Does life really begin at 40?? chat & forums.

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Thread: Does life really begin at 40??

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Does life really begin at 40?? Posted: 11/5/2009 8:40:39 PM
yes, the middle of life begins at around forty... I can attest to this first-hand seeing as I'm still on the right side of the grass (yay me).

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Still friends? Should they be? Posted: 11/5/2009 8:38:31 PM
still friends? like, oh my god, fer sure!! bffs forever dude!! have a nice day. click.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 41 (view)

Our 15 year long relationship ends and he meets someone on here and starts a family in 9 MONTHS! Posted: 11/5/2009 5:33:35 AM
This happens a lot with relationships that start young and last long... one day one or the other (or both) people realise they've changed and are still in it because it's there, and it's comfortable. Truth probably is that the op felt and knew it wasn't working but found it difficult to walk away from a person she has grown up with (17 yrs of age ... the bonds are pretty strong when made at that age) ... the same goes for him. Now that all this has happened, though, it's time for her to move on in my opinion and stop wondering about how his new life is going. Time to get a move on with her own. No matter how strong or deep a bond was, when things change like this and moreso when a family has been started, how can one possibly continue to harp on it? It's unhealthy and leads nowhere. move on girl. life sometimes sucks but it doesn't stop to wait for us to get over the things it deals out. and one day you'll wake up at 50 wondering why you didn't just treat yourself right without anyone elses help. harsh? maybe... but it's not meant to be. it's just the way it is.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 142 (view)

Wouldn't it be great... Posted: 11/1/2009 12:53:11 PM
wouldn't it be great if we could live life backwards. Born 100 only to get younger and younger... we knew then what we know now... people didn't abuse anyone in any way... all the shoes I ever wanted to buy came in my size and were the right price...

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

How far before you cross the line? Posted: 11/1/2009 12:42:51 PM
the line = hiding the fact that YOU want to cheat from not only the person who thinks you are with them, but also from yourself. Beyond that the boundaries differ from relationship to relationship. good luck with the soul-searching.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 164 (view)

COWARD ! - The Ignoring Game Posted: 11/1/2009 12:39:39 PM
I remember that treatment... when I was 19. Thank god I don't get it anymore. I don't "get" it, nor do I "get it" ... Get it? lol... Five minutes into being ignored I've usually found something different to do with myself. ..hey? where did everybody go???

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 152 (view)

how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Posted: 11/1/2009 12:35:53 PM
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time... cheeky answer: because men initiate it 20% of the time? But mostly it's because when it comes to break-ups 80% of guys would rather pull their own teeth out while watching sex in the city re-run marathons than be the ones to break up with a girl. They figure it's easier to treat her like crap until she caves and does it herself. It works great. p.s. LOL@ percentages...... it's not 79% or 63% ... not even 69% or 90% .... who woulda thunk!! Who comes up with these numbers anyway...

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 1036 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 10/15/2009 2:31:11 PM
my guy is HOT .. why the hell can't my friends see it? LOL... And I also have to admit that I fire him up regularly. He always rises to the occasion... God bless him. my friends don't have a clue.... shaking head :P

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

Went on a double date with my ex husband last night. Crazy? Posted: 10/15/2009 2:24:31 PM
Crazy doesn't have to be a bad word. does it? Sure its crazy. In today's society there is little that is sane. Ever watch tv? I just saw a miss plastic pageant commercial... and then there's the couple that popped out eight kids and.... but I digress... imo, it's one crazy risk you are taking, op; one that cost both of you emotionally, and financially. But, so what? ... emotions and money both come and go. Maybe you needed the time apart to fall back into like with one another. Shame it didn't happen in the separation phase. Bottom line, do what's best for you. and rhetoric question or not, it was the only thing up for discussion in this forum. I wouldn't recommend going through a full separation and divorce to anyone, if they still have unresolved feelings and likely to start seeing each other again. But heck, maybe I'm the crazy one. ;) have a good one.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 60 (view)

What is the Worst Thing You Experienced after a Long Term Breakup? Posted: 10/15/2009 2:02:50 PM
The worse things I experienced after a long-term break-up was pining for the special edition scrabble he kept... and the feelings of horror that I'd have to put myself 'out there' again... I was suddenly 'available' and it felt odd. ...so I eventually bought another scrabble board, and didn't bother thinking about dating for a while. it was when I stopped thinking so much (thinking sucks) that things finally fell back into place. oh, and I also hated, hated when my girlfriends rah-rah-ed about how men sucked, thinking that would help me. sigh ... those men-bashing sessions, and hearing one too many bad stories just brought me down more so I stopped going out with them for a while and just focused on doing things on my own.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

Why are we here? Posted: 10/12/2009 2:33:31 PM
why are we here... if a man fell in a forest, but you weren't there to hear him, would he make a sound? sorry, that's all I got...

