Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 80 (view)

Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot? Posted: 11/6/2009 8:05:00 AM
I knew an ugly 44 year old man who could not get women. Reality sucked and only fantasies made him happy. So, he fantasized a lot. And he started believing in what he fantasized about. Movie Vanila Sky is about that too. Your "fascinating" story sounds like a FANTASY to me. You sound delusional.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 75 (view)

Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's? Posted: 10/24/2009 5:40:44 PM
kpooks, you wrote:"30 was the age when I saw my own mortality reflected in the gray fog of my mind's eye. With each passing decade, my own mortality becomes more painfully apparent." Seems like you think about death a lot..... How do you know so much about Harrison Ford? Or it is just your guess? Look at Hugh Heffner - he is even older and his girlfriends are so young and gorgeous. One of them - the prettiest- tells him often:" I love you! We are so good together! You do not need the other ones. Marry me. " She, sure, would NEVER be interested in guys like you. But you might get lucky with some young women who want you because they think that you, being older, accomplished a lot. To them it makes sense to marry someone with MORE MONEY, than a young guy who has NOTHING. If I were you I would go after such girls just for fun and then I would not think about death, knowing that I will die as a HAPPY MAN.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 63 (view)

YOU NEED THERAPY! Posted: 10/12/2009 6:53:40 PM
Very American. I knew a shrink who needed therapy more than others. He is such a crew-up! Many of them see shrinks too. In North America they advise therapy for everything. Shrinks make a lot of money hardly helping, in most cases not helping at all. You are a smart woman - that's why friends are for. However, you can not say many things to friends, co-workers, neighbours. That's why there are forums. They advise: if you are angry - write it down. The best therapy!

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 138 (view)

WOULD YOU DATE AN ALIEN? Posted: 10/5/2009 8:35:56 AM
Many men love women with accents. Look at Donald Trump - he has had 2 wives from Eastern Europe.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 392 (view)

Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that? Posted: 10/5/2009 7:58:00 AM
You are 57 and still do not want to accept the fact about men. And you sound like a teenager: "Older men.......chasing 25 year olds???What is with that?" That is the fact of life. A 60 year old man once told me that teenage girls are EVERY man's fantasy. And the younger guys from the gym that are " into you", they want you for some reasons. But you can not be their fantasy. Now, you are looking for a PERFECT man. And such men of your age are looking for the most beautiful girl. I watched a show where a pretty 22 year old girl was marrying an ugly, overweight but wealthy 66 year old man. So, because there are girls interested in much older men, such men will try to get lucky. Now, try to think clearly. Why there should be reasonably presentable, honest, athletic older men out there who have bigger hearts than ego and still available????Just for you???? You sound not just immature but very unreasonable.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 66 (view)

Which date left you laughing Posted: 10/5/2009 7:20:56 AM
To CAT: IS THERE ANY DECENT GUYS. They are married. There might be a decent widower available to you. About your posts - good thing you saw what kind of man he was at the very beginning. It could be worse: a man could pretend to be a nice and decent guy, manipulate you into a relationship and after a while, when you developed feelings for him and got attached to him, show his true nature by abusing you and your trust. Then you would feel used. Not to mention - abused.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

