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yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Guys your thoughts would be appreciated Posted: 10/4/2009 11:25:48 AM
So should you take a step back be smart and positive and stay focused on the Reality of the Situation not what you want it to be? Doesn't that statement answer your own question. Should you be smart or pretend something is what you want it to be. Take the blinders off dear, or you'll get your heart ripped out. You gotta accept what is, not what you want it to be. Good luck =)

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

The Ultimate Dilemma Posted: 9/20/2008 10:34:00 PM
when u will be old & u will look back in time , then you will see no one should treat u like that Don't listen to that BS. Do everything with class and integrity, so when you do look back you can do it with dignity. It is you that will have to live with the things you do. Just let it go, bitterness and revenge will only devour your own soul. Nothing good comes out of anything bad.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 996 (view)

Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships? Posted: 9/16/2008 9:35:56 PM
D@mn 2yrs and 40 pages later...I forgot the question

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

The Ultimate Dilemma Posted: 9/16/2008 8:45:38 PM
I hear ya.........about the trainwreck. but she caused it. any problems could've been discussed and talked about, especially since we are roommates... but she totally shut me out! She She She...You know the saying when you point a finger you have 4 pointing back at ya. Your still hung up on her, you'll stop saying SHE and looking for somewhere to place blame when you get over it. And you're not going to get over it until you get on with your own life. So get out and forget it. Put it behind you even if you loose the lease/deposit or whatever. Like someone else said, it's always inconvenient, but a must.Sht happens, especially to us guys, or at least it seems that way. H*ll I've slept in my car for the night (more than once) until I could line up something the next day. That's just life

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

What is a lost soul? Posted: 9/16/2008 8:03:10 PM
I lost half my soul during the divorce....the judge actually let her have it.. OH God that one had me LMAO And I don't doubt it a bit lol

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 132 (view)

Playing it SAFE.. Would you consider having a life time partner that you knew you could never love. Posted: 9/16/2008 8:29:09 AM
Zeeba, that's called settling...and that's giving up. It's a big ole world out there, and a lot of lonely single people in it. There are also a lot of lonely married people. If it was something that came easy, none of us would ever truly appreciate it when we do find it. And even then many people don't. What are you looking for? Just a man, or true emotional bond between two people that love each other so much they can't live without the other. OK maybe can't live without the other is stretching it a bit. I don't think I've ever really seen that happen, but to feel as if they can't live without the other. That doesn't happen often, I think only twice in my whole life. I've only been married once, and she wasn't one of them. I was miserable for 14 yrs, and so was she. That's why it's so sad when two people do find that, and don't treasure it enough to keep it alive. It's something that's priceless, because truly finding it is almost imposable. However, I'm not going to just settle. It wouldn't be fair to me or her. Neither of us would ever really be happy. And I'd hate to know the person I was with had just settled, wouldn't you? Your profile says you want a man as comfortable in his own skin as you are in yours. Are you comfortable enough to live alone if that's what the future holds? Personally, I'd rather be alone than to fake it.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 128 (view)

Playing it SAFE.. Would you consider having a life time partner that you knew you could never love. Posted: 9/16/2008 7:31:27 AM
Nope not anymore. I dated someone once just because I thought she was a great person. She was more like a good friend than a lover. There was no emotional bond, physical attraction, etc... Left me feeling as if I was missing something. Naturally it didn't work out but I still have the deepest respect for her. None the less...she hates me We should have just left it as friends. Live and learn

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

The Ultimate Dilemma Posted: 9/16/2008 7:13:29 AM
Yeah dude you gotta get out of there. Part of the healing process is getting rid of all reminders and moving on with your own life. You were all friends, so talk to them and try to work it out and still remain on friendly terms. You certainly don't want to burn your neutral friend who is innocent in all this. If they are true friends, they should be compassionate and understanding.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 511 (view)

Why do married men masturbate? Posted: 9/14/2008 6:39:53 PM
It's normal, he'll outgrow it in about 20 more years lol

