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arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Walmart sets its sights on ruling the retail world. Posted: 11/17/2009 6:41:59 PM
Friends don't let friends shop at Wal-Mart. Read The WalMart effect. If you knew that the jeans you are wearing were used to beat the person sewing them, would you still buy them? This is not made up, this is part of a class-action suit against WalMart. WalMart is leading the race to the bottom. Our huge imbalance of trade with China? WalMart led the charge to send our jobs to China. Don't buy from WalMart.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Should I Report This Guy? Posted: 11/17/2009 2:19:40 PM
Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a drama queen. My debating about reporting him is because his behavior is only borderline. However, he is manipulative, has obvious anger management problems, and there are hints of abuse. I've disengaged & he's off my radar screen. However, I was concerned the guy could be a potential threat to some women. If he keeps doing this to other women, POF will probably hear about it.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Caution to the ladies in St.L. Posted: 11/17/2009 2:12:19 PM
I read your other post. There is nothing to report him for. The teacher isn't here to monitor the playground; you are an adult and responsible for your own actions. You invited him to debate you. Now you want the teacher to ground him? Not for debating, but I have serious concerns about this guy. He has obvious anger management problems and I think there are hints of abuse. He's definitely manipulative. Anyway, you are forewarned.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Caution to the ladies in St.L. Posted: 11/14/2009 12:11:11 PM
Initial responses from the Dating Experiences forum: Don't engage with argumentative guys, not worth reporting. I'll take this advice. Note to self: always trust your instincts.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Should I Report This Guy? Posted: 11/14/2009 12:08:55 PM
Thanks, you guys. I am completely taking heed of your insightful comments. Will proceed more wisely in the future. Reminder to self: trust your instincts.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Should I Report This Guy? Posted: 11/14/2009 12:00:30 PM
It's not about him not meeting my expectations, it's about him getting insulting when I've been extremely polite and he has a history of very angry behavior. Frankly, I think he's potentially dangerous. He doesn't take "no" for an answer.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Caution to the ladies in St.L. Posted: 11/14/2009 11:54:33 AM
Ladies, once before I had an experience with a guy on POF who sent me a clearly abusive email. I reported him to POF, blocked him, and also posted a warning here to other women. Unfortunately, I was less experienced and realized that, against POF rules, I made a statement about his user name that, while it didn't say exactly who he was, gave enough information that one could easily identify him. I apologized and petitioned the moderator to remove the post. I have just had another experience with a man who, while not outright abusive, is confrontational, insulting, manipulative, and definitely significant problems with anger. I'm not certain if I should report him or not but I do know he's been banned from POF once before. I've posted some details in the "Dating Experiences" forum under the subject title "Should I Report This Guy?" You can read some details there. If any of you women run across a guy like this, be forewarned. And remember, gals, always trust your gut.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Should I Report This Guy? Posted: 11/14/2009 11:46:20 AM
Fishies, I'm debating whether to report this guy or not. The short story: I was contacted by a guy who, from the beginning, was on the confrontational side and, after a few emails and two phone conversations, I said thanks but I'm not interested in continuing the conversation. I got a brief but insulting response calling me names and accusing me of being intolerant and close minded and thanking me for participating in his "social experiment" to prove how intolerant and close minded "Libtards" are. He has been banned once before after going off on another woman and there were numerous hints of anger problems in his conversations. The details: my profile states, among other things, that I am politically liberal and I seek a partner with similar values. I got an email that said he read my profile & thought it was contradictory that I stated I was liberal yet was "close minded" about dating someone of a different political bent. He said he liked talking politics and found "preaching to the choir" boring. We exchanged a few emails. I stated, politely, my position. He seemed to jump to a lot of conclusions about me very quickly. Although he clearly wasn't my kind of guy no matter what his political stripe, the conversation was a little interesting and I didn't mind engaging in it. He asked to call and I gave him my number. We had a lengthy conversation. He kept making "jokes" that I found insulting, like calling me a "Communist." When I politely told him I found it offensive, he accused me of not having a sense of humor. He told me about some highly confrontational experience he'd had at work. He admitted he's had a profile on POF before but had been banned from because he'd gone off on some woman, wrote her a lengthy diatribe, after she backed out of a first meeting for the third time. I asked if he'd ever been married and he said, "That's a sore point." He didn't elaborate. Considering the things he'd told me, I couldn't help but wonder if he'd been accused of some sort of abuse but I don't know that. He called me a second time and I told him look, we're not a good match. He argued with me, said I wasn't giving him a chance. After thinking about it over night, I decided I did not want to continue having interaction and sent him an email that said simply that I did not want to continue the conversation. I got a brief but rude response stating that I proved his point, that "Libtards" preach tolerance and open mindedness but are intolerant and narrow minded. He was just amusing himself, wondering how long I would go before I cried uncle, and thank you for participating in his social experiment. I'm not going to respond to him but I really think I should report him. His behavior towards me isn't threatening but it's rude and insulting, unnecessarily so, and apparently the guy has gotten rude enough before to have gotten himself banned. If nothing else, I think POF needs to be warned so that they know if this guy bothers any other women, he's bad news. At least he doesn't have my last name or know my address but he's got enough information about me that if wanted to find out who I was, he could do it. He's the kind of guy that starts to make you worry if he wouldn't be a stalker. Should I report him? I'm leaving this afternoon for the weekend, may not be able to reply to any responses for a day or two, but I'm really interested in what you all have to say. This man is not a gentleman. Thanks.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 180 (view)