screwing up a relationship Posted: 9/20/2009 8:36:54 AM
Many, many, many men are like you. I want to tell about a guy who screwed up all his relationship. I knew a 44 year old man who never was in a long-term relationship. I like to analyze about the human nature. When this guy told me that he was a bum, a loser, no good, I was wondering why anyone would say such things about oneself. He liked to tell and he gave me too much information about himself. The most complex man I have ever met. He always wanted the girls who were not interested in him. He used girls who wanted to love him and later disrespected them. So, the girls dumped him. That is why he is still single at 44. He sounds judgmental, calling himself a magnet for women with problems, saying that all women, he was involved with, cheated. Yet, he told me that he never was faithful. He resents women and feels like punishing them. Some would say - he hates his mother. No, he loves her very much. He hated his father who was controling. And he inherited his genes. I believe, he is angry at the women who dumped him and not the ones he was in love with, even though those ones did not want him. Because his beautiful, wonderful mother never left his horrible father, unlike the women in his life.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Being Used... Posted: 9/20/2009 8:30:29 AM
I want to tell about a guy who used girls but would say sometimes that the girls used him. We are what we perceive..... I knew a 44 year old man who never was in a long-term relationship. He became bitter. I like to analyze about the human nature. When this guy told me that he was a bum, a loser, no good, I was wondering why anyone would say such things about oneself. He liked to tell and he gave me too much information about himself. The most complex man I have ever met. He always wanted the girls who were not interested in him. He used girls who wanted to love him and later disrespected them. So, the girls dumped him. That is why he is still single at 44. He sounds judgmental, calling himself a magnet for women with problems, saying that all women, he was involved with, cheated. Yet, he told me that he never was faithful. He resents women and feels like punishing them. Some would say - he hates his mother. No, he loves her very much. He hated his father who was controling. And he inherited his genes. I believe, he is angry at the women who dumped him and not the ones he was in love with, even though those ones did not want him. Because his beautiful, wonderful mother never left his horrible father, unlike the women in his life.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Have relationships made you bitter? Posted: 9/20/2009 8:04:16 AM
We are what we perceive..... I knew a 44 year old man who never was in a long-term relationship. He is bitter, Although this guy is middle-aged, he is now as he was when he was a teenager. I like to analyze about the human nature. When this guy told me that he was a bum, a loser, no good, I was wondering why anyone would say such things about oneself. He liked to tell and he gave me too much information about himself. The most complex man I have ever met. He always wanted the girls who were not interested in him. He used girls who wanted to love him and later disrespected them. So, the girls dumped him. That is why he is still single at 44. He sounds judgmental, calling himself a magnet for women with problems, saying that all women, he was involved with, cheated. Yet, he told me that he never was faithful. He resents women and feels like punishing them. Some would say - he hates his mother. No, he loves her very much. He hated his father who was controling. And he inherited his genes. I believe, he is angry at the women who dumped him and not the ones he was in love with, even though those ones did not want him. Because his beautiful, wonderful mother never left his horrible father, unlike the women in his life.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 83 (view)

A Dangerous Perspective Posted: 9/20/2009 7:49:12 AM
I knew a guy who was married and fell in love with a girl 15 years younger than his wife. They became neighbors, that is how this guy met the girl. She was friendly and he assumed that she liked him. So, he decided to divorce his "old" wife and make himself available to the girl. But the girl was not interested in him. He ended up lonely, not to mention 58 K poorer as a divorce settlement, losing his best friend of 23 years who's sister he married.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

To guys who always in love with girls they can not get Posted: 9/19/2009 7:07:39 AM
I knew a 44 year old man who considered himself a LOSER. I figured out why. All his life he wanted girls he could not get. So, he lost many girls he liked and who wanted to love him. His ego was badly bruised, because he was dumped many times. The girls he was in love with would not love him. His self-esteem was very low. Have you went through what he had? Have you been in a relationship with a girl you did not love because you were in love with someone else? How did it go and how long did it last? How do you feel about beeing the man you are? Do you hate girls? Do you fantasize about punishing them for your heartbreaks? If you feel like talking about all the pain and frustration, here is the place to do so.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

I love you, but I have to leave you.... Posted: 9/19/2009 6:43:23 AM
There are and will be many men like him available to you. But you might not be attracted and have feelings to them. It is a fact that men can not help themselves - they are attracted to very young girls. A 60 year old man told me that teenage girls are EVERY man's fantasy. Men like him desire very young girls but can not get them. However they want sex and not to be lonely. So, they use women they can get. Mainly mature ones. But they can not love those women. Such men want interesting mature women for friendship as well. Most likely as many as he can get. Very immature type.... Leaving him was better (for you) than loving him and feeling too old to be loved.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 114 (view)

