do guys really intimadate that easily? chat & forums.

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tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

do guys really intimadate that easily? Posted: 7/7/2007 11:22:34 AM
I really think they should admire you for what you are doing. What you are doing is certainly not easy (owning a business never is) and does take a lot of time. That is all a part of who you are; anybody worth his salt will appreciate that. If someone has problems with what you do for a living, it is his loss, not yours. Perhaps these individuals are thinking that you won't have any time for them. They need to realize that if you are "into" them, you will find a way to balance things and make time for them too. Another way to help a solution to that end, gentlemen. Offer to roll up your sleeves and help her a bit Some people are very quick to make assumptions. I would be honoured to have someone like you in my life. Keep hanging in there; there will be one who does appreciate the "full package".

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

When you are first with a new woman Posted: 5/31/2007 10:34:21 AM
I would be supremely complimented if the lady made the first moves there. Otherwise you would have a similar situation to an intersection controlled by four way stop signs. If nobody proceeds to go first, nobody will get anywhere. Real men are complimented if you ladies make the first move. It really shouldn't matter who does it, just that somebody does.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Consumer laughs Posted: 3/4/2007 8:54:53 AM
I dunno. I've developed a rather fond taste for Silica Gel myself. And you get it free with almost anything you buy...

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

If she e-mails first does that scare you off? Posted: 3/2/2007 1:08:41 AM
@Moontress You have great photos, a delightfully eclectic list of interests and a supremely well thought out essay. Try avoiding the avoiding. I would bet my last dollar you'd be pleasantly surprised. We are often far too critical of ourselves and can be our own worst enemies. You have a great deal to offer. Just go for it! OP - I wish there were more like you. Life on Plenty of Fish would be vastly different. It doesn't matter who makes the first move. The important thing is that that first move be made. Food for thought: if someone sees that you find him attractive (by you e-mailing him first), that doesn't exactly hurt the prospect of him also finding you attractive. I also make a point of replying to each and every e-mail.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Do you think its ok to chat to more then 1 person? Posted: 12/25/2006 8:35:17 AM
Isn't that all part of playing the field? You have to spend some time with several different people in order to find out what you like and what you don't. It helps you figure out just who you should be looking for. I don't consider that game playing at all. Quite the contrary. You are not out to see just how many notches you can carve into your bedpost. You merely want to find the person who is right for you. While it undoubtedly at first will hurt someone you've been talking to when you let her know that you have found someone else that you think will be a better fit for you, you are actually doing her a favour by letting her know upfront that it will not work. She will not be wasting her time in something that isn't going anywhere. "Getting to know you" is just that. If that is the stage you are at you don't really owe anybody a great deal. I do firmly believe that honesty is the best policy at all times, though. "Attraction" has to be by far the most illogical thing on this entire planet. I have certainly yanked out many a hair because of it.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

How did you find POF Posted: 7/31/2006 8:27:34 AM
I actually heard about POF through the disc jockey on one of Vancouver's hit music stations mentioning it. I had borrowed someone else's work van for the day and left the radio tuned right where it was. Quite a fluke, actually.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

