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roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Dear Diary.... Posted: 8/18/2006 10:59:09 AM
I have taken a sabbatical from yard work this year and allowed my back yard to go "natural." It has become a very peaceful looking yard reminicent of an english meadow. One thing that I noticed early on in the summer was a large "pricker" weed right in the middle of my yard. I have no idea the latin name for this plant but it is the low yard weed that when you step on it in your bare feet it leaves hundreds of "pickers" in your feet that itch and are impossible to get out. As it was a natural weed, I let it grow also. This plant thrived in my back yard and for several weeks now has become the centerpiece of my back yard. I admired it daily as I watched it grow a stalk from its center that eventually passed 7 feet in height! By then, I had taken to calling it my "Michigan Cactus." My dog, Candy, admired it from a distance and never once got herself tangled around it, despite it being dead center of the yard. She has a wire that runs from the house to a pine tree further back in the yard and she has a cable tie that runs to the wire allowing her to run in the yard the length of the wire and the width of the cable. This Cactus was also dead center in her run area. And still, after many months, she had never gotten tangled up, allowing the plant to reach its seven foot height. That is until last night. Candy went out and finally got herself tangled around my Michigan Cactus. She can normally figure out how she which way she is wrapped and unwind herself, but her cable was caught on one of the pickers, now a spike, and it would not release her no matter which way she went around. I was in my underwear and a tee shirt so I thru on my sandals and went out to untangle her. As I approached this now seven foot tall stalk of "pricker weed" I marveled at the size of the beast. The "pickers" were now THORNS at least a half inch long. It had dried out from lack of rain. The Thorns went all the way around the stalk and there were approximately 6 or 7 per inch of stalk and leaves branching off every 6 inches or so. The stalk was about a half inch in diameter and the spikes rose up at a 45 degree angle or so. This was a very impressive beast. While I was admiring this fascinating speciman from a distance of about 6 to 12 inches away, the dog stayed at my feet patiently waiting to be freed. She was tangled once around the bottom of the stalk. Having seen enough, I finally reached up a grabbed Candy's cable at a spot just above the top of the stalk. At this point, Candy, thinking she was now free, ran past my feet and toward the house. Her cable tightened around the stalk like a noose. It now had resistance at the top, meaning where I still held the cable. The stalk, with all its magnificent spikes, was immediately drawn into my body where said spikes impaled me, effectively making us one. Now that the stalk was firmly attached and had no give, and as I cried out, "Candy, NO!", the dog's cable was able to slide up the stalk, shearing off leaves and thorns alike as it went. The good news was that this action pulled most of the spikes from my body. The bad news was that I was still holding the cable above my head. This meant that I now had a large mass of leaves and thorns coming toward my face and head!!! Fortunately, the human brain works faster when left on its own and very quickly got word to the hand to, "Let Go!." This preserved the brain and hand. The heart, with its protective shield of ribs and muscles and skin was left to fend for itself. Once my hand let go of the cable, the dog was able to pull th cable toward the house. It was stopped by my body. Unfortunately, the mass of brambles and briars was now stuck in my chest. Fortunately, I was able to get a hand on each side to keep it from being dragged sideways. However, I now had two hands on a cable that I did not want to move, a dog roaming around on said cable, and vegatation trying to eat its way to my heart. Thankfully, the dog smelled the blood and realized I was in trouble and began barking. (I could not figure out why she was telling people I had fallen down a well, though.) While she stayed in one place I was able to manueaver my hands closer together and pull the entire mass away from me and escape to the house where I could let the dog in and pluck the remaining thorns from my flesh. Today, when I left the house, my cactus, now dried on the ground, did not appear the majestic plant it had once been. It is now little more than a bare stalk and a pile of brambles. I still gave it a wide berth.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

More freaky mind tricks Posted: 3/9/2006 6:56:07 PM
i came up with tomato too while my mind raced for another answer and came up blank

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

A letter to a stalker Posted: 2/22/2006 5:46:17 PM
You're welcome. The others never did appreciate my efforts....

