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 Author Thread: Brown Eyed Girl needs help
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Brown Eyed Girl needs help
Posted: 5/6/2009 9:42:13 AM
Hey, fellow Cheesehead!

None of us are good at writing about ourselves. We just take the good things others have said about us and reword it so it sounds even better. Okay Brown Eyed Girl, I'm glad to hear that you referenced the song, but folks our age usually connect it with Van Morrison. Either is fine, just have some fun with with it. I was hoping to see a line from the song. Something from a few stanzas in (Standing in the Sunlight, Laughing) would really be cool for a headline, but even the first line (Hey Where Did We Go?) would work. The problem with the rest of your profile is the absence of your personality. You seem to have gone to the format of "I like this, I like that. . ." I think you should intersperse something that expresses what you're thinking, feeling while doing the things you like.


I love Buffett (as my name may indicate) the beach and the lifestyle. Other interests are reading,hanging out with friends and spoiling my grandson.I like going to concerts and sporting events, rummage sales & the farmers market. I'm a hard worker, been at my job for over 10 years and I do love it!
Did you notice that there's nothing that a reader can imagine himself enjoying with you? Even a fellow "Parrothead" might need to do an imaginative stretch. Where were you on July 19, 2008? Was that you dancing on the picnic table? Do you know where you're gonna go when the volcano blows? Where will you be on August 29, 2009? What I'm trying to demonstrate is that you need to make your interests sound fun!

You mentioned rummage sales and farmer's markets. Feel free to steal what I've written on a similar topic. Just rewrite it so that it works for you. Profile writing isn't about being original. That's evidenced by all those who've mentioned "long walks on the beach", You're dangerously close to that common mistake, but the jury hasn't reitred yet. All it is about is looking, reading, gaining advice and sometimes stealing something that worked well on another person's profile.

- T
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Guys Pretty Please Review
Posted: 4/30/2009 12:20:14 PM
Cuddler1979 wrote;

My fake smiles really look fake...I'll try though...lol

If there's one singular truth about photos on a dating profile, it is this. Your smile looks immensely better to your reader than it does to you. You'll need to trust us when we say that one smile (c'mon, even a sarcastic smirk) would really light up your visual presentation.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Request for Profile Review
Posted: 4/22/2009 4:13:23 PM
You made a comment with a playful glint of sarcasm. I liked it, it made me smile

Having two typos may have prevented the woman of my dreams from contacting me. lol


I think however, you may have failed to connect the thought to where it actually applies. In response this by XVermonter,

Just mentioning it elsewhere in the profile isn't enough. Women will scan the stats first before reading the entire profile. XV


you wrote.

Thank you! I feel that it is enough, but I appreciate it very much.


You're exhibiting a logical disconnect. The perfect woman may be doing just as XV has outlined for you. If you think it's enough, then you don't need a profile review. It's working just as you've deigned it. On behalf of XV (if I may) you're welcome.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Is there a way to keep my name from being censored?
Posted: 3/17/2009 11:36:00 AM
No, not really. You could do what my brother and just about every other similarly named adult started doing back in the '80s. Just use the first syllable of your given name. Issue settled.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Post links to good profiles
Posted: 3/17/2009 6:14:56 AM
What you're requesting is not likely to happen, as it is against stated rules. Anything involving third parties is just bad NETtiquette regardless of how it's stated in the rules. Before this thread gets deleted, feel free to glean whatever you can from mine. I recieve a few new contacts each week and about a 60% return on the contacts I make. If questions occur to you, just ask. I'm a regular reviewer (somewhat) and would be glad to help.

- T
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
I'm back and in need of a review!
Posted: 3/12/2009 3:55:30 PM
I'm back to reviews too, so I hope I still have the juice. From the beginning . . .

Pictures
Great! I mean A++! You have a great smile and show it off in each shot. Very nice job there, can't think of a single change to suggest.

Screen Name
Not exactly spectacular, but really, the quality of the pictures make up for it. The name is niether a positive nor a negative so nothing lost there.

Headline
Pretty much the same commentary as for the Screen Name. It's seems to work in the context of you, so I suggest to keep it.

Interests
Damn-near perfect selection.

About Me
I gots nothin'. You could possibly try to sound like less of a perfect catch so that your inbox wouldn't be so full.

First Date
If there's anything that I could come close to criticizing, this is the section. I really don't have much, because it's not a very important section for the female members. My criticism has to do with the absence of you here. You set a really cool and playful tone in the previous sections, and I think you abandoned it here. Really though, I don't think you've lost any points at all.

Overall, this is a great profile. Seriously, you should become a regular poster in this particular forum and offer advice to those having trouble accomplishing what you already have. Excellent job and best of luck to you.

- T
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
I guess I just called my girlfriend fat
Posted: 1/28/2009 6:24:46 PM
Your point here, illustrates my original impression of the rhyme. . .
sweetness-one wrote;

And yeah...you did kind of insult her. "Jack Sprat could eat no fat; his wife could eat no lean". Again...if she's dieting...wouldn't that again cut out the excessive fat in her diet??
Yes, and since Mrs. Sprat "could eat no lean" she was eating only fat. It sounds to me like the Mrs. was trying to pack on pounds. In my mind, that meant she was too skinny. Message lost in delivery; mea culpa.

Me and my addiction to fat and carbohydrates means that a meal for me (consumed in her presence) would consist of many of the very things she's trying to avoid. Second message lost in delivery. Mea mas culpa.

If either of us cooked for us both, it would stand to reason that all the veggies, meats, carbs, fatty and lean items would get consumed and at the end we could "lick the platter clean." Third message lost in delivery. Mea maxima culpa. It's all good now; time, cooler heads and such.

To Tiger;
She's been doing the DVD workouts for a few days and is doing quite well. She's a former athlete herself and is really not out of shape. Like I said on the previous page, she looks great. She simply has a goal and is working toward it.

I did have some opportunities to observe and noticed a few things. One subtle criticism is that the host could do a bit more to explain how to perform the exercises at different intensity levels. You know, altering certain postures for different ability levels. I was able to help a bit in that regard.

I tried a few of the exercises and can tell you this; the program is no joke. I'd recommend it to anyone that plans to get serious about strength and conditioning. Most of the equipment can be found at your local big-box merchandising outlet. Lots of bang for a minimal investment.

Mostly, I spent the evening in the kitchen broiling salmon filets, steaming broccoli and on the phone ordering a pizza. Rehab my addictions to fat/carbs? . . . no. No. NO!

;)

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 59 (view)
 
I guess I just called my girlfriend fat
Posted: 1/28/2009 10:51:46 AM
Azureorb wrote;

I would have said "Actually, I'll stop talking in a moment, but show some respect."
I like how you phrased that. I may just use it. It's copyright free, correct?

In regard to another poster's question; no. I'm not anorexic. Just naturally lean and a lifelong athlete. My workout regimen is geared toward anaerobic endurance and muscular hypertrophy. In general, those are tough goals to accomplish without a high calorie diet. Especially so for me because that's just the way my system is wired.

If we were to sit and eat the same meal, I'd consume about four times the volume that she does. Or we could cook/consume dishes that simultaneously help our separate goals, while each of us eats only certain things on the platter. Wow, what a novel idea!

