So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? chat & forums.

online dating service

REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

Posted In Forum:

Home

login

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

So he/she USED to be Gay/Lesbian! Would you still date them? Posted: 11/14/2009 5:31:06 PM
The “Born Gay” urban legend is actually being exposed as false by homosexual researchers themselves. Homosexual researcher Dean Hamer, for example, notes that homosexuality is not “purely genetic…environmental factors play a role. There is not a single master gene that makes people gay.” Homosexual researcher Simon LeVay, who attempted to find a genetic basis for homosexuality by examining the differences in the hypothalamus between “homosexual” and “heterosexual” males, has written: “I didn’t show that gay men are born that way, the most common mistake people make in interpreting my work. Nor did I locate a gay center in the brain.” Therapists who treat men and women struggling with same-sex attractions say that there are several consistent factors that contribute to the emergence of homosexuality: gender confusion in childhood, a failure to internalize maleness, and sexual abuse by a same-sex predator. Dr. Gregory****on, whose doctoral thesis is on the relationship between a mother and son in the development of homosexuality, found that 49% of the homosexuals he surveyed said they had been molested, compared to less than 2% of heterosexuals. Since funding is scarce for both biological and psychological research we will probably never know the true answer.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Having multiple partners just because one is bisexual... Kind of weird but.. Posted: 11/13/2009 11:46:58 PM
I have had a number of friends both male and female over the years who identified themselves as bisexual and not one of them was monogamous.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 113 (view)

A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this. Posted: 11/5/2009 10:17:09 PM
Are both men and women allowed to have preferences? Are men labeled as superficial, immature pigs when they have a preference?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 110 (view)