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Speedy Rewards Posted: 1/5/2006 7:41:40 PM
if you frequent Speedway that often, why dont you get the card? I used to feel the same way that you do when stores forced their cards on me in order to get the "good deals." When I first got the speedway card and used it it did not seem that the points accrued very fast so I kept using it but did not think about the redemptions. I started redeeming the points about a month ago and was amazed. My last 5 gas purchases I got a 7 cent discount for using the card and another 50cents off as a redemption. I have been to dinner at Applebees twice free. Anyway, that is my feedback. Use it or don't. But instead of ****ing, go someplace else, or deal with it.

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Questions to ponder.... Posted: 12/30/2005 3:00:39 PM
Why does my iron have a setting for permanent press???

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Cannibal Humor Posted: 12/5/2005 6:45:51 PM
what did one cannibal say to another after eating a 40 year old divorcee? does this taste bitter to you?

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Limericks? Posted: 12/5/2005 6:41:45 PM
he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin If my ear were a ct I would f* it dont know if this will go thru or if you will have to figure it out

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 61 (view)

i have a superpower...do you? Posted: 8/26/2005 5:11:42 PM
Evidently I have the power to make women realize that being alone isn't as bad as they thought.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Battle Creek Baseball might be fun, or i love new yawk party! Posted: 8/23/2005 9:03:21 PM
Happy place?????? You are right..Ignorance is bliss.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Battle Creek Baseball might be fun, or i love new yawk party! Posted: 8/23/2005 2:23:24 PM
Oh, csk,csk,csk Have we made no progress at all???????????????

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Yet another sex test Posted: 8/18/2005 3:41:01 PM
17 missed an easy one dammit

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Slow Down, People! Posted: 8/16/2005 8:30:18 PM
Well since I am one of those forunate few who found someone quick let me explain. I was on another site for a couple months and met a couple ladies but nothing that was going anywhere and made a couple e-mail friends. I have to admit that I am good at making a connection in an email and getting a response. This relationship did not start that way. I was introduced to this site by my son and posted on here for the hell of it. I did not do a search for locals or anything. Jewels was showing a co-worker how to put up a profile and decided to post hers too. My picture came up as close by and she e-mailed me that I had a great smile. i sent back a smart ass comment about her profile and did not think a lot about it but she called me on it and instead of being insulted, which she could have, she just asked me to clarify my comments. From there over the next two weeks of chatting and e-mailing we just kept finding more things in common and beliefs we shared that it became very eerie how this came about and how we were fated to find each other. We have been going out about a month now. I think the biggest reason was that neither of us put on any airs what so ever to impress the other person, other than the nice smile comment. It was both of us being ourselves and finding out that we liked that person. Did that mean that I did not try to woo her? NO Like I say we communicated for quite a while but the more I got to know her the more I wanted to meet her. We made a date to meet on a friday ( we live about an hour apart) but on thursday I could wait no longer. I sent her flowers on thursday and then called after they arrived and told her I wanted to meet that night. We were IM ing and she said she was going out with a co-worker that night. I immedieately called her work number and spoke with the co-worker and asked if she minded if I stole her date for the night and she agreed. I Fell fast but warned her and did not scare her off. She realized how great and sincere I was she fell too. I dont know from fast or slow...but I know that I enjoy being with her and talking to her and I am smiling more and thinking of her all the time. Isn't that why everyone comes here? If yoiu find it why keep looking. Just my humble opinion

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

What was the worst thing you or your ex has done or said after your split-up? Posted: 8/8/2005 11:38:42 AM
My ex-wife had filed for divorce to move her boyfriend into my house. I stayed in the house for the kids during the divorce proceedings for 9 months. About once a week we would have "discussions" regarding something concerning the divorce. I was living in the basement and she was upstairs. In the middle of a discussion she just was not seeing things my way and wanted to take the kids away from me completely and move to Texas (we live in Michigan) where her boyfriend lived. I looked her right in the eye and said, "You Mother-F*ing, Ct, Bit*,Whre!!" There is really no good comeback to that..... From then on we spoke only through our attorney's.

