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Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Favorite joke... Posted: 9/21/2005 7:46:44 PM
"How many ADHD adults does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "Wanna ride bikes?"

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 98 (view)

Intelligence is so sexy....... Posted: 9/20/2005 5:24:04 PM
Callendar girl First of all.... superior? naw...if intelligence was superior, why can't lex luthor beat superman? and why aren't the posters of academia and scientists in all the teenage girls rooms instead of actors and musicians Number 1 What are we doing still here without someone who loves the intelligent life form living forever in bliss? Because two brilliant people make a lot of red hot fire, the kind of fire that consumes what it touches. You can have bliss, and you can have forever... hard to find both. The venom from a smart womans tongue is a lot more acidic, and hits closer to home, and the retaliation barbs are just as nasty. Smart people give good lovin'... but they fight dirty too. Number 2 If we are all so intelligent in here, Why the heck do we continue to spend our time commenting and trying to figure out some of the 'dummest' posts I have ever read? Because you have to. "what the hell did she mean by that" is hard wired into a mart persons head. Even if there was no meaning in it at all... Let's say a pretty girl walks up to a poindexter like me and kisses me on my bald shiny head (hey, happened last night.) I'm now going to puzzle over motive, innuendo and consequences... long after the opportunity to leap up and sweep her into my arms for a passionate embrace is over. Now of course, 18 hours later... I'm kicking myself. Number 3 Why are there so many women/men complaining that everyone only loves them face value? Heh, because we can see the faces first. it's what we go by for first impressions, which colors everything else. learning your deep hidden self involves getting ACCESS to your deep hidden self. Hard to swim the depths without breaking the surface first.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Favorite joke... Posted: 9/20/2005 5:47:03 AM
heh. A man walking down a country road sees a farmer next to a pig with three legs. "what's with the pig?" says the man "Well, let me tell ya." says the farmer. "That there is some pig. "'bout six weeks ago, I fell down the well out in my back forty. Not a soul around for miles to hear me yellin' and cussin' "Well after a while I see that there pig lookin up at me from the patch of sky so far above me. and I'll be jiggered if it don't drop the bucket down for me to climb in. I get out with nothing but a couple scratches... yup. Some pig. The man says "but why does it only have three legs?" The farmer looks the man over. "A pig like that, you don't eat all at once."

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 80 (view)

Intelligence is so sexy....... Posted: 9/19/2005 8:37:06 PM
Heh, don't look at me... I just taught math... I don't undertand it. Besides, with quantum mechanics, we supply the one perfect insta-cloned woman (for you specifically) to every man on earth, and cry "huzzah" when you and her end up together, after which, we procede to take the rest of the woman away... (a rather cruel thing to do to the near matches, in my opinion) Either that, or supply a clone of YOU to every woman on eath, and cry Eureka when you find your soul mate, and then elimated all your copies (messy, that). I can't help but figure we would have solved the initial problem concerning the lack of perfect mates with the whole cloning thing.... long before we get to the quantum distribution part of the equation. As far as multidimensional string theory goes... I've got my hands full with four dimensions, thank you very much... the last thing I need to worry about on a date is wormholes.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Favorite joke... Posted: 9/19/2005 8:05:30 PM
A man and his wife get married in a different church than the one they regularly attend... and their Pastor had a problem with that, and asks them to leave the church. The couple are deeply upset by this and beg to be let back into the fold. The Pastor states that one of the requirements is to abstain from sex for for a month, and then after this test of abstinence, they may both be allowed to join again. three weeks go by, and the solemn and sad faced man asks to speak to the pastor. "I'm sorry father... we tried so hard, but yesterday, my wife bent over to pick up a loaf of bread, and I lost all control. "Soon as I saw her in that position I leaped at my chance, and I must confess... it was fantastic! Yelling and screaming, panting and moaning our passion.... We were like animals! It was the best we ever had!" The pastor turns to the man and states. "I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you into the congregation." The man states "That's allright father.... They won't let us back into Albertson's either."