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Abandonement Issues Posted: 9/8/2008 1:21:47 PM
Just a thought...Don't you think when he views your profile, he's going to see this and know whats going on in your head? Does he know you're in therapy and why? This post would probably scare me off after only 2 weeks. It shows a person who is obsessive, jumps to conclusions, and doesn't maintain self control. Which is what I think you should learn to practice "self control." There may be many reasons he doesn't respond instantly. He may be logged in, but not sitting in front of his computer. As far as email, he may be in forums and not know you sent him an email. I do that quite often. Learn to practice self control. Send him an email, and wait several hours before checking to see if he's responded. Or deactivate your profile all together, and just talk to him on the phone. Because as I said, If I saw this from someone I had only known 2 weeks, I'd probably be gone. Good luck :)

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 95 (view)

Pick one: Love or respect Posted: 9/8/2008 9:37:46 AM
Several years ago I went through a very heart breaking end to a relationship with someone I was truly in love with. I don't fall in love easy, so this was devastating to me for a very long time. She swore she loved me, and I was completely in love with her. I couldn't for the life of me understand how two people that love each other so much can't make it work. I struggled with this for a long time, and a very good friend told me several times, "Love just isn't enough. You can love someone to death, but it takes so much more" It took a while for that to sink in, but finally one day it did. And finally it all made since. There are several ingredients to a happy healthy relationship. There is love, trust, mutual respect, chemistry, honesty, acceptance, and many more I'm not going to try to think of and list. But my point is, just like baking a cake, if you leave out part of the ingredients, it's going to taste like sht. So I want it all, and want my love to have it all as well. I won't settle for one or the other, and don't expect my partner to either. It's hard enough to find a real true love with all the major needed ingredients, that it amazes me how many people want to nit pick over trivial meaningless sht. Example,"She wears to much makeup," or "He's perfect in every way, but he's a smoker." Now I'm sure there are people that are allergic to smoke, but if it's just a pet peeve, well none of us will ever find anyone who is perfect in every single way. If they have it all going on in every area of real importance, why can't we accept the minor imperfections of a person? Everyone has their own personal list of deal breakers, and their certainly entitled to do so. But I think sometimes we are so picky that we bypass several wonderful opportunities to make our lives happier than we've ever been. Personally, I can accept the minor imperfections in a person, but when it comes to the major things, I won't settle for half the ingredients. And I wouldn't won't my partner to do any less. Just my thoughts...

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

what toys do you like Posted: 9/8/2008 8:38:43 AM
OK I just gotta ask... I'm just curious as hll, In regards to previously used toys, what do you ladies do when you meet a man you like? Does he have to be a virgin, or get a new one Seriously, isn't plastic/silicone, or whatever, safer than the human body? And my personal favorite is the viberating tongue ring. But those dmn things are expencive, so I want say it's never been reused. Altho I have been ask if it had ever been used before, but I haven't yet had anyone stop me from using it again Oh BTW Sweet Millissa, I should have read your profile before I made that last comment. We'd be to much alike to attract

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

what toys do you like Posted: 8/30/2008 9:49:23 PM
Whips, Strap-ons, Dragons Tails, Nipple clamps, Handcuffs (padded), chastity belts (CB6000), ball gags, cling wrap, cages You just stole my heart LOL

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 170 (view)

My last boyfriend passed away sends them running... Posted: 8/29/2008 7:16:22 PM
^^^^Some how I knew you two were soul mates . Another happy ending... Now you guys just need to jump over to the testimonials

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 161 (view)

My last boyfriend passed away sends them running... Posted: 8/28/2008 10:16:04 PM
Momark/Cindy O... How long you two been married

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 137 (view)