A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this. Posted: 11/4/2009 9:13:24 PM
But guys are such visual creatures so either they're physically attracted or they're not. Women are just as visual as men it's just that we have a double standard in our society. When a woman says that she wants a man who is tall, dark and handsome it's called physical attraction or preference. When a man says that he wants a woman who is skinny, blond and large breasted he is called a superficial, immature pig. Does this double standard exist? I think the tables have actually turned. Men have been the more visual part of the species from the beginning of time, but women have caught up. In my opinion women have actually passed men up as the more visual gender. Looking around at the profiles of women on here and it is quickly evident. This is an interesting article about male height by dating expert Steve Penner. This article talks about the double standard and talks a little about the weight issue. By Steve Penner August 15, 2008 2:00 AM The first column I wrote three years ago dealt with the single issue that bugged me the most during the 23 years I ran the dating service LunchDates. Frankly, it was the aggravation caused by this issue that partially motivated me to start writing these columns. I am referring to single women's prejudice against meeting short men. Since I doubt that too many current readers actually saw that column, I decided to revisit the topic. After all, this is one area in which many women display all the shallowness and superficiality that they love to accuse men of possessing. The same woman who is 10-20 pounds overweight, and who cannot understand why a man might not want to date her because of those few extra pounds ...; that same woman often will refuse to meet a man who is 2 inches shorter than her "ideal." During my years at LunchDates I interviewed women who were very flexible about a man's religion, his hobbies, and even whether he was divorced. But the one criterion they would not budge on was his height! I am not just talking about tall women. It is certainly understandable that a woman who is 5 feet 10 inches might want to meet a man over 6 feet tall. (In fact, though, the few women who stated that they were open to meeting men shorter than themselves tended to be taller women.) What really perplexed me was the number of short women who insisted that they only would date men considerably taller than themselves. It was very common for women 5 feet 4 inches or under to state that they "absolutely" only wanted to meet a man at least 5 feet 10 inches, and they really preferred 6 feet. I find it amazing how many women have attached an almost magical meaning to the height of 6-feet tall. If society tended to describe people in terms of inches rather than feet, I wonder how attractive it would sound to hear a man described as "72 inches tall," rather than "70 inches." If you are skeptical, have a single man you know place an ad on an Internet dating site saying that he is 6 feet. Than have another man place an identical ad except for stating that he is only 5 feet 10 inches. I guarantee that the first ad will attract nearly twice as many responses from women! Now many of the women I interviewed at LunchDates were "modern" women who insisted on equality in every way ...; except height. That is, they were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. They only wanted to meet men who also were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. But those men also had to be tall! When pushed to the wall and asked their reasons, they replied with some of the following excuses: "I usually wear shoes with at least three to four-inch heels," some women responded very naturally. They also frequently pointed out that many boots have even higher heels. So these women would add at least three to four inches to their own height just to pull even, then another few inches to make sure that the man on their arm was still taller. "My father, my brother, and all the men in my family are over 6 feet, so that is what I am used to," one women stated, insisting that she KNEW that the average height of men was around 6 feet. When I tried to tell her that the median height of men was between 5 feet 8 inches and 5 feet 9 inches, she got up and angrily marched out of the interview room! "I am short, and I am looking for a man to father my children, and I don't want to have short children," a number of women told me, with a straight face, I might add. "I just feel safer when I walk down the street with a man who is much taller than me," was also a common response. "I am only attracted to tall men, I just can't help it!" So where does this height bias leave short men? Behind the proverbial eight-ball, I am sad to say. After all, take a woman who is only 5 feet 2 inches, add three to four inches for her "heels," another two to three inches so she can feel safe, and lo and behold, it is not unusual for such a women to refuse to meet any man under 5 feet 9 inches. That means she is eliminating about one-half of the male population. I was especially disheartened when interviewing a man under 5 feet 6 inches. After all, it is easy to tell a single man or woman who smokes a pack a day that he or she would have a much higher Dating Quotient (that is be easier to match) if he or she quit smoking. It is a little more awkward to tell a woman who is very overweight that she will be difficult to match unless she drops a few pounds. But a smoker can quit, and an overweight woman can lose weight. But there is not much a short man can do. Fortunately I am not referring to all women. There are (and were) exceptions. For research purposes, I occasionally would glance through my dating service's "married file," (a file that obviously contained the profiles of couples who met and married through LunchDates). I noted that many of the women in that file had stated in their interview that they really cared very little how tall their matches were, and that flexibility had translated into a very successful membership. Then I looked through the file of people who had completed their membership at LunchDates without meeting anyone. Sure enough, it was full of those women who had insisted they would only meet men much taller than themselves. Over the years I became increasingly frustrated by many women's lack of flexibility in this area. Once I decided I was really going to "negotiate" with a short woman who was insisting that she only wanted to meet men over 6 feet. The woman had just stated that she was looking to get married and have children. "You realize that if you are talking about growing old with a man, most people shrink a couple of inches as they hit old age," I said. The woman paused, thought about what I said, then responded "Well, if he's going to shrink, all the more reason to only meet someone very tall!" Steve Penner was the owner of the Boston-based dating service LunchDates for nearly 23 years.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this. Posted: 10/31/2009 9:16:36 PM
If I had a daughter, I would not encourage her to date someone who could say such a thing to her. Would you? So if you had a daughter and she told a guy who didn’t meet her height requirement, “You’re a great guy, but you need to be taller. I’d date you if you were taller. I can’t date you because I would feel like I was dating my little brother. I wouldn’t feel feminine if I dated you. I wouldn’t be able to wear heals. Oh, I only date real men who are taller.” What if you had a daughter and she said any one of these statements to a guy? What would you say to her? Just as the OP was told that her weight is an issue, I have been told every one of these hurtful statements and most women don’t care. I have also seen many women on here support this behavior. This is why I say that we have a double standard here. Women are quick to attack this guy for voicing his opinion, but I don’t see women speaking out against another woman who does the same thing. Maybe men just need to stand up for themselves more. Dave and Chucky, while I agree with you wholeheartedly that people are entitled to their preferences, this doesn't really seem to fit that criteria in this case. Why would a man get involved with a BBW and say he would marry her if she'd only lose weight? If his issue was preference, why get involved in the first place? Seems to me there is more to the stor y than just a man's preference for a thinner woman. The only thing that I can think of is that he might have thought that it was something he could look past over time. I had an opposite, but similar situation happen a few years ago. I ended up dating someone that I didn’t find physically attractive at first. But, I loved this girls personality, I loved spending time with her, I loved everything about her and over time I ended up finding her physically attractive too. I dated this person because of what was on the inside. It appears that this guy also fell in love for who the OP is on the inside and her personality, but could not fall in love with the outside too. It sucks…We should be able to get beyond our physical preferences, but in many cases physical preference is more important than getting to know someone and loving someone unconditionally. All of us would probably find a near-perfect, unconditional love if we would open our hearts and minds up more.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 111 (view)

How to build chemistry with the nice guy after always going for the bad boy? Posted: 10/31/2009 1:48:51 PM
I am just going to put this one out there as I see it...She is a superficial idiot that deserves everything that a bad boy brings here way. When she's ready to settle with a nice guy that will truly love her she will have more baggage than the Titanic.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