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 74 (view)

Intelligence is so sexy....... Posted: 9/19/2005 7:15:38 PM
A long time ago, I read that the average women would rather be pretty than smart... because most men see a lot better than they think. I think things are changing a little. Intelligent people using the internet are able to connect with like-minded souls they would otherwise have a lot of difficulty finding. I mean, before the internet, how would a Seattle mathematician interested in tesselating tiles and flexagons ever discover, let alone meet, his soulmate... a small town girl in Ohio with a fascination for mandlebrot recursions and cellular automata. Now, with things like message boards, and email...it's actually pretty easy. Now me personally... Haven't met the woman willing to put up with yet ANOTHER conversation concerning how fabbers, nanotech, the methuselah mouse, spider-goats, the x-prise, and Moores law are leading us to a cingularity that cannot yet be imagined. I'm not particularly intelligent (If I was, I probably would have paid those speeding tickets by now, er... and my electric bill). But I am fascinated by intelligent people, and want to hang around them. That definitely includes dating. I may not be as intelligent as I'd like. But on a woman, it is most definately sexy.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Couldya', Wouldya', Sam I am? ;) Posted: 9/17/2005 12:21:07 PM
Not my call. If someone offered me a million dollars to never see my lady again. Problem with that. There will be a rich man with fewer teeth than when he met me. (Sigh) I value loyalty more than money... Damn. But a million dollars offered to both of us, for 24 hours of her time.... It's her decision. Either way, I'd stand by it. "Want me to beat the crap out of the rich man, honey? I'm on it." "Want me to pick you up in the new mercedes in the morning? I'm on that too." Goes both ways, If a rich lady wanted to pay me a million to have her way with me for 24 hours, and "my" lady is ok with that... well, I'm not seeing much of a downside. If she's not okay with that, at least my new and improved ego will sustain me in our mutual poverty. One girl offering a million was good, But the other refusing to share me for a million dollars... man, now that's a boost to the self esteem.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 59 (view)

Can men and women be friends without sex? Posted: 9/12/2005 7:45:55 PM
Heh. Ok, Yes, men and women CAN be friends without sex.... but the women think the men are happy with the arrangement... and the men think "maybe, just maybe, . . . I have a chance." Simple experiment. your male friend for years, the one you've been hanging with who is your best buddy.... make a serious pass at him, and see what happens. there are exceptions, for instance, if neither finds the other attractive in any way, then lasting friendships can happen. If you are his buddies wife or serious girlfriend, or a nun, or otherwise off limits... then guilt and honor come into play, and tend to help keep things platonic. If your father has taken your friend aside, and showed him his shotgun, and discussed how easy it is for him to hide a body... your friend will likely always be courteous. but even with those examples, make a serious pass, and watch chaos reign.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 101 (view)

whats worse, being a fat woman, or a fat man Posted: 9/11/2005 8:37:34 AM
Ok, From the argument about fat vs health. I'm overweight. Hell, I'm flat out fat. My parents were pretty people, they both could have had careers as models. ALL of my grandparents were overweight. So I must have caught the short end of the genetic stick. Big Deal. I'm fat because I like to eat, and I don't exercise as much as I should. I'm also healthy. I go to the doctor's office for occasional checkups, generally once a year, and sure enough: my blood sugar is fine, my pulse, my blood pressure, no signs of cancer, no signs of disease. The things I do have, (some minor back problems, and a little apnea) that are related to my size I could probably fix with more exercise. The point I'm making here, is that even though I'm 40 and fat, I sleep at night without pain, I take no prescription drugs, and I'm comfortable with who and what I am. I'm fat because I don't want to give up what I like (food and comfort) in exchange for something I never cared much about in the first place (other peoples arrogant and bigotted opinions) I'm not turned off by overweight people, if they are otherwise healthy, like sex, and don't mind hanging around with me. Sure I like young, sexy and pretty (I'm a guy, and my equipment works, after all), but it never was the outside that did it for me anyways. If someone is fun to talk to, (heh, and good at cooking) then that's the person I'm the most interested in spending time with.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Free For All Poetry Contest ~ hosted by angelpurrrrs (aka Cats) Posted: 9/8/2005 6:41:34 PM
Ok angelpurrs Soul searching, looking at the past I see people holding hands as they purchase their tickets and I think about when I was part of a pair with no last name I see two heads touching in the seats in front and I remember the way her hair smelled. I see them tease fighting over one popcorn and one drink and I feel only my hands will ever touch this candy. There is laughter and gasps and muttered asides and I hear none close enough to comprehend When the lights come on, and they huddle close as they shuffle out and I see that I can walk as fast as I wish And as the cold night air fills my lungs I realise I have no idea what movie I just saw.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 70 (view)

