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 Author Thread: An observation I made. Wondering if this is how women show intial attraction? Basic
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
An observation I made. Wondering if this is how women show intial attraction? Basic
Posted: 7/9/2008 6:28:05 PM
Don't make the mistake of thinking we are all the same. We are not. All women react to men differently depending on their age, upbringing, level of self confidence etc. I can tell you one thing. Most of us want men to make the first move. That's pretty much a given. Go with your gut feeling in every situation. It doesn't hurt to talk to people. The worst thing that could happen is that she is not interested. If your goal in being on pof is to meet people, then go meet them.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Sleeping with a dog (canine)
Posted: 7/6/2008 5:21:04 PM
My pets are like members of my family. They live here too. Anyone who understands and accepts that is welcome in my home. I can understand trying to accomodate someone but not at the expense of making my pets feel alienated. I would not see the point of starting a relationship with someone who didn't feel like I do.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why does love hurt?
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:29:55 AM
It's not love that hurts. It's the loss of it. It's not being in love that hurts. It's when your expectations are different than what actually happens. You'll KNOW when you're in love. Unfortunately it takes a long time to really know if someone else loves you. Be the person you are. Love someone the way you want to love them. Just don't jump in with both feet right away. Ultimate love is worth the pain of loss along the way. That's why people keep trying. Once you've felt it, you want it back. Loving someone isn't enough. You have to respect them, their space, their needs and respect the fact that men and women are different. You sound genuine in your request and I wish you luck in your search. Don't get discouraged. Real love is worth the wait.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
should a criminal background be held against a person
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:38:53 PM
Child molestation is not a lifestyle. It is a criminal offence. Why should he be able to lead a normal life. None of his victims will ever have that chance. Please run, don't walk away. A pedophile is a pedophile. Now and forever. He didn't rob a store because he had no food for his kids. He hurt children. This is a no brainer and don't let anyone tell you different. Especially him. His whole " lifestyle" as you call it is about grooming and lying and taking advantage. Don't become one of his victims.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Sometimes I think, No one person can meet ALL my needs.
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:22:54 PM
I waited a while to comment because I thought it would be one long list of posts with people agreeing with you. I'm really surprised at all the opposition. I mean we are all here. Probably because we haven't found 'the one.' I think the only realistic thing to do is fill your life with as many people as it takes to make you feel satisfied. We only get one time round. Does it make sense to be alone waiting when it could be years before you find someone? One post said we will never have true satisfaction until we find one person who fulfills all of our desires. I sure hope that is not true. I didn't hear the op insulting any past partners. I just heard her expressing her lack of luck in finding a suitable one. I didn't get the feeling she was cheating on anyone or was even suggesting it. As long as you are being honest with everyone, I can't see the harm in you living your life the way you see fit. Good luck in finding everything you are looking for.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Advice on Break up
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:10:00 PM
I think you should change your name. Uh, no, not the ross part.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
So she says she loves me
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:49:11 AM
If she is pregnant by another man and you thought it was yours, that means she was sleeping with both of you without protection. Lying to you and using you are one thing but it sounds like she could have given you alot more than a child. Get tested, thank your lucky stars she is gone and move on.Having an open honest relationship only works when both parties are honest. Good luck.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:05:44 AM
I don't think you are on here looking for opinions or advice. I think you are looking for approval. I think you have made your decision and are already defending it. We all know why you're here looking for approval. It is because you know you won't find it among your family, friends, coworkers, etc. I seriously doubt you have even told any of them. That should be a red flag to you. I hope you( or the children around you)don't live to regret your decision.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Pedophile or not?
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:53:10 AM
I looked at your profile and it pretty much says that you are naive. It also says that you have children. Do they have children? At some point if they were exposed to him would you be forever wondering, worrying? Could you ever look your children in the eye again if he did something and they found out you knew? I think you should do your homework like shadowofenigma and get your facts straight. Don't rely on the facts from him because from my experience denial and deception are a very big part of pedophilia. I believe in second chances, and forgiveness etc. but touching children is not a mistake he made. It is much deeper than that. You think you are messed up about this now. Wait until the first time you see him looking in the direction of your grandchildren.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Rules of thumb for progress...
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:04:05 PM
So I guess you shouldn't be the poster boy for this site, Mr. Internet
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Rules of thumb for progress...
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:37:52 PM
You've been on here a week and you are mystified. Give yourself some time. Rule number one. Have no expectations. Rule number two. As soon as you think you have figured out the rules, the rules will change. Only use this as one option to meet people. Every person is different and will respond to different approaches just like in the real world. Be careful, have fun and good luck.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Woman won't give out number but asks for yours.
Posted: 5/19/2008 6:53:45 AM
You want a womans opinion? There could be alot of reasons she didn't call. I work in retail and see the same customers on a daily basis. Conversation and flirting comes easy because the girl is on her turf and she feels like she has a safety net. When you asked her for her number( and in front of her customer was an err in judgement) you changed the rules. You were no longer a customer. You may have caught her off guard. Most women I know prefer if the man offers his number. It is just like driving separately and meeting somewhere on the first date. It is a safety thing.!!!!!! Women know that all men are not psychos lying in wait and they are not all stalkers. But I'll tell you something. Every woman I know has had a bad experience with a man in their past with a safety or fear issue. I know men have met psycho women too but the fear thing is not as much of an issue as it is for women. We always remember the one bad experience over the ten good ones because it really lingers with us, and now we conduct our lives accordingly. In the future I suggest offering your number, being more discreet about it and not sweating it if you don't get a call. Not everyone will be interested in you. If they were you certainly wouldn't be here. Meeting someone you are compatible with is hard. You just have to hang in there and keep trying. But I suggest not judging anyone for their response or lack there0f because you don't know what they have been through.Good luck in your search.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 207 (view)
 