I don't think anyone has enjoyed the 69 position since 1969. Posted: 11/13/2009 10:19:41 PM
I will do it to please my partner, but I don't get much out of it personally. I can't relax & receive when I'm concentrating on giving and the body mechanics can be awkward.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 99 (view)

from one dater to another: 'show me your drivers license, please' Posted: 11/13/2009 1:50:02 PM
I've considered asking to see a driver's license. So many guys lie about their age. And, on occasion, I've gone off with someone I don't know all that well and have considered calling a friend and giving them the name & license number with the instructions, "If you haven't heard from me by midnight, call the cops." But none of those things have happened. They're just thoughts. I don't know what anyone has done to check me out. I went out twice with a guy who kept hiring private detectives to check out his son's online "girlfriends."

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Do Men Like Hearing There Name Said In Bed Posted: 11/13/2009 1:38:03 PM
I know guys who refuse to call you by name in bed unless they're married to you. They're afraid they might use the wrong name. It annoys me a little because I know exactly what's going on but I also understand. I once accidentally called my boyfriend by the name of my former girlfriend. Fortunately, he was very secure, very understanding, and thought it was funny.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Sexually Inadequate??? Posted: 11/13/2009 1:30:54 PM
My ex had had some issues with my inabilities to orgasm just from sex. Your ex was an idiot. You said you had orgasms from oral sex. Oral sex is sex. Most women do not have orgasms from intercourse alone. A good lover doesn't care how his woman gets off, only that she does. There's all sorts of things you can do and, over time, you'll figure out what works best for you. However, don't let any man make you feel less than adequate because some things work for you better than others.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 270 (view)

The Game and its effectiveness Posted: 11/12/2009 7:51:07 PM
If you're young and/or dumb, you can be easily manipulated. If you're older & experienced, you notice these things and don't fall so easily. I allowed myself to be seduced by a young seduction artist a few years ago. I walked into the situation completely naive and it took awhile to figure out what was going on. I was pretty slow on the uptake. However, once I figured it out, I had a choice, and I was enjoying the interaction so much that I decided to proceed. I wish more men would learn the art of seduction. I've never read Neil Strauss's book but became aware of the online PUA community a few years ago when a young friend of mine, who was a devotee of David D'Angelo, allowed me to read Double Your Dating. At first I was offended by what I felt was a predatory attitude but I also had to admit that I thought a lot of what he had to say was right on. I think learning how to create attraction is not a bad idea. For instance, a lot of guys come on too strong and you want to push them away. DDA suggests being playful & confident, which is very attractive, and holding back a bit, allowing the woman to come to the man. This is really smart. If more men understood this, they'd be more successful with women. I know people like to trash this stuff and believe it's manipulative. However, I ask the question: is it manipulative to smile at someone? If I make it a point to ask you questions about yourself, giving you a chance to talk about yourself, and listening intently, and that makes you feel more at ease with me, am I being manipulative? If I tease you a little, flirt with you, is that a bad thing? I think not. I do think there are, and have always been, people who are predatory, people who lie and manipulate and use people. This is never okay and you should never take advantage of someone who is young and/or vulnerable. This is really bad. But learning what helps to create attraction - that can be a good thing. My young friend who introduced me to this helped change my attitude and I'm more outgoing with people, will compliment them. Old ladies, the barrista at the coffeehouse, anyone, not just some guy I'd like to pick up. As my friend said: Be bold. Be confident. Don't be creepy and needy. And flirt with everyone! Life is a lot more fun and I make more people smile. Take responsibility for your own actions, whether you are the one picking up or being picked up. Do no harm. Women get angry with men because they give in to them quickly and then are surprised when the guy disappears. A roll in the hay is not a relationship! Don't get them confused! There's nothing wrong with wanting a roll in the hay. And there's nothing wrong with not wanting it, either. If you're clear about what you want, with yourself and others, and don't get them mixed up, life is a lot easier. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think women should read these things so they know what's going on out there and don't get fooled. But shoot, I'd love it if guys learned to be more attractive and interesting and were better at seduction. And yes, some of it does work on men. However, it depends on what you want. Read Christian Carter's material for that - Catch Him and Keep Him. (And no, I don't work for either one of them and yes, the two of them actually work in tandem.)

