online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

     
Posted In Forum:
Home   login   MyForums  
Show ALL Forums  
 
 Author Thread: OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL NIGHT MAY 30
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL NIGHT MAY 30
Posted: 4/29/2009 2:33:34 PM
Finally a night of pool at Dooly's that I'll be able to make it to. Was in Sudbury the last three times that this event was held.

Does anyone know if Dave planned to host another Tailgators evening coming up?

I suppose I can help out if needed. Been to enough of these that I know how they run.

See you all there.

Sign up people!
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Obama warms up the Capital
Posted: 2/19/2009 9:25:01 PM
Here's the thing. The mainstream media only tells you what you want to hear. Although yes, the articles are from one site, much of it is backed up by actual documents, research, and analysis. Don't take my word for it, or any of the articles for that fact. Take any one of those that you may disagree with. Look on Google for details about it to see whether there is any factual truth about it, or whether there is evidence to debunk it. Don't just dismiss it because you don't agree with it. If the articles are merely lies, no need to be concerned, but what if they could possibly be true?

Please, go back and view Obama's speeches before he was president, and now his speeches after. How much has changed? Iraq withdrawl immediately, now after 23 months with "residual forces" remaining.

Close down Gitmo?... now they will consider closing down gitmo, but keeping other camps open. A month as president and he's going back on major campaign statements?

Bills before congress would be available on websites for 5 days for people to read, open transparency? The latest bailout bill was too important and had to be rushed through with no one being able to read what was in it otherwise the US would suffer a major depression ? That he'd sign it the moment it'd pass? Did you know that after congress passed it, the pres went on holidays instead of signing it waiting 5 days before signing it? If he was concerned about a depression, why did he wait 5 days?

I only offered articles for those who may want to read them to act as a starting point. You can choose to agree or disagree with them, but look at Obama's track record so far.

Question all sources of information you receive, because there is usually another side of the story.

Edit: It should be noted that the website is among those of Alex Jones. http://prisonplanet.com
http://infowars.com

This is not merely slanted one-sided against Obama. Alex Jones has been quite critical of Bush, and the ones that have come before him. He's been talking about these things for the past 15 years. There is a whole lot more to this subject in that I in no way have the space to go over. It would go into what some would consider conspiracy, but everything is based on declassified gov documents, witnesses, and mainstream news articles.

To really understand what is going on, you need to look at the wider picture, rather than the narrow view that is fed by the mainstream media.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Obama warms up the Capital
Posted: 2/19/2009 7:26:18 PM

In the month of black history on february 19/2009 there was light snow and it was wet and cold. Today Barack Obama arrived in the Capital of Canada. In my heart it was a beautiful day and I felt the sunshine warmth and joy seing Obama even though I was not at the parliament. Obama is of hope and change all around the world. It is a new beginning for all of us. Thank you Obama for such a wonderful day.


I really hope that you actually listen to what Obama is saying in his speeches, and what he said in his campaign. Please don't take my word on it, research things for yourself:

The following page includes links to every article listed below:

http://obamadeception.net/articles.html


ARTICLES ON OBAMA

Forced national service

Obama’s American Dream: Servitude
Obama Calls For National Civilian Stasi
Obama’s Mass Movement Gets a New Mission
“New Rules” for Obama’s National Civilian Security Force
Starbucks: “Are You In” Obama’s Civilian National Security Force?

Broken promises

Obama: Gitmo Likely Won’t Close Soon
Obama Doesn’t Plan to End Occupation of Iraq
Obama’s Pentagon: Bowing to the Masters of War?
The New Obama Administration: A Lot of “More of the Same”
Obama signs order to export 'torture'
Obama Breaks New Rule for Raytheon Lobbyist
Obama’s Intelligence Agenda: More of the Same from the “Change Administration”
Activist: Obama defense of FISA support a ’stiff arm’ to constitution
Alex Jones on Russia Today: Obama Inauguration

Banker agenda

Obama: Americans Will Accept Bankster Engineered Depression
Barack Obama: the Banker’s Choice
Americans Believe Obama Will Turn the Economy Around
Obama Prepares to Loot Social Security, Medicare
Obama’s Economic Foxes To Guard Financial Henhouse
Obama’s Treasury Candidates: Old Guard Of The Corporate Elite
Illuminati Bankers Seek “Revolution” by Economic Means
Obama’s Inauguration Has Been Financed Partially by Bailed-Out Wall Street Executives
Globalism

Obama Appoints Top Notch CFR, Bilderberg Members
Obama Offers Internationalist Vision
President Obama’s Rise Due to “Blue Blood” Ancestry or power of American Dream?
Obama picks president of Council on Foreign Relations to be Foreign Policy Advisor
Obama’s Energy Czar: Socialist Agent For World Government
Obama’s “Civilian National Security Force”
Obama Selects CFR Member Sanjay Gupta to be Surgeon General
Obama climate czar has socialist ties
Kissinger Again Shills Obama and the New World Order
Day One for the Global Savior Barack Obama
Obama and our Eugenical Future
Professor Griff of Public Enemy Says No to Obama and the New World Order
Obama Picks CFR Insider to Head Treasury
Obama Feigns Ignorance of CFR, NAU
Obama’s Neocon: The Curious Case of Richard Holbrooke
Hansen: Obama ‘has four years to save Earth’
Obama, the military and the threat of dictatorship
Obama’s New World Order plans revealed
Eugenics

Obama’s First Act: Taxpayer Money To Fund Abortions Of Black Babies

Pakistan

Obama Continues Pakistan Strike Policy
2 U.S. Airstrikes Offer a Concrete Sign of Obama’s Pakistan Policy

War agenda continues under Obama

Why Obama Is Wrong
Obama: No Comment on Gaza Slaughter
Obama Meets with Neocons
We can be fooled again
Obama administration warns public to expect rise in US casualties
Obama Taps Neocons to Run Middle East Policy
Destroying the Constitution

King Obama: House Considers Repealing 22nd Amendment
Obama AG Choice Advocated Censoring Internet
Proposed Law May Allow Obama AG Holder to “Ban Guns at Will”
News access issues concern those covering Obama
Obama Health Plan Poses Danger to American Freedoms
Obama’s Unconstitutional Agenda: Plan For A New World Order
Barack Obama: The Naked Emperor
Chief Justice John Roberts Meets with Obama in Private
Will Obama “Change” The Bush Police State Or Expand It?
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Alternatives to Norton
Posted: 2/6/2009 10:14:48 PM
In the past I've gotten by with just a router.

