I have zero experience with older men. chat & forums.

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lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

I have zero experience with older men. Posted: 11/17/2009 8:30:16 AM
Over analyzing....just go with the flow! He might have meant "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was"!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 137 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/17/2009 8:11:10 AM
" I will toy with the relationship as long as I care to and then when I tire of it or it proves to be cumbersome, I will end it". This whole post rings with something called HYPOCRISY!!!!!! At least to me your above statement says you two deserve each other............you've found your match!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 150 (view)

Too much baggage to start a new relationship ??? Posted: 11/13/2009 10:22:13 AM
Congrats Cynfull44, yep, there's alot of people out there with so much baggage they''ll never be able to maintain a relationship with anyone.......unless they learn how to deal with it...some do, some don't. Good Luck

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Saying I love you for the first time Posted: 11/11/2009 12:18:01 PM
I've always felt when it was the right time for you........but one little experience has made me more reluctant to say it now......especially early on. And I say it only when I mean it.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

Second chances? Posted: 11/11/2009 10:05:14 AM
I'm with It'sMargo on this. Under the right circumstances everyone deserves a second chance! People just don't seem like they want to take the time and work on relationships....just to easy to give up and move on.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 110 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/10/2009 2:31:21 PM
No Cindy, I didn't mean it that way, sorry if it came across like that. What I meant was this; Most men/women are looking for a meaningful relationship, however, there are those who only want a sexual relationship,nothing more! And that's alright if BOTH parties feel the same. In my opinion a woman doesn't have to "Bare All" for a man to know she has a pair! But by doing so....especially to the world if you will, she presents herself as promiscous. Obviously many others do too, simply because the photos on her profile have been mentioned many times....by both sexes. Honestly, if it doesn't bother her it sure as hell doesn't bother me...I only expressed my opinion because of her post and her responses. And as far as developing a "modicum of self awareness", I'll agree with "modicum". As long as I've been on these forums......I'd have to say, after reading many of her posts, perhaps it's time to try something different. Back to the OP.......everyone has agreed (almost everyone) time to move on..the "Other shoe" dropped along time ago!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 238 (view)

Shaving or trimming your privates at our age? Posted: 11/10/2009 9:25:21 AM
My preference is a well trimmed bush.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 102 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/10/2009 8:12:37 AM
OK, to each his/her own! But do you want to keep attracting the same kind of loosers you've been attracting? Because that's exactly what those photos will attract.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Do you ever think about how much time you have left? Posted: 11/9/2009 2:15:32 PM
Yeah, I think about them, at 65 probably a helleva lot more than you do! I lost my wife almost 3 years ago...so, I really do know how short it can be. But I'll say this.....I'd rather pass up 100 good ones than to get stuck with a bad one and spend the rest of my days in misery trying to/or expecting them to change.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 50 (view)

What do you make of this? Is this BPD? Posted: 11/9/2009 1:57:28 PM
After reading your initial post....I would have said move on, then you posted a couple more times, giving a different perspective on this guy. Sounds like he's taking a pretty good hit from the economy...not all that unusual today, and perhaps he has a helleva lot on his mind now. My advice...give it a little time.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/9/2009 1:25:14 PM
Can't believe I'm seeing a 60 year old women flonting those pictures and responding like she is!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

