Casual sex turns long term who else has experienced this? chat & forums.

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theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Casual sex turns long term who else has experienced this? Posted: 5/22/2008 4:56:37 AM
I can't say it lasted a long time, but I did have a sex only relationship escalate rapidly to a full on relationship in about two weeks. It actually ended up being my favorite relationship I've ever had. We noticed we were doing all the things your supposed to do in a relationship anyway, so we went with it. It lasted several months and was very pleasant. I don't know about getting rid of the mail filters, I'm on the fence there. On the other hand, I think people mis-use the filters. I have some major issues with the whole system here. I notice some LTR people that block people who are looking for Dating. How are you supposed to get to a LTR if you don't date? But I'm an open person, maybe too open and relaxed to understand their point of view.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

homophobic someone define this for me Posted: 5/17/2008 9:56:39 AM
I believe homophobia is an irrational fear of the homosexual. I mean that literally, fear of the homosexual. Not things that can be perceived as something a homosexual would DO or SAY..actually being terrified by the thought/existence of homosexuals. Now, some people are terrified that people will perceive them as a homosexual. I do not think that is homophobia..I'm sure it's some ridiculous thing ending in "phobia". My two cents.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

What exactly does Dating mean? Posted: 5/16/2008 2:45:15 PM
I can only define what dating means to me. To me, dating is spending time with someone. Getting to know them with the clear intent of eventually having a relationship. But here's the thing, many people have replied and thrown their support behind stating what you eventually want in a relationship: the end goal. I,personally, do want a LTR. But I feel too many people say LTR and mean RIGHT NOW. So, in my view, it should be the IMMEDIATE goal that we should ask for. And at the same time, I'm plenty flexible. When I say "dating" I mean, "Let's get to know each other." To clarify, when I go out with a friend it's a date. (Almost all of my friends are women, so when I'm out with one of my few guy friends it becomes "hanging out". Yeah, it's a double standard lol) If it's a woman I'm interested for a romantic relationship, it becomes a "romantic date". This is our problem, we all are have different goals and things will often mean different things to different people. If I ever have a question, I will ask a woman what she means by something. This is what has to be done to make any relationship work, and sometimes we lose sight of that. Even those of us that know better!

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :) Posted: 5/13/2008 3:55:58 AM
Well, I like to text message. A lot of my friends work at night like me, and with my job I can't really call you while I'm working. I'd be calling you every 20 minutes or so just to have one conversation. I actually love to talk on the phone too. It just doesn't fit in my life style. I'm a little offended that I'm being called rude when I try very hard to be polite.....but at the same time that is your opinion and you are entitled to it without question. EDITED TO ADD (FYI: It's not that nona called me rude specifically, it's just that I AM lumped into a category of people she had DEEMED to be rude. I'm not taking it as a personal attack, and I hope my post doesn't come off as one either.)

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 233 (view)

