online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

     
Posted In Forum:
Home   login   MyForums  
Show ALL Forums  
 
 Author Thread: i'm a single dad yet always get the same question
 Primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
i'm a single dad yet always get the same question
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:05:31 AM
I get that a lot too. "How come you have your daughter more than the mother?" Well... It's actually starting to become more common among males. Gender roles are changing when it comes to who can raise the kid(s) best.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Agree OR Disagree?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:49:09 PM
I think if there are enough little things, you have one big thing... Combinations of both, too much one one or the other, and it's not worth it.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Talk About Being Impatient
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:48:14 PM
Wow... It sounds like he has some issues... Possibly even SERIOUS issues.

Chances are you don't want to get to know him.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
dont know what to do?advise
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:41:01 PM
Document, document, document... Record everything. When it comes down to it, he'll lose in the long run.

Make sure you save everything, and he'll look like a fool in court.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How should a single mom, with no help, date?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:39:31 PM
I wouldn't say don't date, but I do agree with making sure that your kid(s) don't meet someone unless you're sure that they're going to stick around. It's to introduce kids to someone, then have them leave, introduce them to someone new, and keep repeating the process.

From a psychological standpoint... That's not a good idea. If you know the person is going to stick around, and they seem like they're good to go... Then by all means, introduce them.

You can always get a babysitter.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:31:15 PM
I think you should tell people right away. It's best to be straight forward right away, than to seem like you are trying to "hide" things.

Being open and honest is always the best policy. If they run the other direction, then it's an obvious sign that they're more than likely someone you wouldn't want to be with anyway.

After all... You're always going to have your kid(s), and if they can't accept that, then it's their problem.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 211 (view)
 
How Many Men Out There Can Actually Cum Orally?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:27:31 PM
Don't feel bad... I haven't from oral.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What exactly makes one's profile "GAY?"
Posted: 2/16/2008 5:46:23 AM
I keep getting messages from people, both men and women, who think I'm gay, curious, or bi... I don't get it.

What in my profile is making me come off that way? I mean I do have that I'm looking for females, not males, so what's the deal?
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Do guys ever overthink?
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:19:59 AM
Why wouldn't you just be upfront with him about the situation instead of putting him on the back burner.

I think that if you were in his shoes, you might wonder what was going on too.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Intimate encounters
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:18:00 AM
LOL... That's because they think they're all that... GOD'S GIFT to women. They just want to make sure you get the chance to experience God's gift... That's all. LOL
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Am I wrong to think hes interested?
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:15:20 AM
That's a tough one... I know a lot of people that are scared to break the friendship line to pursue a relationship just for one reason... What if the relationship breaks and that fantastic friendship goes right with it?

I'd rather have the friendship.

Best practice to get in to is to just be straight forward about your feelings, tell the truth, and if he is a friend, he'll put it to you gently. Might be in favor of more than the friendship, but he might think that it wouldn't be worth losing the friendship over it as well.

Just ask him how he feels.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
In love with the sex.
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:12:30 AM
What makes her not the one is my question? Age difference, one bad habit that just annoys them so badly that they can't stand being around the person after awhile, maybe they have nothing to talk about and that bothers them that all there is sex?

There are a ton of reasons why not to stay with someone. Even though sex is amazing, I wouldn't stay with someone if there wasn't some other kind of connection.

If I felt that the relationship was not going to be anymore than sex, I'd want out too.

I'd want to know that my partner could offer me more than just mind blowing sex. I'd want someone I could talk to, and not get upset because they have no clue, or don't want to talk to me. I'd want someone to cuddle with, watch movies, with, travel, sky dive, down hill ski, scuba dive... I'd want to share so much more than just sex with someone, and if I couldn't share anything but the sex... That would tell me to move on.

If this is a real situation, I'd find out what's missing or that is present that is making the person not want to stick around.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Clingyness vs Opening up
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:57:03 AM
I think that there is a major different between opening up, and being clingy. Opening up is just talking and letting them know who you are. Being clingy is when you start to demand all his time.

By no means does opening up to someone mean that you're clinging on to them.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What Is The Worst Thing You Could Say To A Guy To Scare Him?
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:53:24 AM
She could admit to having a penis or a sex change. That would be a deal breaker for me.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
is this to old?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:47:32 PM
I'd love to cut the guys balls off. If anyone did that to my daughter, they might end up missing.

I can understand the parent's concern for their daughter, but I'd still call the cops on the guy.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Do guys have body image woes?
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:29:36 AM
I've always wondered if I'm too hairy. The older I get the more hairy I get. I'm my hair is also starting to thin out too, and that's kind of bothersome as well. Love handles are starting to form too, but I'm working out to hopefully get rid of those.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 105 (view)
 
Why do men make vomit-faces when you mention Oprah?
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:24:20 AM
I don't make vomit faces when I watch Oprah. I find some of the things that she talks about very interesting.

I guess the men that do are just jealous of how successful she might be?
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
So I need to talk to my man about sex but don't know how...
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:23:18 AM
Well if you're living together this is actually a bit easier than if you're not. If you are living together, start buying healthier groceries, start cooking for him, and that way you can make sure he's eating healthy.