no driver's license Posted: 7/23/2006 9:20:13 AM
Having or not having a driver's license in no way changes who you are. That is what really counts. No issue there at all.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Should I have paid or not? Posted: 7/23/2006 9:09:43 AM
OP: No, no and no. I'm right behind you on this one. This guy was a major Boor in many ways. You started off the right way in covering all bases by indicating that you were willing to pay in that you were on a bit of a budget. As you really don't know a person from Adam on a first date, I would call that a really good strategy. He should not have just dragged you into such an expensive place. If it was his intention for you to both go Dutch, he should have asked you, "How does this place look to you?" or something along those lines. To me, on a go-Dutch type of date, you would normally have more firmly mutually planned just where you were going in order that it would fit in with the budgets and likes of both parties. He said to you to not worry about it when you said you were on a budget. And he also asked you what you were having. That certainly is very clear to me. I would have thought that he was intending to pay. In my rulebook, whoever does the asking pays. If the other person offers to cover her share, I either graciously accept it or gently suggest that I'll cover this time, how about her covering the next time. It really sounds to me like he was the one who did the asking and planned the date. You asked him "where are we going" and he wound up telling you. It sounds like you basically agreed to meet without discussing where you were going beforehand. Very clear.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Question of how soon is too soon in a long distance relationship. Posted: 7/22/2006 9:46:34 PM
@Kerrymh: The biggest problem with a long distance relationship is that when you finally do get to meet in person there is overwhelming pressure to “make things happen or else”. “Oh my Gawd, we only have two days!” etc. In a situation where you are dating someone from your own town, things develop at a more normal pace. You get to know each other and whatever “happens” does so naturally as things progress. You do not in many ways have this luxury with a long distance relationship. The last thing I was expecting when the long distance lady and I finally got together for a three-day weekend after talking for several months daily on the phone was that she would haul me into the bedroom on our second night together. I was totally blown away by this; it was the nicest possible compliment any woman could have shown me. How could anyone judge someone paying him such a grand compliment as a slut? She was just making the most of the time we had together. She was really “into” me, so why not? Normally, the sex would not have come that quickly. The restraints of having little time together made that happen far more prematurely than it normally would have. I would say go with the flow and do what seems right for you, Kerry. If he is truly worth his salt, he will recognize you for the quality lady you are (as we do through your always thoroughly enjoyed forum posts) and he won’t even give that a second thought. Do be forewarned, though. If the time you have together is truly magical (including the sex), you just may feel an aching in your heart once you have returned home unlike any other you have ever known. I hope your get together is everything you wanted it to be. All the best with that.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 560 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 7/7/2006 10:57:04 AM
@wullis And once in a while you READ a profile that has that SOMETHING .....personality, common intrests, heart, soul, whatever. You know you don't exactly fit the bill but you keep going back for another look. Finally you say the worst thing that can happen is she tells you to drop dead, and just maybe that special thing you THINK you see will transend the differences in the profile Sage wisdom if I've ever seen it. Your words could have been mine, Brother. There have been many postings as to why people add individuals to their favourites list without contacting them. You've definitely hit upon a good reason for that as well. That bar is often set just a smidge too high.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Favorites Lists Posted: 7/4/2006 10:01:36 AM
I have always taken a girl removing herself from my favourites list as indicating that she is simply not interested in talking to me. I would truly love to be proven wrong on this. In all the time I''ve been on POF, I''ve only had two people write in to say hello after seeing that I''d added them to my favourites list. Let''s turn this around a bit, shall we. If you had put me on your favourites list with the intention of writing to me and I removed you from the list before you''d done that, would you still write to me? I do think a lot depends on how someone interprets the purpose of a favourites list. I use it as a bookmark of profiles that interest me; people I would like to write to. Oftentimes, I really like what I see but there is a little something there that seems to raise the bar to the high end of the range and I have a debate with myself as to whether I can measure up to the standard. I know, I should just go for it. Path of least resistance I guess. You gals do sometimes set the bar just a smidge high.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

How Long Would You Like To See That First Message Be? Posted: 7/2/2006 11:23:19 PM
Thank you ever so much for your input, ladies. It's very clear how I need to change my approach. A great big to you all.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

How Long Would You Like To See That First Message Be? Posted: 7/2/2006 10:22:00 AM
When a guy writes to you for the first time after reading your profile, how long would you prefer the message to be? I’m having a little trouble finding a happy medium there. I want to say enough in order that you realize that I am an interesting and unique guy but don’t want to overwhelm you, either. When I write to someone, I typically just let the thoughts flow and do come up with a totally unique message every time. In looking over past messages I’ve sent, they range from a low of about 250 words to a high of about 750, for an average of about 450 words, 45 lines and 10 paragraphs (calculated by Microsoft Word). I would like to thank you all so much in advance for your input here.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

wow! Posted: 7/1/2006 9:26:19 AM
What you have written here is just plain old good common sense. Sage wisdom at its best, Sir. I have seen this myself and wholeheartedly agree. I'm more than a little curious as to why someone would want to have ideas like this deleted. Did someone perhaps deem "seeking attention/pity"? I do think that one is enacted just a little aggressively. I would be interested to read your full original commentary, on the off chance you still have it. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. To me, that is what "forums" should be all about.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

