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 Author Thread: 5 People Gunned Down in Last 6 Days
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
5 People Gunned Down in Last 6 Days
Posted: 2/8/2009 2:39:27 AM
The Bacon brothers came to my work last week. I wasn't there, but was told about it.

I've been friends for years with the young man in Coquitlam who got shot. The bullet is still in his leg. Not sure if it's going to be removed, I should ask him. The guy who shot him was trying to rob him. It was kind of weird to see his facebook status saying "So........... I got shot in the leg last night...... good times..." on my newsfeed.

I really don't like the way this province and world itself is headed. I long for the days of my youth when you felt safe everywhere you went. :(

Something has to happen soon, things are getting ridiculous.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Made In China
Posted: 12/13/2008 8:18:22 PM
There is one mug manufacturer in Canada (and maybe one other but was more of an artisan shop, couldn't do large quantities), however most of them are going the way of the Dodo. The one that I am thinking of in particular was run out of Alberta. I used to work for a business that dealt specifically with Canadian made advertising specialties, and I could tell a lot of stories about goods that are made in Canada vs. the rest of the world.

You know those umbrellas that we on the wet coast so fondly appreciate? Good luck finding one made in Canada or the States for that matter. And if they are, they are super expensive one of's, or designer/artisan items that aren't feasable for most people to purchase.

Sourcing local and nationally made products was a huge part of my job, and it was nothing short of frustrating much of the time. I can think of several large scale manufacturers that have closed up shop in this country in the past 10 years. Many others originally manufactured here but ended up outsourcing overseas, especially in clothing. Even pens are hard to find. A lot of Canadian companies seem to have sold their plastic injection/moulding equipment or something, because there ain't a lot of pens to be found from this country. There was this clothing company based in Vancouver, made beautiful quality urban clothing and jackets, and we had to stop selling their line because they outsourced to China. It's a crying shame.

I probably won't post again for awhile so I'll say here, Happy Holidays one and all. May you find romance under your tree. =)
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Obama - First Black or Biracial ...
Posted: 11/5/2008 9:44:51 PM
Charles Curtis was half Native American and a Vice President. He was also a Senator. Look him up on Wikipedia if you are curious.

I am thrilled with the results and I wrote a piece about it for another site, but I'll spare you PoF'ers because it's about 5 paragraphs long and those of you who are familiar with me here can probably figure out how I feel about it all.

The biggest change in the voter turnout was not based on race but of age. Young people. There was a huge response from the previously politically disenfranchised youth and it showed in the polls. I find that heartening and amazing and I'm thrilled that they feel they have a voice again, because theirs is just as important as anybody else's. One of my good friends worked very hard on Obama's campaign for months and it was a joy to me to see how proud he was that his work helped. The youth and indeed everybody on the planet deserves a reason to believe that their future won't be bleak.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 276 (view)
 
Is the fairytale impossible after 30?
Posted: 10/15/2008 2:16:07 PM
I hope it is, but I lose faith as time goes on. I have found that people seem to expect so much, when the reality is that one should be less picky as they get older, the group to draw from is smaller so you have to forgive more things. But I see countless profile after profile where they want some superwoman/man, when I don't see it happening. Nobody's perfect anyway, what does it matter if an otherwise perfect match doesn't skydive or hasn't traveled outside their own continent? What does it matter if they don't have a master's degree? I've seen profiles where the person who wrote it demands nothing less than those random things.

I think the one thing that stands in the way of a lot of people's relationship success is a lack of wanting to share. It seems like when people get older, their attitude is that they have worked hard to be where they are, and they protect that fiercely. Maybe they've even been burned too, which doesn't help matters, but it's counterproductive to hang onto that baggage. The basis of a relationship, it's very nature, is one of sharing. You share your thoughts, feelings, goals, friendship, love, life. Not just bodies, or time. I've met people who are happy to spend some time with you or even sleep with you, but when it gets down to it, they want to keep you outside their life, in some separate little box. I run far away when I get a vibe of a person being like that. BEFORE I sleep with them (and my hump and dump radar is strong).

In my best case scenario, I want to be married again, with someone who is my best friend and a real partner. Kind of a traditional relationship. Maybe I'm just discouraged but lately I feel like I might end up single forever, because I'm not meeting people who share the same philosophies. It may be a bit later in life than when most people mate up, but to me that makes no difference. Late is not a bad thing, it just sometimes happens because of the way life goes. There's people who go to college in middle age, they are not horrible people, they just did things differently.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Telling someone you love them....
Posted: 10/15/2008 1:53:00 PM
Congratulations to the OP, what a great story.

The L word kind of scares me, I'm a lot more cautious with it now and well, I haven't said it to anybody in a very long time. I don't want to say it unless I feel the time is right. I think in the future I will let the guy say it first, I don't know why. I haven't had those feelings for awhile though, haven't had the opportunity. I miss being in love. Please tell me that it isn't just for young folks and I'm doomed to never hear it again.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Childfree Dating
Posted: 10/15/2008 1:45:41 PM
I don't have kids. I wanted them, or was at least open to have them, but my bio clock is thundering and time is running out (unless I want a pregnancy with complications, which I'd rather not have).

But the fact that I was open to having them doesn't change the fact that people think I'm weird or 'broken' or something. I'm not, I actually didn't have them for the best reasons out there. I wanted conditions to be good before I had a child, and fate didn't give me those conditions. All I wanted was to be in a relationship with someone who also wanted them, and who would be a good dad. I wanted a relationship that I knew was lifelong. I've had one or two of those conditions but not all three at the same time. So I made sure I didn't get pregnant. I had high hopes when I got married, but as time went on I realized that kids wouldn't be a good idea, and I'm glad I realized it because the marriage failed.

I've accepted that I probably won't have kids, and I'm ok with it. But I hate how because I was super ultra responsible, people think there's something wrong with me. I just didn't want to end up a single mother, and I ended up being smart that way, because I'm single now. Nothing against single parents, they are wonderful and many of them are raising amazing kids. But I knew it wasn't right for me. I don't like drama in my life and separations with kids being dramatic life experiences tends to be the rule, not the exception. I can't count the amount of custody battles, child support battles I've heard about from other people.

I don't mind if I met and fell in love with someone who has kids already, although it's unfamiliar territory for me insofar as the boundaries of parenting. If I was living with a guy who had kids, well I can't be invisible to them, I'd be involved to some degree by virtue of BEING there. I know they more than likely have a mom and I wouldn't want to disrupt that, but not having any involvement with the kids at all seems a bit cold, like you're an outsider. You're not part of the 'family' if you aren't allowed to have much of a relationship with the kids, it's like you're some outsider or something, like a mistress, 'daddy's friend'. That's not what I want. Another poster up there said that he was partially raised by stepparents, and so was I. There's nothing wrong with that.

I dated a widower with a daughter awhile back. I figured out in time that he wasn't over his wife, and when we broke up part of it was his jealousy that his daughter really bonded with me. Yeah, that's me, always in the wrong place at the wrong time. i can think of loads of people who would be overjoyed if the girlfriend and kids bonded, but not this guy. SIgh.

I still miss her, she was such a little sweetheart. She used to sit on my lap and I'd read her stories, she was always hugging me, always wanted my attention. She was desperate for a female in her life, and her dad was so threatened by that, it makes me sad.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Women going to bars alone
Posted: 10/15/2008 1:27:26 PM
This is a good question and one that I've had on my mind recently. I would love to go out even by myself, even to a bar. I've held back because I don't want to be hit on by some stupid casanova. That's not what I'm interested in. At best, I thought I might be able to make a new friend or two (I moved here a year ago and I still don't know anyone outside work).

