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Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 86 (view)

girlfriends of widowers Posted: 6/18/2012 11:28:47 AM
Bluejeanlady06 - I'm going through a lot of the same issues. I would love to email off the forums. We could maybe help each other. Please email me if you would like.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Doesn't want marriage Posted: 6/18/2012 7:24:41 AM
You've said that she feels that marriage is too easy to get out of - thus her lack of belief. Well, if it's so easy to get out of, why not get married simply because YOU want to? If it means nothing to her, it wouldn't be that big of a deal to do it for you - the man she loves.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Would you want to know? Posted: 5/8/2012 11:33:21 AM
Of course I would want to know! I found out, just last night, that my steady is cheating. I wish I would have known sooner, regardless of the source.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Legality of sending pics Posted: 5/5/2012 10:15:14 PM
But what If someone sends you, an adult, an unsolicited porn shot? Is the sender breaking the law?

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

Did someone make a mountain out of a mole hill? Posted: 5/5/2012 8:11:51 AM
talk to her, not text. Explain that you're not one of those guys that shares intimate information on purpose. She was trying to be 'cool' with it, but on reflection she was embarrassed and maybe, ashamed. Try to convince her that you are trustworthy and this was just a simple mistake. She wants to believe you.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Is this his way of breaking it off? Posted: 3/18/2012 1:28:35 PM
Hun, you're borrowing trouble. Chill out and give him some time. There could be a million reasons.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Still burnt around the edges. Posted: 3/16/2012 8:43:25 PM
We can all get hurt when dating, and unfortunately, that's the part we remember. How about the fun of meeting that special someone? All the good and highly romantic stuff of falling in love? I prefer to remember all those good feelings and head for that instead of running from the hurt.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Way Too Much Posted: 3/16/2012 8:39:02 PM
Meems919 What a great answer! You are a wise woman. Everyone - go back and read her post. She shows class and consideration.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 55 (view)

Has anyone ever been in a relationship with a Hoarder? Posted: 3/11/2012 9:00:44 PM
Vanilli I read with concern your request for help. I don't know much about hoarding or any psychological illness. I wonder if, since you no longer have money for things such as a doctor appointment, could you qualify for some community help? Your behavior is threatening your current relationships and even your future financial position. Do you want to be a burden on those you love? Please Please get some help! Perhaps you could sell some of your items to pay for help? Try asking a doctor if they know of any services or government agencies that could help you. Other than that, how about using your interest to earn money, instead of spending it? Could you do like my little pre-schooler? He would buy things from garage sales and resell them sitting at his little tike plastic table on the corner. lol You know what they say "One mans' junk is another mans' treasure". Get into the resale business. Best wishes to you Vanilli!

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Bringing Dad home to live with me Posted: 3/3/2012 7:22:30 PM
Here's a funny update: A gentleman who is in the military came to get me for a date. Dad was pleased to meet him to share 'war' stories. Of course, they were different wars! Dad had a great time and my date was very respectful of this old, confused vet. Very cool! My date then arranged for my Dad to go to the range to shoot some unique weapons. I have a picture of my Dad sitting in his walker with a 2x4 across the handles to help support his arms. It was safe - I promise! And it was something Dad will remember and talk about for a long time! Thanks for all the support you formites have given me. I've recieved some personal emails that have made my day as well as some pertinent advice. Thanks for the encouragement and the realistic perspectives.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 49 (view)

Chivalry Posted: 2/20/2012 2:38:06 PM
Ladies - when you are going into a place that has a line, such as a fast food place, and a guy is kind enough to open the door for you - please return the favor by allowing him in front of you in the line, where he would have been if he hadn't stopped to hold the door for you.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Bringing Dad home to live with me Posted: 1/26/2012 1:30:02 PM
There have been some wonderful posts and I appreciate all of them. It's been nice to hear the good and bad of other people's experiences. It really has helped! And the compliments have been an unexpected surprise. Thank you. Many people have stated that 'if a man isn't interested because of my situation, he isn't worth having'. I find that a bit harsh. At my age I wouldn't want to take on little kids and I don't feel that it's too harsh for a man to not want to take on my Dad. When this subject came up, my Dad was so proud to show me the insurance policy he's been paying on for years and years. He was sure that he had taken care of this situation. Unfortunately, it's a policy for recovery care - like a heart attack - instead of long term care. Point is, please look into long term care insurance for yourselves! Thanks again!

