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rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 217 (view)

Does it matter if he lies about his age Posted: 5/3/2013 9:44:24 AM
What do people actually need limits for? Are they too dull to figure out whether they are interested in someone by either looking at some pictures, talking on the phone or meeting for a tea? I suppose if you are so stunningly gorgeous that you get hundreds of hits a day it might be useful, but I have not seen anyone on POF yet that has that kind of appeal....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

CRADLE SNATCHING Posted: 5/3/2013 7:24:44 AM
^^^^How true! Of course, its never evident which one will become the caregiver, and even if you take up with someone exactly your own age, its no guarantee you won't become a caregiver eventually anyway. I suspect that regardless of all the blather bandied about here, most people will go out with people that ask them out and with whom they feel happy..... Yes, you may look in specific segments of the population, but worrying about what will happen down the road is just a needless waste of your own life. It only ever takes 1 visit to a Doctor for an annual checkup to go from being a healthy person who is bound to live forever to a person with chronic medical issues, and you just never know when that day will come.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 95 (view)

over 50 then look at this Posted: 5/1/2013 5:45:58 AM
^^^^Well...if you need someone to help spend your money and share your pension, etc.........

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 176 (view)

I don't want to seem like a tease EVER, but I also don't want to seem like a 'loosey goosey' either. Posted: 4/10/2013 11:52:02 AM
Well, I can say I have paid quite a lot over the years for what were advertized as "quality, rechargeable batteries", but like everything else these days, the cost of getting rid of them when they stop functioning has made the whole idea uneconomical, to say the least..... Better to pick up a pack of 8 at the nearest meat market, whatever is on sale, and when they wear down, just pick up another....:)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 174 (view)

I don't want to seem like a tease EVER, but I also don't want to seem like a 'loosey goosey' either. Posted: 4/10/2013 10:19:35 AM
I don't know, Mr. D....my own experience with rechargeable batteries is that while you can use them again and again, they lack the staying of a brand new non-rechargeable one. Come to think of it, they are a lot like sexual partners in real life....the more you make use of them, the more fleeting the experience.....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 168 (view)

I don't want to seem like a tease EVER, but I also don't want to seem like a 'loosey goosey' either. Posted: 4/10/2013 8:31:21 AM
Ha! In this age group, every time you get into bed with someone could well be the last time it happens. :)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Why do Men of a Certain Age HATE Facebook? Posted: 4/8/2013 7:44:28 AM
The good thing about facebook is I have found and been found by all kinds of people I have not heard from for 40 odd years. The bad thing about facebook is that people who I have not heard from in 40 odd years have found me..... Is POF for finding dates?????

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

CRADLE SNATCHING Posted: 4/4/2013 10:14:05 AM
If you are worried about what other people think about relationships that make you happy, you should consider seeking counseling. Age differences may ultimately have an effect on you, but there is no guarantee that you won't check out before the other person you are being involved in, and you can't ensure living happily ever after by reading birth certificates. A this age group, you just can't expect to live forever after. Why limit your choices based on anything?

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Ain't Going to Happen.... now what? Posted: 2/27/2013 2:34:51 PM
It's all somebody else's fault. Far as I can tell, for 99.9% of the complainers on these forums, it IS somebody else's fault....for years and years and years.......

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Ain't Going to Happen.... now what? Posted: 2/27/2013 5:24:11 AM
Why would anyone at this age be seeking marriage? Been there, done that! But I love the strategy that Blonde Angel suggests....:)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

45 and feel so out of my depth about dating Posted: 2/7/2013 9:14:12 AM
Its really not a big problem. Think about how you treated your ex(es). Treat the women you meet better!