The same professional ethics that govern my on-the-job behavior as a Firefighter/EMT and as a Personal trainer (most are covered under HIPAA) are applicable in regard to the woman I'm with. Her reasons for wanting to lose weight will not be discussed by me to anyone other than she.

- T

{edited to add}
V V V Google "P90X" or 'beach body"
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 55 (view)
 
I guess I just called my girlfriend fat
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:47:08 AM

If you are so hot (just curoius, a lot of "on line personal trainers" here with no photos) then why are you even with her????
I never said I was "hot." I've always described myself (including in several PoF forum posts) in words similar to a good body with a face for radio. Pictures? While they serve a purpose for those who are actively fishing, I don't think they're necessary for me to write posts on the forums.

Thanks though, for the endorsement. ;)

- P
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
I guess I just called my girlfriend fat
Posted: 1/27/2009 2:27:20 PM
You folks are challenging my ability to annotate. Well, here goes. . .

Wildman46 Msg. #3

My man an ever bigger issue is this, are you really that wimpy that a woman can tell you to be quiet and you actually stop talking?. This woman "Shush" you in public and you go into a shell, Am I correct in assuming that your man card was taken away years ago?.

That being said. I can see her being somewhat annoyed by your choice of words during the discussion. Women are very sensitive about issues like weight, you need to thread very lightly while those topics are being discussed. But i see nothing here that some flowers and make up sex will not make better.
I knew I'd get raked over the coals for that issue and deservedly so. For the record, I regard them as separate issues. The comment, was better left unsaid and the "shushing" is behavior that is destructive to our relationship. It's part of an array of issues, some hers and some mine. I'm conceding this particular discussion because it was I who stepped in it that night.

Abelian Msg #7

The first thing you ought to do is figure out that your different weight goals do not require different diets. If you think they do, you're letting fads stand in the way of eating together. Second, your rule about not acting as a personal trainer for your gf is very sound. I made the mistake of trying to do that with a gf that wasn't all that motivated (in my opinion) to work out hard enough to accomplish much in the way of fitness. Needless to say, she stopped althogether.
I'm certified as a Personal Trainer, but not as a Dietician. Either way, my advice is more "as I say," than "as I do." I have a very low-maintenance body, can eat anything I want and still get maximum response with minimum effort in the gym. Yes, I'm the one everyone hates and I would by my presence alone serve as a saboteur to her efforts. When I crave pizza and beer, I have several joints on speed dial and they all know my voice.

Msgs #5, #6 and #8

Grow some balls
Yes, she has control issues. Guess what, so do I. It's all part of the daily give and take. We're working it out.

Abelian Msg #9

. . .he's digging himself into a hole (which appeared to be true.) Use the man card for something worth while.
Definitely on the correct track. First, I can be a real prick when arguing, especially when I'm PO'ed and certain I'm right. Don't believe me? Ask either of my ex-wives. One thing I've learned is that it's necessary to learn from some past mistakes and change some behaviors. If I had started arguing that night, I would have very likely hammered at the point that the rhyme had nothing to do with Mrs. Sprat being fat. I would have been incorrect and definitely digging in the wrong direction.

Msgs #11 - 17
Good points, all.

Msg #19
Yeah, it's pretty funny to me too, although I'm keeping such comments under my hat. Weight issues are usually funnier to those of us that don't have them. It's a sore spot for her, so I need to have a bit more empathy. I can do that.

Loppi65 Msg #20

Be the hero in this case and apologize for your poor choice of words. Women are very sensitive about their weight as some men are about their you-know-what :o)

Then, when she's all happy and smiley again, make sure you communicate to her that her shushing you in public is humiliating and disrespectful and you won't tolerate it. But it's unsure how she "shushed" you. Did she tell you to stop talking now, or did she yell to shut the f**k up? If the latter, then yip, don't tolerate it. If she just said "stop talking now," it was probably because she was close to crying, and/or was so angry and wanted to avoid a scene. It's difficult to say, unless one was there to actually witness the conversation.

Good luck OP.
That's it right there. I do plan to address the "shushing" issue, but at a time when the insensitive comment is not so fresh in her mind. For the both of us, it would be better discussed when our heads are cooler.

Msg #21 and a couple of others.
I need to put on the Trainer's cap and address this. Regardless of what I think about that 30 pounds, it is in fact neither "fat" nor '"skinny." What it in fact represents is the numerical representation of her goal. I think she looks great. She really does, but her goal is to be lighter/smaller. Be I trainer or lover, it's my duty to respect her wishes on the matter. Yes, I'm 6'4" and 205. If you (in general) think that's skinny, that matters not at all to me.

Nightwing66 Msg #23
Yes, offsetting penalties. "After further review. . ." :D

BBW2love Msg #32

Just let it go OP. If she has any sense, it will all pass in a day or two. If not, enjoy the drama of being whipped.
Very well put. I look at it like this; I was flying solo for nine freaking months and hated that, so I can't complain too much. As for whippings/being whipped, that's another topic altogether. ;)

Just remember everyone, I made that comment several nights ago. Saturday, to be exact. It's not like we haven't talked since then. I shared here, because I knew that there was something to be learned form discussing the topic. Seriously, it's all been helpful and I appreciate the feedback. I also hoped everyone could enjoy a chuckle at my expense.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I guess I just called my girlfriend "fat"
Posted: 1/27/2009 8:17:51 AM
It was a few nights ago after we had spent the afternoon and evening shopping for healthier meal options. She's about to start P90X and I do some private sessions as a fitness trainer. I have a line which I will not cross and that is to not be the trainer for someone with whom I'm romantically involved. . . another rant:another time.

Our conversation migrated across several topics including how it would be hard for us to dine together because of our disparate dietary goals. She's about 30 pounds above her goal and I'm about 15 pounds below mine. Anyway, I was trying to tell her that I agreed with what she was saying.


GF I think we should probably eat separately for the first few weeks of this program.

Me I agree because our goals are different.

GF Yeah, you're still trying to gain weight, aren't you?

Me Yup, that plus I have no intention of rehabbing my addictions to fatty foods and carbohydrates.

GF Yeah, you'd be like a diet saboteur.

Me On the other hand, we could be like Jack and Mrs. Sprat.

GF I'm not fat.

Me I never said you were fat. That's not even what the rhyme says.

GF I think you should stop talking now.
The rest of the evening was spent with both of us quietly steaming. I can't write on what was going on in her mind, but here's my side.

1. In the face of conflict, her common tactic is to "shush" me and this was one of the times she did it in public. In the first place, asking me to not talk Is like asking M Night Shymalan to edit the cliches from his movies.

2. She tells me I'm the "best boyfriend she's had" or the "nicest guy (yeah, I know) she's ever known" so in spite of that, she thinks I'm insulting her about something that isn't even an issue for me.

3. Last but not least, that's not what the rhyme is about! Mrs Sprat "could eat no lean", implying all she ate was fat. There is nothing in the rhyme describing the silhouette of Mrs. or Mr. Sprat.

Well, the next morning I "Wiki-ed" the entry on Jack Sprat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Sprat

Fine, apparently it's a shorthand for couples where the male is slim and the female is obese. I sure didn't get that from the rhyme itself. I need to concede the third point and probably will, when I'm allowed to speak again.

