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readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

The 'I LOVE YOU' Bomb... Posted: 10/2/2009 1:38:29 PM
I would think my next move as a guy would be to say "Well, then why are you going out with me?" Cuz I would know why I am going out with her.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

celibacy in late life Posted: 8/28/2009 3:45:23 AM
Who really believes that a man would rather "think about new tools" than go on a date? I have a question...a serious one for catsmeoww (whom I respect) and others.....What does "abstaining from sex" have to do with "finding yourself"? In times of not having a partner I am way too frustrated to "find myself"......I don't even want to be around myself! I will take sex over finding myself every day!

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 143 (view)

Did you think life would be like this at 50? Posted: 8/26/2009 4:22:22 PM
I did not expect to be this alone......but really, I am at fault. Kind of sad. But I adjust to it. Can't wait till I can retire though. And having no one else to support is a good thing.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

celibacy in late life Posted: 8/26/2009 4:12:28 PM
Okay, you asked.................. Because we may die real soon. That is why. And I have not had enough!!!!! A.S. is.....yes, you could! I mean, won't we be in depends soon enough? To me cherishing celibacy is like cherishing poverty and bad health!

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 119 (view)

If we are all all that why are we alone? Posted: 8/26/2009 3:51:32 AM
Maybe we all love ourselves too much.......or maybe we are afraid of being happy with someone else.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

What do you do in this situation.. Curious what people think Posted: 8/26/2009 3:48:35 AM
You are hereby ordered to stop liking her right now! Poor guy who winds up with her one day.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 230 (view)

Sexless marriages/relationships.....go figure? Posted: 8/26/2009 3:43:29 AM
Ya know, even if the equipment were to stop working, there still is a working mouth and hands!!!!! Sorry to be so gross, but come on already! It is just selfishness, plain and simple whether you are male or female! Or had your mouth sewn shut or your hands lost in an accident.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Ugly Vaginas? what would stop you from being intimate when you see it Posted: 8/9/2009 5:38:45 AM
im not a huge fan of a big frilly beef curtain You mean, like a cubed steak? LAY OFF THE PVSSY! OMG, closertou, you always make me laugh!!! You did the right thing with your daughter. I can say that I once had a g/f with an extradinarily gorgeous, ummm, orchid. Strangely enough, she had a low sex drive. Correlation?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

First sexual encounter with a new mate Posted: 8/9/2009 5:27:52 AM
As a general policy, I won't have sex with any woman that won't talk about it. This is the most unbelievable quote of the day! Dude, your membership in the Man Club is suspended for ten days!

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 144 (view)

What do you think? Is this Selfishness or Not Settling? Posted: 8/8/2009 7:33:38 PM
I'm not under any cloud of "what shall I do with my life?"..............But those who know me, knew all along that I would never give a rat's ass what any of you said, I'd do as I pleased. GSB, one thing.....you state that everything you said is fact......it seems so completely out of character for you to allow yourself to be treated as poorly as you have by the 32 year old guy you now have in your life. That story about last Christmas shows uncalled for behavior on his part.....and now it is seven and a half months later and you STILL HAVE NOT REMOVED HIM FROM YOUR LIFE? Or have you, and I missed that part? This thread is so long......that is a genuine question. You state that the sex with him is not of interest to you, he has been in jail, he is a mooch and he has been on bad behavior with you. Are you sure you are doing what pleases you by not ending it? That there isn't some cloud of confusion over things? You know, it is all right to admit some indecisiveness at times. It is not a sign of weakness, it is a part of being human.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

can someone help me with my soon to be hubby Posted: 8/8/2009 3:18:50 PM
The "pregnancy" to this point is just a theory of posters, OP did NOT say that. OP, he is displaying signs of anger, which I can only assume is about getting married. His not telling anyone of the upcoming marriage must be painful and I feel badly for that. I would advise definitly do not marry and even go separate ways...do you always want to be this unhappy?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Why do some men think we'll believe anything? Posted: 8/7/2009 3:35:06 PM
Why they did not call? Why they were late? Why they did not bring flowers? Why they were in jail five years ago? Dates are trying to impress you, they often embellish the truth.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

wake up call Posted: 8/7/2009 3:30:54 PM
Did you just say he had taken his wife to dinner? He is married? Even assuming you meant "ex-wife" I can't believe you put up with this as long as you have. Have you actually ended it?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

