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 Author Thread: Sometimes hot, sometimes cold. Always confusing
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Sometimes hot, sometimes cold. Always confusing
Posted: 5/23/2010 7:50:08 AM
Personally I'm not going to be an option for anyone! The balls in her court, leave it there and move on.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
He said he loves me... but.....
Posted: 5/23/2010 7:39:13 AM
Just knock the friggin cat on its A$$.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I got a question about my relationships.
Posted: 5/16/2010 8:21:05 AM
Because she can't find anyone else to put up with her crap. End of story.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Won't quit 'for me'
Posted: 5/12/2010 11:46:22 AM
OK, I understand some people cannot tolerate smoking and its side effects. The only question I have is why, if you knew he smoked while you were dating, and he knew about your distaste and ill effects it had on you, why did you get married before resolving the issue?
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 131 (view)
 
When your SO has a lot less money than you do
Posted: 5/8/2010 1:26:12 PM
What a crock of crap! No man with any self esteem is going to paint a house, build a deck ect. for a simple POA or a free meal!

You can read this type of thing in post after post in the forums....most people doing the accusing are the ones doing the nasty little deeds themselves!

Rarebird76...you're spot on......anytime a man does something out of love, kindness, friendship etc. for a woman there just has to be an "alterior motive"! After all, we're men! We simply couldn't be honest and sincere. Nope, after all they've got the golden puswha and are the only game in town...think not!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 90 (view)
 
When your SO has a lot less money than you do
Posted: 5/6/2010 5:02:45 AM
Thanks for the lenghty post. I appologize for calling you selfish.

It really sounds like it's going to work out for the two of you, forget the scepticism, because there are no guarantees in life.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
When your SO has a lot less money than you do
Posted: 5/5/2010 3:26:42 PM
Very well put "five-marie".

I've just gotta ask the OP this! What's gonna happen if you ditch this guy who makes half the money you do, but contributes in other ways for a guy who makes twice the money you do? Are you going to take care of the lawn, paint the house, build the deck, provide some groceries? I doubt it!

Top that off with, the guy has an apartment he's paying rent on (which would be money freed) if "Love" prevailed and you accepted him as is! Then he could possibly contribute more $$$ to the relationship!

Once again OP, life is NOT always equal, but equality comes from different types of contributions! And again, you sound like a very immature selfish person!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Talking about Experience
Posted: 5/5/2010 12:25:44 PM
Sometimes it's called TMI, to much information, and it's best just to leave some things in the past!

I firmly believe that if two people decide to form a relationship, they need to start from square one and move forward, leaving the past in the past. I haven't found anyone, myself included that can change their past.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Explain this one to me, if you can
Posted: 5/4/2010 12:14:24 PM
One word...in the dictionary spelled "inaction"...defined as; Absense of action; idleness.
That's 50 cents for the grammar lesson!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
When your SO has a lot less money than you do
Posted: 5/4/2010 12:06:15 PM
First, I'd be curious how they got themselves into that situation?

Without any explanation here's what I've read. He has his own apartment, he buys food ect., he does things for you (works on the house and does the yard work) building this or that!

A few things. We don't live in a perfect world, meaning inevitably one party generally makes more than the other! Another thing, you have a daughter living with you, does she eat some of the groceries he buys, watch the "big screen" you bought? If the answer is yes to either of those what's the difference? Because if you're looking for a 50/50 financial relationship...he's already got you beat! Think about it, you make twice as much as he does...you have a daughter, he's in essence feeding your daughter. Try dividing it into thirds, you're responsible for two thirds, he's responsible for one third! That's somewhat of a harsh reality...but none the less...reality!

You actually come across a little selfish sounding at least to me!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Explain this one to me, if you can
Posted: 5/4/2010 11:20:39 AM
I'm just throwing this out there for you. Your definition of abuse is way to limited. Abuse isn't just defined as physical or verbal! As an example abuse can be caused by an action...or inaction. Abuse generally causes some sort of pain, and I sense you are feeling some, not physical, but mental. The pain you're feeling is caused by an inaction! The inability for your partner to give!

