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Thread: How to proceed, for lack of signals.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

How to proceed, for lack of signals. Posted: 11/29/2011 4:41:33 PM
^^^^^^^ In other words, men are forced to approach women at random, because they, the men, can't tell, shouldn't be able to tell, which women are interested in them, and so must approach every woman they see in order to find the one who is interested? Is that the way you think it should work? That seems to me to be as much a 'game' as any of the PUA stuff. I was under the impression that women don't like to be approached by random men, but evidently I'm wrong.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Yet another situation I don't know how to handle. Posted: 9/26/2011 4:48:22 PM
"next time don't hesitate." But don't come across as DESPERATE. walking the tightrope is FUN

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

How often would you do speed dating? Posted: 9/26/2011 4:41:55 PM
MissW@ "and we all had the best time in the ladies room during the break commenting on the men shaking our heads." Did you wonder what the men were talking about during the break?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

How often would you do speed dating? Posted: 9/26/2011 4:38:24 PM
forumfishie@ "I've done it once I looked around the room and I knew there was not a single man there I would like to go out with" I'd bet you've had the same feeling walking into parties. But I'd also bet you keep going to parties anyway.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Are the forums helpful for dating? Posted: 9/26/2011 4:31:02 PM
Don't regard the forums as anything other than cheap entertainment. If you take any of this to heart, it will only make you cynical and bitter about men, women, and relationships.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 38 (view)

people who get hardly any responses that finally get one! Posted: 9/26/2011 4:28:09 PM
I know exactly what you're saying OP. You've only been on here a few months, so stay with it. Don't listen to the kibbitzers who tell you that your lack of success must be due to something wrong with you. It's going to take a while to turn up someone right for you. Is there a difference between 'settling' and 'adopting more realistic expectations'? While the kismet approach to dating might work for a woman, it probably won't work for a man, so, if you don't try not to be single, you will probably remain single.....

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

What is the 'Deciding Factor' to contact someone...? Looks, Profile or Location?? Posted: 9/26/2011 4:10:04 PM
No matter how good she looks, no matter how great her profile is, if she's too far away, it's a waste of my time to contact.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

Are YOU an American? Posted: 9/23/2011 4:18:39 PM
So have the Big Government Four.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

Sudden taste change..ODD ? Is it common? Posted: 9/19/2011 8:41:40 AM
Beer can be "bruised" by letting it get too warm in storage. I know one tavern owner who thinks beer is supposed to taste that way(!). Also, draft beer systems need to be kept clean, and if they aren't, the taste of the beer run through them can be affected.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Taking a girl mudding... Posted: 9/13/2011 10:02:48 AM
Why don't you message one of those guys who have mudding as an interest on his profile and ask him about it?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

How many of you hide your profiles? Posted: 8/29/2011 9:32:56 AM
I've mentioned this in other threads, but it still baffles me: I never search profiles in "stealth mode", and the vast majority of women whose profiles appear on my "Viewed Me" page are women whose profiles I viewed, but did not contact. They evidently did not care if I knew they had viewed me. On the other hand, of the women to whom I sent initial messages, the majority either viewed my profile in stealth mode, (or did not view it at all). These women evidently did care if I knew they had viewed my profile. I have to assume that they(some of them anyway) did view my profile, why would the ones I contacted think I would assume they hadn't viewed me after I contacted them. How dumb do they think I am? And why, for cripes sake?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

Should Bert & Ernie get married?. Posted: 8/16/2011 2:53:35 PM
Peppermint Patty??? Oh man, No way! She can't be! I've had a crush on her all these years!