But yes, it's kept me back. I always seem to attract the hump and dump crowd because I have that sort of an 'easy mark' face. =(

The bringing a book idea is a good one. That way your intentions are clear, you are there to relax and unwind not be a bar star. It's a good conversation starter too, someone who is also a fan of what you are reading might comment on it, and then the ice is broken, and maybe you've made a new friend (based on a book, not on a hookup).
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
When Should You
Posted: 10/15/2008 1:15:16 PM
I wonder if you could be clearer on what the issue is, is it the issue with his money and debtload, or yours?

I think most men accept that women still don't make as much as men do in this world. I know that I don't make as much as most guys do, although in a period of time I will have a better salary and I will have excellent benefits (new job). I don't want a sugar daddy, and if it got to the point where I was going to live with someone, we would have to have a discussion about finances and what sort of setup he is wanting. At the least it would be halfers, and I'm fine with that. I won't pay another's way, I did that once and ended up feeling a bit used afterward. I wouldn't expect a man to pay my way either, I can take care of myself although he would have to accept that if he wanted to do a lot of expensive things like vacations, well I just can't keep up with that right now financially so he would have to do it alone until my raises start hitting. But it is inevitable that he would probably have to come 'down' to my financial level, for awhile at least.

Where I come from, my family, they share their finances and it's not 'this is yours, and this is mine'. It's this is 'ours'. The men make more (except for in one instance) but they don't view themselves as separate entities but a couple, and they share everything. That's the kind of relationship I'd like, not because I would financially benefit, I could care less about that. It's more the attitude, because what I want is real commitment, which doesn't keep a running tab of cost. I find that kind of tacky actually. But, if a guy has been financially burned before by an ex, I feel as though I have to prove that I'm not after him for his money. If that makes sense. And I can kind of understand how he would not want to be 'burned' again (although I'm the last person to do that, historically I've been very fair in breakups, I take out what I had put in).

This stuff shouldn't come up in a relationship unless things get very close, and there's some inclination that s/he might be the one. But it's ok to observe their way with money to see if that's going to be a compatibility issue later on (like if one person is stingy, and one likes to buy nice things). Or, if you prefer the direct approach, once you are exclusive you can always have an open honest discussion about it.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
 
How many people will be spending Christmas without family?
Posted: 10/12/2008 12:54:11 AM
I'll probably be alone on xmas this year, but I'm kinda used to it. Every two years my father's side gets together but I'm pretty sure this is the 'off' year when the families go to the in-laws. My mother's side doesn't really get together at all anymore, although I'll be probably seeing my aunt and uncle on xmas eve after work (I'll more than likely be working). It's all good because I can't afford to give any presents this year to my huge family so that's actually one less stress for me. Xmas is about giving, and it depresses me when I'm not able to do that.

I haven't decorated or had a tree for a long time, it isn't really practical to have decorations and stuff when it's just me. I can see other people's and xmas is really for the kids anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I love holidays simply because it's a nice break from reality once a year, to partake in things we don't get to any other time, but when it's just me here it's like so much wasted effort. I can enjoy other people's trees and stuff, and let's face it, I work retail now. I'll probably be well and sick of holiday stuff by Halloween. We had Halloween candy stored away since the end of August, and xmas stuff started arriving from our suppliers about two weeks after that. It's my first year in retail (worked wholesale for many years) and judging from the holiday dread, and stories I've heard from other folks, it's going to be far too stressful to give a damn about xmas.

When you are xmas shopping this year, I know it's stressful and many of us have smaller wallets than we may have had before, and there's a lot of pressure from the season, but please PLEASE try to remember that people who work retail are exactly that- people. Try and be kind to us in a very busy season, with chronic short staffing problems in almost every retail store out there (a lot of stores don't hire enough people to save wage costs, it's the first thing to get cut in trying financial times). I can say with sincerity that if you are nice to us, we will do our best to help you, but there's not much motivation to help someone who is demanding and rude. Speaking for myself of course, but I can't believe other people in retail aren't similar in viewpoint.

I think that most of the people that post on these forums are pretty cool and not rude, but I'm figuring there's a lot of people that just lurk and don't post. Just so it doesn't seem like I think all you regulars are rude to customer service associates or something. I know most of you are sweethearts. <3
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why are there so many Asian Women with Caucasian Men in Vancouver?
Posted: 10/6/2008 2:39:44 AM
Sorry Michaelann, but that doesn't sound like a funny story, more like a racist joke. :(
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Pride goes before the fall ... agree or disagree
Posted: 10/4/2008 11:58:11 AM
I feel it's important to put old conventions in their place and view them through a modern context.

Pride was one of the seven deadly sins, was it not? I'm not up on my sins, but yeah.

Like every emotion, there are positives and negatives. Love can have negative representations. There are people who love but can't let go, even in the face of rejection, causing all sorts of drama and problems, some quite severe. Anger is generally viewed as a negative emotion, yet anger can be a very constructive force. If one is in a situation that is frustrating, and it builds to anger, it can be the impetus that propels one to change said situation. It goes bad when anger becomes misdirected, or not directed or channeled at all. Throwing and breaking things, yelling at people because you're limit has been reached. Scenarios like that.

Pride is no different. Pride in one's appearance is a good thing. I can't see there being any negative aspect to that, one could be so prideful about one's appearance that one goes overboard and falls into harmful patterns, such as bulimia (just an innocent example, not a statement). Or one could spend far too much money on clothing, beauty products, even surgery and find themselves in big debt (as well as the self-esteem issues). Other forms of pride are a positive thing, too. But yes it can drift off into insufferable territory where it becomes more hubris than anything.

As with anything, it isn't the actual concept of pride but what one does with it. It's the intent behind it.

Keep in mind that back in the day when these adages like 'pride goes before a fall' were conceived, the population was a lot less... self-aware. Most people basically were on the simple side, and were hand fed general rules on conduct and behavior by the powers that be. There were a lot less people who thought for themselves, they basically just lived their lives and didn't worry about examining the veracity of things. They trusted their leaders a lot more than we currently do. There was no Oprah teaching people self-actualization, pushing self-help books. It was a completely different time. As far as I know.

Dignity is something very important to me, at the end of it all, it's all I'll have. I believe in dignity for everyone, especially those who were systemically denied it for reasons that I feel are superfluous. If it is out of control, that isn't a good thing, no. With everything, it's about balance. Some people don't take enough, some people take too much. Like everything under the sun, and it's a lovely thing when you get the balance right.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Do Not Call List - Canada
Posted: 10/2/2008 11:46:43 PM
Thank you ms. wayward.
I appreciate controlling the impact of others on me as there are fewer and fewer freedoms available for me to do that.When I pay for a phone I do not agree to having my payment facilitate intrusions that are strictly concerned with a recording or scripted sales pitch. I will talk to canvassers at election time (poor saps probably wish I wouldn't! ; P) I do not answer and use voice mail during some sacred times (like dinner) Sometimes I like to have the freedom with the paid service I paid for lol to pick it right up and enjoy a call from someone from way back from out of the blue, etc! That should be MY choice! I don't owe anyone so I am free of debt collector calls and my own diligence has bought me that! I figure my payment for my phone entitles only me to decide who will talk to me on it! ; )


DITTO. You completed my rant, that's a very important point to bring up.