I'd occasionally install spyware and virus scanning software, but was extremely disappointed that I'd never find anything... and yeah I use windows.

If I've gotten anything it's because I downloaded or went to a site I should have not gone to.

I have Spybot, Adaware and EZ Armor installed, and the only time I get any notifications about anything is when I install something or make a change to the registry...

I wouldn't necessarily recommend apple as a virus-free option. The only thing that has kept Macs virus "free" is the OS being incompatible with windows virus combined with the small user base, but that has been growing, and so therefore makes it a better target. If I recall, when Apple ported over their Safari browser for Windows, security holes were found within HOURS.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Pool Party Tailgators Sports & Entertainment Ottawa,Westend,Friday December 12,.2008
Posted: 12/10/2008 7:36:21 PM
Would anyone happen to be coming from (or passing through) the Parkdale area on their way to Tailgators?

Seems with the OC Transpo strike, my only mode of transportation is now parked.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Pool Party Tailgators Sports & Entertainment Ottawa,Westend,Friday November 14,.2008
Posted: 10/24/2008 9:40:32 PM
Whether east end, or west end. Pool is pool, and the bus system is about the same. Although with that said, I only need to take the 176 to get there. Dooly's requires the 95/96/97 and the 114. I'll still go to both anyway.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL PARTY OCTOBER 25, 2008
Posted: 10/24/2008 9:22:57 PM
Less than 24 hours, and looking at the signup list, it looks like the ladies will be in high demand...

I still chuckle whenever I remember Beth rushing around the place yelling over the noise "I NEED A WOMAN"...

I'm pretty sure there were plenty guys there thinking the same thing

Anyway, I work tommorrow, but hopefully not too late.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL PARTY OCTOBER 25, 2008
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:57:12 PM
And quite entertaining chats at that...

at least at our part of the table.

Itching to get that cue out once again.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL PARTY OCTOBER 25, 2008
Posted: 10/8/2008 7:01:49 PM
It was finally good to get out the cue last time, and this one should be just as good.

Maybe this time the numbers will be a little more balanced
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 292 (view)
 
Do you see divorced people as damaged goods?
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:02:57 PM
I've never been married, but I see MYSELF as damaged goods

Whether someone has been divorced does not make them damaged. In fact, my ex from last year would be undamaged goods in your eyes, but she had so many issues.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Am I just broken???
Posted: 10/1/2008 12:03:44 PM
There are several ways to write a response to this sort of thread. I won't focus on any one specific response.

1. Yes, you are broken.

2. Your friends and family are crazy to try to push you back into the dating scene. Do they even know the problem here?

3. The women (or men) in your future shall not be punished for the sins of those who came before.

4. Yes, you can be fixed, but you have to know what actions to avoid to prevent yourself from simply being broken again.

5. Ask yourself why you want to date again? You have to know why you want to get back into the pond. You are afraid the next one will just be a repeat of the past. If you keep that thought in your mind, it shall happen. The next woman will either treat you like crap, or you'll treat her like crap. Break the cycle.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Have you ever dumped someone after three weeks? Why?
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:40:52 AM
She got emotionally attached faster than I, and she needed "more" from me, than I was capable of providing.

Apparently my emails were too "cold" and emotionless, but she ignored the emoticons and required the equivalent of body language in *email*.

We enjoyed our time together, but the stress from her nagging about having no "feeling" and "warmth" in my emails got to be too much.

As it is, I did tell her straight up exactly what it was that was wrong. She officially ended it by telling me to have a good life

One thing that bothered me, that I never revealed though was that I later learned that she lied about her age on her profile. She was 2 years older than she actually was (when she was creating her profile, her "friend" told her to go 10 years younger than her real age, but she instead went with 2 years younger). While this was such a minor issue, I couldn't really get the thought out of my head that if she could lie about that, what else might she lie about.

The age thing was not something that lead to the end of our time together.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Good man versus the man who actually GETS you
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:02:13 PM
This is the reason I'm not looking for a typical long term relationship.

I'm not sure when it disappeared, or if it will ever return, but I don't feel like I can really express my emotions nor am I capable of or desire to handle the emotions of the person I might call my partner.

That killed the last relationship I was involved in, and between then and now, prevented me from getting into another one.

I look at profiles, and while I may initially be interested, I cannot provide anything in the emotional department, so I simply say no.

Maybe some day I'll meet someone who reignites that fire. Until then, friendship is all I can offer.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Guys Who Post Long Term and Don't Mean It??????
Posted: 9/28/2008 5:32:16 PM
As many others have said, he very well may be looking for long term. You can't determine if he is lying about it even if he wants to date others, while dating you. Long Term being his goal. Eventually he wants to have a long term relationship, but he wants to make sure that the person he eventually decides to go long term with is the right choice.

In your particular situation, he still wants to date you, but hasn't come to the decision that you are the right choice for a long term relationship.

Looking for Long Term doesn't mean he's looking for exclusivity from the first person he meets.

You can either choose to stop dating him, or wait for him to decide that you are the right choice for long term.

Chances are though, depending on how long you've been dating, he might never choose you.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 134 (view)
 
A 1st for me; anyone had this happen?
Posted: 9/26/2008 3:26:38 PM

Hi Monique, yes sounds like a classic case of 'rubberbanding' as described in the mars/venus on a date book. Meaning that he has gotten close, and now feels the desire to pull away, establish that he is still independent and then decide if he wants to get close to you again.