How to deal with cell-phoners Posted: 6/14/2006 9:23:32 PM
My cellphone is a part of my business. If I meet with someone during reasonable working hours I explain upfront that I am on call and do have my cell with me. If a call does happen to come in, I politely excuse myself and make sure it stays short and sweet. That is what a business call should be, anyway. The person you are with on the date should be your first priority. I'm fully behind nuthafish and several of the other posters on this one. If you are out with someone, you don't spend twenty minutes yakking to someone else. [Quote] I don't talk per se, just surf the net and make a random comment on PoF now and then........ It's all good. [/Quote] That comment totally speaks for itself. There was at one time smoking and non-smoking sections in many restaurants. I did see a newspaper cartoon many years ago touting "phoning" or "non-phoning" sections. Perhaps that author was just a little ahead of his or her time.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Regular Email or MSN vs communicating on POF Posted: 6/14/2006 8:52:50 PM
I personally find that the IM on Plenty Of Fish is highly temperamental at best. I on only very rare occasions have been able to get an actual connection. Sites like this get a great deal of traffic. The purpose of a site like POF is to meet someone. To me, once you have met someone, I think it is a good idea do your communicating elsewhere to avoid contributing to the traffic problem. Let someone else have the space, as it were. Very much like pulling out of a parking space after you have finished shopping at the mall. While I am certainly not the supreme expert on web design by any means, I do appreciate how complicated the underlying code must be in order for a site like this to work the way it is intended to. To me, “complicated” can mean “problems”. I know that my MSN and e-mail do what they are supposed to. I am comfortable using them. If I suggest communicating off this site, it is strictly for comfort and convenience. It is much nicer composing something in a program like Microsoft Word than in the small text boxes typically provided on websites like this. Yes, the site designer has to keep things manageable but that can also cramp my style. I can be “me” if I am allowed to use what I am accustomed to.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

What relaxes you? Posted: 6/13/2006 8:53:41 AM
My greatest way to unwind is to grab the digital camera, hop in the car and just stop somewhere for a few hours, fully absorbing where I am by means of the camera. This gets me so focused (somewhat bad pun - sorry) that anything or anybody that ails me gets very quickly forgotten. As an added bonus, on one of those "things aren't going so well" days, I have a whole bunch of memories of a wonderful day to bring back out and totally forget about the not going well.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CONTACT ME? And other cries for help. Profiles reviewed here for free! Posted: 6/1/2006 7:38:27 PM
You sound just like what the doctor ordered. I recently revamped my profile. When you get a moment, would you please work your magic and let me know what you think? Thank you ever so much in advance for your time and consideration.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 74 (view)

I'll review profiles...no promises that I'll be gentle Posted: 5/29/2006 10:00:13 AM
I greatly appreciate someone who can give us a no holds barred female point of view. Don't think this will put you to sleep. I just revamped it. Give 'er the old evil eye and rip 'er apart. Thank you ever so much in advance for your time and consideration.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 384 (view)

Execution by Brutal Honesty Posted: 5/27/2006 9:23:55 AM
RE: Msg 360 Great Rx, Doc. Just what the patient needed. Thank you ever so much. I have thus far encountered a fairly good number of, shall we say, "interesting" women here on Central Vancouver Island. I definitely hear you.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 354 (view)

Execution by Brutal Honesty Posted: 5/22/2006 11:16:24 PM
Brutal? Just what the doctor ordered. Just revamped it. Give 'er the old evil eye and rip 'er apart when you get a moment, please. Thank you ever so much.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 518 (view)

Do you want a ruthless review? Posted: 5/22/2006 11:14:26 PM
Do we know what "popular" is yet? I've just revised mine and could really use some input, if you would, please. Your insight will be greatly appreciated when you have a moment. Thank you ever so much.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 401 (view)

New Fish, Please Read Posted: 5/13/2006 12:15:24 AM
Don't think this one's been covered yet. Where are we - I think 17,382: (Plug in your own city in this scenario.) In my case, I live in Nanaimo, British Columbia and am hoping to find someone within reasonable commuting distance. I'll immediately seek you out if you put "Vancouver Island" as your city, or "somewhere in BC" or "across the pond" or "west of Hog Town" or "whatever". What is the harm in calling your city what it is? My name is Clair Voyant. Having your city will clinch it for me. I'll show up at your door immediately if I don't have a last name, an address, or an e-mail address to synthesize the above from. Nobody from your town would recognize you from the twelve photos you have posted. Great strategy. You surely would not want to get more responses by showing up properly in searches, now would you? Heaven forbid...