Why do women who show cleavage get upset when a guy stares at their breasts? Posted: 5/13/2008 3:48:39 AM
I always look a woman in the eyes. I have excellent peripheral vision, despite the glasses. Yeah, I'm going to look. It's not always "WOW! BOOBIES!" sometimes it's "Dear God what a train wreck." I think there's a breakdown of logic with some women. "Hmm, this shirt makes me look good. Shows a lot of cleavage but isn't trashy." Which is why she wears it. Unfortunately, when a guy admires he choice of clothing it can turn into "WTF? He's staring at my tits like I'm a whore!" I'll probably lose what little of my Man Card I have left for this, but I go shopping with women. And more often than not, women pick shirts/blouses/tops/sweaters etc that will show off cleavage, comment on the fact that it does so and buy said article for that reason. As a guy, I buy my clothes because they make me comfortable first, and how they make me look second. This has been the case with only one woman I know, all the others are in reverse order of that. But also, leering at a woman is not acceptable. Go ahead, take a glance and either move on or say "Hi". I usually say hi so that the woman knows I'm acknowledging the person attached to the mammaries. I get a lot of weird looks and then usually a pretty sweet smile out of it, and on occasion it strikes up a conversation. So yeah, I'm going to look. And I'll probably let you know I was looking without resorting to "NICE RACK!". I don't think there's anything wrong with my approach.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Would prefer witty conversation on here rather than sex talk! Posted: 5/13/2008 2:40:21 AM
I mention sex in my profile, just putting that out there ahead of time. But even the women seem to want to focus pretty heavily on sex, usually how much they don't want to talk about it. It often ends up with them detailing their favorite sexual posistions and occasionally sending me nude pictures of themselves. I really love to have a wonderful chat, it's intellectually stimulating. But as I said somewhere else, I've been in the middle of many intellectually stimulating conversations only to have the woman dissapear. I think maybe I don't mention sex enough, actually. There must be something wrong with me if that's the case.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Does anal sex count? Posted: 5/13/2008 1:22:52 AM
Eh, I don't know. I went through a pretty slutty time in my life about 11 years ago. My promiscuity over that short time was Herculean. I tended to only count the vaginal intercourse I could remember as sex. Although these days I do include any sexual activity involving penetration as sex. I learned self control. That and I'm always sober when I do anything now. Much easier to remember what you've done when your brain isn't drowning in alchohol, you know? In fairness, I really think ALL penetration should be counted as sex. I think I just ignored the oral and anal sex I had to make myself feel better about it. And again, I was hammered most of the time during that period. Everything since then has counted. As it should.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Just Plain Bad Humor! Posted: 5/12/2008 8:01:16 PM
Eh, I'm actually pretty sarcastic and dry sometimes. But if I say something, I own it. If it offends or insults someone I will apoligize and adjust my behaviour accordingly. But I will not pretend it should have been ok. If I think the person is being unreasonable then I cut them loose. When I was younger, in high school, my then girlfriend broke up with me because of the following exhchange. "I'm trying to quit smoking, to make my parents happy." "Really? Like that's going to happen." It hurt her feelings, she never confronted me with it. She just broke up with me. FYI, she never did quit smoking. If she had asked, I would have told her that I couldn't support her making a decison for any reason other than doing what she wanted. And yes, I can see how that upset her a lot. These days, that exchange would have been a lot different. In any event, you have to own what you say and phrase things in a manner you can live with. Never back pedal, don't make excuses. OWN IT.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

What do people think of a girl at a bar alone? Posted: 5/12/2008 2:55:03 PM
uglybetty, Pissed = drunk As in, "I went to the bar with Big Mike and Kimmi and they got pissed, but I drank more and wasn't nearly so." And I'm sorry, but I've yet to see a woman be descended upon by ravenous men in a bar.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

It's all about me? Posted: 5/12/2008 12:36:27 PM
OP, I don't think you expect too much. I'm guessing you THINK too much. If I set down and decide that it's going to take me forever to get off, then it'll take me forever to get off. If I convince myself I won't get off? Then I don't. An ex girlfriend of mine once told me it took her 45 minutes of sex to have an orgasm. So I asked her what other ways got her off quicker. She said stimulating her clitoris orally and fingering her. So I did that. She was about to orgasm and STOPPED me. She was so locked in to her frame of mind that she couldn't even fathom having an orgasm with anyone other than herself. It utterly freaked her out. Also, not a good idea to tell a guy "It takes me X amount of time to have an orgasm." It's sex, don't put someone on the clock. I'm willing to bet you intimidate your partners and they just kind of give up. None the less, I really hope you can figure out something that'll work for you. My suggestion is to throw away everything your doing now..including using a vibrator. If what you're doing isn't working, do something else.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

A guy i had met on here.....Please Help me Understand :) Posted: 5/12/2008 3:14:56 AM
From the way you make it sound, I gathered two things. 1. Wow, he seems pretty lucky to have met you. 2. Wow, he seems pretty disenginous (sic). When you really want to take it slow, you TAKE IT SLOW. I don't think you did anything wrong per se, I think you just made a tactical error. If somebody lays out rules for a relationship and you agree, stick by them. So he said, "Let's take it slow" and then wanted to speed up. You should have probably said "No." Again, you didn't do anything wrong, I just think you took your head out of the game and made a play that didn't quite work out. And him stalling out on communication? Inexcusable. He could at least say, "Hey I'm busy, but I'll get back to you."