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

How Weird was this? Posted: 2/6/2013 11:59:20 AM
He took a look at you and decided that he was not interested.......rude, crude, but easy on him.....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 52 (view)

Relationship Goals.. Posted: 1/31/2013 12:56:40 PM
Many people who are in relationships have life goals. One of the BIG things being in a stable relationship does is give one time to pursue life goals. Many single people spend huge amounts of time (and money), to say nothing of the psychological resources, seeking a mate. If you have a steady mate, you may have one who wants to participate in your goals and dreams, and you may wish to participate in her goals and dreams. Both of you just have way more resources to follow your dreams because you are not spending those resources trying to find a relationship. No matter how low a priority you may declare the search for a partner, its probably not zero, and that means you are thinking about it, searching for someone, investing in new relationships, etc. All of which leaves less time and resources for doing what you really think you want to do.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Relationship Goals.. Posted: 1/31/2013 10:29:38 AM
Sorry, chancesrmd, I can't message you because of your mail setting. I'm too old. Try macleans.ca for the article....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Honesty Posted: 1/30/2013 5:30:37 AM
Some reports claim that 80 percent of participants on online dating sites lie about things in their profiles......... What then is the meaning of "honesty"?

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Relationship Goals.. Posted: 1/30/2013 5:19:40 AM
Many people have no problem spending most of their life (i.e 8 or more hours per day, traveling on business trips, lunches, dinners, and frequently in out of the office social relationships) with co-workers, but have enormous problems living with a "romantic interest" for more than several months. People spend 30 plus years with co-workers without any big problems, and don't regard the relationships as significant, yet can't make it 2 years with someone who they feel is part of a significant relationship. On the other hand, profile after profile shouts the desire for a "long term" relationship. When you really think about it, its completely crazy...... Of course, it also shows how motivation is a key factor in relationship success. You have to get along with co-workers if you want to hold on to your job, but, at least these days, there is no real need to find out how to get along with your romantic interest. You can, you believe, always find another romantic interest. No, I don't think I have got it wrong at all.....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Relationship Goals.. Posted: 1/29/2013 11:53:45 AM
Just read an article on online dating that cites some studies that indicate that searching for a soul mate is a strategy that is likely to result in never being able to enter into a relationship. The idea being that the combination of the perception of choice being unlimited and the elevated standards associated with what a soul mate should be like results in 100 percent rejection of candidates. The focus of some studies cited also indicate that compatibility and common interests are not good predictors of relationship success. My own view is that someone you can get along with and with whom you can tolerate their general behaviour is probably the secret to relationship success. Considering the length of time some people have been looking, as evidenced by their presence on this site, I am of the opinion that the soul mate strategy is probably basically counter productive.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

With a Little Help from Our Forum Friends? Posted: 1/24/2013 9:51:43 AM
I wonder about all the chemistry talk on these forums. I think it is clear that at least what I would call "Basic Chemistry" need to be there. You just won't consider someone who does not appeal to you in any way. However, beyond that, do we even know what "Chemistry" actually is, or is it all just a romanticized idea about what we think is the potential for true love. I suppose it true that you can meet someone who knocks your socks off, but there have been such incidents in life that resulted in a few months of intense physical interaction, only to fade with the end of Summer, etc. My own view is that a deep, long term love relationship takes years of bumps and slides, and is only evident in hindsight. Sitting around waiting for lightning to strike dreaming of how it will be at that moment is probably unrealistic. Mt. D above may well have a point.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

Ladies over 45 - go without sex? Posted: 1/22/2013 7:42:10 AM
Get a divorce, bullfrog12. You are not too old, and you have done you bit for 15 years. Life is too short to suffer even 1 minute in such a situation.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 234 (view)

Dating in our 50's Posted: 1/21/2013 9:41:45 AM
^^^^^The best lovers are the ones in your bed! That's reality!

