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OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Saying I love you... Posted: 9/6/2006 12:39:00 AM
You have been dating the guy for 3 months. It is not irrational to feel like you are in love or falling in love with him at this point of your dating. You are saying "I love you", not "marry me tomorrow". I don't see how you telling him would make him turn and high tail away....rather it would be quite a big compliment and could take your relationship to the next level. But you know your guy best. Although I would have no problem hearing "I love you" after three months, only you have a true sense of how he would respond. However, if you are feeling love, then share it. Don;t keep it hidden under a blanket in fear of telling him, otherwise your love will just turn to resentment when you start feeling he is not returning your feelings. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

When to meet children? Posted: 9/6/2006 12:30:58 AM
They variables are such that your answer is going to depend on the children. How old are they, how mature are they, do they know you are dating, what is their view about you dating? Some children are fine with their parent dating and won't mind at all meeting the prospective date...while others will fight tooth and nail and be saddled with insecurities. My children are younger (6 and 9). As a rule of thumb, I would never introduce them to anyone I am dating unless I am ready to take the relationship to a serious level. The last thing I would want is a revolving door of women coming in and out of their lives, and teaching them that they can not trust people to be there tomorrow. In my situation, my kids know that I date. I have sat and talked to them , and explained that dating is part of the process of finding someone special to love and spend the rest of your life with. That we all have the right to, and should strive, to find happiness with another person. I also teach them that when they do meet somoene that they should treat that person with love and respect, and expect the same in return. So to them me dating is not a scary thing, but something positive. And when I do bring home someone for them to meet, they will know that it is someone I care deeply about and that I see a future with. My point is to be honest with your kids...but don't neglect to protect them from being hurt by people coming in and out of their lives. Again how much you have to protect will depend on each child and you know your children best. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives Posted: 4/22/2006 2:17:28 AM
It sounds like this guy is toxic and offers nothing but heart ache and pain. The things he destroyed and threw away are priceless memories, however, you may have to accept that they are just gone and that you need to move on without dwelling on what was lost. I know that is tough. In fact when I chose to leave my ex, I left everything behind: the house, furniture, my children's pictures, etc. But you know what? The sooner I accepted that those items were gone and I had to go on living, the sooner things began to get better. The abuse was over, and allt he material items were replacable. You are in the process of taking back control of your life. Don't get caught up on details that force you to stay connected to this guy. A couple of book sujjections that may help you: Stop Walking On Eggshells, One Way Ticket To Kansas. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

does it get any easyer Posted: 4/17/2006 1:09:01 AM
It gets easier, but it is really a slow process. The most important thing is that you live your life. Don;t just sit there a sulk in between the periods that your children are not with you. Get out of the home, hook up with friends, go to the gym, etc. DON'T JUST SIT AND WATCH THE MINUTES GO BYE. Also it is likely you are going through a period of depression because seperation and divorces are very stressful. You may want to see a therapist to determine if this is what is happening. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Should he have rights or not? Posted: 4/17/2006 1:06:03 AM
He does not have any parental rights unless a DNA test is conducted and he can prove to the Court that he is the father. So he is going to need to hire a lawyer and file a petition with the court to have preternity determined. Considering the fact that he has never been part of the children's lives and you have already moved, I doubt very much that the Court will order that you bring the children back into the original state. They may however award him parental right, and say he has the responsibility of paying for the travel expenses of maintaining the relationship with the kids. You should talk to a family lawyer...preferrably a Certified Specialist in family law. Initial consultations are normally free so it wont cost you anything to have a lawyer in line in the event you should need one. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Should a woman be restricted where she may move with the kids? Posted: 4/17/2006 12:56:28 AM
It doesn't matter if it is right or not. The bottom line is that Courts are not going to allow you to take the children out of the state without the permission of the father. It interferes with his parental rights to not see or be part of the children's lives. The Court doesn't give a crap if he is employed, lives with his mom, or any other factors that shows he is lazy...they just want to know if he can care of the kids and not be a danger to them. As long as he can do that, he will retain his rights to be part of their lives. The Court can not restrict your movement within the state. So if you want to move, then they can not stop you. However, the Court can make an order that if you move, then you are personally responsible for all travel plans and costs associated with the children seeing their father since it was your decision to leave the immediate area. And if things happen like flights delayed or the children miss a visit with their father, then you can be foudn in contempt of court. Be very careful when dealing with issues of child custody. The Courts do not take kindly to their orders not being followed to the letter. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Am I wrong? Posted: 4/17/2006 12:49:25 AM
If you truly believe that he is a danger to your child then you need to contact a lawyer and see what legal routes you can take to protect your child. It may cost you a pretty penny to get representation, but spending the money now may save your children from being exposed to a dangerous individual. I am gues the court will award him some custody of the child as they tend to not take parents out of the lives of children unless they have displayed that they are a true danger to a child. So you may have to accept that the child will be with his father, unsupervised, for some periods of time. But again, contact a lawyer...a lot of this will depend on jurisdiction and the leanings of the local courts. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