Men are funny, on the one hand they want to be with a woman, but on the other, they still want their independence. Yes a balance of both is healthy because i'm sure you wouldn't want him clinging to you as well as you too have a life, work, family, friends etc. You did nothing wrong in my opinion. You sound like a very sweet considerate person and are not clingy at all.


I have to say that I have felt this plenty of times.

When we feel we need space, we end up creating that space. Some are better able to communicate that that is what it is, while others just disappear for a bit. This may not necessarily be done intentionally, we're not necessarily thinking it's important. That's just our thought process.

The typical result of this is after a drop in communication is that the other party becomes concerned about what's happening, and starts phoning, texting, emailing, and as a result invading our "space" and appearing clingy. What we don't realize though, is that our actions by reducing the level and frequency of communication directly contributes to what we consider clingy and needy behavior.

Once the "clingy" behavior starts, it tends to start pushing men away.

In the end it's all about communication.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The Ethics of Christmas
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:30:00 PM
My family has always celebrated the typical commercialization of christmas, but for the last 10 years or so, I have not followed it myself.

Several years ago, I simply avoided the gift-giving/exchange process altogether. When the process occurred the morning of December 25, I've tried staying awake as late as possible, and using it as an excuse to sleep late while everyone else is doing the gifts. When asked WHEN I'm going to open my gifts, I avoid the question. Christmas 04 I managed to avoid it by having to go into work. I woke up just in time for the dinner, and then out the door shortly after. The gifts followed me, and I was confronted as to why I had not opened them, but instead placed them into the storage room.

[pessimism]Christmas seems to be that time of year when people are feeling guilty about ignoring friends and family all year long, that they need to try to assuage their guilt by buying gifts, the only way some people know how to show that they care..

What better way to end the year guilt free (but loaded with debt), so that you can live another 11 months off in your own little world[/pessimism]

Last year I didn't fight the gift giving process. I did spend the time with my parents and grandparents which was what was important.

I do not celebrate Christmas, and I do not buy gifts for people just because it's expected of me to, or that it is that time of the year. I will utilize the commercialization of the holiday to get things I want at reduced prices.

When offered a gift, I will accept it, only because it is the polite thing to do. I would never run out to buy something for someone just because they gave me a gift and I had not got one for them beforehand.

I'm divided on the whole Santa issue. On the one hand it's about giving, but on the other hand, isn't it all about receiving? It's something mainly done for the kids. As I have no kids, and I'm only around my niece and nephew a couple times a year, I need not resolve that issue at this time. Sometime in the future though, I'll be faced with the situation I will probably have to research the real meaning of "Santa" and find a means to represent that.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Will I ever be able to trust and love again?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:15:50 PM
You're asking us if yuo will ever be able to trust and love again? We can't answer that. The only one is you.

I could tell you that YES, you will be able to trust and love, but if you're asking the question, you're not believing it yourself.

It is possible that he once loved you, or claimed to love you when he did not. Asking why he would do this doesn't get any answers. This is typical behavior for both men and women when they no longer love someone. Just because they once loved someone, doesn't mean they won't later on act like a jerk to them.

You need to take some time away from dating. It will really do you no good to be dating, since you're doing nothing more than pushing them away. If you do choose to continue to date during the healing period, you need to remember one thing:

The person you are dating should not be punished for the sins of the people who came before them.

If I was to write a set of "laws" for dating and relationships, that would be the first law. If you break that law, it should be you that is punished, and you will be, by driving what might've been a good person away.

I've read that after a relationship is over, you need a healing period before you should get back into dating. This is generally to work out any issues you've had, and ideally should allow you to be prepared to date again. Generally, this period is 6 months for every year you were involved, or half the time you were in the relationship spent healing. If you were together for about 5 years, you're looking at two and a half years once the relationship is over before you are ready to date again. If you date during this healing period, you generally risk having problems pop up that will prevent the healing process from continuing, and you simply make the same mistakes and the same problems you had before will pop up.

I'd say spend the next two years with yourself and your daughter. By this time in 2010 look at yourself and see if you're ready to date again. You might be looking back at this thread and wonder how you thought you might not be able to.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How do you kill your emotions?
Posted: 9/25/2008 2:15:06 PM
How I get over someone I was once involved with is the following.

Make a list of all the reasons they are not the right person for you, and all the reasons you should be so much happier that they are no longer in your life. Use multiple pages if need be.

If you can't fill a page, make stuff up... I've heard that's what women usually do


If that don't work, take a cue from this guy:


If that doesn't work, search PoF for Intimate Encounters and see who interests you

Not that I've ever done that before... though I've thought about it.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What things are too soon to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:45:19 AM
OP, so do you assume "Long Term" means a relationship after the first date, engagement after the second date, and marriage after the third date?

Dating vs Long Term? Mostly semantics.

I've seen profiles that list "friends" when their entire profile is all about looking for a long term relationship. Their thought process is that you have to become friends before you get involved. In theory if that was true, the Long Term and Dating categories need not exist.

People who put dating on their profile generally are looking to date one or more until they find the right person. They are not ruling out the potential for a long term relationship to happen, just that right now they are not going into this process with the intended goal of getting into a long term relationship. If it happens, it happens, but otherwise

That doesn't mean all people who list dating on their profile are players, that are not willing to commit.

I had someone apparently trying to tell me that according to my profile, I was looking for women to date, when my profile indicates something completely different. We had this circular conversation where she just didn't get it. I lost track of the number of times I wanted to hit my head against the wall... I can sense this guy of yours might've been feeling the same thing. You have this definition of what Dating means, and he has his own definition, and they are two different things.

With that said, while I may not be looking to date at the moment, if fate dropped someone I got along well with, and the groove was there, I reserve my right to start dating them if it was mutual.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
wanting to write to ex/girlfriend - your thoughts appreciated
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:53:30 PM
I have a similar situation, although some of the roles are switched around.

