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 Author Thread: The world's shortest fairy tale
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
The world's shortest fairy tale
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:36:08 PM
WORLD'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl,
'Will you marry me?'

The girl said, 'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Should I give up on him?
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:21:43 PM
I've got a brilliant, yet little used idea: ASK HIM!!!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
GOLD BALLS?
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:15:23 AM

gold members

hehe .. he said "gold member". Isn't that an Austin Powers character?
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
dating or long term
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:11:27 AM
They should come up with something that is kind of both terms like "dong term"!

.... o wait!!!!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dating
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:51:29 PM

About 50% of the people will agree with you, 50% won't, and you'll listen to whatever 50% you wish.

I'm undecided and ambivalent about the whole thing. Which percent does that put me in?
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
need advice
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:02:28 AM
OP, one piece of advice that has nothing to do with your question is that your screen name here has, shall we say "unusual connotations" to it. While you may see it as being an honest representation of who you are, there are so creeps out there who will see it as a sexual thing.

.... just saying ....
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
double booked ?!?!
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:56:28 AM
..... can't ..... quit .... laughing ... at .... YOU!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
out of my league
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:45:13 AM
umm dude, no one is out of anyones league ... look at a few famous personalities we know and their wives:
Michael Douglas married to Catherine Zeta Jones
Willem Dafoe married to hottie italian director Giada Colagrande
Joe Pesci engaged to Angie Everhart.

These guys are U.G.L.Y with extreme hotties. Granted they have fame and money so that helps, but even with that, these women could have any guy they wanted ... even guys with fame, money and LOOKS.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Love
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:02:07 AM
Love is knowing how to do a forum search on a topic that's been done OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER ...

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 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Sex to get a job?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:39:17 AM
I god, I hope not. My boss is 6'4" and if he ever says "hmmm, boy you sure have a pretty mouth" I am RUNNING for the door.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What ALL Men Want...
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:25:55 AM

You're right, baldyisbeautiful - she exists, and I've got her.

See! Those women don't stay on the market long enough for some of us to ever meet them.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What ALL Men Want...
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:19:13 AM

What do you do when you find this woman?

This "woman" that you talk about doesn't exist ... and if she does exist, then she is already taken!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Heels and shorter guys - advice please!
Posted: 7/12/2009 6:24:05 AM

Silent, thank you for your advice. Perspective-changing is not something that happens over night, it is n ongoing process.

I have thought about mine, and am working on it, but it comes down to how I feel when I'm with someone. Larger, taller men make me, (a bit large, taller woman) feel more feminine and protected (I think that's in my profile somewhere...)

It's not so much a conscious choice as an instinctive reaction. Hmmm...maybe there's a thread about this somewhere that might provide additional constructive input...TTFN!

You just had to go and say that didn't you ... AND directly TOO him. Hasn't anyone ever told you not to make eye contact with a wolf.

*heads to the cupboard and pulls out several bags of popcorn and puts one in the microwave*
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Imagine this...one day we were to wake up and....
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:07:34 PM
I'm guessing I would still NOT get any!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:34:09 PM
You forgot: Getting rejected keeps the lotion and porn industries in business.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
My friend who is utterly hopeless. You've got one, too.
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:20:57 PM

landra2: Why should they go to therapy? You Americans seem to think psychiatrists have all the answers. Newsflash, they do not.

You know, I visited the Irish forums the other day, and I do have to say there is A LOT of hatred for other countries in those forums, and a complete disregard for anyone not from Ireland. All my life I have wanted to go back to the "old country", which is why I visited the forums, but I have to say, if the majority of the people there are like the ones on the forums, then I may just stay away. But I just put it up to the fact that the people on the forums probably aren't getting laid, and that must be why they are so angry.

My point is, quit pointing fingers at American's in general, and point them instead at certain people, because truthfully, the Irish forums are just as bad as ours.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
My friend who is utterly hopeless. You've got one, too.
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:15:43 PM
I did have a friend like you are talking about OP. He finally met someone who liked him just for the way he was and has been happily married for 10 years now.