What does it mean .... Posted: 4/17/2006 12:41:28 AM
"you would`nt like me if I tried to use you for sex! it`s not nice and you`re to nice to even think it" He jumbled his words when he was trying to sound sensitive and smooth. My guess is he was trying to say, "You are a nice perosn, and I wouldn't hurt you by just using you for sex". Pretty much he is acknowledging that he is willing to date and take things slow before he tries to jump your bones I don't think he meant it as a put down at all...he was just trying to tell you that you can trust him. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

perfect??? Posted: 4/17/2006 12:35:55 AM
It was perhaps a bit strong to say he thought you were perfect for each other on the first date....but it is probably just what popped in his head at the moment. My guess is he was fishing for something that he thought would sound romantic, and it came out a bit over the top. I agree it was a bit much, and would be wierd to say on the first date...but it was probably just a line, or something he thought would make you swoon. Guess he thought wrong Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

How soon can you introduce your kids to a date? Posted: 4/17/2006 12:18:01 AM
I have to respectfully disagree. Just because something is not a physical danger doesn't mean that it won't be harmful to the child. Yes, you have to prepare them for life; however, exposing them to a revolving door of courters only teaches them that they can not depend on adults to be there for them...afterall why depend on anyone since everyone leaves. The argument that you can't protect your children from "life" seems to be the same argument that parents use when they want to allow their children to do as they please, and the parent wants to find an excuse to not have to be a parent. Hey, let them drink, do drugs, stay out all night, etc, because those things are experiences and part of "life", right? I agree that children have to be exposed to certain life experiences to help them grow and adapt to the realities of the world. However, as a parent your job is to insure that those experiences and exposures are as least risky as possible. And also that those experiences are growing opportunities, not experiencing difficulty for the sake of throwing difficulty at them. So what is the teaching experience in exposing your children to all your dates? Do they learn anything other than that mom or dad like to date a ton of people and that the man they met yesterday will not be around tomorrow? Or would you rather wait, introduce your children to someone you are serious about and teach them that relationships are meant to last???? Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Tough Motherly Love Posted: 4/15/2006 6:28:45 PM
Sounds like you got it covered I wasnt trying to be a know it all, or imply that you were were not a good mother. I am sorry if it came across that way. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 22 (view)

