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 Author Thread: its hard find honesty
 Miss AngelA
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
its hard find honesty
Posted: 5/18/2007 5:07:09 PM
YES HE IS MUSLIM I BEEN TOLD THEY ARE FAMILY AND THEY REALLY VALUE IT.
HE WAS MY SECOND LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP
SO I AM STILL LEARNING
I JUST WANTED VENT AND GET IT MY CHEST
EVEYONE HAS DIFERENT MEANING OF SEX AND LOVE
I LEARNED FROM IT NO MATTER WHAT CULTURE OR COLOUR OR RACE THAT MOST MAN/WEMAN ACT THE SAME
I AM LEARNING ALOT AND MOVING ON
AND I JUST WANTED VENT ON HOW IT WAS BOTHERING ME AND ITS GREAT NOW I AM FEELING BETTER THAT I GOT OFF MY CHEST.
I AM ON THIS SITE TO MET NEW FRIENDS
MAYBE FIND SOMEONE WHO COLD BE THE ONE
I AM HUMAN AND I MADE SOME BAD CHOICES BUT I ALSO MADE SOME GREAT CHOICES TOO
 Miss AngelA
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
its hard find honesty
Posted: 5/18/2007 4:44:30 PM
well i beggin from the start
i met this guy on here from fort mac, but was in school here for trades, when i met him we had great start.
it didnt bother him that i had a daughter at home and son at great uncle.
for 6months it was great
until i found out he was engaged and he said he wasnt looking for relationship and he was using me so he can have many sex with many females before he got married.
he is muslim so i thought he was honest, he said he was just cuz he told me half way after that he was getting married.
when he should had told me from the start.
he said he wanted break it off the marriage
his mom was the one who set his marriage with a cousin back home in pakistan.
so stupid me believed he was going to break off the engagement
then it proof it that he only wanted me for sex when i had surgery to remove an ovrian cyst. the doc wanted no sex before surgery and 8-10 weeks after
we argued alot cuz he wanted his need met./SEX IS REALLY ABOUT INTAMANCY AND BOND. IT NOT ABOUT GENTITAL BANGING EACH OTHER.
i was still trying to heal.
it was taking long cuz i was in school, dealing with 24/7 child with ADD/ODD, homework, and housework DOING ALL IT MYSELF WITH NO HELP.
now it was getting to day of his wedding and still never talk to his mom.
i was doing alot of thinking i dont want date a married man cuz its morally wrong and too many people get hurt.i broke it off with him so nowi have respect for myself.
he still on this site and tells people he single and looking for friends but the truth he will still go out and have sex relationships
he not being honest to his wife or friends who think he single and think they could have a chance with him.
i told him someday your world will come crashing down when they find out the truth that he is married.
i told him the truth will always come out in the end and how can he live with himself knowing he hurting the person he with.
why does this bother me well its the lie and i want to prevent pain and hurt from others that he really married he think his friend wont like him if he married.i said if there true friend the will except you as a friend if you are married.
LAST BUT LEAST he says he not inlove with wife so it dont count if he having sex with others. i said watch out for stds/aids and sex not the answer to sleep around, and your mom will be very angry and both parents will disown you and friends will be mad cuz you lied to them by keeping a secret your married AND you mk will be alone and nothing i can do to help you cuz your the 1 dug your hole of mess and i cant bale you out
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
poem for my bestfriend
Posted: 7/25/2006 9:30:40 PM
True Best Friend Shaun

Just want you to know how special you are to me.

You are my best friend and that is true,

You are never alone, I am always near,

You supported me when I was in tears,

Our friendship is special place in each other heart always and forever

Who can relate to me like no other?

You have gone through so much pain and you still have time for me.

I look up too you because you are strong, and caring

For you have touched my life

I had found the perfect friend

Give to me your trust and honour,

I will give to you my faith and care.

Friendship is the kind of love when it is warm and cozy it will stay.