My last boyfriend passed away sends them running... Posted: 8/26/2008 6:41:15 PM
You have somehow to convince them that as far as you are concerned the past, even though it was good, is the past and you are looking for a future. I disagree with you here friend. OP I don't think you have to convince anyone of anything. You should just be yourself and if they can't accept you for that, then they just need to move on. You shouldn't have to prove anything to anyone. So what if, you were in love and he passed away. And so what if you still love him. My thoughts are, that is a good thing. At least you didn't end the relationship on bad terms and come out bitter as hll from it. Or you were imposable for anyone to get along with. Your relationship ended from something natural. God decided it was his time. I personally wouldn't have any respect for you at all, if you could just toss your feelings out the door just because he up and died on you. That was in neither one of your control. Although, I do agree if I were to date a widow, I would wonder in the beginning if I could live up to the love she had for him. But that would be for me to do, not for you to forget a good thing you once had. I would just need to do the best I could to make you as happy or happier than you were with him. Not for you to prove to me you didn't cherish what you had with your former lover. If you felt that way, I'd tear the door off the hinges on my way out. We all have a past, and some of them a lot uglier than that. As I said before, I'd much rather compete with the ghost of a former lover than a crazy psycho ex. any day. I've stood toe to toe with grizzly bears who thought she was still his property, and had all the pistols shoved in my face I ever care to see. No thank you, a magnum in the hands of a fool can be quite intimidating. I'm not scared of ghost, hll he can help with the dishes if he wants to hang around lol. If you don't mind experimenting some time, PAD your dating/relationship resume and downplay the boyfriend that passed away. See what happens. I'd recommend that you do this with a guy that you don't much care whether he stays or goes, because you are in fact lying( but it's for an EXPERIMENT!) This my dear is the stupidest idea I've seen yet. Not to mention tacky as h*ll. Why would she want to put down a perfectly innocent person for no reason other than your silly @ss experiment. Ever hear of treating others the way you would want to be treated? How would you like to be on the receiving end of that silly @ss experiment with someone who was just toying with you. Now someone who played with the feelings and emotions of others, I'd certainly run screaming from!

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

My last boyfriend passed away sends them running... Posted: 8/24/2008 10:36:06 AM
Sorry for your loss. I can't imagine anyone running from you for that reason though. Maybe it's something else and you just think that's the problem. Personally, I'd rather deal with the loss, than a crazy psycho ex.. Anyone that would run from you because of that is just selfish and you don't need them anyway. But I really doubt that is the problem. Probably more to the story than we can see. You didn't say how often this happened, if you broke down in tears on the first date, etc...But in any case, I'd think there is more to the story, and there aren't a dozen men running from you simply because your a widow. As several other men as well as myself have said, that wouldn't send us running.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

why is this tactic used? Posted: 8/23/2008 12:59:12 PM
it'd be easier to just nip the problem in the bud That"s my typical response, and I'd suggest you follow your own advice. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! You're not the only guy this has happened to, but I've never been stood up twice by the same person. Of course it's happened once a few times, but never twice. Now granted things can come up, but they can also show you the respect of giving you a call to let you know. Instead of letting you waist your time, car gas, etc...when you could be doing other things. Just goes to show the character of the person your trying to meet up with. So unless her reason was something unavoidable...I'd delete, ignore, block, etc... the first time it happened. I'm giving them my time which to me is very valuable. If I'm not worth a phone call, she's not worth another second of my time.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Poof They're Gone Posted: 8/17/2008 11:06:04 PM
^^^^If you don't like the character of the person, why would you even want to get to know them? "I wait while she is chatting on computer and talking on the phone to her cream- of-the-crop choices!!! " She actually tell you that? Or are you just assuming? Ass-U-me remember that one?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Poof They're Gone Posted: 8/17/2008 10:42:26 PM
well if you're THAT busy, then what the hell are you doing on a dating site?? you can't have it all you know. Just stopped in to annoy you :) To me busy is a damn lame excuse if you are so busy then why start looking in the first place. You don't think women are busy with children and running a household single handedly. Give me a break. You think women are the only ones running a household? If you read my profile, I'm also running a household single handedly. Cooking dinner, cleaning house, washing cloths, caring for a child, homework, school activities, repairing the autos, home maintenance, doing the yard work, then work 12 to 16 hrs a day with only 4 days off every 5 weeks if I'm lucky. As dmn lame of an excuse as it might be, I don't owe you any dmn excuse why I'm here When you create your own web site, you have my complete permission to block me from using it :)