As strange as it seems some people have not learned how an inaction can cause another person pain, or maybe they do. Giving is something they for one reason or another just don't get. And receiving is something they truely haven't come to enjoy. I wouldn't tag all people like that as selfish, more of a character flaw.....something is missing. Yet the rest of their character seems perfect.

As I see it you have only two choices. Explain it to him and see positive results... or leave the relationship!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
I'd like for us to be friends...
Posted: 5/1/2010 10:17:14 AM
I didn't come onto dating sites to accumulate friends, I have enough of those, both male and female. So if I'm interested enough to meet someone I'm damn sure looking for something that includes more than friendship! No...not FWB's......not interested in that either.

One of the most important things to me is open and honest communications. Hell, I've rejected as well as being rejected...just life! But I sure as hell don't want/need a friend that starts out with deception, or fear!

Don't worry about it, just say sure...then go about your business without ever calling them.......works both ways, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be their ticket to a free meal or anything else at me expense!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
my gf and her umm.. addiction...
Posted: 5/1/2010 9:36:29 AM
I just broke off a relationship with a wonderful woman because she has a gambling addiciton. To bad, but I just can't put up with that and think of a future together.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
What are you looking for?
Posted: 4/29/2010 8:33:51 AM
When it comes to analyzing a question like this, I call it "reduction to the ridiculous".

One of the most comonly used questions on the face of this earth and here we have it! People trying to figure out what someone is really asking us. It's called communication people, opening a dialoque! Does there have to be some hidden agenda? How the hell else are two people going to find out if their on the same page in life?
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Can we build from this?
Posted: 4/24/2010 9:39:06 AM
Here's the cold truth Buddy...you're either not mature enough or your ego is to damn big for a relationship! What if she did tell you...what comes next? is his bigger than mine or was he a better lover?

How about you, were you a saint while you were split?
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
How Do People Change?
Posted: 3/25/2010 12:11:21 PM
Last time I felt that ugly monster..in myself was over 43 years ago. The reason I felt it was well founded, my ex wife couldn't leave her past boyfriends alone!

I didn't like what it was doing to me, and how it was making me feel. I asked her for a divorce! Then I started looking at me, and getting to know myself. I didn't go through any therapy, all though it might have helped. But actually getting to know myself is what did it for me. The words "low self esteem" and "insecurity" were words unknown to me. But I did start developing those things, I'd actually even call it maturing. And along with those came self confidence. Its all worked for me.

Rock kinda hit it on the head! A person has to acknowledge and accept they have a problem. Then it's up to them to want to change. Some people need therapy and hopefully their open enough to accept it and change. Others, it would take a life time, and they may never change.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Do men really jump too quickly?
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:15:19 PM
Alot of people have hit the nail on the head as far as individual time.

Before I started dating I first spoke with my daughter, sister, brother and brother in law.....everyone gave me their blessings. But I do think some people (in fact I know) thought I was dating fairly soon. And later my daughter said some of her friends thought so...but what really surprised me was when she said at first she too thought so, but then realized I'd been married (with a woman) all my adult life.

Sure I could have sat around the house drinking and crying, but I chose to get on with life. Even my wife and I discussed it before she died....and I knew damn good and well she wouldn't want me to stay where I had been. So at least for me it was better for everyone, myself included to get on with it!

I think the best thing "friends" can do is either shut up or support their "friends".
It's to damn easy to judge others....until you're in their shoes!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Tell me what you think...
Posted: 3/18/2010 8:52:53 PM
I think you should find someone who considers you a priority!!!! Dump her!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
She asked my why I broke up with my last girlfriend.
Posted: 3/17/2010 1:30:26 PM
Main thing is to become comfortable within your own skin!

Things that at one time or another seem sooooo important to us at the time can become almost null and void at another time!