Then start a routine with the two of you. Go for walks, have healthy snacks throughout the day when you two are together.

Get bikes, and go for rides during the summer together. Find some sport that you both like to play, and go for it.

Staying active and eating better are key to losing weight. It's easier when the two of you do it at the same time.

You might also want to possibly talk to him about depression. If he's losing interest in a lot of things that he used to like... He might be suffering from depression.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 159 (view)
 
What to do when a guy says it's between you and someone else?
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:06:06 AM
Yeah... I don't think I would like it if I was dating someone and they were dating another person as well. I think that it isn't the best practice to date multiple people at the same time. You're always bound to hurt someone, so I don't understand why people do it.

Some say to "keep their options open," but if you decide to stop dating someone, you're options are still open. I think it's a ridiculous excuse to date more than one person at a time.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Do you care about finances when dating?
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:00:40 AM
I think money is important only to the extent of where you want to go in life. I eventually want to buy a house, have a dog or two, some land out in the country, woods, etc... IF someone isn't financially responsible, I don't think I would want to get too serious with them. On the other hand, if they were filthy rich, I'd feel intimidated as well. I think there is a happy medium out there.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Muscular women... Turn-on or off?
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:52:53 AM
I think it's hot.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Why do you think it becomes so much harder to find a relationship when one gets older?
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:35:47 AM
It gets harder... As you get older, at least from what I've seen, people get more picky about who they want to be with. They have less time to "waste" on find the "one."
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 137 (view)
 
Snoring... how do you deal with it??
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:31:20 AM
There is a medical mask you can have that should fix the problem. He'll take some time getting used to it, but he'll sleep better afterwards.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
tired of being a single dad
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:22:46 AM
Have you thought about the possibility of going to church, or joining some type of men's group or club? I know that in some cites they have a single fathers club where you can take your kids to (daycare), and meet and talk with other single fathers.

It's kind of like AA, but instead of talking about drinking issues, you talk about relationship problems, advice, getting support, finding people to talk to, and sometimes they have card games. It's a good opportunity for you and your kids to get out there and play.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
new to single parenthood and dating
Posted: 1/25/2008 5:17:33 AM
I wouldn't worry too much about not getting a response on here. A lot of people "run" as soon as they see that someone has a kid.

Besides... Finding the "right" person should take time. You not only have to find the "right" one for you... You need to think about finding the "right" one for your child as well.

Don't give in to the fly by night relationships either. I've seen so many single mothers on here writing about meeting someone really nice, getting physical, then getting the boot.

Just remember to take your time, be selective, really get to know someone before you get intimate with them, and make sure that they understand what you're looking for.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Isnt it hard enough without the b*tchy comments?
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:43:21 PM
You know... That never happens with me. I don't know? Maybe people are scared to come up to me and say anything?

If someone said that to me though, I would have been like... "At least my daughter is acting her age unlike you."
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How do you divorce the Mother In Law?
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:41:26 PM
Bad news... You have kids, and as long as you have kids... You're ALWAYS going to have those annoying ex relatives. Trust me... They're unavoidable.

Unless you have full custody and placement, then you can just move away. Most of us don't have that option, so you're stuck in dealing with them.

I'd explain to your ex that you don't appreciate the harassing comments, and maybe he'll put an end to them. If not, then keep going to the police. It'll piss your ex off, but what else can you do?
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Dating a guy who knew I was a single mother!
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:34:31 PM
A lot of people are going to have issues with dating someone that is a parent. Especially if you put your kids first. It's rough. Most single men I know are used to sleeping as long as they want. Going to be late, and getting up early are situations where your now ex probably asked himself if it was worth it...

I know that's a really horrible thing, but it happens all the time. Most of my former friends hardly ever call me anymore to go out or do anything, because I have my daughter all the time.

It makes dating really hard. It takes someone really mature and who knows what they want. I'd highly recommend from now on, so you don't feel used, not to get intimate with anyone until they've proven to you that they are truly ready to deal with your situation.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Expectations from prospective partners
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:30:30 PM
I don't know... I think my standards have gone up since I have a little girl. You can never be too careful of who you involve in your child's life.

As far as men thinking that they're doing you a favor? Well... That's their problem. I wouldn't put up with it if I were you.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How to approach racial differences with a inquisitive toddler
Posted: 1/24/2008 5:27:53 PM
Why don't you tell her that they're just really tan, and that's it?

Of if you're somewhat religious... Grab a coloring book. Color people different colors, and tell her God just gave them a different color.

Wizard of Oz is another good one... They're a "horse of a different color" so to speak.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Guys I Need Your Perspective
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:23:21 PM
That's horrible. I think you have to be honest with the people that you are "seeing" so they know what's going on. It's not right to lead anyone on like that.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 724 (view)
 
Child support... how much??
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:14:57 PM
Well it varies state to state. Some states make you pay up to, and I do mean UP TO 30% of your monthly earnings. All depends on the state, the conditions of the custody, etc., etc.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
need Help on a subject.
Posted: 1/23/2008 12:12:48 PM
That's great news. I'm glad last night worked out for you. My daughter and I have our nightly routines, and morning ones as well. At night we check the water pressure in the apartment we live in. (I'm the maintenance person.) We try to read a book, she's still a bit too young yet, then we rock until she falls asleep. In the morning, it's usually bottle, and play. We roll around on the floor. It's great.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 61 (view)
 
high sex drive, higher chance of cheating?
Posted: 1/23/2008 11:46:17 AM
I've only dated one woman with a sex drive even remotely close to mine, and she cheated. I'm not saying that everyone with a high sex drive is a cheater. After all, everyone has control over their actions.