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

A man and his ego Posted: 5/12/2008 3:04:14 AM
It's a blow to anyone's ego to be rejected. Male of female. As for acting out of spite? That's something I have never understood. All I can say is some of us aren't very mature. Me? I don't mind getting rejected much. It just eliminates anouther woman from my list of potential partners. I do mind being led on, and I do react badly to that.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Sexual performance......... Posted: 5/12/2008 2:54:18 AM
Indeed, the old penis deflating condom. It happens to me too, especially when I try to hurry. If I have too much trouble, I just have my partner help me.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Staying friends with someone you have feelings for Posted: 5/11/2008 11:58:03 PM
I'm good friends with a woman who is absolutely everything I've ever wanted. It's not very easy. We talk everyday, a lot, and I honestly know that I love her. Like I said, it's not easy. But we were friends first and I value that above anything else. (I edited because I butchered the english language.)

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

So I met this girl... Posted: 5/11/2008 11:53:32 PM
Drop the water sports and the man on man and I'm there. But since she IS crazy, running like hell is a good choice.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Sexual performance......... Posted: 5/11/2008 11:43:33 PM
I don't always ejaculate, except with one woman from last year. (Last year was a great year for me, apparently!) I don't ever feel any pressure, and I don't put any pressure on my partner.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

So I met this girl... Posted: 5/11/2008 11:36:37 PM
Wow, that's some pretty messed up stuff. The sad thing is, if she could take a couple of steps left of crazy, I'd totally dig her.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

The slut factor Posted: 5/11/2008 11:19:14 PM
Not to speak for anyone else, I'm just generalizing, but often times what we WANT and what we are ATTRACTED to don't match up. That's what I got from it and I think it fits in to this thread. I want a mature, yes older, woman who can stimulate me intellectually and has volumes of life experience. I'm attracted (meaning drawn to) women my own age who fit none of those criteria. I have no way of explaining that. Even though I find the the former sexy, I tend to get pulled in by the cute girls my age. Perhaps that's just me wanting there to be more to them...

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

woman playing games Posted: 5/11/2008 11:08:57 PM
I don't think it's as drastic as a bow and arrow vs a tank. It's more like a Sherman tank against a Bradley. I agree with the posters who said he should have met her at the door. It would have let her know the night was about the TWO of them. Still, I think the "You didn't pay, you're a jerk" stuff is BS. Which, to me, means the "no chemistry" is also BS. You can't be full of crap about one thing and then be straightforward about another.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

What do people think of a girl at a bar alone? Posted: 5/11/2008 10:59:56 PM
If I see a girl at a bar alone, I'll watch her for a few minutes. If she's downing drinks left and right, I'll ignore her. If she's looking around and nursing her drink? If I find her attractive, which means smiling and generally happy looking, I'll walk up and say hi. Plus, I know attractive women have a hard time getting men to ask them out. As long as that attractive woman is dealing with the pressure in a positive way, I'm game and see nothing wrong with it. On the other hand, if she's dealing with the frustration by getting pissed, I'm moving right by her. No matter what she looks like. My friend does that, she'll go to a bar..no one will talk to her and she'll get so pissed she's in the bathroom throwing up for an hour. It's a shame, because she's really quite pretty and charming otherwise.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

The slut factor Posted: 5/11/2008 10:51:23 PM
There IS a huge difference between slutty and sexy. It's just that sexy is easier to find in a slutty woman up front. Sexy is "I want you" slutty is "I want to ** you". The first one takes time, the second one less so. I dated a very attractive, very nice woman last year who I didnt find sexy at all. I was a little worried...and then one day she flipped a switch and went from "I want you" to "I want to ** you" and I never had the problem again. I should point out I didn't find her sexy before we were dating. I just couldn't sexualize her at all. So I must amend my comments from earlier. If you take the the time to get to know a woman and then begin a relationship and still don't find her sexy? THEN you should end it. But give them a chance first.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