Tough Motherly Love Posted: 4/15/2006 2:11:17 AM
To Jagged Edge....just a little quickie about punishment. You said that you have already taken away all his toys, things that are important to him, etc. A couple of things: 1) children with special needs normally do not respond well to negative reinforcement (meaning, you do something bad and something bad happens to you, ie taking away toys). What happens is he will lose everything, have nothing else to lose, then figure "what the hell, I might as well misbehave since now I have nothing else to lose". It just becomes a power struggle you can't win, because like you said, he has nothing else to take....so he doesnt give a poop. You may want to try positive reinforcement, which means if he does something good then something good happens for him. Perhaps put him on a token system or star chart where after he earns so many stars he gets a treat of his choice (movies, favorite dinner, etc.). Then he is working for good things, rather than trying to keep from losing his stuff. See the difference. It changes the focus to behaving and following directions. 2) When using negative reinforcement, the punishment should be immediate and relate to the behavior. So if your son refuses to do the dishes then his punishment might be to have to do an extra night of dishes or something else related to the kitchen. If you do something like take away his Playstation, then he is not going to understand how the two are connected. He will just get pissed off and misbehave more because the punishment doesnt make any sense to him. I hope I have helped a little Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them? Posted: 4/14/2006 2:17:37 AM
Why is expecting physical attraction wrong or unreasonable? I agree that for a longer lasting relationship, there has to be more than mere phsyicality...but the initial attraction is almost always going to be on a physical level....whether it is a man or woman, the initial draw to another person is almost always going to be physical. I say, "almost always" because there are always exception such as for fame, stature, etc. that brings an initial attraction. But to contact a woman and say, "I am one smart guy" and expect her to swoon is unrealistic.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Tough Motherly Love Posted: 4/14/2006 2:06:07 AM
People who need the most counseling often fail to see their own need for it. May I make a book recommendation to you....pick up a copy of Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Kreger. It is a book about borderline personality disorder...but it actually translates very nicely into any domestic violence relationship. Godspeed. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

How soon can you introduce your kids to a date? Posted: 4/13/2006 11:21:18 PM
You said it perfectly Paul.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

How soon can you introduce your kids to a date? Posted: 4/13/2006 6:58:11 PM
It is impossible to put a "time frame" on when it is right to introduce your children to someone you are dating. It is going to be different depending on the maturity level and age of the child. If your kids are 17 years old they understand that not everyone you date equals "dad"; whereas a 5 year old may make that leap and immediately get attached. As a general rule of thumb, kids shouldn't be introduced until after you know the person you are dating is serious and a potential long term keeper. Your children are going to build emotional bonds with this person, and the last thing you want to do is have a revolving door of courters confusing your children, and making them wonder, "will he be around tomorrow?" That just teaches them to not trust men...afterall, how can they trust someone who smiles and plays with them one day...then disappears the next? Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Tough Motherly Love Posted: 4/13/2006 6:46:25 PM
Well, if you want an honest opinion...I think him getting insurance is small potatos in comparison to the aggression and violence that you explained that he shows towards you. Here you have an 18 year old ADULT who is comfortable putting his hands on his mother, pushing her into a corner, and being aggressive with her...and you celebrate because he gets car insurance. Really, I don't mean to cast stones, because I know that we all have our bridges to cross....but you expressed concern for other driver's safety and that driving w/o insurance was illegal. So what about assault and battery? What about domestic violence? What about his disrespect for women...because let's face it....it he can put his hands on and intimidate his own mother, he is not going to show anymore respect for any other woman that come along into his life. I personally would be much more concerned with the risk he poses to your and other women's safety. In a car, if he bumps someone, chances are they are going to be ok. But if one of these days he escalates his aggression, you or some other woman could easily end up in the hospital. Just something to think about. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