Article On Mature Ladies and Dating. Posted: 9/18/2009 7:42:57 AM
You are right. The difference between men and women is that ALL men love and need sex, but not every woman does it. When very young girls want to have a boyfriend (not for sex), many mature women do not. If such women want a man just for sex, they would prefer someone younger, which makes sense. About the looks. Most women prefer men who look like a protector - tall, broad shouldered, muscular. Those who want a life partner interested only in men who are considerate, kind, sweet, loving, supportive, devoted. Many women prefer financially independent men. If they will not meet such men, they would rather get a pet. Now, men can not have sex with a cat, they need a woman. The question is why a mature man can not find a woman. Most likely he is not mature, rather than his age. And/or see above.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Can you ever become attracted to someone your NOT attracted to? Posted: 9/7/2009 7:27:40 PM
Having a life partner is very important. Someone who respects you, cares for you.... There are many women who are attracted to men which do not give a $hit about those women, but will use them and abuse them. To some of you those women are either whores or golddiggers. I would rather be the latter than to love such men. Look at many old men who are with much younger women. Do those men really think that young girls can be attracted to old men? They do not care! As long as a pretty girl is willing, he is a lucky man.....

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Can you ever become attracted to someone your NOT attracted to? Posted: 9/7/2009 7:03:45 PM
She is 52 and the guy would do anything for her....If she wants to get married, she should marry him, taking into consideration that she knows him long enough. Including his past. She can even google him. Background check is very important. Many people pretend to be someone they are not. I met too many women of that age who are fed up with meeting many men who let them know that they are too old to be loved. If you are so naiive that in your age there are many men who desire you and you feel attraction towards them, carry on and you might end up lonely. Not to mention you will keep meeting yahoos, losers, psychopaths. There is a good reason why there are many men available to you, a 42 year old woman - because they are not good for a meaningful, long-lasting relationship. Many of them used many women in their life, they are self-indulgent, serving only their best interest. They do not respect women. If you need only a lover, there are many guys for that. The decent ones are married, dead or widowed (if you are lucky you might meet one). A 55 year old woman divorced her husband after 23 years of marriage. Because she did not feel loved. Because he did not want to be married , he wanted to date many women before he dies. Such men are available to you and to your friend. And about being good in bed....if he is good in bed, most likely he had many women and will have more. Such men know that they are good at pleasing a woman and they would never be faithful - they will please women until the day they die......

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

People who have changed Posted: 9/5/2009 3:36:43 PM
"When it comes down to anything of good quality and longer term the attitude and behavior is far far more important than just the phycial stuff". I know that for many older men it "does not work". Being with a beautiful young girl who is not of good quality is far more important than being with a "good quality" attractive mature woman. A guy who feels that way even calls himself a LOSER because he lost several good beautiful women to this weakness of his. He is a high- school teacher and obsessed with his teenage female students. And he hopes that one day he will get "lucky" - a needy pretty young girl will choose to be with a mature "good" teacher.....And he is willing even to jeopardize his career for this oportunity of a life time.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

10 things I hate about you. Posted: 9/5/2009 4:20:19 AM
10 things I hate about WHO? I can find many on forums. Found it! Kpooks. You sound too good to be true. H-A-T-E I-T! You are too pale. H-A-T-E I-T! You are not tall enough. Oh, well....I give up.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Broken Trust ? Posted: 9/3/2009 12:27:40 AM
You both are crazy! Let's look at you. You called him 3 times living messages of the negative nature??? You do whatever you feel in his house. I do not even want to talk about him. Sounds like high school. Looks like you deserve each other.....

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 67 (view)

Love and sex: confused at 54! Posted: 9/3/2009 12:00:17 AM
Everyone has shortcomings. They say: " If you are not happy about someones, do not try to change them. Remove yourself - it easier that way." The question is: " What would you prefer: great sex, but controlling person or bad sex, but unconditional love? You can not have them both. Reality sucks.....

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

is falsifying one's profile age no longer taboo? Posted: 9/2/2009 11:26:35 PM
Many women cheat about their age (men's fault) like many men cheat about their height. According to your profile you are 5'7''. One guy told me:" think - 2 inches." I guess you are 5' 5". Am I right? If it's the only dishonesty - not a big deal. Just like most women wear make-up to look pretty, but when you see them without it, you might feel cheated. Again, not a big deal. If someones pretend to be something they are not - then it is a big deal.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

Do women have more expectations than men? Posted: 8/24/2009 7:07:27 AM
Yes! Women are looking for a perfect long-lasting relationship while men think about getting laid. If a woman was with a man for several years and he would not commit, she considers all those years like a waste of time. A man NEVER thinks like that. Afterall, he got laid all those years. And loved. So, he was not lonely.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Am I becoming a sugar daddy without knowing it? Posted: 8/24/2009 6:26:49 AM
I knew a guy who was in the similar situation. HE met a 35 year old beautiful woman who was 24 years younger than him. She let him know that her previous boyfriend brought her only to the finest restaurants. So, this man did the same. They went out only 5 times and always to various fine restaurants. He spent a lot on her. The last date turned ugly - she broke up with him. He could not get over her for several years. I guess if you are after a much younger woman, you should expect to pay a lot for her company.....