.... and he still doesn't get it, but at least he is getting "some"!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What are the odds...really?? REALLY????
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:13:24 PM

Make fun of me, I thought we were making plans to spend the rest of out lives together flyfishing and high heel shoe shopping :)

See OP, there is another reason you forgot to put in your list. When you finally find someone that is perfect for you, they often live too far away to do anything about other then dream and wish.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:06:27 PM
Because they can.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
What are the odds...really?? REALLY????
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:05:23 PM
People come here to find date? Really?

OP, the odds are astronomical, and no you aren't jaded ... just realistic. Like you, I have given up on the hopes of actually meeting anyone on here and only show up now and then now to just have fun on the forums and make fun of people like Abbicci.
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Am I out of my league?
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:48:21 PM
A week? Really? Some of us have been on here since the stone age.

... and you think you're frustrated!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why do guys ask this, really?
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:46:40 PM
One reason may be because they want to know if you are just going to use them for a free meal.

Another reason is probably to determine how horny you may be and if they are going to get lucky. In many men's minds (not all) a man might think that if you haven't been out in a while, then you might be ready to have some sex. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's wrong, I am just the messenger -- don't shoot me!
 baldyisbeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:44:09 PM

^^^ I peeked, there's a world of difference between honest and negative. I didn't see anything crazy, negative in your profile.

And trust me, if anyone here knows "crazy, negative" it's abbicci. Whenever I see that Jack in the box commercial "street rat crazy" I always think of abbicci!

... but in a good way!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How hot am I?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:13:49 AM
I think if I was gay that you would be my soulmate hell. Your psychotic, but in a cute lovable way!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Heels and shorter guys - advice please!
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:38:42 AM

Unless he's got a "short guy complex" he won't mind. And if he does have a "short guy complex" you're better off knowing early on.

I'm a short guy, and I am kind of "complex" --- you got a problem with that? Huh, huh, do ya! (Ok, maybe I'm not that complex)

Mostly I just wanted to reply again to say I'm totally in love (read as "lust") with Abbicci!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
public pickers are on pof TOO
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:07:42 AM
My question is did she wipe it under the seat or just flick it randomly across the room ... very important distinction here!


Warhammer? pft. EVE or EQ II if you please!

Losers! WoW or go home!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What drives you crazy in bed about your partner?
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:43:19 AM

What drives you crazy in bed

Usually the little voices that are arguing ... "kill her, don't kill her, kill her, get some cake" ... wish they would make up their mind already!

I love that little area at the bottom of a woman's belly, but above her sex. Something about it drives me crazy and makes me want to kiss it all night long. MMmmmm, and the small of the back. Oh, can't forget the neck and ears -- oooo man! Oh wait, then there are her legs -- Yeah baby ....
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Ok, this is truly for guys only...
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:38:10 AM
This will have to be answered in a couple of ways;
1. Online: I probably won't message her because if she is "all that and a piece of cake" then I'll assume she is getting tons of emails already.
2. In person: If I feel some kind of "chemistry" I'll ask her out, but just a random person in the street, probably not because MACE hurts!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Heels and shorter guys - advice please!
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:51:35 AM
90% of the girls I have dated have been as tall or taller then me, and 100% were taller then me in heels. Never been a problem for me. I likes 'em that way! If he can't handle it, tell him to man up or you're gonna make him your b!tch!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Do you guys suppor Obama's view on interracial marriage?
Posted: 7/6/2009 3:54:29 PM

Also, of course mixed people are better looking. Duh.

Ain't that the truth!! I loves me some mixed race girls!

Definitely not an Obama fan here (or of almost any politician no matter their party), but I'd have to say this was taken out of context.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Do Any of you Guys Do this?
Posted: 7/6/2009 1:36:02 PM

There are so many sad stories on here about MEN who have "thought" they found a keeper but were only fooled by a B!TCH who didn't give a sh** about them and dissapeared after. Do WOMEN even care at all after they've done this to a MAN? Do they ever feel guilty or do they think that the MEN deserved to be treated like this, like HE was just "stupid" for believing their lies. ??


Fixed that for you. Hope it helps.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
This is kind of explicit...
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:40:16 AM
Really depends for me. Is she a butterface?
... she has this ROCKING body ... but her face ....