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Poof They're Gone Posted: 8/16/2008 9:24:22 AM
Evidently, you've never been poofed! Nope!!! They won't even talk to me

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

No Women Seems Interested.... Posted: 8/15/2008 9:37:36 PM
Women will date only men who are well-off, hot, and/or massively talented. If you have those three qualities (maybe two if you find a woman who is forgiving), you'll have offers rolling in Guys, in all honesty, haven't men been doing the same thing for centeries? How many men are messaging the "not so attractive" women wanting to get to know them??? Their no different, so why is everyone always trashing them for it? Devils advocate :)

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Poof They're Gone Posted: 8/15/2008 8:37:20 PM
^^^^^ <div class="quote"> Yes...I know..this online phenomena usually happens because: a. they have moved onto what they perceive as the bigger, better fish b. they simply found something about me that was not part of their perfect dating picture. or (ding ding ding in MANY cases) c. they were looking for a sexual relationship above all and didn't really care for more than that. AND/OR d. They are already in a relationship and just looking for fun on the side. You forgot one, they could be like me, busy as h*ll :) Do you ever message them to see?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Poof They're Gone Posted: 8/15/2008 1:49:53 PM
Oh, and people are quite brutal in wanting to delete posts. Ouch! I'm sorry if it's redundant. I couldn't agree more dear, if you want to post something, it isn't costing them anything, so why not leave it. Guess some people just like to be controlling:modhammer:

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

No Women Seems Interested.... Posted: 8/14/2008 9:26:31 PM
yep, they do do it. usually they are the ones who end up cancelling every meeting or better yet, just stand the date up..... Well thats just stupid, why waist the time and energy???

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

No Women Seems Interested.... Posted: 8/14/2008 9:12:27 PM
When there is only one photo and the guy looks like a model, we women assume that it is a lifted photo of a model. Do you think peopkle really do that? What are they going to do when they meet you, tape it to their face?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

No Women Seems Interested.... Posted: 8/14/2008 9:02:33 PM
Someone mentioned you wanting a child for your mother. I don't see that in your profile, maybe you removed it by now, But always leave your mother out of it. No one wants a mommas boy, and being concerned that you give her a child seems to scream that at me. Also it's 2008, do you not have a cell with a digital camera in it? A friend with one? A momma's boy with no car, phone or picts... I just really don't know why there isn't a line of women waiting to be bred at your door already

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

How does one go about all this? Posted: 8/13/2008 2:06:06 PM
I think that's a mystery that baffles the world. I wish I knew the answer to all your questions, unfortunately I don't. I really doubt if anyone does. But for what it's worth I will give you a bit of advice on internet dating "AS I SEE IT." First your screen name, I know or at least think I know that you are referring to the year you were born. However, many will misinterpret the 69 as a sexual implication. Second, you really need to add a photo, actually several photos. Not having a photo leads people to believe you are hiding something, and that you're not very serious. Third, don't judge people by their words but more by their actions. Observe not only how they treat you, but also how they treat others. How they treat and act toward others is probably a stronger indication of who they really are. While dating, they will be on their best behavior toward you. To others that they are not trying to impress, they will reveal who they really are. And lastly take your time. People can put up a front for a while, but in time they will reveal who they really are. Good luck fishing

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 634 (view)