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 20 (view)

Bringing Dad home to live with me Posted: 1/24/2012 7:33:48 AM
I'm not a hero for doing this. As some have said, it's becoming more and more common. It's simply pay back time. Even so, I'm kicking and fighting. I went from my fathers house to my husbands and that lasted for 31 years. Now I'm discovering being alone. It's kinda fun! No fighting over the remote, doing what I want when I want, being free! Oh well . . . so be it.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Bringing Dad home to live with me Posted: 1/24/2012 7:13:42 AM
Thank you to all of you who responded. There were some words of hope as well as caution. I'll take it all under advisement. I have to admit, there's a part of me that's excited about having him in my life again. We were always close, so it will be bitter-sweet to be with him now. It's odd to now be the parent in the relationship. Three of you posted that a similar situation was a strain on your personal relationships. So there's the silver lining - I don't have a personal relationship to be strained! lol Thanks again and have a good day!

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Bringing Dad home to live with me Posted: 1/23/2012 8:40:04 PM
I have already decided to do this, but I'd like to know what the ramifications will be. My Dad can't live on his own anymore. He doesn't have the resources for Assisted Living. It's time for me to bring him home to live with me. I will have outside assistance and I won't have to be there all the time. He's still able to take care of himself most of the time. He has dementia and high levels of pain. My question is, how will this impact dating and forming a long-term relationship? This qualifies as a lot of baggage. How many of you" over 45's" would want to take something like this on, with a person you are dating?

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

She's got issues, but I love her anyway... Posted: 1/22/2012 1:05:32 PM
Everyone has issues. The question is whether you're willing to deal with hers. You can only be who you are. Then it's up to her. She'll have to make her own choice as to whether it's good enough. For some odd reason, I have this idea that this may turn into a recurring theme that she uses to get positive attention from you. I doubt that it will be intentional - more instinctive when she needs reassurance or . . . ? I've heard it said that once an addict, always an addict. How do you feel about living with that sword over your head? Be careful about falling for that little guy. The relationship sounds questionable enough that you could end up loosing them both.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

But I'm a Doctor! Posted: 1/21/2012 10:01:28 AM
I'm surprised at all the comments that say that a doctor wouldn't behave like that. Why not? Doctors can be jerks, too. And have their hang ups and perversions. I have Docs in my family, so to me, they're just as human as anyone else and FAR FAR from Demi-Gods.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Cheater..... Posted: 1/16/2012 3:59:46 PM
I don't understand all the boo hooing i hear about people in sexless marriages. Ya it sucks, but being single and not sleeping around, i'm not getting any sex, either. It would be hard to be around forbidden fruit, as it were, and you have my sympathy for that. But regardless, man up. Either stay within the promises you made or go. And quit belly aching about the lack of sex.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

I talk in my sleep.. amongst other things... Posted: 1/11/2012 10:43:24 AM
How about if you keep your phone on, with the alarm and all, but put it FAR across the room so that you'll have to make some major movement that might wake you up? But since you walk in your sleep, that might not help too much. My Dad was in the military and sleep walked. One time, the genius tied a rope to his ankle so he couldn't walk to far away. It was a 50' rope and the cliff was 45' feet away. Talk about a rude awakening! btw - that's my dad in my photo. He's my Hero!

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 23 (view)

Ex coming to visit / new relationship - best way to deal with it? Posted: 1/11/2012 6:35:44 AM
First off, let me apologize for the rudeness of some of my fellow posters. Geez. It would be nice if they at least READ your post! Anyway, as you've seen, it seems to be generally considered a bad idea. I am friends with my ex's but I've found that to be rare. It's sad that a relationship that was ALMOST the one, can't even remain as a friends, but that appears to be what society dictates. Tread careful. The current guy is the one that matters. Best of luck.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Dating a Mormon girl??? Posted: 1/10/2012 2:38:28 PM
backhome2901, sure. Send me a message. My profile is hidden. Will you still be able to message me?