A year ago I was involved with someone. We were not right for each other, but we only found that out after.

For the most part, I ended the relationship, but she made the move to leave the situation we were in.

Over the last 10 months she's initiated bits of conversation, although usually when I'm not around. Only in the last month or so have we actually had a conversation.

She left thinking that I didn't know how a relationship was supposed to operate, because I was not responding to her manipulation and control.

In the end, she realized quite well that she was wrong, I was right, and she was simply repeating her mistakes, having gotten out of yet another bad relationship. She actually wanted to know from me why she was having these problems, and I didn't hold back.

10 months after the relationship was over, I finally re-added her as a friend on facebook. I certainly don't want her back. She would have to change so much about herself for that to remotely happen.

I would say to send the letter anyway. Writing but not sending it, might not resolve the issues you have, as sometimes you need the other person to hear/read what you have to say, even if they just ignore it. Then you can start the healing process.

I haven't found that simply writing the letter with no one to read it except yourself isn't a satisfactory way of getting over something. Otherwise, it'll take you quite a bit of time to get to a point where you're over it.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Men that have been single for a long time are looking for mostly intimate encounters!
Posted: 9/23/2008 5:17:04 PM
Wow, an OP who is actually reading the responses and asking questions to change what they've been doing. Most fire up the defensive weapons system and attach any that disagree with them


Anyway, you asked how you can stop making bad choices. Before we can really answer that, we need to know what choices you've specifically been making. Your thread assumes that these guys claim they are looking for LTR, when all they want is an IE.

Do you search for profiles and initiate first contact?

If Yes: Try to figure out what has been attracting you to these type of profiles, and see if any of these have any commonalities. You might find that they do, so try to look for something a little different than what might initially attract you.

If No: Maybe do a search on PoF and see who's out there.


For anyone who contacts you, do you look closely at and read thoroughly each person's profile, before deciding to respond or to reject them?

If Yes: Try to figure out what has been attracting you to these type of profiles, and see if any of these have any commonalities. You might find that they do, so try to look for something a little different than what might initially attract you.

If No: How about looking at a person's profile, and don't reject someone unless you can think up a couple reasons why they just aren't a suitable match. You might find that one that didn't get you "hot and heavy" at first glance, might have something that you've been missing.


The short version is look at the profiles that have most interested you, and figure out what quirks or qualities enticed you to choose them.

With that said, add more to your profile about you, and don't start every sentence with "I". As has been mentioned, chances are your profile is perfect for the players and serial daters. It provides from what I can tell a semi-attractive picture (the darkness is problematic), and is very short. Try adding more about yourself that the good men will read. Longer profiles tend to turn away people, and odds are those who might be genuinely interested, will make an effort to somewhat read the profile.

Some women have used a screening test in their profile. Buried within their profile is a line that says, to put some sort of code word in the email someone sends to them. This indicates that a person has actually read their profile before contacting them, rather than the serial dater mailing as many women as he can, without regard for what is in the profile to begin with.

Myself, when I bother to initiate first contact with someone, I try to mention a couple things from their profile to indicate I've taken the time to read what they've wrote.

Look back at all the messages you've received. How many guys really looking for IE's, bother to mention anything in your profile? How many guys did you reject that might've indicated that they actually read your profile? Even if you've deleted a message, you can always read messages you've sent and received in the last 30 days, via your Contact History in the Sent Messages page.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL NIGHT SEPTEMBER 27, 2008
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:30:39 PM
It should be noted that although Mau has trimmed down since those pics were taken, he was quite a big boy when I first got him in January. That "angle" shot of him hides *alot*

Beware the camera angle shots


10 years ago or so, I had a chat much like him, but he disappeared one winter when he was let outside. That cats brother, which my parents still have, although he's much slimmer and crankier, looks almost identical to Mau. It's like having my long lost cat after so many years. Interesting enough, Mau is about the same age or just a little bit older than my original orange tabby.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL NIGHT SEPTEMBER 27, 2008
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:15:46 PM
Dooly's isn't so bad when it comes to buses. The new 114 runs along a segment of the route of the old 84, and runs at 15 minute intervals up through to midnight. It and the 85 both connect onto the transitway at St. Laurent, so it's a quick jump over to Hurdman, or onto the 95.

O'briens on the other hand require you to walk out to Heron station, or down to bank and hope that the 111 or 1 haven't stopped running, as they did after midnight on New Year's Freakin Eve. I ended up having to freeze my @ss and walk down to Billings Bridge to grab the 97 home. Yea, so much for encouraging people to take the bus. How many people head home before midnight on a night like New Years eve. Yea, they extended hours on the transitway, but that'd only help if you trip relied on the transitway...
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:20:03 AM

Measureable by a miniscule portion of the female population that is not even a representative sample of this site let alone a nation or a county or something other than the dozen twits you encountered.


Survey companies typically use a sample size of a thousand or two to represent millions of people every day. These results are then used to form opinions on something. Exactly how is a couple thousand representative of a couple hundred million.

I'd agree his sample size is too small, he should contact another dozen women to get verify the first dozen

OP, while I have not experienced it myself, I very well can bet there are women out there who are only looking to date for the attention and a free ride. To disagree with it is to say no women out there have gone on a date for the attention and free ride.

To claim that someone is the constant is definitely lazy thinking. If they go into situations knowing someone is looking for a free ride, and they go along with it, they have no one to blame but themselves.

Unfortunately, nothing anyone ever says on here will spread beyond those who use the forums. A small percentage of PoF users use the forums, and even fewer of those will be within your sphere of influence. Only a miniscule number will choose to not date you because of something you said on the forums.

Yes, forum posts appear on your profile, but if you post enough, they can get buried, and only if you have a forum stalker will those comments matter.