No one can pick and choose the right/ wrong person for us, we all have our own preferences as majyk1 pointed out. And everyone can be some what "picky" on various things.

Don't compare...look at each person as an individual....but that doesn't mean you have to change your preferences to suit another. All successful relationships are some what based on concessions and adjustments.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Curious about the Love word.
Posted: 3/17/2010 11:16:06 AM
If I feel it I have no problem saying it! I don't fear control...because I'm the only one who controls me. I don't fear committment because if I/we want committment what's to fear.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I have a great looking girl but............
Posted: 3/16/2010 9:35:54 AM
And I suppose you're built like a Greek God! Turn her lose....and go buy a blow up doll, then you won't have to worry about her....or you!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Is it normal to have some insecurities?
Posted: 3/15/2010 11:57:33 AM
Very well put pdx3. Everone feels insecure at some point in their lives......so it's normal to that degree, where it becomes abnormal is when the insecurities take control of you!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Committed??? I'm confused..
Posted: 3/13/2010 12:06:23 PM
Do you just want to be an option...or a priority? Personally I'm not going to be anyones option!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
she can't outrun her past
Posted: 3/13/2010 12:03:02 PM
Best thing for you is to just move on. "I want to be there for her, and I'm going to continue to be,". OK, let me ask you this, do you think that's emottionally healthy for you? and whoose going to be there for you?

Buddy, I understand what you're saying, and that's what nice people want to do, but at the same time it's not fair to you, or anyone else...not even her! Let it go.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 104 (view)
 
players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/10/2010 10:02:56 PM
Hey, I'm alot older now and "playing" isn't my game, but at one time I was very good at it!

I want to clue you in on something. Very few men are born and become natural players...they have to learn how! And you know what? It's become a very lucrative business! Yep, I can't and won't mention any names in a public forum. But after my wife died and I decided to jump into the "dating game" again, I realized I'd forgoten, or had just been out of it for to long. So, I started talking to people...even my own sister...they clued me in again, but something was missing. Then I ran accross someone who actually trains men! Yep, sells CD's, holds work classes etc. And you know what?...he, and some of his people...very successful at what they've done, which also includes psychologist etc. teach men how to "Play".

Another reference you mentioned is "time", forget it! A player has his/her own time frame! If you think I'm full of it...well, read some more of these forums, you'll find some like these "What did I do wrong? He/She just disappeared!" Or, "Why did He/She just end it?"

Closure never comes! He/She will take you right to the alter (to get what they want), but don't wait...a "player" will never show!

Here's a final confession......I met someone....and I was "PLAYING HER"....she fell for it! Problem was....I fell for her! Married her, and we were married for almost 38 yrs. before she died! I loved her very much...and believe me, I wish I'd have skipped all the shet, and went to the main page! I regret it alot...that is my actions...that's why I'd never "play" anyone again!

If you'd like you can email me directly....then I'll tell you the name, and you can see for yourself!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
she can't outrun her past
Posted: 3/10/2010 8:46:46 PM
First thing. Personally I wouldn't date anyone that was separated...conclude your business. Why? Because there's always the off chance of that call...sorry, but me and my significant other are going to try and work it out!

The other thing! Yeah, been there done that with someone who hasn't/or isn't capable of dealing/healing from past relationships! Forget it! Move on, because you can't fix anyone other than yourself! And it can take quite awhile for someone in counseling to accept their past and move on...and sometimes they never can.


Either move on or accept the fact you're going to be on a roller coaster ride! And it ain't fun!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 100 (view)
 
players: do they ever focus on one person?
Posted: 3/10/2010 9:39:52 AM
Here's a hint....you won't know you've been played by a player until it's over.

Typically a male player will indulge in sex...even if it's not his main objective to help him achieve his goal. Whereas a female player (at least the good ones) generally won't give up the goods (sex).

kailania, to answer part of your question, a male player will use emails to hone his own skills, without any intention of meeting the individual. I suppose the same could be said of a female player.