The slut factor Posted: 5/11/2008 10:20:49 PM
Actually, The slut factor is an appropriate title for this thread. I'm sorry, but there is something to be said for slutty/trashy women. And that something is this: They are doing a wonderful thing. I mean, why look down on them? A slutty heterosexual woman is going to make a lot of guys happy and I for one have no problem with that. I just wouldn't marry her unless she changed. I think the OP was making the case some really nice, attractive wonderful women aren't sexy. Meanwhile, the down and dirty "Let me suck your****in a public restroom" types ARE sexy sometimes. Having played on both sides of that fence, I know I prefer a combination of both. A woman I can really talk to, introduce my family to and who will also be willing to do the aforementiond lavatory fellatio. A lot of us men say we want a woman who is a lady in the world and a whore between the sheets. There's only one problem with that. How the hell do you think she gets that way?! If you find a nice, attractive woman and your aren't turned on sexually by her..just leave it alone. It won't work out. Like I said, I need a combination of both and the only reason I care about who she's been with? If she hasn't been with ENOUGH people.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive? Posted: 5/11/2008 10:32:23 AM
Sorry OP, no way I could do that. I pretty much need to have some sort of sexual activity everytime I see my partner. Hence why I don't want to live with someone. I didn't used to be that way, and it isn't a misogynistic thing. I just got spoiled by a couple of women last year. I'm throwing my support into finding new medications that will help you not lose your drive. But also, it's most important that you maintain your treatment. Anything else, not nearly as important.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Are there pros and cons of dating a woman with much older ‘children’? Posted: 5/11/2008 12:56:39 AM
OP, I'm taking a wild guess your post isn't aimed at guys like me. But I'll take a crack at it anyway. Pro: All of the issues that come with having young children are out the window. No waking up to feed them, change them etc. No scheduling around them. There is freedom in a woman with a self sufficient child(ren). Con: If the children don't like you, it can be a bigger problem. Because they're adults, the parent will probably add more weight to their complaints and feelings. Also, they can be more cunning in how to keep you apart. Additional drawback if I were dating the OP: We'd probably have a lot in common, considering my age is right between the OP's children. I've dated a woman with children around my age, and it was awkward. Because I could communicate with her daughter on a generally even level. Then I'd flip a switch when it came to my partner and communicate on a level I'm more accustomed to. It kind of wore me out, you know?

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

What's wrong with a little biting? Posted: 5/11/2008 12:47:33 AM
Haha, that's a good point! But sometimes, it just happens. I also prefer not to be marked, at least visually. If my woman thinks she needs to stake out her territory, something ain't right.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

What's wrong with a little biting? Posted: 5/11/2008 12:32:48 AM
You know, I pretty much demand that my woman bites me when she's performing oral sex. But for some reason, I don't generally enjoy it when she bites me anywhere else. Although it can be ok during particularly angry sex!

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Dangling the Carrot Posted: 5/9/2008 9:05:00 AM
Hmm...sex doesn't mean anything to me. I've tried to explain that to women and it does seem to confuse them. After they learn that I draw a bold line between romance and sex, they do seem to not know what to do. I'm just not willing to lead anyone on, at least not since I was a teenager. It never really occured to me that people could be that silly.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 160 (view)

Would you stand a better chance IN-Person than on here? Posted: 5/9/2008 8:57:44 AM
I do really well in person! Here? I do "ok". Saying somethings in person can be charming or sexy. Saying the same thing on the "internets"? Usually makes you look like an idiot. To use a sports metaphor, internet dating is a defensive struggle on a good day. Because the odds are your best offensive weapons are not being utilized. You can't really tell what the other person is thinking and therefore can not plan for it or react to it. I can do that in person. If I'm talking to a woman in person, her body language alone would be enough for me to know when to make my move. But here on the internet, most of us have our shields up. Those of us that don't? They're like the Oakland Raiders a few years ago...nobody scores much against them. And no matter how many ham-fisted passes they make, they don't score much either.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