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 65 (view)

Real or Fake? Posted: 8/8/2005 11:11:30 AM
REAL

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

How do you define overweight? Posted: 8/5/2005 6:59:05 AM
I am not fat, I am just a little fluffier than when I was twenty. LOL

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Do guys still believe in the 3rd date rule??? Posted: 8/5/2005 6:55:27 AM
IMHO I think a lot has changed with this type of format. I think the third date "rule" has to do with the time it take to get to know someone well enough to find out if you want to invest emotionally in a sexual encounter. ( I am throwing out the one night stand, two drunks in a bar parking lot scenarios) Three dates you spend about 10 to 15 hours getting to know the person. Maybe less if you just go to movies or a venue where you do not talk or sit face to face. With online like this, I have spent 30 to 40 hours chatting, e-mailing and talking on the phone and know already a lot more about a person I have not met face to face yet. In this scenario the main determination is the physical attraction. I would like to deny this and say once you know the inside then the outside doesn't matter but I have to admit to being shallower than that. I have ended up more physical on my first date here (just a back rub) but we had talked for over 40 hours and a lot had clicked. On the second date it just seemed a natural thing for both of us. The last series of dates on was on that were set up blind (not thru the internet) we went out four times, twice to a comedy club and twice to movies and it never became sexual nor even remotely physical because we had not invested the time to get to know each other. We just liked laughing together and that was fine, too. You have to let your heart be your guide and dont be afraid to say no if you aren't ready and yes if you are and stop counting. just my two cents

roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Thanks Posted: 8/2/2005 1:40:12 PM
I have found that which I sought on here also. The fates that brought us together become very eerie and it has to be fate. Both of us posted here because of someone else. But I am very happy that I took the time to put up a profile even though I got confused and put up a description of what I was looking for as a description of myself. Despite the odds we found each other and hit it off right away. I never would have thought that I would try an internet connection and here it worked for me. Thank you PoF.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Your mama is SO fat..... Posted: 8/2/2005 10:23:03 AM
your mama's so fat.... well here..... smell my elbow!

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

Plenty of Fish FIRST DATES Posted: 7/31/2005 4:53:16 PM
Thank you Jewels! Scheduled my first for a week later on a Friday, but after chatting and talking on the phone for a week I could not wait and asked her to meet me on Thursday. It all clicked for me. Had an absolutely wonderful time, She was more beautiful in person than her picture showed. We met again the next night and I had a great time. I hope she did too. that was two days ago. we are figuring a lot of things out but I have high hopes as no one has captured my heart like this before. If you are reading this Jewels, You have made me a very happy man. I think of her all the time and can't wait to see her again.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Love Quotes Posted: 7/31/2005 4:38:38 PM
Tis better to have loved and lost, Than to have loved and won.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Was it the organ music? Posted: 7/29/2005 7:54:39 AM
When ya see her car at the alleys next time, let the air out of all four tires. Then you will be able to keep up no matter what happens inside.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

help Posted: 7/29/2005 7:52:04 AM
Run away. Do not walk. Hasn't hurt the kids. Has he been verbally abusive to them too? I see red flags all over this. JMHO

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

angry question Posted: 7/29/2005 7:49:02 AM
Astrosky Don't beat him up for the picture. Until he gets one with a smile on it, he is better without. I agree with everything else you said.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Money or Love... Posted: 7/29/2005 7:44:54 AM
MONEY. Although....... Sex will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no sex.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

angry question Posted: 7/28/2005 1:01:46 PM
paulie We discussed this on another thread, but man the problem is your attitude! We have to be about the same age and women Our age (40's early 50's) can be very aggressive and very passionate sexually. But like I said before, NO ONE wants to hang around a dad-gum dull disallusioned cry-baby. Put on a smile, act freakin happy, be confident and women will find you. If you act like you just crawled out from under a rock they will kick sand on you. I wish some of the women would post and maybe you would listen to them. But you are depressing even to the outgoing gals on here. Maybe the poor me thing worked in junior high. Grow up and put your big boy pants on. i am telling you this because I care. I have been where you are and it sucks. I know. But if i can change so can you. I challenge you to put up a happy post and see the responses.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