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Dating a Mormon girl??? Posted: 1/9/2012 8:33:15 AM
I am a member of the Mormon church, although at this point in my life, that's a technicality. Feel free to ask her any questions you like. We are raised to be 'missionaries', to share 'the gospel'. As such, we have no hesitations in answering your questions. That being said, we will try to 'convert' you, especially if we love you. How do you feel about that? It would be very hard for a girl to marry outside of the faith because she would feel that she was giving up an 'eternal' family. You don't have to agree with that. Just realize that is the way we are raised. So she would likely always want you to join the church, even if she didn't push you. If she stayed in the faith, she WOULD have problems with you drinking coffee, alcohol, smoking, swearing, etc. in front of the kids. How could she teach the kids that this is wrong and then have Daddy doing it? Very difficult. But this all assumes that she is active in her faith with a STRONG testimony, not just going through the motions. Ask her. In the mean time, please feel free to ask me any other questions you may have.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

What should I do with this girl? Posted: 1/6/2012 9:28:20 AM
Although I wouldn't have worded it quite that way, I agree with Petygrace80. It could be hormones kiddo. Give her some space and see if she becomes herself again. If it is PMS, consider if you can deal with this for many many years to come . . .

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 128 (view)

Women in heels... Posted: 12/25/2011 7:34:09 PM
I'm a tall lady with similar issues. It's not that HE minds - I do. How do you put your head on his shoulder when standing in line at the movie? Where do you rest your arms when dancing? When he has to bend his arm to hold my hand, I feel like I'm walking with a child. The issues are all mine. I'm trying to not let it matter. It's a silly problem. But it's still odd to me.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

A child in a man's body or controlling? Posted: 12/6/2011 8:38:37 AM
I'm sorry for your loss.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 53 (view)

duped by the years old head shot Posted: 12/3/2011 11:16:32 AM
Pingshooter: Thank you for your compassionate response. You are a gentleman.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

No to Third Date & Break Up Posted: 12/3/2011 11:06:31 AM
You must tell her. No question. But not in person. You meet, expecting a pleasant time with someone you are learning to care about. Then you get told that it's over. You have to try to be polite and classy while trying to remember how to breathe. Tell her, nicely, but not in person.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 159 (view)

money inside her bra Posted: 12/1/2011 4:45:43 PM
One time I had on a black top and was in a somewhat dark location. My friend got a shocked look on her face. I asked her what was up and she pointed to the light coming from inside my bra. Oops! thanks goodness it was just a friend who saw!

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 186 (view)

Physically abused for the first time Posted: 10/24/2011 8:21:01 PM
I HAVE to respond to this. A great guy I was involved with turned psycho one night. I don't have time (or desire) to go into the details. I was crying to my brother about it all and he was as baffled by the behavior as I. Then my brother - the doctor - recalled that my guy had recently started some new medication. Yep. It was the meds. He switched prescriptions and we've never had a repeat. That was several years ago. Just check to be sure before you throw away your relationship.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 5 (view)

Insecurity vs. selfishness Posted: 10/15/2011 9:07:11 PM
So you're giving up a relationship with a loving woman, who in every other respect is great, over magazines? You're assuming that her hangups will show in other areas - but you don't know. To please this loving woman you have to give up - pieces of paper?

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

Am I writing people off too soon? Posted: 10/7/2011 8:05:12 AM
Perhaps what's more important than the picture is how this guy won't respect your request. He blows you off as if what you want/need is inconsequential. I have to wonder if he will be like that about other - more important things.

Joined: 3/18/2008

Msg: 80 (view)

How do you pick out the good ones? Posted: 9/23/2011 6:56:32 PM
Women complain that men only want them for sex, while men complain that women only want them for money. Yet women wear low cut tops and clingy clothes and guys, inevitably, talk about how successful they are i.e. money. Quit fighting the natural gender wiring and just accept it. A woman has a hard time moving furniture and a guy doesn't know how to express himself. It's the same thing. Men want a beautiful woman to whom they are sexually attractive to while women want security. It goes back to our primitive wiring. Men want to reproduce and women want to be secure while producing. Just accept it and quit making it an evil thing.

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