David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/13/2008 9:58:27 AM
but what's not different is guys making sweeping declarations of things they know little about to tear others down to make themselves look better. Women are pretty used to those guy behaviors and they're tired of the pomposity of those macho souls. Very true ezak. Exactly the reason for my post. If you notice it's what I pointed out at the beginning. Post 614 Mr. Plastic responded to my other posting with... Nothing sadder then someone who refuses to GROW! To become a better, and more empowered human! I'm not trying to tear you down at all. If you want to drop a hundred bucks on a "How to pick up women" book, thats certainly your prerogative. However, I hardly think that my lack of desire to waist my money on such is an indication that I haven't or refuse to grow as a person. I'm certainly not the same man I was when I was 20, so I'd have to say I have grown in the last 20 yrs. And your absolutely rite I know nothing at all about the book, and doubt if I ever will. It hardly sounds like something worth my time. I seriously doubt if it would make me a better or more empowered human being as the Plastic man implied. Discussing my approach, just be yourself. Real and sincere whatever that may be...Good luck to ya, I didn't mean to step on your toes.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

another one bites the dust....... Posted: 8/13/2008 7:03:10 AM
If men play the field, they don't get labelled as 'sluts'. Talk about your double standard, but then boys will be boys Are you kidding? For as long as I can remember, and certainly much longer than that men have ALL been generalized as male ho's, players, dawgs, etc., etc... Women seem to instinctively think that all men want is one thing, regardless of our true intentions. They then through us all into the same category. Many times even offended because of their inaccurate assumptions of our motives. I'm not condoning the labeling of anyone , but a double standard??? I've basically been called a slut many times for no reason at all, and it was totally acceptable to most everyone. But when a man uses the term, women will tear him apart. Where's the double standard?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 67 (view)

short women/tall men Posted: 8/12/2008 12:14:27 PM
Well I'm 6' and have dated several women 5'2", doesn't bother me the least bit. Although I often teased them about needing a box to stand on to kiss me lol. When a box wasn't handy, I'd just pick them up. I kind of liked it :)

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

I need some help or advice please!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 8/12/2008 12:03:03 PM
i just dont think he cares about me and he is only friend with me cos he knows i still like him but thats not what i want. There is your answer but thats not what i want You want something he doesn't. He probably likes you as a friend and nothing more. Thats why he continues talking to you. But it's obvious you want more, and he isn't willing to give that much of himself to you. Why not just accept his friendship and accept that it will never be anything more. He's already tested the waters with you and knows your interest in him. If he wanted the same thing you do, he'd be giving that to you. You can't make someone want or love you if they don't. Be happy you have a true friend, they are very hard to find. And if you can't accept his being with someone else, then you just have to let it go. No need to send him messages telling him your done, it's pretty obvious he's already done. So what is the point in messaging him to let him know that you are now. A message to say your done, only says your not REALLY done.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 630 (view)

David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/11/2008 6:51:29 AM
I stand corrected! Nothing sadder then someone who refuses to GROW! To become a better, and more empowered human! Those people who think that to better yourself is in some way to stop being yourself are way off...anyone who still has the same thought process at age 30 that they had at 21 has missed a great deal How to pick up women is self development...PLEASE!!!...Learn a foreign language, take some college courses, expand your knowledge of computers, etc., etc.... That's self development and you'll impress the ladies far more than learning stupid insulting pick up lines like... "How tall are you without the heels. 3 feet?" "I don't have to e-mail you but you have to take me out..." "I don't know what the fuss is. You're not THAT pretty." "You're rather tall. Must be a pain shopping for pants for a freak ." Again I haven't read the book, or know anything about it, but to suggest that I haven't grown or developed in 40yrs because I haven't read DD's book is ridiculous. What I have learned is that there is a sucker born every minute. You can't buy foreclosed homes for a $!, become a millionaire in 6mths with no money down, loose weight by taking a pill at bed time "Dream Away," make a living by stuffing envelops from home, or become "Gods gift to women" by reading some stupid book. These books on "How to pick up women" have been around forever. There were adds for this kind of thing in every playboy book stuffed under my mattress when I was 13. He's a SALESMAN. His job is to sell products. From what I've read here in this forum, I don't even need to read DD's book to see Handsome1204 is probably rite on the MONEY! Overweight people will try anything to loose weight, desperate men are no different. Tell them you have a way to pick up women, and they'll start throwing money at you. I was a salesman years ago as well, and a da*n good one. What I learned then was that "Different" sells. Yes you do have to be somewhat different than the average Joe in order to catch that woman you'd like to have. But being different isn't using insulting pick up lines, it's having a character and integrity that's different than the average Joe. They can find an untrustworthy deadbeat around every corner. What they want is someone with character and integrity who has their sht together and is someone they can believe in. Thats different!

