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misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 107 (view)

E.D. Posted: 2/19/2009 6:26:43 PM
My Jokes will end in the end of Feb. I am leaving the site my friends _________________________________________________ Once upon a time at Dorval Airport... Do you speak English? - Yes! - Name? - Abdul al-Rhazib. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no...I mean male or female? - Yes, male, female, sometimes camel. - Holy cow! - Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. - But isn't that hostile? - Horse style, doggy style, any style! - Oh dear! - No, no! Deer run too fast...

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

E.D. Posted: 2/10/2009 5:07:12 PM
^^^^ Your joke was too short Rum & Coke A Priest was seated next to a Cape Bretoner on a flight to Halifax. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Cape Bretoner asked for Rum & Coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the priest if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust..... 'I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.' The Cape Bretoner then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, 'Me too, I didn't know we had a choice.'

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 98 (view)

The Animal Test Posted: 2/9/2009 8:29:44 PM
^^^^ very nice hee hee I have found one that I found very funny.. well, at least to me "Nurses aren't supposed to laugh." Fred declared. "Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor laughing. A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure . "I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady I promise it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?" "It's swollen," Fred replied. Things went downhill from there.

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 96 (view)

The Animal Test Posted: 2/8/2009 5:43:11 PM
False lol My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started ... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... ------------ --------- --------- --- A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment..' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started..... ------------ --------- --------- ------ I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And then the fight started.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- ----- My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday and then the fight started..... ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------ I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started.... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started....

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 91 (view)

E.D. Posted: 2/5/2009 5:22:35 PM
Gynecologist Visit A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed. After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While Doing so he asked her, 'Do you know what I am doing?' 'Yes,' she replied, 'You are checking for abrasions or Dermatological abnormalities.' 'That's right,' said the doctor. He then began to fondle her Breasts. 'Do you know what I am doing now?' he asked. 'Yes,' she said, 'You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.' 'Correct,' replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his Patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, 'Do you know what I am doing now?' 'Yes,' she said, 'You're getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place.'

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

E.D. Posted: 2/4/2009 4:49:34 PM
I always wonder Why Why, Why, Why! Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

E.D. Posted: 2/2/2009 7:28:45 PM
That was very good Irish Girl Skipping right along to the Rancher Joke A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, 'You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.' The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. 'Unbutton my blouse and take it off, she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. 'Now take off my boots.' He did as she asked, ever so slowly. 'Now take off my socks.' He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. 'Now take off my skirt.' He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. 'Now take off my bra.' Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired." (P.S. I didn't see it coming, either.)

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 79 (view)

E.D. Posted: 1/16/2009 8:15:03 PM
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart 50° Fahrenheit (10° C) Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians plant gardens. 35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C) Italian Cars won't start Canadians drive with the windows down 32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C) American water freezes Canadian water gets thicker. 0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C) New York City landlords finally turn on the heat. Canadians have the last cookout of the season. -60° Fahrenheit (-51° C) Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door. -100° Fahrenheit (-73° C) Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps. -173° Fahrenheit (-114° C) Ethyl alcohol Freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg -460° Fahrenheit (-273° C) Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "cold, eh?" -500° Fahrenheit (-295° C) Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

E.D. Posted: 12/12/2008 5:55:11 PM
A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; They had children; and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from Which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the Human race was created by God, And Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, And your father told you about his.'

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

E.D. Posted: 12/11/2008 8:44:31 PM
^^^^^^ very good lrfireman Who is your REAL FRIEND? This really works...! If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 66 (view)

E.D. Posted: 11/25/2008 7:04:37 PM
And one more for the road The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenlyRemembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop, goes inside and asks the sales person,“How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?”The sales person answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95,Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'. The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95and the others only $19.95?' The annoyed sales person rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: “Sir ...., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls!!!

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

E.D. Posted: 11/25/2008 7:02:17 PM
^^^^^ funny stuff Well, here is mine COP VS. LITTLE GIRL A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. 'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?' 'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!' The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket For a safety violation. The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on The back of it!' The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse You've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?' Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!' The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa; The d*ck goes underneath the horse, not on top !"

