been asked about previous relationships but rarely asked about why the relationship ended.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Still devasted over being seriously misled by my 1st GF in almost 3.5 years.... Posted: 10/22/2009 9:05:23 AM
The only reason you would want to date this woman is that your self-described low self-esteem is telling you that you can't do any better and that you don't want to be alone. You have thousands of women on pof from which to choose. Find one who will treat you better than your present (ex?) girlfriend.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

im in love with a guy should i tell him Posted: 10/22/2009 7:42:46 AM
If I were him, I'd pretend I didn't even hear you say it.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

They're not here looking for sex... booohooo Posted: 10/22/2009 7:41:14 AM
Does this strike anyone as inconsistent and hypocritical? No, it strikes me that read too much into meaningless mail settings. My favorites list is full of women who contacted me although their mail settings prevented me from contacting them. Many of the women I've gone out with contacted me, but I could not have contacted them. You're being anal retentive. You're also excluding a lot of people based on dubious logic.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

trying to role-play safe sex in advance Posted: 10/21/2009 9:54:42 AM
Uh, you can say NO.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

My girl friend and I have been seeing eachother for 3 months now Posted: 10/21/2009 9:35:40 AM
Start dating. The one way you are sure to lose her is to have no options.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

Do women get pleasure out of teasing guys? Posted: 10/21/2009 9:16:27 AM
They can't tease you if you don't take the bait.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Oldschool or outdated? Posted: 10/21/2009 9:11:47 AM
Could you repeat that in something that resembles English?

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Ex girlfriend Posted: 10/21/2009 9:08:14 AM
You just take a chance.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

How long to wait for an answer (for an introductory message)? Posted: 10/21/2009 8:35:12 AM
(1a) You don't ``wait'' for a reply. You continue to look through profiles, send out messages and arrange meetings IF you receive replies. If she snoozes, she loses. (b) You would be surprised. (c) 1 out of 5 or 6 is a good response rate. On the other hand, once you do get a response, you ought to be able to exchange enough messages to determine if you want to meet. (d) The best strategy for a good first message is (1) Read her profile; (2) Find something you can use for a witty message (unless you aren't really good at that sort of thing); (3) NEVER say anything about sex unless you can do it in such a way as to be so vague that she has to want to make the inferences; (4) Don't come across as desperate. You really don't need to ``share'' a lot of information unless you actually go on a date. Get a prepaid dating phone and activate it without supplying personal information. Don't give out your last name, your real phone number, your place of business, or address until you've met in person.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Intuition vs Paranoia? Posted: 10/21/2009 7:40:37 AM
You are makimg mountains out of molehills. Why is it such a big deal to find out someone is not the person you were wanting? You can't go through life without a few scrapes.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Having 2 cellphones Posted: 10/21/2009 6:53:36 AM
Look up ``hobby phone'' on google. Guys use hobby phones (often pre-paid) to ``hobby'' (visit prostitutes).

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 132 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/21/2009 2:41:57 AM
And how are women supposed to know if the guy is going to run after getting laid? The answer to this is way to long and digresses too far from the topic to post here. Not sure what you meant in that statement. What are they supposed to know better about? Having sex too soon or picking the men who run off after sex? I'm sure they don't pick these asses on purpose. I'm sure that most do, since most seem to pick asses repeatedly. One reason that I've never managed to be a ``player,'' is that I can't really believe women fall for the bullshit. It makes me cringe to think I cou;ld get away with saying the kind of shit I've seen succeeed with women. . Sounds like you are blaming the women for the mens bad behaviour. Unfortunately the guys who just want to get their d1ck wet with as many women as possible look and sound just like the ones who are more sincere No. Many women just have broken pickers and consistently pick poorly while expecting to get a relationship from sex. The solution is very simple. Have sex if you want to have sex. Don't hsve sex if you don't want to have sex. Don't use sex to get something other than sex. But isn't that a form of what you are doing but in reverse? Insisting on instant sex or NO relationship. No. You can have sex without a relationship but you can't have a relationship without sex. I don't want a relationship with a woman who doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 130 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/21/2009 1:06:42 AM
But haven't you ever wondered if you've missed out on a great woman who was very interested in having a relationship with you but she took a little longer than you to want to get naked? No. By definition, a great woman for me is one who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to take a risk. I like decisive women. I don't want to paint all men with the same brush, especially as i haven't met many of the ass h*les, but there are enough threads out there on the subject of men hitting and running, so you must be aware of all the men out there who pretend to be interested and dump as soon as they get sex! (1) If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. (2) If you attempt to trade sex for a relationship, you are going to lose. If we had sex with every man who took us on a third date with the expectation of getting laid and then running we'd go through an awful lot of men... Only if you have a tendency to pick men who go running off after getting laid. If these forums are any indication, women do that a lot even though they knew better.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