PAST LOVE Posted: 8/7/2009 3:18:05 PM
The "why" for me always has to do with when I see no possibility of a relationship anywhere on the horizon. I think of one lady I loved.....If only she hadn't dumped me I would not be lonely, etc. I think it happens on the nights of feeling lonely and hopeless.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

**Men I Need Your Honest Opinion(Please&Thank You:) Posted: 8/7/2009 3:07:43 PM
message 15....that is the most insensitive, sick post I have read here. OP, like Mahogany and Juliet both mentioned, I can't imagine you being over the grieving period yet....especially since you are so active in your life. I know that it feels easier being busy, but grief is a work in progress and if you try to work around it, no progress is made. Monitor yourself to know how much you can and can not handle. Do you really want to meet someone who might not call back when he said he would or tries to score on the first date.....that stuff is tough enough in average times, you don't really need that now, do you?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

What do you think? Is this Selfishness or Not Settling? Posted: 8/6/2009 4:33:22 PM
GSB, as rune3 mentioned the man you chose to marry was not the man you divorced. You really have chosen only one weak man. After years of abstinence(see, I keep telling everyone that is a bad idea) the cougar in you came out. And you made a lousy choice. But what choice do you have? You are not in the thriving hot culture spots such as NY or LA. And you are, for better or worse, unique. You require an energetic, sharp man to keep up with you. You certainly were less selfish in breaking up with him than he was throughout the relationship. I know some of your posts can be harsh, but I have always seen you as a "tough love" kind of person. Trying to shake some sense into people which is a good thing sometimes. My guess is since you don't want to move out of state, you would be best off trying to find someone to stimulate your mind and forcing him to get off the couch and not to take naps.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

The Love of My Life ......married with incurable cancer Posted: 8/5/2009 6:47:56 PM
Karen, maybe no one knows about you, his brothers, sisters, etc and he would not want his legacy with them to be that of an unfaithful spouse, no matter how much of a "witch" she is. I know that is painful to read, I don't mean it to be.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

How far should you go once it gets to the bedroom? Posted: 8/5/2009 6:05:30 PM
Since everyone talks about test driving a car before buying it, the analogy would go like this......I would suppose that after the first experience, I would understand how all the standard features work and what they have to offer. With each ride in the future, I would be checking out the options. But I would expect the woman to show me the level of comfort and style she gets me to where I am going the very first night. I had better get to the body shop. My paint is starting to fade. And my tailpipe shakes and rattles.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Apart from POF forum, who do you turn to for relationship therapy? Posted: 8/5/2009 1:58:42 PM
I go to the local Friendly's reataurant and get the five scoop Jim Dandy sundae. Calories are my therapy.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Can Somone Tell Me What is Happening??? Posted: 8/5/2009 1:51:56 PM
My first impression is that he is having a hard time making the transistion from masturbating in front of a computer to real life sex.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Will You Survive The Global (panic) Depression ? Posted: 8/4/2009 6:51:26 PM
It may be more than a financial crisis. It could be a food crisis as well. Yes, being in foreign monies, gold or land could help. Or could not. Civil unrest would lead to death and destruction. Or none of this could come to pass. It could just be a long slide into quasi-poverty for most people. Now, if you could borrow lots of money and buy land, gold, etc......when the dollar crashes you could pay off the debt with cheap dollars.....do you have that much faith in it crashing to do that?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 379 (view)

Why Is It Women Don't Seem To Know How To ROMANCE A Man? Posted: 8/4/2009 6:34:59 PM
So women think that the guy won't appreciate it, so they won't even try. Romance is dead.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