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 117 (view)

Astounded by the amt of perverts on here... Posted: 11/12/2009 7:31:21 PM
Face it, men are dogs. Lenny Bruce said so, it must be true. You're better off with women. I was on a paid site for a year and a half. Not only was it not better, it was worse. It might have been because I had less experience. I've gotten better at this game.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Disclosing certain information Posted: 11/12/2009 7:27:54 PM
So my question is this, perhaps mainly for the men: what would be the best way to explain the reason for my marriage breakup, when asked, so men don't think of me a somebody with just too much baggage to be relationship material? When I first meet someone, I refuse to talk about past relationships. I will divulge that I have been married and that's it. I want to get to know the person a little in the here and now, see what they are like, and not discuss past relationships. If we decide to continue to get to know each other, I will tell them whatever they want within certain reasonable boundaries. There are a number of things I prefer not to talk about in the beginning. People focus on such things and jump to conclusions about who you are as a person. I'd rather experience for myself who they are as a person and vice versa before getting into information that might prejudice the experience.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

help : leeks Posted: 11/12/2009 7:18:48 PM
Cock-a-leekie soup. Take a big pot. And a whole chicken (you can cut it up). Cover it with water. Add a few whole peppercorns, some salt. Bring to a boil, simmer 2 hrs. Take maybe six good sized leeks and cut the white parts into quarters lengthwise, clean 'em good under running water. Cut into 1" pieces and add to the pot. Also add 1/4 to 1/2 cup barley. Cook another 40 minutes. Turn it off. Pull out the chicken and remove the bones, skin. SHRED the chicken meat - i.e. pull it apart so it's kind of stringy, and return the chicken meat to the pot. Taste for salt. This soup is easy and delicious. It also has a nice feel in your mouth. BTW - potato/leek soup is very good, too, and is spell vichyssoise. (Pronounced vee-she-swah)

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Cooking Myths Posted: 11/12/2009 7:05:27 PM
The bit about not cutting into a piece of meat right away isn't about losing juice, it's about the juices redistributing themselves. Things change internally when it's taken out of the heat and letting it sit for a period of time affects the texture. Magee's On Food And Cooking is an excellent resource about kitchen chemistry. Check it out of the library some time. Joy Of Cooking has some pretty good information, too.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

do ladies get turned on by strong hands and fingers.. Posted: 11/12/2009 6:59:44 PM
I was a union construction electrician for 13 years and my fingers were not thick. I still work with my hands and my fingers are not thick. It's your build. I've always had slender fingers and no amount of manual labor is going to change that. You do not have muscles in your fingers. Your fingers probably would have been thick even if you were a computer programmer. Personally, I like a very sensitive lover. They are hard to find. But women have their preferences and I'm sure there are some women who like strong hands as opposed to sensitive hands.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 70 (view)

