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bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

The Ex Posted: 11/13/2009 2:10:27 PM
You have great instincts - don't make the mistake of not listening to them. Yes, it's best to raise a child with both parents in a healthly family unit, but when one parent is doing drugs and unemployed, for starters? Better think - and think again. How long did he do drugs and how long since he "quit"? Sorry if it sounds harsh, but he's playing you for his own selfish reasons. He's telling you and showing you what he knows you want to hear and see. when he gets you back, it's only a matter of time until he's back to his ways. If he truly wants his family and to change, he'll prove it. Have you two had any counseling? As someone who's been there (an alcohoic ex who also did drugs, but did work) make hime prove himself. Better to put in time with you and your baby safely away from him, waiting to see him change on his own and then see if you both still want to get back together, than to give in and go through more heartache (perhaps over and over again). How good is it for your child to live in an environment where the father's doing drugs, perhaps listening to fighting over that and no job/money, and living within a household full of tension? If by any chance you should end up staying and staying with him without him really changing, what about the influence of his lifestyle on the child? Please, really give this decision serious thought, my dear.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 159 (view)

That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal Posted: 10/15/2009 4:26:48 PM
There's a big difference between anticipating or hoping for sexual involvement with someone you're dating and expecting it. There's also a difference between having an expectation of sexual involvement or anticipation with someone you've been dating for a couple of months compared to a couple of dates. I've even had men voice their expectation of sex on the first date for heavens sake! Any decent woman would be offended and in that particular situation I DID feel the man should just be paying for a prostitute instead of wasting my time when I'm looking for more than a one-night stand (and have previously let the guy know that before we even went out). I would not be having a man wining and dining (or spending aa lot of time/spending money on me) over a period of time (weeks/months) if I did not have an attraction to him and was anticipating some sexual activity myself at some point. That would be a user. However, a mature, experienced person ought to be able to recognize when they are being taken advantage of - when your date give not even some samll amount of physical warmth - toughing, kisses and hugs - after a reasonable amount of time, you need to re-evaluate!

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Interracial couple denied marriage license in Louisiana Posted: 10/15/2009 4:10:00 PM
He says he's not a racist, he just doesn't believe in mixing the races?! I wonder what his definition of racist IS exactly?? I would laugh, but it's not funny. He ought to step down or people ought to take action to get him to step down - petitions, letters to your congressman/senator, get media coverage.

Bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Hurt Again! Need Advice! Posted: 9/24/2009 10:46:38 AM
I sounds to me like the problem between you two is mainly communication - one of the most common problem among couples. You're both very young - probably too young for marriage and family, but that's what you now have to deal with. go to a marriage counsellor. No one hear can really give the kind of help you need. Counselling will help you both determine and hopefully help settle whatever the issues are between you. whther you get back together or not, you will always be joined because of your daughter (children - the bond that can never be broken!) If nothing else you can both learn and grown from counselling, and either have a successful relationship as a couple ooor a successful relationship with someone new in your lives.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Various peppers Posted: 8/25/2009 12:18:42 PM
Oops! Replied to Moonchild instead ofyou about sterilizing the jars. See my post on it. I liked using the oven because I could just quickly wash and rinse the jars and put them into the oven without having to use a large pot, lug it full of water to the stove, etc. The lids I coveredwith water in a small pot on the stove top and just fished them out with tongs when I had the jars filled. Just make sure you leave the jars (hot) in the oven until you are ready to fill and seal them. Thanks for some great recipes everyone, can't wait to try!

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Various peppers Posted: 8/25/2009 11:57:18 AM
Moonchild, I did a lot of canning/pickling years ago and this method for sterlizing jars: Wash and rinse your jars well, drain upside-down on a clean dish towel and then place in a preheated (300*) oven for at least 10 minutes. Meanwhile, bring water to a boil and then simmer your lids in the water for at least ten minutes (keep both parts of your lids in hot water until you close up your jars of pickles/preserves).

