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wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Where have all the nice guys gone? Posted: 9/21/2009 1:54:34 AM
They are all... gone! Or soon will be. I have a personal mandate to hunt down and destroy all "nice guys" on here. and the professed "nice guys" who come on here... Join me! Cast off that burden and just be a jackass! Yes, can you feel the hate flowing through you? Yes, I can... he's right, you are thinking... and I am! I have finally 'come out' and declared I will now follow my villainous desires! It never pays to be nice and you know it! From now on, let us be **stards of the highest order! Oh, somewhere... one... then two are now convinced... and converted! that's a couple of "nice guys" gone forever! mwahahahah! it does not pay to be playing this "nice guy" routine... You are whiners and no woman likes that! Read all the posts! They will pick the worst offenders and you know it. They will never pick you unless you become one of them! I am giving you permission to be bad boys to the core! so... let's all be who we were meant to be. go forth and spread the new gospel!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

I find this site disheartening.... Posted: 9/21/2009 1:44:43 AM
Ah yes... another nice guy that I can seduce to the dark side of the Force! Join me, my friend... being nice is no good! You know it and everyone else does! It is your destiny... don't delete your account. Well, do so, but not after going through and ranting all you want! Spread the word! No more nice guys! EVER! We don't want to hear the whining and complaining! Be a **stard of the highest order first! Nuke the site from orbit before leaving! Don't be a martyr anymore! Nuke the site before you leave! I need soldiers for my war against "good guys". Cast off that burden and follow me!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Let me give you the tour... Posted: 9/21/2009 1:37:19 AM
he's a keeper! don't listen to any of these others! What's two hairs and a request? they're just jealous...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 239 (view)

Why Women Hate Men ?????? Posted: 9/21/2009 1:31:39 AM
I do have a hard time with the ideas that men put across about themselves though: a) "we're all *holes, I know..." b) "hey, we're pigs, what you gonna do?" c) "it's not cool to share our feelings with the guys, come on!" d) "all women care about is money" Well, ya know... I don't get any dates being good or bad. So I might as well agree and be a villain! I've always wanted to be one, anyways. I have and still am going through the "nice guy" ranting phase, but it will be over soon enough. It is already turning to cynicism and bitterness and the more anger and resentment I build well, all the better. I am dateless either way... so might as well be selfish and be as much of a stard as I can on here! So what if I finish last now? I don't care and good luck finding someone else!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 416 (view)

Dating is all about income Posted: 9/21/2009 1:18:07 AM
Income does help a lot... An uglyA man in a Ferrari is the most handsome man in the world; An ugly woman in a Ferrari is just another ugly woman.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 101 (view)

How Many Seek Love Over Sex? Posted: 9/21/2009 1:02:52 AM
Feh. At this point, I'll take one or the other. Most likely the other since I am not really good at loving people. I have grown uncaring these past few months. We'll see if I can turn it around...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Impersonal feelings Posted: 9/21/2009 12:57:54 AM
It seems online has a TON of people with this particular addiction... that's why they don't need to ever meet face to face; it is forever emails, MAYBE some phone calls, but where the talk is flowering, deep, emotional and whatever, but they m ay never actually clap eyes on the person who they "feel for", or in person, they are so into the "romantic persona" that they are always looking for the "new recipient" since it is never as powerful with someone familiar; it's strongest for those who don't have inconvenient "human traits" that tar the fairytail land with reality and some plain old black and white among the lovely, yellow brick road... Hey, you just described... me! I honestly have been working on being more personable, but sometimes I wonder why bother!? I am liking this whole just e-mailing thing... keeping people at arms-length... never actually meeting... It's somewhat comforting... You get to keep your illusions. I know it may damage myself later on... but I am getting to the point where i am thinking.. so what? There's plenty of fish out there for you.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 33 (view)

Impersonal feelings Posted: 9/21/2009 12:44:45 AM
I'm like that. I am of the year of the Rat in my horoscope and one thing hold true for me: I seldom make lasting friendships. If I knew this earlier on, I really should have just thrown caution to the wind. Thankfully for the rest of you, there are fewer damaged people because I chose to be mostly a loner. It's certainly why I am here. I am bad at remembering birthdays, and not particularly a good gift-giver. I don't remember anything much beyond my own little world. I walked away from the second to my last relationship just like that; I just told her one night I felt differently and that was that. ah well... I would work on being more caring, but after what I read here... erm, never mind. Women will choose who they want regardless of who you are. "In a selfish world, the selfish succeed!"