How much do your REALLY want to know when breaking up? Posted: 5/9/2008 7:56:36 AM
Honestly? Yes, I want to know everything. If a first date is an interview, then the break up should be an exit interview. I want to know if I did something wrong, or if we just weren't compatabile. I've had women yell at me for taking it so well, but I also react very badly somtimes. It's about maturity. If your partner is really mature, they'll be genuinely interested to know WHY.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 10 (view)

Is it ok to go out with others as friends? Posted: 5/9/2008 7:52:54 AM
It shouldn't be a question. Friends are supposed to be FRIENDS. Shot in the dark here, you think maybe the "one night stand" bit might be the source of the problem? I'm thinking "yes".

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 101 (view)

Guys, would this hurt your feelings??? Posted: 5/9/2008 6:56:01 AM
rune3, I have ended relationships with good people and it was indeed to keep us from being miserable. In fact one was my high school sweetheart, you could say. And guess what? We weren't compatible...and that means she wasn't up to my standards. No way around that one for me. If you think it's worth it, you'll put up with anything. And if that person truly is worth it, it will work out. So I stand by my entire post.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

Why Do So Many Women Require That I Must Love God? Posted: 5/8/2008 9:11:46 AM
You know, I have seen this in a lot of profiles. Hate to tell you, but it's gonna put guys off. On the other hand, that's probably the point. After all, my own profile is designed to weed out women who want INSTANT LOVE! I try to make it pretty clear that I'm looking for fun, not love. So it's in there to make guys like me shake my head and move on. In all fairness, I have to applaud that strategy. We should all say what we want, not what we don't.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Instant Coffee, Instant LTR Posted: 5/8/2008 8:59:20 AM
You know, if I meet a woman when I'm out in the real world and ask her for drinks or whatever...there isn't a waiting period. Why is there one here? (BTW, I do it too. I don't think the OP is being overly rigid. Too specific? Yes. I would just like to know why so many of us act differently online than we would in person.)

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 87 (view)

Guys, would this hurt your feelings??? Posted: 5/8/2008 7:55:08 AM
My response would be simple. Ha ha ha! You're a moron. That was addressed to a fictional woman, not the OP. As far as I know, she hasn't ever said that to me. On the other hand, anytime somone dumps you it means the following: You're not good enough, You're not worth it, I just don't want you. Let's not pretend that isn't true, if it wasn't, why would we break up with people? In general, I don't think we men react any worse than women do. People don't like getting hurt, being played, duped or otherwise feeling they are inadequate. I learned a long time ago that when somone leaves you, they're doing you a favor. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? Why be upset over it, at least in the long term?

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 94 (view)

The religious relationship dealbreaker Posted: 5/8/2008 7:45:49 AM
If you walk in my apartment, you can see about three bibles right off the bat. There's a Torah and Quran floating around here somewhere too. They always say that religion and politics aren't meant for the dinner table, and I wonder why? I'm not going to use a broad stroke and paint all church going people as intolerant, that's not fair, but I'm afraid too many are for my tastes. Also,I quit attending service because my chosen religion supported child abuse with silence. Pretty sure I'm looking to protect the baby from drowning in the bathwater.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Whatever happened to making out? Posted: 5/8/2008 6:26:28 AM
I love making out. It's just fun and a nice thing to do. For me, there's romance in making out. Sex? Not so much.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 90 (view)

The religious relationship dealbreaker Posted: 5/8/2008 6:18:48 AM
A friend of mine, a very good friend who knows pretty much everything about me, once started off a sentence with "I know you don't believe in God..." He says this to a man who wanted to go to seminary! For a time, I really thought that was my calling. Until I woke up one day, read the bible and changed my mind. A couple of years later, I started dating his sister. They are both wonderful people, but seriously "religious". His sister used to ask me to attend service with her all the time, I always said "No." It would have been sacrilege. Never mind the fact I had to MAKER HER ATTEND SERVICE. Many, many times she said she didn't want to go. I made her, because I felt she would regret not going. It was supposed to be important to her. When we broke up, she cited my "lack of faith" as a reason. though not THE reason. So has it been an issue? Yes. And what I've learned to do is steer clear of anyone who SAYS their faith is the most important thing to them. It usually isn't. I went ahead and switched my profile to say "Non-Religous" because I want to avoid those people.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