why is it so hard to find love when u have kids Posted: 9/7/2005 6:34:27 PM
I don't understand this "who comes first, who comes second" line of reasoning... My daughter gets all the attention she needs from me, no question about that... And so will the lady in my life. If I give my daughter a hug and a peck on the cheek, and I later give my lady a passionate kiss.... did either lose out? How are these two in competition? They are different things entirely. I suppose with that type of thinking, you'd get jealous that I spend so much time at work too, or with my friends. Love me, love my daughter... and I'll do the same for you and yours.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Free For All Poetry Contest ~ hosted by angelpurrrrs (aka Cats) Posted: 9/6/2005 9:06:30 PM
Puzzle I feel like a piece of a puzzle that didn't quite fit I was mostly a match, except for this little bit over here So I trimmed it off. Now I don't fit anywhere at all.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Is it possible to have a broken soul? Posted: 9/3/2005 11:45:30 PM
I think you just get angrier. And lonlier. I think that after a dozen tries where the conversation seems to be sparking, and the people seem interested, and then suddenly stop talking to you, that you stop trying. You start thinking to yourself that you don't need this crap. You tell yourself you don't need them anyway, and you curl up alone with a good book or a movie, or you sign up for more and more overtime till your boss TELLS you to go home. You get hit so many times that you flinch when you get an email from a new person. You hope its going to be someone special, but the last six started out good too... so now you're thinking "to hell with you" before you even open the letter. But you do open the letter, and you respond, and you carefully craft each word, wondering how much truth do you tell them, do you talk about your five year old daughter, whom you don't see enough, or will that scare them away? Do you explain your divorce isn't final yet? even though you haven't been together in six months, and the relationship was dead long before that. You don't want to base ANYTHING on a lie, so you answer questions that are asked, frankly and honestly. And that goes okay. SO you talk some more... start talking about things in general. Things you like, favorite places, sex, whatever... and it seems to be going fine. then suddenly boom. No more letters. or a curt goodbye. And once again you're sitting there wondering what the hell happened. So is it possible to have a broken soul? yes.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Third times the charm Posted: 8/10/2005 5:38:49 AM
thank you. I'm writing again, after a long time away. Guess I needed some quiet time to gather my thoughts.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Millie's Day at the bank. Posted: 8/7/2005 11:00:05 AM
Funny! Nice descriptive language, good pacing and a clever plot twist at the end. I like it a lot.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Eggs Posted: 8/7/2005 10:52:11 AM
On Religion "Be like the egg," the prophet said "The egg shall show to you the way. I've taught you everything I know. I have said all the things I need to say." "But what's to learn about an egg?" the people ranted, screamed and pleaded, But the prophet had already left, their questions were not heeded. So the people scattered far and wide of eggs they searched for hints and clues Some began to meditate and pray and some old scrolls perused. The people of the eastern lands were the very first to see the light. "Aha! The prophet must have meant that eggs indeed are always white!" So the people of the eastern lands dressed in clothing white as snow. their homes white washed, their hair was bleached No pigment was allowed to show. "Not so!" the western people cried. convictions solid, no doubt at all, "Not white, as claim those heretics, but eggs are rounded like a ball" The western people did their best to be as round as they could be. They ate as much as they could eat they glorified obesity. "Not white! Not round!" The northern lands in rapture cried. "soft and gooey inside, true, but eggs are hard outside!" So everything was armored up, to take a blow without a dent. it made it hard to move and touch, but the prophets words were heaven sent. "Not hard! Not round! not White!" The southern lands in chorus shout "when hatched they chirp and fly about. Eggs are birds without a doubt!" The southern lands did imitate in all ways the baby birds. They flapped their arms, ate worms and bugs and tweeted all their words. As years went by the borders grew. When east met west, and south saw north, the cultures clashed like fighting cats to defend their egglesiatical worth. The bombs of bleach from eastern lands de-pigmentated the squawking south. The rounded forms of the western people sat and squashed the armored north. And then from whence it was he went, the prophet did return. He stood in horror and looked about his eyes began to spark and burn. "People! all of you are right! And wrong! Eggs are hard outside but softer in, and baby birds indeed. They are round and white and all of that. But I meant that eggs are self contained, the seeds of life within." Be like the egg, expand and grow, and break the shell and see the sky! become more than what you started as, That also, is an egg, I cry!" "What do YOU know!" the people cried. "You aren't round, or white, or hard The prophet would never say these things! You can't be him, blowhard!" They set upon the prophet then They squashed him flat and bleached him white And squawking men pecked at his back They sent him running through the night. So to this day, some people chirp some grow fat or dress in white many wear their armored shells and all believe that they are right The prophet lies there in the dirt bruised and bleeding and bleached he weeps for those who follow him and now will never be reached.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Third times the charm Posted: 8/7/2005 9:25:10 AM
Thank you, I wrote that in college, for an english class... As for fleshing it out, I have no plans for that at the moment. I've written a lot of short stories, and will probably post a few more, but the only novel I've worked on is still half finished, after 10 years. Now that I'm fully moved into my own apartment, and only get my daughter some of the time, I'll have a lot more time to devote to writing... who knows, maybe now I can expand on it.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Favorite joke... Posted: 8/6/2005 9:54:54 AM
Two guys drinking in a bar on the top floor of a large airport hotel. One guy turns to the other and says "theres an amazing updraft near the balcony here.... watch this." He goes outside, leaps off the balcony, and flutters two feet away, spinning and twisting in perfect skydiver mode... never dropping at all. The other guy says "Wow! I've gotta try that", and leaps off as well, instantly falling to his death. The Bartender shouts out. "Thats it, Superman, No more wiskey. You're cut off!"