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 354 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 4/30/2006 9:07:21 AM
@just4forums: Are they even seeing your handle? That really couldn't be more clear if you tried.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 353 (view)

Do You Men Read Our Whole Profiles? Posted: 4/30/2006 9:05:32 AM
A great photo may initially attract my attention, but it is what the person says in the profile that will keep my interest piqued. If I am interested in someone, I not only make sure that I have read the entire profile but also have fully absorbed what they are actually saying. That doesn't necessarily come from one read-over. I likewise regularly write to people who have chosen to not post photos. Appearance is only one part of that total magic.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 93 (view)

Smart Women Posted: 4/24/2006 10:19:44 AM
@Haleth, RE: Message 32 Aren't we being awfully quick to form opinions here? I do not see where you are picking that up, but I do not have an antagonistic opinion of you at all. I was merely adding comment to what you already said – calling things as I see them. Isn’t that what a forum is all about? I did actually interpret your post as being flippant. Mine appears to be coming across awfully seriously to you. That was not quite my intention. With your message 32, you are actually reinforcing the point I was trying to make. If mentioning about the inability to find a great many people in one’s own locale and the lack of responses one often gets (I really fail to see what else I actually said in my post) makes someone come across as being full of him or herself, then I guess I have a fair bit of soul searching to do.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Smart Women Posted: 4/22/2006 12:40:23 PM
@Haleth: Might I please ever so kindly trouble you to apply just a smidge more grey matter and endeavour as much as humanly possible to ascertain just why all the great people you'd really like to ask out are always many hundreds of miles away? And I'm afraid "Murphy's Law" is not a satisfactory answer (we have a lawyer in town here named Murphy - talk about built-in marketability). I have actually encountered several great women from around my area. Most of them don't seem to want to take the time to see what I am really about. I do not think you form the proper impression of someone in a mere ten seconds (or less) like some people on here seem to do. Very much like the labour market.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Smart Women Posted: 4/22/2006 9:56:50 AM
This guy is not in the least intimidated by smart women. Quite the opposite. That is simply a part of who you are. If I am "into" you, that is because of the whole package that makes you uniquely "you". To me, mind and soul are even more important than what the eyes pick up. I am not intimidated by a woman's success, either. I would actually be honoured to be a part of that and throw all my support behind you. Someone who has it going on cerebrally is much easier to talk to. If you can't talk to one another, what can you say that you have in common?

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

What ratio of the people out there do you consider desirable enough to date? Posted: 4/12/2006 9:52:01 AM
I did a good search for this beforehand and was unable to find any thread like this anywhere. Please don't make a liar out of me, Mr. Murphy. I think this will be an interesting exercise. In the days before the Internet, I seem to recall a statistic that most people at that time considered about one person in three desirable enough to date. I was just wondering what the POF community thought of this. Do you think this is valid and reasonable? What are your thoughts? As an interesting sideline, about what percentage of the profiles do you find here that truly pique your interest to the point that you are induced to write to the person. One in five? One in ten? More than that? Less than that? As always, thank you ever so much for your input, gang.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/26/2006 7:10:12 AM
:Stand_by: Supremely sharp observation. Should be commemorated along the likes of Confucius.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/26/2006 7:07:22 AM
:dancewithwolves1: Sage wisdom in my book, Brother. My biggest problem has been finding that happy medium between the two extremes of showing that I'm interested and overwhelming. I'm still a little weak on picking up the signposts that come up to point the way to that end. I'm just a little curious. What does her deleting her profile right after talking with me indicate tell you? That is the part that really has me wondering. Thank you ever so much for your input.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/18/2006 10:38:59 AM
:Sienna_Leigh: You are blessed with a great deal of old-fashioned common sense. Nothing at all personal taken in your comments on the possible outcome of the phone call. I greatly appreciate your input. In replaying that in my mind, I'm sure neither of the two scenarios you portrayed was there. Perception is such an individual thing, though, that anything is possible. It is also very hard to be totally objective with yourself many times. Thank you ever so much for your opinion.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/18/2006 10:22:36 AM
:Fran_gal: and :oddtweak : I greatly appreciate you sharing your opinions. I am an honest 47. Born June 23, 1958. My brother-in-law started his job at the age of 19 in 1965. He is now retired at the age of sixty. There is no point in lying in these profliles. If you do, it will catch up with you sooner or later. I'm not built that way anyway. I do appreciate the most interesting point of view on the age thing, though. It is entirely possible some people are perceiving me that way. The biggest challenge on services like this is understanding how people think. I would not have otherwise thought of this. Thank you both. BTW, Oddtweak, I would mistake your age the other way. You look great.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/18/2006 8:08:21 AM
:Intercooler: That was my very first thought. I really cannot remember saying anything bad to her. Anybody else think this is likely?