'Baggage' and dating Posted: 4/13/2006 12:45:11 AM
I think it is real easy to cast stones at someone for ducking out of a dating relationship because one of the parties has children, is going through court, or some other "baggage". And I think people miss the point by thinking that the woman who broke it off with this gentleman left because she thought his kids were "baggage". The way I see it, she didn't leave him because his kids are baggage. She broke it off because his "baggage" is that he is in a terribly stressful, emotionally difficult, legal battle that brings in more drama into their dating relationship than she is willing to deal with. Does that make her a bad person? No. It just means that she doesn't want to hook up with someone that is going to bring in a substantial amount of stress into her life. It seems to me that she is smart enough to understand that the gentleman's ex is not going anywhere, and using the legal system to stay part of his life. She also understands that the child custody issues is going to be ongoing and a constant form of stress in the gentleman's life. So why should she volunteer for this? She has no obligation to accpept this stress into her life simply to date him. She has options, one of which is to find someone without the stress...i.e. baggage. At least she was honest with him and told him that the relationship was not for her. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Why do some women ignore what might be the best men for them? Posted: 4/13/2006 12:30:27 AM
Whether it is a man or a woman, people like who they like. Yea, you could be the nicest, sweetest, most gentlemanly person out there, and yes a perfect catch for the right woman....but who are you to say that you are the "right one" for the woman that decided she was not interested in you? I would imagine that the "right one" for anyone would also include various levels of attraction. Perhaps a spark was not there for her. This in no way suggests that you were not good looking enough, smart enough, or anything else....it just means that on some level she didnt feel the spark with you. It is not personal, it is not mean...it is just what it is...not a match. I have friends that are women that are stunningly beautiful, smart, witty, and even I have to admit would be a fantastic partner. But for reasons unknown, the spark to take it past a friendship is not there, and even without kissing them, I can sense that a kiss between us would be awkward. Does this mean that they are defective or not worthy of dating...no. It's just not a match. Perhaps you should just accept that not every date is going to result in a second date. If a second date doesn't result...move on. It doesn't require an analysis of why...pick up the phone and call someone else. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

IS IT JUST ME OR AM I MISSING SOMETHING Posted: 4/13/2006 12:14:50 AM
It's called "Co-dependancy". Basically you are the personality type which will give and give and give, and never ask for anything back (or very little). The problem with co-dependant people is that they often look for someone who is very needy and self centered. Why? Because you display your love for another person by giving yourself completely to them, and neglecting your own needs. So it is not a matter of a selfish person finding you....you actually seek out a person that loves to take and take and take....because ultimately you want to show how much you care about them by constantly giving. Here is where it blows up....eventually you will want something back (emotionally usually). However, this will happen after the roles and rules have been set where you are the giver, your partner the taker. When you change the rules your partner will have a whiplash reaction and think, "Hey, no fair. I am the center of the universe and we have already established that your job is to take care of me". When they have a negative reaction to the rules change, you become resentful that your needs are not being met or even cared about. I am willing to bet 10 to 1 that almost all your relationship take this pattern (both romantic and regular friendships). The only way to break out of it is to start taking care of yourself and insisting that your need be met right from the get go. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

single parents smoking pot Posted: 4/10/2006 1:10:57 AM
I dont think it is a matter of whether a person can be a good parent or not if they smoke pot. I am a cop, and personally think that alcohol abuse is far worse than what happens when someone smokes weed. I have also seen many weed smokers that are responsible citizens and competent parents. But personal opinion is neither here nor there. The bottom line is that, unless you are in a minority of jurisdictions, smoking weed is illegal. Depending on how much you have possession of, it can be a felony, which is the same classification as burglary, robbery, ADW, and other serious crimes. It doesn't matter if you think it is no big deal, or not as bad as drinking....if you get caught smoking, there are major consequences....one of which may be you could lose your child. I have seen it happen....so anyone who says that it never happens is speaking without knowledge. By using weed you are knowingly placing your parental rights at risk...as for what? A buzz and the munchies???? You gotta be smarter than that. And that will be the argument that CPS uses when they try to take your child away, "Well she used drugs knowing that she could lose her children. She decided her drug use was more important than her child. Therefore, she has poor parental judgment and we must take the child for his/her safety." I have seen this argument used....and work. Be very careful when you decide that you disagree with laws and are not going to follow them...especially when children are involved.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

