Their lives however will NEVER CHANGE ... they dont change ... they just eventually find a next victim to bring down. Its so sad. I implore anyone who is thinking or wondering or making excsues when the sign is on the wall to do whatever you have to do to force yourself out of this sick merry go round.

EVERYTHING GETS BETTER.

I finally told mine that I thought she exhibited traits of narcissism and OCD. OM gGGGaaahh "D".... I doubt she'll EVER speak to me again!!! LOL Whoa, that was a definate blow to her psyche...

Haha Suzette, my friends told me the same thing & because he told his new gf that BS that he was capable of anything. I know I am only hurting me by being angry cuz he could give a shit less about what he's done, the damage is done, he's laughing & moving on, I don't miss him & wouldn't give him a second glance if he was crying in pain on the side of the road, that's how angry I am. Thank you for the post, I will check it out. I need to do something cuz the anger is spilling over into future prospects. I don't want to become the bitter jaded cat lady, but I don't want to let my guard down either.

Does anyone out there wonder if the feminist movement and the Dr Phils and Oprahs have actually benefited us? I mean, families are breaking down, traditional roles are being mocked, and the simple, humble lifestyle seems to be getting the short end of the stick.

If we stopped listening to the psychologists and New York babbleheads, and instead learned things like humility and respect, maybe life would be so much simpler.

No charity, I don't agree..after knowing one and a friend who was married to one this NPD goes wat beyond sociopath. They are much more cunning. Its not an excuse its a diagnosis. There are many parts of human behavior yet to be discovered. Its another way to compartmentalize eat disorder by its behavior and symptoms..including family history. Not every mental disorder is the same. This goes way beyond sociopath..which most think is the worst..its not.

OK people...you win...I am a pathetic liar. Mostly pathetic. I tried to state my case for others and managed to make myself look worse than I even feel. I give up.

So let me list the issues I have with this guy:
1) He refuses to answer his cell phone - He will (sometimes) call me back when he sees that I call (75%) of the time, but it may take him 1-7 hrs.

2) He only does things when "HE" wants to do them. He only calls back when he wants (not because he's busy but because he says "His life does not revolve around his phone and he is not going to allow people to dictate his time" (which unfortunately, includes me)

3) We have very little communication during the week. He may text me one or two words Mon - Thurs.(hi or what's up?) Sometimes he will call on a weekday but the convo only lasts 5-10 minutes.

4) He is EXTREMELY sensitive. I have to watch every word I say because I recognized early on that he takes everything that is not outright praise as a criticism. Last night, I diplomatically, and very gently let him know that I miss him during the week and feel that we need to communicate more and that I like a very close relationship -- (basically saying that I needed more from him). He immediately got very quiet, got out of the car and said he was going home. Although he DID have to go to work, there was still 4 hours before he had to go. He ususally stays on Sundays with me until 8'ish, but after I told him how I was feeling he just left (at 4:30).

5) He gets mad about the smallest things and I always am the one to apologize even though I think what he's mad about is insignificant. ie. He is actually mad at me now for expressing my need for wanting more communication. When he gets mad he goes silent (he withdraws and won't talk or text me at all). A few days later he will send me a text to see if I will respond. I always do and don't punish him at all for being immature.
That's another thing he is 41, not a kid.

I looked up traits of Borderline Personality Disorder and I think it fits him to a tee. Does anyone know anyone like this? Or do any of you have any experience with someone like this who is extremely sensitive, controlling, but very sweet at times. It has been a real roller coaster lately dealing with this man.

Thanks to everyone for your input. I have been told in the past that I am "too picky" and I know I can overreact at times. I am a little wary of him...a few weeks ago, I had invited him to dinner at my place and he told me that he was celebrating his brother's birthday. Well....tonight, he was talking about his brother and he mentioned that he and his brother were born on the same day, five years apart. His bday is in December. I am disgusted right now....

Britt, point is... just about everyone is telling you can do better.

He hasn't really opened up about anything bad in his childhood, but he has a lot of bitterness towards his mother and women in general. And his last romantic relationship was bad too- she cheated with a couple of his childhood friends and hit him a few times.

Don't want to commit, but wants to keep tabs on me, still hang out with my family, go on dates, ect. Have any of you had an experience like this before?

I mean, right now we are FRIENDS, which is what I thought he wanted, but then he gets all jealous when I am seeing someone else and just generally still wants to hang on but not commit. He's alone all the time and doesn't date ANYONE, or even allow close friendships or close relationships with family members. I just wish things would go ONE WAY or the other, and he can't seem to do that for me. So I guess I just wanted to know if anyone has dealt with something like this, and what you decided to do.

OP: One, congratulations on finding a mate that partakes in your lifestyle. That is a rarity indeed! Two, It is quite common for a man to be dressed as a full fem. There are many you would not even suspect to be gals!

Were your children put in day-care, was there any thought about leaving work to be a full-time parent? It just seems that there is a push for more stay-at-home parents.