My life has been turned upside down! Posted: 11/5/2009 6:23:18 PM
What's the point of pointing fingers as to whose to blame? Last I saw it took two to produce a child! Whether the guy wants out doesn't matter to anyone but the OP, he should take care of his responsibilities to help financially raise this child, either voluntarily or by court order. It's pretty easy for others to recommend adoption.......but it's a hard choice for the individual.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop Posted: 11/5/2009 8:42:13 AM
All I can say is WOW I think the logging boot fell some time ago!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Why do women over analyze old relationships ? Posted: 11/5/2009 8:31:33 AM
I think it's important for us to look at past relationships and spend some time thinking about what we contributed to it, and taking our own responsibilities into account. If we don't take a look at history we could be doomed to repeat it! Both men and women.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Second (or Third or. . . ) Time Around Posted: 10/27/2009 12:56:36 PM
I guess I'm someone who had one of those special marriages, I'm not saying it didn't take work, but the amount of work involved was way less than the enjoyment we both had. It lasted almost 38 years until she died. Sounds like at least some of you are getting it figured out....others I feel sorry for. And those are the ones who have had multiple failures (marriages) and still haven't figured out the common denominator! Still blaming their pickers and not taking any responsibility for their part! I've heard it time and time again....."I just made bad choices in men!" That's one of the biggest copout I've heard, and the easiest thing to say! If a therapist gave you that answer...I'd ask for my money back! I call BS on anyone whose had 4 or more failed marriages who didn't at least contribute 50% to the failures.......some people should take a good hard look at themselves rather than blame everyone else for the failures!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Caught between that rock and hard place Posted: 10/27/2009 9:33:15 AM
Live your dream, or live in resentment...the choice is yours!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Dating and Depression Posted: 10/26/2009 8:30:19 AM
I'll try to offer a little different perspective! First, think of yourself as "lucky", crazy huh? well, at least you know you have a problem, and you're dealing with it the best you can at this time in your life. Think about the others, those walking through life in denial, believing everyone else has a problem accept them! Those who should be on medication or in therapy or both, but refuse to accept it! Kudos to you man! Someone offered me this little saying, so I'll pass it along! "Those who care won't matter, but those who matter won't care!" Think about that....and let it set in. When you meet the person whoose right for you they'll except the whole package, and love you for who and what you are.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

That dreaded L word... Posted: 10/26/2009 8:10:09 AM
Nobody will have to explain the difference when you find real love....you'll know!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

I would like a few opinions on my situation - advice on how to proceed Posted: 10/26/2009 8:05:54 AM
If you enjoy a roller coaster of emotions stick with it.....just remember a couple things! You can't fix anyone but yourself. In some respects I've been down that same path, and I'll tell you this....the final breakup when/not if, but when it happens will be much more painful than walking away now! And your children will be much more affected too!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Discussions about past relationships Posted: 10/26/2009 7:58:12 AM
Really no point in asking for details about past relationships....you're only going to hear one side of it! I only have one question.......how many times have you been married? Multiple failed marriages (4 or more) usually point to only one common denominator!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

curious to hear how you see things, looking for insight... Posted: 10/24/2009 10:28:17 AM
What's that word? Oh yeah...co-dependency! You've both been in bad relationships...you're both in a comfort zone.....but yours is changing! Me, I'd probably give it a little more time, if things didn't start changing, well, I'd have a talk.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Why.. Posted: 10/22/2009 6:50:18 PM
Don't worry about that shit..love isn't based on looks alone!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Curbing your relationships Posted: 10/22/2009 11:47:32 AM
Guess that's why they call us a "Disposable Society". Seems like past experiences, bad ones that is are responsible for at least one more..or more. Woman I've been dating is on some medication...Zoloff (sp), she doesn't like it but I tell her she's lucky, at least she knows she has a problem and is taking medication for it! In other words dealing with it. To many people running around on dating sites with unfinished business...we call baggage. I have a friend...she's absolutely beautiful, 6 ft tall Barbie, and even though she told me she has deep, deep feeling for me, that's all I'll ever let it be..friendship, she has way to many past problems and until she deals with them she'll never be happy with anyone. Hell, I don't even know why she has those type of feelings toward me...we've never done anything but talk. Edit; There is a difference between experiences and baggage. With experiences we should learn and grow! Baggage means the individuals ability to learn and grow is stunted...their stuck in a rut, and can't or haven't let it go.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Intuition vs Paranoia? Posted: 10/21/2009 10:03:48 AM
Listening to ones "gut instincts" is healthy, paranoia is not, its fear and insecurities! AKA as "baggage", deal with it! Or else you'll never find true happiness and will ultimately destroy most, if any relationships you enter. Best to not judge others from past experiences, listen to their words and observe their actions.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

And what was your part in it? Posted: 10/20/2009 4:29:56 PM
You know Gwendolyn2009, isn't that what it's all about, "So shoot me if my post didn't live up to your judgments and standards"? Honestly, why the hell should we have to live up to someone elses standards, or have them judge us? And why the hell do we? As Rodney King said " Can't we all just get along?" Nope, we all seem to expect something better or judge people! Instead of Rodneys quote, I'd just like to ask why can't we just accept people for who they are? or leave them the hell alone! Or, be left alone?