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 1138 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 8/24/2009 6:12:42 AM
Everyone is selfish. People are like animals in many ways. For example, bears. A mother bear thinks about her cubs and takes care of them. A male bear thinks only about his needs. Most men are like male bears. Blame it on NATURE or GOD. I watched a video about elephants. There was a family of female elephants and the young ones. In the family females take care of each other. That should be a woman's nature, but many women are narcissists. Back to the elephants. A big mature male was approaching the group - he wanted sex. He picked a very young female, one year under age. Having seen the huge male she got scared and started running away. He went after her and got her. Many men are like that - they get obsessed with very young girls. Women who expect men to be like them are not wise.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Endless Love Posted: 8/17/2009 6:35:35 AM
Define LOVE. People who say:" I will always love you!" are "romantics" whatever that means. My definition of LOVE is it's Reflection of one's EGO and NEEDS. People want to be with beautiful ones because it pleases their ego and they need affection and/or sex, whatever comes first. However, everyone has shortcomings and it's annoying. So, after a while people get annoyed with each other. To be in love and to be loved is beautiful - that is what everyone is after. But when people get irritated with each other for a long period of time, Love is gone. Or when a man (in most cases) have discovered a woman, he gets bored and wants to discover another one. It is just his NATURE. And there is nothing that woman can do to change his feelings towards her. Some women go after plastic surgeries to change the situation, it's just desparate and pathetic. Yet, there are men who are capable of loving a woman for a long period of time. Most women just get attached to a man and they think they love him. I am sure that many just do not know what LOVE is.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 125 (view)

why can't people just be who they are Posted: 8/5/2009 9:42:22 AM
If they were who they are, they would not get what they want. Let's say a middle-aged man is ugly, short, with a body of a child, a smoker, disrespectful and into teenage girls, wants a woman. He can not just be himself - he would never get one. So, he pretends to be taller, caring, considerate, a non-smoker. He gets some women close to his age until they discover his true nature. And the women will leave him. Yet, he gets laid. Of coarse, they are women who pretend to be someones they are not. It is all advertising.....

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 140 (view)

Must the goal be 24/7 in a committed relationship? Posted: 8/2/2009 6:18:14 PM
You just have not found your kind of woman. There are many women with the same goal. You are right saying that living together ruins a romantic relationship. I detest hearing: "It is so romantic." I bet people do not know what romantic means - they just know that it should be pleasant/beautiful. The ones who say that you should always be happy only encourage selfishness and self-indulgence. All that will lead to self-distruction. Be happy - take a pill or sleep with anyone that wants you or a young hooker. Look at Freddy Mercury - he was enjoying himself and lived his life to the fullest. A where he is now? Dead. Too much love (and fun) can kill you. How about taking care of someone else. That is when life has a meaning. Movie Ghost Town is a great example how to listen to others and care of people who are not just hot. And what about to be a protector for a woman?

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

Love at first sight? It doesn't happen anymore in our age? Posted: 6/16/2009 5:50:59 AM
thanks for all your opinions. It's just that i'm not a bad looking woman...here in POF get a lot of messages, of course, i reply and that's it! Never met anyone because i back off, for some reason. I feel like i don't need anyone, but why am i here for. My social life is very good, i dance a lot, i sing and i have a good laugh with my female friends. I'm just wondering why am still without anyone?? There is always something missing..... You are wondering why you are without a man or why you do not have love (from a man I assume) in your life. Perhaps, it is better the way you are. We can not get everything we want. When you start dating, you will notice that the men who are available to you are rather boring, annoying or too good to be true. Those men are not good for a successful relationship. That is why they are available. They say: "All the good men are married." True. You might meet such men and fall in love with them, but they are not available! It does not stop some women. You might get lucky and meet a widower who loved his wife and was devoted to her. He might be fathful to you too. But it does not mean that he will love you. Anyway, do you want to go through all that? Smart busy women need men only for sex and that is what most men are for.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 123 (view)