That is where I always found my comfort we've exchanged our hugs

Even though we are not together

I care about you

You make me happy

For you and only you I must thank you
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:15:14 PM
I PUT "the male on my life" CUZ OUT OF RESPECT I WOULDNT NAME HIM
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/19/2006 9:05:32 PM
I have few questions that I have on my mind I must really need help understanding. I have this male in my life and he thinks he always right. I admit that sometimes I can be wrong; I just wish he can admit he can be wrong. I am not the type of person that who would say I told you so. My first question is, yes I answered them so you can see my answer on my frustration then I can get my answer to my frustrations so I can get relief on it.

1 Can males and females be friends without sex? I think so if they are honest from start that it will only be friends and nothing more. We both agree on this but some reason I can find downside to males and females cannot be friends where females would sound like they only want to be friends but deep down inside they want more. An example a boyfriend who goes to bed and one of his female friends called is it wrong to have a female friend to call that late if she knew if he had girlfriend and he has to get up early for work. I just wish that other females would respect the fact guys can have girlfriends. Males and females can be friends if there respect and honesty

2 Why do females chase after guys who have gf/wife? Yes even guys can chase after someone who with a bf / hubbys? I think it because when you chase after something you cannot have, is a challenge. I think is wrong to break up a couple even if you think there not happy. If you have profile on website and you say single and you dating someone. People will think you are single and looking but if you put dating or single and not looking then it honest. If you lie on profile that you are single and looking to date when you have someone already then I would think if they lied on there status of there relationships what else did they lie about on profile.

3 What is meaning of cheating? I thought it was having sex with another person when you are in relationship. According to Male that cheating is having one night stands with someone that you have no intention have nothing more than sex or intentions of having a relationship with, when you are already in one. If you love someone truly there is no excuse to cheat. Male told me a story of his friend who slept with a girl when he being engaged to his girlfriend, his friends said it was not cheating because he said it was only one time and was plainly only sex. I said it was cheating it do not matter if only sex or not it is not right. Even if he so horny he has two hands and washroom to fix his needs, he didnt need go find some girl who can give him an STDs or AIDS or both. Either way he cheated or the Male disagreed saying his friend did not cheat.

SUMMARY I do have one true male FRIEND in my life he treats me nice and care. The male in my life cares as well but we have some disagreements on some things which I know is normal to have agreements and disagreements on things in life. He just thinks that there are no such thing that his friends that would backstab him or lie to him. Opps he had a girl lie to him about her status say she single then finds out she had a boyfriend and then she put living together on profile. Hmmm she lied on profile about status what else did she lies about. Why would a girl be so nice to a girl in front of guy but when guy leave she gets all nasty even she only just friends with the guy. In the end it is hard to find a true honest friend.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 114 (view)
 
POF Whitewater Rafting (July 22)
Posted: 7/11/2006 5:07:19 PM
i hope to go and bring my bf
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 549 (view)
 
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 7/8/2006 2:41:55 PM
i think males and females can be friends if there isnt any expections on anything more than just a friendship
if you date some1 who friends with opposite sex then its all about the trust and honesty. if the partner is honest to there friends that there only looking for friends and expect nothing else then there is trust
i have heard lame line like i cant be friends with you because your hot and its hard be friends with some1 whos hot
i say ya right im not hot
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
When One's Company...
Posted: 6/6/2006 5:18:06 PM
One isn't really the loneliest number.

In truth, we really think we're "lonely" just because we've bought into modern culture's belief that the only relationship worth valuing is a romantic one. But, in fact, it's just as easy to be lonely with a partner as it is when you're single. Who among us hasn't felt the forlorn despair of staring up at the ceiling in anguish while your partner snoozes peacefully beside you?

Let's face it; no matter your marital status sometimes it's hard to shake the feeling that you're all alone in the big, bad world. Here's how to cope.

Have a Well-Rounded Life

You will not be a more interesting person by sitting on the couch Friday night. Keep active, go to lectures or workshops, try a new hobby, take an intriguing vacation, check out that art gallery you've been meaning to, volunteer, make friends and social connections that aren't of the romantic variety.

Cherish Your Solitude

Start looking at your alone time as treasure, not torment. Enjoy the opportunity to engage in some serious soul searching or to cut loose your creativity. It's much easier to get lost in your own thoughts or strum out some new chords on the guitar if you're not being interrupted by someone.