single parents smoking pot Posted: 4/9/2006 2:04:06 AM
The issue is not whether drugs should be legal or not. It is about showing a disregard for the law in front of your children and setting and example for them to be responsible adults.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Im in love with my best friend and she knows, what do i do Posted: 4/8/2006 1:52:17 PM
It is your call guy. Telling her and trying to move forward with romance will place the friendship in jeopardy. So you need to ask yourself, how much do you want to move forward. Are you willing to risk your friendship for a CHANCE of finding love? Because once you cross that line, it is awful tough to salvage a friendship if the romance does not work out. Some people can be friends after romance...but the majority of people can not. It is too hard to let go of the emotions involved, and let's face it...most break up are not mutual or nice. So weigh your optins carefully. It is not just a matter of, "I am going to kiss you". Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

single parents smoking pot Posted: 4/8/2006 1:32:26 PM
I think the bottom line is that smoking pot is illegal. Whether you personally think it is worse than booze or not is irrelevant. What you are teaching your children is that it is ok to ignore laws if they can justify their behavior or disagree with the law. You need to think about that when your 13 year old daughter comes home drunk and high and tells you, "Well mom, getting drunk and high is not as bad as coming home pregnant. I could be doing worse things." As parents we need to set good examples and teach our children how to be responsible adults....that includes following the law. If you ignore laws, and your children grow up to do the same and ends up in jail.....you only have yourself to blame. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

what do you do if .. Posted: 4/5/2006 1:13:50 AM
If you can't have him...if there is no hope...then why do you keep hoping and holding on? Many times there are things out there that we want badly, but can't have. You learn to accept that it will never be yours and you move on...and eventually forget about what initially captivated you. Remember back to high school and you had a crush on that special someone that you wanted to bad it hurt. Well where are those feelings for that person now? Forgotten. You need to do the same with this guy. If you know that it is a waste of time to pursue, the it is time to focus your attention somewhere else and move on. If this guy is playing with you, and leading you on knowing that nothing could ever happen, then he is a big jerk that gets off playing games with people's heart strings. Either way....you need to accept that you are not going to get him, have a cold and start living in the real world instead of your fantasies. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

is friendship really possible?? Posted: 4/5/2006 1:07:17 AM
Friendship after dating is tough. I am not going to say it can't be done, but you definately have to be careful about falling back into a bad dating situation, or becoming, "friends with benefits". I still have friends that were once girlfriends, but you have to be clear with one another that getting back together is not an option...otherwise one party may be holding onto the friendship with hopes that it developes into more later. It is just a recipe for resentment and eventually very bad feelings. Some people can't let go of the romantic feelings which will interfer with becoming "just friends". So if you are going to go in that direction, you just need to be very clear that friendship is all you are after...and nothing more. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

first impressions Posted: 4/5/2006 12:55:44 AM
Now come on people. How could you make such a snap judgement on a person simply because they have different priorities than you. I too am a single dad, however, I would never take it personally because a woman doesn't want to date me because I am a single father. It doesn't make her shallow or close minded. It simply means that she does not want to raise another person's children. Does that make her a bad person....no. Perhaps it makes her smart enough and confident enough to say that what she thinks, that she doesn't believe that the match is a fit. Her saying no to a date with you doens't mean that she thinks poorly of you...it just means that she is looking for a better fit. People tend to be real quick with throwing out judgements about people that reject them. People complain that some people don't want to date fat people, skinny people, women with short hair, people with tattoos, people with kids, etc..etc... So instead of just acknowledging that different people like different thing, they jump to the comclusion that the person is a shallow good for nothing SOB. When really you have no idea who that person is. Perhaps the quick snap judgements is what truly keeps you from landing the dates you seek....hmmmmm...something to think about. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 48 (view)