How do you deal with someone when the sex isn`t satisfying? Posted: 11/12/2009 6:52:26 PM
Sexual compatibility is more important to some, less important to others. It's very important to me and obviously is to you, too. If it was this bad now, I doubt it would get any better. Lots of people say, "Friends first," implying they want to get to know you before having sex. While I've always thought that was a good idea, I'm starting to think it's backwards. Maybe it should be "Sex first" so I don't waste time with a bad lover. Wasabigal - there are some bad lovers out there, trust me.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Chain emails - Do you pass them on? Check the facts? Posted: 11/12/2009 5:31:54 PM
incidental gripe: i hate that many of my family/friends send mails to a long list of folk, where all can see each person's email address. i adhere to a strict policy of bcc, so addresses are not disseminated, and wish others would show the same consideration. I'm with you on that one. I've never had anyone acknowledge that they passed on bogus information. Once, a former client passed on a chain email claiming that Hillary Clinton had snubbed the Gold Star Mothers, mothers of fallen soldiers. I checked with snope and it was false. The Gold Star Mothers website had prominently displayed on their home page that this was untrue and posted the true story: that a group of them had shown up at Clinton's office, unannounced, while they were making the rounds. Clinton was not in the office at the time. They were invited to come back and meet with her but they would be leaving so no meeting ever took place. No one was snubbed, she just wasn't there. It would be like showing up at someone's home unannounced and they weren't home. I emailed this information to my former client and instead of acknowledging that she'd passed on a hurtful lie, her response was, "Well, I don't think that Hillary is good for the state of New York." (The client did not live in NY.) My polite response was that may be so, but it was up to the voters of NY to decided. However, I think it's always important to tell the truth and, while I may make mistakes, once I find I'm mistaken I'm not going to pass on misinformation and, in fact, will do what I can to correct it. If our position can only be bolstered with false arguments and lies, perhaps there's something wrong with our position. I want people to be able to trust me. Of course, I never heard from her again.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Female hair loss Posted: 11/11/2009 4:14:12 PM
I have some mild male pattern hair loss. It's hereditary. Did your mother have it? See your doctor. And don't panic. Mine slowed. I'm not bald yet. Mine started around 40 and I'm 56 now.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Eating Healthy on a low income? Posted: 11/11/2009 4:11:52 PM
Fruits and veggies, while important, will not supply you with protein, which is essential. Beans are the cheapest sources of protein. Get either a slow cooker or a pressure cooker and learn to love beans.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Chain emails - Do you pass them on? Check the facts? Posted: 11/11/2009 4:05:28 PM
I'm surprised and disappointed at the amount of false information people pass on without bothering to check the facts. Today's hoax was the Obama's supposed "Holiday Tree." It took me less than 30 seconds to look it up on FactCheck and see it was a hoax, but there it is making the internet rounds and showing up as a "poll" on FaceBook. It takes only seconds to verify information, thanks to the internet and sites like FactCheck and snopes. Of course, it also only takes seconds to pass on bogus emails to everyone on your mailing list. Why do people pass this stuff on? Do you take the time to verify the facts? Or do you pass these things on blindly? Do you know about snopes and FactCheck? Inquiring minds want to know.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Movie Quotes Posted: 11/10/2009 11:20:24 AM
"Live every day as if it were your last, for one day you are sure to be right." Breaker Morant

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 102 (view)

Clitoral vs. Vaginal orgasms Posted: 11/10/2009 11:00:08 AM
I said there is no such thing as a G-spot I did not say there is no such thing as Vaginal orgasms. Can you take your finger and rub the magical "G-spot" to make you gf orgasim? You can take your finger and feel an area of tissue that is different from the surrounding tissue. There is an identifiable area of distinctly different tissue that has come to be called the G-spot. Apparently, stimulating this area will cause some women to have orgasms. However, on this woman it only makes me have to pee. (This is not that unusual, either.)

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 123 (view)

Is porn ruining real live sex? Posted: 11/10/2009 10:43:23 AM
“Is porn ruining our vision?” I wondered why most men over 50 wear glasses I thought it was masturbation that would make us go blind.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

HOW CAN YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT CAUSING THAT PERSON PAIN? Posted: 11/9/2009 4:20:42 PM
i don't want to ruin my reputation on pof ...but i have never used the steven king method of breaking up on someone...i merely answered in a hypothetical way...the reason is...why pray tell is everyone on here so deadpan...is it because the very thought of losing a love drive you bonkers...i mean do you have no choices, no prospects...is someone breaking up with you an actual problem...do you cling to everyone you meet for dear life...did you ever think maybe that is the reason he left...allow people to breathe...give them their space...suffocation is uncomfortable... I got it and I thought you were brilliant. There's a film, "Truly, Madly, Deeply," about a dead husband who comes back to his grieving wife and gradually irritates the heck out of her in order to help her get over her loss.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 113 (view)