Unfortunately it's not always that simple. These people are trained in the art of not taking 'no' for an answer. I don't know what your experience has been, but when I've been called by telemarketers, I interrupt them mid-pitch and say "no thanks, I'm not interested", but all they do is come back with a rebuttal; something like "but you haven't let me tell you about what makes this (insert unsolicited product or service here) such a great deal..." and if they continue to pester me, politeness on my part is no longer guaranteed. Sorry but I refuse to acknowledge that a stranger who has invaded my privacy and called me uninvited deserves even a second of my time.


Also ditto. I have never had a telemarketer call where they didn't accept my 'no thanks' the first time. It depends on what sort of mood I'm in, but when they don't listen the first time I ask for a supervisor, and to be removed from their list which they legally must comply. The thing is, there's nothing preventing them from selling your number on other lists, even out of spite. I have had some absolutely evil people call my house. I was polite for a long time (because that is what I am like in person, I have more cojones on the internet) but then I got tired of being a doormat.

Another forum I go to has had a few threads going about telemarketers and some people posted imaginative ways to deal with them. An air horn was mentioned once or twice. Another less jerky technique is to just talk nonsense to them, ramble on and on about anything. That one strikes me as fun. Or, just leave the phone off the hook and walk away. Keep them on the line as long as possible, and waste their time. Some of the suggestions they had were pretty mean, I'm more direct in my approach. I still thought some of them were funny, the nonsense one made me giggle.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 166 (view)
 
Sleeping with pets
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:53:24 PM
I'm glad you had a laugh from my suggestion, journey. I know if I were her and a guy did that, I'd find it super cute.

A caveat though, you really shouldn't taunt us ladies by talking about being considerate of your female friend's feelings, it's so cruel to the rest of us.

Good luck and cheers to you
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Do Not Call List - Canada
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:01:50 PM
I got word of the list being operational on another forum, and signed up quick.

My number one pet peeve is telemarketers. I don't go into or call other people's houses unless I'm desired to. I ask the same in my life. My home is my castle and my solitude from the stresses and noise from the outside world, and it really bothers me when someone calls me on my line that I pay for, just to scam money out of me.

See, I guess I should explain. The majority of people have little pet peeves that bother them, and I am no different. I see some people who don't seem to have any at all, and I admire y'all, but that's not moi. My number one pet peeve that I get downright pissed about- advertising. It's probably my only one but it's a doozy, so much so that my friends tease me about it. You might want to too, after reading this long post.

I just feel that there is too much advertising in this world. It's everywhere. You can't buy a book, watch tv, go for a drive, do anything without some stupid ad in your face trying to entice you to buy some product that you more than likely don't need, and often is a piece of crap anyway. I can understand that people might have a new product or service that they need exposure for, so that people who it would benefit have an opportunity to try it, and I don't have a problem with ads in the proper places. But we don't live in a gracious society like that (god I wish we did), we live in a society where people will put ads anywhere there's space to put them. People sell their bodies and their children's NAMES for the opportunity for a company to put a stupid ad there! Ebay had some guy who was going to tattoo an ad on his forehead, and there was a couple who were selling the rights to their baby's name to the highest bidder! WTF. I find that sick.

I appreciate things like catalogues that are merely sitting there for me to take if I want them, or ignore if that's my choosing. The newspaper, and magazines, I understand are cheaper because of the advertising, and I'm ok with them there too. I understand network tv needs advertising to make money on the programs. But I don't like my mailbox being stuffed full of garbage that I then have to deal with and throw in the recycling bin. I don't like flyers placed on my car, I don't like calls to my house, I don't like buying a dvd and being subjected to numerous ads for other movies and products, and sometimes you can't even skip past them because of the encoding. I don't like driving in heavy traffic with cars having ads plastered all over them, and I have to wonder if anybody's had an accident because someone wasn't paying attention to traffic, but trying to find a pen to write down the phone number for the pet groomer driving the Chevy S-10.

I may be coming off as a cantankerous fool, but I can assure you that this subject is probably the only one that provokes me in such a way. Most other things in life I'm pretty laid back and philosophical about. But I do have a serious issue with advertising and I am very passionate about it.

I work in retail and one of the compelling reasons I wanted to work there was because we have a company policy of no mass market advertising. We rely on word of mouth and let our products and services stand for themselves. We have never had a tv advertisement nor do we advertise in magazines or newspapers. No radio, no telemarketing, nothing. I really support that approach and that is one of the reasons why I am proud to work there.

It CAN be done if your product is actually worthwhile enough for people to try, my store is very successful proof of that. So it really irks me when certain companies take the aggressive hard sell way and condone practices that are intrusive and just plain rude, like telemarketing. I worked for a telemarketer for one day when I was 19. I can't remember if I finished the day, but I was so disgusted with the experience, especially when I was told to do anything imaginable to get the sale. I have had many calls where they plain ignored the phrase 'sorry I am not interested'. That's the point where I get snarly.

At my work, I want to sell people things that are a good value to them, things that they need. I don't want anybody ripped off. =)
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 164 (view)
 
Sleeping with pets
Posted: 9/30/2008 2:11:16 AM
journey2407- I have a solution for you that will solve your problem with your companion. When it's time for sleep (note I did not say bed, I said SLEEP ;) ) cuddle with her for awhile, then get up and gingerly leave the bed, and make like you are going to the couch. She will ask you what you are doing. Put on the puppy dog eyes and say, 'well... you see, I don't sleep so well with the dogs on the bed, so I figured I would make the sacrifice for us all (dogs included) and sleep on the couch, so that we can all get a great sleep'.

Dollars to donuts she will kick Fluffy and Butch out of the bed and invite you back.

Ok, I was kidding. But really, I hope things work out. If I was sleeping with someone, their comfort would matter to me (because THEY matter to me) and if the animals were making it difficult, I'd find a way to compromise. I hope she does too, and we have a happy PoF success with you and your companion.

Cheers, and bless you for being such a nice person.

Edit to say- lately I've been the meat in a kitty sammich at bedtime. I have no idea why my cats have gotten so clingy, but it's all good. The nights are getting colder, so it's kind of nice (except for not being able to move). Aha, perhaps that's it right there- colder temperatures.

Well I solved my own mystery there. Doh.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 9/30/2008 2:03:11 AM
Thank you for the links. I wonder though, do you have anything from the APA itself, or a different news source? Those links appear to be from some sources of which I can't help but be skeptical of, especially since they also seem to lump homosexuality with pedophilia, and one seems to be an anti-abortion site. Sorry, but I don't trust those sites, I've never heard of them before and they seem sketchy.

Your new photo is great by the way, I feel kind of silly saying that in this response considering the subject at hand, but I can't think of any other threads that I have posted in where you've made a post as well.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Pictures of Young Children On Website
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:55:13 PM
Ticketoride-


If there is any Reason to panic it would be because the American Psychiatric Association wants to delete & decriminalize Pedophilia from the Profession’s list of Mental Disorders, the drive to normalize it. What is really mind-boggling is that this Association is still accorded medical Credibility by its Peers.


Wait, what? Have you got any information, links about this?
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
who else is loving this FALL SUNSHINE ;-)
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:52:05 PM
Thank you Bella, she whose name couldn't be better chosen.

Tres belle indeed!
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Fading Friendships
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:42:36 PM
Hi Xavery, good topic.

It has happened to me a few times. My high school friends and me, most notably. My best high school friends (there were 3-4) moved on, but we still keep in tenuous touch via Facebook. People in that situation grow and need to find their life's path. Mine merely diverged. One of my best girlfriends went the family route, because she was lucky enough to find her life partner relatively young. They had children and started their life together, and they now have teenagers and a paid off mortgage, and minivan (the whole nine). Others went a less traditional path, and others traveled, some to live fairly far away.