How hard is it for men to not cheat? Posted: 10/21/2009 12:49:42 AM
I've never felt the "urge" to cheat, anymore than I've felt the urge to hunt and trap my own "food", or drag a woman off into a cave.... Although I have never felt the urge to hunt and trap my own food I must admit to having had the urge to drag a woman or two into a cave.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 356 (view)

Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship? Posted: 10/21/2009 12:36:41 AM
There are three things that lead to a possible start of a relationship. Sex is not one of them. Wanna bet?

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

when are standards too high? Posted: 10/21/2009 12:00:30 AM
Standards are never ``too high,'' per se. However, what many people consider to be high standards are simply misguided ideas about what that means, so when they get what they held out for, it isn't what they wanted.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

I need your advice (asking her out) Posted: 10/20/2009 11:51:25 PM
Just ask her. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no. Trust me - the ``right time'' will never happen if you wait for it.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

How hard is it for men to not cheat? Posted: 10/20/2009 11:47:53 PM
It's not very difficult to not cheat. It's a choice.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 127 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/20/2009 11:45:57 PM
The ultimatum that she has sex with him by the 3rd date or the man is gone is what puts many women off. But I never said anything about an ultimatum. I simply have an expectation of what will happen which is either met or not. If it is not met, I don't call. Same as everything else.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/20/2009 10:29:57 PM
one would hope that humans at least were able to ascribe a little more to it.... Uh, humans do ascribe more attention to it. Ever seen a porno produced by or sold to a species other than homo sapiens? You are basing that on what study? How about, the billions of dollars spent each year on (1) birth control; (2) condoms for the prevention of std's? (3) How about the fact that no one I've ever met stopped having sex once the last kid was in the oven? In fact, humans do have sex for other reasons besides recreation and besides procreation... pair bonding, intimacy, and comfort... to name a few... In other words, for the pleasure they derive from it.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Location, location Posted: 10/20/2009 9:51:10 PM
Yesterday someone told me that my province (Nova Scotia) is one where most couples remain married and if anyone is single, there is a very good reason that they aren't married. I live in Nova Scotia and I'm inclined to believe this claim. I guess that's because it's so cold there no one can imagine giving up a warm body or a person who no one wants as a radiator. But, to answer your question, I suppose the choice depends on what you are giving up by moving versus what you have to gain. If you can change jobs without taking a big hit, then why not move? If not, you may have to risk dating the undatable and wearing down filled panties to keep you warm.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

girls like to have fun right Posted: 10/20/2009 9:36:34 PM
Write her off. If she's interested, she'll call you up and tell you god gave her a free pass.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Brown eyed Men? Posted: 10/20/2009 9:34:32 PM
A girlfriend of mine who has been on several dating sites over the years simply refuses to even communicate with a brown eyed man. She said in her experiences that they are just hard to deal with. Since brown is the most common eye color (at least here in the U.S.) that means your friend finds most men hard to deal with.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

STD's Posted: 10/20/2009 9:30:40 PM
I've never been asked. To the best I can tell, few people ask for that sort of proof (except in their posting fantasy life).