What's Your Greatest Dating Strength(s) Posted: 5/7/2008 7:08:57 AM
A lot of people say I'm a great listener, but what does that mean? My greatest strength is my ability to get someone to TALK. I've found I can just stand around somewhere and people will start talking to me, it's a little annoying when it's univited. But I wouldn't trade it for anything, I usually know in about 30 minutes what kind of relationship I'm going to have with someone. My second greatest strength? I'm completely ridiculous.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

should i stop tryn? Posted: 5/6/2008 9:59:58 AM
Uh, yeah. Stop trying.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 77 (view)

Going on a date...as is, would you do it? Posted: 5/6/2008 9:47:34 AM
I don't qualify for this discussion. I can't go as is, unless I get the call within five minutes of coming home from work. See, they have these laws here that say you have to wear clothes in public....

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 252 (view)

When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her. Posted: 5/6/2008 8:58:16 AM
Never have met a woman who was so attractive I couldn't speak to her. I do one of two things when I think a woman is truly outstanding. 1: Nothing I wouldn't say to anyone else, except for increasing the amount of body language I use. Works great, actually! 2: Turn into Ric Flair. "Whoo, by god, what's the cause of all this? You and me,baby! How about you come take a ride on Space Mountain? WHOOO!!" (That's a joke, there is no 2. I'm always myself. That's it.)

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Sperm Shots Posted: 5/6/2008 8:46:42 AM
Haha! You know, I've encountered women who loved to see it, uh, coming. I've dated women who wanted no part of it. I dated a woman who would sulk if I didn't cum in her mouth. She was the only woman who ever understood why I liked that too. Personally, it's not shooting anywhere but on or in my partner. I mean, what's the fun in licking it off anything but her?

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 241 (view)

What is your favorite type of sex? Posted: 5/6/2008 8:31:44 AM
I was once told by a lover that I didn't have sex WITH her, I had sex AT her. When she explained it more fully, I had to agree. I just sort of do whatever comes to mind, as long as it doesn't violate any boundries my partner may have set. I start off sweet but that doesn't last long, I get pretty rough. Very rough actually, but I like to add the sweet parts back in just to mess with my partner. Even though it's rough, there's lots of laughter because a lot of it's pretty silly. How,exactly, hooking my partners arm behind her back while she's giving me head helps I don't know. But it's fun. And the only way to end it? Oral sex with me orgasming in my partners mouth. I don't care what anyone says about that, because to me it means one thing: No matter what we've done, no matter what I've said, no matter how much I've dominated her..she's the one in control. That's what it's all about to me. In that moment, there is no question that she's the boss. So how do I like my sex? Sweet, rough with me dominating until the end when, in I literally shoot it all away. Without that role reversal at the end, it feels empty.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

Panties -little shorts, or thongs, visable or not? Posted: 5/6/2008 7:47:09 AM
I've seen women who could walk around in a potato sack and totally own the room. If my woman wears something she wants to..that's sexy. Myself? I'm the nature boy. And I've yet to meet a woman who wasn't totally shocked about that. But I know plenty of women who do the same thing. Again, whatever she's comfortable with. But I also like to be suprised, so it's all good. In closing: Less is more, more is more, none is more and visible is more.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

woman bad in bed? Posted: 5/6/2008 6:46:11 AM
Not to be off topic too much, but I'm thining of a specific woman here. She wasn't shy at all, she was just set in her ways and had her ideas about what sex meant, how it was done. And she was not going to bend. To bring it back to the topic, in relation to this woman, it was like she wasn't having sex with me. She was having sex with the OTHER people she had been with. So when a woman doesn't allow you to be yourself, that's another problem. It's the difference between "I want you to finger me and suck my clit" and "I want you to finger me and suck my clit LIKE GEORGE DID" you know?