You know I actually tried an FWB situation like this for a while, but after the first couple of times, I found it was just easier and less painful to just masterbate. And I didn't wake up in the morning wanting to chew my arm off.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How can you tell?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:44:02 AM
lilvixen,
Sorry, but you are 44 years old, and you haven't learned the how to spot a player? Really? Have you been living under a rock your whole life?
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why, why, why
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:29:23 AM
For some men (and I say SOME, not all), leaving a woman that you have been with for a very long time can be akin to the same emotional upheaval that people experience when a loved one dies. They go through the same emotional stages of anxiety because in essence a part of their life has died and they are moving on to a new life. This can be very dramatic for some, and not everyone is going to understand unless they have been through it themselves.

As for the gentleman in question, it's hard for any of us to know what is going on in his head, only you have the option of sitting him down and asking him directly what is going on.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Phone Sex????
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:31:01 AM

What is vampire a code word for?

It translates roughly into man speak as: "She likes to suck on things. We have things that like to be sucked ... we are a match!"

"Peace through superior firepower!" ~~S.A.C.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Being picked up at work
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:28:12 AM
NO!!!! And I seriously resent the dwarf-tossing implications!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Please explain Love
Posted: 7/3/2009 9:23:13 AM

However, once that kid(s) get older the pendulum swings back to "conditional love". An example: "Joey clean your room and daddy/mommy will give you an allowance. That's a condition. Just ask anyone who had kids.

This part of your argument doesn't hold water. Just because "Joey" doesn't clean his room, does not mean that his parents will love him less. Joey may not get his allowance, but I seriously doubt that mom and dad will take their love away. You are using two subjective conditions to make an argument built on fallicy.

In my case, which I in no way make representation for anyone else except myself, I do have unconditional love for my children. There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for them, nor is there anything in this world that would cause me to love them less ... up to and including murder. My only question to them would be: Do you need help hiding the body?

THAT is unconditional love, and there are very few people in this world who warrant it.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 180 (view)
 
Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 7/3/2009 8:35:40 AM

Most of us women just want to know initially that you really wanted that first date.

First: Whether a first date is a simple coffee or an extravagant meal, if we asked you out then doesn't that mean that we wanted to go out with you? Seems rather stupid to assume that a guy is going to like you more because he spends more money on you. So, what I am getting from your statement is that if a guy isn't willing to spend a bunch of money on you right from the beginning then he isn't worth your time. To me this is setting a very bad precedence and while you may not be a golddigger, it doesn't bode well for the future.
Secondly: Sure you bought the second meal, but in the majority of cases there is no second meal. A guy may go out on hundreds of dates before there is a connection. That's hundreds of meals bought with very little reciprocation from the other parties.
Thirdly: Would you not consider a guy that is more fiscally reponsible to be a better catch then a guy who willy-nilly throws his money around by buying hundreds of dinners? That's money that could be in the bank waiting for a nice little wife or girlfriend to come along and spend it for him later on down the road. Or for him to buy nice little things for his wife/girlfriend like roses, perfume or a house!

don't know as I've never done the asking out.

And here is the whole cruxt of the matter. For centuries it has been the male's job to do the asking out, but now we have this little thing called equal rights where it's alright for a lady to not only work but also vote and, verily may I say it, ask a guy out and pay for date. But they don't, even though they make as much money as a guy, it still falls on his shoulder to do the asking out, because that's what is expected of men, and since a man does the asking out, it is required that he pay for the date. Seems to me you have this nice little clause built right in to keep from having to pay for a dinner, doesn't it, even though I am sure you make as much, if not more then some of your dates. Wow, kinda cool how that works out ... you get to save your money while getting a free meal.

And by you, I don't mean YOU personally in any of this, just as a generalization. What ruins all this dating for you personally, and causes us men to act the way we do now is to be blamed on all the women before you who just wanted a free meal at a guys expense with no intention of ever going out with him again. Sorry, it sucks I know, but that's just the way it is.