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

How much of a Freak are you? Posted: 8/6/2005 9:41:01 AM
You scored a 50.63%. For this test, the average percentage is 33.610058949031%. 288724 people have taken this test to date. Heh, Just because I'm a Nerd, doesn't mean I don't understand how to have a really good time. Like everything else... practice and study improves skill :) If I don't do it right the first time... I'm going to do it again.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 161 (view)

Fun One Liners Posted: 8/6/2005 9:10:09 AM
"I can have any woman I please.... problem is, I'm not pleasing any women"

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

What do you call a guy/girl with no arms and legs in a: Posted: 8/6/2005 9:03:11 AM
Two guys hanging over a window sill? Curt and Rod

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Third times the charm Posted: 8/6/2005 9:01:16 AM
Third Times the Charm. Judgment was passed. They had been watching for thousands of years, debating on whether or not to do it. Factions argued and debated, pondering the flaws compared to the merits, Every point carefully sifted and measured. At the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the process sped up. The luxury of millennia was over. A decision had to be made. less than a hundred years passed before Judgement was rendered. In sixty places a small cylinder was dropped into the sky, places where the wind was strong. The cylinders sublimated quickly, dissolving into nothingness. Not nothingness, just particles smaller than the eye could see. Particles that multiplied, again and again. Tiny constructs that launched themselves into the wind, dived into water, and burrowed into the earth. It took three thousand years to make a decision that was irrevocable in two days. At the stroke of the forty-eighth hour since the cylinders were placed, the particles could be found within any cubic inch of soil on earth, in the deepest ocean trenches, and at the top of the highest mountains. No island was spared, no mine-shaft, no secret hidden place. Anywhere on earth, everywhere on earth, the constructs could be found. If anybody had known to look. At the stroke of the seventy-second hour, the constructs did their job, and crumbled. They dissolved into polymers that warped into compounds that melted into individual carbon atoms and a few trace elements, and vanished without a trace of their origin or purpose. It took three months before anybody noticed something was different. Hospitals weren't as busy as they should be, in certain areas. Most of the usual things continued. People were still treated for cancer, for drug overdoses, for prostrate troubles and face lifts... but something was... missing. Two more months went by before the hospitals knew for sure, and they were the first to realize. Children. They were still being born, at normal rates, nothing exciting or unusual. And yet... no one was coming in for the first time. Nobody who panicked and ran for a blood test because their protection failed came back with a positive result. No newlyweds who were trying, were successful. No matter how many fertility shots were administered, they just wouldn't take. The hospitals kept quiet, and tried to decipher some sort of reason, but couldn't. No viruses were discovered, no chemical imbalances were detected. Hormones were normal, menstruation was fine, sperm counts were average, but no where was there a first trimester pregnancy. Two more months went by before the story broke. No one believed the headlines at first. Why that's silly! they would say, silently demanding that their voices not crack. Just last week that young lady in apartment 4a had a healthy baby girl. They simply regarded the news as another attempt to sell newspapers through scare tactics. On April 14th, at 7:53 AM, after a simple delivery, David Pinkham was born at the Sacred Heart Hospital in Shreveport, Illinois. A healthy six pound four ounce baby boy. He was the last child born on earth. At first people joked about it. Today is nobody's birthday. No buns in the oven. Things like that. But the jokes didn't last long. Scientists began to look for the cause in earnest. Every nation had their best people on the job. No research was hidden, all cooperated. Sperm banks were set up everywhere, in the hopes that one man or woman was spared, or that a particular combination would work. Nothing. They found part of the problem... people had been altered genetically. Something basic had been changed. What that something was, the scientists didn't know, How it happened, they had no clue, How to fix it, well... that was beyond them. Animals were not affected, as far as man could tell, the wild creatures were spared. Insane, desperate attempts to merge animal and human DNA were completely unsuccessful. David Pinkham was kidnapped when he was two years old. A young woman was apprehended, frantic, wild-eyed, and tearful. It's not fair! she screamed over and over. Why do they have one and I can't. David was returned to his parents. This became a common problem among the last