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Posted In Forum: All Forums Alabama Alaska Alberta Arizona Arkansas Art/Music Ask A Girl Ask A Guy Australia British Columbia Broken Hearts California Colorado Connecticut Dating & Love Advice Dating Experiences Dating Sites Delaware District Of Columbia Event Hosts forum Florida Georgia Hawaii Health & Fitness Humor Idaho Illinois Indiana Introductions Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Manitoba Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Brunswick New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York Newfoundland News/Current Events North Carolina North Dakota Nova Scotia Off Topic Ohio Oklahoma Ontario Oregon Over 30 Over 45 Pennsylvania Plentyoffish Get Togethers Plentyoffish Site/Suggestions/Help Poems And Quotes Politics Prince Edward Island Profile Reviews Quebec Recipes & Cooking Relationships Religion/Supernatural Rhode Island Saskatchewan Science/Philosophy Sex and Dating Single Parents South Carolina South Dakota Sports Stories/creative writing Technology and computers Tennessee Testimonials Texas Uk Forums Utah Vermont Virginia Volunteer Moderators Only Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming Home   login   MyForums   Show ALL Forums      Author  Thread: its been 5 months!  dermgirl Joined: 3/15/2008 Msg: 18 (view)   its been 5 months! Posted: 4/2/2009 10:55:10 AM You bring up a very good point. Thank you. I would never want to drag my ex into my next relationship, whenever and whoever it is with. I may not have reacted well to situations in the past but I will never repeat my past mistakes with God's help. :-)  dermgirl Joined: 3/15/2008 Msg: 16 (view)   Your situation Posted: 4/2/2009 10:10:06 AM I am certainly not psycho. I did make mistakes.....and I am not proud of some of my behavior. However, admitting that makes me less of a psycho than posting such a mean reply post to someone who is reaching out for help to be a better person. Thank you for putting things in perspective. As bad as I was in my past relationship, I will never be a cold harded B----h such as yourself.  dermgirl Joined: 3/15/2008 Msg: 9 (view)   its been 5 months! Posted: 4/2/2009 1:00:34 AM I agree to! What a great post! Thank you.  dermgirl Joined: 3/15/2008 Msg: 16 (view)   cant get over it Posted: 4/1/2009 11:30:17 AM I am having a hard time letting go as well, and I didn't act appropriately all of the time either. Beating yourself up or having others do that for you is not going to help. For me what is helping, is realizing I can change and I will be different in my next relationship, because I want to be.....also, someone posted a reply to me that I thought was great : "realize you went as far as you had the capacity to do at the time"--- maybe you have some underlying issues that prevented you from attracting and keeping the right person in your life. I know I did. Good luck!  dermgirl Joined: 3/15/2008 Msg: 5 (view)   its been 5 months! Posted: 4/1/2009 11:21:46 AM Thank you!!!! That is a great piece of advice. My head knows this too, I am just having a hard time wrapping my arms around it.  dermgirl Joined: 3/15/2008 Msg: 1 (view)   its been 5 months! Posted: 4/1/2009 10:50:00 AM Hi, I am not new to POF but new to this forum. After lying in bed this AM, sad and tears staining my cheeks, I decided to write into this forum to see if anyone can add something to the side of my head that is being logical. Here is my story....My ex and I broke up the beginning of last November. It was a crushing blow to me, as I knew we had issues to work thru, but I had believed him that he was willing to do the work with me when I agreed to get back together with him the previous spring, after we had broken up for two months and I met someone else. It was then he felt, that the turmoil that existed in our relationship was not all me, and he had some "growing" to do as well. I took him back and things were great. Until August, then we started to argue again. I put a stop to it by realizing that I had put this man thru a lot, and I thought that if I put his feelings ahead of mine, eventually we could work together as a "couple" again. But, It didn't work that way. I began to suffer from not getting my emotions cared for......So, that November night, after a fight (he was the screamer, I just shut down), when he said it was over for good, I fell into a place that I thought I could never climb out of..... Now, I wasn't perfect in this relationship. I went through a rough time personally in my life during our relationship and I didn't cope with things in the healthiest of ways and certainly not the way he would have coped. But, here we are 5 months later......he has moved on and is probably dating a great and wonderful woman. I am now dating, and have met someone that I have chemistry with (going on 3rd date tonight), but I still can't get over that feeling that if my ex knew me now, without the tough times, he would think differently of me and our relationship. What does a person do with these feeling when you realize that there is not a chance of ever knowing "what could have been"? I believe I am ready to date bc the first two dates with this guy, was the first time, since my ex and I broke up that I did not even think of my ex. He was no longer "in the room" with me on a date. It was a GREAT feeling! Thanks for reading and letting me ramble. Dermgirl   Show ALL Forums