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 Author Thread: What do 50+ men want?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 561 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/21/2015 1:06:59 PM

The thread is about what men 50+ want, and I haven't seen too many men mention they want someone who doesn't mind being around his kids, but IRL, I find this is often a requirement.


That is exactly true. Any man who has children will not be able to form a relationship that lasts with a woman who does not want to be involved at some reasonable level with his children. You would not expect a woman to shun her children for a man, so why would it not be the same with a man?

Of course, there is a large range of involvement between raising his kids and just contributing to a family life when his kids are around, and the level of involvement varies a lot depending on the situation. Is the ex around? Is she sharing the responsibilities and trying to provide a good experience for the kids? Many other questions come into play.

However, if she wants nothing to do with them or can't get along with them or resents their presence, best just move along and do the guy a big favor by getting out of his life.

In any case, its not a long term situation. Kids grow up quickly and move off.

Its also quite true that there are many men and women who are quite happy to be with partners who have children, and quite happy to participate in making a home for them. Its often a struggle, but with success, everybody lives happily ever after.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 555 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/21/2015 10:47:27 AM
Like...this is not a comedy club?

Duh!!!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 500 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/20/2015 11:51:37 AM
To say that women had, or have, less recourse than men if a marriage proved unsatisfactory to the woman is a statement that has to be studied withing the context of what is meant by a marriage. In the legal definition associated with property rights, succession and legal authority to act, there is no particular relevance to the emotional state of the parties. Its all about a deal concerned with the management of family assets, and as such, some set of rules had to be devised to handle the vagaries of life. You really have to look at the socio-economic context that existed when the rules were developed to decide what is "fair" or "unfair". Certainly, the rules changed slower than society, so there was and is bound to be conflicting views about how the partners are treated by the legal system.

In the West, there were kings, but there were also queens, and it would be hard to argue that the female monarchs did not have, or could not have, equal or greater influence on society and laws than did the men. For all kinds of reasons, there was a development of a social consensus and morality that combined to produce the laws of the time, and I don't think that at any point the body of society opposed those laws. Just because ideas have changed does not, to me, justify the cries of oppression that we often hear.

My own experience has been that the project of raising a family benefits enormously from a stable male/female relationship, and that even with all the modern conveniences of home automation, day care and education systems that take care of the children for most of the day for most of their young lives. I suspect that in the old days, not being a ccouple must have been a disaster for anyone with children to raise or a farm to run. Of course, the legal aspects of the marriage deal were designed so that capricious emotional developments would not destabilize the family economics.

If marriage had been formalized with no regard for property rights, solely based on emotions, I can't see how anything beyond relatively short term arrangements could have been codified, and short term is not something that dels successfully with children, unless you live in a tribal society that regards children as the responsibility of the tribe, not just the responsibility of the parents.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 497 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/20/2015 10:04:28 AM
Well, formal marriage is, in the West, a relatively recent phenomenon, and the legal aspects were and are still related largely to property rights. Laws define well being in terms of financial responsibility as if money, or lack of it, defines ones state of happiness.

Romantic freedom is a purely Western concept practiced mostly in the economically rich societies of the West. The idea that you form a family with someone you love is quite uncommon for the vast majority of people on the planet. We are all driven to mate and reproduce, and many societies arrange to extract the best long term benefit for the couple involved. Its pretty clear that decisions based on love and physical attraction are particularly poor, as evidenced by the divorce rate in the love based marriage cultures.

As to happiness, that is quite the question. Are the divorced people out there happier than the ones that make marriage successful? Somehow, I doubt that it is generally true, otherwise, who would remarry? Who would pump the billions of dollars into the dating site industry?

What does it mean to say you are happy? Its pretty clear that you know when you are unhappy, but who runs around daily noticing they are happy? Occasionally, yes, you do notice, but as a matter of routine?

Before property rights, or in the absence of anything valuable, marriage was an informal local arrangement between man and woman. Conditions of the times meant that death was the usual cause of separation. The parties entered in the arrangement out of necessity for survival. They were happier than being alone, but whether they were happy in the modern mythical sense, who knows. Certainly women wanted a male protector and men wanted children. Everything else is pure speculation.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 191 (view)
 
What is being reasonable and what is settling?
Posted: 5/19/2015 12:53:14 PM

'My son got your little tramp pregnant? Why heck, boys will be boys.'