I feel sad about it sometimes, but even though when I talk to my old friends it feels like we never lost touch, I know that I needed my time, too. I had things I wanted to do and see, and grow and learn. Just like they did. When people have kids it really changes things, and to be honest I wouldn't have been satisfied being in super close contact with some of my friends as they were going through the phase of childbirth/parenting, when I didn't have a child. The childless don't want to have discussions merely based on hip new parenting methods, and pediatric research. You don't want to be 'that guy' who rolls their eyes when the baby pictures come out, either. I am glad I was on the periphery of that.

I don't think it's anybody's 'choice' per se, it's more something that just kind of happens naturally. There's also situations where it could be someone's choice, say like if a friend gets a new career and ends up being more interested in spending social time with the new co-workers instead of the old friend, but that's sort of an unconscious choice, and I'm not sure there's anything one can do about that, but accept it gracefully and find new friends.

Looking at my old friends, I've noticed that a strong factor is that the friends are close with their mate, and friends take second place. That's ok and totally natural of course. Who would you be close to, if not your husband/wife? But to those of us who are single, it feels kind of shitty when things aren't what they used to be. Isn't that why many of us are here... to find our own 'best friend'?
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
who else is loving this FALL SUNSHINE ;-)
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:42:11 PM
Autumn is my favorite season too. Then spring, and then winter and summer. I'm so very moderate.

I had my birthday a couple of days ago, and now I'm enjoying my last year of being in my 30's. Today was a beautiful day, and everybody at work was in a good mood, it was great. I love sweaters and I can wear them now without dying. I like not having to wear a jacket too.

I love the look of the sky, and of course the trees changing colour. The air feels lovely, it's a lot less muggy. Autumn is the best. =)
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Bad Drivers, Driving me CRAZY.
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:22:35 PM
What drives me nuts is the drivers who are way overcautious, I'd rather be surrounded by speeders because most of the time, they actually pay attention to what's around them (possibly because they want to know if there's a cop around so they don't get a ticket- but the end result is the same).

I've seen and been involved in a few accidents, and it was foolish decisions or plain stupidity, never have I seen an accident caused by speeding.

The slow overcautious people have caused way more trouble. Not talking about accidents but when there are people moving slow and not letting traffic move, it tends to back up and then you have a bunch of irritated people. I have seen some absolutely horrible driving, and it's always one or two guys holding up 18+ others. On the highway it used to happen a lot when I still commuted, you'd get some person in the slow lane, which is great and I don't have a problem with that. But then you'd get some idiot in the fast lane going the same speed as slow lane guy. That creates a barrier to the highly annoyed people stuck behind. Traffic is supposed to FLOW.

I fear a lot of people don't even think about how to let traffic flow, they are merely interested in getting to their own destination. That's the number one mistake in my opinion, these days with overcrowded roads we have to get behind that wheel and actually be very aware of the cars around us. I really don't think many people think that way.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
 
The Seven New Deadly Sins
Posted: 9/27/2008 9:54:48 PM
The Catholic Church is really out of touch in my opinion. The church is a figurehead, I don't believe it has much real power or influence anymore (except of course to the devout catholics which is fine with me, they're welcome to it).

These new sins seem to be directed at leaders rather than individuals. The first deadly sins are things that anybody can do. But the second set are things that the average person won't have much of an opportunity to do, except drug dealing, abortion, and pedophilia. I would figure that drug dealing and pedophilia is a given that didn't need the Pope to condemn, we as a society have already decreed that those two things are unwanted.

Abortion- that is the one that bothers me and I wish the Vatican would drop their crusade against it. It's like a last gasp for them, the chances of abortion becoming illegal again are slim to none, I really don't think the public would allow it. I feel they have lost that battle and just can't accept it. Bottom line is it's my choice as a woman and some man in a jaunty hat several thousand miles away from me has no influence on my beliefs to that end, at all whatsoever.

Polluting, genetic engineering, being obscenely (no quantification of this word, hmm) rich, and causing social injustice are sins that most average individuals will never be in a position to partake in. I'm gonna assume that pollution is on the scale of an Exxon Valdez, that's how I interpret it. I would like to know why the Vatican is not doing more to alleviate poverty though (social justice?). They have enough money to really help out and all the charities I've seen, food banks and what not are not catholic, but protestant. I could be wrong and it might just be that there aren't many catholics in my area but worldwide I think they could do more too, and give charity without demanding one convert because that sort of charity isn't charity at all, you're demanding something in return.

I think that these new sins are just a bunch of hogwash, and their declaration of such is irrelevant.

I am an atheist, sort of. I'm more of a philosopher really. I have a sense of spirituality but it's not really anything that I do anything with other than have interesting philosophical conversations about. I do have very strong morals, and do my best every day to be a person who I can be proud of being, but religion does not preclude morality, all it takes is to have a heart.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Vocalists with Beautiful Instruments
Posted: 9/25/2008 3:18:16 AM
Oh god, Paris Hilton is horrible. I don't like Celine Dion either, as a vocalist myself she sounds horrible to me, and I have no idea how she got so famous.

I also think Bjork is amazing. Other female vocalists I love are- Beth Gibbons from Portishead, Kate Bush, Jane Siberry, Regina Spektor, Anneli Marian Drecker of Bel Canto, there are so many, and I haven't even thought about other genres like blues, or classical. There's also a lot I could name that nobody would have heard of, probably. As for males, all I can think of right now is that guy from Tool. I like his sound.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Hugs! Getting and giving them at Plenty of Fish events.
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:43:52 AM
I have to agree with the letting the fresh faces to acclimatize before the touchy feely stuff.

I love hugs, cuddling, I'm a very tactile and affectionate person, but I know that if I went to an event, I'd be far too nervous to be in the headspace for hugs, no matter how welcoming. I haven't gone to a function with lots of people for awhile, except for family gatherings, and to be honest it would freak me out and make me feel awkward. Once I get to know someone and feel comfortable, it's all good, unleash the hug barrage.

I have thought about going to a PoF event here, and I haven't gathered the momentum or time to, yet. When I do, I'd like to just chill and acclimatize and feel comfortable. Some of us can't just jump into the deep end, we have to stick our toe in before we see the water's ok. Darn us independent thinkers.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Right now...
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:42:01 PM
Driving east on the highway, stereo cranked, with no responsibility or worries (and everything taken care of).

Driving is my fondest stress reliever, and I haven't been able to go for an aimless drive for awhile. Gas prices + responsibilities = no fun for the near future.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Falling in love....Old school..
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:48:48 AM
Robisaleo- damn, such good points. I have known so many couples like that! The ones that look for reasons to not be happy with each other. Same with the finance issues, I guess people might get tired of being 'taken', but you have to get over that stuff sometime. I got taken financially once because of a relationship, so I can understand a little bit, but you can't let one or two bad experiences ruin the potential of everything that follows.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Diamonds in the Rough?
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:45:21 AM
You and me are a lot alike, OP. I also believe in diamonds in the rough. I don't expect a guy to be into the same intellectual pursuits that I am. I figure if he was that would be great but it's more about how we get along and feel for each other, rather than sharing hobbies and interests. I'm satisfied if we are interested in each other. I've said that in a few threads, that hobbies don't really factor in, because you can keep your separate interests, what is far more valuable is if you can actually relate to each other as people. Attraction doesn't have boundaries pertaining to hobbies or things like that.

I have also had a lot of compliments on my profile, I did take some care writing it and so I appreciate when that fact is noticed. The field says 'About me' and I've done my best to fulfill that.