Been married for 20 years, feel empty.
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:16:05 PM
I don't know everything, but I can tell you I have been there. Obviously you are not the only person in an empty marriage. Look at the divorce rate. I don't have kids so I guess it was different for me. I can tell you that I stayed for17 years, about 5 years too long. When I left I cried for two months. I told someone that I felt like my life was over and he said ' maybe it has just begun.'After that day I joined a gym and became physically strong, got two jobs and became financially strong, and started to love myself, made some new friends and became emotionally strong. I know now that I would choose to work every hour of the day if I had to over being back with him. I walked away from financial stability to a life of uncertainty and I have never looked back. It has been 10 years and I don't regret leaving one bit. I know who I am and what I want from my life. I am not in a relationship right now and I don't suggest leaving one and going straight to another. Find out who you are first. By the time you are our age you know what you need from life, what you can tolerate and what you can't. Only you can fix this and being on a computer is not the answer. The answer will come from within you.Grab whatever strength you have, make your decision and get this fixed. Life is short.You know what they say. The only thing worse than being in an unhappy situation for ten years, is being in it for eleven. You have it in you. We all do if we look deep enough. Good luck.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
is he a player?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:10:28 PM
Player or no player, should you really be talking about moving in with a man after only knowing him for seven weeks. Loneliness is a small price to pay for the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you did the right thing for your kids. Just think about how trapped and frustrated and helpless you will feel if you do this and it is a big mistake. I wouldn't even let someone baby sit my kids after only knowing them for seven weeks let alone letting them move in with me.If you are asking our advice,do us a favour and take it. RUN FORREST RUN.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 102 (view)
 