Well, I never could understand why it was the boy who got the girl pregnant, like the girl had nothing to do with it, was a sort of victim. Any time I was ever with a female, she was an equal and active participant. This example does not really support your thesis. The implication is that the female is somehow weak, vulnerable and subordinate to the male. I think its a social illusion that this is the case. It always takes 2 to tango, in my experience.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 492 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/19/2015 12:16:52 PM

And yet . . . . here you still are . . . still looking.


Strange, I don't recognize your handle from way back. Could it be that you have been here using many different handles? Tsk, tsk.

And, who says I am looking? What do you know about me?

Men and women who are alone are so because they want to be more than they want to be in a relationship. If it was the opposite, they would just be in a relationship. Many of the forum participants are in relationships, and spend time here for entertainment.

As to my "pontificating", I just share my personal opinion based on my own experience. I usually don't get a lot of support for my views, largely, I think, because I believe that people are responsible for their own life situations, in most cases, and its just no fun to come out and say : "Hey, I'm here because I worked hard to get here!". Much easier to just rail against others for one's own predicament.

The vast majority of men and women have no problem forming and maintaining relationships. Its only the few who have issues. and I believe that they are self imposed issues in most cases.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
THE WORD TROLL SHOULD BE BANISHED FROM THIS SITE
Posted: 5/19/2015 10:53:53 AM
People, feeding the zoo animals is never a good thing. They just keep coming back for more.

Time was when you could vote for the continuance of a new thread. Has that gone away? This thread is clearly a candidate...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 484 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/19/2015 5:35:51 AM
I suppose that the reason that there are typically 7 to 10 times the number of men on dating sites seeking women is that so many men dislike women. Otherwise, I would imaging there would be even more men than women on these sites.....

What a load of crap!

The vast majority of men just love women, and want to be with one.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 80 (view)
 
What is being reasonable and what is settling?
Posted: 5/14/2015 5:09:27 AM
The alternative to taking the attitude "Its all HIS fault" is "Its all MY fault", or at least "Its at least partially MY fault".

Well now, exactly who is going to embrace the alternative? That won't make you feel happy at all!

That would mean that you are not completely and totally perfect!

That would mean that you have to work on yourself!

That would mean that the world isn't full of creeps, wierdos, perverts, selfish heartless egotists who hate women!

OH NO!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 62 (view)
 
What is being reasonable and what is settling?
Posted: 5/13/2015 11:41:11 AM
The myth that men, in general, do not accept women as equals, is clearly false. The vast majority of men on the planet bind their lives to a woman, and as partners they go through the cycle of life until one or the other dies or otherwise departs. At that point the remaining partner is sad, depressed, desolate, forlorn and to a degree, in some cases, so severely that they themselves die.

Yet, here is endless blather about men not accepting women as equals. Its all self-serving hogwash.

Yes, there are men and women who for whatever reason take a view that their partners are not their equals. There are many societies built on structures of inequality. At the individual level, however, it is clear that a successful man/woman partnership is based on a fundamental understanding that each are equal partners in the endeavour.

As to the majority of mature (or any group of) men being uncomfortable with women, how can any credence be given to such a thought when the majority of men live in male/female relationships for virtually all of their lives. The idea is obviously a load of crap fostered by basically dysfunctional people to make themselves feel good about themselves.

Okay, you are older, and the hormones driving the mating phenomenon have waned, and your emotional state is telling you that it would be nice to have someone to be with but you no longer have the burning need to do something about it. All that has nothing to do with pop culture myths. It has to do with biology, your biology to be exact.

The single older women I know, and I know quite a few, literally beat off suitors, not because of any particular unsuitability of the candidates, but because they are comfortable in their lives and social circles, and can't be bothered to disrupt them for anyone. Perfectly normal and perfectly acceptable, but nothing to do with men being uncomfortable with women, men being intimidated by women or with any of the other clap-trap being proffered here about "The majority of men", or women, for that matter.