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Tattoos Posted: 11/22/2008 9:53:51 AM
I will get a tattoo that writes "Good Year" as in my Winter Tires

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Tattoos Posted: 11/22/2008 9:53:26 AM
I will get a tattoo that writes "Good Year" as in my Winter Tires

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Do Men and Women Take Dating Sites Seriously? Posted: 11/17/2008 7:21:16 PM
Don't expect much but, your money's worth... but, there are very rare exceptations Any questions

Misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Quebec Election...time to go? Posted: 11/14/2008 8:42:34 PM
I would vote for the first person who would pay my bills, clean my apt and wash my windows and walls

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Pourquoi aux annonces à la télé??? Posted: 11/13/2008 5:28:31 PM
Pourquoi pas? Moi j'ai rien compris

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 58 (view)

E.D. Posted: 11/13/2008 4:42:44 PM
Joke Number # Canadian Contrest Getting Canadianised....Priceless!! Two families moved from Pakistan to Edmonton . When they arrived the two Fathers made a bet. In a year's time, whichever family had become more Canadian would win. A year later they met again. The first man said, 'My son is playing hockey, I had Tim Hortons for Breakfast, and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Molson's. How about you? The second man replied, 'F*ck off, raghead.'

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

E.D. Posted: 11/13/2008 4:40:04 PM
Today's Joke How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..? t One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!! Dear Bo $$ In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$ tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon. $incerely Your$ , Marian $hih ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this : Dear Marian I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet . NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading eco NOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNO ther recession. After the NO vember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNO w what I mean. Yours truly, Manager

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Open Marriage Posted: 11/5/2008 5:39:32 PM
^^^^ And LQ¿QKING at you and your pictures.. I would also encourage other partners as well EXCEPT YOU I don't blame the missus ... don't blame her at all give her a BIG Hi Five from me!!!!

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Is it Legal??? Posted: 10/28/2008 5:15:17 PM
^^^^^ At least you found dark facilities to spring out your dinky doo doo not on high traffic .. where everybody can not help but, gawk at you.. there is a difference there dear sir.... I cracked up too You don't see this everyday! Next time bring a potty to go wee wee

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

E.D. Posted: 10/26/2008 11:24:02 AM
^^^^^ a good and short joke.. Here is mine A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear made of Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, 'Well...I can clearly see your nuts.'

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Why do Guys do this? Posted: 10/25/2008 4:53:44 PM
Sorry to hear that ^^^^^ My nice advice to you would be... before keeping your eyes open.... LISTEN TO YOUR GUT... IT WILL GUIDE YOU!! always listen to your gut first before anything.... Be well

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

E.D. Posted: 10/22/2008 9:20:35 PM
Very funny ^^^^^^ I think this is funny.. well, funny by my standards Li b eral or Labour , I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.' So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night,! he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see s his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies, 'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit. Any questions

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

E.D. Posted: 10/20/2008 7:00:58 PM
Joke time Old men may walk slow BUT think F A S T In Queensland l had owned a large property for several years. I had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where I had planted mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and I also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees. One evening I decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as I hadn't been there for a while. I grabbed a ten litre bucket to bring back some fruit. As I neared the dam, I heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As I came closer I saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in my dam. I made the women aware of my presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to me, 'We're not coming out until you leave!' I frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.' Holding the bucket up , 'I'm here to feed the crocodile.' Moral: Old men may walk slow, but they can still think fast.

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Open Marriage Posted: 10/18/2008 5:00:32 PM
Me thinks that someone sounds like he is in puberty Just a thought Would you like a magazine with that ^^^

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Open Marriage Posted: 10/18/2008 1:05:32 PM
All that I am saying ...If someone is open to that ..it means they are not 100% fulfilled and/or happy with their partner therefore, if the Glove don't fit you must Quit.. Out with the Old and In with the New.... Any Questions?!?!

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Open Marriage Posted: 10/18/2008 9:23:49 AM
Marriage is about love and respect - if you love, respect your body, partner and mostly yourself you would not dream of things like this ... tell me what separates from animals? If your partner does not satisfy you.. by George, let her go and give her the opportunity to fall in love and be someone who can treat her with the respect she deserves and where you failed miserably... I would walk no, not walk but, run like hell.. as we say here in Québec SUIVANTE, NEXT!!!! Dont't get me started on the Beef Business again

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Do woman find earrings on men attractive? Posted: 10/14/2008 8:28:09 PM
You are right but, the earrings must accompany the side of Prime beef otherwise, I will refuse it

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Do woman find earrings on men attractive? Posted: 10/14/2008 8:04:23 PM
I, personally find earrings very attractive and appealing on cows and or bulls together with their Grade "A" Stamp on their right side or left makes no difference to me as long the steak tastes great, preferbly on the BBQ "medium rare" cooked to perfection with the Bull's Eye BBQ sauce ...mmmmm yummy

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Tattoos Posted: 10/13/2008 7:32:40 PM
Yes, Prime Beef... isn't that the best of the best

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Why do Guys do this? Posted: 10/13/2008 9:44:49 AM
^^^^ The Story is fitting and is correct...I stamp this story with my stamp of approval.. the story can't get much better than this Joe Happy Thanksgiving Dr. Joe !!!!