Is porn ruining real live sex? Posted: 11/9/2009 4:17:07 PM
Well, when I say it hasn't ruined sex for me, it's not because I'm watching it because I don't have an interest. However, I do not encounter men who have unrealistic expectations so that's what I mean when I say it isn't ruining sex for me. I think that, like TV, alcohol, drugs, eating, and a lot of other things, one can do it in a way that can interfere with normal life or not. Sex is more fun than it needs to be merely for procreation. I think there's nothing wrong with human beings enjoying their sexuality as long as they are not hurting themselves or others. What I am concerned about is that there are some women in the porn industry who are there under less than completely consensual conditions. What percentage, I don't know but that concerns me more than anything.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

smell me Posted: 11/9/2009 2:28:46 PM
I've read it's bogus and there's no evidence it works.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 111 (view)

Is porn ruining real live sex? Posted: 11/9/2009 1:52:58 PM
I don't know, it's not ruining sex for me. I'm not even kinky but I'm good at what I do because I love it. You could make the reverse argument and say it's helping people to learn about different possibilities. Stuff that used to be taboo is acceptable. I remember when oral sex was really out there and women mostly laid there, got f*cked, and no one thought much about their pleasure. I think a lot of women are real uncomfortable with men's interest in porn and I think they need to get over that men like seeing naked women and like sexual images. And so do some women. It doesn't mean we need to have our faces rubbed in it. But you know, women just have to accept that men are very sexual creatures and that is not necessarily a bad thing. What about romance novels? Do they give women unrealistic ideas about romance and sex? Aren't romance novels, in a sense, pornography for women? <div class='quote'>Or, all in the name of not chafing my face. It never ceases to amaze me how one dimensional your mind is. Instead of being curious, and learning about your world, or being open to the possibility there's another answer – you're the first to jump to some stupid irrational conclusion. Forgive me, if I misunderstand, but are you saying that going down on a woman causes you to have your face get irritated? Because I was in a lesbian relationship for 6 years and I can tell you that pubic hair does not irritate your skin, and I have delicate skin. And if I misunderstood, never mind.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Cheating spouses...... opinions needed Posted: 11/9/2009 1:37:42 PM
You know. I've been thinking a lot about fidelity lately and would love to get other people's thoughts. I'm also ready to be completely misunderstood and trashed. However, I'll take my chances. First of all, I want to make it clear that I do not condone infidelity. I've always had a very strong opinion that if there is something wrong with your marriage that is causing you to turn outside of it for intimacy, you need to either fix your marriage or get out. I thought that cheating was the easy way out for the lazy and cowardly. I have to admit in recent years I'm softening my position, and I'm coming from a position of having been a wife who was cheated on more that once by a man who was neither completely open nor discreet about it. It was extremely painful and messy. However, I am aware that a lot of couples live in a sexless or nearly sexless marriage for a variety of reasons. I've had some fairly open conversations in recent times with married men in sexless marriages. (And occasionally with married women who are contemplating exploring sex with another woman because they are dissatisfied with their man in bed.) In one case, the wife is a successful professional whose attention is on her profession and she has no interest in sex, calls it "for kids." He loves his wife, admires and supports her success, enjoys her companionship, and enjoys the life they have together. He does not want to have to give it up. He also does not want to have to live almost entirely without sex, and so he's contemplating finding a woman he can get together with for that reason. In another case, the guy is a little younger, has a couple of kids. The wife totally lost interest in sex after the kids came along. He's tried to talk to her about it and (he says) she says she feels guilty about it but just isn't interested. He's getting pretty frustrated. He loves his kids, doesn't want to disrupt their lives or lose them. He said, "Marriage is a contract. She agreed to fvck me and I agreed not to fvck anyone else. She isn't holding up her end of the contract." Of course, one wonders what their wives might have to say but I will confess I myself have been the wife who lost interest in sex and then became very hurt when my husband became unfaithful. However, in my own defense I will say that the reason I lost interest was because he became selfish and didn't satisfy my need for affection. If he had done that, I would have been a lot more interested in sex. Since I left him, I was in two long term relationships (one 6 yrs., the other 4 yrs.) and the sex was great. My lovers were affectionate and cared about pleasing me and it stayed good, so I know I'm capable of that. At this point in my life I think a healthy sex life is an important part of a monogamous relationship. I would not be able to stay with a person who was unwilling to keep me happy in bed and I would want to make sure my partner was also being kept happy. If I were with someone who wouldn't, I'd have to tell them either keep me happy, let me go, or accept I'm going to look elsewhere. I think it's unreasonable to expect fidelity from someone and at the same time refuse to take care of their needs. And I'm wondering if it isn't a bit harsh to demand of someone they give up everything they have with their spouse just because they aren't getting laid and they want to have a reasonable, healthy sex life. Okay, I'm prepared to get blasted but I'm wondering if anyone else shares these ideas?