If what is important to you is to have a mate, you can have one within hours. The amount of time it takes you to land one is only a reflection of how important you feel it is to you.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What is being reasonable and what is settling?
Posted: 5/12/2015 7:14:40 AM
First of all, any person can and will survive on their own, unless prevented from doing so by some kind of external or physical constraint. Those that think they can't are people who need psychological help.

Secondly, if your communication to potential partners is: "Hey, I am super fine by myself, I love my freedom, and if you 'don't feel like going my way, good luck to you because I don't change directions for anyone!", if should surprise you not that those potential partners drift away. Its a facile self indulgence to ascribe the results to some defect in their personality, like "My strength and independence are intimidating to some older men. ". They are not intimidates at all. They just get your message and instead of beating their heads against your wall, they respect your values and move along to someone with the message: "I want to build a life with a partner, and I want do do what it takes to be with someone that makes me happy!"

Its always easier to blame the others in your life for your own failings. However, its never a good way to build a life.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What is being reasonable and what is settling?
Posted: 5/12/2015 5:43:25 AM
I am not stuck, trapped or limited in any way, either in R/L or elsewhere. I am alive, I can get out of bed in the morning by myself, and people appear to like interacting with me in many contexts. All good.

In a relationship, I never settle for anything except my idea of perfection as the moment. I can't see any other useful approach. Its like when you have a speck of sand in your sandal. You can still walk along for a while, but sooner or later you just have to shake it out.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 178 (view)
 
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 5/9/2015 5:19:50 PM
My question is: What kind of relationships have you participated in to have such broadly negative experiences with others? Never in my life have I lived such negative experiences, aside from in the relatively short lived throws of divorce.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 444 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/9/2015 5:17:07 PM
Oh yes, women of any age want that stuff. Reading skills are so evidently lacking in forum posters. I wonder why?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 726 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:51:30 PM

Maybe he'll come back as a woman......seems to be a trend.


There used to be a guy on IRC that spent years presenting himself as a woman. A guy from Florida, actually. Maybe its the same guy.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 725 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/7/2015 4:48:51 PM
Awwww...does this mean this thread is dead?

Surely he will come back on a new thread with a new handle....:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Friends first or move toward romance
Posted: 5/7/2015 12:41:44 PM
^^^^^^That is just not true. If you want you can date and have sex with as many women as you can handle, and keep on that way until you get bored with it all. Its really up to you how you want to behave, and you will find, amazingly, no paucity of partners.....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 440 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:39:40 PM
As I have said many times in these forums, a relationship is a creative endeavour. The partners create a future that they both want, if the relationship works. If it doesn't work, they split.

Beforehand, one may have certain expectations of a relationship, however, it takes an intimate interaction to settle the dynamic of the relationship, and it is not at all clear before that happens exactly how the partners will act together to create the dynamic. A trivial example is to be seen when a smoker meets a non-smoker. They bind, and while beforehand the non-smoker may have had the position "I will never live with a smoker!" and the smoker may have had the position "I won't be with anyone who won't accept me as I am!", you can then see a relationship in which, possibly, neither smokes, or both smoke, or each continues along the way they were with consideration of the other's wishes implemented in some negotiated way (The smoker does not smoke in the house or in the presence of the non-smoker).

So, before hand, a barrier to the relationship appeared to be terminal, however, love conquered all, and they lived happily ever after. They created their own happiness.

There is no evidence that women and men are from different planets. There is only the biologically imposed requirements for the survival of the species.

And yes, I am keenly aware of what women 50+ want. I have been for decades. They want respect, companionship, communication, affection, devotion and love, as well as a partner who gets along with their family.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 649 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:26:34 PM
Its pretty obvious to me that there is no such thing as "free speech". There is only a current fad in political correctness that waxes and wanes with current social and economic conditions. As long as your proverbial "skirt" is the right length, you can say what you wish, but if its not, you can expect vitriolic responses.

And I am not just talking about the forums. In real life, hardly anyone actually knows what the "truth" actually is, and most of what people understand of the "truth" is simply common, contextual belief, largely created and manipulated by political and economic interests local to your social group. Whatever is your "truth" today will not be your "truth" tomorrow, and whatever opinion you voice today will appear to you to be naive in a few short years.

Just think of "Power to the People" of our youth, and how it was so right to bail out Wall Street after they ripped off just about everybody!