I haven't received any conversations like you described, I guess I am thankful for that. I have gotten one liner messages, and I do find them a bit difficult to respond to, especially when they don't have much going on in their profile. Give us something to work with, guys! I just don't really know what else to say, but I could be better at taking initiative myself and asking questions. I have found that it is pretty easy to figure out what is spam and what is an honest one liner response. Typically I will send a response in kind, if I have the time I will say a little more. It can be hard to start a conversation with a stranger and I allow for that.

Speaking of which, I owe a few people some responses. I better remember to do that tomorrow.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Junk food ban in BC public schools, but Coke 0
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:03:31 PM
tripoli99- that is awesome of your brother. It's a shame he had to stop. Unhealthy food is better than no food (and therein lies the rub for low income people, of which there is an increasing amount every day).

The posts about fundraising reminds me of a quote that the BCTF has used a few times. It's more relevant to the US, as their 'defense' budget is way larger than ours, but it's something to think about. "It will be a great day when schools have all the money they need and the army must hold a bake sale to buy a bomber". And of course nowadays schools are probably discouraged from holding bake sales.

I read a story in the Province yesterday about three kids who have become black market chocolate dealers, with students and teachers both among their clientele. They are making a very good profit doing it, and passing out business cards. That came as no surprise to me. Gee, that (TAX FREE!) profit could be going towards school programs. Instead these three boys are making good money for being dealers, but of course the spin is that they are little entrepreneurs and how clever of them to provide a service where they saw a need.

I thought that you were supposed to get those thoughts of 'my how the world has changed' when you are a bit older than 38. But I have been getting those thoughts for while now. :laugh:

Anyone remember school fairs and the cakewalks? They were fun. I also remember that fishing game where a teacher or parent hid behind a screen painted like water, you'd put your toy fishing rod behind it and they'd attach a prize. Often the prize was a bag of chips or candy. It was fun because it was a treat. What are they going to do now, attach a carrot to the line? I can imagine the look on some poor kid's face once s/he reeled in the catch of the day.

It just seems that more and more anything that is any fun is being taken away. Maybe they should make video games illegal too, because hey those kids could be out playing instead of sitting on their asses. But wait- everybody's afraid of letting their kid go outside because someone might kidnap them. I guess we should just lock kids in the house, lock up the fridge and cupboards and leave them vegetables and water, and make them run around cleaning the house and doing workouts. Raise them to be proper healthy little Citizens.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Falling in love....Old school..
Posted: 9/19/2008 2:55:43 AM
Thanks Onchy. I really appreciate that. I feel like the fool sometimes, the idealistic fool.

I guess what I was getting at was that if you are in a relationship with your best friend, it'll be a relationship where the marriage itself matters. I have heard many stories from other people I've known, friends, family, even strangers. I've heard stories where two people drifted apart, and instead of making an effort to make the marriage work, one spouse turns to other people to give them what they feel they need, emotional closeness and the excitement of a new flirtation is a big one that I've noticed. The marriage breaks down, but really this situation is avoidable, if people would communicate. It takes effort on the part of both- one to communicate one's needs, the other to listen and really do something about it.

But I've also heard about many relationships with huge betrayals involved, such as one person cheating- the biggest blow to a partner's ego, attacking their very value as a mate, and yet because they truly cared for each other and were best friends, managed to work through it and come out with the marriage intact.

Nothing is certain especially where people are involved! And that is why I don't like to make generalizations, but it's hard not to sometimes. :laugh:

I know what you mean about people changing. The thing about brain injury is that people don't choose to become brain injured. A person chooses to do drugs, and I can't believe there would be anyone on the planet who doesn't know the risks involved with drugs (not talking about pot, but worse stuff). Hormonal changes are the same, it's kind of the luck of the draw. You can't know if you will or won't.

I do see what you are saying and I wouldn't judge anyone under those circumstances. I'm thinking more along the lines of conscious decisions that people make, that end up adversely affecting a marriage. Or maybe I'm just a bit insecure because I am stating that marriage is very important to me and I have a respect for the concept, yet I am divorced. But it's true. Maybe I will never get married again and that's ok, but if the opportunity arose, I'd be a lot more careful next time.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Falling in love....Old school..
Posted: 9/19/2008 1:05:17 AM
I came into this thread to basically post what crashingchloe posted. I seem to agree with her a lot.

But that's basically what I think about the whole thing. The world has changed and people seem more selfish, collectively. Plus all the psychobabble of the past decade or so, telling us that we are great and we deserve all this wonderful stuff out of life, it seems that people have more of an entitlement complex in current times than they did in the past. Things that people used to get over back in the day, are things that people will leave each other for now. If you have doubts about how you feel for your spouse, you are scared that your feelings might have changed and you don't love them anymore, well instead of actually facing that issue, a lot of people just give up and move on. It seems like there's a lot of 'buyer's remorse' in modern marriages. I find that really sad because marriage means a lot to me.

Plus, the population has exploded. Now there are lots of single people out there, plenty to choose from. I think back in the day there were less people so people would tend to stay with the devil they knew, rather than take a chance that they'd be alone.

I meant my marriage vows, until I realized that the person who shared those vows with me was not the person who I was living with. Drugs and alcohol were to blame for that. It's one thing to go into a marriage with someone and mean your vows, but it takes two and if one starts lying and changes in a bad way, I don't feel that's covered under for better or for worse.

For better or for worse is when the person is still the same person, but you experience financial hardship, go through trials and tribulations, things like that- and you go through these things together. You are saying you won't abandon them if life gets difficult (as it sometimes does) but you will stay and contribute to the marriage itself and work towards better circumstances. I don't consider it breaking vows to leave someone who has made a negative decision on their own that affects the marriage, and they don't act in accordance to the marriage's benefit. When someone chooses to take drugs or drink so much that they are unstable, well that is them bailing on the marriage, not me. It's because they made a selfish decision that only 'benefits' them, and does great detriment to the other person. There's no balance in a decision like that.

Marriage isn't just two people coming together, it becomes an entity of it's own and you have to honor the concept, not just the person you marry. I have done things for the benefit of my spouse, but also done things for the benefit of the marriage. It's kind of abstract but there is a distinction. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.

 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Disabilities?!
Posted: 9/17/2008 7:28:37 PM
Bella- That 'one more' would be a very lucky guy. ^_^

Sorry for deleting the rest of my post, I just had second thoughts and figured I'd save my self pity for... no other time.

I have a bad back, like not the bad back everyone has (especially when you need help moving a piece of furniture or something ) but a real bad back, had bone scans, x-rays, CT, injections in my spine. It's managed and nobody would know I had a problem, except for that I can't do things like the Grouse Grind (or any impact sports) and I can't lift heavy items. I can swim, ride horses (because I'm trained in riding English style, posting at a trot and proper cantering seat), ride bikes (not mountain biking anymore), but nothing where you run or have contact with other people/bases or things like that. No soccer, baseball, skiing, snowboarding, skateboarding, you get the picture. If I had a bad enough jar, I'd be paralyzed from C4-C5 down.

Not sure the cause of my thing, but I had a lot of spectacular falls when I jumped horses years ago, and I've had a ridiculous amount of car accidents, none were my fault but they damaged me all the same. I also skied and mountain biked a lot as a kid, I was quite the daredevil tomboy, and had my share of spills. Even though I am a little fragile I will be ok, I won't end up in a wheelchair in 10 or even 30 years, but I have had to wave goodbye to some activities. It's a small price to pay, a lot of people don't get that choice. If I managed to be involved in another car accident I am at a greater risk of serious injury, but the odds are all the same for everyone in a situation such as that. I don't let my issue stop my enjoying life, I'm not careful to the point of neurotic worrying. Just common sense careful.