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

HOW CAN YOU BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE WITHOUT CAUSING THAT PERSON PAIN? Posted: 10/30/2009 4:36:38 PM
I think you're right. The best way to avoid causing unnecessary pain is to go about your relationships carefully in the first place. Don't get involved with people you shouldn't, don't mislead anyone. It's one thing to give it a chance when you're having doubts. We all have doubts at times and it doesn't mean we should immediately back out. However, at the point you realize it's time to go, you are only prolonging the situation the more you delay.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

mate poaching (women who insist on taking another woman's man)? Posted: 10/30/2009 4:31:43 PM
I used to laugh when I'd watch people try to wheel up my woman. I'd just sit and watch. She wouldn't identify me, and I'd just sit close enough to listen in on the chat. One time I even remember some guy turns over and says "Do you mind? I'm talking here!" so I said "I'm just waiting my turn." Funny. I like that. When I was with my girlfriend - guys were really attracted to her and they'd hit on her. I'd watch them, watch her lead them on. I'd sit there and think, "Flirt all you want, Buddy, cuz she's going home with me!"

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

Clitoral vs. Vaginal orgasms Posted: 10/30/2009 4:22:49 PM
Physiologically there's no difference. ALL orgasms originate in the clitoris. Most women (at least 75%) do not achieve orgasm through intercourse alone and need clitoral stimulation. This can be done during intercourse and might work, might not. Does it feel different when someone/something is inside of you? Yes, the sensation is different. It's also different if someone's up your rear, too. But it all starts in the clitoris no matter what else is going on. Don't worry. Relax. Have fun. Don't worry about what anyone else says. <div class='quote'> If you're adept enough (and who knows you just may be), you can go in a little further and up a little higher and get "above" the spot and massage there (slowly but firmly)...from what I've observed personally, eyes tend to roll in the backs of heads, toes curl, and they swear they hear trumpets and see Angels... What he said. That's my favorite place. G-Spot just makes me want to pee. Hey, always love seeing you here, BigDaddy!

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 127 (view)

Sex during your period? Posted: 10/30/2009 4:18:49 PM
Diaphragms are very handy at a time like that.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Who has used dental dams for oral sex? Posted: 10/30/2009 12:16:29 PM
Having a slight latex fetish, I thought it was kind of fun. One idea is to conform the plastic a little so you aren't just licking plastic, you're moving the plastic along with all those awesome oral tricks you've perfected. Hey, thanks for the lesson. That was helpful. Ya learn something new every day.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

We need to standardize how calendar dates are written Posted: 10/30/2009 11:57:52 AM
I can't remember about England or Mexico, but I've travelled in at least a dozen countries and most put the day & then the month. I think the U.S. is in the minority. <div class='quote'> I agree. If you were to write the date out, rarely would someone write "26 October, 2009", so why then write 26/10/09? Actually, that is the way they write it out in many countries. I think it's the international standard.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Are you a shoe slut? Posted: 10/30/2009 11:55:01 AM
No, not a shoe slut. Just a plain old slut. ;-)