So, blab away all you want. Say the wrong thing and storm troopers will be at your door before you know it, and if not them, radical looneys will be after you.

I do know that some people get booted from these forums, but I have never been able to figure out the process, other than aggravating one of the moderators.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 647 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:14:01 PM
This is a video game for bored adults. Whatever happens is quite devoid of any relationship to real life behaviour. People don;t come here for dates, they come here to entertain and be entertained.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
What happened to Evow?
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:08:37 PM
It did have some relatively stupid scammers. Probably became too much of a problem to clean up. So much for a serious relationships site....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 438 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:04:06 PM
Mostly, I find it amazing that women in the 50+ group would have to ask what men want. Where have you all been for the past decades? In an all women's environment? A nunnery perhaps?

You would think that daily life would have thrown up enough examples of men and what they want for it all to be pretty familiar by now. Unless you purposely buried your collective heads in the sand some how.

While the details might vary, men want someone who they can stand living with, who they can be in love with, and who they find interesting to spend their time with. Women, I presume, want the same.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 643 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:56:38 AM
I wonder, has anybody not thought about the fact that the original OP departed after pages of having fun stirring the pot, and about a short time later freethunker arrived to start having fun stirring the pot?

Just a coincidence, I suppose.......

Still, it does look to me like cage rattling by the same person, albeit with a somewhat different tactic.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 563 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 5/4/2015 7:02:57 AM
These days what with it now being routine to examine people's facebook, twitter, and other online accounts for everything from job interviews to volunteer positions, you have to be a complete moron to post pictures on the net in any place at all. Try the google image search feature if you still believe you have any privacy at all on the net.

Having had my own pic stolen and used in the past, I now, and for some years, only post pics to individuals who I actually know. I don't need an excuse. I know exactly what I am doing and why.

The whole idea of the use of handles is laughable. If you post a pic, you may as well use the full name on your birth certificate along with your phone number, postal code and home address if you have ever put your pic on the net for anything, or even if someone else has done so.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 331 (view)
 
The False when being Accepted
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:46:09 AM
I solved the rejection issue on dating sites by simply never approaching any of the women on the site. I just respond to the messages women send me.

Case closed.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 384 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/24/2015 5:36:23 AM
Well, nobody is saying that food is better than sex, just more of a priority. Given you are not hungry, your attention will turn to other interests, sex being one of the more impelling.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 382 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/23/2015 4:01:32 PM
TK, you make my point. You will suffer sexual deprivation for years with a quiet lament, but you would do anything to make sure that breakfast, lunch and supper, possibly tea as well, were available to you every day.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 387 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/23/2015 1:06:33 PM
What hogwash! The journey ends when you expire, and if you have it all figured out by 40, what are you doing for the next 50 odd years? Replaying your old vinyl? Repeating your previous mistakes? Bus tours?

I learn stuff every day, and I dread the day when I no longer can. Until then, its into the dark seeking the light in whatever field I am interested in.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 380 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:01:42 PM
^^^^Nope, I am just as horny as I was in my 20s. However, I was always more attracted to food ahead of sex. What is unfortunate is that the more secure a relationship happens to be, the less sexual motivation is manifest. However, you still get hungry 3 times a day, no matter how secure your relationship happens to be....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Hidden Profile
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:55:39 AM
An easy solution is not post your pic.

An easier solution is just keep your profile hidden, and always act first.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 319 (view)
 
The False when being Accepted
Posted: 4/23/2015 7:38:16 AM
Hmmmm....I don't think of these responses as being accepted. Certainly they can be dishonest, but to me, any kind of qualification about the pregress of a relationship causes me to conclude that the field is fertile elsewhere. Those who find it otherwise are letting themselves in for disappointment.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 315 (view)
 
The False when being Accepted
Posted: 4/23/2015 7:20:23 AM
^^^^What can that possibly mean? How could that possibly happen?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 197 (view)
 
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 7:05:31 AM
To me its clear that from the point of view of the species, men and women are driven to bind, at least briefly. Its been said many times that nobody dies from a lack of sex, however, there are loads of benefits to settling down with a more or less long term partner. Of course there are always ways of compensating for the lack of a steady partner, but let's face it, they all have risks that are at least equal to those involved in having a partner, and they are generally less convenient and more expensive.