Trust me, back before I started making comments on the forums that would be the effect of self-castrating my dating chances, I didn't get much attention. Now that I don't care if someone gets offended by what I say, I do get a smidge more attention.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
OTTAWA DOOLYS POOL NIGHT SEPTEMBER 27, 2008
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:09:51 AM
Well, I just might be able to attend one of these events. Don't have a job conflict, out of town event, or financial issues to prevent me from making it this time around...

The last (and first) event I went to was New Years Eve at O'Briens, seems so long ago...

Well, unless something comes, I'll be there.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 108 (view)
 
I am really starting to hate dating
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:36:46 PM
Well, seems I sent that message premature. So much for adding something to the post and forgetting to finish the thought...

That one paragraph should say:

"That was quite hilarious, though seems more like an exercise in creative writing, than an actual date. This story was probably likely embellished to get a rise out of the forum readers, and you can tell who took the bait. After all, saying that you're only doing something because you're horny is sure to get certain women coming out firing with as much ammo as they can muster."

It's almost semi-humorous to see it when it does happen. I think I'm going to plan to write something to be posted at or around the first day of April that on the surface will be completely outrageous, but base it somewhat on reality so at least it's not completely attention seeking.

Hmm, what components should it include...

-Sex
-Using others

Perfect.


Anyway, here's a for ya
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 107 (view)
 
I am really starting to hate dating
Posted: 9/20/2008 7:16:42 PM
Ah, so this is what I am missing by not dating. Where's the freakin' "relieved" emoticon.

Porkchop,

That was quite hilarious, though seems more like an exercise in creative writing, than an actual date. This story was probably likely embellished to get a rise out of the forum readers, and you can tell who took the bait. After all, saying that you're only doing something because you're horny

Anything that is said on the forums, usually stays on the forums. A small percentage of PoF users read the forums, and even far fewer will have read this post for it to even remotely affect his dating chances.

Rule #1 on the forums, ignore anyone who says that something you say on the forms has ruined your dating chances. It's only ruined your chances with them, but if they were that offended by it, I wouldn't want a chance with them anyway.

I know I wouldn't have made it to the vegan restaurant, unless I was particularly interested in them, but for a first date I would've asked for a compromise. I certainly wouldn't have had them order.

I did date someone who was partially vegan. They wouldn't eat red met, but at least chicken was an alternative, the only redeeming quality.

I would have most definitely asked her to turn off the noise (some people call it music), so that we could "talk".


Dude? Was she at least HOT
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why does there have to be a Type with men
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:31:24 PM
"Not my type" is code word for: there is not enough about you that interests me be or continue to be involved with you.

In other words,he just ain't interested in you.

Type in this context is a list of characteristics which you'd like a person to have (or not have) that would make you choose them over someone else. Some people have a lot of these characteristics on the list, while some may have very few.

A person who wants someone who can laugh and knows how to have fun wouldn't want to be with someone who never seems to smile, or takes joy in things that they do. In that way, that person ain't their type.

There may be no such thing as a type for you, if you have no characteristics that you use decide whether to be involved with someone. Would you just be with anyone who showed interest in you?

Your profile has quite a few restrictions on there. Clearly, if someone doesn't meet one of them, they aren't your type because you do not want to hear from them. Would you be willing to date someone who did drugs? If not, they aren't your type.

What if you were dating someone who only started doing drugs months after you got into a relationship. If you broke up with them, because they kept doing them, you're clearly indicating they are not your type.

Your profile shows that you have some basic criteria that must be met for you to allow them to email you.

In your specific case, he used a set of words to explain why he didn't want to date you anymore, and that he chose someone else because they offered more or something different. It doesn't really matter what those words were, just that you were dumped and that you don't like it.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
When do you go from divorced to being single again?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:05:27 PM
The answer to this question is dependent upon the context by which it is being referred to.

Technically, once you have the papers signed and the courts/government no longer considers you married, you are single. The reasons for this is that there are different tax rules for married and unmarried people.

When it comes to dating though, single has a whole other meaning. You could have the papers signed, but if your life still revolves around "that damn ex", you're not truly single. In the dating realm, you should only let go of the divorced label and claim the "single" status when you no longer carry around the baggage from the ex-spouse.

There are people who don't want to date someone who has been married and now divorced because they don't want to deal with the baggage that such past marriage may have brought. They want a fresh slate to work with, and really who doesn't. Who wants to be yelled at because something you do (even if completely innocent and harmless) triggers some emotional or physical reaction from the person you are with.

Single to me means that you come with no baggage...

Now all we need is a label for those who aren't involved in a relationship, but have the "marriage baggage" of broken relationships they are still carrying around. Maybe "Un-single".
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Should I let her beat me?
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:52:48 PM
Nope, Never, not a chance.

I remember someone doing that once and got his a$$ smoked.

If you really feel like you want to delay the inevitable or let her catch up, try to use your shots to practice some trick shots.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Dating or Friends vs. LTR
Posted: 9/19/2008 8:44:45 PM
The confusion mainly has to do with the fact that the categories aren't defined to have a specific meaning. Obviously to get to a long term relationship, you have to meet, become friends, date (and decide if you're compatible) and then settle in for the long haul. Some pick friends, because they think well, you have to be 'friends first'. Well, is friendship all you're looking for?

I prefer to look at it as to what is your current END GOAL. What do you want PoF to accomplish for you. You just want to make friends, pick friends or hangout. What a serious relationship, pick Long Term. Just want to casually take your time to find the right person, and maybe commit when you find someone right, pick dating.

It seems there are quite a few who throw a sexual twist to all the categories, and it's odd because we already have the sexual category. Unfortunately there is a filter to "ban" someone when they look for IE's, so the people who don't want to have to delete/recreate their profile after being bored use "friends" or "hang out" or "dating" to get laid when an IE is really what they are looking for.

So, below I list what I define each category as, and then the sexual versions that some people seem to attach to the categories.