Ric Flair Posted: 3/29/2006 8:09:38 PM
Flair will always be somewhat of a draw, simply because he is a living legend in the ring. Even people who have not watched wrestling recognize the name, although he is not as household of a name as Hogan. Having said that, and acknowledging that Flair is my all time favorite, he really does need to hang up the boots. He is a shadow of the persona that he once was and it is simply sad to see him do some of the routines that he does in the ring today. He has absolutely no resemblance to the Rick Flair that headed the Four Horseman, and is now there more for comic relief. It is just my opinion that watching him now is sad having seen him in his ealier days with the NWA. But hey, the man needs the money. He is gonna do what he needs to do to pay the bills.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Pros vs. Joes - Does it work? Posted: 3/29/2006 8:02:07 PM
I like the show. Yea, usually the Joes get their asses whipped, but every now and then the Pros get beat. It is that basic David vs Goliath showdown that get you hoping that the Joes can come through. It is also interesting to see what other skills the Pros may have in addition to their own sport since every now and then the show changes the games up on them. I thought it was hillarious when that Joe beat Rodman shootin baskets.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Tell me why do men stay clear of single moms? Posted: 3/29/2006 7:48:39 PM
Hey there Fiesty. I think you will find that the argument goes both ways and that single dads also suffer from the same concerns that you expressed. I think what it comes down to is that many time single parents will seek out someone that does not have kids because they know how demanding and difficult it is to have children and squeeze in a social life. For those of us that have our children 50% plus it a quite a juggling act to fit a date in at times...then when you multiply that by 2 by dating someone with children of their own....it gets really tough. Afterall, what do you do if the person that you like has the opposite weeks with their kids that you have with yours? See the problem. It doesn't leave any time. As a single daddy I dont mind dating women with children...in fact I tend to prefer it because then the woman understands that the children come first (single people usually dont get this concept). But I am also up front in telling them that if there is a schedule conflict with my dating and having my kids, the kids are gonna win everytime

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

What the hell is emo Posted: 3/29/2006 7:33:04 PM
Emo music is short for Emotional punk or alternative. It came about because there are a lot of bands that refer to themselves as "Punk Rock" such as Simple Plan, New Found Glory, Reliant K, Fall Out Boy, etc. However, these bands sing about their girlfriends, having their hearts broken, etc. The hardcore punk rockers wanted to destinguish between their music, which is more for social statements of rebellion, and the music listed above. The music may sound similar in regards to music arrangment, but the EMO tag refers to the lyrical content.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

My Dallas Cowboys are sinking off to the deep end Posted: 12/13/2005 11:24:02 PM
The thing about our Cowboys this year is they are playing at the level of their opponents. When we play a tough team...we play good ball. When we play a suck ass team...we play horrible. So we are so unpredictable. I am not counting us out. We could get on a hot streak and sneak into the playoffs if the Giants drop a game or two. It is going to be interesting. If we get to the playoffs, watch out...we may step up our game knowing that we are playing better teams. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Whats up with people has this world gotten this bad Posted: 12/13/2005 11:08:58 PM
In the words of Rockwell...... I'm just an average guy, with an average life, I work from 9 to 5, oh yea I pay the price All I want is to be left alone, in my average home But why do I always fell, like I'm in the twilight zone ....I always feel like...somebody's watching meeeeee.... And I have no privicy.....

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Those court ordered parenting classes Posted: 12/12/2005 1:57:08 PM
Here in Cali we have to attend a four session class. It is pretty common sense basic stuff telling you to play nice with the ex, otherwise the kids will get thrown in the middle. I would imagine it is good information if you have two parents that are willing to get along for the sake of the children. However, too often the emotions attached to the break up place a road block in front of any constructive co-parenting. Instead parents tend to point fingers and blame...and engage in a lot of of "I'll get you back" behavior. I guess in t a nutshell, the effectiveness of the classes will depend on how well you and your ex are willing to let by gones be by gones. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

what song do you sing to your son or daughter Posted: 12/10/2005 1:14:25 AM
I have sung Ballerina Girl to my daughter since she was a baby....she is now 6 and still asks me to sing it to her. We also have our own song that we made up together that we sing to each other. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