A little overweight, very curvey, ....and I hear this. Posted: 10/31/2009 1:34:43 PM
This is an interesting post because it shows a number of different issues here. First is this guy allowed to have a preference and voice it? Are there any double standards here? We are all allowed to have preferences when dating. Many of these preferences have to do with outward appearance. Now I am not here to defend this guy, but he has every right to have a preference. This has nothing to do with maturity as one person stated, but is just a preference. Not sure where preferences and attraction come from. Most of it is learned and from the media. A small portion of preference may also be based on science and survival of the fittest. The point here is that he has every right to have a preference. Is there a double standard? I see on here and other dating sites all the time that women prefer dating taller men as a preference and women see no problem with this. But as soon as a man mentions his preference in regards to weight the fangs come out and women attack him. Why the double standard? Why can a woman have a preference and voice it, but a guy can’t? Another thing that I see a lot on these forums are women saying, “Why do guys have such an issue with weight? Why won’t he look past the weight? Why won’t he judge me by who I am on the inside?” Women are quick to support another woman in this position and immediately attack the guy. But if a shorter than average male asks the same questions, “Why do women have such an issue with height? Why won’t she look past my height? Why wont she judge me by who I am on the inside?” he is attacked. Women quickly call him a whiner and tell him to get over it. Why is a man a whiner, but a woman who complains about men and weight isn’t? Why aren’t women told to get over it and just lose some weight? Why the difference in reactions? I have had many similar situations as this women. This man has basically said, “You are perfect and what I am looking for in every way, but one.” As a shorter than average male I hear this all too often. Women will say to me, “You are exactly what I am looking for, but I want someone taller. You are a great guy, but I want someone at least 4 inches taller than me. Grow a few inches and I’ll date you. I love your personality and hanging out, but…” I have heard many statements like this and would probably be rich if I had a dollar for every time I heard it. I am sure one of the very same women who have been supportive if the original poster will call me a whiner for this or tell me to get over it. I don’t want this to be a post about weight or height. But, is their a double standard? Why can women have a preference and voice it, but men can’t? Why if a woman says that she wants a guy who is tall, dark and handsome it is called a preference or attraction , but if a guy says he wants a woman who is skinny, blond and large breasted he is called a superficial, immature pig?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Bi women or Straight women? Posted: 10/28/2009 10:52:46 PM
Forget both and just go for a lesbian.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Shorter man Taller woman Posted: 10/23/2009 9:49:43 PM
It takes a secure women of any height to date a man shorter or below average in height.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 374 (view)

How much money does a man need to make to keep you interested in him? Posted: 10/10/2009 7:02:20 PM
As a shorter than average male I have to have a tall wallet to stand on. I've had a unique perspective on how important money is.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

male hiding his virginity( women's opinions only) Posted: 9/19/2009 12:30:31 PM
Why should a man or a woman have to tell their partner that they are a virgin before having sex anyways? There was one woman on here who was mad and kicked the guy to the curb for finding out later, after sex, that he was a virgin. Why is this such a big deal? I thought show and tell was just for kindergarten.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 397 (view)