children, as they came to be called. More and more, people (couples mostly) grew resentful and jealous of the parents of the last children. Until they had to be isolated from the world at large. More years went by, and no children were born. Some took it as a sign from God, and made peace with themselves, and their neighbors, and awaited the end. Others raged. Screaming against fate, they took their hatred and frustration out on others. They ended their lives in a frenzy of denial, taking many with them. A few trusted in science and human resourcefulness and patiently waited for them to make things right. As time went on, the last children came of age. A new era of hope dawned on humanity, only to be dashed. They were infertile as well. Not even David Pinkham, who's name was known in every house and village, in every empty maternity ward, and every abandoned school, could create a child. The earth at first despaired, then denied, and raged, and despaired again. Whole religions sprang up where people knew in their hearts and souls, if they were good and pure enough, they would be given a child. Some went the opposite extreme, reasoning that nothing mattered, so take what you want, there's no reason to leave anything behind. In some places, monuments were erected, in hopes that other races, perhaps evolved apes or alien visitors, would know and remember Humanity. the wisdom and lore of the whole of humanity was sealed away in time vaults, hopefully designed to last millenium. When David was forty, people had mostly grown accustomed to their fate. Genetics was the only science people were interested in. A few desperate people still trying to discover why and how. The vast empires were crumbling or gone. What was the point? Suicides were commonplace, spoken of in passing resignation. Few holidays were noticed, let alone celebrated. People stayed in touch for a long time, but slowly communications decayed. The satellites stopped working, the phone lines went down, even the Ham radios began to fail as parts became impossible to replace. Animals were becoming common again. Dogs had begun to go feral more and more, as had cats. The wild things were taking back the cities. People, the ones that were left, preferred to gather in smaller places. A storm would break a dam, an earthquake ruin a once cherished landmark, and no one would repair the damage. The forests and jungles were returning. David Pinkham died at sixty eight, There weren't enough people interested in running a newspaper for it to be common knowledge. Nobody did an autopsy or examination to find out what he died of. Friends buried him, a few old men and women who wondered who would be the ones to bury them when the time came. Nobody knew who was the last person to die, nobody was there to remember. What country he or she came from, what was the cause, how old he or she was. It didn't matter. The judges of mankind began to arrive a few hundred years later. This time would be different. Mammals weren't the ones. Neither had been the reptiles. This was not the first time the judgment had been made on earth. The decision against reptiles had taken much longer than the ruling against mammals. Now they would try insects. The decision was reached quickly, only a hundred years of debate. Cylinders were released, and the process begun again. seventy two hours later, the tiny nano-constructs did their job. All over the world, in anthills, beehives, and termite mounds, the droning sounds... changed. Grew... aware. Became.... thoughtful. A new day was dawning. Maybe this time, the judges conferred, this time. This time they'd do things the right way. Third times the charm.

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Debates Versus Arguments Posted: 8/6/2005 8:20:51 AM
Debate: "I believe you have not fully understood the deeper nuances of my personality... and I feel that giving you a few minutes to reflect on them may allow you to appreciate my complex inner nature. Perhaps some more time would give you the clarity required." Argument: "Look you freak, just give me back my car keys and get out the way!"

Joined: 7/2/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Favorite places to hang Posted: 8/2/2005 9:51:32 PM
Ok, I JUST moved to Lynnwood, from the Woodinville area. Back where I used to live, my favorite bar was Big Daddies. Had a lot of good dance music, great food, and a decent assortment of pretty girls to flirt with. It's too far away now to go to for a drink or two after the day is done, when I just want to unwind for a couple hours before bed. SO now I'm in Lynnwood, and I haven't found a place all that much like Big Daddies. I'm Looking for a place a forty year old guy with laugh lines and a big belly won't feel like a dirty old man, cause all the girls are too young, Or a nursing home attendant, cause all the girls are too old. Now I know that Big Daddies isn't all THAT far.... but still, anything closer? For that matter, whats your favorite place in the north seattle and eastside area, and why? <--obligatory animated icon.

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