Men who refuse to date women thier own age an older.why? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:46:39 PM
OK, let's say I am a man. I am tired of dating and want to settle down with one woman. In my age many women are not as desirable as are girls in their 20s. I want one that I would still desire 20 years later. Sure, I would choose a gorgeous girl in her early 20s if one wanted me. Someone older than me will be almost 70 20 years from now! I would refuse to have sex with her and she would be hurt. There, I am very considerate.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

What's your TYPE? Posted: 4/24/2009 9:22:39 PM
My type is transsexual, transvertite and crossdresser. It is like 2 in 1: a man and a girlfriend. No one of you seem to want them - I will take them!

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 107 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/24/2009 8:18:28 PM
I saw a young mother feeding her baby with french fries here in Canada. One can avoid fried stuff and get fat anyway by eating a lot of nuts or even adding olive oil to every meal without moving a lot. Not to mention cheeses. Many enjoy good healthy food and gain weight.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 106 (view)

American Women vs Canadien Women Posted: 4/24/2009 7:59:06 PM
This dude does not get enough attention from local women, so he decided to go to forums and attract attention of some females from other parts of Canada. I knew a guy from Toronto who was "fishinig" not only in his pond. He "caught'' a gorgeous woman from British Columbia. Most hot ( I bet the dude is not hot) American women are on Millionaire Matchmaker or likewise sites.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 209 (view)

Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's? Posted: 4/22/2009 7:19:55 AM
I noticed that many women in their profiles limit the potential partner's age from a little bit younger than her to much older. In my opinion, it is stupid. I knew a 20 year old gorgeous mature guy who commited himself to a long-term relationship with a girl 6 1/2 years older than him. He could have had many young beautiful girls, but because he was mature, he decided that he met the right girl. She was very special, even though I did not consider her pretty. Being mature at that very young age, he was not really after gorgeous girls, but a girl who he would enjoy life with for a long time. He did not rush into sex. It shows a great deal of maturity. He is the type of men that many women are after. And there are many older men 40 and over who still are not mature and never will be. So, my advise to women, do not look for men only in certain group age - try every man who sounds "normal" and you might be surprised. I saw on TV one woman who dated 150 men across USA. She wrote a book about it. She wanted to find Mr.Right for herself and traveled within USA to find The One. She ended up marrying one of them, but at first she was not sure about the guy and continued dating.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone? Posted: 4/19/2009 7:00:22 AM
I recommend Bitter Moon the movie and another movie with young Betty Davies, I am not sure about the name. Has Obsession in it. These are great examples about men getting obsessed with the objects of their desire.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 136 (view)

Nice Guy Syndrome Posted: 4/19/2009 6:08:34 AM
You consider yourself a Nice Guy, otherwise you would not post this topic. I doubt that you are into Nice Girls/Women. That is your problem. Or you get obsessed with females who are not interested in you. Big problem! When a woman says:"You are a nice guy, let's just be friends" or "You are nice, I love you, but I am not in love with you" means the same - she is not into you and not because you a nice. She just does not want to hurt your feelings. I have read about a "Nice Guy" who fell in love with a beautiful girl. Because he was not a looker, he had to impress a girl with his attitude - being nice. That girl loved a handsome guy and married him. But it did not last. A few years later she was divorced. And the "Nice Guy" was there for her. She thought: "Even though I am not attracted to him, but he is so nice to me and still loves me, I should choose him as my life partner". They got married and as soon as she became officially his, he showed his true colours. She turned out to be hateful and spiteful and set up to make her life miserable for rejecting him several years ago.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

Keep finding men who are unavailable Posted: 4/15/2009 10:33:48 PM
Gladys, you advise her to love herself. To put on her stilletoes.....and suffer just to look sexy. Stilletoes are invented by men. They do not suffer, women do. I have read your profile. You like to play in the mud, chunky dip, & dye my puppy pink??????? Neither I nor any of my female friends love to play in the mud. It is a learned behavior - you watched some shows where girls did so and you thought that that is how a woman should behave to be sexy. Only stupid girls (most of them with breast implants) play in the mud wearing bikinies just to impress men, because men love it. Why does it have to be because men love it?????? Now, about that poor animal. Why does it need to suffer???? Because, the puppy can not say: "You need help." Attention Animal Control!!!!!