Dating is all about income Posted: 9/19/2009 12:24:02 PM
As a shorter than average male I have found that dating is all about income and status...Especially being in the Los Angeles/Hollywood area. I once heard a dating expert say, "A short man is as tall as the wallet he stands on. The bigger the wallet the taller he is." This is why many men in Hollywood get women who are taller. It's all about money.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Do women want a guy who is small in stature or big and tall? Posted: 9/12/2009 2:49:59 PM
Here's a great article on this topic from dating expert Steve Penner, founder of LunchDates Boston. By Steve Penner August 15, 2008 2:00 AM The first column I wrote three years ago dealt with the single issue that bugged me the most during the 23 years I ran the dating service LunchDates. Frankly, it was the aggravation caused by this issue that partially motivated me to start writing these columns. I am referring to single women's prejudice against meeting short men. Since I doubt that too many current readers actually saw that column, I decided to revisit the topic. After all, this is one area in which many women display all the shallowness and superficiality that they love to accuse men of possessing. The same woman who is 10-20 pounds overweight, and who cannot understand why a man might not want to date her because of those few extra pounds ...; that same woman often will refuse to meet a man who is 2 inches shorter than her "ideal." During my years at LunchDates I interviewed women who were very flexible about a man's religion, his hobbies, and even whether he was divorced. But the one criterion they would not budge on was his height! I am not just talking about tall women. It is certainly understandable that a woman who is 5 feet 10 inches might want to meet a man over 6 feet tall. (In fact, though, the few women who stated that they were open to meeting men shorter than themselves tended to be taller women.) What really perplexed me was the number of short women who insisted that they only would date men considerably taller than themselves. It was very common for women 5 feet 4 inches or under to state that they "absolutely" only wanted to meet a man at least 5 feet 10 inches, and they really preferred 6 feet. I find it amazing how many women have attached an almost magical meaning to the height of 6-feet tall. If society tended to describe people in terms of inches rather than feet, I wonder how attractive it would sound to hear a man described as "72 inches tall," rather than "70 inches." If you are skeptical, have a single man you know place an ad on an Internet dating site saying that he is 6 feet. Than have another man place an identical ad except for stating that he is only 5 feet 10 inches. I guarantee that the first ad will attract nearly twice as many responses from women! Now many of the women I interviewed at LunchDates were "modern" women who insisted on equality in every way ...; except height. That is, they were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. They only wanted to meet men who also were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. But those men also had to be tall! When pushed to the wall and asked their reasons, they replied with some of the following excuses: "I usually wear shoes with at least three to four-inch heels," some women responded very naturally. They also frequently pointed out that many boots have even higher heels. So these women would add at least three to four inches to their own height just to pull even, then another few inches to make sure that the man on their arm was still taller. "My father, my brother, and all the men in my family are over 6 feet, so that is what I am used to," one women stated, insisting that she KNEW that the average height of men was around 6 feet. When I tried to tell her that the median height of men was between 5 feet 8 inches and 5 feet 9 inches, she got up and angrily marched out of the interview room! "I am short, and I am looking for a man to father my children, and I don't want to have short children," a number of women told me, with a straight face, I might add. "I just feel safer when I walk down the street with a man who is much taller than me," was also a common response. "I am only attracted to tall men, I just can't help it!" So where does this height bias leave short men? Behind the proverbial eight-ball, I am sad to say. After all, take a woman who is only 5 feet 2 inches, add three to four inches for her "heels," another two to three inches so she can feel safe, and lo and behold, it is not unusual for such a women to refuse to meet any man under 5 feet 9 inches. That means she is eliminating about one-half of the male population. I was especially disheartened when interviewing a man under 5 feet 6 inches. After all, it is easy to tell a single man or woman who smokes a pack a day that he or she would have a much higher Dating Quotient (that is be easier to match) if he or she quit smoking. It is a little more awkward to tell a woman who is very overweight that she will be difficult to match unless she drops a few pounds. But a smoker can quit, and an overweight woman can lose weight. But there is not much a short man can do. Fortunately I am not referring to all women. There are (and were) exceptions. For research purposes, I occasionally would glance through my dating service's "married file," (a file that obviously contained the profiles of couples who met and married through LunchDates). I noted that many of the women in that file had stated in their interview that they really cared very little how tall their matches were, and that flexibility had translated into a very successful membership. Then I looked through the file of people who had completed their membership at LunchDates without meeting anyone. Sure enough, it was full of those women who had insisted they would only meet men much taller than themselves. Over the years I became increasingly frustrated by many women's lack of flexibility in this area. Once I decided I was really going to "negotiate" with a short woman who was insisting that she only wanted to meet men over 6 feet. The woman had just stated that she was looking to get married and have children. "You realize that if you are talking about growing old with a man, most people shrink a couple of inches as they hit old age," I said. The woman paused, thought about what I said, then responded "Well, if he's going to shrink, all the more reason to only meet someone very tall!" Steve Penner was the owner of the Boston-based dating service LunchDates for nearly 23 years.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Do women want a guy who is small in stature or big and tall? Posted: 9/11/2009 10:16:37 PM
Here are my observation based on scientific research and these forums. 1. Most women’s femininity is not internal but external. Women receive their femininity from outward forces. This is why they have the need for a taller man. If she can’t wear heals she doesn’t feel feminine. If he doesn’t make her feel small and feminine she doesn’t feel feminine. It is sad to see that a woman needs to receive her femininity from outward forces and can’t feel like a woman and be proud of it just because she is. Much of a woman’s self worth and femininity is based on the man on her arm. We can see this in some of the previous posts. 2. Based on these forums it seems that most women have no mind of their own. They are lemmings. They want you to think that she has no power over what she is attracted to. It is as if there is this cosmic force that controls attraction. Attraction is created by the mind and you have full control over it. If you don’t, then maybe you are not using all of your brain. The mind is the most powerful thing in the world. It seems that most women do not have a mind of their own. 3. Most women have a daddy complex. This is why they need a taller man. They want the security and protection that comes from dad. This includes both physical and financial protection. Most women feel that they need a taller man for this. It is too bad that women can’t psychologically get past this. 4. Most women are concerned with what others think. She is afraid of what others might think or say about her if she is with a man her own height, or heaven forbid an inch or two shorter. 5. Most women do not know the difference between preference and requirement. Most women use the word preference when referring to a mans height because she is worried that she may come off as being shallow and superficial if she uses the word that she is thinking…Requirement. 6. It has been said on here that women feel that if they date someone their height or shorter it would be like dating and kissing a child or their little brother. So when you are dating a taller man does it feel like you are dating and kissing your father? 7. If a woman has just one bad experience dating a shorter than average man she clumps them all into one category of all being the same and bad. But if she has a bad experience with a taller than average man she doesn’t do this. Why the double standard? 8. Most women love to use the Napoleon Complex when it comes to shorter than average males. It is too bad that not one, not two, but three scientific research studies in both the United States and Europe have disproven the Napoleon Complex. The studies have actually shown that taller than average men are more likely to exhibit the characteristics of the Napoleon Complex. They have shown that taller than average men get angered quicker and have a need to prove their manliness. The problem issue is perception. If a taller man shows strength and leadership it is masculinity. But, if a shorter male exhibits strength and leadership he is making up for his short height. Why the double standard? 9. Most women like to use the comparison of height and weight in these discussions. Too bad that these two things are completely different. In most cases weight can be changed and is the product of poor lifestyle choices. And in many cases weight can be the product of larger psychological issues. But, height can not be changed and is not a measure of who someone is.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