50 50 custody? Why isnt she paying me 25% of her gross whern I have my child with me? Equal rights Posted: 12/10/2005 1:04:19 AM
Call me a trader to my fellow men, but I have to disagree with I3itch4. I too live in California, and have not gotten screwed by the courts in regards to child custody. There are two main reasons why men tend to have to pay child support more than women. 1) Women generally have a higher percentage of custody. The more time they have the kids, the more you are financially responsible for them. If you were to obtain a 50-50% custody split you will find that you are paying very little or no child support, unless you make a lot more money than her. 2) Men generally make more money than women. So the courts will try to maintian the kids at the same standard of living regardless of the home they are in. So if one parent makes substantially more than the other, the court will order child support based on descipency of income (as in my case). I think what it comes down to is most men don't have 50% custody, nor do they try to get it. So when the courts give them every other weekend and order a grip of child support, the men run out screaming about how unfair the system is. But really, it is their own fault. I make $40K more a year than my ex...quite a difference in pay...but even with that huge difference in pay, I only have to pay approx $275 a month in child support. This is because I do have 50% custody of my two kiddos. I didn't seek more time with my kids as a means to cut support...I wanted the time with my kids. But the custody support result is that the more time spent with the kids, the less support you have to pay.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Things which are Shallow Posted: 12/10/2005 12:46:15 AM
People tend to call other people shallow anytime the other person rejects them (the reason doesnt matter). Weight, money, employment, car, kids, tattoos, hair color, height...whatever. The bottom line is the rejected person feels that they were unjustly rejected because the person they liked didn't return the warm fuzzies. So it is real easy to say, "You are shallow", or "he didn't even care about who I am as a person...he just wanted a Barbie doll." But the bottom line is we all have preferences. There are certain traits we prefer, and certain traits we don't care for. Liking what you like is not "shallow", and if it is...what is the other option? To date someone you don't find attractive, let them get attached, and then drop em because you don't have the physical part of the attraction. IMHO it is more honest and humane to just tell the truth in the beginning and acknowledge the person just isn't your type. If that makes me shallow...then I guess I am. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 352 (view)

what is everyones opin on tattoos? Posted: 12/10/2005 12:30:29 AM
It seems so easy for people to throw out insults and come to conclusion about someone based simply on the fact that they chose to do something that you personally wouldn't. What kind of rationale is that? It is rather closed minded and ignorant to throw everyone with a tattoo into a big pile and say they are "low class", "trash" or some other negative conclusion. People from all socioeconomic levels, walks of life, and experiences have tattoos. Many have more education and higher paying jobs then the people that throw stones and call names. So rather than coming to some rash conclusion to assume they are in some way beneith you, perhaps you may want to reconsider your flawed perceptions. Whether one chooses to get tattoos or not is simply a choice they make. No different than coloring one's hair, getting piercing, dressing in a certain style, etc. Some people will find it attractive, and others...it won't be their cup of tea. But ultimately we should respect everyone's right to do what they want with their own bodies as long as it is not illegal or hurting anyone. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Roller Coasters Posted: 11/28/2005 12:59:59 AM
Deja Vu and Goliath at Six Flags Magic Mountain in Ca. Oz

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

SECRETS .... good or bad Posted: 11/23/2005 3:16:54 AM
Venting is not about telling secrets. Its about getting an opinion or feeling out of your head. If you get on here and say, "damn my job sucks, I wish I would get a raise or a promotion" you are venting...but what is secretive about that? Nothing. Now if you get on here and say, "My co-worker is doing my boss" that is not venting...that is gossip and telling secrets. It has nothing to do with what you think or feel, but rather only serves the purpose of smearing people that are really none of your business in the first place. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