My view:
Friends/Hang Out Friends (the exact difference is a matter of semantics)
Talk/Email Online Chat Buddy
Dating Dating/Casual Relationship (may turn into something serious if all the planets are in precise alignment)
Long Term Dating/Serious Relationship (marriage is some time in the future, not just after the third date)
Intimate Encounter NSA F**k buddies
Activity Partner Hobby or Activity partner (ie. need a golf partner? poker buddy? basically you're friends because of an activity, rather than because you became friends)
Other Relationship Something between friends and a relationship OR a typical relationship minus some element (such as an emotional attachment)


The Sexual Version:
Friends NSA Friends with Benefits (more emphasis on friends)
Hang Out NSA Friends with Benefits (more emphasis on the benefits)
Talk/Email Cyber-sex buddies
Dating Non-Monogamous Friends with Benefits
Long Term Monogamous Friends with Benefits
Activity Partner Friends for Bedroom Olympics
Intimate Encounter NSA F**k buddies
Other Relationship SWINGERS !!!!
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 332 (view)
 
I want my male friend to stay with me for a weekend but my boyfriend wont have it!
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:13:19 PM
I have seen atleast one thread like this, but it's been awhile.

What Angelheart says is right.

Your fiance is the jealous type, and depending on how long you've been together, he just hasn't had the opportunity to make it obvious how jealous he can be. Either that, or he has been hiding it, or you haven't been seeing it.

The question you should ask yourself is, are you looking to cheat with your friend. Your answer should probably be no. Think about that for a moment. Do you have any inclination to cheat with this friend? You are in your relationship (not to mention being engaged) for a reason. The engagement means you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner.

A person will cheat, whether they have the opportunity handed to them, or they have to go out looking for one.

If I'm with someone, I'd figure it's more than just convenience, on my or their part. Either the person I'm with will cheat, or will not cheat. There's no middle option. I don't have the time, or can be bothered imagining if my partner will cheat. It will happen whether I like it or not. I can only deal with what happens afterwards. If they cheat, and then leave me for the person they cheated with, that was not because they were tempted with an opportunity, but they had a desire to cheat.

So, where does this leave you in your situation, unless it's already happened? I'd have your male friend stay over at you and your roommates place. You either have a relationship where you can trust each other, or no relationship. It'd be far easier to break things off now, if there are too many issues, than when that wedding date approaches.

Of course, that all depends on if you've been successful in your dating life... if you're desperate enough that you need to hang onto this guy or fear being unmarried for the rest of your life, then maybe the course of action you're considering is not the best option. With that said, you're only 19, and if your profile is to be believed, you should have no problems attracting guys. So, why are you with this fool?
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What about the personal ads on Craigslist?
Posted: 8/10/2008 10:50:38 PM
I have not responded to one of those yet, but if you do consider replying to one of them, there is one simple way to prevent spam.

Ok, well it won't prevent spam, but it will divert it from your regular email.

Go to a free webmail service (yahoo, msn/hotmail/live, gmail, etc) and create a new account.
Use this new account to reply to the ad.
After several emails when you confirm that this person is not a scammer, give them your regular email address to continue the conversation. Explain that you use the email address to reduce spam going to your preferred email address.

This has an added benefit. If you ever need to submit your email address to a site in order to utilize some content, you have this email account to sacrifice in the event that it generates spam.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:23:31 AM

As for the husband turning his back on the wife, and refusing to answer her,.. well, thats great communication, there, is'nt it? NOT.
Seems to me, in that scenario, that if indeed he was innocent of the implication that he's checking these young girls out,.. he would say so, and defend himself voiciforously.. but the OP, states, that the man was staring.. and that he considers that theres nothing wrong with this. if you read the Opost again, you 'll see it written.
So, not only does he see nothing wrong with staring at young girls.. 'its only looking'... he also feels that he is above addressing his wifes concerns about it. yep, sounds like a piece of work, this 'fictional' guy.
Morgana.


You've probably never been with anyone who had trust, jealousy and insecurity issues. The type where anything you do can be taken in the worst possible manner. I was with someone who thought I was checking out two younger-looking women, when i was in fact looking at a sign on the wall of the store we were walking into. You can't reason or defend yourself with these sort of people. After awhile you realize resistance is futile, so why bother getting into yet another argument. In this case, the guy's attitude towards his wife is justified.

To the fictional wife she is automatically assuming he's checking them out. To the husband he could very well have just been admiring the view. He could very well have had those thoughts... we will never know unless the OP "confesses" his "sins".

The moral of the story for this thread, is don't jump to conclusions on the assumptions of what someone posts.

I will admit to looking when a beautiful woman passes my way. I don't go out of my way to look at, and I know enough to not make it obvious I might have seen them if I'm in the presence of someone I'm involved with.

I'm sure the thoughts will come up for some on here that this post has effectively ruined my dating chances... if only it were that easy

...After all I've only ruined my dating chances with women I wouldn't want to be with
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 235 (view)
 
What's the Biggest Age Difference?
Posted: 8/10/2008 6:10:09 AM
I dated a woman who was 19 years older. Would I do it again...? I don't really know.

With that said, I'm comfortable with dating someone within 10-15 years older. I doubt I'd go younger than my own age though. Did 10 years younger, and it wasn't the best of times.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 192 (view)
 
the sleep issue
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:47:45 PM
I prefer to SLEEP alone.

I have a hard time falling asleep when I'm in close proximity to someone. Even harder to fall asleep when there is physical contact.

I tend to move around a lot as well so a few I've been with, would have preferred to sleep alone
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Why doesn't she understand ambition???
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:36:28 AM
OP, I understand where you're coming from. I hate guilt trips myself, and hate it when someone tries to guilt me into giving them what they want. My natural inclination is to find ways to give them less of what they want. A normal relationship does not need manipulation and guilt in order to function.

Now, at this time, I don't have a whole lot of time, and I think I have even less time than you OP to actually devote to a relationship. I have similar things happening (12 hour average work day, sometimes as long as 14 hours), several bands I'm involved with, and while I'm not working on an MBA, all my other time is spent with administrative, website and music work for one of the organizations I'm involved with (all unpaid, but completely voluntary).