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/18/2006 8:05:40 AM
Thank you all for your input. She is local. She even let me know exactly where she works and also gave me a pretty exact idea of where she lives (narrowed down to three apartment buildings). She has all but told me her last name as well (it would be very easy to fully figure out). I know exactly who her father is (worked with my brother-in-law for forty years). She also shared with me about a dozen photos she had taken (she said she was just learning photography - they sure looked great to me). Our conversation was supremely upbeat and positive; there was no dwelling on the past at all. And her phone number she did not give to me - it came up as "private name, private number" in the call display. All of the above seemed to indicate that she was really "into" me. Am I going to use any of the above to track her down? At this point, I see a huge black flag. Unless a lot of you folks indicate that you think it might be worthwhile giving her one more try, I don't think I'll touch her with a ninety foot pole.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/18/2006 3:36:59 AM
Great site. Thanks a million, Hambone.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

What Would Be Your Handle On This? Posted: 3/18/2006 3:20:44 AM
Early this week I received a very beautiful and articulate letter from a most attractive lady who is eleven years my junior (I'm 47, she's 36). We seemed to have a great deal in common. We hooked up on MSN that evening and talked online for three and a half hours. I have never had such a grand first conversation with anyone. We talked about anything and everything. We both share a great passion for photography; she even shared a number of her works with me. As the three and a half hour mark passsed I passed her my phone number (so to speak) with the understanding that it was for her future reference when she felt comfortable to use it. She phoned me immediately and we talked for another three quarters of an hour. She did let me know that this was her second attempt on POF and that the first time around she was not very pleased with the results she was getting. The very next morning I saw that she had totally deleted her profile. I have not seen her on MSN since (I get the feeling she has blocked me). I have sent her a "hi, how ya doin', thank you for the most wonderful chat" e-mail to which I have received no response. I'm just wondering what you fellow POFer's think might have happened. It certainly looks very major to me. I really can't think of anything I did or said wrong. Do you folks think this is worth further pursuing at all or should I just let it totally go? Thank you all ever so much for your input.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

does their have to be chemestry Posted: 2/27/2006 4:47:12 PM
To put in my two bits worth, I do not feel that chemistry is always absolutely instant. Anything truly worthwhile can and does take time. I do feel there are people who are too much into looking for instant gratification. It doesn't always happen that way. There are many, many things about a person that make him or her "the one". It is a sheer magical combination of a number of factors. How they look is only one of them. I would say the bottom line here is how much you enjoy being with the person. If you truly enjoy one another's company, that is a really good start. As you describe her as "wonderful", there must be several qualities in her that really appeal to you. I would also call this a really good sign. It is not every day that you come across someone truly "wonderful". I would say just run with it and see what happens. It is entirely possible that as you get to know her better and see even more wonderful qualities, that something will "click" and suddenly she'll look mighty appealing sexually as well. You never know. This kind of stuff is not etched in stone. If after a reasonable length of time things still don't appear to be clicking on the sexual attraction front, then you do have a decision to make. Just run with it. What do you have to lose? At the very worst, you will have had a great deal of fun and satisfaction at having spent quality time with her and gained a truly special friend. At best, you just might decide that you have indeed found "the one" and just might be thanking yourself for having hung in there. By hanging in there, you will never wind up asking yourself whether it would have worked or not; you will definitively know. Nothing to lose either way, in my humble opinion. Best of luck to you two.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 121 (view)