I hold to my position on the second, but still call the first one a draw. The reason it's a draw is because my initial insult was also in public. In reality, that "shush" thing is a recurring thing in this short relationship and it's getting bigger by the week.

She's not fat. She should know that and she should know already (based on what I tell her and how I treat her) what I feel about her body.

- T
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Can someone please enlighten me?
Posted: 1/25/2009 6:44:43 PM
Sam*, You're about the third person I'm giving this C&P profile review to. My only excuse is that I'll tell you it's a C&P and I'll still give some personalized comments after the the generic ones. Here goes. . .


There's nothing very spectacular here, and that's basically the problem. Whether you know it or not, you've adopted a model that was well overworked way before your time. The model is of the Playboy/Penthouse Centerfold Profile. Yes, decades ago, we used to get our porn in magazines, but that's another story for another time.

The basic model goes, like this. . .

Hi, I'm Amanda. My likes are rollerskating, walks on the beach neopolitan ice cream and c0cker spaniels with puppy breath.

My dislikes are pretentious people, polyester fabric and split ends.
In reality, none of us cared what she liked or disliked. Pondering whether her knockers were real was about as intellectual as we ever got. Another story : another time.

At the end of all this, we never learned anything about the person in the picture. What kind of person is she/you and what's it like to spend time with her/you. The fact is, the copy editor who wrote the profile for the centerfold, never actually met the woman. PoF profiles who employ the same model seem to look as if the writer has never met the person in the profile. The fact is, it's not very easy to reveal yourself to the world, but doing so can be what sets your profile above the rest.

When you get around to your (massive) reconstruction of this profile, try to give your reader at least a glimpse of the "Sam* Experience". Try not to describe your current life as a young unattached man, but get into what your life is like with a young woman at your side. Know your audience. Of course there are surfer/grappler/yoga/gamer/biker chicks out there, but seriously, how many are combing personal ads and how many of those ads say the exact same thing? Write your profile so that it inspires her imagination. You'll want to paint a picture that she can see herself in.
The reason I showed you this generic C&P of a review I did for someone else is because you seem to have touched on some common problems. I know that my reviews come off like a homework assignment but hey, if what you have is working, feel free to keep doing it.

Here's your review, starting from the top.

Headline You've entered a dozen periods or "fullstops" as you call them over there. I know you think it means nothing but in this case "nothing" means "not interested in putting forth an effort." This is the first message you've delivered to your female reader. Good/bad message? You decide.

Pictures You only posted three out of a possible eight (see message re: headline), all of them are fuzzy and two of them make your face difficult to read. You could help your cause with some better images.

Interests Two. Two? My review should never be longer that what you wrote in a given section. If you're not trying, why should I?

About Me Most of my comments can be summarized in my C&P above.

First Date I'm not counting the fullstops again. If you're not interested in putting forth an effort, why ask for a review?

Mail Restrictions People with six restrictions are being troubled by too much in their inbox. If yours is empty, this is the first thing you should reconsider.

Testimonial My comments were better stated by an earlier reviewer.

Let's go back to the top Sam*. Have you noticed the asterisks I keep putting after your name?

*I'll ask you to give some thought to reconsidering use of a racial epithet as your screenname. I know that epithets have different meanings and effects once one jumps the pond, however the conduct of a gentleman is rather international. You may be able to argue that the name does little to harm your cause. Would you be able to argue that it helps? I think you could come up with something better or even more clever.

- T
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please review my profile...Also, for the ladies, is my high-speed/low-drag hairstyle a turn-off?
Posted: 1/25/2009 3:38:29 PM
It's not the bald head or anything else in the picture. I've read your profile and assume that you have as well. Therefore, I assume that you know exactly what the problem is.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
New to the interwebz dating - can you review my profile please?
Posted: 1/16/2009 9:48:55 AM
You know what? In all honesty, I don't hate the way you constructed your profile. I think it's humorous and creative however. . ., As far as humor goes, I think you may have beaten it to death. May I suggest "hybridizing" what you have?

Take the entire profile, C&P it to a MSword document and save it all there. When revising your profile, use about three (four at most) of the warnings, then come out of the schtick and start writing to your reader like she's a real person. Every few weeks, go back to that MSword document and swap out or rotate in a few of those extra warnings. It can keep your profile fresh and keep your reader interested.

As stated above, the kitten pic is doing its job, so keep it. Something in the profile is failing to follow through on the pitch. I think it's good, just a little too much of your best stuff all in one place.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Pics from 3/16 Keep or Delete?
Posted: 1/5/2009 6:42:23 PM
Yesterday was rather interesting. I received two very nice unsolicited messages from people whom I have never seen on this site. One woman decided to give her assessment of me on a variety of points. I told her that if she had something to share, she should do so here. I've been dishing it out lately, but I know that I'm still fair game.

I even violated policy and started a second thread. It's still readable, but the mods have closed it. If you want to look, here it is.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts9803148.aspx

Not so fresh meat here for you!

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Need honest opinion on my profile.
Posted: 1/4/2009 10:30:59 PM
Just what I needed another New Year's suicide resolution. What is going on with 2009 anyway?

- T
 SubSonicBoom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Locating Your Own Forum History
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:46:30 AM
imalitltpot wrote;

You can also click "History" under your pic next to any of your forum posts.
True, but that doesn't solve the problem of needing to locate a forum post. Also, that page only shows what you've written and does not differentiate between threads you start and those started by others.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Need honest opinion on my profile.
Posted: 12/31/2008 10:08:07 AM
Part of the reason I'm posting here, is because I'm hoping/expecting that your second review request thread will suffer a timely demise. Let me start with your pics.

Neither one of them is doing you any good, so they could each stand to be replaced. Your current headshot should be removed not only from your profile, but from your hard drive as well. The second shot of you standing in a shirt and tie needs to be cropped. I'll spare you the fashion advice, but the bottom border of the pic should cut off the end of your tie and shirt sleeves.

About Me

Hello and welcome to my profile!
Usually I advise profilers to delete such openers, but for some reason, I think this works for you. I'll just move on.


I am the type of person who is kind, caring, and compassionate. I am also the type of person who likes to have fun and is a little competitive at times. In addition, I am pretty much a calm and relaxed individual with a sense of humor that is very varied.
What are you trying to say here? Are you certain that you are getting your message across? Really, it sounds kind of contradictory. If you want to elaborate on the multiple themes, then you need two (or more) separate paragraphs.


I consider myself a Big Teddy Bear for three reasons. First, if you are feeling sad, scared, lonely, depressed, ill, or are hurt, I will give you a hug to help you feel better and to be a shoulder to cry on.
Dangerously close to a creepout factor here. Remember, you're talking to a stranger and there are some necessary physical boundaries. What you just described is how you are with a close friend. Let's just get you a date first, ok?


Second, I have a build like a Teddy Bear. I have little extra stuffing around the middle!
Read my profile. You know what I do for a sideline, right? You need to be honest, both with yourself and your reader. First of all. your picture (and the Big/Tall descriptor) said all that was needed on the subject. If your reader has clicked onto your profile, then it's not an issue. Move on.


Third, I am great to snuggle up with and watch TV on those cold nights! Just like a teddy bear.
If you keep any of the above, keep this. It's really the only one that's worth a smile.