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 610 (view)

David Deangelo Double Your Dating - Any feedback? Posted: 8/9/2008 9:52:13 AM
I have no idea who he is and never heard of the book, but I haven't found myself desperate enough to start reading books on the subject. I seem to do just fine simply by just being myself. I haven't found Mrs Rite yet or I'd be married, but then I'm also picky as h*ll. Probably to picky. However, I personally think If you find Mrs. Rite by doing anything other than just being yourself, then you haven't found Mrs. Rite. You've found "Mrs. I'm in love with the book you read"

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 191 (view)

Strangest Compliment Posted: 8/9/2008 7:45:32 AM
Oh God, one that still rings in my head to this day for some stupid reason... "I have men to die for asking me out, but it's YOU that I want." FYI ladies, this isn't a very flattering compliment. If your ever inclined to use this line, you might want to reword it a little.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 155 (view)

Affirmative Action Outdated? Posted: 8/9/2008 6:50:27 AM
But afirmive action has enabled minorities not to work to get where they are and its encouraged me to not work hard on my job because I know that no matter how hard I work, the minority will usually get the gold. I have seen it to many times. Did your employer offer you a position that you accepted to sit on your @ss? I doubt it. How about doing your job to the best of your ability because it's what you agreed to do when you ask for the job? Would it be OK with you if your employer just suddenly decided to cut your pay because they felt like someone was working a little harder than you? Most likely you agreed to preform your assigned job duties in exchange for a certain amount of pay. If you have any integrity, you should continue doing that regardless of what your coworkers are doing, or resign if you don't like the way they run their business. The ethical thing to do would be do your job as you agreed when you were hired. Just as you would if you were paying someone else for the services. And if you don't think discrimination still exist, your blind. I've been behind the closed doors on the hiring/firing end with upper management saying "I don't want a black person," for no reason. Or "a woman because they will always be taking off to take care of sick children" etc... Also, this coming from a home grown Alabama boy, and it doesn't just happen here. Some of the most raciest people I've ever met were from other parts of the country. The same God that created you and I, created them as well. Are we greater than our creator?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

does anyone understand how men think? Posted: 8/8/2008 12:22:40 PM
I just realized something that doesn't make a lot of since here, or I don't know how to add one. Your husband died 4 yrs ago, you were alone for 2 yrs, was with the 1st man for a year, 14mths go by and you meet man #2??? You met 2 men that you thought were the one in less than 2 yrs and gave them your heart??? Hun, your giving your heart away to easily . Maybe lonely, still grieving over your late husband, I don't know? I've been divorced for 14 yrs, and in my whole life, I've only met what I thought was the 1 twice. Maybe you need to do some real soul searching and ask yourself why your giving your heart away so quickly?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

does anyone understand how men think? Posted: 8/8/2008 11:47:27 AM
I have been crying a lot lately feeling "what is wrong w/ me?? There's nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't blame yourself for the poor character of the men your choosing to give your heart to. Sounds like you just need to be a little more cautious about whose hands you place your heart in.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Third date bombshell Posted: 8/7/2008 6:44:02 AM
My head says run like the wind - if he solves his family problems with alcohol, he is not the one for me!! My head says if he handles his family problems with alcohol, what happens if you become a part of his family and there is a problem? Odds are that he handles all his problems with alcohol. A person that can't handle their problems without alcohol has a problem with alcohol. Asking the question here, my head tells me you are trying to ignore the huge red flag flying in your face. Stick around and his problem will become your problem eventually.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Please just say 'no' ... Posted: 8/7/2008 5:43:09 AM
n response to the signals: the trouble with body signals is they rarely match congruently with the words and actions. I've recently had a woman saying yes verbally and no in terms of body language - I can see the signals At 47 yrs old you should know, if the answer is yes, there won't be any question about it. Just as you pointed out in the above comment, even when the body language said no, she finally came rite out with yes verbally. If a woman wants you, she will let you know. If you have to ask, most likely the answer is NO. Women are very aggressive when the answer is yes, and leave no question about it. Some so aggressive they won't back off even when you respond with NO. If you've been hanging out 2 or 3 yrs, and not catching on to her signals, she would have grabbed you a long time ago and said "I want you!" Personally I HATE to be put on the spot with questions like that, and wouldn't do it to someone else. No one wants to hurt someones feelings? By asking the question, you are putting them in a very uncomfortable position.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