Should I Avoid Messaging Professional Women/Women That Make More Money Than I?
Posted: 5/13/2008 6:38:00 PM
Work is what you do. It is not who you are. Just because a person has a strong work ethic, has had some opportunities and has taken advantage of them, doesn't necessarily mean they are condescending. It could though mean that they are lonely. They may have invested alot of their time getting ahead and not much time socially. They may very well welcome your attention. Each person is different and stereotypes are so unfair. Alot of people on this site seem jaded about the opposite sex, (myself included sometimes). But perhaps we always look in the same place for our potential mates and that is why we keep getting the same result. The mere fact that there are so many of us on this site has to mean that we haven't all given up hope. Put on your cape and take the leap off that building. Do it with the knowledge that if you are rejected, that you are the same wonderful deserving person you were before and that it just wasn't meant to be. Good luck.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What exactly does Dating mean?
Posted: 5/13/2008 5:56:02 PM
I don't really know what it means on pof but in the real world it usually means an evening of fun without much meaningful conversation, not feeling obligated to call you the next day and seeing other people. It means that no one really expects it to lead anywhere. It probably means that the person who asks you likes their freedom to play the field and intends it to stay that way.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
How do I learn to enjoy being alone?
Posted: 5/11/2008 4:29:41 AM
Maybe you could try to become someone that you feel comfortable with. Being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Hell people can be lonely in a relationship. You have a clean slate so get out there and write on it. Join a gym or a running club, do volunteer work, get a part time job, join a church, become active in your community. Do all of those and it will give you some new circles of friends. Hang out with your buds. If you don't want to be alone then don't be. The only person who can fix this is you. You either want to or you don't. I challenge you to quit feeling sorry for yourself, quit substituting electronics for friends, and start living your life. You only get one go round.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Help-- he's TOO attractive!
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:33:28 PM
To be honest, aren't we all on here to have some company and hopefully to have some of our needs and desires met. We are all adults. If you're looking for something more then I hope you find it. What is all this about don't let him have sex with you. Fine teach him a lesson. Have sex with him. Use protection and don't wear your heart on your sleeve. The worst thing that can happen is that you got to share one of lifes moments (and sometimes moments are all we really get) with Mr. too attractive. Step off the sidewalk girl.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
A bum of a question
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:11:47 PM
You are asking if your girlfriend is in the right? You take her on a cruise, you get in a tough situation because of something she brought on, you do the mature thing and walk away. She repays you by being angry with you, insulting you and breaking up with you. I say she did you a big favour because you might as well find out now how immature she is. I think most women prefer a man who has the good character to walk away .Nothing good can come from staying to fight. Don't let someone like her make you question how you conduct yourself. I think you are doing just fine.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Should I contact her?
Posted: 5/8/2008 6:13:41 AM
You should do what your heart tells you to. About her being married though, does it really matter? Your relationship is over!!!!!!!!! I don't think that being your friend is a big priority to her, otherwise if she really was married she wouldn't have left you to find out on myspace.I doubt you will totally lose all feelings toward her for quite some time. Just try to put what happened in perspective. You obviously are very sure of what is important to you and how you plan to live your life. Try to look at things from her side just for a moment. She may have thought her feelings for you would outweigh what she really wanted from her life but after time she changed her mind. For your own sake you would be better off to wish her well and move on so that you don't live with bitterness. You don't seem like the type for 'online trickery' . Good luck with your life goals and be very careful when you allow someone into your heart that they are very clear about where you are going.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
do I ask, where this is going?
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:07:20 AM
She's probably wondering the same thing but doesn't want to push; so do both of you a favour and bring up the conversation. It is always better when both parties know where they stand.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 113 (view)
 
Golddiggers and paranoia
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:49:16 PM
Sure it is. I'm looking for a guy who can make my eyes light up when he walks in the room and who can crank my tractor once he gets there. He doesn't need a wallet in his pants pocket for that; or even pants for that matter.As for the rest, I can take care of myself.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Grown-up woman acting like insecure teenager!
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:44:19 PM
Relax! You are not the only one who has ever felt this way. It is normal to have some feelings like this at the beginning of a relationship. Anxiety is no fun and you don't want to continue feeling like this. He must think you're pretty special or he would'nt have stayed around this long but you must concentrate more on what you're doing than what he is doing. Be productive, be active, be social, and for your own sake remember that you survived without him for your first 49 years and you can survive without him for the next. Good luck.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 89 (view)
 
is it wrong to surf profiles?
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:23:25 PM
Do you think it is 'bad of you'? Are you questioning your own behaviour or is your 'great lady' questioning it? Does she know? Is it making her feel insecure in how you feel about her? If it is; sometimes it is not what you are doing but what you are not doing. Be honest with her and make sure she knows where your heart is. Ultimately it's your decision and you will do what you want. Just be careful where it leads. I know guys who started out this way and with the internet being like a drug, eventually it wasn't enough. The fact that you are even asking should be a red flag.
 sably
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:15:20 PM
In my circle of friends, being "happily divorced" means that we left. We were not left. We are not grieving the end of the relationship. We made an err in judgement and instead of living in misery, we gathered the strength and courage to leave an unhealthy relationship. We are not men haters and do not hold all men accountable for everything that has happened to us. We know that there are wonderful intelligent mature secure evolved men out there and we are glad to be free to meet them. We just want to be happy; with or without someone. We are looking forward to being held; not held back. But that's just us.
 
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