Some of my likes
I love to listen to all kinds of music. My favorites are classical, Jazz, Big Band, Oldies, Classic Rock, Disco, Soft Rock, and Country. I enjoy hunting whitetail deer with my dad and nephew. I like to vegetable and flower gardening, I like to play video games with my nephew, play my two Electric guitars and my electric Bass guitar; practicing the songs that I learned to play when I previously had taken lessons.
I've said this to very many reviewees, but you need to paint a picture that your reader can see herself in. So you enjoy those things as a single unattached man. What kind of things do you enjoy that would be even better with a female companion at your side? All of them, I'm sure, but how much luck have you had trying to find that woman who's already engaged in such solitary pursuits? This review is as much about changing your tactics as well as your expectations.


I enjoy making homemade Chicken noodle soup, chili with beans, Chocolate chip cookies, hamburgers and I also would enjoy cooking dinner for/with that special someone when I meet her.
You're tapdancing on a landmine and I'm sure you know it. Try to rephrase the fact that you're a great cook and would enjoy nothing more than to cook a meal for a special lady.



What type of woman am I looking for?
I am looking for a woman who is kind, caring, and compassionate. A woman who has a sense of humor, is open-minded, and is Intelligent. Also a woman who is trustworthy, honest, and loyal.
Blah, blah, blah. I said that your reader should see herself in the picture, but she should also think that she's one of a few, not standing beside every woman on the planet. You're a talented writer and you can do better than this.


My preferences for the woman I am looking for to become my special someone is: between the ages of 25-45, height between 4'10-6'6", any ethnicity, and any body type. I prefer someone who is a non-smoker or a light social smoker, someone who does not drink or is a social drinker, and does not use drugs!
Picky much? Or maybe not picky enough? This is another instance of you seeming vague, indecisive and even contradictory. Is your inbox full? Delete all this then make your choices based on what the new profile brings in.


A little more about the woman, I am looking for. When I look into her eyes, I get lost in them. I look into those beautiful eyes and see a sparkle. Her hair smells wonderful and is silky soft. Her skin is soft and smooth. Her touch when we hold hands is gentle but firm to let me know she loves me. Her smile tells me she loves me and is happy to be with me. Her contented sighs, lets me know she feels safe in my arms. I will feel so lucky to have her in my life!
See my comment above about the creepout factor. You're not writing a plot for a romantic comedy, you're meeting a woman for a cup of coffee and a bagel.


Some interests that we could share are listening to all kinds of music, Vegetable and flower gardening, playing video games, hunting, cooking, play a musical instrument, loves animals, and spending time with family and friends. Some other interests that we can share are: Going for walks on the beach, watching sunsets and sunrises, nature watching, and
Matt, just delete this. Any commentary I'd offer would come out all wrong. I'm asking you to trust me.


One of the things that I would like to do if I had the money: Is having a combination Fruit Orchard/Vegetable Farm and horse/cattle Ranch.
Talk about this at the coffee shop. As a discussion topic, it doesn't work well in an online profile.


I am looking for women for friends. I hope out of those friends something develops past a friendship and into more of a relationship. I hope that that will lead to a long-term relationship. That is what I am looking for.
Then you're looking for "dating."


Thank you for stopping by and reading my profile. I hope my profile piqued your interest and you would like to get to know more about me.
I'm going to vote that you keep this, because you are one of the few on PoF that can apply the term "piqued" properly. Right on, man!


Also, if you have any comments or advice to offer about my profile, please send me a message. Thank you.
Yeah, but delete this, ok?


PS: A note About my response to "Do you have a car"; I do not own a car, but do have access to a car,I have a valid drivers license, and do drive everyday.
This elaboration is good and necessary. I do suggest though that it be placed elsewhere in the profile, preferable toward the top. You don't want this as a closer, because it's best to wrap up on a high-note. Also, if the car thing is a problem for your reader, you might be best served to clear it up near the beginning.

First Date

For a first date?
You're restating what the website aready wrote for you. Since it looks/sounds awkward, just delete this line.

Here's what you have. . .

My ideal perfect first date would be: Meet for lunch at a nice restaurant. Have lunch,then after lunch go to a park to walk and talk and get to know each other. If things are going well and we are having a good time, Maybe go to play miniture golf or do something else interactive. Then if things are still going great maybe have dinner at a nice restaurant in the evening.
What comes next is less profile advice and more advice on social smoothness. First off, your first meet is very different from your first date. For a first meet, arrange to meet over coffee or some light fare such as soup or sandwich. Have a time constraint. You need to be somewhere in 90 minutes and the ride itself takes 20 minutes.

If things are going well, you can "cancel" the other thing. If things aren't matching up it's "adios, mamacita!" Now you don't need to tell her that in your profile, but you need to have a plan. Set the alarm on your cellphone to ring you in 60 minutes. When the "call" comes in, it's either a dire emergency, or a cancellation of the other thing.

Your actual first date is kind of a closing argument for your profile. you don't need to ever do it, but it should be within your capabilities to pull together. Remember, you're still "painting a picture."

Now, you're a talented writer and i know that you can find the words to represent yourself the way you deserve. Get to work, man! Your mate is waiting to hear all about you.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Locating Your Own Forum History
Posted: 12/31/2008 8:53:36 AM
Oh, duhh! I've been here nine months and still hadn't figured that out. . . my bad. Thing is, I doubt if I'm the only one. I've reported several members in Profile Reviews who stated they have had a problem locating their past posts. Granted, most of them never actually read the posting rules, but that's another rant for another time. My suggestion is for something to act as an aid for those who actually read them and tried to comply.

May I amend my original suggestion to ask if the link could be a little more "dummy-friendly?"

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Locating Your Own Forum History
Posted: 12/31/2008 8:27:31 AM
I guess this might get filed under "Well, write the damn code, why don't you?"

One problem I see is that forum participants have little ability to locate their own posting history. This often results in multi-posting and an inability to track responses to the things they've written. One problem that is of particular nuisance in Profile Reviews is that members can't locate their original review thread once it falls of the tail end of their profile.

I suggest that there be a visible link to the member's posted history.

If a member is just logged on via cookies then clicks the "forums" link then things should remain as they are right now. The member is directed to the forum main page. No biggie there.

If a member logs on with password and clicks the same link, they should be directed to their own post history. This is my page. . .

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/user/SubSonicBoom.aspx

Form this history page, the member can see the titles of all the threads he/she started and participated in. From here, there can be a link or button to the forum main page.

As it is right now, the member needs to log on, open their own profile (two steps just to do that), then locate one of their posts at the bottom. After clicking the link, they have to find the top of one of their posts, and click on their own name. I think if there was an easily visible path to the same page, the mods would have a bit less work posted in the violations thread.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Please review my complicated profile
Posted: 12/30/2008 2:09:13 PM
I'm going to try to channel the female psyche. After two failed marriages, I'm either really good at it or I really have no clue. Y'all can judge for yourselves.

Female "Me" reads OP's profile and thinks. . .