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Resources men and women bring to relationships Posted: 10/12/2009 1:22:56 PM
remember kindergarten cop? the kid in the classroom? resources: boys have a p.... and girls have a v....... ;) Enjoy!!

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Went on a double date with my ex husband last night. Crazy? Posted: 10/12/2009 1:21:29 PM
Went on a double date with my ex husband last night. Crazy? Yes. Suggesting that others should try it is even crazier.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 114 (view)

Should I Be Able to Accept My Husband Smoking Pot? Posted: 10/12/2009 12:59:47 PM
msg 1... Anyone can go on about what's right and wrong. Bottom line is that only the two of you know what you've got yourselves into. What can I say... As a complete stranger with only your story to go on, it seems you have two choices: If you can accept him, do so. If you can't, don't. Decide, and move on with your life.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Why This Holy Terror of I Love You? Posted: 10/12/2009 9:32:36 AM
I can't explain it. Because I love you.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 214 (view)

Best question ever asked. Posted: 10/12/2009 8:49:49 AM
I lived in Europe for ten years and the women definitely taught me a few things... I watched and learned. They are queens of entitlement, but the men don't have a clue. Now that is a skill. moua ha ha....

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 101 (view)

She asked for money at the end of the date! Posted: 9/25/2009 1:55:06 PM
msg 1: Is there a name for this? flake?

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 196 (view)

Toilet seat up or down- Relationship downfall? Posted: 9/16/2009 11:34:03 AM
msg 1 if the position of a toilet seat cover is the deciding factor on whether to make or break a relationship .... I dunno, good luck with that.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 66 (view)

Not a touchy feely person Posted: 9/16/2009 11:11:09 AM
(msg 64) Actually I was hugged way too much as a kid and I find it stifling to this day when my mom bee-lines it to me to kiss and smother me (usually the kiss lands in my ear... arggh!!) So there goes that theory... at least as it applies to me. And yes, I know I should be thankful and I am. She's a great lady, my mom. Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it though... I am affectionate with people I know. A hug good-bye is within my comfort zone with people I met and have known for just an hour or so. Anything beyond that ..nuh-uh. Hands off. And no kissing in the ear.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

Awww, too cute Posted: 9/16/2009 8:21:42 AM
kitten posters do seem a bit poofy to me... but heck, he may just enjoy looking at a little pvssy once in while...... 8)

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

What to do when a woman is publicly and drunkenly getting handsy? Posted: 9/13/2009 8:29:13 PM
I'd leave too if a male co-worker was doing that to me. And I'd avoid him like the plague at my workplace or feign selective amnesia. You did what you could OP. As for dude that thinks guys can't say no to guaranteed sex (msg 23) ... get a grip. And no, I wasn't referring to your nether parts; you can let go of those now.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 92 (view)

My boyfriend feels he hasnt slept with enough women. Posted: 9/13/2009 12:57:16 PM
Taliz, I agree with what most have said already: you should get out of the relationship. Good guy or not, he has expressed a desire to have sex with more women. You're young. you have options, and you have your whole life ahead of you. What advice would you give to a friend were she to tell you that her guy wanted to sleep around to gain more experience? I know it isn't easy to walk away... but you should.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

If Relationships Were Simpler.. Posted: 8/23/2009 3:01:08 PM
1. mutual attraction 2. mutual desire to be in said relationship c'est ca

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 963 (view)

Why women want guys to come to THEM Posted: 8/19/2009 6:29:07 PM
Your average man (I stress "average", because there are exceptions to everything) will approach a woman if he wants to. As a matter of fact, in my own experience and observation, little will stop him from doing just that. Whether a woman is receptive or not becomes a moot point to an enamoured male... I'm willing to bet he doesn't take a moment to ponder "why should I approach her?" Hell no!... he just barrels right up to her and says what he wants to say..... While I may admire balsy bolder women, I will remain true to my own personal nature which leans to the more subtle cues that scream 'hell yeah, I want you!' to the man who chooses to pick up on them, and who is receptive... If he does not pick up on them it is not because he was conditioned not to, it's because he doesn't care to. He doesn't care to = he's just not that into you. And that just wouldn't work for this gal. This is my own personal take on this question. Right or wrong, it's right for me. ... each unto his/her own. ^^zangie: lol@androgyny ... no kidding.. SNL's Pat comes to mind. ha!