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 180 (view)

Dating in our 50's Posted: 1/17/2013 7:20:41 AM
You know, ladies, men have the same experience on here as you do. I think its simply the experience of meeting the "public" as oppose to those in your own socio-economic class. The great unwashed masses are....unwashed.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

Why Bother? Posted: 1/16/2013 9:35:46 AM
Asking is the easy part...finding someone I want to ask is much harder..Lol Rearguard is jumping up and down waving his hands i the air...:)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 67 (view)

Why Bother? Posted: 1/16/2013 6:52:01 AM
The whole concept of men being less faithful than women is obviously ridiculous. Assuming it was true, exactly who are the women they are being unfaithful with? Are the only five promiscuous females in the world servicing the billions of cheating males out there? I really don't think so. I should be obvious that there are at least the same number of cheating women as there are cheating men. Any other theory results in absurd conclusions. Its probably biologically true that lifetime monogamy for humans is not hard wired into our DNA, as cheating is an age old story amongst us. Its not a male or a female thing. Its a human thing.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Why Bother? Posted: 1/16/2013 6:28:02 AM
I would say overall that women are more faithful than men. Too bad that research into the matter has shown time and again that the reverse is true. With married women, it is more marked than in the single ones. But let's not let any facts affect our opinions and beliefs. Granting that women claim to be more emotional than men (a crock as well), then why would you suspect that men would be less faithful to relationships? Clearly, emotional need drives women to seek satisfaction outside the relationship, something we men don't have the motivation for, according to your view of biology....... Oh, and by the way, women are just as interested in the physical aspects of relationships as men are. Sit around with a bunch of married women and listen to them complain about how they are not getting enough. I can say I have never been with a bunch of married/in relationship men who complained about not enough sex. Strange, don't you think, since we men are far more interested in the physical than women?

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 117 (view)

Dating in your 70s Posted: 1/15/2013 8:32:18 AM
"Old men are looking for a nurse or a purse," my active mother said. Well, I expect to be looking for the same thing as now: A willing woman who wants to make love mid-mornings on cold Winter days, and in the grass of a meadow with a nice view on warm Summer days. Spring and Fall venues negotiable....:) Now, if she happens to be a rich geriatric care nurse as well.....whats to complain about!

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 128 (view)

Dating in our 50's Posted: 1/14/2013 10:46:14 AM
^^^^^Are you implying that you don't consider a woman's financial situation when you dating? Hard to believe. It might not be the most important thing, but for any relationship lasting longer than a few weeks, I would bet it is a serious consideration, unless, of course, you have bags of money and can afford to carry the can all by yourself.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 347 (view)

skirt length when over 50 Posted: 1/13/2013 8:55:42 AM
I wonder how many guys here worry who about being judged when they dress every day. Well, in the warm weather, I do. If I wear my short shorts then the number of local ladies showing up with tuna casseroles gets out of hand. I can eat only so much of that stuff and when it starts to pile up in my fridge to the extent that there is not enough room for beer, I am forced into my knee length baggy shorts. And don't even get me started on what happens when I work outside without a t-shirt! In the cold weather, everyone is bundled up like an eskimo, so it doesn't much matter what you are wearing underneath. One reason I rather like Winter....:)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 314 (view)

skirt length when over 50 Posted: 1/11/2013 5:45:33 AM
No doubt about it, women should know their proper place in society and dress accordingly!

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 297 (view)

skirt length when over 50 Posted: 1/10/2013 4:18:47 AM
what if your 15 year old daughter wants to wear an extremely short skirt walking to school, o r to the bus stop ? Wow, are you living in someone's basement! Up this way the school uniforms are short to the stage that you would probably consider naughty. I don't think my daughter has ever worn a skirt below mid-thigh...... Hilarious........

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 292 (view)

skirt length when over 50 Posted: 1/9/2013 5:56:12 PM
For MOST women OVER 50, experts will tell you (as well as your own mother) that it looks pretty stupid to wear extremely short skirts and dresses Really? You knew anita's mother? I don't think so...... Experts? In what, exactly? This entire discussion is to me patently ridiculous. Skirt length is societal, a fashion trend, and has nothing to do with age. Women's legs look pretty much the same whatever they wear, and in hot places its shorts and swim suits most of the time, skirt length is short as well, unless there is a crazy fashion or cultural thing going on. What you are going on about is your own conservative background. There are loads of women who can flash a nice leg at any age. It depends on genetics, physical condition, attitude, personal taste and personal comfort.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 286 (view)

skirt length when over 50 Posted: 1/9/2013 10:50:00 AM
Nothing gets me going quicker than nice long legs and heels. The shorter the skirt the quicker the response. Of course, the legs need to be long and slender without varicose veins..... Age has nothing to do with it.....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