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Novels that are dramatically different from the films Posted: 10/30/2009 10:12:56 AM
Big disappointment: Out of Africa. The book - wonderful. The movie - a second-rate romance whose only relation to the book is that it takes place in Kenya. Another: House of the Spirits. The novel - fabulous. The movie - anh! Not that impressive. The Handmaid's Tale: couldn't hardly put the book down. Terrible movie. One film that did do justice to the story: Babette's Feast. Both of them exceptional.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Students Rights.... advice or opinions needed Posted: 10/27/2009 1:02:06 PM
Twice he had forgotten to bring his gym attire, and recieved a 0 for that, which despite all his other efforts, brought his grade down to a D at midterms. If he shows up unprepared, what's the teacher supposed to do? If he truly is being harassed by a teacher, he needs to document exactly what is happening, get witnesses, and you need to present this to the principal. If they don't respond, then find out what the procedure it. It's hard to know. Some kids complain of being "picked on" when they aren't. On the other hand, some teachers really do treat students unfairly, which should not be tolerated.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Is gay cheating the same? Posted: 10/25/2009 9:36:50 AM
I think the matter of what is "cheating" depends on the agreement between two people. If your agreement is to be completely monogamous, then it doesn't matter who the other party is. I know a few hetero couples where the guy tolerates the woman having occasional encounters with other women and doesn't consider it cheating. As far as we've come in being more tolerant of homosexuality, it's still a big taboo for a lot of people and probably difficult for many men to integrate about themselves. There are men who don't realize they're gay, get married, and then figure it out. There are men who realize it but think getting married and having sex with women will "cure" them. And there are men who are bisexual and this creates a dilemma. Some bisexual people have no difficulty being monogamous but some have a hard time giving up sex with one or the other. If they have an understanding partner and a strong relationship, they may be able to be open about it. However, not all partners can deal very well with such a situation. This creates a real bind: either give up the possibility of that aspect of yourself and live with the frustration of it forever or be secretive about it. It's a tough situation to be in. No matter what, if your partner believes you are being monogamous, make sure you take measures to protect them from getting any STDs.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 81 (view)

Have you ever heard another couple having sex? Posted: 10/25/2009 9:26:03 AM
I love hearing other people having sex! I regularly hear my neighbor. I'm glad someone's getting some! I try to be quiet so I don't disturb them.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 73 (view)

Businesses Asking for Tips. Posted: 10/25/2009 9:11:32 AM
Perhaps in some States you allow that kind of behaviour from employers. We don't. We go after the politicians to place minimum wage laws and include servers. Tipping is certainly NOT mandatory in any way! yna6, I notice you're in Quebec. Things may be different there, I don't know. However, the system as it exists here has been around for a long time and that's the way it is. Anyone who has worked in a restaurant knows it's hard work. People deserve to earn a living wage if they are doing honest work. As for the person who said, of the barrista at Starbucks, "Get a real job!" - Who would then serve your coffee? The minimum wage is so low because tips are expected here. Tips are expected here because the wage is so low. Restaurant employees are exempt from minimum wage because their income comes primarily from tips. Minimum wage is set low because of politicians. I know, because I've been involved in lobbying for minimum wage laws. People who own some businesses want to pay as little as they legally can. I have sympathy for the small business owner who is struggling themselves, but when the owners are some of the richest people in town - all I can say is this is the kind of situation that Marx wrote about and it makes him start sounding real attractive to the people at the bottom. Uncontrolled capitalism rewards greed and ruthlessness. You have to make it work for everyone. Anyone doing honest work deserves fair compensation. Period.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

just an idea about affordable healthcare Posted: 10/25/2009 8:54:24 AM
Why is the employer responsible for suppling my health insurance.. Before WWII, there was no employer-provided health insurance. There was not health insurance as we know it, period. There were mutual aid societies, many of the instituted by labor unions, where groups of people would each contribute and try to help each other out when something serious happened to them. Essentially, you were on your own. The rich could pay for doctors, the poor went without, suffered and died, got what little charity might come their way. After WWII there was a period of inflation and there was a wage freeze. In order to attract employees, companies began offering health insurance as a benefit since they could not offer any wage increases. It became a very popular benefit and became standard in the workforce. In Europe, by contrast, things evolved differently. Since the fighting took place on their soil, much of Europe was devastated. In an effort to take care of the millions of sick & wounded & deliver health care to people whose infrastructure was often destroyed, health care became organized by the respective governments since it was the most efficient way to get it out to the greatest number of people. In England, the government began a government run health care system when thousands of children were moved from London and other major cities to the countryside in order to protect them from the bombing. There was a sudden influx of children into small rural towns and these children needed to be housed, educated, and taken care of. Government run clinics were created in these previously underserved areas and it was noticed that the health of the existing populations in those areas improved now that they had access to health care. After the war, it was decided to continue this system and the healthcare system came to become government run. You may remember that after the U.S. ousted Saddam Hussein in Iraq, then President Bush promised, among other things, to create a national health care system in Iraq. Apparently it's okay for Iraqis but would be evil socialism here. Things evolved differently here than they did in other places. If you understand the respective histories of our systems, they make sense. However, things have changed here. There are many factors in the high cost of health care in the U.S. and a discussion of it deserves thoughtful consideration. The question, of course, is where do we go from here? I still am waiting for someone to answer my question: those of you who oppose reform, what do you suggest for those of us who do not have employer provided health insurance and are faced with being dropped by insurance companies, rejected by them, having treatment for any preexisting conditions excluded from our policies, and paying more than those in group policies for less money? And please, if you answer the question, state whether you yourself have employer provided insurance.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 8 (view)