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

what is intelligence to you? Posted: 8/16/2011 2:45:11 PM
Trying to think about intelligence makes my brain hurt.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Government regulatory agencies Posted: 8/16/2011 2:41:12 PM
Administrative Agencies are staffed by "Civil Service" employees who are hired on a "merit" basis. That means that they are not hired according to who they support, politically. As a practical matter, it also means that they are not responsible to the voters, and that the same bunch of bureaucrats will be operating those agencies no matter who wins the next election. That's anti-democratic, in my opinion. And that may be a "feature" not a "bug", since it lets elected officials off the hook for the unpopular things Administrative Agencies do. And it's just about impossible to fire Civil service employees, no matter how inept or inefficient they are, short of them committing a felony. I think it would be entirely possible to reduce the number and size of Administrative Agencies, but that would require elected officials to do the things that the bureaucrats now do, and be held politically accountable by the voters. It would also require voters to pay attention to what their government does. So, in my opinion, it is the creators, preservers, and supporters of Administrative Rule who are lazy, sloppy, and unheedful. Bureaucracy allows voters and elected officials to abdicate their civic duties. Do we as Americans want to live in a democratic republic? Or in the bureaucratic Administrative State?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Back to the bar? Posted: 8/15/2011 4:37:00 PM
People do go to bars to socialize.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

craigslist casual encounters- any real or all scams? Posted: 8/15/2011 10:18:15 AM
thebigflick: "aren't about 90%+ actually prostitutes or 'escorts'?" You're not thinking of the now-discontinued "Erotic Services" classification, are you? 90% of the women who post in Casual Encounters w4m? Can't say, none of them ever respond to my messages. Or 90% of the women who replied to my post? 90% of the replies I got to my ad were scammers who wanted me to click on a link to some other site, do you count them as prostitutes? Of the replies I got which appeared to be from real women, only one or two wanted money for sex, and none of the women I actually met did. And none of the women I met were "enormous fatties", either. Not models, just normal looking women, of the kind you see around every day.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Confidence. Posted: 8/15/2011 9:52:02 AM

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

just a question about first contact emails Posted: 8/10/2011 12:15:04 PM
Basiate: "Sending out 20-30 messages and getting not one response is a bit odd." Maybe to you. I'm not sure if everyone here at POF would think it "odd". OP, it's a numbers game. No matter how great your profile, or how attractive your pictures, only a small percentage of the women on POF will be interested in any one guy.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Black women and white men Posted: 8/9/2011 10:33:58 AM
OP, I'd ignore any generalizations about the "vast majority" of men, be they white, black, or otherwise. You're looking for someone who's right for you, not the "vast majority".

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Why no pic??? Posted: 8/9/2011 10:29:36 AM
I won't talk to anyone who does have a pic. Why do I need a picture on my profile? Because the technology is available? "Just because I can"? I refuse to bow to social pressure. So there.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

craigslist casual encounters- any real or all scams? Posted: 8/9/2011 10:16:21 AM
I've met women through CL, all nice ladies. But 95% of the responses to my ad were spam or scammers of some sort. Of the other 5% a few said they wanted a cash "donation". I'd guess 80%, maybe more, of the w4m ads(at least in my area) are scams. I've never got a response from answering a woman's ad.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

warren jeffs...(the prophet) Posted: 8/8/2011 3:11:45 PM
You guys who think that polygamy is Ok between consenting adults, are you imagining yourselves as being the guy who can afford to support 3-4 wives and attendant children, or do you think you would be one of the poor schmucks who would end up a lifelong bachelor? Because that's what happens in societies where polygamy is accepted: the rich get married and the poor guys , well, have to take care of themselves.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

puzzled on something Posted: 8/8/2011 2:55:56 PM
See, OP, those are some of the questions that'll get you hated on. See, you've only been on here a little while and evidently don't know you get hated on for complaining that POF isn't working out for you quite as advertized. Suck it up. grin and bear it, etc., etc., etc..

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Take it to the mattresses Posted: 8/5/2011 8:41:42 AM
I'm confused as to whether you are shopping around for a used mattress or a new one. I don't know about Texas or other states, but it is illegal to sell a used mattress in Illinois. Having said that, I've been to auctions here where the bed-frame was auctioned off, and the mattress was thrown in for "free". Personally, I'd stick with new mattresses.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

