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 Author Thread: Friends/coworkers/etc finding out you use a dating site.
 mysavior
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Friends/coworkers/etc finding out you use a dating site.
Posted: 12/19/2008 8:16:18 PM
So,

This is my fear, and its one of the main reasons that I haven't uploaded a picture for my profile.

Aren't you all scared those around you will stumble across your profile online and "know"??!

I think I would be in for quite a bit of embarrassing situations if word were to get out that I use this place.

What do you do to buffer over situations when others find your profile online?
 mysavior
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Thoughts on my profile?
Posted: 12/19/2008 8:13:30 PM
Hi,

I've been here for a while, and I'm trying to take the site seriously now.

What do you think of my profile? What would you suggest that I do to improve it? I'd like to keep it short and to the point, because I realize that no one reads the walls of text.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member6806461.htm

Thanks.
 mysavior
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
I have a problem accepting some women as equals (can't respect them).
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:52:41 PM
>>Personally I think you did us all great justice by presenting your forum post...
>>
>>Now women everywhere will know in advance..to stay the hell away from you!!(except those who will "try and change you") For those women, I will look forward to their silly forum threads.
>>
>>Thank you for that!

:)

If only every a**hole announced himself like I have.

...if only...
 mysavior
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
I have a problem accepting some women as equals (can't respect them).
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:59:58 PM
The main points I've taken away from what everyone has said are as follows:

- I need therapy. This was, by far, the most common response in this thread. Therapy it is.

- Attraction/repulsion based on looks is natural and is the norm. Understood. Dare I say that realizing this fact of life helped to pull me down into this mess?

- I have low self-esteem. Alright, this was hard to take, but I guess its the truth. Am I angry at the unfairness of being judged based on the way I look, or am I acting out due to a low self-esteem in order to protect myself? Maybe I'm doing both.

- Women wouldn't date me, because I'm an ass. Yes, this is my fear. At the current moment in time I don't have a problem attracting women (granted, the thoughts I shared in my OP haven't ever been told to anyone else), but I'm worried that in the future I'll alienate and repel the woman of my dreams, because I wasn't man enough to get over this dumb sh*t.

- Transitioning/transforming from nerdy to attractive is very common. I can believe this, especially with the examples that have been shared.

- I'm a troll. I suppose this affirms the previous point about nerd to "stud" being cookie-cutter.

- I need to stop living in the past. I agree.

- I need to enjoy my new self. This was another point that was hard to take. I'm definitely afraid of settling into who I have become, because I'm scared I'll go back to the way I was. I mean, I lock up on the thought of getting used to the attention and "acceptance" only to fall back to being nerdy and overweight, then being rejected and avoided by those that once "accepted" me. The fear of relapse also causes resentment, because it leads back to the unfairness (in my mind) of being judged mainly by my cover.

Well, I got some solid advice from this thread, so thank you all very much for responding. I don't know how I'm going to get over this resentment/fear, but therapy seems to be the way to go.

Thanks again.

PS: Its funny how many people got off on "sticking it to me."
 mysavior
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I have a problem accepting some women as equals (can't respect them).
Posted: 6/7/2008 7:26:56 PM
I've noticed something recently, and its the fact that I can't seem to respect women. I think it may be related to my young days when I was fat and excessively nerdy and couldn't get a girl. They'd be my best friend, always would hang out with me, but at the end of the day they went fooling around, and I had nothing. I asked some of them out and I got the "we should just be friends" bit, along with a bit of gossip behind my back about how that "nerd" asked them out.

Anyway, I dealt with this for a long time, but then circumstances (got sick) caused me to lose weight, and now I'm becoming succesful in business, and I'm beginning to dress well, and take care of myself.

Of course, like clockwork, I begin to attract women. Normally there are guys fighting for this attention and loving every minute they get, but in my case all that I can see is the difference in a woman's reaction to me and the fact that the only things changed are my body and my $$. This, needless to say, has filled me with a great deal of resentment, and now if I even go out with a woman I treat her like shit. All I can think is, "you are only interested because I look like a nice piece of ass."

I don't really have a problem with being resentful, but I'm worried that this attitude will begin to alienate me from women first, but then everyone, and that if "the one" were to come into my life, then I'd dismiss her without as much as a thought.

I would really do well with some advice for getting over this resentment of mine. Also, I wouldn't mind some advice as to how to avoid shallow women. I know this should be easy, but all I can think of what the complete rejection I got when younger and how no one seemed to want to get with me as the nerd I was.

Thoughts?
 
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