Keep Perspective

Yes, there are life's moments that beg to be shared with someone you love. But having someone's arms around you isn't the only path to bliss. Don't miss out on the good stuff in a desperate hunt for someone (anyone!) to share it with. Spending the weekend alone is far preferable to spending it with the wrong partner.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
a poem for all
Posted: 6/4/2006 10:38:23 AM
If a man wants you, NOTHING can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
ST0P making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition or spirit to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's NOT meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before
you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as
you deserve then HECK NO, you can't "be friends".
A FRIEND WOULDN’T mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along,
then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be MAD at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.
If something bothers you, SPEAK UP.
You cannot CHANGE a man's behavior.
Change comes from WITHIN.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a QUASI-GOD.
He is a MAN, nothing MORE nothing LESS.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never BORROW someone else's man.
If he CHEATED with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
compromise is two way street.
You need TIME to HEAL between relationships...
there is nothing cute about baggage...
DEAL with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.
DATING is fun...
even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
When a man ALWAYS knows where you are, and
you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Don't FULLY commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices,
and another woman PREPARE, and a man AWARE.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
why is being single mom hard to date
Posted: 5/26/2006 8:34:25 PM
i am a single mom with a daughter, i dont regret having her, but her father only takes her when he feels like it. my family doesnt help so i am alone. i miss having adult time and going out. i spend lots of time with my daughter or my school or homework or chores i do everything myself at home sometimes she helps i need get into routine if i more time to rest and enjoy
any1 have any ideas
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 412 (view)
 
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 5/25/2006 6:18:04 PM
i think men and women can be friends as long there is agreement that cant be more cuz i think sex can ruin a good friendship. i think it when they are not attracted to each other a friendship can work
i had guys say to me i dont think we can be friends cuz you are hot and hard to be friends with someone who is hot
i do have some male friends in that friend zone
great movie see just friends
my bf trust me and trust him with his single females
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 49 (view)
 
pre-arranged marriages!
Posted: 5/3/2006 3:33:25 PM
i agree that those who are forced into arranged marriage without any choice and got trapped in a loveless, hopeless and meaningless marriage..that would be a tragedy.
it should be agreed on both that are going to be arranged to be married
divorce rates are high because many couples who marry for the wrong reasons and too soon before they really know each other
times has change, we need to change with the times. what happen 100 years ago dont mean it can apply to now
An arranged marriage is a marriage arranged by both families. The bride or the groom does not have any say in it. The religions that are involved include Muslim and Hindu. It may occur in other religions, but these are the two main religions. Once married, the bride is considered the property of her in-laws. Arranged marriages are strong in these peoples beliefs and in their past. Muslim and Hindu people believe that arranged marriages have fever divorces. They believe in marrying girls young because if not they have the chance to be with other men, so then potential husbands do not want them. The family chooses whom the girls are going to marry by their social status. Sometimes, the girls are married because their families need the money from their daughter's bride price. They could marry to settle land disputes, or to keep land in the family, they often marry cousins for this reason. Some of the believers of this practice believe the pros of arranged marriages are low divorce rates, and the bride and groom do not have to worry about the parents not approving of their choice of spouse. The cons of arranged marriage are if your dowry is not paid you could die, a brutal death. If they were arranged to marry their cousins, their children would have a four- percent chance of being abnormal. The girls may not like whom her parents have picked for her to marry, so she may commit suicide to get out of the marriage. When the bride marries she has no choice but to be a semi-servant for the family because she is now considered property of her in-laws. To secure marriage of girls they must have huge dowries, university education, or be tall and of light complexion. Fathers go far into debt providing dowries for their daughters. One form of brutal death the bride can face if her family can not pay the dowry is bride burning. This occurs when the brides clothes are lit on fire near the gas stove by her husbands or in-laws. It is made to look like an accident. There is a law under Pakistan's Muslim Family Laws Ordinance of 1961 that asks for a bride, groom, two witnesses, registration of marriage and fixing dowry. The minimum age for girls is 16 and for boys 18. People just don't abide by this law. It isn't effective because the police and Judges are male and the deaths are recorded as suicides. Divorces are limited. The only way they can get them is if their husbands are impotent, suffering from severe diseases, the husbands marriage to another women without the permission of the union council, his failure to provide her maintenance or her subjection by him to different forms of violence. Changes in attitudes are starting to occur in Pakistan because the women are now committing more crimes due to marital conditions. Woman's groups in India are being backed by lawyer's who are offering free service. As part of an on-going education campaign, a two-month-long street theatre was organized to deal with social issues such as gender empowerment.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Oral after sex
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:37:03 PM
i agree hygene should be good and no stds or open sores
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 141 (view)
 