Dating in our 50's Posted: 1/8/2013 8:45:22 AM
Its basically good news that older women are interested in the carnal pleasures. After all, we will all eventually end up in bed with an older woman....if we are so lucky to last long enough. Its reassuring to know that it won't be tranquil in the bedroom in our old age....:)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 67 (view)

Higher expectations Posted: 1/4/2013 9:08:54 AM
Well, living by being scared is rather sad, and pointless when you think about it. Your previous decisions should be looked at as learning experiences, and you should take what you learned and try to do better in the future. Myself, I wonder if its just being lazy. The investment in a relationship results in a payoff that, when compared to the status quo, no longer seems worth the effort, and with so many options at little cost, why bother......

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

How old is too old for me? Im not a cub looking for a Cougar.. Posted: 1/4/2013 9:01:13 AM
If, when you are standing face to face, both of you want to close the gap between you, age is not relevant. Otherwise, its as good as any excuse.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 233 (view)

Are we getting harder as we get older? Posted: 12/31/2012 9:30:41 AM
What? People actually NEED dating sites to attract partners?????? My goodness, whatever did people do for the last million years before dating sites existed?

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

Higher expectations Posted: 12/31/2012 7:37:29 AM
^^^^Ah yes, the ultimate denial of responsibility for relationship outcomes....GOD did it! Nothing to do with our own peculiarities and decisions........I feel better already! Groan......

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

47 with a 3 year old at home Posted: 12/28/2012 8:06:23 AM
This does not appear to be a case for Rocket Science. If you don't want to get involved with men who have young kids, don't! Its not like he will be able to hide the the fact for very long. There are hordes of fine women who are quite ready to get into that kind of a situation, some with small children of their own. I don't really get the point of filling pages of complaints. Y'all need to get a life.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 211 (view)

skirt length when over 50 Posted: 12/21/2012 10:50:14 AM
As we all know, mae, unwrapping the presents is more than half the fun, and postpones the surprise.... Its what you find when the wrapping is finally all off that makes the labour worth it!

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 215 (view)

Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF? Posted: 12/20/2012 5:26:45 AM
Goodness, Rusty, what you describe has nothing to do with my own life. Its more like a mythical stereotype that can only exist in your own thinking. I have known any number of women who have given birth whose bodies are just ad desirable as any man could want, spent decades at the soccer field and changed countless diapers. I have to say that I was skeptical about the comments that you are hostile to men, but the above ptolemic certainly contributes to that kind of observation. Both men and women are, in my experience, morally weak, and raising children is a strain on both sexes which frequently results in one or both partners straying from the straight and narrow path of conventional family myth. Its all human weakness, and nothing is to be gained by blaming one sex or the other. Sex is, to my mind, ultimately tied to the reproductive process, and it is no surprise that sexual attractiveness is tied to the physical form of youth. In a sense, the sexual urge probably remains with us far too long in life after the reproductive phase is past, and that does result in behaviour that is, in men, focused on the younger females. Its not, however, universally the result that you describe. There are hordes of old geezers walking hand in hand with their long term mates in my neighbourhood, and none of them are hankering after young popseys except, perhaps, in the odd dream. If you are alone, I suggest that it is mostly because you prefer your life as it is, rather than any deep rooted male rejection of older women. In order to be with someone, you have to accept the disturbances and inconveniences of another in your life, and with age, for both men and women, that becomes harder and harder. The sexual drive does decline, and with that decline comes the change in the balance in priorities in life. At 20, getting laid at any cost was the rule. At 60, getting laid is nice, but being able to leave up the toilet seat is nicer.....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 182 (view)