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Tattoos Posted: 10/12/2008 4:49:57 PM
^^^^ How about "Graded A" for high quality like the " Angus Beef" Just a thought

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Why do Guys do this? Posted: 10/12/2008 1:34:37 PM
^^^ the only excuse that would work.. however, never personally happened to me 1- He was run over by a big truck 2- the tigers caught him and have him in their cage 3- He is in the middle of nowhere in the desert trying to find his way to meet me this one is a big iffy 4- He is at the hospital in a coma or out of it. 5- And lastly of course "Death" his of course may he rest in peace

misstique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Why do Guys do this? Posted: 10/12/2008 12:22:53 PM
^^^^^^ that would be too easy.. why make it easy when you can complicate thngs.. But, I am a true believer in what goes around comes around then, back around People are People so, don't bother trying to figuring things out... let us put it this way... you are better off without them...

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Why do Guys do this? Posted: 10/11/2008 12:22:55 PM
OP.. welcome to the circus

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Tattoos Posted: 10/4/2008 12:55:15 PM
Tattoes is not my thingie.. do not like to be graded like beef nor do I like pain ... however, it is a personal choice.. but, have you seen old tattoos?!?!... ewwwwwwwwwwwww...totally tuned my 22 and 2o daughters off from having them done.. thank God for little miracles... To each his own ... live and let live....

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Would you risk losing a friend ? Posted: 10/4/2008 12:51:14 PM
Depends if she e is a good friend.. if not a good friend.. shut your mouth and mind your own business.. if your friend is a good friend... you would be helping her out!! Wouldn't you want to know? I personally would love to know... Good luck

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

I need Help !!!!! Posted: 10/4/2008 12:38:29 PM
Get a better pic and post it... this one is too mangled There some nice advice... You can write to to Ticketoride.. he is the moderator.. he might help you Take care

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Is it Legal??? Posted: 10/1/2008 7:16:52 PM
^^^^ then I would crash on to the oncoming semi truck... what else... close my eyes while driving

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Is it Legal??? Posted: 9/30/2008 6:44:45 PM
I couldn't help it I was driving by... hello...

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

No Longer in Canada Posted: 9/30/2008 4:50:35 AM
But, he looked very hungry He has been starving himself in California

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Is it Legal??? Posted: 9/30/2008 4:06:41 AM
Then he should be not be working and be hooked up to a dialysis machine... He seemed very healthy when he was doing what, he was doing... he also looked very comfy as well... a city driver from all people... where is a camera when you need it.... you don't see this everyday... was amusing to me

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

No Longer in Canada Posted: 9/29/2008 6:45:50 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^ That something I would say and I told him before he took his sorry butt to California LOL... he misses us that is why is back... asking us to chew him up once again... for old time sake You are really on the deep end Chris ... take a cracker with your cheese and freaken whine and make like the canadian geese and fly south... oh my golly .. look at that ... he is south You all come back now... you hear for more thrashing

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

respect you enough to ask first? Posted: 9/25/2008 10:27:15 PM
What is the problem here? We have bigger fishies to fry Life is too short for petty things... how does it go... Don't sweat the petty things and, don't pet the sweaty things.. or something like that ..

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

E.D. Posted: 9/25/2008 10:23:17 PM
I am back for a bit... but, I brought a good joke with me... GOLFER'S HONEYMOON A guy out on the golf course takes a high spee ball right in the crotch Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way' The doctor told him, 'I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week.' He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; . an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, 'You're the first; no one has EVER touched these.' He immediately drops his pants and replies, .....'Look at this, .....still in the CRATE!'

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Do Men and Women Take Dating Sites Seriously? Posted: 8/14/2008 8:35:14 PM
I take my jokes very seriously...

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

E.D. Posted: 8/14/2008 8:33:09 PM
Joke Time again This is priceless - make sure you read to the end. A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up predominately on the pillow that was addresses to 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and mom. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all of her piercing's, tattoos, tight biker clothes and the fact that she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion.... Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said we will be very happy. She owns her own trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry dad, I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, Your Son P.S. none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you, Call me when it's safe to come home...

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Women in their 30s and 40s living with their parents Posted: 8/8/2008 3:40:53 AM
I Guess Saint Peter Won't Calling My Name

MissTique II

Joined: 3/4/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Is it Legal??? Posted: 8/8/2008 3:37:40 AM
Just remember he was touching and handling his dinky doo doo... I think his passengers would really appreciate that very much .. he will be giving transfers etc with that same "paw" that passenger could be "you" just glad it isn't me "me" I would be too traumatized

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