Percentage of fake profiles on paid versus free dating sites? Posted: 8/1/2011 11:50:59 AM
What's your definition of "fake"? A considerable portion of all the profiles on POF are "dead" profiles that haven't been logged into for months or years. They were posted by real enough members once upon a time, but as a practical matter, they are now just window dressing to make POF look like it has more members than it actually does, and thereby make the site more appealing...... Is that really any different than padding the numbers by creating completely bogus profiles?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Is it ok to comment on pics Posted: 7/22/2011 9:42:30 AM
Sure, it's "OK", but don't expect a response of any kind. I've sent messages that were just a friendly comment on pictures or something posted in a profile, and have only rarely gotten a response in kind. Some of the posters in this thread above have kind of suggested this without coming out and actually saying it, so I will: Most folks who post profiles on POF really aren't interested in friendly exchanges that don't lead to something else. If you just want friendliness there are other online venues for that. Sorry, but it's true, profiles are not posted on POF out of neighborliness, or a desire to exchange messages that are merely friendly.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

where do i meet the good girls Posted: 7/22/2011 9:27:02 AM
"Just go to places you like to go, to meet women." If only it were that easy. How likely is it the OP would be on here asking where to meet women if he was meeting them in the places he likes to go?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Why are men so angry? - Abusive/rude messages Posted: 7/20/2011 7:27:33 AM
"I do believe in manners-but I don't think they apply to online dating......" I'm just not sure how to react to this. "....you can't win..." I'm sure a lot of those angry, bitter guys you're hearing from say they feel the same way.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

Possible to connect with opposing political views? Posted: 7/19/2011 1:26:11 PM
My initial, gut-level reaction was that if there's real attraction, political views won't matter too much. But reading the replies posted here by some of the more intolerant left-wingers tells me that I was probably wrong..........

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

standard outgoing email Posted: 7/15/2011 11:06:42 AM
Well....., One time years ago I ran an ad in the personals section of the local classifieds. I got maybe 5 or 6 responses (Like 2 years worth of POF!), most of which were hand written on plain white typewriter paper(this was before many people had home computers or printers). and a couple on ruled note book paper. The one that caught my interest, though, appeared to be a form letter (it was obviously a photo-copy), and read more like a resume. I was intrigued, and she was the one I contacted first. I found out, though, the "form letter" she sent me was the only one she had made, and she had made it just for the purpose of answering my ad. So, is the moral of the story that some formats are better than others? Or is it that something which stands out will get more notice?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 43 (view)

What does it take for you to Block someone on POF? Posted: 7/14/2011 4:38:05 PM
Gee, I've never blocked anyone. Guess I've been missing out.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

Appliance question - are front loader washing machines worth it? Posted: 4/22/2011 1:14:18 PM
Front loaders cost twice as much, and take twice as long to was a load. My experience has been that they don't clean heavily soiled work clothes nearly as well as a top loader.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Why does society put so much pressure on you Posted: 4/20/2011 8:31:39 AM
Those of you who have never felt social pressure to marry and settle down have evidently never lived in a settled community where most residents have lived in that community and often have known one another for many years. "....and just who is 'society' just a bunch of nameless faceless bur o population........" No, they are well meaning friends, relatives and neighbors who are not consciously intending to pressure you, they just wonder why you haven't found someone when it appears everyone else had so little trouble in pairing off. It took me years to realize that people were(mostly) not trying to embarrass me or rubbing my nose in my singleness when they asked "How come you don't have a girl friend? When are you gonna get married?" They just wondered why I was not conforming to their ideas about life, and were innocently asking me about it. The pressure is real, in many communities, if not necessarily malicious.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 354 (view)

Frustrated with inappropriate comments Posted: 4/13/2011 2:58:39 PM
When I posted that comment about the "sexual El Dorado", it was pointed at people, mostly women, who proclaim in these forums, and on their profiles that NSA sex is so easy to come by, but, of course, they themselves don't engage in such behavior. I always wonder if they are citing that as evidence of their own desirability, or whether they would like to be admired for their virtuous restraint. The poster I was replying to was asserting that there absolutely were websites where NSA sex is"easily" available, yet did her best not to admit to having any first-hand knowledge of them, or just how easily available the sex actually is.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 269 (view)

Frustrated with inappropriate comments Posted: 4/5/2011 11:55:35 AM
ladyc4: "NSA is dirt easy to find". Do you know that from first-hand experience, or did you see it on late-night cable?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 235 (view)

Frustrated with inappropriate comments Posted: 4/4/2011 4:07:07 PM
ladyc4, Where are these sites "where NSA sex is easily found"? Frankly, I think they are mostly an urban legend, but maybe you've actually found the sexual El Dorado?

