That's harsh don't you think? I have good character thank you. He told me he was leaving that's why I have stuck it out and asked advice.

And the dragon finally rears its ugly head...LOL....I guess you need to continue to find where the "true north" is buster!!!

I have posted on here to ask for help in understanding a dynamic and not to be attacked. I don't like being attacked and told I am crazy or stupid or whatever. Save that for the mirror!!!

He has lived with his ex (not married and never were) now for ten years and I knew from the start that was the deal. They have had separate love lives for that long as well. She has a boyfriend and she knows (knew) about me. They are together for their daughter.

It is not for you to judge me, I asked you for your honest opinions about the matter and I don't take kindly to the judgment. I am not you. Period. Yes, we have different ways of doing things and seeing things and living things.

I have a healthy self-esteem, that is why I left. I asked for three months of no contact because it felt right to ask for that. Don't ask me why I didn't do something differently because that is now in the past. I have blocked him and I do not intend on answering any calls to me in two months.

My question was to the gentlemen about how they perceive his wanting to reconnect with me in three months. I had never thought that perhaps he has a hard time letting go. I am having a hard time as well, obviously, but I know I did the right thing.

Has anyone had this experience before and has anyone successfully maintained a rewarding friendship with someone after three months of no contact?

I guess I am wondering if and how it is possible to remain friends with this man whom I fell for so hard.

actually...he wants to keep seeing me.
but he does love me for real and he did say that he will not stand in my way and i deserve someone who will commit to me.
so that hurts me...but he is honest. and i guess that is love....like you said

Why would you want to spend xmas day with someone ?

Leave him alone. What reason did he have to leave pof? Many reasons, I bet.

Don't send him pics since you were only talking to him. You have never met him face to face and have no idea what he is planning to do with those pics.

I'm sorry....I didn't realize your Golden All Access Pass had expired, I'll get that fixed for ya right away. (sarcasm)
Maybe, just maybe this guy didn't want your brand of potty mouth in the future and decided to be blunt about it right away?

Now, can we actually stick to the question at hand? or is that too much to ask??

will have time to date as soon as holiday season is over.

I'd like to find this blokes playbook...

is it ok 4 2 friends to meet the same bloke from pof

Why are men all over you in the first few months of a relationship and then after a while you start to see us as just "part of the furniture".

A fighter needs two things to be successful in life - restraint and violence of action.

It seems counterproductive for a child to learn what the real world is like, wherein going through channels doesn't always work which is why they now have whistle blower laws to protect people that go through channels and then find the only other means of dealing with the situation.

I don't expect any of my children if they have exhausted other solutions to stand there and get beat up without defending her or himself. You might want your child to get beat up so that he can not break the rules but still get suspended for taking a beating but I don't think my kids should ever be expected to take a beating without protecting themselves.

Does it matter? Is there something you would do differently on a date vs just hanging out?


actually yes, since I am very flirty by nature. I like to be on the same page as the person I am with at the time. And I don't want to be too flirty if he's under the assumption that it's just friends chilling, since it may make him uncomfortable, and I don't want to go in there with the idea that he's already friend zoned.

This may be beyond your comprehension but some parents stand toe to toe with the school and also teach their children to fight back.

What steps are these?

Half of this crap happens when a teacher is standing right there and they usually do nothing.

I'm not in his head so I can't say whether he had planned on me meeting the people in his life or if it was just cause it was convenient and since I was there he wasn't gonna break plans with anyone, so he decided to just go ahead with it.

It is outrageous that your wife can cheat on you, dump you, take your son and try to replace you with the man with whom she was cheating. It is so unfair.

You should take her to court and file for 100% custody.

Should I go ahead with these plans or should I stop everything right now. I don't want him to think I lied or took advantage of him in any way. How would you feel if you where the man in question. Would you rather know before or after?

so the politically correct remain in power and control. which were the only course remaining given what were their purposes and unawareness of lifes questions they chose not to regard.

as for the young man as op. i believe his concerns to be not only valid but compelling.
and most of you which would dismiss his value of child care and concern also dismiss the best interests of the child.

as for those of you which manipulate extra-marital affairs as cause to disturb infancies.

get a life. i won't let you beat up babies to keep the cost of your genders high.

op. if you need help understanding that value for social translation to make your life some easier in the light of denialists...i advise you to share it again. and i will if you don't mind....bolster it......for everybody which neglects children value in it also.

Who knows, it could be important maybe not. I met a guy from here and he called me the first night, we talked for 3 hours and he invited me to his parents lake house, I met them, it was the first time meeting him and his Mother answered the door, hugged me, kissed my cheek and introduced herself then I met him and he shook my hand, still makes me laugh.

They always say, be honest. Don't lie to your kid bc they will someday find out the truth and hate you for lying.

P.S. Your gorgeous.... how could he not like you!

