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Thread: Should I hang in there

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I hang in there Posted: 11/19/2009 2:12:28 AM
If he is in failing health, he may be trying to save your feelings and keep you from getting emotionally attached. People, when faced with life changing health issues, tend to act out or clam up and run the whole gamut in between. If you've told him you'd be there to listen, frankly, that's all you can do. Either he'll reach out when he's ready, or he won't. I'd say move on and wish him good health. For you, offering your friendship was a compassionate wonderful thing. Good luck! :)

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Am I doing the right thing? Posted: 11/19/2009 2:07:51 AM
Let her go. It's apparent she's not trustworthy and needs constant emotional stroking if she's always gotten someone new online. It's sad that she's willing to take such unbelievable risks in traveling abroad with people she doesn't even know! She's not taking your feeling into account at all and feels her actions are completely okay. They're not. As you're both young, look at it as a life lesson and move on. You will always be questioning her actions and she seems to be all in it for herself. I wish you so much luck. P.S. Don't take all the harsh criticism so hard. There's just people out there that wanna name call and finger point.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Time Means Nothing... Posted: 4/5/2009 4:47:37 PM
Two and a half years have slowly ebbed away, My heart is still dying inside, By your side I wanna lay, This pain not willing to subside. Time means nothing as the pain is Just there, Like yesterday I felt the cuts deep, More pain than I can nearly bear, But inside me I'll always keep. I ache for the warmth of your touch, The pressure of your lips upon my face, Every day I miss it so much, Our divorce was done in haste. My bed seems so huge and cold now, Like a winter's ice cold cave, My heart still beats somehow, It is only you I crave. Surrounded by millions, yet all alone I wander the busy street, Lost and chilled to the bone, Yet only sadness I meet. Day and night mean nothing and yet, Each upon me has cast it's spell, The two have made a bet, Which one causes me most hell? Seeing the warmth of couples in the day, Feeling the coolness of them at night, An empty feeling the price I pay, Wrestling with these demons my plight. I cannot see the future, For I belong in the past, When you loved only me I'm sure, And I finally held you at last!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Missing My Love... Posted: 4/5/2009 4:45:57 PM
Twenty - Six years have come and gone, a long awaited son is ours, the sun rises and falls, and now I sleep alone. His eyes, like yours, soft and brown, His laugh full and fun, Amazing energy, running happily, And yet in my lonliness I drown. I hope she's all you've ever wanted, You've sacrificed so much, My son and I are decimated, Our hearts are clearly haunted. I was your wife, your lover, your mate, This time of year hurts the most, Couples sharing, people caring Pain in my heart and soul won't abate. A part of us has died and gone along the way, Your choices were yours to make, Without a care in the world, I would never make you stay. Our whole existance has changed, No home, no Job nor cash, Our hopE is dwindling, And now we've become estRanged. I still Remember the love and the lust, Pictures still show us together, MY heart promised a lifetime, Forever, unto dust. I wish you only happiness and joy, OuR son shuffled between the hOmes, Your other kids taking his place, And I am an unused toY. Up high upon an old shelf I sit, Waiting and wAnting to play, My servitude and desire to please, I'll Love you forever, I admit. You deserve me not, but I don't care, For in your arms I'd rather be, Held in Love's sweet embrace, Your hands wrapped within my hair.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Anyone Know This Pain?? Posted: 4/4/2009 6:49:06 PM
You are very young and this is a very emotional situation. The facts are: You loved her, she betrayed you, aborted a child (don't know for sure that it was yours as it was HER EX that took her away to have it done), your anger led you to jail and you've tried a few ways to deal with the pain. Sadly, with every painful experience, we grow beyond the naive, innocent people we were born. Six months is not that Long, NOT to us Natives! It will take time to heal, to re-focus, and organize it to better understand it. Stop focusing on HER and focus on YOU. Work harder, Relax more, busy yourself in activities you enjoy. You have to pick yourself up, no one else will. Sure your friends help, they're a crutch, but not a lasting fix. The healing has to begin with you! Take time each day to do a bit of praying, or meditation, to refocus your energies. Yes, it'll be difficult, but those are the steps needed to heal. It won't happen overnight, and there'll be good days and bad, but as long as you make forward progress, it's still progress! Your dreams of becoming a father and having a family are still a possibility. Maybe because of this, it will be with a loving, compassionate female that shares your views about family. My heart and best goes out to you.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 176 (view)

Calling All Divorcees Posted: 4/2/2009 4:17:42 PM
I don't know all divorcees, but having been married twice and knowing my own circumstances...I left one husband and kicked the other to the curb. Life is too short to dwell in the sorrow of a failed marriage. If you suggest counseling, and go alone anyway, that shows he's not willing to fix a problem that you see in the marriage. If he doesn't come home at night and you find other girls phone numbers all through his phone, he's not thinking of the marriage. I loved being married, but when it's over, it's over. I shut the door and move on...I don't play the separation for years followed by the upcoming divorce that never happens game. Maybe women used to stay married for the sake of the children (excuses), but today's women are more stable in her own finances and therefore taking bigger risks. Women are empowering themselves by freeing themselves of societal norms and figuring things out for themselves than just going with what they're "supposed" to do. By the way, just because women are the ones ending the marriage, I think they just wouldn't put up with a cheating partener, nor would they endure an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children like in former eras. There is strength in letting go as well.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 116 (view)