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 74 (view)

do people date strangers? Posted: 3/28/2011 3:55:28 PM
Ogre; "Walk down the street in NYC or LA or Chicago and try to talk to random strangers? See how many respond to you politely". I thought you were the guy who advocates asking out complete strangers, just for the adventure of it.

HardwoodFloorboard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 225 (view)

Why guys don't dance. Posted: 3/28/2011 1:49:05 PM
WIP: "That said, clubs and bars aren't for conversation, they are for atmosphere, fun etc-so those who are trying to have meaningful conversation are going to be frustrated." Probably true, but once upon a time dancing was not confined to bars and clubs. Believe it or not, dance parties were held in people's private homes, barns, church basements, Grange Halls, etc. "Social dancing" was a way to socialize, and included conversation.

HardwoodFloorboard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 71 (view)

do people date strangers? Posted: 3/28/2011 1:36:10 PM
"Also, people are much less demanding and desperate in real life. I've never met anyone in real life who said "ok, I'm not going to meet you for coffee if all you want to do is talk/hang out/be friends". Is is because people are less demanding and desperate IRL, or is it because people in face to face encounters tend to be less direct? Isn't there a certain amount of social pressure to be "nice" and sugar coat rejection with excuses? "I live 50 miles away over at Whoville and don't get over here that often" "I have trouble finding babysitters" "My work schedule is all crazy lately" The relative anonymity of the web allows people to be blunt, for better or worse. There aren't too many people in real life who will pointedly ignore you after you've addressed them, but that seems to be standard procedure online.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 42 (view)

do people date strangers? Posted: 3/24/2011 9:11:07 AM
Ogre: "That is really sad. To think you've never put yourself out there and taken a chance on meeting a completely new person because they were attractive and nothing else. Let me guess, you don't take risks. do you?" Well, actually, I have put myself out there. But I've noticed that 99% of the people I come in contact with aren't really interested in me because we have nothing in common. It's that one hundredth person who has some point of commonality with me, the one who knows somebody I know, the one who's got some similar interest, or some other point in common with me, that I get involved with somehow. I'd bet your numbers would be similar if you actually counted them up. And I'd bet that's true of most everyone: You've probably never gone out with someone that you had absolutely NOTHING in common with.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

do people date strangers? Posted: 3/23/2011 11:43:59 AM
Notice two things OP: 1 The guys in this thread who say they've asked out women that they just met aren't mentioning all the times they got turned down doing that. 2 The women in this thread(so far) who say they went out with guys they just met are talking about being approached by guys, not approaching men themselves. And what, exactly do you mean by "stranger"? I don't think I ever asked out a woman IRL that I wasn't at least slightly acquainted with already. I went out with a woman once three days after I saw her the first time and knew little more about her than her(first)name and where she worked, but I had talked to her briefly on both the 2 previous days. Stranger or not? Thinking back on all the friends, male and female, I've made in my life, I don't think I ever struck up a friendship soley on the basis of one chance meeting and a friendly random conversation. All my friends and I had at least a little something in common, we -Lived in the same neighborhood, -Went to the same school, -Had mutual friends, -Were in the same line of work, -Belonged to the same organization, -Drank at the same saloon, -Had similar interests. All of the women I've met and become involved with IRL all fell into one of those categories, too. I guess I even had something in common with the women I've met on the internet ,too, we were on the same sites and looking.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 143 (view)

Why are men so angry??? Is this true? Posted: 3/10/2011 11:52:56 AM
WIP: "I'm sorry-where did I say that? You "took it" from left field. I don't condone kicking animals..." As I remember, I used kicking a dog as an example of negative reinforcement of behavior and you accused me of viewing the kicking of dogs and the kicking of children as somehow morally equivalent. Who was being overly emotional? My point, to boil it down real simple for you, is that our wanting to do, or not do, certain things, depends upon the benefit we think we will get from those things, and our perception of those benefits is influenced by the behavior of the people around us. You evidently disagree with that assertion, but seem to want to engage in personal attacks upon me rather than engage the assertion itself......