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Question for the Masses... You brought her to the movies.... Posted: 5/6/2008 6:40:00 AM
I went out with my ex and a small group of friends once. We had a really good time. But she started talking to another guy...this coupled that I had to cut my night short made me angry. She wasn't even interested in the guy, she was running interference for her friend. And why should I have cared? She's just my friend and that's all. Knowing I was going to have to leave, I made no effort to speak to her for about 15 minutes. When I went to say goodbye, she said she'd drop by my place to hang out for a bit. Now, how did I deal with this in a mature manner? I mouthed "You don't want to ******* talk to me anyway." And stormed out. Guess what? She didn't come by and I spent the rest of my night alone. I say all that to ask the OP this: You didn't by chance put distance between yourself and the woman did you? Because of the other fellow?

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

woman bad in bed? Posted: 5/6/2008 6:25:59 AM
I don't really want to teach a woman how to have sex...but if she's willing to actually learn then I'm ok. It can be fun. But not being willing to learn? That's what makes a woman bad in bed. I'm sorry, but I've never said "No" to anything my partner has asked of me. If I didn't like it? Eh, it's something different for the old Experience Library.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

The eccentric Types........? Posted: 5/5/2008 10:58:17 AM
I think I'm often considered eccentric, and probably not in a good way. I think it has more to do with my mach 6 mood swings and my sense of humor than anything I do. But the women I date seem to love it, so that's also good. Once you get past the first layer of goofy, to the second layer of serious its a short jaunt to the nougaty core of somber, deadpan slapstick that is me. One day, my then girlfriend came over and noticed how quiet I was. After about ten minutes of that, she asked me what was wrong. "I forgot. But something most certainly happened and I didn't enjoy it. Still don't, but I can't remember what it is." Then VH1 classic played that one song by The Hooters, and I insisted we heed their advice and dance. Two days later I called her up and told what had bothered me.

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Older or younger Posted: 5/5/2008 10:18:00 AM
Older women, absolutely. Maturity has nothing to do with it, actually. I've found the maturity levels about equal. I've done so much in 24 years (not that it's all good, plenty isn't) that I like having someone who has made plenty of the same mistakes and rebounded. More importantly, I love to hear about the successes my woman has had in her life. I did all my living earlier than most people. There's a level of understanding with someone who has actually LIVED. Women my age just don't have the life experiences to keep up. For instance, I met a woman at my work not too long ago and we had drinks together later that week, nothing happened and it probably won't. But, damn, we had a really good time! We were able to communicate on a level that just seems higher. A couple of days ago, I talked to a woman my own age. I swear, I've had the exact same conversation a million times. As far as sex goes, older women win again. I have never had an older woman balk at something, it's always been "Hell yeah, let's try that!". Younger women seem so set in their ways, sexually. Like it or not, sometimes you have to go outside what really gets you going to turn your partner on. There is a necessary give and take, again, women in my age group don't seem to get that. You really need to have open, honest communication on all levels. Full, complete sexual expression seems lost on my generation. I look around and wonder where the hell all these depraved, sex starved young women are supposed to be! LOL. Just for the record, my preffered age group is 38 to 47....

theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

when you have sex, your body makes a promise Posted: 5/5/2008 9:48:56 AM
They always say, honesty is the best policy. But when it comes to sex and relationships (platonic or romantic) we really don't want that at all. We want to hear what we want to hear, and nothing else. Period. And I think it's more fair to say that PEOPLE change, not just women. In fact, most of my male friends will fall in love with a woman if they have sex with her. And all the women I've ever been with, save one, expect me to do the same. I think we put way too much value in sex, at least beyond the immediate concern fo getting off. I'm always up front and honest that sex doesn't mean anything to me beyond the emotional release and excitement of being intimate with someone. It isn't a declaration of my undying love. I tend to use, you know, declarations of my undying love for that!.

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