No picture huh? Probably married. I'm bored as hell, so let's see what he has to say. "HONESTY" All caps? I think he doth protest too much. He's hiding something. I'll just read between his lines. Yeah, some homebody but wants online pals, probably married and the internet is the only way to practice flirting. "So much to know" my ass! There's that "HONESTY" again. WTF does he claim to want honesty about and why is he so evasive? Ooh! "shared interests"? Ahh, a controlling and manipulative relationship in his past? Yeah, right!! Sounds like somebody figured his ass out and he lost the upper hand. "Ore?" "Rude?" Yeah, who has control issues here, bud? I'm taking it just the right way. Can't date and wants "penpals" ? Passive/aggressive way of surveying one's options? Please, can I be in your internet harem? Right, let me break a nail while typing a frantic message to you. What a focking durk (switch those vowels). Ooh, I ought to message him and get his name/number off Zaba then call his damn wife!
Whew! That was tough. Anyway, if you're so into "HONESTY", just indicate that you're looking for "Intimate Encounters" and quit being a jerk about it.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
DVD-RW Gone Kaput. Help?
Posted: 12/30/2008 1:13:41 PM
I agree with Hav0c and suspect the registry class errors. Let me ask you this. . ., are you running iTunes? If not, disregard everything else in this post.

Your problem sounds similar to mine. My DVD drive would just suddenly cease to exist and would only come back when I rolled back to a restore point. I was going round & round with this all of November 2008 until I finally figured out that my DVD drive only disappeared after I installed iTunes. I posted the problem on another message board and the members gave me this link.

http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2372?viewlocale=en_US

Make sure you print the directions and make sure you keep a backup so that you can rollback any changes.

Good luck!

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Please Review Me.
Posted: 12/30/2008 12:53:44 PM
WhiteWaterRogue wrote;

Smiling with bier is better than no smiling and no bier!
Well, there are a few ways that a photo can shoot the profiler in the foot even if he's smiling in the picture. Distance is one, beer is two and showing the camera a nostril shot is three. I'd almost suggest a shirtless pic over the type I've just described.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Ladies take a look
Posted: 12/30/2008 12:42:28 PM
Well Don, you never indicated anything about the results you're having with the current version of this profile. Actually, all you indicated is that you want feedback from "ladies", which is against the rules. Well, this one's waddling and quacking, so I'm willing to call it for what it is.

Attention troll.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Honest comments please
Posted: 12/29/2008 5:01:59 PM
Glad to be able to help

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11457656.aspx
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Please tell me how I can improve my profile
Posted: 12/29/2008 10:19:00 AM
Ernest, this is all you got. . .


I would describe myself as being friendly, positive, talkative, assertive and determined. I am currently in law school with the goal of practicing as a lawyer within the next 2 years.

I am looking for an attractive woman, preferably tall, with a great smile. I would also like her to be in good physical shape or is working towards it (a few extra pounds is okay). Other attributes that are pluses to me are to be talkative, be able to have an interesting conversation, share some interests with me, intelligence, a sense of humor, someone who would make a good friend if things do not work out, having a job (or seriously looking for one) or going to school, friendliness, likes to meet people, as well as being active. I am open to casual dating, friendship and hanging out. I am primarily looking for a girlfriend but I do not want to take this too seriously. I would just like to meet new people and enjoy this ride, no matter where it takes me.
Frankly, it's not very much to work with. By that I mean there's a lot of useless stuff here that's going to occupy most of my time, but I'm here to help, so whuttevah.

Headline

Laid back, determined and sociable
Possibly the most boring I've ever seen, but definitely the most overused. Quite frankly, it does nothing to set you apart from the rest of the pack. I've seen your previous profile and I know what you're capable of. Seriously dude, you should be beating them back like a B-list actor starring in a zombie movie.

InterestsThey're pretty generic, that is, all except for the ones that didn't link. I'll get to those below.

About Me

I would describe myself as being friendly, positive, talkative, assertive and determined. I am currently in law school with the goal of practicing as a lawyer within the next 2 years.
This is pretty much all you've written, before you go into writing about her. I'll elaborate on the "about her" below. I think this section could be well served by elaborating on those cool and unique things you have in the interests section. In many ways those interests are something that a young attractive couple could enjoy together. When you write "I like to travel", maybe talk about the destinations you plan to hit in 2009. There's more to you and you deserve more than three lines of text.

About Her

I am looking for an attractive woman, preferably tall, with a great smile. I would also like her to be in good physical shape or is working towards it (a few extra pounds is okay). Other attributes that are pluses to me are to be talkative, be able to have an interesting conversation, share some interests with me, intelligence, a sense of humor, someone who would make a good friend if things do not work out, having a job (or seriously looking for one) or going to school, friendliness, likes to meet people, as well as being active.
There's a bit of a debate in this forum as to whether this section is necessary or effective. I'm voting "yes" to both. . . actually, "yes, however."

Be careful what you write here, because you can inadvertently alienate your perfect match. Write it so that your reader can see herself in your words. Phrase your words so that they seem inclusive of a variety of personalities and lifestyles. You can filter undesirables after they arrive in the inbox.

First Date

What the hell happened here? I really think that you're cheating yourself out of a grand opportunity. Think of the first date as "closing arguments." You can say almost anything you want with the intent of leaving a favorable impression. You don't have to actually do the date, but it should be within the realm of possibility. With your "about me" and the "first date" section, you might be best served by painting a picture that your reader can imagine herself in.

Truth of the matter, a cat like you can probably let the pictures do the talking and I'm sure you'd do just fine. I didn't even mention them my critique because there's no improvement needed. I think an aspiring attorney can compose text that complements the visual presentation.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Marriage on my profile...is that ok?
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:47:31 PM
Troll.

Believe me, I really hate to refer to such a beautiful woman with such an ugly word, but who here thinks that any man who look at this profile is turned off by anything she's written?

What are you trying to accomplish with any advice we could give? More views? More additions to favorites? More invitations to "sexy-chat?" Seriously, what exact problem are you having on PoF?

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
I'm about to delete my profile..
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:41:16 PM
Consider the source. From me, damnings and blessings have about the same effect. On the hierarchy of spiritual invocations my words rank somewhere between a fortune cookie and the inside of the lid on a SoBe bottle.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Should i redo my about me section??
Posted: 12/25/2008 4:34:58 PM
Hey Nova, I'm a Chevy man myself. I still rue the day I parted with my Chevelle SS. You sound like a really cool dude to hang around with. I'm hoping though, that after my first three sentences, you understand the basic problem.

Now, go back to the profile editing page and write something that sounds like you're looking for a female companion. When you do, there will be plenty of the regulars (self-included) who will help you tweak what you've composed.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
AM I CRAZY?
Posted: 12/25/2008 3:50:27 PM
According what you wrote in your profile, the answer is, yes.

If your only choices are keeping what you have or restoring it to blank, go with blank. You're a good looking guy. Your writing is akin to a southpaw trying to pitch with his right hand.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
I'm about to delete my profile..
Posted: 12/25/2008 3:26:48 PM
Pumpkin 26 wrote;


. . .but I do like older men too....maybe up to 40
Older? *ouch*

It's not the male's kids that is the problem, it's yours. Putting the shoe on the other foot. In general, when a woman tells a man that she "likes kids" is she usually talking about his kids? You know, the one(s) he had with another woman? Speaking of that "other woman", where the hell is she? Do they share custody? Am I gonna have to snatch a knot in her head when we go to pick up/drop off the little one? Why the hell is he paying to get her car fixed?