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

What do couples do every day? Posted: 8/8/2009 7:39:04 AM
everyday? we couple. then we stop. then we couple. then we stop. and so on, and so on, and so on.... it's all ups and downs I tell ya. ;) keep smilin'

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Women: How would you respond to a sexually inexperienced Man over 30? Posted: 8/8/2009 7:30:30 AM
Nothing wrong with sexual inexperience, in itself.. but at this point in my own life I wouldn't be drawn to a man who didn't have any ~ at least not at an intimate level. I do agree that great sex (and a great relationship) requires passion and a strong emotional connection, but that's a given whether ones a virgin or not.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Angry Passions Posted: 8/8/2009 7:13:41 AM
Is it healthy to not feel angry at all? Ever? I find that odd. Never heard of it. Until now, I guess....

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Did you expect to be single this late in life? Posted: 7/31/2009 10:10:56 AM
To be honest, I never thought about it much, when I was younger... I didn't expect my spouse to pass away at the age of thirty though. So, no.. I didn't think I'd be single at 35, let alone at 40. I'm with someone now but it took five years to get there and I still live my life day by day with few expectations except to enjoy life and all it brings before something else happens (because it always could)... It's funny at 40, each morning I am happy if I get up and nothing 'new' has happened to my person, despite how trivial. I actually get a black-humour kinda kick out of it. sigh ... :) If I'm single again at 45 I will find something to occupy my time, I'm sure... :)

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 1013 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 7/31/2009 9:55:57 AM
No disrespect, but the "shallow" card is lame and overused. I, for one, do NOT want to be given the time of day by someone who is not attracted to me, hot or not. End of my preferences. If our pheromones dance when we are with one another, great. If they continue dancing because our personalities match...jackpot. As for the why's? Who cares. really?

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 361 (view)

Dating is all about income Posted: 7/30/2009 2:26:37 PM
a good relationship is all about having things to talk about.... and then still wanting to bump uglies afterwards. lol@steak dinner

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Why do men keep stating, I want a woman who knows what she wants? Posted: 7/29/2009 2:37:02 PM
OP, they make this statement because they mean it. Simple as that, really. If what you want, specifically, isn't to someone's liking..oh well, c'est la vie. It'll be to someone else's, surely.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 977 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 7/29/2009 2:04:01 PM
why why why... this is why: http://new.music.yahoo.com/videos/RightSaidFred/I'm-Too-Sexy--25681762 LOL

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Is This A Deal Breaker? If Not, then what now? Posted: 7/27/2009 9:01:08 PM
I'd leave him on his own for a (long) bit to de-stress. No need to stick around and become his "excuse" as to why he can't seem to get it up any longer. Without you there, he will have to come up with something else... pun intended.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 276 (view)

When the bill comes on a first date... Posted: 7/21/2009 1:56:33 PM
lol yup. those are the only buttons he'll be pushin' for a while... and to think, people have real problems elsewhere in the world! yawn.... what a topic.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 124 (view)

When the bill comes on a first date... Posted: 7/14/2009 9:44:53 PM
hm.. interesting. Me? I like a man to be predictable ... no surprises, thanks. I do agree about money, if I have no problems dishing out a few bucks here and there, neither should anyone else. That applies to all the company I keep. No stakes will be a-burning here lol. First dates had always been simple for me; I'd grab my own coffee and/or drink, usually before they arrived and if anyone wanted seconds it was because the company was good. Who paid has never been an issue in my own experience... enjoy life. enjoy people you're with when you're with them. Money? You can't take it with you..

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 103 (view)

What lessons have you learned from online dating? Posted: 7/10/2009 10:30:39 AM
I have learned no lessons from online dating. It is what it is, and other than meeting a few new faces, everything I experienced was nothing eye-opening. I have learned lessons in other ways ... but that's a whole different topic. :) enjoy your day all!