Oral after sex
Posted: 4/26/2006 10:20:44 AM
hey not evey1 into oral
it could be for religion
taste
missunderstanding on the information
the risk of inbarssing cuz it there first
my thought on it
its not for every1
i dont knock if if you like
but shouldnt diss others who tried it and didnt like
i admite i tried it dont like taste i was sooooooooooo inbarseed cuz i threw up on his penis
there are guys who like bj but wont give to other partner that isnt fair
i believe there other stuff a couble can do to spice up there sex life and dont need to do the norm of oral or anal or intercourse there so much to explore and try that is sexy or exciting
for example
role play
tell each other fantesy
explore each body with lotions and oils even body paint ie chocolate
try sex in diferent places
just use your mind
sex is not a chore it a way to bond with you other half
i love my bf and satisfied and happy

 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 43 (view)
 
is she cheating on me?
Posted: 12/25/2005 2:20:28 PM
Sexual Boundaries

In nearly every sexual relationship, one partner is more sexually stimulated than the other. Couples tend to be focused on performing rather than experiencing. Give and take, thoughtfulness, kindness, communication, and humor can all strengthen the intimacy of the relationship.

Differences between men and women:

· Men have a surge of testosterone in the morning; women have a hormonal surge in the afternoon.

· After a man ejaculates, a hormone is released that makes him sleepy; at the same time, a woman often wakes up. This is when she wants to be held and talked to. She feels abandoned if he goes to sleep.

· Women need to feel close emotionally in order to feel sexual; men have sex to feel emotionally close.

· A man will get more value in the long run if he is patient and thoughtful of his woman, and gives her time to for an emotional connection before making any sexual moves. A woman will find herself more involved with a man if she lets him have some times of pure sexual abandon.

· Women violate their own boundaries when they don’t speak up about their needs, or when they endure a sexual activity that they’re not interested in. Over time she is bound to lose interest in sex.

Sexual abuse:

· 38% of adult women were sexually abused as children.

· Harm done to us sexually affects us for life. We can heal much of the damage, but it may still influence our instinctive reactions to sexual situations.

· A third of abused children are victimized by older children or siblings.

· Only 5% of abusers are strangers and males are more likely to molest than females.

· Parents must be careful about leaving younger children in the care of older male children who are at the age where they have sexual stirrings or curiosity. Children need to have their boundaries protected because if they are raised and not sexually harmed they will have less damage to overcome in future relationships.

· Children need to be taught to say no to anyone who touches or approaches them inappropriately. This would mean teaching young men to respect women, to accept no for an answer, and to care for others.


Healthy Sexual Boundaries
· Women: Protect your boundary of emotional safety by giving a relationship time so you both let yourself be known, before jumping into the sack.

· Say no if a sexual experience is causing us pain or too much risk, either physically or emotionally.

· Respect ‘no’ the instant we hear it. It can be frustrating to stop, but to continue past a ‘no’ destroys the other person’s sexual safety with you.

· Take responsibility for your own pleasure by giving guidance with words or gestures. “An investment of kindness, patience, and care can ultimately bring you a wonderfully responsive sexual partner.”

Signs Of Cheating
When you think that your spouse is having an affair, you begin looking for different signs of cheating. The trouble is, what is innocent behavior and what is really a sign that something is going on? Below is some information that can help you decipher what to look for if you think your spouse if having an affair. While this article was written for both men and women, most of the clues can help you decide what is going on.