Fortunately I haven't felt the need to bog my life down even more with the demands of a relationship. I had a short-lived "relationship" before, but that was before I got my current job, so I had a little more time available. At this point though, I know I don't have the time to devote to a relationship to the degree that many women would want me to, but if I had to deal with all the hassle from prior ones, I don't really want one.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Does anyone use the art of seduction or mystery method on dates?
Posted: 7/28/2008 9:17:09 AM

I have no idea why women are so upset with the idea of a guy trying to learn how to be socially adept, when they continuously complain about not being able to find a charming man that sparks any attraction.


It's because they want someone for which the method is natural for them, rather than someone who is still learning

After all if you're getting your hair cut and paying money for it, you want someone who knows what they're doing, rather than someone who is just learning. Otherwise you expect a decent discount, and may in fact plan to get someone who knows what they're doing to fix any mistakes the new guy made.

I've looked at the mystery method, but got bored watching it. Still have it on the computer, and may watch it again.

These methods are used mainly in the early stages, and then the persons natural personality then takes over.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Circle of friends...
Posted: 7/28/2008 8:37:40 AM
I have two primary circle of friends, but I am outside the geographical boundaries to do anything with those friends except on some weekends. Where I live right now, I have very few friends to do anything, beyond the activities and events that would reconnect me with the circles I am not really geographically a part of.

Friendships from work settings, don't usually develop for me away from work. That process unfortuantely tends to be a slow one, and when something like that develops, my work situation usually changes.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 115 (view)
 
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/22/2008 9:07:50 PM
I could not possibly see one of my ex's getting married. Even if she did find someone who was willing to put up with her crap and marry her, she'd still be convinced that he'll leave the minute he finds someone better, although I think she looks to marriage as a way to get at least 16-18 years worth of spousal and child support.

Since she'd take the first chance to quit her job to take care of her many animals on a full time basis, she'd be milking him for every penny she could get once she divorced him.

With that said, if I found out she actually got married, I'd probably more feel sorry for the poor guy who got suckered into a life of misery
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Not Ready For Marriage
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:19:48 PM
As has been said, a proposal doesn't automatically mean that a marriage will actually take place. It is simply an indication of commitment for some people.

If someone proposed to you, and you did not feel that the relationship would survive for the long term (with or without the proposal), it'd be better to just end the relationship. If you feel that the relationship could survive the long term test, accept the proposal, even if you were not prepared to be married the following day. Just make it clear that you are not ready now, but that the relationship still needs time before making that relatively large commitment jump.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 212 (view)
 
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:03:41 PM
My dating life effectively started when I was 28, so if I happen to get to 45ish and still unmarried/no kids, then sure, I might consider myself to have a commitment phobia...

If I happen to still be unmarried by the time I reach 35, that might indicate that I did a good job of weeding out the undesirable women. My last two had some sub-surface insecurity issues that only came out after we were involved.

I think it's a good thing though that I had no children with either of them. I would not want to have either of them in my life at the moment.

So, is being divorced with children you only see one weekend every two weeks, so much better than not having had those children and marriage?
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 122 (view)
 
He is jealous of my male friend
Posted: 7/16/2008 7:58:36 AM

I am a firm believer that men and women can be friends without anything sexual going on...

Whereas, I'm a believer that men and women can end up back in bed years after a relationship is over...


I am a firm believer that SOME men and women CAN be friends with the opposite sex, with no sexual contact involved.

I am also a firm believer that SOME men and women CAN'T be friends with the opposite sex with no sexual contact involved.


Interesting that when the OP posted that her real-life friends had no problems with her course of action, that the crowd would jump up with the claims that these so-called friends have these automatic ulterior motives.

The OP came on here looking for different perspectives, and she got them. Real life says it's ok, the internet says it's bad. She may have had her mind made up, but maybe she was just curious of the opinions out there.

Some people come on here to ask about a specific problem that they are dealing with. Some people come on here to ask about a general issue they have contemplated, but which doesn't actually apply to them. Many threads on here are somewhere in the middle.

I've read the responses since I last posted on here. Still overwhelmingly opposed, and in responses after page 2, quite frequent lack of reading comprehension, unless you actually followed the thread from the beginning.

Since I posted, I have gone through a few things in my life, and one thing I know is that it's better to be single if the alternative is trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole.

OP, you've been friends with this guy for about a decade. This friendship is important to you. You have examples where people can stay friends long after the romantic/relationship side has died, and where the new SO's have no issues with the ex's.

I believe your bf tolerated your compromise of meeting your friend half way for the day as an attempt at avoiding the situation, such that you might forget about it, or reconsider. He was never happy about it or tolerated any thought about it.

At the moment I am "seeing" someone who doesn't mind that I have my own life, friends and hobbies, as she has her own. We see each other occasionally, and it hasn't gone the committed route yet. I can trust that she won't be going off having a fling with someone else, and she can likewise do the same because we both know why we're together.

OP, you are 60, you've already had your kids, you're obviously not looking to start another family. The things you seek in a relationship are going to be different than what someone half your age would seek.

I'd say OP for your sake, you should let your bf go. You've had other bf's that had no problem with your desires, no reason to think that another one won't come along. The friend issue is a round hole, and your bf is a square peg. Try to find a round peg that will just slide in
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Rekindle Old Flames?
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:26:19 AM
OP,

20 years old only scratches the surface of what life is about.

When we're young, we think we know it all, and we all think we're right.

As we age, we either remain as clueless as we were, or our perspective evolves to see the bigger picture. We'll have to wait 10 years ago to find out which applies to you .

It all depends on why a couple was separated. Was there a distance issue that never allowed the relationship to blossom, or cut a relationship short. In such a case, I believe it entirely possible for a relationship to rekindle as strongly as it had been.