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Asking someone out Posted: 10/20/2009 9:19:51 PM
Walk up to her so you can say, ``If you'll tell me your name, I'll take you to dinner.''

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Playing games? Posted: 10/20/2009 9:15:38 PM
Write her off. You should have done that after she cancelled the first time. There is this thing that is called ... ASK HER There is no reason to ask her. If she is interested, she can call him. She's already cancelled twice, so if that doesn't make her anxious enough to take some initiative, she is not interested enough to be worth pursuing.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Question about maintaining a woman's interest in you Posted: 10/20/2009 9:08:27 PM
What would you advise me to do? I'd advise you to look elsewhere. If she was interested in you, she would find time to go out with you and if she isn't, she might become interested if you're going out on dates with others. Either way, by looking elsewhere, you win.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

what to do when she needs time to think? Posted: 10/20/2009 9:05:32 PM
Blow her off. She's yanking your chain.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 97 (view)

When do guys grow up Posted: 10/20/2009 8:58:51 PM
So again I ask... what age do most guys grow out of their play stage - and realize its time to have something a bit more real in life? When a woman comes along who ispires us to do so,

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

sex and the single mother Posted: 10/20/2009 8:13:47 PM
(1) No (2) No (3) No

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

How do you tell her Posted: 10/20/2009 8:12:22 PM
You NEVER ask. It either happens or it doesn't.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Would you want to know? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:56:43 PM
She had better damn well tell me.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

To call or not to call? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:54:58 PM
If you want to go out with him, call him. If not, move on. Life is too short to waste playing games.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 118 (view)

A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:45:07 PM
But that statement is a huge sexual turn off. I am not a trained seal. And sexual intimacy on demand/expectation is a repulsive concept to me. Well, let's see... A woman who isn't interested enough in me to have sex with me, isn't interested in me enough to be in a relationship with me. Mind you the statement about not taking "applications for dates" in your profile is a very powerful one and not in any positive way. Duh... It's supposed to be. Your entire rant is really quite funny. Rather than discuss it here, you can email me.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

diffrent way's to get him in the mood Posted: 10/20/2009 3:03:20 PM
How about unbuttoning his pants, getting on your knees and starting a blowjob? It works on me,

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

2 weeks into a great new relationship and you win the lottery, now what? Posted: 10/20/2009 3:01:26 PM
I'd use my new found resources to do more things in my new relationship.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

How Can I Tell if it's a Line? Posted: 10/20/2009 2:54:04 PM
You can't tell for certain if it's a line. Life has risks. Take a few and enjoy them. No risk = no reward. I feel that since the site can block people who are looking for the Intimate Encounter, more and more people are changing their "titles" to dating.. So, for those of us who are more serious about really dating.. Any suggestions? Congratulations. You've realized that the blocking messages (mis)feature is essentially worthless as anything but a marketing gimmick. If anything, it makes matters worse by giving you a false notion of what it does and leaves you with the impression you've weeded out the players.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Internet vs. real life Posted: 10/20/2009 2:48:14 PM
Seems like it should be just the opposite. For me it HAS been just the opposite.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 256 (view)

The Game and its effectiveness Posted: 10/20/2009 2:44:14 PM
What about guys coming over then not trying to have sex with you...ah gad..what demented game might THAT be. The fastest way to get a woman to sleep with you is to get a makeout session started and then come up with a reason to go home, such as you don't want to end up going any further than you've already gone, so soon. Sex on the next date with her leading the way is a shoe-in.

abelian

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/20/2009 2:39:19 PM
I would say that a number of men cheat because the sex is bad/nonexistent and a number of men cheat because they just want to keep chasing pvssy, no matter how good the sex is at home. Interestingly enough, once addressing the issues, the sex somehow got better. I've never had any success by ``addressing the issue.'' If the sex was bad, it was invariably because a woman was just too passive/unimaginative/inhibited.

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