46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair
by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach

Some of these signs of cheating are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife.

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a
vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know
about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife
or girlfriend you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and
returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible
to love more than one person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the
pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal
time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially
after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and
had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more
than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You
see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account
drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy"
and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your
voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the
home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed

44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale signs of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question
in the first place.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:36:51 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have males as friends and no female friends kinda fishy same as male only have females as friends and no males makes me wander there should be a balance in friends of male and female mixture
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:36:01 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have males as friends and no female friends kinda fishy same as male only have females as friends and no males makes me wander there should be a balance in friends of male and female mixture
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:35:53 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have males as friends and no female friends kinda fishy same as male only have females as friends and no males makes me wander there should be a balance in friends of male and
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:35:46 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have males as friends and no female friends kinda fishy same as male only have females as friends and no males makes me wander there should be a balance in friends of
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:35:41 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have males as friends and no female friends kinda fishy same as male only have females as friends and no males makes me wander there should be a balance
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:34:53 PM
What Relationship Means to me I decided to write about my opinion first on paper as rough draft before I type it, on what a relationship means to me. I usually just type my thoughts on stuff on the computer. I feel like Carrie on Sex in the City, how she writes about her thoughts and opinions on relationships.
I wander what happen to relationships did it just vanished. Why do we have to believe that relationships do not work at all? We think it takes to much time and work, so we just want easy way out with no strings. I think relationships do not have been taken serious, but at the same time should not be taken too lightly. It should be a balance of both of them, and then it does not seem like so much work. The couple should work together as team, and help each other out. I know there are people who are out there they assume if there in a relationship that they do nothing to make it work. In my opinion when a person grew in a home were there parents had healthy relationships, they can have one. We learn off our parents and other, like our siblings in addition, on how we handle our relationships. Why do we think just because we get out or have had past relationships that were bad, we assume that future ones will go terrible? It like this quote “If we have one bad apple in the barrel it will spoil the rest”? Something close to it, but I think we not compare or assume all are bad. We assume if had one bad mate that all are alike the others. I think most people are common in away but we have our own trait for are personality. We can assume that everyone is the same

Are we just to busy or is it that horrible to be in a relationship that it makes it hard to be in involved. If we had learn from our past relationships on why it did not work out then we repeat again. So many of us never take the time to think “Okay” and analyzes why it ended. Instead, we tried to forget it and move on. Then we never learn how we can improve for next. “Do not settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you cannot live without” I think people tend to settle who they can live with then someone that cannot live with out. I think when people who in love with someone, we inspired to do remarkable things to move heaven and earth to be with other true mate. I think we have a true love to admire and hope to have in our own lives. If we treated our selves with more respect ands value, we can have one true love that we deserve.

My thoughts on friends and benefits is a grey area there no right or wrong answer on havening it. It is not for everyone it may work for one and may not work for others. I have mixed singles on that, part of me thinks I can have found me true love or left hanging with my heart crushed. It is not for everyone, I cannot stress that enough were it can be miss leading, mind playing, hurtful, were it can destroy a friendship. Then why are we willing to risk a friendship for pleasures were can take care of our own needs. We should not have depend on others to relieve our tension I think it is very selfish. Here is a true story where I seen it not works. I had a friend I will call her Misty, she met a male I will call him Ted, her boy toy, because she was not ready for a boyfriend like a full-blown relationship. I noticed that Misty started to like her boy toy more. Misty would tell me she is falling in love with him and was scared to get hurt. I said talk to Ted before it is too late. Misty had a talk with him about wanted to be in a relationship. Ted says no, I think we should stop doing this. Misty found out there was another female he wanted as a girlfriend, not to play with as a friend with benefit. Misty found out who the other female was and told her about Ted, and what they were doing. She was mad and tried to sabotage, so Ted will not ask the other female out. The other female who I will call her Tracy said she knew and told her that Ted is over you, he wants a real girlfriend not a toy. Misty back off and in the end both her and Ted do not talk anymore. In the way, we are fooling ourselves when we have sex with a friend. It is not the answer to a no- strings relationship problem. It can be a waste of time and stressful. If you think about sex involves feelings, unless you are cold with no heart or a robot. It is impossible to turn off feelings on and off. What I am trying to say is a friend with benefits it should be fun and going lead somewhere into a relationship, or it can be nothing but a waste of time. It is rare if that works between friends that lead into more. I think if the two friends thought through before it should happen, cause you can not control others feelings or thoughts or emotions if they want more or nothing. It takes risks and play with emotions.