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Ending an affair Posted: 8/20/2009 2:03:10 PM
DALLAS DAME Where does OP state she's seeing someone else's man - where do I say that? Oh, that's right, you're the one saying that. Can you not read or do you only see what you want to see? Again you harp about "someone's mate". I missed OP saying that, too. I know I never did. Idiot! I specifically DID say I was having an "affair" WITH A SINGLE, UNATTTACHED MAN. Try reading my post again, slowly and clearly this time. "Trust me, you are the other woman as well" - How did you get to be so all-knowing. I am not the "other woman", I have never and would never become involved with someone else man, be it a wife or girlfriend. There's no reason for you to presume to say that, except that you want it to be the case even when it isn't. Where in the OP's posting did it say she's a homewrecker...again, you assume. Maybe she is, maybe not but I'd rather hear it from the OP not you. How old am I? How old are you? 12? Sounds like it. He owes her nothing? So, I'll assume this is your creedo for deadling with people in your life - and glad not to know ya. If this is your idea of morals and standards, that I do find sad. Maybe the reason there are so many users around is that this is their attitude. Can't tell you how many times I've heard " Well if she/he is stupid enought to trust me, they deserve to be treated badly." Makes it so easy to excuse your own bad behaviour. Oh, I mean "your" in the general not the specific sense, Dallas.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

Ending an affair Posted: 8/20/2009 12:46:05 PM
OP, I cannnot believe all these posters who are so eager to jump to all kinds of conclustions and judgements! Are you all trying to feel better about yourselves by trashing another person? Even after the OP clarified that neither one of them are married other posters still come back with "you are getting what you deserve". Some even assumed that the poster was STILL "stealing" someone's man. First of all, people, for your information, you can be having an "affair" as two SINGLE, UNATTACHED people. I myself am in such a situation. I will not supply any of you judgemental, bashing posters (like you are all perfect human beings !) with my reasons/circumstances as to why we are at this time having an "affair". I call it an affair because we are currently not in a "normal" dating situation where we have time to travel out to dinner, movies, events. Some of these posters seem to feel that unless you are married you are not entitled to respect, consideration or any other nice sort of treatment. Whatever happened to basic consideration and manners toward another human being, particularly one you are intimately involved with? IMO anyone who "thinks" or if it "seems" someone is not being nice to you - you're right!! I would either confront him face-to-face and call him on his bad behaviour towards you or decide (really) to cut your losses, knowing finally what kind of person he is, and not give any more of your time or emotions towards him. Other posters - until you can honestly say all your behaviour in this world is above reproach, have a little tolerance for others and their situations. At the very least, stop assuming you know exactly what their situation is and maybe ASK - before you start spouting off at the mouth.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Ending an affair Posted: 8/20/2009 12:36:15 PM
OP, I cannnot believe all these posters who are so eager to jump to all kinds of conclustions and judgements! Are you all trying to feel better about yourselves by trashing another person? Even after the OP clarified that neither one of them are married other posters still come back with "you are getting what you deserve". Some even assumed that the poster was STILL "stealing" someone's man. First of all, people, for your information, you can be having an "affair" as two SINGLE, UNATTACHED people. I myself am in such a situation. I will not supply any of you judgemental, bashing posters (like you are all perfect human beings !) with my reasons/circumstances as to why we are at this time having an "affair". I call it an affair because we are currently not in a "normal" dating situation where we have time to travel out to dinner, movies, events. Some of these posters seem to feel that unless you are married you are not entitled to respect, consideration or any other nice sort of treatment. Whatever happened to basic consideration and manners toward another human being, particularly one you are intimately involved with? IMO anyone who "thinks" or if it "seems" someone is not being nice to you - you're right!! I would either confront him face-to-face and call him on his bad behaviour towards you or decide (really) to cut your losses, knowing finally what kind of person he is, and not give any more of your time or emotions towards him. Other posters - until you can honestly say all your behaviour in this world is above reproach, have a little tolerance for others and their situations. At the very least, stop assuming you know exactly what their situation is and maybe ASK - before you start spouting off at the mouth.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Ending an affair Posted: 8/20/2009 12:33:23 PM
OP, I cannnot believe all these posters who are so eager to jump to all kinds of conclustions and judgements! Are you all trying to feel better about yourselves by trashing another person? Even after the OP clarified that neither one of them are married other posters still come back with "you are getting what you deserve". Some even assumed that the poster was STILL "stealing:" someone's man. First of all, people, for your information, you can be having an "affair" as two SINGLE, UNATTACHED people. I myself am in such a situation. I will not supply any of you jusdgemental, bashing posters (like you are all perfect human beings !) with my reasons/circumstances as to why we are at this time having an "affair". I call it an affair because we are currently not in a "normal" dating situation where we have time to travel out to dinner, movies, events. Some of these posters seem to feel that unless you are married you are not entitled to respect, consideration or any other nice sort of treatment. Whatever happened to basic consideration and manners toward another human being, particularly one you are intimately involved with? IMO anyone who "thinks" or if it "seems" someone is not being nice to you - you're right!! I would either confront him face-to-face and call him on his bad behaviour towards you or decide (really) to cut your losses, knowing finally what kind of person he is, and not give any more of your time or emotions towards him. Other posters - until you can honestly say all your behavious in this world is above reproach, have a little tolerance for others and their situations. At the very least, stop assuming you know exactly what their situation is and maybe ASK - before you start spouting off at the mouth.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