I found it odd that a lot of women in my office often complained that there were not enough single guys in the office(I actually considered this to be somewhat sexual harassment). I guess they didn't want to meet guys in bars or outside of work. I wasn't really comfortable with dating at work, but I suppose some Men and Women think its okay. I just don't like everyone knowing my personal business.

damn I would gladly stay home and raise children!

any takers?

Women are just pissed off that they are now expected by society to be contributers outside the family home. No longer socially expected to be the proverbial Stepford Wife/Stay At Home Mom...but now expected to be breadwinners too. They whined so long about being oppressed and "held back" by the man, and by society and that they were denied all the fantastic benefits and opportunities to better themselves outside the home...that now when they get what they want, they have the gall to b!tch about THAT now.

There seems to be a lot of female profiles on here who have "stay at home mum" in their profession field. But it seems most of these women are not willing to date an unemployed man.

No one survives on less than 5-6 good hours sleep a night, and 7-9 hours is the normal range for adults.

I've stated this before. One of my concerns is that women are being abused, divorced, beaten and ostracized by ejaculating and their partners think it's pee. Every jerk who posts saying "ITZ PEE" perpetuates that idiocy. It may be "just and opinion" but if some dude reads, "ITZ PEE" and beats the schnot out of his wife/gf because she ejaculated then might I suggest you should be more concerned with THAT aspect of this discussion than with me calling idiots reeetards.

What you struggle with is not on the same level of narcissism. YOU know
when your behavior affects someone and WANT to do something about that
behavior - Narcissist DONT CARE how they treat people or try
to get help. Its about them.

They dont treat ANYONE well- That is PATHOLOGY : The inability
to grow, or develop insight into your own BEHAVIOR.

Thanks again for your input, I know that you and others are right. Im strong enough to get through this.

Question: In your opinion do you think a friendship could exist between us? I dont mean dating I just mean a friendship especially now that I know his disorder and know what to expect, whereas before I did not know or understand the behavior - I do miss his humor and the things we did (places we went etc.,) and the extended family I was close to. I have had to keep away from them while going NC with him.

I've contemplated your Mom's cancer and I'm sorry. BUT W.T.F. has that got to do with the discussion here. My Father had liver cancer and when they were killing him with chemo and radiation and more chemo I doubt he could maintain an erection. I should mention that in the thread that asks if sex is better if there's LOVE involved and see if anybody can grasp the association because THERE IS NONE!!!

Female ejaculation is a very special form of arousal and a type of physical release that is not even understood or acknowledged by many so-called experts. The most common MISconception is that the liquid HAS TO BE urine because ... well just because. They provide NO basis for their claim other than to say it is. ANYBODY who has experienced this with a VERY turned on woman and hasn't fled the scene for a HazMat suit, KNOWS it is NOT urine.

On the other hand severe bladder, kidney infections and cancers of the area I'm sure produce their own unique concoction of bacteria, body wastes and organ discharges ... which I again I'd like to point out HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS DISCUSSION!!!!!!

(but thanks for the visuals anyway)

He would often say that I SCARED him. I did not know what he meant at the time and to this day I cant figure out why I scared him... I can only assume that he knew that I saw through his false self because he stepped up the distancing and devalueing.

ps: sorry Quazi ( I do respect your thoughts) but I DONT think they know the meaning of love because when you read the text books it states that they hate themselves first and foremost but turn it round to look like "love" just like they love supply (women ) but are mysoginists (sp)

It troubles me that your friend the neuropsychologist is willing to make a diagnosis without ever having met the woman. I work in the mental health field myself and as a rule, do not go around diagnosing people based on what others share with me. That is unless, you happened to have a copy of her MRI or PET handy and gave those to your friend?

From the tone of your rambling message here I suggest your neuropath friends next drive by diagnosis should concentrate on YOU sir!

You're neither a good judge of character and the decent, honest guy thing is subject to more familarity with you so that this has only happened twice should include the phrase "so far....".

Keep in mind that "anything looking too good to be true usually is......"!!

I suppose we often "excuse" these peoples behaviors by giving them labels. I do not, but social norms often do, and we are supposed to feel sympathy while they do their deeds.

Quasi. actually i rewatched the video and realize that Dr. Carter did mention the kindling effect briefly. I wonder if this bp is causing my memory problems as well ;)

He does not love her - he gets something from her.

Make no mistake- they do not love you - they can not feel love. They dont
know how.

But practically anyone with poor eating habits, relationship issues, and chemical dependancy like coffee, cigarettes, pot or other drugs, pms, menopause, post partum problems, abuse and anything else that can mess with your psyche can also cause a chemical imbalance if not treated.

what a very sad and ignorant attitude

Im interested in learning about this kindling ammazzed.. I went manic back in 2007 and havent had another episode since. Ive reduced stressful triggers and though im not against drug treatment, ive been managing fine without any drug intervention. I can see if i cant handle triggers such as stress than im at a greater potential of being manic again.