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Thread: Your broken heart stories

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Your broken heart stories Posted: 8/17/2009 4:43:27 PM
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another". The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another". As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister, you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?" The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her." The bartender says "Geez, what did you say." The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 212 (view)

Does Anyone Else Worry About Growing Old Alone? Posted: 8/17/2009 4:38:54 PM
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, move to Texas. Bert always wanted a >pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing > some on sale, he buys them and wears them home. Walking proudly he goes >into the kitchen and says to his wife, > "Notice anything different about me?" >Margaret looks him over, "Nope". >Frustrated, Bert storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back >into the kitchen completely naked except > for the boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, >"Notice anything different NOW?" > Margaret looks up and says, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down >today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down > again tomorrow." > Furious, Bert yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" >"Nope", she replies. >"IT'S HANGING >DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!" >Margaret replies... "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Ya shoulda bought a hat."

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 122 (view)

Why we do the people we do! Posted: 8/17/2009 4:34:52 PM
Finally, women have a polite form letter to send out and avoid those awkward and messy confrontations: Dear (NAME), I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name and number on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition: (Check those that apply) ___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it. ___ Your first name is objectionable. It is just not something I can picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion. ___ You failed the 20 Question Rule: I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself. ___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality. ___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. ___ Your breasts are bigger than mine. ___ You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up repeatedly at recess. ___ You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to kiss you. ___ You have a hairy back. ___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing. ___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable. ___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation. ___ You still live with your parents. ___ You are older than my father. This will not work. ___ I am old enough to be your mother. This will not work. ___ Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek uniforms a little disconcerting. ___ Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that you are some sort of psychotic stalker. ___ Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a long term partner. ___ The fact that you refer to the Pro Bowler's Tour as "must see TV" demonstrates that you do not meet my intelligence requirements. ___ Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight bag were really necessary for a successful business trip. ___ I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time. ___ Other (Explain):______________________________________ Sincerely,

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 73 (view)

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN MEN TO ME Posted: 12/29/2008 1:11:47 PM
She dresses carefully to attract his attention, and he wonders what she looks like without clothes. She wants to look deep into his eyes, but he's looking down at her chest. She imagines dinner with candles, and he imagines them writhing in bed. She is ruled by her heart, and he is ruled by the vision of two legs spread wide apart. She is honest and sincere, and he puts on an elaborate act. In the end--if he plays his part well--he gets what he's after. And she...well...she hopes this time it will be different. What is it that women don't seem to get? Or are they, too, just playing a part?

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

Wow!! Can you believe this one? What should I do? Posted: 7/23/2008 11:57:01 AM
There should be a website "MEN ON LINE A WOMAN SHOULD BE AWARE OF".Or "BAD BOYFRIENDS." Something like REFERENCE FOR DATING MEN. There are websites where men who are into hookers, can read about the hookers in their area. Who are good and who are lousy.....

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

Wow!! Can you believe this one? What should I do? Posted: 7/23/2008 11:36:02 AM
It is not easy to be a man. His woman expects him to be loyal, but he can not be. All the hot women around..... he wants to have sex with all of them. He needs to be in love. So, he pretends, he lies. He can not help it - it is in his NATURE. You wanted to be in love too. So, you found a man. We can not help what we like, even though what we like might not be good for us. We have NO POWER over such things. Look at the bright side: beautiful memories were created, you were not raped or badly mistreated. If you did not get what you wanted - a long-term relationship with the man, it could be for the best. Many men are good ONLY AS LOVERS. And to find a good lover is not that easy. I dated a number of single men who pretended to be kind, caring, considerate, generous, reliable, but turned out to be cheep, rude, unreliable, bad listeners, into teenage girls. Disappointment is part of the DATING GAME.

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 433 (view)

18 year old girl marries a 40 year old man? Posted: 7/16/2008 5:43:55 PM
A know a 22 year old girl who married a 42 year old man. That man is breathtaking........

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 132 (view)

Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first? Posted: 7/11/2008 11:55:50 AM
"She dresses carefully to attract his attention, and he wonders what she looks like without clothes. She wants to look deep into his eyes, but he's looking down at her chest. She imagines dinner with candles, and he imagines them writhing in bed. She is ruled by her heart, and he is ruled by the vision of two legs spread wide apart. She is honest and sincere, and he puts on an elaborate act. In the end--if he plays his part well--he gets what he's after. And she...well...she hopes this time it will be different. What is it that women don't seem to get? Or are they, too, just playing a part?"

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 614 (view)

why do men think they can use women for sex? Posted: 7/11/2008 11:54:12 AM
"She dresses carefully to attract his attention, and he wonders what she looks like without clothes. She wants to look deep into his eyes, but he's looking down at her chest. She imagines dinner with candles, and he imagines them writhing in bed. She is ruled by her heart, and he is ruled by the vision of two legs spread wide apart. She is honest and sincere, and he puts on an elaborate act. In the end--if he plays his part well--he gets what he's after. And she...well...she hopes this time it will be different. What is it that women don't seem to get? Or are they, too, just playing a part?"

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 378 (view)

Women just don't seem to get it! Or do they? Posted: 7/11/2008 11:51:09 AM
She dresses carefully to attract his attention, and he wonders what she looks like without clothes. She wants to look deep into his eyes, but he's looking down at her chest. She imagines dinner with candles, and he imagines them writhing in bed. She is ruled by her heart, and he is ruled by the vision of two legs spread wide apart. She is honest and sincere, and he puts on an elaborate act. In the end--if he plays his part well--he gets what he's after. And she...well...she hopes this time it will be different. What is it that women don't seem to get? Or are they, too, just playing a part? It sounds like written by a woman who was involved with the man in the photo and who felt like being used by him for sex. so, she decided to spoil his reputation and feels good about many folks here making him look like a prick. She, sure, is very angry......

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 604 (view)

why do men think they can use women for sex? Posted: 7/10/2008 5:49:23 PM
He might not like you as a lover. You are not compatible most likely.

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 581 (view)

why do men think they can use women for sex? Posted: 7/7/2008 4:12:57 PM
Get used to the idea that most men will pretend to be soooooo nice just to get laid. But it does not mean that they are nice. It is a WINNING GAME. There is no fault on your part - do not blame yourself for that. If you thought all the time how to make it right with a guy - you would go nuts. Think this way:" I made love to a nice and gentle man, even though it was just one time."

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 95 (view)

Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women! Posted: 6/14/2008 11:10:33 AM
You are 59 looking for a 55-99 year old man. And what kept you from allowing yourself the pleasure of being ...physical /love making? That someone would not take you for a slut? If you really want to enjoy intimacy with a man, get the one who is interested in you and he does not make you vomit. Forget about the 55-99. If a much younger man wants you - go for it! Otherwise, you will die as a virgin. Most men 55-99 would not want you for "lovemaking" anyway. Really, do you want a 70-99 year old man to make love to you?

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 117 (view)

Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first? Posted: 6/14/2008 10:49:57 AM
Most women are interested in mature men, most men are NOT interested in mature women. Teenage girls are every older man's fantasy. So, most older men behave like teenagers. If you are a woman looking for a man not just as friends, you should know what every man wants. SEX.

Joined: 6/16/2005

Msg: 224 (view)

Anyone Tried the RUSSIAN thing? Posted: 6/19/2005 2:01:59 PM
Why some American men look outside USA for wives? They want much younger women, oops, girls, very pretty, mostly well-educated (some prefer to have their own doctors at home). They expect that those girls will adore them and be thankful for the rest of their lives for bringing them to USA. Perhaps, if those old farts picked old women for themselves they would grow old together Anyway, they had it coming....

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