Wine Lovers Posted: 10/25/2009 8:31:40 AM
I buy wine at two places: Trader Joe's and a little Italian grocery near my home that has quite a variety of decent wine at modest prices. Between the two, they keep me happy. I like patronizing my little independent small business but, unfortunately, they don't carry zinfandel, so I resort to Trader Joe's.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

People With No Conversation Skills Posted: 10/23/2009 8:32:56 PM
Ok, I've been using online dating for about a couple of month and seriously is the education system in the U.S. this bad. Check the spelling, grammar, and sentence structure of most of the posters. Or the capacity for critical thinking, grasp of basic science principles, basic knowledge of history. I think there's plenty of evidence that the education system really is this bad. I also think a lot of it is laziness. Don't let that drag you down, though. There are intelligent, thoughtful people in the world who will be interested in conversing with you. When you find them, enjoy them, because they are hard to find. Good luck. You sound like an interesting lad.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 190 (view)

Do woman like Guitarists? Posted: 10/23/2009 8:16:18 PM
I dunno, but k.d. lang took up playing banjo and says playing banjo is a chick magnet. I've heard there's tens of dollars to be made playing old time music but I'm not in it for the money, I'm in it for the groupies.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 88 (view)

A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do? Posted: 10/23/2009 7:57:18 PM
write his ass up for sexual harassment He didn't actually sexually harass anyone. And being a racist isn't in and of itself a crime. However, treating your coworkers disrespectfully should not be tolerated by any employer. Listen, I worked construction for 13 years and guys, when there's no women around, can be pretty crude. You can't take everything they say seriously. I'm not making excuses for him, or saying he isn't being a jerk, but he has not done anything to harass an employee. What he has done is to express some very disrespectful sentiments about a fellow employee. If it were me, ideally what I'd like to do is take him aside and say to him, privately, "Listen, I overheard you talking about __X__ in a manner that I consider very disrespectful. I expect everyone here to conduct themselves professionally and to treat each other with respect. You don't have to like you coworkers but you must treat them respectfully. I trust that I can count on you to do that." And then I'd leave it at that. I'd keep an eye out for inappropriate behavior. I might go to the woman involved and casually ask her, "How's it going? Everything okay?" I wouldn't want to plant it that there's a problem because it's quite possible that he's never treated her weird. However, I'd watch the situation. I might talk to a lawyer just to get a sense of what's okay, what's not okay, where the boundaries are, how to conduct yourself. Does your business have a written policy on professional conduct? You might want to think about that. Dating on the job is a really bad idea. It really opens up lots of problematic possibilities.

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Wine Lovers Posted: 10/23/2009 7:48:44 PM
I like shiraz/syrah and zinfandel myself. I get it at Trader Joe's. I come by my taste for zinfandel through my Croatian grandfather. He always had a little juice glass of it every afternoon. Turns out grape geneticists believe the zinfandel originated in Croatia. By the way, Primitivo, grown in Sicily, is now know to actually be zinfandel grapes. I get Montepulciano d'Abruzzo at a nearby Italian grocery. It's inexpensive and I like it. I'll try just about any red but I'm not crazy about merlot. I also like Barbera, a wine grown in northern Italy. I was visiting relatives in the Piedmont region and that's what they kept on their table. Here's an article about it: http://wine.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Barbera

arwen52

Joined: 3/13/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Need heathy cost effective sugar alternatives. Posted: 10/23/2009 7:39:34 PM
Here's the thing, I'm fairly new at jam making and this product I hope to have on the market but before if gets there the health inspector has to approve the recipes and the product gets tested for its sugar content to ensure there is enough in it to help preserve it. Seems like you'd want to get your jam making down before you think about a business. Good luck. Pectin requires sugar. Using grape juice concentrate or similar not only will not work with the pectin, it's no healthier from your blood sugar/insulin reaction standpoint. Sugar is sugar. Fructose will spike your blood sugar and insulin just as quickly as sucrose. People may think it's "healthier" but it's no better for you. You need to do some research before you think about doing this as a business. Good luck.

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