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 Author Thread: LOST IN HOME DEPOT
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
LOST IN HOME DEPOT
Posted: 8/6/2008 10:03:08 PM
lol that was good
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Things not to say on a first date.. .
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:57:18 PM
Well I had a girl tell me that she didn't get enough hugs from her mom as a child. Let's just say after two more dates I found out why. Its was 95degrees out and I got frostbite. She was cold as ice.
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:47:38 PM
Are those astronaut pants that you are wearing? Because your ass is out of this world. hahahahaha
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 350 (view)
 
Just eat me already!
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:25:38 PM
I'd dump him in a hurry. He's sounds like he's selfish.

I have never had a problem going down on a woman. I try and make it fun for her. I took some advise when I was growing up from Sam Kinnison.

When you are going down on her, don't do it like you are whitewashing a fence. She's gonna get pretty bored of up, down, up down, etc. Drive her nuts....lick out her name. If she still hasn't popped, do the alphabet. You'll never think of the ABC song the same way again.

In closing, if I had a good woman who wanted to go down on me constantly, she'd never feel neglected.
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 519 (view)
 
boobs
Posted: 8/3/2008 10:41:14 PM
I'll give you my honest opinion. It doesn't matter to me the size of a woman's breasts. I love them in all shapes and sizes. I had an ex who complained that hers were too small. I told her constantly that it didn't matter and I still got excited everytime her shirt came off.

Bottom line, if you date a guy that complains about them...lose him.
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 129 (view)
 
Nipple colour
Posted: 8/2/2008 1:28:54 AM
I'm with both you ladies. I give two thumbs up!

As Dave Chapelle said "Im just a man who loves titties!"
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Nipple colour
Posted: 8/2/2008 12:42:06 AM
Ok, here's my two cents. Nippes are like neopolitan ice cream. I love all the colors and flavors. Whatever shade and hue, I'm just happy to have some nipples to play with. Throw the man a bone!!!! geez.

Now there's a first date question? So where were you born? Where did you go to college? What color are your nipples?

I like to think of nipples like the little suprise you find in a crackerjack box. You never know what you're gonna get.

P.S. Be colorblind when it comes to nipples. Stop the oppression!!!!
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Oral sex and the taste of ejaculate
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:53:01 PM
I wonder if this pill "comes" in different flavors. Can you call me Baskin Robbins!!!

I have no problem tasting a woman, but there is NO way in hell I wanna know what flavor I am. Sorry, guess I'll have to go to the grave not knowing whether I taste like cotton candy or not.
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 392 (view)
 
!!
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:24:38 PM
The last three girls I dated smoked. While I'm not a big fan of it, I will not limit myself.

So are you trying to tell me you wouldn't date the poster abouve me because she smokes? Anastasia is beautiful and has an awesome personality. I'll tell you this..its your loss.

Think twice or the only thing that will be smoking is your hand.

Good luck!
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Waterbeds
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:38:43 PM
I never had sex on a waterbed. I would think it would either be fun or a shipwreck. The funny thing is....afterwards are you sleeping on the wet spot or did it spring a leak? LOL

As for them being made....I dunno.
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 128 (view)
 
can a guy like a bj better than sex?
Posted: 8/1/2008 9:44:35 PM
Saying you like oral sex better than sex is like saying you like peanut butter better than jelly. THEY GO TOGETHER.

I like to think oral is like the third inning in baseball.

1st is kissing
2nd is foreplay and heavy petting
3rd is oral

4th is "fasten your seatbelts....its gonna be a bumpy ride!"

If your guy is a one hit wonder or a two punp chuck....LOSE HIM.

 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 127 (view)
 
can a guy like a bj better than sex?
Posted: 8/1/2008 9:36:38 PM
Hahahahahaha

See the dancing banana just got a hummer.....lol

So tell me you wouldnt love to start your day this way. I'm usually the horniest in the morning.
 spenn
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 126 (view)
 
can a guy like a bj better than sex?
Posted: 8/1/2008 9:32:48 PM
I'm a normal healthy guy. Of course I like a a good BJ. Who wouldn't. Hell at this point in my life a bad BJ would be a good one...well except if she has a bad overbite or has had alot of periodontal work. LOL.

It's just one normal aspect of a good healthy sex life between partners.

I am not selfish when it comes to this. I have to probelm going to "Taco Bell". I want her to scream out my name and praise the lord like she was at church on Sunday. I want to treat her like a Timex watch "takes a licking and keeps on ticking". I want to wear her like a hat. I want her to cum so hard she'll be in traction for a week.

So...any questions?
 
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