does anyone get as turned off with a smoker as i do? Posted: 2/24/2006 9:31:03 PM
My Father was a captain on the tugboats for about forty years. That would mean he would be out at sea for weeks at a time. He was also a very heavy smoker. When he would come home, two of his fingers would literally be black. He ultimately became eaten up with cancer several years ago and is no longer with us. I have little doubt that his heavy smoking (rolled his own) contributed to his demise. My uncle was also a very heavy smoker. The chrome around the ashtray in his 1965 Oldsmobile was literally black from the smoke. I can't begin to imagine what it did to him. He is no longer with us, either. One of my cousins (a supremely gifted man) died in his mid fifties a few short years ago (also a very heavy smoker). I really couldn't bear the thought of possibly losing someone else close to me in that way. That would pretty much rule out a mate who smokes I am a devout non-smoker myself but in no way consider smokers to be second-class citizens. As a non-smoker, I unfortunately simply cannot spend any amount of time in a smokey environment. I'm afraid I am turned off by the smell; it simply lingers long after the fact. It really can bowl you over if you are not used to it.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Is my profile that bad? Posted: 2/18/2006 10:38:33 PM
:Jonathan: Don't fret it. I would say pretty well everyone here has been in the very same boat. I certainly know I have. When you really look at it, it is quite a long-odds numbers game we all play here. Just owing to how different and unique everyone is, on that basis it is quite a miracle that as many people wind up finding a partner as they do. A certain number of people are on the rather shallow side, to be sure. They are often looking for someone so "perfect" that that person simply does not exist in real life. You will see those same individuals still on the service months or even years later. Several people also carry a great deal of baggage which impedes their progress in gettting someone into their life. Certain people on here say they are looking for somebody but keep themselves so excessively busy with other things that that likewise is not likely to happen to them. They simply do not have any time for you. Just a few of the things we are all up against. I'm going to tell you the very same thing those close to me told me. It is not you. Keep your head held high. If someone captures your interest, do write to them. You will never know if you don't. And don't hold back. If the first one doesn't come through, try someone else. And so on. Put every last bit of quality you have into every message you send. Sure, you may be investing time in something that doesn't click. One of those times you will be floored when it actually does. Don't let the lack of responses deter you. You know within yourself that you are a worthwhile person. It is their loss, not yours.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

He won't let me see his daughter Posted: 2/18/2006 12:46:44 AM
I personally would call two years a serious relationship. When you date someone with children, you are taking on the entire package. Those children are a very major part of that person's life. While I fully appreciate and cannot fault any single parent's concern over the children becoming attached to someone who may not be around (I have long wondered about that), I really think that after two years you should have long ago been part of the daughter's life. To me, your boyfriend's stance sends out a very dark yellow flag. The first thing I would ask myself what other aspects of his life he is keeping from you. If he doesn't want you seeing the daughter, then it really looks to me like you are just not that important to him. I am ready to just break it off completely because I can't really trust him if he does that. You really say it all right here. I really think you have hit it right on the head. You are right to be concerned. I'd do some serious soul searching. Breaking it off completely may not be such a bad idea.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

What keeps a guy from asking for a second date? Posted: 2/16/2006 4:20:42 PM
This isn't exclusive to only guys. Some women do the very same thing. I can't say I have the answer to that one, either.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