And there's no comparison when it comes down to cheater vs. player!

To answer the OP, of course a player will focus on one person. As a matter of fact they can be extremely focused, or you might even use the word obsessed! They have a goal, just like an Olympic athlete, and they'll do just about anything to reach that platform.

There's nothing better (or worse) than a seasoned player. They practice, drill and rehearse. For almost any objection you can think of they have a canned response! And typically you'll believe it...because down deep you want to!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Question asked + brutally honest response = feelings hurt: who's at fault?
Posted: 3/9/2010 8:35:44 PM
Yep, if the only answer to your question is not the answer you want....consider it "brutal". The truth often hurts!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Do you think putting Widow/Widower on your profile makes you a target for being taken advantage of?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:47:02 PM
Oh if we were all so perfect or absolutely immune to vulnerability wouldn't it be a perfect world? Well, ask any widow or widower if they were'nt warned about being vulnerable for at least a year after their loss. In fact it even filters in the business world. As a R.E. Agent for 22 years one thing I learned was to counsil potential clients that had suffered the loss of a spouse not to make any important decisions such as selling their home in the first year! Yet there's agents out there that would jump on the chance! Same with everything in life...always someone waiting to take advantage!

Sure, we can all observe others relationships that go south for one reason or another...hell, I was divorced once, so I have some what of a clue. But most people don't go into a relationship or marriage based on whats happened to others, no...no, that ain't gonna happen to me! The fact is we all have something called trust, and yes, whether it's big or small, something else called EGO! Then those famous words pop out "Oh, how could have this happened to me?"

Mind you, what I'm about to say is not directed at any or all divorcees, but a general thought. One person from that marriage is thinking at some point or another...glad that's over, glad I'm not sleeping with that person anymore, why'd I put up with that crap for so long. But ask any happily married widow/widower the same question! And that's what makes us more vulnerable. We miss sleeping with our spouses, we miss all those other things, and once we've healded from the loss we'd like to have a life and someone to share it with! Unfortunately some don't heal entirely before they realize...it was just to soon! And yes, the dating scene and all it entails has changed dramtically! Along with the change comes the scum bags that want part of that life Ins. policy, want your home, want anything and everything they can get! And they'll do anything they can to get it!

Sorry, I really don't mean to seem so negative, but reality is what it is, and that's my response to the OP. We just need to be careful, fully heal and think with a clear mind! That's next to impossible for a person still going through the grieving process. The amount of time required is different from person to person, but at some point most are going to step into the water and get their feet wet. I wish them all well, but like anything, some will enjoy and swim in deeper waters, some will be scared and get out of the water....just not ready for it yet! And worse yet...some will drown.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Do you think putting Widow/Widower on your profile makes you a target for being taken advantage of?
Posted: 3/7/2010 6:35:52 AM
rain, if only that were true! Ever hear the term "Love is blind"? While you and I, and the rest of us are sleeping someone's always awake trying to figure out how to get something from someone else! Think "Bernie Madoff" and I could list hundreds more.

Unfortunately that's where the term "vulnerable" comes from. Some of us (myself included) are just to damn trusting, or think "won't happen to me".

Alot of couples worked hard to build a future (home (s), nice retirements, financially secure), and suddendly find themselves alone... believe me, there are those out there that just want whatever they can take, or want what we have!

There's quite a difference between knowing and not knowing. If you know your being taken advantagee of well...then what you say is true.....but if your heart gets in front of your mind....look out!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Do you think putting Widow/Widower on your profile makes you a target for being taken advantage of?
Posted: 3/7/2010 5:48:56 AM
Speaking from experience ( a widower), you bet! And it's one helleva big target!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Can someone explain her thinking ?
Posted: 3/7/2010 5:41:25 AM
First, my advice is to quit trying it figure it out! That in itself will drive you up a wall!

What you're asking for is something called "closure", an explanation of what went wrong. Well, she's the only one who can give that to you, she may or maynot. All we can do is guess or speculate.