I really hate this line “I am sorry I am not looking for a relationship, I just got out of one and I am looking for someone to have just fun with”. I say “OKAY” define fun cause my fun can be different then yours. I really hate it because after they used that excuse “I just got out of a relationship” line, then a couple weeks or a month later, they are dating someone. Why not be honest and blunt on what you really mean on that word fun, use what you mean that is “SEX” not fun. They got tired of hearing the word “NO”, so they fake being in a relationship because they just want sex they figure that is how they can get it and they know that’s what she wanted to hear. I think am I ever good enough for a person to be as a girlfriend that they only see me as toy to use. A true friend would value and respect then play with someone heart and mind. Be honest to your self is if you do not want your heart or mind play with then do not play with others. I believe hanging out is not dating another excuses to use someone to play with for sex. I also think it is very disrespectful to ask someone just for sex and rude to ask, when you can pleasure your self you should not depend on others to fix your needs. It is very selfish to ask others or depend on others to fix your problem on needing sex.

What makes a bad relationship? Well, I think we find a wrong person, or we rush into a relationship after getting out of one. We need to learn from the past ones before we can move into a new one. Why I say that, so we can learn from our mistakes that is made in it and why the relationship ended. We tend to keep making the same mistakes repeatedly so we get the impression that all relationships are bad. To be able to move on to a healthy relationship is to learn from the past and to put a closer on it. Then after you get out of bad one is not to get into another one, I suggest is to take a break and put closer and then get to know yourself. There are many ways to put a closer on past relationships, one write about it, two is to talk about to someone or professional, three is your choice on how you really handle it, just as long it was handle and in propertied way. It is important to put a closer on it, in order to move on, give it time enjoy your self, hang out with friends and find a hobby. It is also important that you love your self it will be hard to love others, if you do not. To have healthy relationship is to have good communications, trust, honest, support, more of the basic needs before you can have the wants like sex that most men want in a relationship. Without the needs met, it will lack in the wants. The communication is important and the ability to listen is very good to have, if we lack in this we will lack in others stuff that needed in it. We are not haunted or cursed in havening a nasty relationships just caused we had some. We just need to work on communication and needs so it can work. When a couple get together, they should not assume what the other person wants or needs, and it not hard work to make relationship to work. It takes time, patients, can be very fun, and very rewarding in the end.

My summary is I do not be “kind of” or “sort of” dating because there no such thing as either, you are or not. Please do not say I am only looking for fun, if you value my friendship you would not ask me for sex. When I mean hang out just means friends and nothing more. I do not want spend my time, feelings, and energy on someone where not going anywhere. I want to be in a healthy relationship, where I can see again, to cuddle, to laugh, and to enjoy life like what it meant to be. I do not want to be stress over a male that just wants me for only sex. I want to be pure and clean from aids or STDs for a stable boyfriend. I want to show my true feelings, and demonstrate that I am trust worthy, loveable and can communicate. I will leave you with my motto and a quote. “If you do not want done to you, then do not do it to others”. “Do not settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you cannot live without”. In the end we are worthy and deserving a healthy happy relationship because there not all bad.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:34:44 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have males as friends and no female friends kinda
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:34:18 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example females who only have
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:34:12 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also would not trust a person if they only have 1 kind sex friend for example
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:33:30 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
i also
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:32:50 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Can the Opposite sex really be friends?
Posted: 12/20/2005 9:31:55 PM
i wouldnt go there
I AM A FEMALE AND I PLAY THOSE SORTS OF GAMES
MAYBE JUST NOT ASKING THE RIGHT ONES
anyhow of course guys be more fun
yes it can happen where opposites can be friends it just depends on who can do that some people cant be friends with the opposite sex its really up to you and choices you make
if you value a friend then dont ask for sex its wrong
respect a friend and do not ask
this only my opinion
i know i could not sleep with friend so much things can go bad and in the end you can lose a friend
so best stay friends and value there other quality
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Can men and women be friends without sex?
Posted: 9/14/2005 7:38:53 PM
Men and women can't be just friends. Some blame the natural sexual tension that exisits between men and women. Still others point to the jealously which plagues rational people, when your mate befriends someone of the oppsite sex.