"Peace through superior firepower!" ~~S.A.C.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Please explain Love
Posted: 7/2/2009 8:36:51 AM

God is "love"

So which God are we talking about here?
Christian: Love thy neighbor ... unless they don't believe in the same things.
Jewish: Oy ... love is a b!tch!
Muslim: There shall be 42 virgins waiting in paradise to make love to you ... they may not be good looking, or even the right sex, but they will be virgins.
Quetzalcoatl: If you love me you will sacrifice a virgin to me!
Odin: Give me a horn of ale ... and pass over that lovely wench.
Zues: hmmm ... what a lovely mortal women. I think I'll go down and give her some Godly love.
Parvati: Wait till I'm done with my yoga ... then give me your Shiva.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Do guys want feedback???
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:20:01 PM
Feedback: Evaluative information derived from such a reaction or response: to study the feedback from an audience survey.

Criticism: the act of passing judgment as to the merits of anything.

One is giving evaluative information while the other denotes a passing of judgement. And yes, this is a critically fine line for most people.

critism: Has no meaning that I can find, but I am going to throw out there that it has something to do with talking about a "critical hit" in games that involve dice. Or it could just be me being a spelling nazi.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do guys want feedback???
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:08:04 PM
Do you mean feedback or criticism? It's a fine line, but one that has caused many a divorce.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Do you hold back in forums to improve your profile?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:25:13 PM
I don't think anyone who has ever read one of my forum posts could ever claim that I have ever held back anything.

I am who I am, and make no bones about it, and if someone looks at my profile and finds that my forum posts bother them, then I guess I dodged a bullet there, because to be perfectly honest, anyone that can't handle what I say in these forums CERTAINLY couldn't handle me in real life!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
When is our Bait (profile) all soggy and stale in the Fish Pond?
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:10:00 PM
Well James, I see today's internet dating scene as more a "catch and release" type of dry fly fishing, using barbless hooks. So presentation is what it is all about, and if you find one fly isn't working very well, then spruce it up with a few new hackles.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Need some Advise
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:04:19 PM

Why is she having access to the children when they're spending time with him? I can understand it when they're with him for the whole summer, but not over the weekend...

O give me a break. Some parents don't fall into the cookie-cutter roles of "who's turn is it with the kids right now". My ex and I both have 24/7 access to our kids ... NOT for our sakes, but for the kids. Children need both parents in their lives ALL THE TIME not just when it's one parents turn to have them.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Need some Advise
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:58:49 PM
My ex and I are very close when it comes to raising our kids. Do either of us ever want to get back together? No way in hell! Doesn't mean we can't be friends and communicate with each other though.

My advice for you: Don't stress it. Stressing out and worrying about little things is what makes guys want to get away from women and go find a new one. OK, maybe not all guys ... but it sure makes ME want to leave.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is there a way to express interest in a profile without sounding like a slut?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:29:37 PM
Here I have an idea. Put this on your profile

I have the hormones of a 20 year old and want to be in a monogamous relationship. I am still healthy and NOT attracted to a bunch of guys who are only looking for sex?
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
why does the word dutch make female run?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:00:43 AM
Stay away from "frist" dates.

And, might want to do a thread search before posting
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Please explain Love
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:57:24 AM
Love: A feeling of strong attachment induced by that which delights or commands admiration; preeminent kindness or devotion to another; affection; tenderness; as, the love of brothers and sisters.
Especially, devoted attachment to, or tender or passionate affection for, one of the opposite sex.
Courtship; -- chiefly in the phrase to make love, i. e., to court, to woo, to solicit union in marriage.
Affection; kind feeling; friendship; strong liking or desire; fondness; good will; -- opposed to hate; often with of and an object.
Due gratitude and reverence to God.
The object of affection; -- often employed in endearing address.
Cupid, the god of love; sometimes, Venus.
A thin silk stuff.
A climbing species of Clematis (C. Vitalba).
Nothing; no points scored on one side; -- used in counting score at tennis, etc.
To have a feeling of love for; to regard with affection or good will; as, to love one's children and friends; to love one's country; to love one's God.
To regard with passionate and devoted affection, as that of one sex for the other.
To take delight or pleasure in; to have a strong liking or desire for, or interest in; to be pleased with; to like; as, to love books; to love adventures.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What Should I Do?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:53:29 AM
Since you are new the best advice I can give you before the flaming starts is to use the search function for topics that have already been hashed over a million times.

Thank you playing and have a nice day!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
what do I do?
Posted: 7/1/2009 8:30:49 AM
It's 4th and 10, late in the 4th quarter and your team is ahead by 14 .... coach says punt!
 
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