Realize a few things first. Some people can't or aren't able to committ to a LTR, (not emotionally available). Then there are those who will do just about anything for "temporary" companionship...yes, anything! While they seek the "perfect person".

She could have things from her past that need to be addressed...by a professional.

See what I mean...just to many things to speculate on.

I know it's hard, but it's time for you to move on!

One last thing. What you consider "nothing serious" or a small thing could be a major thing to her, all in an individuals perception!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Permanently Damaged
Posted: 3/3/2010 12:10:36 PM
Insecurity is a pretty broad brush, which includes fear and jealousy, they go hand in hand. Simply by the definitions. Most often you'll find an insecure person is a jealous person, vice versa. I'm not sure "control" comes into play with an insecure person, simply because they can't even "control" their own emotions.

I'm not a jealous person at all, but there have been times in my life I didn't really care for the interactions between one of the two parties. For instance you may at one time or another see your SO bantering back and forth with the opposite sex. You know your SO is just having fun/joking, but at the same time you might get the feeling like the other party is beginning to take it seriously (not good). Does discussing it equal jealousy or an insecurity? I don't think so.

Personally I couldn't put up with a jealous person, or an insecure person to the extreme.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Getting older -- blurry vision, night blindness
Posted: 2/12/2010 6:30:44 PM
cleofirst, you look good with or without my glasses!

People, men and women, you need to remember what your mother said about masturbating (sp), "keep doing that and you'll go blind", and the typical childs response, "can I do it until I wear glasses?"
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Being falsely accused of cheating...How did it make you feel?
Posted: 2/11/2010 7:19:01 PM
Yeah, I dated a woman for a year and a half, it was an on again off again thing. I don't really think she'll ever figure out why, because I don't believe she'll ever see a therapist!

At any rate she sends me this email"Kudos to you", "you just broke up with me so you could date other women!", "But kudos to me cause I figured it out."

Nothing could have been further from the truth! I never did, and I never would have!
I don't know wether I hurt more or pissed off more! Oh well, she had a way of opening her mouth and letting crap roll out! That's actually what the breakups were all about.

A little insight on this is, she was married to this guy, he cheated on her.....and she said it took 10 years to get over it! Sad! what a waste of life! Guess she'll never trust another man.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Should I Tell Her Friend That She Needs Therapy
Posted: 2/9/2010 5:00:12 PM
All I can tell you from my experience is ....run dude....run! Yeah, the sex might have been great, but just wait til she stalks you or does something worse!

And most people that need help aren't listening to you or their friends!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
 
is he not interested anymore????
Posted: 2/9/2010 4:46:19 PM
I hope this guy has enough sense to run like hell!!!!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
is he not interested anymore????
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:40:54 PM
You sound a little desparate to me! Guy sounds like he's got his head on his shoulders and is doing, and saying all the right things...but you, sound like you'd like it to go faster....desparately! At least that's my take.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Have I overeacted????????????
Posted: 2/8/2010 3:37:12 PM
You ever hear of "Gut Instincts"? follow that, and get the hell away from this guy! Anyone who thinks they'd like to kill someone..for whatever reason has never been to war! This guy sounds "sicko". And it's not anything a normal person "kids" about or thinks about!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/5/2010 9:30:25 AM
Always makes me wonder how someone can describe a human function as gender specific! As far as I've seen women are no different than men when it all boils down to what we want out of life and a relationship! Which is, in my simple mind the best WE can have! There's always going to be people out there just looking for a POA and a good time, while others want something more secure in a relationship.

If it were so easy to find all the pieces that put the puzzle together none of us would even be here! Yes, we need to learn how to make some concessions and adjustments. We also need to learn how to leave past relationships in the past and live for the future!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Need some help as I dont know what to make of it
Posted: 2/5/2010 8:57:45 AM
Better to put your mind to work on you, rather than "what was". Don't get me wrong, most people want some type of closure (reason for the breakup), but you'll just drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out, until/and if she's ever going to offer an explanation!