What I'm saying is, the subject of children can cause a person's mind to go in a variety of tangents. Pictures of kids (1000 words) can amount to too much baggage for a profile that's suffering from a lack of traffic.

{edit} CanAm types faster but touched on a lot of the same things I was trying to say. Damn-you CanAm!!

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
profile review
Posted: 12/25/2008 2:51:34 PM
Basically, you're a firefighter, like I'm a rock star. Agree with CanAm, that it reeks of insincerity.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I'm about to delete my profile..
Posted: 12/25/2008 2:47:34 PM
Personally, I think the pic is OK, but that's because I'm not easily scared off by those adorable little poop factories. You've come to the reviews forum because you're aware that there's something about your presentation that seems quite "resistible" to many men. The fact is, the pic of the young'un could be one of the things working against you.

To ignore your profile is even easier than clicking away. You made it as easy as never clicking in. It's a choice. Which effect would you rather have out there? I know that many women on PoF have far too many knuckleheads sending messages and need to "thin the herd", so to speak. If it's your intent to slow your traffic, then by all means, leave the picture up.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Review, please
Posted: 12/25/2008 2:38:24 PM
I do a bit of fitness training (mainly for the free gym memberships) so take this for what it's worth. You don't need to look muscular to be a gifted athlete. There are are also plenty of "skinny" people who are woefully out of shape.

Anyway, the checkbox on PoF is not a chance to describe your fitness lifestyle, it's about your appearance. I for one, believe that you're a trained and active athlete. As far as looks, "average" is the most appropriate way to describe your silhouette.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Asking for any help I can get
Posted: 12/24/2008 5:31:49 PM
Lieb Ben Yitsak wrote;

I disagree that adding a paragraph about what she is looking for will help. If you look at a beer or car commercial you will see that they describe the car and the fun of having and driving it. These advertisers do not describe the person or persons who will be driving them; that is to say, the advertiser does not say that the driver will be a male between the ages of 18 and 40.
Let's discuss this, by writing to each other on PoF
I will have to disagree with your position as well. It's like this. . . Ford Motors and Miller/Coors Brewing do not care who buys their product. They have an idea who is inclined to do so, and may produce certain targeted advertising, but to them, money is money.

Personal ads are an entirely different flavor of fruit. I do acknowledge that there is a way to write preferences that may work to exclude large segments of the population, but that's what we who frequent the reviews forum are here to help with. When a profile writer expresses what he/she feels are important qualities in a mate, they are telling even more about themselves.

Granted, the tactics used by men is and should be different than that of women. Often, women have too many of the wrong people responding and become discouraged that there are so few messages in the inbox from men of special caliber. Men on the other hand, usually end up filtering responses in ways that they don't understand. When those men come here, they need help figuring what it is that makes their profiles so easily disregarded. In short, people have preferences. To state or imply otherwise is to state/imply that anyone will do.

I do enjoy reading your advice posts. Keep up the good work.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
please have a look at my profile girls
Posted: 12/24/2008 8:11:53 AM
Badboiscotte wrote;

i was looking for views from girls, not men.
Well, most of the regulars are humoring you, because the way you posted this request is against the rules. If you really want to enforce that "girls only" thing, the mods may just send the entire thread off to oblivion. You posted a request, now your profile is fair game to any registered member on PoF. Asking for reviews from a specific category is not allowed and could get the entire thread deleted. Besides, it's a rather transparent attempt to get women to read your profile. Nice try.

Put some work into your profile and you'll begin to see some results. It's the same line I give my clients at the gym. . . "Work first, results later."

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Need Feedback
Posted: 12/23/2008 9:12:14 AM
As much as I hat to do this, I need to C&P text from a review I did for another member. It's below, but let me start with the more original comments.

First, your pictures are about the best Ive seen on PoF. They're a little grainy, but IMHO, quite good for this place. Great job with the smiling headshot for the main. You also showed a variety of poses and a shot that shows off your body type. Excellent job, you should be giving the advice on that yourself.

You could list a few items in the "Interests" section, simply because it make your profile viewable by those who search for like-minded individuals. Type one/three common words followed by a comma and separated by a space (ex; distance running, tantric yoga, bellydancing,), then the topics will turn into searchable links.

Your first date is kinda lame, but that's forgivable for almost any female on the site. It is however, one last insight into your personality. Consider it a "closer". If your profile isn't produsing desired results, the interests and first date are a couple of tweaks that could kick things into gear.

Okay, here's the Boomer's generic review. Just change the age and gender stuff so that it makes sense for a female who actually survived the 70s.

There's nothing very spectacular here, and that's basically the problem. Whether you know it or not, you've adopted a model that was well overworked way before your time. The model is of the Playboy/Penthouse Centerfold Profile. Yes, decades ago, we used to get our porn in magazines, but that's another story for another time.

The basic model goes, like this. . .

Hi, I'm Amanda. My likes are rollerskating, walks on the beach neopolitan ice cream and c0cker spaniels with puppy breath.

My dislikes are pretentious people, polyester fabric and split ends.

In reality, none of us cared what she liked or disliked. Pondering whether her knockers were real was about as intellectual as we ever got. Another story : another time.

At the end of all this, we never learned anything about the person in the picture. What kind of person is she/you and what's it like to spend time with her/you. The fact is, the copy editor who wrote the profile for the centerfold, never actually met the woman. PoF profiles who employ the same model seem to look as if the writer has never met the person in the profile. The fact is, it's not very easy to reveal yourself to the world, but doing so can be what sets your profile above the rest.

When you get around to your (massive) reconstruction of this profile, try to give your reader at least a glimpse of the "Cole (Anne C) Experience". Try not to describe your current life as a young unattached man, but get into what your life is like with a young woman at your side. Know your audience. Of course there are surfer/grappler/yoga/gamer/biker chicks out there, but seriously, how many are combing personal ads and how many of those ads say the exact same thing? Write your profile so that it inspires her imagination. You'll want to paint a picture that she can see herself in.
In other words, write your profile so that your male reader can see himself in the picture. Several of your favorite activities, have a "gal-pal" vibe, but there are some that are more gender-mixable. I suggest you play up the ones that are man-cool.

I know I'm jumping around, but you mentioned something that might sound interesting if expanded.

I have to warn you, I am a bit quirky - in a good way!

So what, you snort when you laugh? You paint your face in team colors and hang out in the stadium parking lot whether you have a ticket or not? You have three lesbian friends who have pool going for when you might switch teams? Sorry, it's a dangerous thing when my mind is left to its own musings. I do think you can have some fun with that topic and only a single paragraph is really necessary.

I look forward to what you can come up with. I think you have such a good start and the next version should be an interesting read.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
need womans perspective - unusual situation
Posted: 12/23/2008 8:39:13 AM
Imagine a guy that just got his sentence for the judge and has 10 days to get his affairs in order. I recognize that your life situations are different, but in terms of your personal life, you have a great deal in common. You're asking a woman to start a friendship, then put it on hold while you take care of this "obligation". I'm not saying that it won't happen, but I'm reminding you that the likelihood is slim.

