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Thread: Watching the Clock

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Watching the Clock Posted: 9/18/2009 3:28:08 AM
did you write it? or if you didnt, who is it by?

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Actual Real Life Crime Morons Posted: 9/8/2009 1:13:17 AM
one man in the southern parts of the U.S.A. was arrested for public drunkeness, lude behahior and indecent exposure, when he was picked up at about 230am in a pumkin patch, the arresting officer found him having sex with a pumkin. when asked why he was making love to a pumkin he replyed"awwww man is it midnight already?"

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

the weapon Posted: 9/8/2009 1:00:01 AM
the shots echoed through the halls the very sound telling them where to run who their prey was... he ran forward quickly turning 180 degrees to fire at a fast moving sillouhette that fell to the ground the others trampling the battered corpse. quickly assessing his odds the man turned and ran, while the carcass coninued to be crush beneath the onslught. he saw the room, it would be his salvation his life depended on reaching the door, his legs pistoning him through the hall reaching the door faster than anticapated, the turned locked the door and braced it with his shoulder. realizing the room was black and unkown he flicked then flashlight on the end of his barrel on and began to turn, slowly but surely he turned knowing sudden movement would give him away........ to be continued or is it? lol lemme know how i did please, thx

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

just one of my favorite peoms Posted: 9/8/2009 12:40:29 AM
i just thought i would put up one of my favorite poems up, feel free to add. "i never saw a wildthing sorry for itself, a bird will fall frozen from abough, without ever having felt sorry for itself" D.H. Lawrence

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Anyone playing World of Warcraft??? Posted: 9/8/2009 12:30:58 AM
to anyone whoes lost someone because this remarkebly evil game, my heart goes out to you ive lost several friends for life one which didnt even graduate from highschool because of it. but just a note, games can be dangerous but if you play with your child or friends casually its a fun experiance.

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

a personal ad Posted: 9/8/2009 12:20:06 AM
a women in her early 40's has had enough dating she wants someone she can settle down with. so she places a personal ad in the paper the ad goes as follows: 40yr old women looking for a serious partner, i dont want to be punched or kicked, i want to have a loving relationship, i also want to be pleasured like never before. about a week later she someones rings the doorbell,, she anwsers and see's this man in a wheelchair. "can i help you" she says "yes im here about your ad, i think im the perfect man for you" the man says, "oh well i dont know about you..." the man replys with" well i have no arms ill never punch you, i have no legs ill never kick you, and ill love you for as long you love me". "but i also wanted to be pleasured like never before" "well how do you think i rang the doorbell"

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Toilet Seat Orientation Wars Posted: 2/2/2009 2:23:05 PM
could be worse. i was out hunting and camping with my grandapa and uncle we found a good spot to make camp and about twenty feet from where we set up camp we found a hole with two logs paralell and three sitting on top and on top of the logs there was a lawn chair nailed to the logs with a hole cut in the seat and ducttape around the hole so you didnt cut yourself

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

hawt stuff!! bar talk Posted: 2/2/2009 2:08:02 PM
an older gentle man walks into a bar with a cane and an alligator following him on a leash. he sits down the bartender walks up and says "you cant have that thing in here its dangerous" the older man replies "no no no its my pet he is docile here ill show you a trick i taught him" so by now theres a crowd gathered because an alligator in a bar is not something you see everyday. well the old man opens the alligators mouth and puts his d**k in its mouth, and the alligator starts biting down, after a few moments he hits the alligators head with the cane and it opens its mouth, not a scratch on the man. crowd is amazed and starts asking how he did it, "well if someone vollunteers i'll show you" well a blonde woman in the crowd puts her hand up and says "i'll do it but dont hit me with the cane"

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Fun things to do at WalMart, or driving by it. Posted: 1/17/2009 11:36:37 AM
now that most wal-marts have the refridgerator aisles, walk down one in your pjs and start drinking milk out of the carton

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 69 (view)

Why are Humans the only Mammals without a mating call? Posted: 1/17/2009 11:25:11 AM
o so the mating dance and pose mentioned in the first pages of this forum do not work, do not attempt, uneless accompanied by a legal guardian.