I need a knight in shining armor to escort me and fend off all potential hazards in my path with a swing of his cutlass. (yeah right, I'm too independent for that, I want a companion/best friend, not a slave)
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Disabilities?!
Posted: 9/17/2008 5:20:19 PM
I am also learning to accept help. Having always been a strong, independent, hard working, care giving, overachieving (shall I go on?) woman, asking for help was out of the question. This was one of the biggest reasons why I've stayed clear of getting into a relationship. I never wanted to feel like I had to be physically, emotionally or financially reliant on anyone. EVER. But I now know that would not be the case. We all have our strengths and weakness. And I am entitled to mine. I am not my disability. We all need to lean on each other from time to time, and I'm no different. I have a lot to offer ..as a parent, as a friend, and as a life partner.


Aww, Bella. I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I'm also sorry that all the other thread contributors have disabilities, if I were God none of you would have to.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Taking a stance with my personal email friends
Posted: 9/17/2008 1:29:46 PM
All of my friends feel the same about forwards, so I'm lucky that I don't get any from them. We are a finicky bunch. I don't get a lot of forwards from family, I told them long ago that I've already seen everything there is to see on the internet, and they know this because I've been the family nerd for a long time. They don't send me the junk either.

I don't blame you OR, email forwards are usually really dumb and a waste of time. The same thing happens with Facebook too, people have 8 different walls, SuperWall, FunWall, HappyWall, StupidWall, and looking at some people's is a headache, they have all this 'forward this or return it to me or you aren't my frieeend' junk. I can't stand that stuff. If someone needs me to return some ascii rose drawing to them to prove I think of them as a friend, maybe I don't need friends like that. I guess listening when they need to vent, giving encouragement when they are down, all of those things don't mean anything in friendship anymore. Le sigh.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Are you a romantic?.. a hopeless romantic?... or just hopeless?
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:37:00 PM
Yep, I'm a hopeless romantic. I had to laugh when I read your OP Onchy. I still have a core of realism deep down inside, and as I age, I kind of lose more hope, but I think I'll always be an idealist. It's the bane of being a Libra with Sagittarius rising and a prominent 9th house (ignore the astrobabble if you so desire). I'm sure that if someone read all my posts that pertain to romance, they could see my hopeless romanticism in play.

I do try to tone down the crazy bits though. I'm not clingy and when I have a breakup, it's pretty clean. I've become adept at moving on. But I don't see why one can't have some fun with romance, and I have to admit I like doing things for the man I'm with. Special little things, caring things. I agree that love is an art form (or it can be) and so can the physical act of love (sex for those who don't want to read between the lines, or linens). That's my philosophy in the boudoir.

I've dated a few guys who weren't that way, and it was fine. I just hope the next person that I am with has a little romanticism, I like pragmatists but there's nothing wrong with giving your partner some TLC. =)

The great thing about being an idealist though, is that there is a resilience that helps make sad times not hurt so much. You close a chapter and then trot off to the next shiny thing, usually none the worse for wear on a level of any depth. At least that's been my experience.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does anyone here Really know what they are looking for in a mate?
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:46:57 AM

DOH !!! worldscollided between me and rings - my message was pointed at rings - you tweened us !
Hence the username. ;)
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Does anyone here Really know what they are looking for in a mate?
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:19:46 AM
I haven't put anything on my profile that I don't want, because my profile is supposed to give people some insight into who I am, not what my dream guy is. I've alluded to some things such as how I am not into sports at all, but I don't mind if other people are. Hell, if I'm in the mood I'll make a guy a sammich to eat while he watches the game (then go off to work on a hobby of my own :P ).

In my life, a couple of bf's who hit every single 'wrong' attribute ended up being the most right thing for me. Or perhaps I just look at the positives of a situation. But I can't argue with the results that the time spent with them had.

The honest truth is that I don't know what I'm looking for beyond a few givens, such as honesty, openness, general wealth of character. I know I am definitely looking for someone who is ready for a real relationship, and isn't going to lead me around while he makes up his mind. Someone who is prepared to make a time commitment too, I don't want to be last on the list of priorities.

I can get a feel after I've talked to someone awhile and I'll know if I'm feeling it or if I'm not.

I don't really have too many 'deal breaker' type things, pretty much the only ones (aside from givens like being clean, having an income, not being a serial killer, that sort of thing) are that I don't want someone who will only give me ambiguity or someone who is hypercritical. I had a relationship with an overly critical man who had a comment for everything little thing I did, and it didn't last very long. Nobody wants that though, so I'm not like a huge biotch for having it. I don't need someone to mind my business for me.

I figure I'll know it when I see it, just like how I have every other time. =)
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Death
Posted: 9/13/2008 10:33:48 PM
It's funny to see this thread because I've been re-watching my Six Feet Under dvd set recently. I'm almost at the end, the final episode always makes me cry buckets.

Have you ever imagined your own death? Pictured your own funeral. Yeah, I have. I've been to a few funerals and it's a small leap to think of your own at such times. Or when you watch a show like SFU. I hope I die in my sleep. :D Knowing me, it'll probably be something totally stupid or embarrassing, like dying on the toilet.

Who would be there, who would speak, and thought about what they might say? Family and friends. Probably other people I wouldn't have even thought would go. Not sure who would speak or what they'd say, my family is pretty good with stuff like that. We don't walk around saying how much we mean to each other, but when there's a wedding or a funeral or another big event, we have nice things to say.

Have you thought about certain music/songs you would like at your service? Yes, but I haven't actually written anything down. I probably should do that at some point.

Do you ever think about what you would do if a certain someone close to you died unexpectedly? Ie: changes you might make in your own life. Not really, I don't have anyone that I depend on beyond myself, it's mostly me who helps my parents and not even that much. Just the odd errand here and there. No changes really, just keep on keepin' on like always, there's nothing else to do really.

Have you lost someone who died too early in life, and stopped to reflect on what really matters? I have lost friends and extended family members far too young. A couple of suicides too. I have reflected on such things yes. But then I always have, without any deaths involved.

Have you ever pictured the death of a loved one? I've thought about what it would be like if they weren't around, but not their actual death scene. It was a way to prepare myself for the eventuality, to explore what life would be like without them, so that I knew what to expect. It worked sort of, with two of my grandparents who have died in the past 4 years. It made it a bit easier on me when it actually did happen.

I don't feel it's a morbid topic, it's normal and natural. I did want to say though OP that things change when you get older, and life actually gets better and easier. I used to really dread my 30's and they turned out to be the best time of my life for many reasons. I am on the verge of 40 (turning 39 in 2 weeks) and I'm still kind of unhappy about it, but I know from experience that my 40's will be even better, I'm just stubbornly holding on to the idea that youth is the best thing ever. When you hit 'middle age' a lot of internal growth comes and a lot of the crap one goes through in one's youth just straight up doesn't matter anymore, it's fantastic.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Fashion or comfort ?
Posted: 9/13/2008 10:10:32 PM
I go for both. I think I mentioned in another thread that I dress kind of like a librarian, but not the old spinster type, the younger maybe more intellectual type with nice glasses. I like turtleneck sweaters, blouses of a certain type, and nice pants, I don't wear jeans much. I don't wear skirts and dresses either, unless it's a special occasion.

I have a favorite jacket I wear, it's a Soft Schell, kinda looks like something a character in the Matrix might wear. I only wear comfortable shoes, always leather. I used to wear Doc Marten's but I finally gave up the habit, they aren't comfortable enough to justify the price. I've tried to define my dress style before, and I can't really. Maybe slightly urban-ish.