What would you do if your daughter was being abused by her boyfriend? Posted: 8/4/2009 6:27:24 PM
If I had a daughter and she was being abused by a guy? No problemo. I'd have a "talk" with the guy. If he ever laid a finger on her again...he would be very sorry. Sorry, Wyatt, but I would skip that whole scenario and insist to my DAUGHTER that she leave. I don't feel like giving him another chance. I would not be interested in him at all, and that would include if he was the father of my grandchildren. In fact, more so if there were grandchildren. One man said he is taking martial arts training because he gets into fights in the neighborhood. WHY NOT MOVE OUT OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD? I am not trying to be funny, I am serious......that is as bad as a woman staying with an abuser. It is obvious that the neighborhood sucks, leave it! And to the fathers saying they would kill the guy, great, by the time you get sentenced, your daughter will be shacking up with yet another abuser. Get your daughter out and get her help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Need advice for my sister.... Posted: 8/4/2009 1:33:50 PM
msg 37 Motown cowgirl got as close to what I am feeling as any responce here. OP, I looked up your profile to see what state you were in, California, lots of people, I would be fixing her up with others, but I am a busybody. Why would she want to marry this guy? I agree with posters that say marriage is just a goal to her, and love has been forgotten. My daughter dates a guy I have come to dislike. When she starts to complain, I always listen carefully. When she finishes, I always ask, "What is it you like about this guy again?" Always silence. One day, she will understand the silence enough to dump him. When you sister goes on about it, you should ask the same thing.....she is truly doing this to herself.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Are all women nuts?/Where are all the good ones at? Posted: 8/4/2009 4:46:18 AM
Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.... or fukketh it down with her p%$$y! Sorry OP but look at the bright side. You are not rushing into a third marriage with the women you meet now who are acting crazy. Jessica and Lori are sexy names. You might want to look for women named Madge, Bea, Gerty, Sally, Wanda..... in my bed with a civilian You had separate beds? Would you have felt better if it was an army buddy? Okay, seriously, what the others said. You are a hard working guy with morals and standards and maybe you are a bit serious (military/security can do that) seeking a woman in an age group where they might be thinking kids or already have some. Don't get involved with any woman who finds it impossible to express herself to you, find one who can talk the quiet, serious talk, who isn't girl's just wanna have fun material......have patience, one good thing is that guys your age OVERLOOK these good women, keep your eyes out for one and you shall find.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Words To Make You Smile Posted: 8/3/2009 6:41:36 PM
toonice you will feel that way again you are young and like quotes and poetry and music so for sure, you will love again

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

(Acceptable) Insidious Insults and Double Standards Posted: 8/3/2009 6:35:52 PM
I think I called someone a moron once. But I know the person was not truly mentally incapacitated, it is just he or she should know better, or not advance a destructive idea, etc. In short, I don't connect the word with the mentally disabled. I connect it with people who are not thinking rationally, for whatever reason. And they are usually posting in a belligerent manner. OP, your point is well made and I do see it.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

men looking to date someone with money Posted: 8/3/2009 3:55:38 PM
and the world won't change. So what can a person do? Look for the red flags and believe that you are good enough that you should not need to "buy" someone to spend time with you. I am sure that if the OP knew what the man was capable of, she would not have introduced the two people. BTW, OP, off target, off theme, but your profile was a bit hard to read. I mean, I am 200 pounds and a bit sensitive about it, not quite "pregnant" but even if I was 180, that was tough to read without feeling a bit attacked.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Butterfly flew away Posted: 8/2/2009 4:43:29 PM
OP, sorry you lost the one you love. But in honest evaluation, it sounds as if you were on pins and needles the whole time, that you never relaxed and enjoyed it. Maybe one day she will give it another chance. Have you learned how to approach it differently?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

It was my fault, but I want him back. Posted: 8/2/2009 4:31:55 PM
we went to my exs house that we haven't actually got along with for like a year, we went there to get drunk Another thing I don't get, Stacey.....you are not getting along for a year and you go there to drink? As another poster said, you need to step back, get your head together and your boyfriend will appreciate that more than anything....but it is a lot of work.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

He Doesnt Have Alot of Time Anymore Posted: 8/2/2009 5:32:48 AM
As you said, six months is long enough to know it is growing and should continue to grow......and yet it is not.....you are right to be concerned. Also, it is not unreasonable to want to be "somewhat of a priority" so don't feel bad about that.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Is being faithful a thing of the past? Posted: 8/2/2009 5:26:06 AM
If you're not happy try to fix the relationship, or simply end it and move on without hurting your partner. Oh sure. That does not hurt AT ALL!!!!! Why do people think that when someones leaves because they want sex with someone else, it is noble and painless?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

Is being faithful a thing of the past? Posted: 8/2/2009 5:18:17 AM
These other jerks aren't worth the STD's that will hopefully fester and help you learn a lesson. HOPEFULLY FESTER? There you have it folks, the Christian loving thought of the day!!!! "I am so wonderful and anyone who has sex should DIE A MISERABLE , PAINFUL AND LONELY DEATH!" That last statement I just made up....no one said that, just implied it. A plague upon everyone who lives in a way I don't want them to!