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 85 (view)

Have relationships made you bitter? Posted: 9/20/2009 11:52:51 PM
I guess that's what makes it easy for you, gals... dang... you can just "git some" whenever. That is so lucky. But yeah, I did go through the "nice guy" phase as well. I guess it's like the stages in death, this site: you have stages of 1) bright eyed optimism, then comes 2) truth realization 3) then comes the "nice guy" syndrome. 4) afterwards, the 4th step the person goes into bitterness 5) then acceptance.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 120 (view)

Birth Control Pills...PLEASE NEED PEOPLE OPINIONS Posted: 9/19/2009 11:43:27 PM
I guess it's pretty near unanimous what the answer should be... but I am appalled that the OP still needed to ask this in the first place. Gawddaamn, dude, you're 45 years old! Don't you don't know your own heart and conscience's answer to this?

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Are other countries better at relationships than America? Posted: 9/19/2009 11:37:32 PM
It only looks like that until you realize they all have their own problems, as well.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Have relationships made you bitter? Posted: 9/19/2009 11:32:19 PM
The relationships I have had were all positive influences in my life. It's the relationships that could have been or I think I should have had are the ones that make me bitter. Oh, the road not taken...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

Younger European girl my house - attraction Posted: 9/19/2009 11:29:41 PM
Uniboy... Get off this forum right now and hang out with her! Don't waste another minute with us who are dateless, dammit! Go! Don't make the same mistakes I made when I was your age! That is exactly what I did back then... did nothing! I am your Ghost of Dating future! Get off this site and go for her already! Just walk to the shops! Forget having cars! Go to the park! Anything! Just go!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 416 (view)

Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that? Posted: 9/19/2009 11:16:20 PM
Same way YOU want to be just friends with that girl you are not really attracted to.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

curious about how men view women who use an online dating site as one way to try and a partner Posted: 9/19/2009 11:11:35 PM
I've met nothing but nice people so far. It must be who you are choosing to reply to.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 106 (view)

How would you define Posted: 9/18/2009 11:09:16 PM
Many people have different opinions. This is my list: 1) the need to call me or text me every single day or hour. 2) obsession with brand name anything 3) someone who loves to keep up with the joneses

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 61 (view)

Would you date a women bigger and more muscular then you? Posted: 9/18/2009 11:06:49 PM
If we loved each other, why not? Would I stop loving her just because she can benchpress me? That's silly. It's shallow and dishonest.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Is independence a truly desirable trait? Posted: 9/18/2009 11:03:52 PM
A lot of the independent people are generous... But many will have a limit. They are only willing to help out, of course! --as long as it remains convenient... That's another word that's popular here in the West... Convenient. Once it becomes too painful or Inconvenient, the self-proclaimed independent person will, at some point, bail. Tell me you will not? Because once the situation becomes dire and your realize your own finances are at stake, the independent person, afraid that his or her independence will be taken away, will bail. And for a lot of situations, this may be preferrable depending on how much you care for the other person. In this, you do have to choose your friends wisely. You cannot just go for broke on a total loser. I am not advocating that. That is where most people fail too-- in personal assessment of friends and who to trust. Which is why we are all here looking for new friends. But assembling a true family around you requires painful sacrifices. To those in your circle of love, you cannot hold back. This is the final test that many people fail. If you are there for them in their most pressing time of need--to the point where you put yourself in peril, that's really the time that greater bonds are forged in love. And yes, it is a risk. Love always is a risk.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Is independence a truly desirable trait? Posted: 9/18/2009 10:36:21 PM
Indeed! Indeed, well said! To me, my goal is not so much independence as interdependence. Those who will profit from you want you to get your own place as fast as possible --to be "independent". Does anyone ever wonder why newly arrived families here from Asia don't carry that much debt? That's because their kids still live with them even when they grow up. They don't have this silly hankering for "independence". A lot of the time, a young person "independently" living in his/her own place sneaks back to their parents' to eat, do laundry, etc... This is a stupid way to go about being independent. Instead of your money going into your parents' home, you are actually giving money away to your landlord. You're doing nothing but camping expensively. You will notice many college kids' cars are also paid for by Daddy. This is not independence. We here in North America... are obsessed with appearance. The illusion of independence IS not independence. This is why so many men and women fail to realize who they are living with until it is too late! they mostly go by appearances! As the recent and ongoing crisis has taught you: stocks and bonds will never, EVER give you full happiness. You only know you succeeded in investing in the right people when you get old and infirm. Will you be in an assisted living facility with your bottom being wiped by surly attendants? Or will you have invested your time, love and money on people who can love you back in your old age such as children who won't abandon you to the old folks' home? Perhaps some people make that bed and lie in it. Perhaps that is all they know, to some, "normal" is retiring to an old folks' home and we convince ourselves that's "normal". To me, that's a horrid way of life. You are served by complete strangers who would not even be there when your money stops flowing to them. Those nurses and assistants with smiling faces will vanish as soon as your money stops. You think all those people will keep serving you out of love? NO! This first one only lasts as long as your money lasts. It is completely contingent on your investments and savings. Full and complete happiness and yes... full independence can only be achieved if you are part of a strong unit--a real family. If you invest your money in loved ones and truly trust in the goodness of people you love in your life, it would not matter if your money stopped flowing. The people who love you will keep on loving you regardless of whether you have ceased to contribute to the household or not. I have seen and experiences this multi-generational household many times. It lasts well after savings accounts have dried up because you would have stored your wealth and trust in the form of love for other people... and yes... that means you did spend some money on them. More money oftentimes than you could hoard for yourself. To many of us, this is a decision to be made many times in our lives. Even fabulously wealthy people make this choice... and you might think they would share their wealth with others, but they do die miserable and alone. I for one, plan to invest in loved ones. So what if there are no monetary dividends or interest? I will take my chances spending money I have for people close to me rather than invest it in some corporation... In the end, the corporation is NOT a loved one. A bank cannot EVER love you back.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 48 (view)