What's the reward for Chivalry? Posted: 9/5/2009 8:32:02 PM
Chivalry is dead because women don't require it anymore. Women could start changing this tomorrow and require chivalry from men. If women would stop dating and opening their legs to men who don't show chivalry things would change. Men would start showing chivalry very quickly. Ladies...If you want chivalry then you need to change your actions. This is something that is on your hands ladies. Chivalry is only dead if women allow it to die.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 420 (view)

question about interracial dating ... Posted: 9/3/2009 9:53:24 PM
It amazes me the importance that some people put on skin color. It looks like we just have a bunch of mindless people who put way too much importance on physical attraction. It's just skin color people...Get over it! Stop judging people based on skin color. You would think that attraction is some cosmic force that no one has control over it.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

Is there anyone out there that would date shorter men Posted: 9/3/2009 9:35:22 PM
Since height is such a big issue with women I think that POF needs to make weight an actual number on here. Why is height a specific number and weight is an arbitrary category? Making weight a number on here will help to level the playing field.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 410 (view)

question about interracial dating ... Posted: 9/1/2009 8:44:56 PM
The very simple answer is that we live in a very superficial society. Too many judge based on outward appearance. Physical attraction can make for a great night of sex, but for love to build there needs to be more. I believe that someone who says that they will only date a certain ethnicity (whether there own or different) is racist.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

does size matter? my un-scientific observations Posted: 8/30/2009 9:47:23 PM
First, if she is a size queen she will always be looking for a larger one. Who would really want to be with someone like this, even if it’s just for sex? Second, who wants to have sex with a woman whose vagina feels like you are throwing a hotdog down a hallway? Third, just as women care about the size of a man’s penis so do men care about the size (tightness) of a woman’s vagina. Size (tightness) matters to men too. Not too tight and not too loose. Big surprise…Most men are average. That’s why it’s called an average.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Height of children from tall man and short girl Posted: 8/24/2009 8:17:14 PM
wow angry short man syndrome much??? Too bad numerous scientific research studies have shown that there is no such thing as a short man syndrome (Napoleon Complex). Research has actually shown that men over 6' tall are more likely to exhibit the characteristics of the short man syndrome. It is just that our society looks at tall men with these characteristics differently. But, back to the question…Are taller children more valuable than shorter ones?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Height of children from tall man and short girl Posted: 8/23/2009 9:39:01 PM
^^^ So you are saying that the kids would be less valuable if they weren't tall?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Want to hear both sides of this one.... Posted: 7/26/2009 3:06:37 PM
It's funny that the younger daughter is the smart one here and know what'g going on. The mother needs to be a better example to her daughter and kick the guy to the curb.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Short guy, taller women? Posted: 7/13/2009 7:21:08 PM
It is good to see a few non-superficial women on here. It is good to see a few women who don't judge a man based on something he has no control over. I don't like being short, but it does have its positives. A short guy normally doesn't have to worry about being with a superficial woman. He knows that a woman is going to be with him because she loves him (or he has a lot of money). I feel sorry for the taller men who wont know the truth about the woman they are with until he gets the divorce papers and she takes everything he has. Taller men should start asking their gilfriends if she would still be with him if he was [enter shorter than avg height]. At the end of the day the short guy will get the real woman.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