I need women opinion/advice Posted: 1/21/2006 9:24:47 AM
I have to join the majority here and say that this is very clear. Life is too short. Time to toss the line back in the water, Chief.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Pics with a friend... Posted: 1/15/2006 9:13:56 AM
I have run into profiles where the only photos we see are of the person who owns the profile and a friend (or friends). While in some ways this is not a bad thing (at least "you" are in there somewhere and we do get a bit more insight into your life), I do have to side with paradise31 on this one. I simply do not know who you are. I am very hesitant to write to someone if I am not sure about them. And in reality, you wouldn't want your friend to possibly steal the thunder, would you? Not the greatest idea. I know it is not always the very easiest thing to do, but I would wholeheartedly recommend getting some photos of you exclusively. Or at the very least, indicate within your essay which person is you. Cheers.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Have you ever been sorry you posted to a thread? Posted: 1/15/2006 8:43:51 AM
I can most definitely relate to this one. Last summer I had a lady write to me and ask me very specifically whether I could give her a job in her second e-mail to me. The very first thread I ever started at Plenty Of Fish was intended to simply ask whether anybody else in the community saw some off-coloured flags in this behavior. Things very quickly became majorly polarized. While a number of people sided with me, many others took me to task for not wanting to wear my manager's hat during the times I am present on POF. It actually turned into a major debate over the merits of networking for employment and the appropriate times and places to do that. I was even accused of whining by some because I feel a manager is entitled to some private time away from his company. Such a cold-hearted orb. It all started out so simple and so innocent. I've just posted my second thread. We'll wait for scores on that one; hopefully this will be a little tamer.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

What do you ladies consider "fit"? "Healthy lifestyle"? Posted: 1/15/2006 8:27:31 AM
We got some great answers in another recent thread here in Dating Experiences about what "financially stable" really means. If I may, please, I would like to ask the very same thing about just what constitutes "fit" in your eyes and how you define "healthy lifestyle". I have actually held off on writing to a number of otherwise very desirable local women because I'm not sure whether I meet the criteria for their standards of either of the above. In an ideal world, I would love to shed about forty pounds (all huddled around my middle, naturally). This is becoming increasingly more difficult as I get older. While I have never been supremely athletically inclined or sports-minded (I do not have big bulging muscles), I certainly cannot be considered less than active. While I love my home theatre, a "couch potato" I most assuredly am not. I frequently put in up to fourteen hours or more in my mostly physical job (hope that doesn't scare anybody off). When I am out touring, I can go from early morning to well into the evening between the driving, stopping to walk around for a while, continuing the drive and so on. I quite handily out-walked the last lady I was seeing, one who mentioned in her profile that she was very much into that. I have even spent periods of up to eighteen hours straight at the computer desk working on a major project or trying to track down a computer problem. I am a "bulldog"; I most definitely am not lacking for energy. In terms of lifestyle, I do not smoke, or do any drugs. I only occasionally do a little alcohol. While I am not the best cook in the world and am a little finicky about what I eat (I don't do "health foods", I do strive to maintain reasonable balance in my diet. I guess the bottom line here is, do you folks feel that these areas may be hindering my success here? Thank you all so much in advance for your input.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 63 (view)

Do guys take kindly to a women hitting on them? Posted: 8/14/2005 3:04:48 PM
@bucsgirl: And I agree whisper is a lovely lady, any man that could turn her down oughta get his head checked for leakage! I've noticed that the streets and sidewalks are much more slippery than they used to be. I wonder whether this might be causing it? @Montreal_Guy: Bucs or Martin? Who do you think would be better?

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 60 (view)

Do guys take kindly to a women hitting on them? Posted: 8/14/2005 2:40:00 PM
@bucsgirl: Our little country here just might be ripe for a shakeup. Not too much military to get in the way. Except that people like you who are blessed with too much good old common sense never seem to wind up running countries, anywhere... OT @whisperatnight I'm again puzzled by my species. Being approached by someone like you would certainly be a dream come true in my book.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

Do guys take kindly to a women hitting on them? Posted: 8/14/2005 8:45:06 AM
@bucsgirl: As usual, supremely well said. You are right on the money.

tunesman

Joined: 7/18/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Do guys take kindly to a women hitting on them? Posted: 8/13/2005 9:26:52 PM
The nicest possible compliment you could show us. Absolutely!!! Everybody likes to know that they are attractive to someone. Nothing will happen if nobody takes that first step. Just like a four way stop intersection. One of the cars has to move, or everyone will be sitting there all day. Think I'd find myself in the same predicament, Sharbo. We do have a good excuse of being out of practice. One of those things that is buried in theory somewhere.

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