what is your greatest dating fears? Posted: 9/18/2009 10:16:34 PM
Meeting her and through the course of the night, find out I am not into her at all, but she is with me. That's the hardest. You try your best not to lead them on or encourage anything else.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 54 (view)

What do you do when the step children are determined to hate you?? Posted: 9/18/2009 6:53:11 PM
Best thing I know is to kill them with kindness. Cook dinner (only if you love cooking, ok?--this should not be a chore.), give small gifts... smile a lot. This takes a LOT of Iron will and you will feel like you are caving in or are just buying affection. But so what? If after a while they don't reciprocate, that's just too bad. there's nothing to do but be a good friend and be even kinder to other people's kids. When they see you are so nice with their cousins/friends/ other relatives, maybe they will change their minds. On days you don't feel like cooking, don't. But always be positive. Watch "Mary Poppins".

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 75 (view)

A Dangerous Perspective Posted: 9/18/2009 6:44:54 PM
Well... you're married. If you only had a girlfriend... that would have at least given you wiggle room... But if your wife's not causing any pain or strife but just become "predictable", well... you made a promise... "In sickness and in health..." remember that? It's your responsibility to make your marriage exciting again.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

So Jehovah's Witnesses showed up at my door... Posted: 9/17/2009 12:12:00 AM
O they'll be back... usually bringing an 'elder' who can explain things better. Happened with me with the Mormons. They brought in a heavyweight elder but we just ended up discussing the history of the bible... I must admit that having these discussions and interactions sharpens your own belief system...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Do Animals Have Rights? Posted: 9/16/2009 11:54:47 PM
I don't know about rights, but I do know and recognize animals were created to have as normal life as possible. cows were meant to be eaten, but they were not meant to live in pens shoulder to shoulder and lie in their own filth all their lives until they miserably die. (this is the source of e-coli, by the way which is totally avoidable if we just take better care about butchering animals) I grew up buying dead chickens in an actual meat market. Today, nobody seems to notice that the chicken skin on the grocery store is sometimes riddled with yellowish unhealthy looking scabs that are a sign of overcrowding and lying in their own feces. yeck. maybe this generation thinks it's normal looking skin and it does vanish when you roast it of course, but yuck... not for me. So I don't even want to buy beef I don't know where it comes from. I always check the source as much as humanly possible. I do agree that animals have a nervous system so they can avoid pain. but being subject to pain without having a choice to escape the source (like in a lab) seems to be a bit cruel. There is no quality of life there. It is as if an even higher race of beings would kidnap us and subject us to pain but we don't know why or for what. maybe for the aliens they have a justified purpose in doing it to us, but we only know we are in cages and we are in misery. We would likely think we are being tortured unnecessarily. And it has been proven that animals do mourn and do cry and feel grief in their own way. some mated pairs when the other dies, the mate also perishes out of loneliness. We had a rare bird brought back to us for a pet but it refused to eat until it died. There are cases of this where the animal is just so miserable it refuses to eat. Some rationalize that into many excuses, but to the animal, it's natural cycle has been interrupted and what it had known all its life is now gone. It does not know how to adjust to a new reality so it just perishes. but it all boils down to groups of people who can empathize, and those who can't empathize. Some "get it" and others do not. And you will notice that those who can't empathize are usually more aggressive, violent and intolerant not just of animal welfare but the welfare of their fellow human beings. thus, They also fare poorly in relationships with their spouses and with humanity in general. You will notice on these posts if you read them all that those who can't empathize usually talk about animals and people from the perspective of "how I can use them for my own benefit". It's never about the other person or being... it's all about me, me, me... Read the posts again and you will see this pattern. It's the same on all the forums. the collective mantra of those who can't empathize is: "animals are here for me to use however I want, when I want" "it's the other person's fault, not mine." "They should get rid of their pet for me." "she/he should adjust to my standards." "What I believe is always right and 'they' are wrong."