I do like vibrant colours, deeper colours, I don't own a single pink or white clothing item. I usually wear earth tones, gem tones, black and grey, that sort of thing.

When I'm home it's all about hoodies and yoga pants, pj's.

Whoops forgot the OP's questions.

What are your motivating factors? I like to look nice and feel good.
What other people think? A small handful have said things along the lines of me being overdressed, ah well.
What you like? Answered that up there aways ^^^
The quality and comfort of what you wear? I buy things that are comfortable and I wear clothes a long time, not the type who cleans out the closet every two weeks and donates stuff.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Shocking behavior, Or am I making too much of this?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:51:10 PM
Whoa, what a derail. There's nothing wrong with calling 911, that's more than a lot of people would do. Look on Wikipedia for Kitty Genovese, or 'Bystander effect'.

While I have to say that I would be very proactive if I saw a woman/animal/elderly being attacked in front of me (this means I would step in, I actually HAVE done), I can understand why someone wouldn't want to be involved. This isn't the old days anymore, people have guns, knives, you name it. A lot of people are just plain unstable and you don't know what they would do next. Sometimes intervention from an outside source can escalate things, but of course that's different for every situation and one can never know until it's too late.

No idea why but I have been in that situation a few times where someone's been attacked before my eyes. Blah. Not pleasant memories.

Back to the apple, which started it all. Damn you Eve!

I'm betting on entitlement complex. I see it a lot every day in my job. There isn't a lot of people with common decency or manners anymore, most people don't clean up after themselves, or even bother to pay for an apple it seems. I think there's a mindset, maybe their inner dialogue goes something like this: 'I have too many things to do, it's just a stupid apple, hell with it my time is valuable and I'll waste valuable seconds actually going through the process of giving money and getting change' bla bla bla. That's my best guess. There's also the ever popular 'they expect people to steal, it's factored into the bottom line, they expect some shrinkage'. I've heard that one before and it's so bloody ignorant.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Independant Films
Posted: 9/12/2008 3:11:47 PM
Onchy, heehee. My dad has done that, maybe it's a guy thing. I find it helps that I buy and not rent, because I surely won't forget if I've already purchased one, I don't like wasting money. =D

For tv series, you can use imdb as well, it lists every episode. You can also try the actual station's website, they tend to have the times and dates for the new eps.

A general question for independent film lovers- do you also find that you prefer tv shows that are off the beaten track? I know that aside from tv shows I grew up on, I prefer to watch tv shows that are originally aired on HBO, or Showtime. It's not just the fact that the censors are less stringent, although I prefer watching a show that doesn't have bleeps instead of swears, I'm an adult and I can take hearing the f word. I find that the production values tend to be higher and the subject matter goes into more depth than regular network tv shows.

This comes from a girl who owns all 3 seasons of Gilligan's Island on dvd. Can't be serious ALL the time!
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Separate bedroom?
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:45:35 PM
I'm sure this won't come as a surprise, but I prefer to sleep in the same bed with my partner. Plus there's nothing like morning loving, it's a great way to start the day. I guess I could say that I am romantic and I like the intimacy of sleeping beside someone. I love the cuddles and the tender pillow talk before sleep. I can't see myself being happy in a relationship where I had to sleep apart, no matter the reason. There's always solutions to things like snoring. Being in a relationship is compromise and solving problems together, so that both people have comfort, is it not?
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Living on your own.
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:30:52 PM
I don't want a roommate, but I do miss living with a partner. Yes I am old fashioned, I don't need all this alone time. I love living with a boyfriend, it's just the way I'm wired I guess. I've lived alone for 5 years now, since my marriage dissolved, I've done all my alone time stuff, and I'm missing sharing my space and life with another. I have a hard time understanding how living with someone means that you are giving up all this freedom and stuff, I thought it was gaining something?

I don't get how it's such an imposition to be communicative too, like for example giving your loved one a call to say 'hey I'll be late for dinner tonight, go ahead without me, the guys are going to grab a beer after work (or whatever)'. Why is that such a horrible thing? Not saying anybody in this thread thinks so, but it's something I've seen amongst friends and family before and I have no idea why it's such an intrusion into someone's privacy to let a loved one know when you won't be home at the usual time, or other things like that.

And again I gotta agree with incommunicado.

If I wanna walk around nude, I'm bloody well gonna and nobody can stop me. I've learned from experience that one's partner usually doesn't mind such antics, so it's a win/win. :laugh:
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How rationalization makes being single acceptable for some.
Posted: 9/12/2008 2:17:42 PM
I agree with incommunicado's post. I don't know why her profile disappeared, I'm going to think positive and rationalize that she might have found what she was looking for. I hope so, anyway. =)

But I do agree. We really are social animals, and all the studies in the world comparing us to chimpanzees won't change that fact. It's not just about rutting either, propagating the species, and all of that (although a lot of people think that's what makes them happy). I believe that people are meant to share- themselves, their lives, their knowledge, their affection, and that sharing gives a certain kind of happiness that is very life affirming.

I try not to rationalize my reasons for being single, I'm quite capable of understanding why I am, part of it is my fault and part of it is circumstances. Part of it is dumb luck. I agree especially with what incommunicado said here


It is also a way of avoiding examining which ways we may need to improve ourselves as people to be a loving mate and find a loving mate.
I've done that, well I always do that after any relationship doesn't work out. I did it for a couple of years after my marriage dissolved.

I can freely admit that I'm tired of being single, and I hope that circumstances change in the future. I'm not going to obsess or fuss about it though, and I have my dvd collection to warm me on those cold nights. :laugh:

Sometimes though, it's not so much rationalizing, as it is acceptance of one's circumstances. I don't have much of a social life right now because of work, and while I'd love for that to change, I can accept the fact that for now, it might be difficult to date and meet people. I hope that in time my schedule with either change, or I'll have the luck to meet someone who's schedule is compatible with mine (or the connection is so strong that we just deal with it until things get easier).

As far as your questions Onchy, my answers are-

#1- I honestly couldn't say, I'll have to think about that question, because the honest truth is that I don't rationalize that much. It might not apply to me.
#2- Not an issue. If I met someone as you described, I'd have no problem entering into a relationship. I wouldn't think much at all about whatever rationalizations I might have made, I'd be enjoying the relationship.
#3- I would be discouraged for awhile, but it wouldn't affect my not wanting to be single, after a period of introspection and getting 'over' it, I would be open again to a relationship.

Hope I interpreted this subject correctly and gave you answers that were of interest to you.

edit to say- those who do genuinely enjoy being single, or living alone or whatever, kudos to you. My post is in relation to those who genuinely don't want to be single.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Independant Films
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:15:49 PM
I love imdb, there's so much info there. If I watch a really good movie, I tend to look it up there and see what other movies from the same producers/directors/actors I might want to see. Lil' miss researcher here.

Scoped me huh :P (that's what it's there for, scope it by all means). I have odd work hours and by the time I get home from work, all my friends are asleep so I watch a lot of dvd's. I don't get weekends off either, my social life is kind of awkward. I have a sizable collection of dvd's, it's my little hobby.

Thanks for the correct name, I'm very curious and wanna find it. Do you (or anyone else) have any more recommendations? I was recently rewatching all 5 seasons of Six Feet Under, but I've only got a couple of discs to go, so it's time to find something new to watch.