Are we getting harder as we get older? Posted: 12/19/2012 6:33:00 AM
I hardly think the fact that a woman is sought after by other men is a factor in male thinking. The women who conduct themselves in a sexually provocative manner attract men. The men are all estimating their chances of making it with her, they are not needing the interest of other men to influence their thinking. If they notice other men in the pursuit, it might motivate them to more stringent efforts to succeed, but that is just natural competition for access to females. It should be no news that any woman who puts out the message that sex is likely to happen generates male interest, regardless of her other characteristics.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 207 (view)

Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF? Posted: 12/19/2012 6:20:49 AM
Trouble is, Rusty, it takes years to get a relationship to where you want to be. To get there, you got to start somewhere nowhere near your goal, and figure out how to keep it growing towards where you want to be. I doubt you will fine it falling out of the nearest tree.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 176 (view)

Are we getting harder as we get older? Posted: 12/18/2012 12:52:35 PM
Hard as you may find it to believe, abuse can reinforce the bond between people, just the same as a more endearing kind of behaviour can do. Its not only a statistical fact, its also been shown to be true by various research efforts. People don't like to believe, but, sadly, its a reality.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 215 (view)

Do successful men want higher maintenance women? Posted: 12/18/2012 7:58:56 AM
^^^^There are quite a lot of smart, aware and rational women on the site.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 164 (view)

Are we getting harder as we get older? Posted: 12/17/2012 5:28:03 AM
roll in the hey. I doubt that you will ever have one either.......at least not in the "hey"........ Quizz: How many POF forumites have graduated from elementary school?

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

Higher expectations Posted: 12/14/2012 9:24:36 AM
Well, I prefer tall women, so I guess my expectations are higher than average....:)

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 187 (view)

Do successful men want higher maintenance women? Posted: 12/14/2012 9:22:22 AM
I think that people generally dress the part they wish to play in life, and how they present themselves affects all aspects of their personalities and relationships. Is a person vain simply because they choose to be selective in their appearance? I hardly think so. The world is full of stereotypical images portrayed in the media and throughout the social and economic fabric of society. As an example, people in sales and marketing usually run around well dressed and groomed, while people in construction usually wear steel toed boots. As to what constitutes a high maintenance woman (or man), I think its all relative to the socio-economic context in which one lives. There is, for instance, no comparison between the costs of maintaining a fashionista/barbie doll and that of just about any woman that produces a couple of middle class children. The latter results in far more expense than do hair and makeup costs.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 327 (view)

Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s? Posted: 12/13/2012 2:44:21 PM
Of course, one of the things about people you meet in real life is that they are more likely to be doing things you do, so are more likely to be able to keep up with you, whatever that means....

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 324 (view)

Do Others find it harder to meet other people in their 50s? Posted: 12/13/2012 12:50:15 PM
Most of my own amusement for the forums derives from the plethora of women who think anyone older than 55 is a flabby old fart with ED...... I would bet none of them would be able to come anywhere near keeping up with me........

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 520 (view)

3 Strikes - out. No more widowers ! Posted: 12/12/2012 12:53:24 PM
While I certainly espouse Norm's sentiments, it is not necessarily true that a divorced person is there by choice. People do decide to divorce based on the position of only one of the partners. I think the difference between a widow/er and a divorcee is simply that the ex is still alive and possible very much around. That, I suspect, may be more of an impediment to new relationships than other factors. In any event, many, many of those who are divorced or widowed do find new relationships that are as satisfying as the good parts of the previous relationships were. At least in the case of widow/ers, there probably is not the memory of an antagonistic separation lingering, although there may well be the memory of protracted emotional pain associated with the passing of the other.

rearguard*2

Joined: 2/8/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Higher expectations Posted: 12/12/2012 12:42:05 PM
I don't think the conclusion is that marriage is the cause of longevity. The only observation proffered is the people in marriage relationships tend to live longer than those that don't. The reason that this is true statistically is not analyzed. I can think of many reasons why married people outlast single people, the general availability of close emotional and physical support being one of the more obvious aspects of marriage. As the generational argument, it may well be true that succeeding generations are living longer, but that in itself is irrelevant to the longevity statistics of couples.

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