I'm told I look XX years younger than my age ... Posted: 8/5/2008 8:12:05 AM
Guys, do the rest of you cringe like I do when you see that in a profile? NO...I have entirely to much real life sht to worry about. I'm not going to cringe over what someone puts in their profile. It's not my web site or my profile, so it's their prerogative to put whatever they want on their profile. It doesn't take that much effort to click the mouse. Why let something so trivial get under your skin?

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Met someone but she crushed me Posted: 8/4/2008 2:34:49 PM
She doesnt love him.............she doesnt know and understand love. After 5 years its her comfort zone. Unless and until she goes to counseling he is in control........ I think the words I used were "feels like" "confused, mixed up" After 5 years its her comfort zone "Codependence"

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Met someone but she crushed me Posted: 8/4/2008 1:12:40 PM
Codependency... She has obviously become psychologically dependent on him and feels like she is so much in love with him that she can't live without him. Thats why she tollerates the abusive nature of the former/current lover. He will most likely continue emotionally abusing her, a lepord can't change his spots. And she may come running back to you when he does. I personally wouldn't play second string to anyone. She probably needs a freind that understands her, but If she crushed you in this short period, you are probably not the one to do it. So it might be in your best interest to not get anywhere near it, or you may become even more a part of the insanity. She probably meant no intentional harm to you. Unfortunantly you wound up getting wrapped up in her psycological problems that in her mind she can't controll. Just keep in mind, she is a mixed up and confused person. It probably had nothing at all to do with you. So don't harbor hard feelings toward her, she's obviously a victim also. But be very carfull not to be one again yourself. Keep your chin up, and move on to a positive relationship with someone else.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Explain dating to me... Posted: 8/4/2008 8:45:08 AM
I have fun going out on "dates" but I want a relationship not "dates" and I don't want to screw up something that might be good...... Relationships don't just evolve from nothing. A successful date ends in a relationship. Not the other way around. Sounds like you're wanting to put the cart before the horse. People don't generally have a relationship, then begin dating. It usually begins with a date, then the relationship. And if it's a good relationship the dating continues. Take it one step at a time and follow your intuition. And good luck finding someone that’s never kissed another before. Although I would imagine you'd be arrested if you do.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

i can't move on, please help Posted: 8/3/2008 1:55:03 PM
From About.com...It's always worked for me, hope it helps. Good luck, sorry your feeling so down. Do an online search for the info. It can be real helpfull :) Breaking Up and Moving On 8 Things that will heal a broken heart Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks? Here we list eight essential things everybody must do in the early days of a break up to let the healing begin. 1)Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be. 2)Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later. 3)Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back. 4)Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong. 5)Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things? 6)Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss. 7)Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life. 8)Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way. Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you’ll be just fine. Good luck!