Lets face it most of us start thinking those lil green envious thoughts when our beloved is spending most of their time hanging out with the opposite sex, and still others boil it down to the inherent differences between the sexes.Which brings us to this point of simply men and women just can't be friends, especially when they are attached or dating someone .Right?

Well the experts and I say wrong!!! The age old belief from a completely different and biased era where the women stayed home and the men were the main and only providers, and the only way men and women were supposed to be around each other was purely for romantic interludes.
Well that era is long dead and our ways of thinking on this topic seriously need to change.
I mean we can work with each other,be in group social settings with each other, and have sports interests.This nice and refreshing cultural shift is begining to put forth a whole new message.
Even though it can be tricky at times, men and women can successfully be close friends without any sexual innuendos being involved, and if you are one of those that think not then you really need to do some serious rethinking.

On a whole, society has long signaled out romance as the ever typical male/female relationship, because it helps us to procreate. The cross-sex friendship , has been trivalized or ignored. We have rules for how to appropriately act in such romantic relationships, and also have rules for same -sex friendships.

However ther are very few platonic male-female friendships today in our culture.This gives us a huge loss to even define these relationships.
I blame part of this on the media and hollywood, due to the simple fact they portray that sex always comes between men and women making true friendship next to nearly impossible.
And the media (tv) doesn't help either.
I mean almost everytime you see a male-female friendship on tv, it always ends up being a romantic relationship.
Take Chandler and Monica off of "friends" for instance, they started out as friends, but then all of a sudden they are having sex, and in a relationship.
It is these simplistic cultural images that makes this hard to overcome, and not be biased about, and it's no wonder we always expect that men and women are always on the road to romance.

Experts and councellors did a poll from 150 men and women on what they liked and disliked about their cross-sex friendships.Topping the womens dislike list was the sexual tension factor. And well the men mostly replied that sexual attraction was their main motive for initiating a friendship, and also these men(like most) believe it could even strengthen a friendship.
So on an average about 62% of men and women said that sexual tension was the main factor in their cross-sex friendships.

Friendship should be a natural pairing of equals. But in our culture where men have always been more equal then women, male dominance and power is baggage that both sexes are likely to bring to any type of a relationship.

Women tend to subconsciously adopt a submissive role in these types of friendships, however this is changing as society is beginning to wake up, so to speak, and treat both genders with more equality.

Society may not entirely be ready for friendships between the genders, with no sexual innuendo's.
Naturally and it's happened to me, people with close friends of the opposite sex are often bothered with nudging,winking, skeptisim: (one of my fav age ol questions I usually get and it makes me smile is) Are you guys really just friends?... Lols of course we are, I mean if we weren't there'd be a whole new level of umm interaction between us, I usually reply.LOLs
This is especially true in the older adults who grew up in a biased society where men and women were naturally "off limits" to each other untill they were wed.

Has people develop serious relationships or even get married, making and maintaining cross-sex friendships gets increasingly harder. Some will say bah it's just because the person your in a relationship with is having insecurity issues. Well I beg to differ even people, the most ever sure and secure types and couples don't want their girlfriends / boyfriends to be establishing a new friendship with the opposite sex, even more so if that person is alarmingly attractive.
And in the older generations cross-sex friendships numbers are even more dwindled.In a poll only 2% of the friendships elderly women have are with men.