I suggest that you adjust your profile to one seeking talk/email and even open it up to males and females of all ages. Hey, we all have sisters and friends, so you never know. Really, you need to be focused on your job right now. PoF isn't even the best place to take care of the other needs. I wish the companionship forecast was better, but it's important to be realistic.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
New user, need feed back
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:53:57 AM
Jeffy45 wrote;

i'm positive the gang signs is going to have them rushing in droves , begging at your feet

On the one hand, it's not a "gang sign". Thumb/pinky extended was popular among the surfer crowd in the 60s and 70s and used to mean "hang loose". If it's now a gang sign, I suspect you want to be careful if you're ever in the territory of those dudes who flash a "V" with their first two fingers.

On the other hand, hand signs of any kind don't generally play well in photographs and this discussion in an indicator of that. It's not a bad photo, but yes, it could be better.


Alright, I'm going to keep this simple and short.
I agree that this needs to be done and not stated. Just get to the point. It make the whole theme stronger.


I am a random fun loving person, motivated, intelligent and trusting (almost to a fault). Physically active, involved with a variety of sports from weekend football games, Jiu Jitsu practitioner and competitive free-style wrestler/submission grappling. Yoga when I have time, golfing and hiking when the weather is nice.

Canucks Fan, I go to as many games as I can.
There's nothing very spectacular here, and that's basically the problem. Whether you know it or not, you've adopted a model that was well overworked way before your time. The model is of the Playboy/Penthouse Centerfold Profile. Yes, decades ago, we used to get our porn in magazines, but that's another story for another time.

The basic model goes, like this. . .

Hi, I'm Amanda. My likes are rollerskating, walks on the beach neopolitan ice cream and c0cker spaniels with puppy breath.

My dislikes are pretentious people, polyester fabric and split ends.
In reality, none of us cared what she liked or disliked. Pondering whether her knockers were real was about as intellectual as we ever got. Another story : another time.

At the end of all this, we never learned anything about the person in the picture. What kind of person is she/you and what's it like to spend time with her/you. The fact is, the copy editor who wrote the profile for the centerfold, never actually met the woman. PoF profiles who employ the same model seem to look as if the writer has never met the person in the profile. The fact is, it's not very easy to reveal yourself to the world, but doing so can be what sets your profile above the rest.

When you get around to your (massive) reconstruction of this profile, try to give your reader at least a glimpse of the "Cole Experience". Try not to describe your current life as a young unattached man, but get into what your life is like with a young woman at your side. Know your audience. Of course there are surfer/grappler/yoga/gamer/biker chicks out there, but seriously, how many are combing personal ads and how many of those ads say the exact same thing? Write your profile so that it inspires her imagination. You'll want to paint a picture that she can see herself in.


I encourage you to send me a message, I am a good person and easy to get along with, here to meet people, build friendships and perhaps learn to enjoy life more then I already do.
I agree that this should be moved toward the top, possibly the opening statement. Usually I tell reviewees that a plea for contact comes off as condescending, but I think this one can actually be saved.


Good luck with your "fishing"
While I'm on the fence as to whether this closer is effective, I'm certain that it is rendered damaging by the ironic quotes. Definitely lose those, but give some thought to ditching the entire sentence.

Some good stuff here that just needs tweaking. Wait a minute. . . you're just looking for a "Hang Out" buddy? Then you don't even need a review. Disregard everything above.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I think its good, what are your thoughts
Posted: 12/19/2008 2:03:45 PM
I really think the photo of you in turnout gear deserves an explanation. Either you're a FF and are playing the "Do Me Because I Am" card or you're perpetrating a fraud and playing the card anyway. Just be up front about it.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is there something I'm missing?
Posted: 12/16/2008 12:14:25 PM
18Bravo wrote:

. . . alright fine I'm not the uber ripped guy I once was but let's see you keep up with PT when your knee is blown into pieces into a wall in f-in Tikrit. But I'm still probably more muscular than you are so let he who is without sin my friend...
I ruptured my patella tendon in 2000, and it was a year before I could get my game back above the rim. I'm (more than) twice your age and easily outlast all the clients I train throughout the day. "Ripped?" Well, trust me on that one, K?. The thing is (and here's the "something" that you're missing), I'm not here asking for a review and neither is MrFixIt.

His advice is solid as it always is. It's not necessary for him to be "without sin" and it's not necessary for you to use it. It's here because you asked for it.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why do so many women on this site ignore me?
Posted: 12/15/2008 12:24:37 PM
Hey Stu,
It's not bad. Not great mind you, but not bad. Keep it for a few days and see what it produces. If later you're interested in some upgrades just post back here and we'll help.

- P
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why do so many women on this site ignore me?
Posted: 12/13/2008 4:33:32 PM
Stu, I will answer your question for you and give you something to think about as you're writing. Click onto your profile so that you can see what all those women will see. At the top, you'll see icons that link to several other men within 50 miles of you; consider them your competition. Of course the lineup will change through the course of the day, but there's always someone up there. Some are better looking, some aren't. I'll bet you that every one of them put more effort into their profile than you put into yours.

Do something. It doesn't have to be good, but it needs to be there. Once you put fourth the effort there are several in this forum (self-included) who would be glad to help you make it shine. Otherwise, just keep doing what you have been doing and keep expecting different results. In the meantime, I'll keep watching, k?

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I think its good but can it be better?
Posted: 12/13/2008 12:29:52 PM
blueboomer wrote:

Hey I looked at your profile and it was quite amusing. I do find it funny that you were pointing out my brief rant when your ENTIRE profile was a slam on the male species of online dating. "Hello Pot, this is the Kettle, did you know you are black?"
I'm not sure to whom you were referring here, but I can guarantee you that you are the only one who requested a profile review. The quoted comment, is not only impolite, but is also against forum rules.

Speaking of forum rules, you've made three posts in a row. There is a rule against that as well. Just so you know, you have 15-minutes to edit your post after it has been entered. Your additional posts were all within the time limit of the first one.

As long as I clicked in anyway, here's my fully annotated review. . .

About Me
First of all, it's way too long. Try to save something to talk about in emails and/or over a cup of coffee.


I am looking for someone that I can enjoy life with and hopefully grow old with. I am tired of all the online games. I am at the point in my life where I am ready and wanting a RELATIONSHIP. This really does mean just one woman. Novel concept I know for online dating, but… I want that one woman who is as into me as I am into her. That one woman that when my phone rings I want it to be her. That one woman where instead of asking you out for a Friday night I simply say, “so what are WE doing Friday night?”
There exists a string of problems here including overall length. The length can be addressed by going at these specific points.

You go right into what you're "looking" for when you reader has (hopefully) clicked in to learn what you have to offer. By offer, I mean personality. Try not to write your profile like it's a supply requisition. This particular requisition is rather heavy-handed in that is goes straight into "growing old" together, when you haven't even decided what color to paint the living room. How about a cup of coffee, followed by a night a a local comedy club? If you want to portray your feelings on monogamy, there will be plenty of time for that, later. This entire paragraph needs to be deleted from your profile.