Blondes Brunettes or Red Heads? And why do we have preferences? Posted: 7/8/2009 11:18:00 PM
Redheads...Auburn and Strawberry Blonde too. You can see the redhead theme here. But, no bottle redheads. Keep it real.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Heels and shorter guys - advice please! Posted: 7/7/2009 8:41:02 PM
As a shorter male a could care less if she is taller than me. If you don't care then he probably wont care. I like women my height or taller who wear heels because it tells me that they are comfortable with themselves and don't care what others think...This is the type of women I want to be with.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

WOMEN: What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman? Posted: 6/30/2009 7:22:57 PM
Silentman...It is too bad that women don't think logically like you do. A women's thought process is based on emotions and not logic. If women used logic this wouldn't be an issue and we wouldn't be hearing these stupid reasons that a man has to be taller or has to reach a certain height. I am still waiting for weight to be an actual number on here to level the playing field.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 265 (view)

What is it with girls in their 20s Posted: 6/21/2009 2:51:59 PM
I have found through my 20's that the vast majority of 20 something women are superficial hypocrites that lack majority. I have found that the women who say that they aren't this way, are normally the worse. It is always nice to find one of the rare few that don't fit into this category.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 628 (view)

does anyone get as turned off with a smoker as i do? Posted: 6/20/2009 3:46:38 PM
I would never date a smoker since in my opinion smokers are weak minded. I want someone who can control themselves and value their health.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 225 (view)

Short Men Posted: 6/17/2009 7:17:39 PM
I have said for a long time that weight should have to be entered as a specific number on here or there should be 10 Ibs ranges to choose. There is a double standard her. My favorite term is "Small BBW".

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Dating exclusively outside your own race? Posted: 6/7/2009 6:26:47 PM
I think it is stupid to only date one ethnicity/race. Why would anyone put such boundaries on love and happiness? Boundaries like these may cause you to miss out on the love of your life.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 169 (view)

Would you live with someone you want to marry? Posted: 6/7/2009 5:07:59 PM
For those that are for living together before marriage I have one question... Why was the divorce rate much lower for our grandparents generation and beyond who did not typically live together much lower than todays divorce rate of 50% with living together being more common?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 330 (view)

Will a non smoker date a smoker ? Posted: 6/7/2009 4:56:07 PM
I would never date a smoker because I see them as being weak minded. Why would I date someone who does not have enough control over their own actions to stop doing something that is unhealthy and will probably kill them someday?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

are looks everything Posted: 6/7/2009 4:50:45 PM
Being a man of shorter than average height I get the unique opportunity to see women in a different light than most men. Are looks everything to women? 99% of the time...YES! Just to decades ago and beyond women looked for a man that would take care of her, love her and support a family. Because of socio-economic changes women can now support themselves and have more choices when looking for a man. Women today put more emphasis on the attactiveness/looks of the oposite sex than they did just 20 years ago. There has been a shift in what the sexes are looking for. Are looks everything to women...In most cases the answer is yes.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 164 (view)

Would you live with someone you want to marry? Posted: 6/7/2009 4:22:36 PM
Why is it that our grandparents generation didn't live together before getting married and most of their marriages have lasted until death do us part? This idea that living together before marriage creates stronger marriages is crazy. It is obvious that is doesn't work. It is so funny to hear people say, "We need to live together first to see if we should get married and see if it will work out." Today we have a 50% divorce rate...Obviously this idea of cohabitation before marriage isn't working. Maybe we need to look back in history and look at some of the reasons that older generations didn't have the divorce rates we do today.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 247 (view)

Cash For Sex Posted: 6/7/2009 3:44:40 PM
Men pay for sex all the time...It's called dating. Man pays for dinner. Man pays for movie (entertainment). If night ends in sex, then man paid for sex. Dating is typically the number one form of prostitution. Love and companionship are not cheap for men.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Is there anyone out there that would date shorter men Posted: 5/29/2009 6:40:38 PM
So Bob...If dating isn't a problem for you then why are you on a dating website?

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Is there anyone out there that would date shorter men Posted: 5/28/2009 9:51:06 PM
I saw a program on 20/20 years ago that was fascinating--and sad. They took this group of actors, all attractive men, some short, some tall. They gave them fake bios. They had them stand in a police-style line-up where women could view them behind a one-way screen. The women were told their bios: basically the short guys were given GREAT bios, such as, "Gino is a doctor/writer/romantic, etc., whereas John (a tall guy) is unemployed, still lives with his mother, just got out of jail", etc. You get the idea. ALL of the women only wanted to go out with the tall guys--even if they seemed to be losers, or have very little going on. And, believe me, ALL the guys were very handsome. It made me sick. I would never reject someone on a height basis! I realized them that I am an anomaly in the world of women. These women treated the short guys like men would treat obesely overweight women! I would love to date ANYONE cool, regardless of height. Open up your options, ladies. I don't think Bob above has seen this because he doesn't think that this exists or believes it. CNN also did a similar piece. Also look up the documentary, "S&M: Short and Male"