Self control and self restraint. Does she have them? If so, I wouldn't worry so much. If not, I'd start to wonder.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Experience with creative, and adventure sex
Posted: 1/23/2008 11:43:31 AM
Public sex is a real turn on. The chance of being caught, when someone actually watches that just happens to be walking by, etc.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 66 (view)
 
about this term...booty call??
Posted: 1/23/2008 11:42:04 AM
1. Is there any mutual respect in such a situation? In most cases yes. It's usually pretty discreet to the point where you meet, have sex, and go your separate ways.
2. How do those involved feel about their "booty" partner having other relationships? Some people are not in a relationship, and don't have time for one, and that's when the "booty call" is at it's best. Others that are in relationships... I wouldn't know. Maybe cheating husband, boyfriend, wife, or girlfriend. Their reasoning behind cheating... You'd have to ask them.
3. Are you "safe"? Can you count on this person to be d/d free? I am safe, and whether you can count on the other person being safe... Use a condom. Ask your potential "booty call" to get tested, and show you the results before you commit to it.
4. What do you do...call "so & so" and say I need it now.. Absolutely correct. Call, text message, email... Anything. Then you two arrange to meet either house, public place, etc.
5. Why am I surprised to see that several people I have read in the forums, looking for a real relationship, will admit to having a "booty-call " partner? Well.. When time is something you don't have, it's hard to start a relationship with little to no time at all. Most people that want relationships have the time to invest in to them. The ones that don't have the time? Who would want to date someone who's ALWAYS busy?
6. Okay, where do I find one?...not serious about that, but .... Simple. Start talking to people. Whether it be a simple email, simple questions, small talk, etc. Then when you feel close enough to that person, just ask. Most men that I know would not turn one down unless there was not a mutual attraction.

I get so annoyed at the people here whining about only having 2 or 3 dates in the last year..
.....you continue, ...please

Any other questions, just message me.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
 
How much do you tell your friends about your sex life?
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:42:01 PM
Guys talk about sex with their buddies just as much as women do in my opinion. Subjects range from when, where, how long, how good, etc, etc. Mostly just bragging rights though... Guys usually don't ask other guys for sex advice unless they're not getting any at all.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
would you stop seeing someone soley based on sexual experiences early in a relationship
Posted: 1/22/2008 3:40:06 PM
I would say yes. It's when the sex stops all together when there is a problem.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
need Help on a subject.
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:08:06 PM
I would get in to a routine if you have the time... Read him a bedtime story, and be there when he gets up in the morning. Make him some breakfast, not just cereal. If you get in to a routine where it's just the "two" of you... Things should settle down.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 311 (view)
 
Why don't tall men choose to date tall women?
Posted: 1/22/2008 2:01:40 PM
Many guys probably feel intimidated by a woman who is taller than they are. I think it's pretty superficial, and if you met someone that wasn't... You'd be out on a date with them. Some people consider short women more attractive... It's all about perspective.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Why are the young people on here?
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:48:12 PM
Well... I'm here because I'm a full time student, I work two jobs, and I have a daughter that's about to have her first birthday. I don't have time to go out socially like I used to. Bars are boring, and I don't like coming home smelling like I rolled around in an ash tray.

So... I'm here.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
boys, I'd love some insight....
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:42:33 PM
Why would you even be interested in someone that smokes pot? Not only is that illegal, but what it does to you over time is not good. If he's an adult, still smoking pot, when do you think he's going to grow up?

His behavior already should be another scary sign showing you that it's obviously not going to work out.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 536 (view)
 
full-time single dads
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:37:02 PM
Single dad right here... Very proud single dad too. My daughter is amazing.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 1949 (view)
 
do men actually exist that date women with kids??
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:33:58 PM
I think the problem lies with being put in second place behind the kids. Women that I have dated have not liked the fact that I will always put my daughter first. It takes a very selfless person to understand what single parents go through, and to "put up" with always being in second place. It's not a very good feeling being in "second," and it takes a special person to do that.

When I dated someone with a son, I had a hard time dealing with it. Now that I'm a single father, I find that as soon as I start to get to know a woman... They lose all interest when they find out that I have a daughter full time.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Angry replies upon discovery of a sex site profile...
Posted: 1/22/2008 1:20:13 PM
You know... At least you replied to them. Being honest with them about how you feel should have been good enough.
 primalfury
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Sex at someone else's house...
Posted: 1/21/2008 12:37:24 PM
I don't find anything wrong with having sex at someone else's house as long as you clean up after yourself. Sometimes the thrill of having sex in a taboo spot is a real turn on. Public sex can be very fun too.
 
Show ALL Forums