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

What are your favourite sayings? Posted: 1/17/2009 11:18:27 AM
if you swallow money dont worry, when you shit out the change then worry.

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

PARANOID!!! Posted: 1/15/2009 10:58:47 PM
lol nice one very funny

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Deer Dinner Posted: 1/15/2009 10:54:24 PM
good joke two thumbs up to make up for deerdales thumbs down

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Your Song / Day of your Debut Posted: 1/14/2009 11:26:55 AM
satisfied by richard marx

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

New Dummies Books Posted: 1/14/2009 11:20:48 AM
53. the dummies guide to a sense of humor

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

New Dummies Books Posted: 1/13/2009 12:31:35 PM
speak for yourself. some of those are pretty good

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

classy women in clubs have they gone the way of disco? Posted: 1/12/2009 9:34:30 AM
[Possibly Lack of Class demonstrated by Men compared to those of the Past? "Let's go back to my Place" or even ruder Forms of it after only a Couple of Minutes has become far too commonplace.] this maybe true. but still kudos to the remaining classy women

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

classy women in clubs have they gone the way of disco? Posted: 1/2/2009 11:27:08 PM
what the hell happened to classy women in clubs and bars? the girls are wearing skirts that do them no justice or are dressed like sluts. i dont mean to offend anyone here but seriously what happened? women in clubs dressed in a nice dress are far more attactive than those dressed like hos.

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 27 (view)

We gotta kill r'n'b before it takes over the world Posted: 1/2/2009 9:12:16 PM
ok so fifty cent was shot nine times. well was he shot with a high powered hunting rifle? I DONT THINK SO!!! IF THE GUY THAT SHOT HIM FINISHED THE JOB WE WOULDNT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS ****TARD SHIT HE CALLS MUSIC

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

five finger death punch Posted: 12/29/2008 7:00:13 PM
damn now i gotta re-buy it

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

five finger death punch Posted: 12/29/2008 2:40:36 PM
ok so i heard a song from five finger death punch i think its called "its never enough" wat the hell album is that? i thought they only had one album so far? .................................................................

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 68 (view)

workout songs Posted: 12/29/2008 2:38:43 PM
down with the sickness-disturbed bumbaklut-soulfly happy?-mudvayne coming undone-korn destroyer-staticx ashes-five finger death punch so many faces-neurosonic spin-revis can't heal you-five finger death punch team hate-staticx dead on the dancefloor-daath welcome-slipknot pulse of the maggots-slipknot only in this order, and only for those with a love for metal

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

quotes or poems that have had an impact on our lives or the way we live them Posted: 12/24/2008 1:32:42 PM
for myself it was one poem i found in a collection of peotry. it is by D.H. Lawrence. it has two titles one is "self pity" the other is "wild thing" "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. a bird will fall frozen from abough without ever having felt sorry for itself." i have it memoized

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 208 (view)

Do You Believe In Ghosts? Posted: 12/24/2008 1:28:41 PM
my grandfather and myself are kinda wierd we se things that have'nt happened yet. ex: my grandpa had seen a blue vehicle roll off a dirt road and crash, well about two months later he rolled his blue chevy blazer off a bush road with my grandma uncle mother and aunt. this is just one example i have only seen one thing so far but i saw a steep cliff that drops down thirty feet or so and someone falling down it . i fell thirty feet while hiking with my grandfather i broke a few ribs in the fall, if i had fallen five feet more to the left i would have fallen on a bunch of rocks and probley would have died. for some reason we only see these thing while dreaming there is no pattern nor anyway of telling when or if they will happen only for lack of a better word "warnings"

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Who are you? Posted: 11/19/2008 5:42:58 PM
woot sid vicious here

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 84 (view)

Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex? Posted: 11/16/2008 11:31:02 AM
me and my gf (at the time) were banging. her parents walked in and she yelled these are'nt mine and grabbed her smokes off her nightstand

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 46 (view)