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

And what was your part in it? Posted: 10/20/2009 9:08:54 AM
Ah feck, baring the soul time! First mistake I made...not reading these forums before I started dating! I didn't know what "Red Flags" were, didn't know what "baggage" meant, and thought everyone my age had most of life figured out. Second mistake I made....being told and convinced people have to fight to make a relationship work!....never again! I'm still working on myself, I'm quite finicky about my home and sometimes get upset when people seem to think it's my job to pickup after them or cleanup after them! I have a strong tendency to over think and analyze to much simply because of my business back round...not a terrific thing to do when it comes to relationships! Although I know "Pride" can sometimes keep us from accomplishing the true goals we seek.....it's hard for me to set it as side. Humility is something I'm not used to, but sure as hell learning. Well, if I keep going there won't be enough space for others! I'm sure as hell not as perfect as I thought I was when I entered the dating world, and to learn your (my weaknesses/faults) is certainly humbling.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Loss of trust Posted: 10/13/2009 9:48:02 AM
When the trust is gone it'll always be an uphill battle to rebuild it under the best of circumstances...which you don't have. Let it go and move on! Rarely do these long distance relationships work out.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Not sure what I should do next ... Posted: 10/12/2009 10:08:11 AM
Real friends don't fight over things like this...they simply wish each other luck! Sounds to me like this "friend" is jealous of you since this isn't the first time. And like another poster said, or asked...is she gay?

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

How do men suddenly withdraw emotionally? Posted: 10/9/2009 6:54:14 AM
Sounds like some women really know us men! On the other hand he could just be taking you for granted, which is not a good thing either.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

The 'I LOVE YOU' Bomb... Posted: 10/1/2009 7:10:37 AM
I'd really like to know what qualifies a person to say something like "no less than six months". Experience? Most of us have that, mine says if you've been burned, you lack trust! Which is often considered "jaded". Seems like everything is so over analyzed here!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

OCD a deal breaker for you? Posted: 9/29/2009 12:58:33 PM
I've always been some what neat and tidy, even some of my friends say I'm finicky, but not to bad. I did date a woman for sometime that was really OCD. Her house was meticulous, even her car, didn't bother me! So it wasn't a deal breaker. Not quite sure panick attacks are the same as anxiety attacks, but I did have some of the latter after my wife died. I took anxiety medication until I got it under control, 2-3 months, and it was over.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

How do you get over it all? Posted: 9/22/2009 7:06:10 PM
Anger is a total waste of energy, and if you're still angry...well, he still has control over you! Is that what you want? I'd suggest therapy.....its been 4 years since you divorced him, if you're still angry it's your problem...not his or hers, and regardless what you think of her that's his problem.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Opinion wanted Posted: 9/22/2009 8:22:10 AM
Read this carefully: Those that care won't matter...those that matter won't care! My wife had MS for 10 years, she took weekly injections that helped stabilize the condition. And I'll say this, there are a helleva lot things worse than MS.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

To give or not to give your phone number to women on this site... Posted: 9/22/2009 8:11:57 AM
I've never asked for a womans phone number, but sometimes after a few emails they'll offer it. But I also understand a womans security in not offering it, so after a few emails I've offered mine. Thats worked for me. I have a firm belief people should talk...live before meeting, you can't edit or delete a live conversation and you can learn an aweful lot from it. It's also nice to hear a live voice. Haven't ran into any refusals or wierd situtations. But there were some I'd have not met had I talked with them before hand, such as I've heard at a first meet a couple times "Oh Rick, I just re-read your profile before I left to meet you, didn't notice you smoked, and that's a deal breaker for me". That leaves people in an awkward situtation which should/could have been avoided simply by talking before meeting.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Why did I do this? Posted: 9/21/2009 8:29:36 AM
Two lonely people and a bottle of booze. Now it seems like you both have regrets. Pretty typical isn't it.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