You've got some priorities to take care of, 1) the children, plan some quality time with them, there's alot of inexpensive or free things you can do...and for Gods sake, don't quiz them or bring them into you and your exes problems. 2) You might try net working similar businesses as yours for work, who knows, you may even make some friends from doing that, or better yet...get a job.

If you don't already, try excercising, it causes the brain to release endorphines and helps with your mental outlook.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Contact wit the ex
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:10:06 AM
Nothing ventured....nothing gained!

There's never a one sided argument though, and it seems like YOU are concerned about HER cooling down! What about you? And do you really need a pagan holiday to tell someone you love them?
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is this considered a legal question?
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:59:43 AM
Quit spending energy on something so trivial. Let it go...otherwise she'll always have some type of control over you! My Mom used to say "Things can be replaced...people can't". Good thing to live by.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 63 (view)
 
'widowed Men' ...
Posted: 12/16/2009 10:22:27 AM
Well I don't have a shrine, infact I have very little left that hasn't been either disposed of or packed away for my daughter (her and her mother were extremely close). But I do have two small photos (3X3) in the familyroom entertainment center. I hardly ever look at them, but they'll remain there for my daughters sake....if someone can't live with that...well, there's the door.

And if someone feels so insecure because I'm a widower and loved my wife...well, there's the door! I couldn't careless about any womans ex husband (divorcees), as long as they don't hassle me, or interfere with a relationship.

Actually a couple of women have said they were "jealous" because of the relationship I had with my wife (a damn good one). Maybe that was a poor choice of words (on their part), but WTF? Would they rather I had a poor marriage?

Heaven forbid we should ever really discuss our deceased spouses......but it sure seems OK for someone to talk about their "cheating" spouse!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Money issues
Posted: 12/5/2009 12:48:12 PM
She could try...but all lenders look at the same debt to income ratios to arrive at either a. loan approval. b. loan approval with conditions (probably her case). c. loan denied.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
dating a buddies ex
Posted: 12/5/2009 12:45:27 PM
Just the term "buddy" seems to imply "friend". And whoever said it depends on how the breakup went...hit the nail on the head. Personally, I wouldn't.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Money issues
Posted: 12/5/2009 12:17:08 PM
Well it's not BS BDJ, the lenders today are going over every application with a fine tooth comb. I've been in the R.E business for over 20 years...and getting a loan today is tough for the best of them. My daughter and her boyfriend just were denied in the 11th hour...different story, but in this business you hear it every day now.

It's the same here in the U.S., the lender has already verified her funds, and more than likely her savings as well as her last 2 months bank statements. So, if she borrows it....it will be another debt....debt to income ratios will change...and the lender may deny the loan based on that. Either it's a gift..or a no go!

BTW....considering todays low interest rates....just over 4 percent, why wouldn't you buy a house (within your means)? We all have to live somewhere and either pay rent (money down the toilet)...or invest in our future....home prices will eventually come back, maybe not real fast.....but at least we can get some great buys coupled with low interest rates...it won't last forever!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 226 (view)
 
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 11/26/2009 9:14:52 AM
Mines not a wedding ban, it's a really nice looking ring. Funny thing is when I first started dating I continued to wear it, and no one ever mentioned a thing about it? Well, later on I dated another woman for some time, and I mentioned it to her. She suggested I have it re-sized for my little finger (which I did) and it would probably never become an issue with anyone.It hasn't so far.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 55 (view)
 
told myself I would never do it
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:05:20 PM
You don't know what the word "Friend" even means. But hey, breakup the marriage.......You two sleeze bags deserve each other...and when she cheats on your azz you'll at least have a little knowledge of what it feels like!
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 136 (view)
 
Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:11:10 AM
" I will toy with the relationship as long as I care to and then when I tire of it or it proves to be cumbersome, I will end it".

This whole post rings with something called HYPOCRISY!!!!!! At least to me your above statement says you two deserve each other............you've found your match!
 
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