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Keep finding men who are unavailable Posted: 4/15/2009 10:08:27 PM
Pro-filer said it right. From your post here, and looking at your profile I think you may need to spend some time not dating and not looking for someone to love and cherish you, but to learn to love and cherish yourself. To be very direct, your profile is off-putting, as it puts the onus on the reader to literally drag things out of you - especially since you invite the reader to tell you what to write. The negative tone in your profile will also tend to drive people away. I suspect this may also come across offline so at this point in your life, I'd suggest you aren't emotionally available either, even though you may think you are. Take some time. People will still be here when you're ready.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 74 (view)

Can we have too much pride? or is it that we are conceited fools? Posted: 4/15/2009 9:43:13 PM
We are prisoners of our own EGO. All of us want to admire our partners and be proud of them. This way we can respect them. To lower your standards is a very bad idea. A beautiful mature woman dated a handsome, tall, athletic, funny, selfish older man. She had enough of his stupidity and decided to date unattractive, short guys who would appreciate being chosen by a pretty woman. So, she picked an ugly, short (5'7'') guy with a body of a child who was a little bit younger than her. He was not funny at all. He turned out to be stupid and selfish as well. She, sure, regreted lowering her standarts.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 142 (view)

Men in their 40's, attracted to women in their 40's? Posted: 4/14/2009 5:32:13 PM
A matchmaker said: "You are over 40 and dating.......prepare yourself for a bumpy road......" Most older men want girls, preferably very young girls - they are every man's fantasies. Just look at those adorable young creatures and compare them to women in their 40's. Are you blind? It's like wondering why ugly people are attracted to beautiful ones. "O, those ugly folks, they are unreasonable! They should look only for ugly ones. No, they want the pretty ones." Everyone is attracted to beauty. Many women are unreasonable too. I met one, 32, unattractive, uninteresting, such a bore, yet she was interested only in gorgeous and interesting guys close to her age. She is single.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

How can someone just give up on a good thing without reason? Posted: 4/8/2009 8:10:13 PM
You are 42 with a daughter, never been married. She had just come out of a divorce about 4 months earlier...your previous relationship ended about 6 months prior but you were ok and had no 'baggage'. My guess is you ended your previous relationship to be free again and start dating other women. That is when you could be ok. Your baggage is that you do not want to see your shortcomings. I knew a guy who said that he was like a "magnet" for women with problems and that women cheated on him. Sounds like you. Are you a guy who says: "It is not over till I say it is over"?

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 56 (view)

What types of baggage (yours or theirs), has ruined a relationship? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:49:49 AM
The third example. A guy was in love with a girl, but she did not love him, yet was very friendly with him. So, he hoped that she will change her mind. After a while he started dating other girls. And when with another girl, he would talk about the girl he was in love with - he could not help, he was thinking about her a lot. Of coarse, he could not be with another girls. Who wants to hear about other girls????? Concentrate on the girl you are with.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 55 (view)

What types of baggage (yours or theirs), has ruined a relationship? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:48:17 AM
The third example. A guy was in love with a girl, but she did not love him, yet was very friendly with him. So, he hoped that she will change her mind. After a while he started dating other girls. And when with another girl, he would talk about the girl he was in love with - he could not help, he was thinking about her a lot. Of coarse, he could not be with another girls. Who wants to hear about other girls????? Concentrate on the girl you are with.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

What types of baggage (yours or theirs), has ruined a relationship? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:40:15 AM
Another baggage. I knew a 60 year old man who dated some interesting women, but was not sexually attracted to them. So, he turned them into his friends. Those women hoped that the man will change his mind about them. One was calling him 3 times a day. Yet, he needed those women in his life - it made him feel good. What sane woman would want to be with such a guy?????

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

What types of baggage (yours or theirs), has ruined a relationship? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:39:21 AM
Another baggage. I knew a 60 year old man who dated some interesting women, but was not sexually attracted to them. So, he turned them into his friends. Those women hoped that the man will change his mind about them. One was calling him 3 times a day. Yet, he needed those women in his life - it made him feel good. What sane woman would want to be with such a guy?????