sex questions... a somewhat awkward situation... Posted: 7/7/2009 4:53:03 PM
K, so this may seem like an obvious question, but - why aren't you asking your girl what it means to her when the guy takes charge in bed? Everyone is different, communication's a tricky thing with us humans, so just ask her directly. As for delaying a woman's orgasm, the advice you get here is probably helpful. Again, everyone's different,but whenever she's close, slow the pace right down (now here's where a guy has to be in charge!). Personal question - is she not willing to have you continue on after she climaxes? I mean, what about your needs?

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 57 (view)

sex questions... a somewhat awkward situation... Posted: 7/7/2009 4:51:03 PM
K, so this may seem like an obvious question, but - why aren't you asking your girl what it means to her when the guy takes charge in bed? Everyone is different, communication's a tricky thing with us humans, so just ask her directly. As for delaying a woman's orgasm, the advice you get here is probably helpful. Again, everyone's different,but whenever she's close, slow the pace right down (now here's where a guy has to be in charge!). Personal question - is she not willing to have you continue on after she climaxes? I mean, what about your needs?

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 47 (view)

I need a killer macaroni or cold pasta salad recipe Posted: 7/2/2009 1:17:34 PM
Here's a delicious and couldn't-be-easier pasta recipe - and it doesn't need refrigertion in the heat cause there's no mayo!! Cook a package of pasta el dente (cooke for about 6-7 minutes tops) - I like the little shells or a pasta with ridges to capture the pesto. Drain the pasta and immediately add (to taste) store bought or homemade pesto to the hot pasta. That's it! If making the day (or hours) before serving, I'll add some extra pesto in right before serving as the pasta tends to soak up the sauce and become a little dry if done way far ahead of time.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Thai Fried Rice Posted: 7/2/2009 1:06:04 PM
My comments were to Wiskey Woman.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Thai Fried Rice Posted: 7/2/2009 1:04:14 PM
What's your problem? In every single post of yours that I've read you come across as a belligergent, arrogant know-it-all. Just because your had an instructor (in Canada) on thia cooking you think you know more than a thai person posting a thai recipe!! Gimme a break! Must you always have a smart aleck response for every post here? Your approach with communication is really not very attractive.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Home made ice cream without an ice cream maker.... Posted: 7/2/2009 11:15:10 AM
Believe it or not I have ever had hiomemade ice cream and the 4th seems like a gret time to try this. One question - why do you need to add salt to the ice? The salt is not added to the half/half mixutre, right??