Okay so what type of woman am I looking for? Well I dont have a type as far as blonde, brunette or red head, but I do like a woman that is in good shape and takes care of herself. I dont want you to prefer going to the gym over seeing me but having a good balance instead. Perhaps we can even go to the gym together. I would like to meet a woman that is educated and has a career as opposed to a job. I want her to have a sense of humor and to enjoy or at least tolerate sports. I would also prefer to date someone that is a mother as well. The kids can be older than mine, but just someone that understands what being a single parent is like. I also want to be with someone that is a good communicator. If you are not a fan of IM or texting than we probably wont be a good fit. And no I am not just looking for an IM buddy either. If you ahve ever read the book "Love Languages" than I can tell you that mine are physical touch and quality time are my two biggest ones. So someone that is not afraid to be shown that someone is interested in them, appropriately and someone that has time to grow something are also MUSTS for me.
Here, you are repeating some of the same issues contained in the previous paragraph. You've already stated what you're looking for and now you're really hammering at the topic. I still think that it's not necessary to do so at this early stage. Now in addition to the long-form supply requisition, you've gone into rant mode. I need to ask at this point if you think your reader can envision herself having a good time with you?


You say you want to laugh, I promise you will LOL and HAHA till the cows come home. You want to have serious discussions about the events of the world we can talk politics, war and economy until election day. You say you want to travel and have fun well let’s go. I can pack in 15 minutes and I am open to just about anything.
I like this. . . seriously, I do. Let's make this the opening paragraph of the profile. Delete/ignore all of the above and let's just start from here, okay?


I seek ONE woman in my life that will share her dreams and fears with me and will open herself up like never before, I want that same woman to allow me to laugh and cry and be myself around her 24/7. She should be smart, funny, likes or tolerate sports, has her own life and her own identity. We all have our types that we like and are attracted to and so of course I have mine.
This is solid stuff, my brother! You're on a roll, in a good way! Keep this too.


And for those of you who say you don’t want “drama” than you haven’t lived life than or you don’t have kids. I am a parent and I have two great boys. You don’t need to be a mom to them they have that, but feel free to be a good role model and to help me show them that two adults can be loving toward one another. They need to see that. But having kids and being a business owner and having outside interests leads to drama. We all have to deal with it. It’s never life threatening or involving lawyers so it’s manageable.
Ranting again. Delete this and talk about it in person if the topic even comes up.


Okay the good stuff about me. You will always know that I am thinking about you and I am very affectionate. I am very big on appropriate PDA. I am a good listener. I love sending little texts or emails telling you that I am thinking of you. I get to the gym 2-3 times a week and I enjoy playing (golf, bowling, softball, basketball, bike riding) and watching various sports, but I am willing to miss a game to do something with you. I am just as happy going to Martini Park and Sullivan’s as I am lying with you on the couch and watching the chic flic of your choice. And yes, I have seen Sex in the City.
I'm stopping you here, because if you choose to keep this paragraph, this about as far as you need to go. The rest is just stuff for someone who is interested enough to get to know you better. After all, isn't that your goal here on PoF?


I don’t go to bars to meet women and would rather go in the company of you than to go just to hang out. I dance like a white guy but will always try and am a very good slow dancer. I drink to be social and to have fun but you will rarely see me drunk. I enjoy traveling and want to do more of it but hate flying solo. Sit in the seat next to me and I will hold your hand and you can nap on my shoulder.
Kind of "ranty" but not too much. I'm suggesting a delete simply because it's not all that necessary.


I do have two great boys and I am an involved father to them. I am not just a 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend kind of dad either. I look forward to being a great stepdad as well. I am in no rush to meet yours or for you to meet mine as I am very protective of my little guys. One thing though, I am not so sure that changing diapers is really in my future. Maybe for that special one I would change my mind but I just don’t know.
no. . . No. . . NO! Do not EVER mention spending time with her children. I'm not sure I can explain all the reasons why this is wrong. Just don't do it. Similarly, keep away from the subject of her spending time with your kids. Just delete this and don't bring it up anytime before you know her views on corporal punishment.


Bottom line - I think, no I know I am a great guy, not perfect though, and just want to find someone to be happy with and to make happy. If you think you can live with any, most or all of the above than I hope that you will want to chat to see for yourself.
Not a bad closer, but that part I put in bold needs to be rewritten. My creative juices are dried up after this marathon, but I do think you have some things worthy of keeping.

First Date

We would find a restaurant where we could enjoy a nice meal and get to know one another. Than afterwards after you fall head over heals for me I would whisk us off to Vegas where we could meet Elvis and buy a nice piece of jewelry. Than (word choice) we would fly back and you would introduce me to mom and dad and we would live happily ever after. Okay how about dinner and drinks than we go from there? Do something fun afterward or just go listen to some live music. Elvis can wait.
What restaurant? Where in Vegas? This is tongue-in-cheek, so make it good. As for the part after the word "okay", demonstrate that you know a cool place with a nice atmosphere and reasonably priced menu. If you're going to mention live music, why not name a nice local venue or a really cool band with regional appeal?

Like I stated above, you really have some good stuff here, but I think you tried to write the novel in a place where liner notes are more appropriate. Best of luck to you!!

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
Posted: 12/13/2008 10:40:00 AM
Based on things I've read around here, I can tell you this. . .

The short answer is "no". There is a way to get unflagged, but it's quite top secret. Finally, it takes more than two messages to get you flagged.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Please review my profile!
Posted: 12/11/2008 1:37:08 PM
Really quick hit here. . .

This thing
@
could get your entire profile deleted. You won't get a warning or explanation. It's just part of the searches done by the censor bots.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Can i get some opinions on my profile girls
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:50:16 AM
Well, most of the regulars are humoring you, because the way you posted this request is against the rules. If you really want to enforce that "girls only" thing, the mods may just send the entire thread off to oblivion. You posted a request now your profile is fair game to any registered member on PoF.

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Occupy your time for a tad
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:44:30 AM
Capricious Jane wrote;

I remember you from your last review!
You mean this one?

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts9927489.aspx

I see that the OP likes words. I suggest that he not get too attached to the words in this thread. They're all very likely to go *poof*

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile Review - Give it to me Straight...
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:41:18 AM
I like it! I agree that there's a different way of reading/writing a profile for a male of a certain age and I think you pretty much nailed it. It's really fine just the way it is, so my comment is a soft recommendation and far from a "red flag" issue. I think the final comment hit better with a deletion of the last sentence.


At least I sound funny to me.


Other than that, excellent job!

- T
 subsonicboom
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Need help on profile
Posted: 12/7/2008 9:16:20 AM
Navie, I have something to add about your pics, but since I don't have one posted, you'll just have to trust me, K? You and I share a trait that doesn't photograph well and that is large features. Now, on this site, it's best to post a facial close-up, but there is more than one way to do that.

Method One;
Set camera zoom to "normal" or wider than normal then shoot the picture at close range. This will produce an effect known as "Forced Perspective." Items close to the camera (chin, nose, forehead) will look huge. Everything else in the shot will appear to be "normal", that's why it's called Forced Perspective. If the intent was to make a kitten look seven feet tall then, this is the desired tactic. In a facial close-up all that composes "everything else" is the remainder of (other than chin, nose, forehead) the subject's face.

Method Two;
Set camera to "normal" or tighter than normal, then shoot the picture from 8-15 feet. This is best for facial closeups because the flash can still highlight the subject and details can be brought out by adjusting the tightness of the zoom. The image can also be adjusted in post-production by cropping and zooming with photo editing software.

In other words, method one with the camera at arm's length only works for a few people. Neither you nor I are part of that few.

- T
 
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