Am I Being Played? Posted: 4/2/2009 3:44:43 PM
First, I don't understand how you think you're being played...he's paying for everything and he's not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. You yourself said the sex was amazing, so no force there. It seems you're just upset by the infrequency at which he communicates with you. Maybe he just doesn't want to appear clingy or needy. It seems you may be a bit insecure . I say, take your time, allow yourselves to bond and trust. Know that you'll have to deal with the non-initiation of phone calls and that you'll have to be the one reaching out mostly for now. I don't see that he's inattentive, or lacking in emotional commitment. I also don't see that his slowing the pace was such an unreasonable request especially since you were BOTH going through divorces. As you're older and he's younger, I feel you may be trying to rush it a bit. I'm sorry, but you're not being played... Slow down, ease up on your need to hear from him every single day. Remember, you're still riding the chaotic emotional rollercoaster of divorce and may not even realize your need to try to make everything smooth by having a new guy in your life.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 331 (view)

Polyamory Posted: 4/2/2009 11:02:38 AM
The concept of loving more than one person at a time isn't NEW. It's just not acceptable in this day and age. Look at how many people are married with someone on the side. Why NOT put aside jealousy (which is merely insecurity) and be OPEN with each other. Yes, it can work, but with any relationship, it takes great effort. If you think of two women and one man in a relationship, the female would have someone to share daily chores with and companionship, it cuts the chores in half. Same with SEX. If a woman doesn't want it, the man can still have the other woman. Flip it and think of a woman with TWO men...Twice the stability, twice the security. Not to mention the variety! And he has someone to watch sports with! Another benefit is that if two of the three are working, there's always someone at home to deal with domestic situations (child sick from school, home cooked meals ready when you get home, grocery shopping already done, house cleaned, yada yada yada). In a normal 2 person relationship, there's NEVER enough time to get everything done with both working, or some resentment from either partner over who does the most chores/work. It's a WIN/WIN situation! But, n0t for everyone. It's just not acceptable or the NORM at this time.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 1080 (view)

Whats an instant turn on for you Posted: 4/2/2009 10:41:17 AM
I love a man with a sense of humor...If he can laugh at himself and find humor in life, he's a winner! A great laugh and smile are right up there too. A guy that laughs at my silly jokes shows me he cares enough to fake it, hahaha I love a man that knows what he's doing and can read women...knows what they want and delivers it with such precision it's unbelivable! I've only known ONE man like that and will be especially happy when he returns. Turn offs: Demeaning men, arrogance, conceit and men that flirt with other women while with you!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 150 (view)

CONDOM? or NO CONDOM? Posted: 4/2/2009 10:27:23 AM
As you already have a child, you understand YOU will be the one carrying the child and raising it...I don't understand why YOU wouldn't chose a second form of birth control for you combined with the condom! There's so many other forms for you: IUD, Patch, Pill, even the female condom. That'll keep you from getting pregnant, but it won't keep you from getting STD's. If a guy isn't willing to put on a condom, he's not interested in keeping himself nor you healthy. Walk away from this one. It's not worth the risk. Your link doesn't go to a Profile. Why is that?

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

hardcore kinky ideas to do with bf? Posted: 4/2/2009 10:16:01 AM
Hmmmmmmmmmmm...alternate between hot candle wax and ice cubes. Spank the bottom of his feet til he can't stand. Open his A$$hole and pour hot candle wax in there! Spank INSIDE his A$$hole. 100 %Restrained, blindfolded and then torment him with your body by not allowing him to touch you, but press against him, or just out of reach. Play my favorite game called " I wonder if this will fit?" Have FUN!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 126 (view)

I LOVE PHONE SEX!!! Posted: 4/2/2009 9:55:03 AM
Okay, to some it seems lame. I learned an immense amount about myself through phone sex. Things I couldn't do in person I could do on the phone because the person wasn't there to see me mess up or feel frustrated. I learned to work through different scenarios and really use my mind and envision this person there with me. It was sooooooooooooo amazing. Although he's away doing Uncle Sam's work, his calls keep us connected. If that's all we can have, we make the most of it!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

Would you watch? Posted: 4/2/2009 9:43:19 AM
If a couple started making out, KNOWING I was there, then obviously they don't care if I watch or not. I'd prolly stay, critique them and then hold points cards up at the end! hahahah Yes, I'd be generous with the points just to be nice.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 412 (view)