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

How Important is Height? Posted: 5/24/2009 1:17:04 PM
Chucky quite frankly I stopped reading after your first paragraph. Are you superficial because you have a body type that you're attracted to? No? Then why the hell are women superficial because they have a body type they're attracted to? Height falls into the category of "body type." Since you stopped reading after the first paragraph you don't even know what the article talks about. I guess reading more than a few words in a row must be difficult fro some. In the article Steve Penner talks about his experience as the founder and CEO of Lunch Dates Boston for over 27 years. As an expert in dating and relationships he gives his opinions and observations in regards to shorter than average men. You really should try to read the whole thing before making a judgment. Do I have a body type that I am attracted to...Sure! I love women who have an athletic build or average. But I have dated every body type. I do not base attraction on outward appearance. The inside is what makes someone beautiful. We seem to have forgotten this. In my opinion, this is why we have such a high divorce rate. Height and body type are not in the same catagory. You are trying to compare apples and oranges. Height cannot be changed...Weight can be changed in most cases.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

How Important is Height? Posted: 5/24/2009 9:28:39 AM
Women are very superficial when is comes to height and it is one of the most important things to them. And any women who says it is what is on the inside that matters...Is lying. At the end of the day a short man is screwed unless he has money. If you don't believe me look up the research online. This article by a dating expert is a good example of how important it is... Women hypocrites for refusing to date short men By Steve Penner August 15, 2008 6:00 AM The first column I wrote three years ago dealt with the single issue that bugged me the most during the 23 years I ran the dating service LunchDates. Frankly, it was the aggravation caused by this issue that partially motivated me to start writing these columns. I am referring to single women's prejudice against meeting short men. Since I doubt that too many current readers actually saw that column, I decided to revisit the topic. After all, this is one area in which many women display all the shallowness and superficiality that they love to accuse men of possessing. The same woman who is 10-20 pounds overweight, and who cannot understand why a man might not want to date her because of those few extra pounds ...; that same woman often will refuse to meet a man who is 2 inches shorter than her "ideal." During my years at LunchDates I interviewed women who were very flexible about a man's religion, his hobbies, and even whether he was divorced. But the one criterion they would not budge on was his height! I am not just talking about tall women. It is certainly understandable that a woman who is 5 feet 10 inches might want to meet a man over 6 feet tall. (In fact, though, the few women who stated that they were open to meeting men shorter than themselves tended to be taller women.) What really perplexed me was the number of short women who insisted that they only would date men considerably taller than themselves. It was very common for women 5 feet 4 inches or under to state that they "absolutely" only wanted to meet a man at least 5 feet 10 inches, and they really preferred 6 feet. I find it amazing how many women have attached an almost magical meaning to the height of 6-feet tall. If society tended to describe people in terms of inches rather than feet, I wonder how attractive it would sound to hear a man described as "72 inches tall," rather than "70 inches." If you are skeptical, have a single man you know place an ad on an Internet dating site saying that he is 6 feet. Than have another man place an identical ad except for stating that he is only 5 feet 10 inches. I guarantee that the first ad will attract nearly twice as many responses from women! Now many of the women I interviewed at LunchDates were "modern" women who insisted on equality in every way ...; except height. That is, they were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. They only wanted to meet men who also were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. But those men also had to be tall! When pushed to the wall and asked their reasons, they replied with some of the following excuses: "I usually wear shoes with at least three to four-inch heels," some women responded very naturally. They also frequently pointed out that many boots have even higher heels. So these women would add at least three to four inches to their own height just to pull even, then another few inches to make sure that the man on their arm was still taller. "My father, my brother, and all the men in my family are over 6 feet, so that is what I am used to," one women stated, insisting that she KNEW that the average height of men was around 6 feet. When I tried to tell her that the median height of men was between 5 feet 8 inches and 5 feet 9 inches, she got up and angrily marched out of the interview room! "I am short, and I am looking for a man to father my children, and I don't want to have short children," a number of women told me, with a straight face, I might add. "I just feel safer when I walk down the street with a man who is much taller than me," was also a common response. "I am only attracted to tall men, I just can't help it!" So where does this height bias leave short men? Behind the proverbial eight-ball, I am sad to say. After all, take a woman who is only 5 feet 2 inches, add three to four inches for her "heels," another two to three inches so she can feel safe, and lo and behold, it is not unusual for such a women to refuse to meet any man under 5 feet 9 inches. That means she is eliminating about one-half of the male population. I was especially disheartened when interviewing a man under 5 feet 6 inches. After all, it is easy to tell a single man or woman who smokes a pack a day that he or she would have a much higher Dating Quotient (that is be easier to match) if he or she quit smoking. It is a little more awkward to tell a woman who is very overweight that she will be difficult to match unless she drops a few pounds. But a smoker can quit, and an overweight woman can lose weight. But there is not much a short man can do. Fortunately I am not referring to all women. There are (and were) exceptions. For research purposes, I occasionally would glance through my dating service's "married file," (a file that obviously contained the profiles of couples who met and married through LunchDates). I noted that many of the women in that file had stated in their interview that they really cared very little how tall their matches were, and that flexibility had translated into a very successful membership. Then I looked through the file of people who had completed their membership at LunchDates without meeting anyone. Sure enough, it was full of those women who had insisted they would only meet men much taller than themselves. Over the years I became increasingly frustrated by many women's lack of flexibility in this area. Once I decided I was really going to "negotiate" with a short woman who was insisting that she only wanted to meet men over 6 feet. The woman had just stated that she was looking to get married and have children. "You realize that if you are talking about growing old with a man, most people shrink a couple of inches as they hit old age," I said. The woman paused, thought about what I said, then responded "Well, if he's going to shrink, all the more reason to only meet someone very tall!" Steve Penner was the owner of the Boston-based dating service LunchDates for nearly 23 years.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 93 (view)