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

What types of baggage (yours or theirs), has ruined a relationship? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:32:22 AM
I knew a middle-aged man who never was in a long-term relationship because of his baggage. He was his father's son and inherited his genes. When he grew up, he hated his dad who was controlling, had no respect for others. And that was in him too. Even though he could be very affectionate and caring. In addition, he got bitter at women who did not love him unconditionally the way his mother did. His mom did not leave her husband, so the guy wanted to find such a woman, but without success. To top it all, he was a high-school teacher and was in love with some of his female student. He could not love the women who were interested in him. Not a winning combination.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

What types of baggage (yours or theirs), has ruined a relationship? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:31:23 AM
I knew a middle-aged man who never was in a long-term relationship because of his baggage. He was his father's son and inherited his genes. When he grew up, he hated his dad who was controlling, had no respect for others. And that was in him too. Even though he could be very affectionate and caring. In addition, he got bitter at women who did not love him unconditionally the way his mother did. His mom did not leave her husband, so the guy wanted to find such a woman, but without success. To top it all, he was a high-school teacher and was in love with some of his female student. He could not love the women who were interested in him. Not a winning combination.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

Giving Love to get Sex/Giving Sex to get Love? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:13:47 AM
Lovemaking is the word for women, getting laid is for men. So, she was right. Of coarse, it is not for everyone. Most men are driven by their nature to have sex. 2 men told me that they lied to girls, pretended to be in love with them, promised the girls a lot just to get laid. The girls offered themselves to these guys to be loved or just to get the guy. There are girls who had sex with only handsome or older guys because it was impowering to them and not because they loved sex. According to the statistics, 80 % of all women do not enjoy sex as an act, but enjoy the intimacy - hugging, caressing, kissing. I knew a 44 year old man, who slept with many girls when he was young, but had hard time getting a girl when he got older. Being horny, he was ready to settle with a woman about his age. Yet, while being with such women, he fantasized about some young cute girls. Obviously, he could not love those women, but he pretended to and he was getting what he wanted - sex.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Giving Love to get Sex/Giving Sex to get Love? Posted: 3/30/2009 7:12:11 AM
Lovemaking is the word for women, getting laid is for men. So, she was right. Of coarse, it is not for everyone. Most men are driven by their nature to have sex. 2 men told me that they lied to girls, pretended to be in love with them, promised the girls a lot just to get laid. The girls offered themselves to these guys to be loved or just to get the guy. There are girls who had sex with only handsome or older guys because it was impowering to them and not because they loved sex. According to the statistics, 80 % of all women do not enjoy sex as an act, but enjoy the intimacy - hugging, caressing, kissing. I knew a 44 year old man, who slept with many girls when he was young, but had hard time getting a girl when he got older. Being horny, he was ready to settle with a woman about his age. Yet, while being with such women, he fantasized about some young cute girls. Obviously, he could not love those women, but he pretended to and he was getting what he wanted - sex.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

people who have the least to offer the most critical and picky? Posted: 3/28/2009 8:00:08 PM
Andrew, you are right that both men and women get angry and bitter sooner or later. I looked at your profile and had hard time understanding that a guy with a profile and photo like yours could not get a "normal" woman. Unless you want the ones who prefer alpha males. Then, you had it coming. Or you have a BAGGAGE. Or you have a mother who loves you very much and you do not understand why other women can not love you unconditionally. Nowadays, there are so many websites where you can meet women. Many women are willing to relocate for the right man.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

How do you get over someone who doesn't want you?? Posted: 3/28/2009 6:34:11 PM
You are only 22, get used to it. You will meet many guys like him. I recommend you to see movie Bitter Moon.

treselle

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 209 (view)

over 40 and never married...is this a RED FLAG! Posted: 3/23/2009 6:20:00 AM
bunomatic, the hell with married, not married or what is wrong or right with you. I will tell you something about you. You are a self-serving narcissist. You displayed so many photos of yourself in your profile. Just one would do. Good for you that you never got married! At least you look happy. I prefer being around not married happy folks than miserable married or divorced ones.

Show ALL Forums