help Posted: 7/27/2005 3:24:59 PM
Black Lace What you need is some get even revenge sex. That will teach him that you don't need him. Just kidding. Follow your heart and head and do what's right by the kids.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Am I Right or just plain loopy??? question for the guys.. or ladies whats your take? Posted: 7/27/2005 3:07:55 PM
I have never had a time frame but I don't introduce my kids until it is to the point where I am serious about the relationship. I'm with you that I did not want my kids to see a parade of women in my life (well that was the fantasy. probably did not have to worry about that in hind sight LOL) They have met only two women I have dated and both I thought of as serious/mongamous ralationships. Now that they are older (20,18,& 13) I discuss the fact that I have or had a date mostly because they don't want me to be alone either. Not so much with the 13 year old because his life revolves around only him still. I think the problem with a time line is you may find someone who you enjoy singly but don't want to bring into the family. Then don't. My kids don't want to know everyone in my life. They could care less but could meet them in passing. JMHO

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

It's so hard to tell if somebody likes you! Posted: 7/26/2005 7:45:57 PM
you type like you know something about life. You look gorgeous and the background thong shot I would die for. What's not to like. Wow

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Best Line To Use When She Says Posted: 7/26/2005 9:57:22 AM
Women say, "NO". ??????????? hmmmmm Can't say that I've ver heard that before.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Was it the organ music? Posted: 7/26/2005 9:54:03 AM
Dude I think you moved too slow and she lost interest. She obviously wanted you to follow her into the ladies room. She gave you two chances and you missed them. She peobably took the bra off waiting for you and then it blew out the car on the way home. If you see Steve again you have to look closer at the signals. Oh, and I am from Michigan and you can't wear the sleeves in this humidity. Pit stains send the wrong signal. Chicks like the come hither wisps of pit hair blowing in the breeze on the 'ped. Luck to ya, man.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

Hello Posted: 7/25/2005 9:31:05 PM
Because men don't know what they want. It changes daily. LoL

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

picking location for first date Posted: 7/25/2005 5:20:22 PM
The town is a coastal town. Things go bad, bail. Things go good, talk in resaurant all night losing track of time. Things go great, walk on the beach..........

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

picking location for first date Posted: 7/25/2005 4:56:47 PM
I love the fact that you can get quick feedback on things here. Thank you expecially to the two previous posts. Never thought of google BTW. I took the honest approach after reading your suggestions and told her what I was feeling and she was amazed firstly that I would allow her to pick a place where she would be comfortable meeting an internet person and secondly, that I had feelings enough to worry about it later. Led to a great discussion and I got brownie points already. Go figure. She also said I can plan plenty of future dates after the first one if things work out right. Geez, open communication with a woman. Who'da thunk it. LOL Thanks so much for the feedback.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

picking location for first date Posted: 7/25/2005 1:47:25 PM
I told her to pick someplace nice but quiet enough for us to talk. OMG if she suggests a fast food place I will LMAO.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

~ DO YOU THINK DATING HAS CHANGED? ~ Posted: 7/25/2005 1:44:32 PM
[On the other hand, internet dating has turned into so much of a "shopping trip". It's easy to go to a website and say, "I'd like a redhead, around 5'8" tall, 135 lbs, with a college degree, who likes 80s music and being naughty" --- and you'll find 20!!!] Um chatpilot, could you direct me exactly to that search and/or those 20. Would settle for 2. Thank you. We no return you to your thread.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

thinking Posted: 7/25/2005 1:37:42 PM
Dude, just a thought but put up a picture where you are smiling! And I am glad you are frugal. But I would drop it in your profile as it might be interpreted as cheap! Especially when that is all you wrote. Regarding your other thread, if you didn't smile and were cheap I would just lie there too. And I would not come back. You might need to open up alittle or it will be another 10 years.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

picking location for first date Posted: 7/25/2005 1:30:25 PM
I've had first dates before and have when asking a person out I have always had something in mind before I asked. For example: "Would you like to go to ___________ with me?" With the online introduction the rules are a little different: someplace public first and something easy to excape from if either person feels it isn't right. So i've set up 2 dates: On the first we agreed to meet for coffee and picked a Barnes and Nobles Cafe. The other we met for dinner and I picked the restaurant. I set up another first date last week and since I wasn't familiar with her area (she lives about an hour away) I asked her if she had a place she liked that we could go to dinner. She agreed but we did not pick a place. That was last Thursday, Today is Monday and our date is Friday. We have been e-mailing and are both looking forward to meeting face to face but no location yet. I started thinking that I may have made a faux pax by not having the location or something more tangible in mind when i asked her. I would appreciate your opinions on this as I would like to start off on the right foot if possible. Any thoughts?