As has been mentioned, it would also depend on if those issues that ended the relationship are still there, or if the person who didn't like those issues can learn to tolerate and accept them.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Profile says looking but when you write, they say they are taken
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:19:40 PM
Sometime last year I was on here with a profile that had indicated single but I was "involved". Complicated to explain, but needless to say I wasn't fully single. Other than my profile saying single (which I figured I had changed it), there was no other indication that I was available and looking. Did receive an email from someone, but let them know that I wasn't single and not looking, and even if the relationship ended, I probably still wouldn't be looking. The kicker was I later suspected that it was the soon to be ex that contacted me seeing if I could be enticed to cheat. While she didn't admit to doing that, she did acknowledge that she created at least one new profile to do just that.

At the moment I'm seeing someone, although there has been no talk about exclusivity, and we see each other maybe once a week or so. It's too early to see if it will go long term, and while the fishin' line is still out there, I'm not actively looking to start dating someone new. Only when we have the exclusivity talk would I think about changing things on here.

I suspect for some of the men (and women) that use the "I'm taken" line when they indicate single on their profile that they are single but trying to avoid telling you they aren't interested.


OP, I had something that happened to me sort of like yours, but probably worse. 5 months ago I contacted someone who according to their profile was single and looking for "Long Term". They had stuff about what they were looking for, and all the usual stuff about not finding.

A few days after I contacted them (with my message left sitting unread and undeleted... though they may have read it I know it hadn't been deleted), I looked at their profile and what would you know. They were now suddenly "Not Single/Not Looking". Now looking for "friends", and had a blurb about being with a wonderful guy. You can imagine my CONFUSION, questioning whether I completely misread their profile.

A week or so later I went back to their profile and what do you know. Back to Single and looking for Long Term. The old profile back up.

I wonder if I should try to contact her. Maybe she'll read this and realize how pathetic it was. Definitely prefer a read/delete or a "Not interested" email compared to a profile switch up. If you're trying to avoid a nasty email, that stunt ain't going to get you much.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Settling - A different perspective
Posted: 7/4/2008 1:49:09 PM
My prior relationships are all testament to the fact that I don't settle.

I have a cat, I can choose to be single if the relationship I'm involved in no longer provides me with what I want. I won't ever choose to stay in a relationship if I'm not happy. I might stay in one on a temporary basis if there is a financial motivation, but otherwise no.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
You are eating out and are extremely happy or extremely displeased with your meal...
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:36:46 AM

Compliments to the chef are fine, but I would not complain about the food if you want to eat at this restaurant again. As disgusting as it is, they will probably split on your food by the time you get it back or the next time you eat there.


I have a friend who talked with someone who worked at a restaurant.

Whatever you do, don't complain about your food, unless you can see what they are doing when you send it back.

As I understand it, one woman complained about her steak. After sending it back the guys in the kitchen spit on it, kicked it around the floor, rinsed it under the sink, and sent it back out. Apparently it was the best steak she had ever had

If you don't like a meal or the service, ask to speak to a manager, and get a discount on the meal, or go somewhere else.

I had an experience at a Pizza Hut. We usually got the bread sticks as a main meal. Mine came out with practically no cheese. Wasn't too thrilled by it, but started eating anyway. My friends got theirs next and theirs was LOADED with fricken cheese.

I did speak to someone nicely about it, and the waitress fully understood, and got me a new order (to take home).
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
National Anthem disrespected?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:22:47 AM

Most of us find it hilarious,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpXzASiXX8U


Yea, I agree. Hilarious. While it was somewhat painful to listen to Mr. KC Parks try to sing the anthem, it was also too funny.

The last time I sang my government's anthem? Probably grade school. And to think I was going to spend time doing an arrangement of it for my bands.

Contract or no contract, who cares? As has been said, no one is going to talk about it a month from now. Some people get offended really easily. Don't get your panties in a knot.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 128 (view)
 
A few days datng - they say 'I miss you' is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:58:11 AM

We've heard her side and his side, actually. It's anyone's guess as to whether we've heard the truth yet.


Unless I missed where the guy in question posted in the thread, we've only heard hers. The OP can't mind read what the guy was thinking, nor may have understood why he feels like he misses her (you lose a lot of communication (body language) in text and phone calls. She assumes that can't happen, so she can't post his side of the story, only a biased view of what she interprets to be his side of the story.

Anyway, this is not something the OP can understand.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 124 (view)
 
A few days datng - they say 'I miss you' is this a red flag?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:59:47 AM
It's only a red flag for those who think it's weird.

Some people would be creeped out by it, some would be flattered by it. You are obviously creeped out by it because you aren't affected emotionally by online and phone interactions.

You don't need to have met someone to feel like you miss them. He's not a player just because he tells you this. It could very well be genuine, and you can tell the attitude of a person by what they post on here. Many people every day get involved in long distance relationships, and while many of these don't work out, many do and go onto something wonderful. I have a friend who met his wife before the age of the internet and they were between Windsor and Montreal.

What you haven't even mentioned is what the two of you have talked about online and the phone. How long these conversations were, and how well they went for both parties. We're really only getting one side of the story, and as we all know:

"There are three sides to every story, hers, his and the truth".

Guess which one we've only heard.

The difference between being creeped out about this and being flattered that he's been thinking about you and/or misses you, is how much emotional investment you've put into this. It may also be affected by how much of this sort of attention you receive as well.

Would you rather be chatting with someone who seems cold and emotionless, and wouldn't care whether he was chatting with you or some other women on the internet. To that sort of person, you'd just be a number to pass the time and maybe use to get laid when the time came, and then take off looking for someone else.

So, chances are he's really interested in you (why the assumption he must automatically be a player), and he enjoys communicating with you. He feels good when he communicates with you. Think of someone you've been with (on a date, in a relationship, etc). Think about how wonderful you've felt being with that person. Then think about when you have to be apart from them. That would exactly be what he's feeling. Yes, it can happen without physical interaction.
 
Show ALL Forums