Menhave rated cross-sex friendships as being higher in overall quality, and nurturing then their same sex friendships.
This is simply due to the fact that men canrelate and talk to women,which isn't so when they are with their buddies. And women rated their same sex friendships higher on all these same counts.
Women expect more emoitinal benefits from friendship then men , so is it any wonder why we has women are easily disappointed when we don't get them.

personally speaking from a womans perspective , all tha sharing in a female - female friendship does get exhausting. Hence why we need men every once in a while for just friends. With men we joke and banter without any of the emoitional issues that we have to worry about with our girlfriends.
Men just don't get sensitive about things that women do and besides being friends with a male also gives us extreme clarity and insight on how and what men really think.

Overall in reality sex isn't always on the agenda. I mean even friends who are attracted to each other recognize that certain qualities they tolerate in their friendship just wouldn't work in a more serious relationship.And after years of considering someone as a friend, it becomes harder to see a cross-sex friend as a romantic relationship possibility.

On a final note though , whatever the challenges of male-female friendship in order to succeed as friends , but the genders must be open and honest communicate exactly what their relationship will mean, and how they will deal with it and establish such appropriate boundaries.
Ciommunication with your mate and your friend is the overall key to keep the lil green eyed monster called jealously at bay.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Military Men
Posted: 8/11/2005 11:44:30 AM
i am into military i am joining the military
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Wing Nights in Edmonton
Posted: 8/9/2005 5:30:08 PM
ill be there just need where it is
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
long distance romances
Posted: 8/9/2005 5:28:55 PM
i think long distance is ok to adegree if couple agrees on monogomy and trust and communitcation. where they both want same thing and live efentionally live together in same city.so if this guy married or not he is the 1 who knows why he hasnt seen her. we cant judge him or assume we only hear her side and not his there more then her story. i had 1 long distance i met guy in pei off the net from yahoo. i was from edm ab. he was nice caring guy. he wasnt married was shy met me, keept puting off untill i went to pei met him. who i thought. i moved there. he didnt help with rent nor bills nor food. all he sat on fat ass in front comp. i wish i knew b4 i made mistake he was going just use me. i learned alot from that. now i am more aware handle dating and what to do.
12 Signs He's Cheating on You
Yes, men really are this predictable. If a man cheats on his wife, there is little doubt that he will display a series of predictable behaviors. Ladies, don't be a fool. Learn the signs of infidelity so you can protect your relationship.
Infidelity expert and New York therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of "Make Up, Don't Break Up," told the Toronto Sun the 12 signs of cheating man:
1. He picks fights with you.
2. He acts unappreciated.
3. He becomes critical and finds fault with you.
4. He becomes distant and uncommunicative.
5. He changes his image or style, such as losing weight or buying new clothing.
6. He tells you there is something wrong with you and says you need to seek professional help.
7. He changes his behavior when it comes to money.
8. He changes his sexual behavior, including patterns, positions and frequency.
9. He buys you unexpected gifts and does good deeds, such as chores around the house or helping more with the children.
10. He has absences that he cannot explain.
11. There are hang-ups on your home phone.
12. He leaves earlier for work and arrives home later.
The statistics are cruel and heartbreaking. Some 35 percent of married men cheat on their wives, although Weil insists the number is closer to 70 percent of men. She also says that one partner has cheated in 80 percent of all marriages. So beware if he ever says this to you, which is typically the opening line of a cheating husband: "I would never cheat on you." If you hear this, you'll know instantly he's having an affair.
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Wing Nights in Edmonton
Posted: 8/9/2005 5:09:56 PM
sounds like fun i am kinda new to edm lived here since mar 24 2003 be awsome met new people
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
long distance romances
Posted: 8/7/2005 12:23:27 PM
i met guys like that who i assumed married wasnt married was just scared of rejection.
dont assume he married i still think its him knows why he hasnt met
 SniperAisha
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
long distance romances
Posted: 8/1/2005 11:27:24 AM
hey, we dont know why he dont met up. we cant read his mind. he could been scared or thought hey if she met me would she ditch me. we can assum he married, shy, or whatever. put it is he that really knows.
 
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