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 72 (view)

Your Nastiest, Dirty Uninhibited Fantasy........... care to share? :) Posted: 7/23/2005 4:58:25 PM
To quote Lou Gerhig "Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the planet" In reading these I counted seven of these that I have already experienced. God I love this site and the memories it brings back. lol

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

from the guys, for the guys, peace! Posted: 7/22/2005 3:50:47 PM
and if you make me sleep on the couch I will masturbate and think of your sister. Call us even.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand Posted: 7/22/2005 3:48:19 PM
14. Why you need to take a partner to the restroom. 15. Putting make up on to "look natural"

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 122 (view)

Fun One Liners Posted: 7/22/2005 3:38:54 PM
When everything is coming your way you're probably in the wrong lane.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Smart-aleck co-workers.... Posted: 7/22/2005 8:48:34 AM
An antistatic sheet that you throw in the dryer to pervent static cling. Cling Free is Brand name here in states.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

What is the best put-down line or story you have? Posted: 7/22/2005 8:31:30 AM
I was getting hit on by this intoxicated, unattractive gal at a bar who started very politely but as the evening progressed and she kept drinking became more and more pushy. I told her I was not interested several times, tried ignoring her ( I was with a group ) nothing was working. close to closing time she sidled up to me and OK you don't have to take me any where but come home with me and Fk me. I looked her right in the face, pointed at a friend of mine across the table and said, "I wouldn't fk you with his dk." There was a pause as she digested that. then she looked at him and said, "Would you fk me with your d**k?" He was kidding but said, " Sure let's go." She said, "nah, I don't like you." and walked away for good. We LOAO but we had been drinking.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

best online first message approach Posted: 7/21/2005 2:46:50 PM
to clarify: I;m talking e-mail message rather than IM.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

best online first message approach Posted: 7/21/2005 2:11:50 PM
I am curious as to the ladies feedback on the best approach to use in an opening message. If I find someone's profile that interests me and I want to know more about them, what is the best opening message to send. With typed words complements can sometimes have you sounding like a pig. Just saying I'd like to know more about you i think might get lost in the crowd. Is there something that would stand out without scaring you away? Or what would most likely get a response from you. Thanks

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Cheating Married women! Posted: 7/21/2005 9:18:16 AM
or by what she read.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

license plates Posted: 7/20/2005 2:11:38 PM
Have one in our town 1PMS247 Says it all

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

Favorite Family Guy Lines Posted: 7/20/2005 1:43:42 PM
Great show, great thread, Early episode Brian (walking in ) "Who's leg do you have to hump to get a martini around here?" First show I had seen and I was in tears. REcent show when Brian is dragging his ass on the rug while talking smack. OMG funny

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 72 (view)

Backhanded Compliments Posted: 7/19/2005 8:30:42 PM
"Based on what you told me I thought you'd be heavier. You're hardly heavy at all." It was out of my mouth before my brain engaged.

Roberto13

Joined: 7/3/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Didn't their mothers raise them better than that?? Posted: 7/19/2005 10:26:23 AM
Careful with generalizations. I've got stories of some pretty forward women out there telling me over a first date dinner what they will do to me in the bedroom. I think it is the insecurity of the first date and thinking that is what a man wants to hear they say i to get a second date. Either that or a cry of desperation. What scares me is the younger girls. I found a note my son left on the counter when he was 14 that a 14 year old girl wrote and I could not believe the things she wrote that she was going to do to him. He was embarrassed by it but said he had gotten notes from several girls like that and said all they talk about is sex. OT: Rather than mothers I think it is society mirroring what they see on tv and movies. You can meet someone, sleep with them and be over them in a half hour sit com and people think that is real. Parents need to be willing to discuss relationships and not just sex with their kids.

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