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

Thoughts on truth Posted: 9/16/2009 11:33:22 PM
Generally, there are accepted truths and there are the absolute truths. People who rate low on their spiritual mastery are prone to accepting truths as told to them by anyone whom they percieve as sources of absolute truths (leaders they idolize, high priests who are so-called mouths of god, etc..) without investigating for themselves if it is actually true. People who rate high on their spiritual and no limit thinking can spot truths and falsehoods easily whether a child, guru or a political leader says it. They are able to parse properly all the hidden signals and define what it is that is true.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 347 (view)

Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that? Posted: 9/16/2009 11:27:42 PM
Because they can and women allow them. Add lots of money to "old" and "fit" and you got Hugh Hefner. Don't we all wish we could be Hugh...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Exploring relationship, okay to mesage others? Posted: 9/16/2009 11:20:06 PM
Weeelll.... my boundary is that once I go exclusive, that's the time when I stop actively socializing. It's different for everyone and unless both parties understand each other's line in the sand, you will get this kind of conflict and misunderstanding.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Why Do Disgraced Politicians' Wives Stand by their Side? Posted: 9/16/2009 11:12:17 PM
To keep the job and... for the kids, I guess. It happens even with regular couples. The wife stays for various reasons and stands by her man.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

How important .... Posted: 9/16/2009 11:09:40 PM
Somehow, the more we said it in the last relationship, the less I meant it each time until it just rang hollow. And then came the point you are just saying it just to end a phone call. I want to go back to my old style which is just doing and not saying.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 202 (view)

Men living with their parents: A social taboo? Posted: 9/16/2009 11:01:48 PM
Women will assume what they will assume. Some make the right call and avoid a loser and others judge too prematurely and lose out on a winner. Ain't life grand?

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 184 (view)

Do you believe a man of today, still understands the true meaning of romance? Posted: 8/16/2009 10:36:22 PM
why not? It can still happen...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 254 (view)

Do Men Really Want Honesty? Posted: 8/16/2009 10:28:25 PM
Virtues like honesty, kindness and generosity cannot be bragged about. I don't make any claims like that on my profile. You will find out, if you even get to find out.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 509 (view)

For the Men Over 30 Posted: 8/16/2009 10:23:15 PM
I was thinking of replying, but... why bother? YOu will assume and think whatever you will. Nothing anyone can say will move you so... Yes, you are right. We over 35 guys are all losers! You and all women our age, are doomed! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha! BEWARE!!! BEWARE!!! BEWARE the 35 year old unattached, never married male!!!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

Did you expect to be single this late in life? Posted: 8/16/2009 10:08:58 PM
Not really. I had no visions of anything. I'm rather surprised I actually lived this long.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 181 (view)

What are we doing? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:56:55 PM
I wasted my 20's so now as I near 40, I am more cautious about wasting time and effort. You can't just swing away. As a more mature person, you can now assess and make better choices.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 51 (view)

30 Something Woman Being Chased By 19 yr old Male Posted: 8/16/2009 9:46:13 PM
You women are sooo lucky in this regard! Ask any man if the roles were reversed if they would refuse! Some people just have all the luck and they don't know it!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