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

The PORK CHOP thread Posted: 8/3/2008 10:34:16 AM
Simple and easy, you'll love it... In a casserol dish 1) Layer the bottom with Cambells cream of mushroom soup 2) layer middle with thick cut boneless pork chops 3) Cover top with another layer of Cambells cream of mushroom soup Cover with aluminum foil and bake at 350 about 30 or 45 min. (until throughly cooked). They will melt in your mouth. Moist tender and an unbelievable flavor. Hummm reminds me of a girl I use to date

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

KIDS DAD KILLS HIMESELF Posted: 8/1/2008 10:28:43 AM
my kids never got to see there other family and they hate me and my kids If they hate your children, their better off not having anything to do with them. Your children don't need to be in an enviroment where their hated. However after losing their son, they may see things in a different light and want to hold on to whatever they can that is a part of him. I would just let them know that the oppertunity is there for them to have a relationship with his children if they desire to. However, I'd be certian the children are going to be in a loving enviroment. Your children will be fine not ever knowing them, but an abusive enviroment can leave emotional scars that will last a lifetime. Good luck and sorry for your situation, I'm sure it's a tough one to be in.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 239 (view)

WHY do men just disappear?? Posted: 7/31/2008 1:00:55 PM
I cant' think of what I did to cause this?? This is the statement that I find troubling. First stop beating yourself up over it. What makes you think it was something you did? No matter what the reason, you need to find someone for YOU that accepts YOU for who YOU are. So what if something happened that turned him away, it was something he couldn't accept. Thats his problem, not yours.

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 600 (view)

People who just write how are you Posted: 7/30/2008 11:08:32 AM
If you can get women like that then whey are you crying that they don't answer your emails?? I don't think the poster or anyone else is crying if the email gets deleted. There may be the occasional jerk that takes offense to it, but the average guy will just move on and forget it. The crying in this thread began with the OP's statement People who just write how are you. Does anyone else find it kind of annoying to receive an email and all it says is "how are you?" and nothing else? The men in this forum (that has become a very unintellectual debate) are simply trying to enlighten the women that not all the ("Hi, how are you?") emails are sent in a mass distribution of desperation, attempting to get a nibble somewhere. Granted , we do realize there are some men that do this. However, to assume that anyone who does this is producing mass emails, is incorrectly profiling the sender of the email. Some of the ladies here seem to be keeping an open mind and learning that these emails shouldn't be taken as an insult. Just as I have learned from this and other similar threads, why many of my emails may have been deleted with no response. Unfortunately if it was read/deleted, I won't email them again. I don't hound anyone that doesn't won't to talk to me. Many of you ladies may be missing out on some great opportunities by being so demanding. Just as many of us men may be getting shot down by being uneducated in the art of approaching you. Most of us haven't taken net dating 101. Nice does not = long or complicated. No it doesn't. And "Hi, how are you?" does not = I haven't read your profile and I'm just mass emailing every woman on this site to see who will take the bait. Personally, if I sent any woman an email, I did read every word in her profile and genuinely liked what I read, or I wouldn't have emailed . And I don't sit here composing a copy/pasted emails that I shot out to a hundred different women

yajus neverno

Joined: 1/25/2008

Msg: 554 (view)

People who just write how are you Posted: 7/28/2008 3:39:55 PM
wow did you take that out of context "hi how are you" it's the email version of a grunt. here's the impression: troglodyte. knuckle-dragger. mouth-breather. uneducated and inarticulate bubba You’re talking about someone taking things out of context. You got all that out of "Hi, how are you?" And you know nothing at all about the person. I guess you'd slap the sh*t out of someone that said "Have a nice day." You posted a profile on a dating site, and it makes your skin crawl because the other person sent you a message without reading your mind. Maybe their new to this whole thing, and have no clue how you demand to be approached. Why not just accept it for what it is, someone found something about you attractive and they'd like to talk to you. To be fair, you're not a part of the same generation as the poster you're quoting purplerocks, I've also come to learn that it may also have a lot to do with location and culture. Just as a hand shake in this country is considered a friendly gesture, people in the Middle East are extremely offended by it. I've found that people in various parts of our own country may be offended by something we would view as being a friendly gesture. Whereas you and I are in the south, and we can walk up to a lady and say "thank you sweetie" she will most likely smile and return "well your welcome honey." A woman on the west coast will slap you for that. So it has a lot to do with culture of the area. There again, I just think people should be more accepting of others. If it was meant to be polite, why not accept it at that. Rather than getting offended over someone trying to be nice to you, and just going about in a way that doesn't meet your standards.

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