Its completely vacuous to say you don't "need" a partner. Of course nobody actually does "need" one, however, we are all driven to it at some level by the biology and the labour of the single life. It takes both courage and determination to live alone. Its just so much easier to not live that way.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 374 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/23/2015 5:32:18 AM
^^^^^Well, actually its food, food, food, and then money for more food. We will participate in sexual activity if its absolutely necessary to keep the food coming.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 363 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/21/2015 10:51:01 AM
Wow!. You must really be into older women! Lois and Lana must be well into the 90's by now......
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 360 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/21/2015 10:41:48 AM

During the day I'm Clark Kent and at I might I'm Hank Moody :)


Well, if you are trying to keep your real identity secret, you are doing a lousy job.....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 273 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/19/2015 12:16:32 PM

I don't think the OP is legit.


Duh!......

As I said, its a video game for bored adults, and the OP certainly enjoys stirring the pot!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 233 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/19/2015 5:39:07 AM
What I think is lost on many is that for all of human history marriage was a partnership entered into willingly by both partners to make survival easier. It turned out that division of labour is more efficient and effective than individuals becoming proficient in everything, and people rapidly discovered this fact. In the days of my own parents, operation of a household with children required either a lot of money and servants or the dedication of one partner to the slavery of the home, the other to the slavery of the job. Neither task particularly enjoyable but both necessary.

Once all we horrible men invented automatic home appliances, things changed dramatically. I well remember discovering, following a divorce, that I was, on my own, perfectly capable of keeping a suburban home running simply because of automatic washing/drying, automatic heating, programmable cooking equipment, no-iron clothes and bedding, and reliable refrigeration. My Mother, on the other hand, has to stoke the coal furnace and kitchen range, use a ringer washer, hang the laundry, iron the clothing and sheets, and use an ice box, meaning regular shopping trips (walking) to manage the meals.

No surprise at all about women being unhappy with the drudgery nor the boredom brought on by all those horrid men inventing modern conveniences. Do we men just love heading off to the warehouse for 10 hours of shifting palettes or extracting coal from the mine pit or standing under a car hoist with crap falling on us from a leaky transmission? Oh yes, there is nothing we would rather do.

Society changed, largely due to technology, and most younger people (under 50) have never known what was involved in any kind of struggle to survive. Old patterns became obsolete, and of course the roles of both men and women had to change. Womens liberation is a description of the change adopted for political purposes, and it was neither good nor bad. It was and is about learning how men and women will go forward.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 363 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/18/2015 10:12:49 AM
For me, the less "war paint" the better. I lead a "normal" life and seek a "normal" looking woman to lead it with.

For me, its what you see in the morning that matters, although I am sure many like the painted look. I think you spend most of the time with a woman that has not done herself up to any great extent. I don't find slobs attractive, but clean natural look gets my attention every time.

Dress like who you want to attract. I will chat up any woman I find attractive, anywhere, anytime.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 173 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/17/2015 9:15:08 AM

Do you mean a successful relationship has nothing to do with fate magically matching two people who are perfect for each other


Yep. That is what I mean. Its the reason I have no restrictions on who can contact me, and why I would never sign up to a paid site. All this red flag stuff is about you, not about the others.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 170 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/17/2015 6:24:37 AM
I think the point being missed here is that relationships are a creative endeavour. The two of you create what is the relationship. Its not something that is done to you or something that is governed by one or the other half of the couple. Its a joint project, and it succeeds or fails based on the decisions and actions of the partners.

What another person is like opens the door to initial appeal, but once in bed together, the rest is what you both create.

You can probably live happily ever after with anybody if both of you can and do dedicate yourselves completely to making your partner happy.

Its called love.......
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 361 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/17/2015 4:48:21 AM
You find the perfect mate amongst the people you get to meet in life. Historically, most people found a mate within a 2 mile radius of where they were born. Today, with the internet, you can meet people scattered over the world, so, you find the perfect mate in Australia or Buenos Aires. The issue is you decide on who is perfect. There are loads of "good ones" within walking distance, but you will never find them on the net. You have to get out and walk.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 130 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/16/2015 10:00:12 AM

I think some bitter grapes in here.