Do older men fear dating a woman with chilren? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:43:23 PM
I haven't been good with children in the past so I just tend to avoid it altogether. I like having fun with other people's kids, but at the end of the day, I get bored and am thankful they are not mine. But who knows? Maybe the right one will come along and even if she has kids, I may not mind at all.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 290 (view)

How should a very fit 40 year old dress? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:27:58 PM
Exactly the way she wants to.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

Getting a girl with no relationship experience to open up. Posted: 8/16/2009 9:16:04 PM
It's NOT a rule of thumb to at least talk once a day. A lot of other posters just allowed you that assumption and never even challenged it. This is exactly what makes people miserable is the blind expectation of one partner of another without telling them or just having a good discussion. Frankly, if that's all that's hanging you up--this whole thing about her inexperience and not calling you, that's nothing. Still, your impatience will probably cost you this relationship if you aren't careful. Or it would force her to be at your speed sooner than she is ready. either way, unless you slow down and just be patient, you both will lose out. All these silly rules of " at 3 weeks we should be at this stage", "after 3 phone calls you will know"... all that is bullcrap. This is what ruins a LOT of relationships.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 814 (view)

would you marry for money? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:08:46 PM
My last relationship was sort of like that--minus the contracts. She probably would have shared with me, she's a nice person. But no, I did not see myself doing that. Things like that do require me to change some fundamental beliefs and I am not that type of person. Plus, I would feel like I didn't earn the wealth. It would always feel like that. I could take care of myself and make money so we parted ways...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 193 (view)

What motivates you to look for a relationship? Posted: 8/16/2009 9:03:53 PM
Companionship, most likely... And I am getting tired of taking care of my roommate... I want to cook meals for a girl.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 200 (view)

...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments... Posted: 8/16/2009 9:02:16 PM
Sounds like having a prostitute but for free... a good deal if you can manage it.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 157 (view)

How has your experience been with POF? Thumbs Up or Down? Posted: 8/16/2009 8:59:46 PM
Indeed... It helped me find out I really have to move to where the awesome girls are... and i will be... lease ends in September! Happy days are coming!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 499 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 8/16/2009 8:57:16 PM
Cook? Cook?!!! How about just getting a date for a start? Who cares if she knows how to cook? I can cook. At this point, I'll just be happy having good times again. My skills are wasted on a roommate. I want to cook for a girl, dammit!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 239 (view)

Is it prostitution when... Posted: 8/16/2009 8:25:53 PM
Some women put out for way, way less... sometimes for the cost of a margarita or a few drinks. At least you have $100. Ah, what money I would make if I was only a girl in this day and age! It does not even have to involve any sex. Plenty of girls make tons of money just laying in bed and being naked in front of a webcam. The only thing I would have done different (as a girl) was I would not have him come over my house. But... Too bad it doesn't work out like that for guys... I have to --horrors-- work for real for much less. I know... it sounds rather callous and insensitive... but as a newbie greenhorn on this site 2 years ago, I was all nice and kindly... Now I just offer my honest opinion...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 100 (view)

The fine line between friendly and too friendly - where does the favour end? Posted: 8/16/2009 7:57:46 PM
Any lady knows you're supposed to suck him off. and that's just for foreplay. Afterwards, you should just...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Where are the love-help articles for men?! Posted: 8/16/2009 7:24:11 PM
I think those articles you are speaking of are written by the douchebags that tell men to treat women like crap because they will respond. Indeed... but why do they work, though? I know a guy who acts just like that and it does work...

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 89 (view)

I think Girls have it a lot easier than Guys when it comes to Love, Dating, Relationships, etc. Posted: 8/16/2009 7:18:53 PM
Indeed, indeed!

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

How do we Unlearn behavior? Posted: 8/16/2009 7:17:56 PM
You can unlearn it once you know the source and the cause. But the process is slow. I am going through a similar phase where I am slowly deconstructing the lies I was taught as a child. It's hard and yeah, you have to be your own teacher and read lots of books and articles. Just keep a positive attitude that you are rebuilding yourself and I think you will eventually succeed.

wanderingronin

Joined: 3/9/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Should I stay with him? Posted: 8/16/2009 7:10:46 PM
Don't listen to all these other people!!! You are totally making a huge mistake! You would totally make his day if you ask to be in a threesome with the other girl. Go do it!

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