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

if u don't love me why not leave me why stay and hurt me Posted: 8/2/2009 4:39:58 AM
OP, what are you "missing" when yousize these guys up? There must be SOME red flags that you are overlooking or ignoring. Maybe you need to be more critical and strict in the beginning in regards to how you assess them? I really hate saying that because I adore trusting souls but it sounds as if you need to watch them more closely in the beginning.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Forgiveness Posted: 8/1/2009 7:26:22 PM
I hope that I do not stray from your question and I hope my answer helps. I find it impossible to forgive someone who still has the potential to hurt me. If a friend or relative brings that person back into my life, or closer to my life, increasing the chances of being hurt by said person.....I see no choice but to protect myself by keeping them both away from me.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

It was my fault, but I want him back. Posted: 8/1/2009 7:15:49 PM
OP, I don't really know what to say about this. But I want to tell you that I read your profile and the first thing you say is that you are not very happy with your life right now. You are just 18 years old and can do so many things, including going to school. Apparently, you are a caregiver for your Mom? Do you think that not having a positive direction is leading you to do things such as make a pass at your ex? Or feel neglected cause your current boyfriend is going to school? I think a good honest look at yourself could help point you in a direction that will make you happier.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Contempt of the voters.......... Posted: 8/1/2009 6:50:57 PM
Would this be a good time to bring up that two thirds of Americans want to bring the troops home? I would say the the failure to do that is truly "contempt of the voters."

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Abstinent dating, does it exist anymore? Posted: 8/1/2009 6:41:32 PM
Yup. It exists. It is called friends. OP, put on your profile that sex is not that important to you. I guarantee thousands of emails within weeks.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

What would you do? Posted: 8/1/2009 6:12:42 PM
ewwww....maybe next time he can use a straw........... You wanna know why guys like having sex with big girls? Cuz we can take a d!ck without breaking in half!!! Well thats what I have always heard anyways. You heard correctly. It really is true. And for the record, one time my ex g/f had to go to the doctor to remove an "embedded" condom. It really can happen.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Should I take a Chance? Posted: 8/1/2009 2:57:50 PM
Guys, she said they had broken up before she started talking to the guy. I really think the girlfriend is overreacting.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Reconciliation motivated by money? Posted: 8/1/2009 2:22:45 PM
Financially, if there is equity in the house, don't you think the two of you may be better off by selling it? It probably is too big for just him, and downsizing may be in order. A 401k means maybe, just maybe, a person can retire some day. I am guessing that by having a work truck, he does physical stuff, and he may be realizing that he can't go on forever. You mention that you are not a material person but that he overspends......not good stuff in a marriage. And unlikely to change whether or not you reconcile. Here is my suggestion....keep his half of the 401K in a separate account when you get it. Then try to reconcile......after the divorce. Give him time to prove that he has changed. Get the love back for an extended period before you think about making it official again.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Should I take a Chance? Posted: 8/1/2009 2:05:42 PM
I am curious....did you not know him until she started with him? Did they meet on line, then she introduced him to you? If they only saw each other once, there is a good chance they had not had sex. If you really think this is the guy for you, go for it. It is not as is you were a bridesmaid who stole the groom! And definitely keep seeing him. I mean, it is like breaking two eggs in a pan, you can't put them back together again! I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHE CALLED YOUR MOTHER!!!! Wah! Bootyboop stole my boyfriend who I saw ONE TIME! Wah! Make her stop!