Circumcision... Posted: 4/2/2009 9:23:34 AM
I think it's preference....for me, I prefer NATURAL men. That flesh was put there to protect that area and should STAY there! Of course, that choice is usually made by the parents, which is another reason why I HATE circumcision! If it were for religious reasons, Let the person having the commitment to his religion make the choice later on in his life. I don't think it has meaning to a 2 day old infant! As for natural ones, you can play rougher with them! They're more fun to play with! Just my opinion.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Looking for some advice/perspective Posted: 4/1/2009 4:13:49 PM
Yes, being with military personnel is hard. Yes, the units get tight sometimes, it comes through strife. Should you swear off all military because your ex was one and bitter? NO! Stop worrying what others will think. Do warn your new guy of the former guys character and need to hurt you by lying, defamation of character, etc. Also, you KNOW that military are obliged to leave at the drop of a hat, and if you can deal with his absence, it'll make his presence so much more appreciated. When it's good, it's always good, when it's bad, it's horrid. That's just the way of the military. As they say in Bootcamp, if the military had wanted you to have a spouse, they'd have ISSUED you one!!! hahah Seems like a lame excuse to drop him 'because he's military"....serving his country isn't the easiest job! There are some really, really great guys in the military! You just need some patience...and find a bigger military base!!! hahaha Kidding..

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 148 (view)

Husband of 26 yrs. Left for a girlfriend 15 yrs younger Posted: 4/1/2009 3:53:06 PM
MOVE ON! Don't let yourself dwell in the misery of a failed marriage. It takes TWO and he has certainly moved on without you. Whether it's a mid life crisis or not, it's a huge BREECH of trust. His commitment failed and you must move on. Even if you were going to get back together, now wouldn't be a good time anyway. Take time for yourself. Heal and involve yourself in things you love. IF, later in life, he realizes this mistake and wants to get back together, you'll have a more solid foundation to base your decision on, not just because you're still hurting and want him back. He failed you. Don't fail yourself! I wish you much luck and LOVE! ~HUGS!~ Also, we tend to get emotional when this kind of thing happens to us...ask yourself, if my best friend came to me with this question, what would I tell HER? Be your own best friend!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 147 (view)

Husband of 26 yrs. Left for a girlfriend 15 yrs younger Posted: 4/1/2009 3:48:57 PM
Unless it was something you did to him that made him react this way. DANG Rich7778, Are you kidding me? People cheat because they WANT to cheat. No one MAKES them cheat! If he was unhappy in his marriage, there's a bunch of things he COULD have done BEFORE he started cheating: Discuss things with his wife, counselling, therapy, 2nd job, yada yada yada. He chose to cheat, without any remorse, or guilt. That's just BOLD! He had no regard for the commitment he SUPPOSEDLY made with his wife years ago. That's like blaming the rape victim...WHAT WAS SHE WEARING? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... UN-FLIPPING-BELIEVABLE!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 83 (view)

Cheating, unhappy & married with kids Posted: 4/1/2009 8:43:32 AM
First, your friend is SELF SABOTAGING his relationship with his wife by screwing around on her. He feels he doesn't deserve to be happy and hoping he'll be caught thereby ensuring his misery. He really needs to look at WHY he's doing it or it'll continue whether he loves the new girl or not! As for the relationship with his son....whether married or not, the son is still his son and that will never change. If he stays and he's totally NOT happy, the son will know regardless of how much they HIDE it. The children are Not the reason to stay. Counseling is necessary to break through all the walls everyone is putting up. If he stays and he tells his wife of his infidelity, she'll prolly toss him to the curb (her right to do so!). But, if he tells her and suggests counseling or goes by himself that would show his willingness to change. As a wife, I'd rather NOT know of the infidelity and his offer to go to counseling would be a step in his commitment to better our marriage. As for counseling..no one is comfortable making themselves feel vulnerable with a stranger. You're baring your soul to this stranger with a degree and being judged. However, they also OFFER a solution..that's what you need to focus on. That would cement your road to change. This marriage will not work, nor will your willingness to change without the counseling. Good luck.

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 186 (view)

Spanking - What's the deal? Posted: 3/31/2009 11:26:44 PM
As I didn't have a father figure, I really enjoyed the role play associated with getting a spanking and being a "bad girl". There's so much pleasure in pain...Hmmmmmmmmmmm....LOVE IT!

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 172 (view)

3 words you don't want to hear during sex Posted: 3/31/2009 10:14:41 AM
Tastes like chicken! Kids are coming!!! Hurry, I'm late! Get the phone. You smell different. You didn't shave? POLICE! OPEN UP! Lets share HIM! Bring your girlfriend! Call your sister! YOU brought condoms? Where is it? (Am) I Hurting you? You cum yet?

Joined: 2/15/2008

Msg: 108 (view)

How long should sex last? Posted: 3/31/2009 9:57:59 AM
Until the paramedics are called, and they drag your naked sore bodies away in an ambulance!!! Why should timing be the issue and not the enjoyment factor? I've enjoyed quickies, lasting 20 minutes or so, to long drawn out lovemaking fests lasting four hours. Of course, in the latter, there was position changing, oral, kissing and other things, NOT just thrusting for a world record! If you're watching the clock during sex, then your mind is definitely NOT where it should be!

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