Is appropriate to sleep with your ex to get closure? Posted: 9/19/2009 8:30:21 AM
How the hell does sleeping with an ex equate to closure? No, it's not appropriate...and there is no closure!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

mixed messages Posted: 9/18/2009 10:00:58 PM
I think I'd kinda back away, give him a little time to see if he initiates contact, if he does and asks you why...explain it to him then. I'd never settle for being an option.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

is it him or me?? Posted: 9/18/2009 9:56:14 PM
Jealousy and insecurity are not very pretty!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

When is it just part of dating and when is it a blow off? Posted: 9/17/2009 3:33:48 PM
I guess I can say honestly I was guilty of that! The lady I was going with at the time said "hey, if you tell me you're going to call...call, otherwise I won't sit around waiting". Man I felt guilty.....never missed one after that. Try it.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 447 (view)

Justifying Cheating? Posted: 9/17/2009 2:45:33 PM
Good gawd, how can someone seriously ask for justification to cheating? And if you're married and wish for an open relationship, why not just end the marriage, because in the long run someone is going to get either A) get hurt! or B) so involved with another the marriage will probably end worse.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

A Dangerous Perspective Posted: 9/17/2009 1:25:16 PM
This sounds likes another thread "justification for cheating". There is no justification for that! If the relationship has hit that level it's best to be honest and part ways!

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Does the opinion of others .... Posted: 9/17/2009 10:53:18 AM
I've listened to opinions from family and friends before...with an open mind, realizing their somewhat biased because they think it's their job to protect you. I've also known alot of people who have gotten divorces and friends or family have all taken one side blaming it on the other....but no one knows what goes on beyond closed doors.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 111 (view)

Should I stay with him? Posted: 9/17/2009 10:27:51 AM
I can't believe what I read on the forums sometimes....do you know what the word "naive" means? Guys getting his cake and eating it too! Move on, let the looser go.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

arguments in a relationship...needed or not? Posted: 9/15/2009 1:33:18 PM
Loved what cookie22222 had to say! My wife and I were together/married for almost 40 years. We learned very early on about each other (our hot points)and how to handle disagreements. If we were having a disagreement we'd decided to put it on the back burner until the next day, always kiss goodnight and say "I Love you". First, you'd be surprised at what you remember about the next day, you maynot even remember what you were disagreeing about! Arguments? Nope, like cookie said, arguments usually include yelling ect. we never did that. No one wins in a situtation like that.....both parties loose! One thing that helped me was I learned very early on that when I'd fight...no one liked me, and I didn't even like myself...it was win at all costs. That was before I met my wife.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Why do people pester a person after dumping them? Posted: 9/15/2009 8:44:30 AM
Block, delete, end all communications! Get on with your life. Don't try to figure it out...it'll drive you just as nuts as she is.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

OH WOW Ive done it now Posted: 9/13/2009 11:09:29 AM
Don't worry about it.... Guyd42, that's BS, if you're to lazy to read someones profile whats that say about you?

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Don't know what is going on..... Posted: 9/12/2009 7:27:46 AM
Not only a little insecure, but a little selfish too! You know, he only has one mother....give the guy a little slack, or risk running him off.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Trying to make the shoe fit as we age Posted: 9/10/2009 12:52:04 PM
Although I love dogs I'm not really fond of cats...one cat OK, maybe, as long as I don't get cat hair all over me...nor do I like litter boxes. So a woman with more than one cat wouldn't be a good fit for me! Other than that relationships are all about balance, adjustments and concessions.

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 184 (view)

The real problem with relationships today. Posted: 9/9/2009 7:39:20 PM
How about theirs golfgirl?

lonesomerick

Joined: 1/23/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

contacting the ex. Posted: 9/9/2009 6:59:09 PM
You're either ; A. Kidding yourself as others have said. Or B. A friggin Drama queen that just wants to stir up some emotions. Either leave him alone...or go for it! Hope the hell he has enough sense to say...bye, bye! Love poems, happy birthday....but I don't want him back......... get it!

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