attracting married people or people in a relationship Posted: 11/23/2005 3:05:07 AM
There is a reason why there is a 50%+ divorce rate...and much of that has to do with infedality. There is truly a lack of respect for marriage these days, and people tend to be more set on instant gratification. So they engage in behaviors such as having affairs without considering the consequneces of those behaviors. And yes, there is a large population of men out there that would have an affair given the opportunity and are very forthright about seeking that opportunity. Very sad...and in my book, they are an embarassment to the rest of us men. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Hairstyling tips for single Daddies - Posted: 11/11/2005 2:29:01 AM
All I can say is thank goodness for ponytails and pigtails!!! My little girl lives in em. They are fast and cute....toss in a butterfly barrett and we are ready to go. I am still working on the braids...and Lizzy is very tolerate, and understanding. I will get there :) Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Reformed. Cheated before, but never again? Posted: 11/6/2005 2:35:52 PM
It is possible to cheat once and not do it again. A lot of people learn from their mistakes and actual realize their morals get the best of them. If someone cheats multiple times then it is a character/personality issue and they wont stop until they find out what the root of their problem is. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Dating a divorcing Dad advice, please? Posted: 11/5/2005 9:59:17 PM
If he is interested in starting a new relationship, he will let you know when he is ready. It took me a year to get back to normal after I left my ex. Some of the wounds can run pretty deep, and take a lot of self discovery to get through. If he is just out of his marriage, I wouldnt press him. Guys wont express their hessitation...but many men take the break up of their marriage very hard...and the last thing you wanna be is a "rebound" because he will use you to make himself feel temporarily better, then want to go back to being "just friends". You wil be left there wondering, "what the f***?" Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Over 30, chances of having a date for the XMas party, of being single at XMas/New Year??. Posted: 11/5/2005 9:48:20 PM
I'll have a date if I want to take one, I don't think I will have a full time girlfriend though...

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Cleavage or no cleavage???? Posted: 11/5/2005 9:41:43 PM
I agree with your statement that a woman doesnt have to show a lot of skin to be sexy. In fact one of the sexiest pictures, in my opinion, that I have seen on POF was of a woman wearing a hockey jersey like she was going to wear it to bed. It was subtle, but very effective.

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Cleavage or no cleavage???? Posted: 11/5/2005 7:48:06 PM
But isn't there a fine line between tasteful and non-tasteful, and who draws that line? Some women have large boobs, and some have smaller ones, but what is important is that she be secure and happy with what she does bring to the table, physcially and mentally. If having big boobs is something she is proud of...how is that any different than taking a big cheesy smile picture after you get your teeth cleaned? Or how about a woman who writes poetry that posts it for all to read. And what if that poem is really provocative? Is she wrong to post? We all have different attributes that make us us. I think we just need to respect everyone's right to express themselves how they see fit. If we don't like it, we can always switch to a different profile. I disagree with the statement that a woman that shows cleavage thinks she has nothing else, thinks they are ugly, or doesnt have respect for themselves. I know some fantastic ladies that are smart, witty, fun, and love themselves as people that do dress provacatively at times. Is feeling sexy wrong? Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Cleavage or no cleavage???? Posted: 11/5/2005 1:27:47 PM
People should present themselves however they wish. Perhaps it is not one person's cup of tea, but it is for someone else. If a woman wants to show her cleavage...more power to her. To her it is one of the attributes about her that brings her attention. If is no different than a guy with muscle taking a picture with his shirt off, or if the person is into tattoos to take pictures of theit tats. Why judge someone else. Every woman has them, and most guys like looking at em. What is the big problem? Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 90 (view)

Do You Forgive? Posted: 11/5/2005 1:24:39 PM
Forgiving is more about you than the other person. You can forgive, put it behind you, and move on, or you can wallow in your past and be bitter towards every other possible match in the future. The choice is yours. But forgiving is good for your own soul. Otherwise you just gave that person power to control your emotions and make you feel like poo anytime they want. Let go...be happy. Ozzie

OzzieMan

Joined: 7/28/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Is it wrong to leave your child in your apartment for 5 minutes to collect your laundry.... Posted: 11/3/2005 4:58:57 AM
In agreement on this one. Get a back carrier and strap the kid to you, LOL. Yea chances are that nothing would happen to the child in that five minutes...but why take the chance? Freak accidents do accur, and how would you ever be able to forgive yourself if something did happen? Ozzie

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