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Singles Mixer 45+ - RENTON, WA Posted: 6/11/2009 1:07:38 PM
We are 4 women, 1 man who have all recently met. In hopes of finding more people to socialize with, I am hosting a singles mixer for 45+ men and women at my home on June 20th (140th/Petrovitsky in Renton, WA). This will be mid-afternoon, possibly into evenng. I hope to invite a total of approx 20 women and men. Light food will be provided. We would all like to meet more people for activities/companionship. All you need bring is a good attitude, lawn chair, your beverage/ice and a ense of humor. We're hoping for a good mix. Since I'm inviting you into my home, please reply back if you're interested and tell me what you would bring to a gathering, what your interests are, and what your personality is like - be honest, frank, blunt. Should be fun and interesting! Back to me if interested.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 124 (view)

Should she have paid for her share of meal ? Posted: 6/5/2009 4:57:01 PM
I've read quite a few of the responses here to this thread - here's mine. Although the social "rule" has long been that those who do the invite pay, I think that normally applies to people you know or have met and then you extend an invitation. In that case you go out, the bill arrives and the person who did the inviting would reach for the bill. Their company might or might not offer to pay their part. Good friends usually do. But, online dating dating is a different kettle of fish - yes, pun intended! This is two people choosing to meet in person from an online source and get to know each other to find out if they click (as opposed to a traditional scenario of a man asking if you would go on a date with him - you know he's already interested). I mean this is 2009 and some things are a little blurred. For me, in this instance, I always sincerely offer to pay (and make sure before I accept the date that my pocketbook can afford to pay my share). For me, I think it's only fair (until you both move into to a "couple" scenario) that financially it ought to be equal give and take somehow along the way of getting to know each other. IE: He treats you to dinner a couple of tmes , then you invite him for a home-cooked meal or you pay for dinner out. Or he invites you for dinner and you let him know you'll pay for drinks....whatever. It all comes down to the individuals, I think. If you're the decent sort (and can afford it) and you accepted rather than extended an invitation, you would probably offer to kick in some money on the bill. For me, in your instance, you started out saying you were happy to pay. She made an offer (token or otherwise she did make one) to help pay and you declined. Let it go....and my suggestion would be - in future, only extend yourself when you honestly are not looking/expecting something in return. That way you do not feel taken advantage of.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 60 (view)

OKAY GUYS... Posted: 10/24/2007 3:06:06 PM
P.S. the guy I'm seeing has a poodle - because his son has alergies and poodles don't have fur - they have hair so his son is not alergic and has the pet he wanted.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 59 (view)

OKAY GUYS... Posted: 10/24/2007 3:04:20 PM
Kidding me, right? He's tall -- so he's probably not gay?? He has a deep voice - can't be gay?? Talk about steretypes that still exist! If he's gay, why would he date a woman? (for a cover cause he's not out of the closet?). why don't you go ahead and get to know him to find out? No wonder you're single - give the guy a break, and if you depend so much on your family's opinion to ru your love life I guess that says a lot.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 133 (view)

Well I just moved in with a single mother and kinda have a few questions Posted: 10/18/2007 9:30:29 AM
First, I think it sounds like possibly you weren't true to yourself because you say you've been hesitant to move in (didn't feel 100% sure you were ready for the parental role). I can understand this as I've moved ahead (given into pressure, nice or otherwise) with things I wasn't sure I was ready for in a realtionship too. When it's a situation with kids, tho. I think it's better to wait until you're more or completely sure. There must have been time over the 2 years you've been together tho to test out the parental role before you moved in. I find it strange that she asked you to do this major thing (adoption) when you've barely moved into the household, AND before marriage. It doesn't make sense to ask you to adopt when you're not married or engaged. And the kids havea father. I would want to know why the subject was coming up in the first place (question to her). It sounds like she's been the driving force in moving this relationshp forward. Why the rush? Oh,, and Iris43, what's with the comment about the man "doing the right thing and offering (financial support)? How is this the "right thing" when they're not his children? Why should a man who lives with a woman who has children from a previous relationship be deemed to be financially responsible for them. Different if the couple gets married and split after a long term marriage where the man has provided financially for step kids perhaps.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

Love him, but he can't even call. Advice needed. Posted: 8/17/2007 10:39:58 PM
Read back what you wrote yourself - writing things doen is a good way to reflect. Notice you pointed out you wre already aware there was trouble in paradise. Look at things with clarity, try to turn down the emotion. Wanting him to respond as you would isn't reasonable because (a) he is not you and be (b) you need to acknowledge that youir feelings aren't necessarily his feelings. You want it to be, but ought it to be, really?? Recognize that your instincts are usually right on. When you really like someone, especially in the "new" stages, pressuring them is not condusive to bringing them closer. Are you sure you want to get closer?