Wow! And they say there is no hard evidence of visits by extra-terrestrials!

Frankly, if I was in a relationship with a person who spent paragraphs extolling my virtues to complete strangers on the internet, I would wonder about the reasons that person felt the need to do so. Any person I am in a relationship with is, in my opinion, just exactly what I think is perfect for me at that time, and I could care less about impressing others, especially others I don't know personally, by lauding my partner's qualities, financial assets or any other aspects of that person.

To be quite plain, I could care less about your opinions about my SO. I don't need the approval of stranger to justify my decisions as to my relationships.

When I see repeated, extensive elaboration by someone about their SO, all I think is that that person is very insecure about the way they are perceived.

To me its like the guys that feel they have to insist their g/fs always dress in a flashy/sexy manner whenever they go out in public. Loving their woman is not enough. They need to feel justified in the envy or others. Its objectification. Its degrading. Its sexist. Its appalling.

I am glad that people find their ideal SO. I hope that things work out to their expectations. I have seen the kind of pattern I see here before, and I think it only indicates some form of social insecurity, and a pretty bad form if one depends on the opinions of strangers from across the world to feel good about ones SO.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 126 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/16/2015 7:45:45 AM
All this stuff about hundreds of meets, (dates? suitors?...) appears to apply equally to both the male and female elements in this thread. Need to move on from the judgmental aspects, IMO. If it takes hundreds, it only means you are very selective (you should be) and not in any hurry. So what?

I do think it somewhat odd, however, to see posters going on at length as to how wonderful their SO is. I mean, stating that the person is a perfect fit is one thing, but going into minute details of personal interaction? Make it sound hollow, somehow.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 124 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/16/2015 7:37:57 AM
No, no. You don't want to rumble with motown.....

Or anybody else for that matter. This is a video game for bored adults.....keep perspective.....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 90 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/15/2015 12:54:07 PM
Of course, I always wish for the best for people, but I do confess to being leery of those who profess loudly as to how wonderful their life is going to be. I have seen more than a few on POF whose dreams failed to manifest in reality.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 72 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/15/2015 7:37:57 AM
Well, I think that the idea of being entitled would be better described as a feeling about what a person thinks is suitable for them in a relationship. The word itself has problems. Generally, I think along the same lines as you do, mowtown.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 70 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/15/2015 7:19:58 AM

i guess you didn't get that i was being facetious


Oh yeah, I got it. Its the entire thread that is bizarre, so I just thought to try to inject some sanity. I figure everybody gets pretty much exactly what they are entitled to as most keep trying until they do. People have to realize that it isn't someone else's fault for whatever. Its either your fault, or nobody's fault.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
 
what is more important to the older woman in a boyfriend?
Posted: 4/15/2015 6:55:05 AM

i'm entitled to a wealthy man myself.


Hmmmm...let's say you find one and land him. What, exactly would you do with him? Go shopping all the time with his credit card? Hire a permanent car service? Become a high maintenance woman? Join the jet set?

Personally, I find that beyond the amount of money needed to live comfortably, all the rest of that stuff is of really little interest at this age. I have shopped, flown, been driven, eaten out and whatever to the extent that I really find it all bores me to tears. Having someone to bike, hike, jog, swim, sail, ski and cuddle up to on cold nights is much more interesting, and "rich" doesn't really add much to those aspects, although "poor" might be a bit of a constraint in some instances.

As to "few and far apart", I find that if you do lead an active lifestyle, you are literally tripping over active women all the time, if, indeed, you are in good enough shape to keep up with them. Otherwise, you have to wait until one slows down a bit so you can make a move......
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 347 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 4/14/2015 5:47:33 AM
The simple fact is that young beautiful women eventually want to have children in the usual course of events. Some older men actually do wish to have second or third families, so they are pretty well stuck with funding a young beautiful mate. However, I believe that once you have done 1 batch of children, you really would prefer to not do another batch, and in that context, you want either a young beautiful woman that is sterile, or more reasonably, a post-menopausal female that you can relate to, talk with, share experiences with and who will make a future together with you. Yes, playboy models appeal to the eye, but you really would not want them for more than a wild weekend or so....
 
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