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

My Grandmother and Me Posted: 8/1/2009 1:58:02 PM
First, I have to think that the good the grandmother is doing for grandaughter and great grandson FAR FAR FAR outweighs any "ruining" of the baby. Secondly, how many times do young children, after being scolded by parents, run to the grandparents, looking for the unconditional love and forgiveness? So I agree with good witch beth / post 13.......they are bonding, in a different way than mother and son bond, and it is a good thing........much better than following a book.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Pornography... How prevalent is it's usage? Posted: 7/31/2009 4:59:43 AM
LuvsLaughs, I am taking every thing you say at face value. Your ex made a bad choice. The self- gratifying world of porn over a real live person who wanted her needs met as well, by him. That is a true addict. And where porn is damaging. I also think that if one is hooked on porn that specializes in, say, having sex with drunk or sleeping women, it says something about the inner personality that at the very least would make a real relationship difficult. Porn can be fun. But it can also be an escape world where guys spend too much time, to the detriment of enjoying real life.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Pornography... How prevalent is it's usage? Posted: 7/30/2009 7:45:59 PM
I would guarantee that the AVERAGE guy who has a steady sexual partner/girlfriend/wife engages in less of these activities than the AVERAGE guy who doesn't. Keep in mind that a sexual encounter with a wife or girlfriend is much more complete and satisfying than a porn or strip joint experience. So just because a porn addict goes back over and over to "feed the hunger".....the hunger is not really satisfied. That does not mean he is "more into sex"....it just means that he is never content with the depth of the experience. Are there any guys who have no need or interest in this garbage? one woman's trash is another man's treasure Think about the advantage you have being a woman.......you could go out any night you want, and pick up a guy if you felt the need to. Guys can't do that.....no matter what the bragging ones say..........Porn is accessible and has zero rejection rates! You don't want these sex crazed guys roaming the streets, do you?

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Define committed relationship after 60 Posted: 7/30/2009 7:24:44 PM
bwana, read your post three times, excellent points and to all the posters especially Ms. Taken, We can't really shake the gut feeling of reverting to what we are told a committed relationship entails (during our childhood years) I know that, for me, when it comes to defining relationships, I am very clumsy when I try to think outside the box, or color outside the lines. The concept of what is a loving relationship was taught to me with strict guidelines, including things we should NEVER do and things we should ALWAYS do. And even though I don't want to, I seem to keep falling back on those guidelines! Being open minded is something I pride myself on, but apparently give myself too much credit for because on this subject I struggle to dump my pre-conceived notions. Margo, I picked age 60 because the people here on POF seem to feel more liberal about this subject the closer they get to 60.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Define committed relationship after 60 Posted: 7/30/2009 4:37:25 PM
Forum filly, there is a big part of me that wants what you have and want. I don't know if I could do the twice a week thing even if it is committed, knowing that it is the desired end result. I would certainly TRY it if it was that or nothing with someone I cared about.....I don't know if it would be enough. And as I said, a lot of seniors and near seniors want their own place, and I don't know how "official" it would feel.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Define "committed relationship" after 60 Posted: 7/30/2009 2:34:35 PM
I am not too far from that, actually. In threads with younger people, it is all about marriage, living together, dump the cheaters, etc, etc, etc. But reading this thread, things seem different. A lot of people over 45 tremble at the mere thought of marriage, and more and more, I see people say that they don't even want to live with anyone anymore, but they are open to a "committed relationship." This is where I get confused. When young, this is dating, with co-habitation or marriage and kids as a possible goal....but for seniors who want to stay independent, THIS IS IT. Thus my question.....or series of questions. 1) What if one person is unable to have sex? If the most special thing he or she does is a hug goodnight, does hugging someone else goodnight constitute "cheating?" Or taking a friend of the opposite sex to dinner....is it "cheating" because that should be YOUR territory? 2) If there is sexual activity, how do you discern that you are not in a FWB instead of a committed relationship? Especially if you only see each other once every three days...remember, you are probably both retired with time to kill. No one is going to say, ummmm, Mabel, you do realize we are just friends with benefits, right? 3) Would anybody consider themselves in a committed relationship if they only saw the other twice a week when both are retired and live close by each other? Knowing you won't ever live together? I just see FWB.

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 78 (view)

Relationship talk shows - Dr.Phil, Oprah Posted: 7/30/2009 2:06:06 PM
A good psychologist allows the patient to discover his own inner thoughts and reasons that are behind his behavior....Dr. Phil has one hour so basically he has to TELL them what he thinks is going on and that just can not be effective. But for drama.........

readyornot57

Joined: 1/19/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Unemployed and lost home... Posted: 7/30/2009 4:30:01 AM
Over and over, people write that people in the freefall of financial disaster should not date. I would look at it as a diversion. Would someone really want to think about their situation 24/7? You can't apply for a job at 9PM.

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