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 242 (view)

Whats with women that invite their dogs into the bedroom to sleep? Posted: 8/17/2007 10:29:22 PM
I'm with you. Like animals but definitely don't want them in the bedroom, especially not in the bed. Anticipating climbing into a bed where the dog sleeps doesn't last - not! That's just me. There are plenty of guys the same way about their dogs, but thankfully there are plenty of all types on earth!

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Any clues? Your thoughts please Posted: 7/14/2006 10:08:04 AM
Yeeah, it is kind of out of whack that he started out all gung-ho and then just dropped out of sight (but over the years I've met more than 1 of those). It may not be, but what you wrote comes across that when you didn't hear from him after a week you sent him an email that started out asking if you had done something & went on to say "too bad it had to end so quickly, etc. etc". Maybe it did end for him or maybe other things were going on, but it sounds like you were presuming it was over and like you were the one sayin in the email it's over and good luck before hearing anything from him (it was only a week that you hadn't talked right? and you 2 have only known each other a short time). I mean did you say in the email that YOU didn't feel that way. It just sounds like the emphasis in the email was on you saying it was over Just saying if I got an email like that my reaction would have been "You don't hear from me for a week so it's "good luck, too bad it's over? fine, then". But who knows how this guy thinks except him (and I would never not respond to an email; I'm adult enough to not have a problem telling someone in a nice way that it's not working out - if that's the case - so they know where things are at. That's called common courtesy from human being to another. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who don't see it that way & do you want that kind of person?). If there's no communication it's hard to say, but having been to his place (and his couch) already,I think instad of the email I would have just gone over, gotten whatever of mine was at his place and used that face-to-face as a litmus test of what was going on. If nothing else you'd had your watch parts that you want and it might have led to a conversation. At this point I would leave it up to him to make some sort of move, but that's just me cause in in the end talk is cheap. A person can ay anything they like, but what do their actions tell you? Anyway, good luck. I know the sad & disappointing feeling you talk about but, hey, the good thing is there's always someone else coming along sooner or later.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Cold, lonely nights....and sleeping alone Posted: 1/18/2006 8:42:17 PM
It's true that everything starts in the brain. Got lemons - make lemonade. What I'm saying is find the positive. You have the bed all to yourself to stretch and move into any position (and you can hug a pillow too!), nobody hogging the bedding, no jabs during your sleep Like anything else you've gotta find the positives not focus on the negatives. Think good thoughts and think ONLY "relax, sleep" - clear the brain, and if all else fails you WILL adapt in time.

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 90 (view)

Should I trust her? Posted: 12/3/2005 7:21:30 PM
From a woman's point of view on the situation - I think the girl's being sincere. I know if I really like a guy, asked him to meet up with me and he didn't show up til close to last call, it's possible that I'd have a few too many. Bottom line is what does your gut tel you?? Oh and the trust issue? Been seeing each other for three months - you're still getting to know each other and the respect, admiration and trust build based on the strength of your feeling so only time will tell. Can she trust you? How come she extends herself more to see you than you to see her? How interested are you really?

bumponnalog

Joined: 7/14/2005

Msg: 88 (view)

Should I trust her? Posted: 12/3/2005 7:17:27 PM
From a woman's point of view on the situation - I think the girl's being sincere. I know if I really like a guy, asked him to meet up with me and he didn't show up til close to last call, it's possible that I'd have a few too many. Bottom line is what does your gut tel you??

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