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Women's Favorite/Least Favorite Conversation Topics Posted: 7/8/2009 4:44:53 PM
most favourite (as of today) topic of conversation: this thread. I'll print it out and talk about it with my friends over a nice cold pint. May have to sprinkle some shoe talk in between all this depth just for balance.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time? Posted: 7/1/2009 7:45:00 PM
Anything is possible I suppose, but I'd have to wonder who has that much time to invest into getting to know two people well-enough to be able to fall in love with both of them? hehe just saw vixen's post ^^ you said it! I was always a terrible juggler, myself!

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 144 (view)

She is barely legal, He is 48 Posted: 6/28/2009 8:29:15 PM
I don't think all older women are envious or bitter about this topic; for myself I've been there, done that. I was that 18 year old girl, and I loved it. Today I revel in being that forty year old woman, and I am enjoying this stage of my life more than I thought possible. I speak about this topic only from the viewpoint I once held as that young woman ... I know what most of them are most "likely" to do, and/or "feel" about an older man ... yes, there are exceptions to everything but speaking generally, I'd say that most wouldn't give them more than a few good memories before they go to get serious with someone else. That's speaking only from my own experience... People allow most things to happen in their lives because they want them to, are ready for them, and enjoy them. If this means dating younger or older, then good for them and for as long as it lasts... And it doesn't bother me one bit what others choose to do, or who they want to do it with. More power to them. For myself, I prefer a man with "baggage" these days.. travelling light I'll leave for the younger generations. ~k

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 236 (view)

Everyone Wants a Cougar Posted: 6/28/2009 4:26:23 PM
msg 1: maybe so (albeit highly-unlikely), but not every cougar (sic) wants a child with an over-active imagination and little to talk about (in wave-length speak) ....

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 969 (view)

Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy? Posted: 6/28/2009 11:32:16 AM
"never" is pretty absolute, and "hot" is pretty subjective don't you think, op? ... I don't have an answer to your question, but I'll go with what he ^^^ he said. sounds good to me.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

She is barely legal, He is 48 Posted: 6/27/2009 5:26:15 PM
OP, simply put.... he's suffering from SWTS: severe wishful thinking syndrome. 18 year olds have many choices .. the world is their oyster .. him, hmmm not so much (in that respect anyway) not nice to hear, but mostly true. too bad so sad ... :D

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Why do they love me only enough to say it? Posted: 6/27/2009 5:16:36 PM
Hi op. I think it means they like you, but you have a preference on your profile that discounts them, so they throw a line or two out there possibly hoping you'll follow up with something hinting at a date.. or not .. :)

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

GF kissed another guy... what do i do? Posted: 6/25/2009 4:35:58 PM
.....she kissed another guy after two months of dating you? whadja do to her? (kidding) dump her.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Why do people not respond when sent a message? Posted: 6/25/2009 3:51:52 PM
I tried not to post, but here I am.... OP, let's just put it this way: same reason why when you hold the door for someone they don't say thanks. And they may not say it for a billion and one reasons. It may have nothing to do with not being thankful... or they may just be dogs. Who knows. Why worry so much, though? ...it's something that's out of your hands. Focus on the good stuff. Life's too short.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 65 (view)

How far would you travel for a love affair? Posted: 6/25/2009 3:48:23 PM
It's possible.... I mean, I ended up in Europe for ten years the first time round, but falling in love wasn't what I expected to happen on that trip. It was great while it lasted..... It wasn't planned, though. I don't think I could plan for something like that, even if I tried. If I found myself in a position to do it again, I don't know how far I'd travel. Depends on the person.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

in love but no future Posted: 6/25/2009 3:30:03 PM
I do want to get married and start my own family. ^^^^ that is an important statement, which surely must mean a lot for you. Listen to your heart, but listen with care... try not to edit your true desires. You'll make the right decision.

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Girls making the first move??? Posted: 6/25/2009 3:17:45 PM
Well stop that, we are not that easy. way to put a damper on things!!! :P I don't need to know these things.....they are limiting... lol

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 25 (view)

When should the woman offer to pay? Posted: 6/25/2009 3:12:57 PM
A woman should always offer to pay, so she doesn't lose her soul LOL

katt_411

Joined: 3/22/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Is it appropriate? Posted: 6/24/2009 2:13:40 PM
It's not inappropriate to grieve according to one's own timeline, rather than one set by others. It does seem inappropriate, however, to seek a "replacement" ..... were those his words? If so, I wouldn't date him, but for a reason very different from the one mentioned in this thread.

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