...

let me know if you want me in on this one op. if you don't ...i can accept that.

conscious soul dude.

what i will do mr. is give some views to all your contributions. i have read your profile.

quite impressive. but you sure ain't ready for me. so you were well advised to back off.

but when you feel ready you just let me know mr. ...i am always looking to square off with a kiss ass politico that thinks himself or herself ready for cradle robbing.

Is there any chance he might still be interested or was he just getting my number as a friendly gesture?

very few respond to my submissions....and why...because they are not politically correct submissions.

I know what i want-which is to continue spending time with him. And if that led to something on an ongoing basis (not a FWB)/a relationship then i think i would be ok with that.

I'm pretty sure that all guys are breast men

I am not looking for just a donor, I am looking for a father and a good father not just any joe smoe.

If you find "the one" and decide to co-habitate would you consider a joint bank account?

Protecting the rights of bullies is all that is accomplished with the "no defending yourself" attitude of schools.

Schools do need to identify at risk youth and do what they can to address that issue...both bullies and the bullied are at risk youth.

Restorative Justice programs can be effective but again if the root cause of the behaviour isn't addressed, the behaviour will continue or escalate into something much worse. Unfortunately, the root behaviour usually stems from the family and it is out of the control of the school system. Perhaps they should be bringing back in the schools for "bad kids".....keep the little buggers away from everyone else.

My point is, if some can handle it, why is acceptable by you for others to act on it? You are right, I am young, which gives me a couple benefits. For one, i've actually ATTENDED schools since Columbine, and have my finger on the pulse of bullying in schools at current FAR more than some 50 year old that hasn't been in school since the 70's. You're swat team, 3 sherriffs and Chuck Norris himself wasn't there, your simplistic analyzation of Columbine shows that the comprehension of adults of the bullying across this country is limited at best.

You're assuming the school actually enforces the zero tolerance policy.

So you would punish the victim of an attack for defending themselves? It amazes me even more that you think that violence is NEVER an option. A woman can't defend herself from a rapist? I can't defend myself with violence from a man trying to rob/murder/assault me?

I'd argue the REASON they murdered 13 of their classmate, is that for their entire lives, a bunch of "experts" told them it was unacceptable to defend themselves from the attacks of the bullies that plagued them their entire lives. If they could have had the ability to punch their physical attacker in the mouth, without rebukement from the likes of you, you could have saved 13 lives. It was a LACK of an ability to fight back that led to the extreme nature of columbine. YOU and people like you left them no avenue.

You made me laugh out loud. So our kids are to "reason" with the kids beating the shit out of them?

So we are to ask the VICTIMS of the abuse to provide help to the providers of the abuse? Whats next, domestic abuse victims trying to "counsel" their abusive spouse? A rape victim "talk" with a rapist about their anger displacement? Hell i should probably reach out to the guy that stabbed me, i bet he had a ton of issues.

There are TONS of people out there with f*cked homelives that don't bully, so i'm NOT going to coddle some kid because HE decides to vent his frustrations in his life on MY child.

Im still sending my daughter and her friends to meet him tonight..the kids that are threatening him from his youth club are 15/16 years old..my son is 11, and even if he was a fighter? the age difference and size difference is a little unfair-they think T is on his own with no one to defend him and an easy target. There will be no violence as i wont allow it, but im hoping a warning from kids their own age will sink in.

Navigator, walking away is better but most bullies grow out of the physical aspect of it when they are adults although they probably get into brawls at bars, but you cannot prevent another kid from getting physical no matter how hard you try to avoid or follow appropriate channels.

Most schools have a zero tolerance policy and most don't do a great job of enforcing them. Bullies are also smart, until he hits the kid, he can torture him in hundreds of ways. The situation is escalating and the threats of cornering this kid out of sight of adults is a problem that won't go away with wishful thinking. This boy needs to be able to defend himself, particularly if he may be attacked by more than one child.

I want someone who's sees it as most imporartant above all else.

My education is Social Development and Psychology my views are based on education and life experience.

You're belief that most kids bring it on themselves is similar to suggesting a woman who is beaten by her abusive spouse was asking for it.

I do believe empowering your children by providing opportunities to increase their confidence is the key but to suggest violence is never the answer is narrow minded. A kid who punches a bully in face during physical confrontation is much better then the kid who goes home and hangs himself out of hopelessness. Bullying has changed since we were kids, go to a local high school and watch the pecking order, watch what the bullied kids have to endure.

And schools aren't equip to deal with bullies because rarely the parents of the bully see a problem or refuse to admit they have a child with problems.

My question is do these men expect what I think they are expecting, or am I just looking too much into this?

I am merely asking if these men are expecting to get laid just because they have to do a bit more travelling just to come out and see me.

Also i dont know if i believe in the fighting back or not..again you raised a valid point-that being said, there's proof that fighting back works so who knows whats right.