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 102 (view)

Why are men so angry??? Is this true? Posted: 3/9/2011 8:42:10 AM
WIP: "No response to this as a comparison to anything moral or humane. You can take "child" and place it where dog was and it's no different to you, I assume." WTF ?????? So I take it that you're OK with kicking dogs? I wouldn't kick either the dog or the child, but as a practical matter, if a dog or a child gets kicked just for being on the porch, either will "want" to avoid lying on the porch, their "reward" is not getting kicked. And remember, the dog doesn't know, maybe doesn't care, why he's getting kicked, he only knows that he IS getting kicked whenever you catch him on the porch. Maybe you think you have a good reason for kicking the dog, or maybe you are just a cruel harridan, but the dog doesn't know, and is reacting to your actions, not your intentions. I would hazard that this is probably also true of relations between men and women. People, like dogs, do take their social cues from the people around them, and most of us "want" to get along with our neighbors, the avoidance of personal and social discord being our "reward".

HardwoodFloorboard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 32 (view)

Frustrated with inappropriate comments Posted: 3/8/2011 2:44:24 PM
Eh, Woman complain in these forums that they get too many of the wrong kind of messages, men complain that they don't get enough of any kind...........

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 47 (view)

Looking for threesomes on the net? Posted: 3/8/2011 12:06:58 PM
Eh, I've noticed a certain number of postings from couples looking for another guy. These also tend to include such disclaimers as "husband will only watch", or "no male to male contact".

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 82 (view)

Why are men so angry??? Is this true? Posted: 3/8/2011 11:44:47 AM
"Doing things because you want to regardless of what you get from it is a nice concept. Can we try that?" ????????? Why do we want to do the things we want to do? I want to do some things because doing them is enjoyable. My enjoyment is my "reward". I want to do some other things because I am pretty certain that leaving them undone will cause some bad result. My "reward" is avoiding that bad result. I want to do some things because I've been taught that those things are the "right" things to do. My "reward" is being regarded as righteous by G*d, my family, my neighbors, and society in general. I also expect a certain reciprocity from other people, if we all do the "right" things, society will be better off. Or maybe my" reward" is just feeling morally superior to those miscreants who dont do the right things. If you kick your dog every time you catch him sleeping on the porch, he will soon stop "wanting" to sleep there.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Why are men so angry??? Is this true? Posted: 3/7/2011 10:21:37 AM
^^^^ You were NOT being accused of that. It's always such a crapshoot to find someone whose expectations are complementary to our own.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

what do women really mean when they list Friends? Posted: 3/7/2011 8:42:05 AM
If you were to read a bunch profiles of folks who say they are looking for "Friends" (or "Dating", or "Long Term", or whatever) you will find that different people have widely varying interpretations of what those classifications actually mean, and also widely differing expectations as to what kind of response they might get. Sometimes what appear to be mixed signals might be different ideas about what "Friens" means.

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Why are men so angry??? Is this true? Posted: 3/7/2011 8:16:37 AM
womaninprogress: "I don't expect men to do anything but meet me halfway." Ah, but I've noticed that men and women tend to have different ideas about where "halfway" is. We've all been pursuing social "equality" between men and women, for at least 40 years now, without ever coming to any kind of consensus as to what it would actually entail. It seems to me that a lot more women give lip-service to the ideals that womaninprogress expresses in her post than actually put them into practice........

HardwoodFloorBoard

Joined: 3/27/2008

Msg: 125 (view)

Where can I meet a guy other than the internet? Posted: 3/4/2011 8:10:27 AM
So, sugarcane, If I were to see you out and around somewhere, and you are not smiling, and are avoiding eye contact with me, would the "manly" thing be for me to walk up to you and attempt to engage you in some conversation?

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