*wishes WalMart and Costco would have a wider variety of dvd's on sale, grr*

Oh, here's another neat link that folks might not know about. You can browse movie titles here, and keep a list of the movies you own if you collect dvd's like I do. It's handy to have a list then if someone asks what movies you have, you can send them a link and they can see for themselves. =) http://www.dvdaf.com/

You could even just tag the movies you've watched, even if you don't own them, to show anybody who's curious. I'll stop geeking out now. =D
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Independant Films
Posted: 9/11/2008 1:33:42 PM
I love independent films, I prefer them actually. Would you consider Pan's Labyrinth to be independent, even though it won so many awards? (I'm not sure of it's pedigree). Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my favorite movies. I also love foreign movies.

Jesus Camp was totally disturbing, I'm not sure I want to see it again ever. I still haven't seen Memento and Requiem for a Dream, and I want to. It's difficult to find them around here.

imdb.com has a list of the top independent films, but I consider a lot of them to be mainstream. http://www.imdb.com/chart/independent
Like, I'd consider Platoon to be mainstream. I recently finally bought Dr. Strangelove, but haven't watched it yet, didn't know it was considered independent but then again it's a pretty old film.

Good topic OP, I only wish I was more up on my films so I could contribute more. I want to acquire more dvd's this winter. The Scottish film you mentioned sounds like something I'd enjoy, thanks for that, I will keep an eye out for it. I love films from the UK, especially anything Danny Boyle has anything to do with. Mike Leigh's Naked was also a really good film, but pretty depressing. I like movies that are 'real', not really into Hollywood glamour.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Has your motivation to vote in elections changed as you get older?
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:11:08 AM
I haven't changed with my attitude towards voting, I have always viewed it as a tiny responsibility as a citizen which I am happy to fulfil. My country really doesn't ask that much of me, there are many places in the world where (for example) you are required to do military service when you come of a certain age (Finland and Israel for two) and I do live here, so it's the least I can do. I am thankful that I was born in Canada, and I do love this country even though it isn't perfect. I am proud that we always rate on top of the UN charts for good places to live, and I am extremely glad that we have certain things like universal health care. I appreciate living in a country where if I suddenly had a reversal of fortune, I would be taken care of until I got back on my feet.

But we aren't perfect. There are many legitimate complaints towards our governments both federal and provincial. I hope that even though a lot of issues I care about will definitely fall by the wayside, the general structure in our country will remain, no matter who is in power. I always vote, it's the least I can do for my country.

It is very easy to become discouraged with politics in this day and age. So very easy. But even when my party loses, I would hope that my vote added to the tally will help keep them active, so that they can at least BE there and at the very least, be eyes to what happens in Parliament/Legislature, otherwise a lot of things might slip by, this has happened recently with a few bills.

I vote NDP, I don't really care about my privacy, I'm not ashamed of who I vote for, nor do I care if someone judges me because of who I vote for. We haven't won anything in a long time, but the principles the party stands for are still relevant, and even without being in power, they can still help to keep balance on the more controversial issues that would lead to drastic change.

The chances of there being a party who gives everybody what they want are slim to none, this population is too diverse, and people have too many differing motivations. Some people want what's best for them, others want what's best for the general good, there's a fair bit of polarization on a lot of current hot topics. The chances of politics being altruistic is also slim to none as far as I am concerned, everybody's looking after their own self interests to some degree, some more than others. But refusing to vote doesn't help matters much, in my opinion. Votes are about more than who actually wins, because of the way our government is structured. Even if your choice loses, they can still have some say in what goes on.

I know there is no party who stands for everything that I do, but I figure a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. At least there's a party that stands for most of the things that I believe in. I would change my affiliation if a party or candidate appeared who was more in line with everything I want for this country, but that hasn't happened yet.

One year I volunteered at the polls and was a vote counter. It was really interesting and I'm glad I had the opportunity. It made me feel like part of the process. It's kind of a unique experience to see these very important papers with people's votes on them.

I guess it comes down to that we can **** and complain (and rightly so, don't get me wrong) or we can actually make an effort. I will keep making that effort, at least for the time being. Maybe I'll be more cynical in the future, who knows.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How do Vancouverites cope with the RAIN?
Posted: 9/9/2008 9:45:50 PM
Sorry if I contributed to a thread derail, I just thought it was a branch of a similar tree, and I posted about the light in case some people hadn't heard of such a thing (that could be helpful to them).

The light is not solely for use for people with SAD, it's also useful for people on shift work and people who experience a bit of listlessness when winter comes.

Again, sorry.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How do RAINcouverites cope with the RAIN?
Posted: 9/9/2008 6:39:13 PM
For those of you who get a little Seasonal Affective Disorder, you can buy those light therapy consoles, and they are not as out of reach to purchase, probably because a LOT of people get winter blues so the demand is high. They are lights that simulate the sunlight (not sure exactly) but you merely have to sit in front of one for a certain time every day, and I've heard it is brilliant at mitigating the effects of autumn and winter. A quick google found this model - http://www.costco.ca/Browse/Product.aspx?Prodid=10296300&whse=bcca&topnav=&browse=&lang=en-CA

Not too bad, around $150. I have never personally used one but I have heard a lot of good feedback from people I've known who have used them. If you can get doctor support, you may even get reimbursed for all or part of the cost, through either insurance or at income tax time.

Have any of you tried them?

Bella, I love what you wrote, I'm the same way. Rain just feels so good. :D
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How do RAINcouverites cope with the RAIN?
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:28:21 PM
Well, I am used to being the odd one out because I like the rain. I love storms, wind, and I like the sound of the rain pounding on the roof. I don't like when it rains for weeks on end, one needs a little relief from that and it does get me down a little bit when we've had 3-4 weeks straight of rain.

I just find rain refreshing. I am of Nordic origin so my genes are acclimated to this climate. That's my excuse anyway. I love going walking in the rain, and I don't use umbrellas, it's just water, it's not going to hurt me.

If I find I am feeling down from the constant downpour, I just try to do something that picks up my mood, maybe buy a new dvd, or go out and grab a coffee with a friend. There's sporty activities you can do indoors, there was one alluded to already ;) but there's lots of gyms around, and probably places where you can play racquetball and things like that. Or laser tag, things like that.
 worldscollide
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Are people having more difficulty managing their anger than...
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:32:34 PM
X, I have noticed a lower anger threshold in general. I agree with Phuqd, and I see angry behaviours every day. I have arranged my life with a lack of stress being the focus, hell I even moved to Abbotsford to get further away from all the traffic and hordes of people. It is very rare that I get angry, when I do it's in the face of injustice of some sort. Mostly, the things that the OP and a few other posters described make me more into a bit of an Eeyore, instead of an angry ball of rage. When stresses pile up, I mope a bit and have thoughts of 'why can't things be different' but soon enough I'm re-energized and just don't let things bother me all that much.

A lot of people overreact and assume the worst, I see this happen a lot. Like if you don't return a phone call right away, they assume that you are ignoring them or something like that, and they get pissy, when in reality it could be an emergency came up or something like that.

I remember something that happened in my old apartment in Langley. We were told not to open the door for people who didn't have a key, because some undesirables were getting in and causing damage (one went after his ex after someone let him in, bad scene, he was kicking her door). I came home from work one day to see this 6'2" mountain of a man, who grabbed the door when I opened it. I stood in the doorway blocking it and told him that I was sorry but I couldn't let him in as per the manager. He tried to bully me, and when I stood my ground he went into the courtyard and started screaming invectives. I was frightened that he might hurt me, but I am not swayed by bullies. I told the manager and she was pissed, and had very stern words with this person's friend (who lived in the building).

The next day I walked out to my car, and both mine and the manager's cars had been keyed. That's what cowards do I guess, especially mountainous tall strong man cowards who are unsuccessful at bullying a little 5'1" woman. I suppose he was putting me in my place or something. *shrug*
 
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