How many women here prefer short/skinny men? Posted: 5/21/2009 10:33:33 PM
Being a short man is like having the plague.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Is there anyone out there that would date shorter men Posted: 5/21/2009 10:30:19 PM
Really Bob...Then why does all the research from both academic universities and informal studies done by network news organizations like ABC and CNN prove otherwise? There are not plenty of women out there for the short guy. A great article titled "Women hypocrites for refusing to date short men" by dating expert Steve Penner is a good exmaple of this. If this wasn't such a problem we wouldn't have an organization like the National Organization of Short Statured Adults NOSSA.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Is there anyone out there that would date shorter men Posted: 5/20/2009 9:40:25 PM
I haven't found any women on here. And if shorter guys were having better luck in the real world then we wouldn't see so many of them on here.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 357 (view)

Height/Size Contridiction? Posted: 5/12/2009 7:20:33 PM
Not if they have oddles of cash!! Money doesn't make a big difference. Watch the documentary "S&M: Short and Male"

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 214 (view)

Why do tall big men want tiny women ? Posted: 5/9/2009 6:30:28 PM
Because it makes them feel more masculine.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Can You Be Str8 after being in gay Relationships Posted: 5/9/2009 12:09:23 AM
Is it possible...Yes! The mind is the most powerful thing in the world and we seem to quickly forget this. The second most powerful thing is love. I know both gay men and lesbian women that have gone straight.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 342 (view)

Height/Size Contridiction? Posted: 5/6/2009 9:25:35 PM
There is a double standard that the majority of women live by. If a woman says that she wants a man who is tall, dark and handsome it is called preference or physical attraction. But, if a man says that he wants a woman who is skinny, blond and large breasted he is a superficial pig. I also love the term BBW. It is funny how fat women have done such a great job to market themselves into this term so that we forget that they are fat. Fat women have done such a good job of marketing themselves to men that they even have the term "small BBW". Nothing makes me laugh more than they one. At the end of the day you're still fat and lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Maybe shorter than average men need to come up with some stupid term.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 87 (view)

Men wanting women only and not other men Posted: 4/26/2009 10:28:44 AM
I have learned two things from this...Tall guys are gay and stay away from beer.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

Bi women or Straight women? Posted: 4/24/2009 10:00:13 PM
Lesbians are the best...If you have the opportunity men, go for it.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 608 (view)

Tattoos on the breasts Posted: 4/24/2009 9:59:29 PM
I have no problems with tattoos and find many attractive, but tattoos on the breasts or chest is just trashy looking. Plus tramp stamps make for a great target.

Joined: 1/12/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Sex with Tall women Posted: 4/19/2009 12:35:05 PM
Hi Shorty, you just need to go find you a short girl, and leave the tall girls for the real men! You won't be able to satisfy her in the long run I am offended by this comment that just because I do not reach a certain height requirement that I am not a real man. Last time I looked down I had the same equipement down below as all other men. I am a real man just as much as any man over 6' tall. Your comment is a great representation of the bigotry in our society. So it is height that satisifies a woman?

Show ALL Forums