If You Could Give ONE Piece of Advice to the Opp Sex..... Posted: 11/7/2008 10:46:54 AM
ok one thing. not all men are a$$holes. just because you dated one in your ever expanding lifestyle doesnt mean all men are a$$holes please dont judge all of us. and i have a man-purse and im proud of it

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Horror Movie Safety Tips Posted: 11/6/2008 9:07:03 PM
also if you can hear heavy grunting, breathing, growling or anything as such dont turn around run like hell

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 76 (view)

funny profile pics, screen names Posted: 11/6/2008 4:15:33 PM
no funny pics just a funny nickname peedonurpoptart

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Horror Movie Safety Tips Posted: 11/6/2008 11:15:02 AM
do not light zombies on fire. it doesnt work not even a little also do not use fire as a weapon indoors. also dont be a a$$hole to your friends in such situations. they die very horrible deaths or are shot by commrades

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Kids Say the Darndest Things... Posted: 11/6/2008 10:59:23 AM
i know shes not really my kid but my year and a half year old cousin was talking to my aunts boyfriend ha had just bought a snowmobile( my uncle her father also has one) and he asked her "do you think your dad can keep up to me?" she said "no my dad has a turbo"

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 396 (view)

Best bumper sticker Posted: 11/4/2008 2:23:27 PM
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i'm listening to wind whistle through your head. or come to dark side.............. we have cookies!

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 37 (view)

Best Jokes Here... Posted: 11/4/2008 2:18:02 PM
a buisness man was going to go on a long buisness trip, but he was worried about his wife cheating on him. so he went into a sexshopwalked up to the clerk and said. bm- i need something so my wife doesnt cheat on me clerk- i have exactly what you need the clerk goes into a back room and comes out with a large wooden box he sets the box on the counter, he opens the box and pulls out a 2-foot long wooden dildo. bm- wow thats big what does it do? clerk- watch this. the clerk says vodoo** the door the dildo floats over and starts banging the door bm- wow thats impressive i'll take it the clerk says vodoobox it floats over sets itself in the box. the buisness buys it and gives it to his wife then leaves for his trip. well his wife puts it into the back seat and goes shopping thinking she'll return it. well she goes shopping but forgot to return the dildo. well she figures she'll try it out. so she says ,vodoome the dildo pops out and starts banging her she starts to swerve all over the road and she cant get it to stop. a cop pulls her over and walks up to the car. cop- ma'am are you drunk? wife- no theres a vodooin my cop- yeeeaaah vodoo**my ass

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 30 (view)

Bumperstickers Posted: 10/25/2008 6:22:02 PM
shhhhhh i'm listening to the wind whistle through your head

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Redneck jokes:Feel free to add Posted: 10/24/2008 9:12:21 AM
you know your a redneck if? some yells ho-down! and your girlfriend hits the floor

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

a hooker....your girlfriend....your wife Posted: 10/23/2008 11:19:18 PM
hahahahaha nice one

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

her parents Posted: 10/23/2008 9:41:51 PM
thx i just wish i knew wat i did wrong and wat i could have done you still be with her

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 72 (view)

What is your Bail? Posted: 10/23/2008 9:40:32 PM
mmmkay so if your skinny dipping and your high and drunk and having sex with someone you dont know does your bail multiply? cause if so im a reapeat offender whoes never gonna see the light of day again

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Funniest pranks you ever played on people or were played on you Posted: 10/23/2008 9:29:53 PM
lacitive in a poptart dont ** with me again hole. p.s. parents srry bout your couch it was not the intended target p.p.s. try it again **hole

peedonurpoptart

Joined: 3/28/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

her parents Posted: 10/23/2008 7:45:37 PM
i know your parents are a big part of you but should they really try and make you break up with the person they have feelings for. the never liked me in the first place, they said i never had a plan. a plan?! i had just gotten outta highscool! but they pushed me away from her. trying to set her up with friends from work. not letting me in the door. they pushed her so hard she phoned me crying and it broke my heart to tell her to listen to her parents and leave me even though it just about broke me. the one girl i had honestly love i with all i had.

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