online dating service
REGISTER | MAIL/PROFILE | HELP | NOW ONLINE | SEARCH | RATING | FORUMS | SUCCESS STORIES

 

     
Posted In Forum:
Home   login   MyForums  
Show ALL Forums  
 
 Author Thread: women with a lot of male friends
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 166 (view)
 
women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 5/21/2009 10:29:21 AM
This is a funny post. Denying that just friends can have attraction to each other but STILL hold onto their values and NOT jump each other is a reality for some. I have many male friends, my best friends are males. I grew up with alot of brothers. I have female friends too but when I want to understand the man I am dating and how to handle and issue/turn him on more or whatever I am not going to ask my female friends!! I go on double dates with my male friends. We "check" out the new person and give input. I went out not long ago with my best friend and his new girlfriend. She was insecure over our friendship so I told him I wanted to meet her. When we met I whispered to him that she was hot and "good for him, thumbs up" (no I am not gay). She heard and gave me a hug and from the moment she was more at ease and we had a great time. I really like her and I am happy for my friend. He is not gay, I am sure at one point he would have slept with me if I chose. But we have become excellant friends and that is a line we will never cross. I trust my guy friends, they keep me from being an idiot with dates (usually, I am still strong headed so I do what I am going to do). I have slept with my best friend in the past. And the friendship was never the same. Sex isn't worth losing my friend. Not saying my lover can't become my friend, that is the ultimate now isn't it.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 706 (view)
 
Do women mind single dads with kids
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:20:32 AM
I think that the deeper issue for some is not the single parent (man or woman) and their putting their child first, if that isn't happening then they aren't much of a parent and it tells me that they are too selfish anyway. What I have found as a problem is how much is the ex allowed to control the relationship through the children. If you are seeing someone with children and the ex isn't too happy then you'll come across all sorts of issues and the children are often used as tools between the two. Sadly it's the kids who get hurt the most. I won't date a single father who can't get along with his ex for the sake of their children, I also won't date a single father who lets the ex make all the rules because he doesn't want to deal with anything. It's a hard situation and people often don't realize it till their in it. My ex and I are good friends. Our sons are in college but we still talk and he and his fiance often have my daughter (not his child) over to spend the night with her daughter. He has asked me advice on his stepkids and visa versa and the great thing is I like his fiance, I trust her with my daughter. All our kids feel secure because they aren't being torn like wish bones between the adults.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Having Your Cake and Eating It Too or Hedging Your Bets
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:41:01 PM

I feel sorry for his wife, after all hun you've only heard HIS version. If he ended his marriage & this other relationship, Do you think you could ever trust him??? Erm no end this now while you still have your sanity....What a loser he is, good catch my ass!




Good Catch???? Are you serious??? What in the heck is possibly good about a man who cheats on his wife, uses women, and keeps playing the same tune of bs????

This guy is in NO WAY a 'good catch'

As for you.. do you value yourself so little that you would allow yourself to be used this way, to be the "other woman" to numorous other women??
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Rebound guy / gal???
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:21:23 PM
OP, your separated so of course you'd like to have someone help you get over your ex. Seems pretty reasonably from your point of view.

But have you ever been on the other side of the coin? Unless the person KNOWS they are just there to "help you" then they are BOUND to be hurt.

Being the rebound person can be devastating if that person truly believes this is a real relationship and puts their heart out there and you just use it to "get back to reality" and then drop it once your "OK" again. It's like using someone for a emotional bandaide, once the emotional pain is all better you rip the bandaide off and throw it away.

So why in the world would anyone volunteer to be your "emotional bandaide"? It's a cruel thing to do. I refuse to get involved with someone who hasn't dealt with their past, is 'separated', ect. I believe you should have worked through your past baggage and got rid of the junk that might keep you from giving to a new relationship 100% first.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Girlfriend continues looking online
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:11:23 PM
First the fact that you made up a fake profile to catch her says so much is wrong with your relationship already. If there isn't trust and communication then there isn't much hope in the long term. Obviously you are online as well!!

When I met someone and we chose to be exclusive I immediately changed my profile and hid it as well. I still come on to forums and to check my emails, which I let it be known that I am no longer looking. I also have alot of friends on here that I keep in touch with (men and women) who are happy for me and like to know how things are going. He knows this and has no problem at all. I don't feel the need to hide that, my friends have 'checked him out' online and some even met him.

I trust him, I am not willing to try to 'snoop' or 'catch him in the act', I believe if I am feeling something is not right and we can't talk it through and work things out then no point going any further. I am not willing to degrade myself into becoming the type that is always sneaking around to "aha!! caught ya" bs. Not into the jr high games.

Thankfully I don't need to worry about that stuff anyway. It's really about trust and communication, if you don't feel you have those then you need to walk away.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Does it matter to you what your friends think of your partner?
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:01:10 PM
To an extent it does matter, often my friends can see things in my partner I may be blind too. I have learned to value my friends input and opinions.

My friends know me well and so they often have great insight into how things will go with a potentional partner. No I don't make my choices soley on what my friends think, but their input does help me greatly.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 520 (view)
 
When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:52:49 PM
SharkBaitisNemo... It's been changed to be held in the old abandoned barn.. more room!! And sweetie, our special victi... um guests are the trophies. You don't get a say so! But don't worry, they'll treat ya real nice!

And that's the whole point, since a man won't approach a beautiful woman, she must make the first contact if she wants to get to know him isn't it?

Same goes for men.


***NOTE annuddermale, does that mean you will be attending the BBQ? You are most definitely invited!! We always welcome new victi... err guests!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 515 (view)
 
When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:51:12 PM

Bring a lot of protein power shakes with you. That should distract the bodyguards!

Then you can snatch her up and stash her in the secret, dungeon hideaway that you have fashioned out of you mom's basement-using rope and old bed sheets!

With any luck, she won't have taken any women's defense classes. Otherwise, you're in for a world of sh!t because she's gonna stomping your azz and crush your balls like a cigarette butt!


SharkBaitisNemo.... That works both ways my dear!! Busy tonight? There's a BBQ going on in my basement, lots of jello and whipcream too!

I have some beautiful gal pals. They don't get approached much unless they make the first effort. I think that people automatically assume that if a person is attractive then they must be taken...
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
 
How to be unforgettable and irresistable in bed..?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:26:06 PM
How to be unforgettable and irresistable in bed....

It starts when you get up, the soft touches and smiles. The sweet gestures of making coffee or whatever.

Then keep going through the day, a message saying I am thinking of you.. need a cold shower! Something to let him know that he is on your mind in a good way.

Teasing. Go up behind him and slide your arms around his waist and kiss his neck, whisper in his ear "Gotcha", slip away and smile at him.

Ask him to dance... wrapping in his arms and feeling his breath on your neck.

Snuggle under his neck and run your tongue down his throat lightly, then step back and grin with a wink.

Let him know your wearing something sexy just for him, to unwrap later.

Tell him that you want him ... Now.

And when it comes to that time in bed, well mmm that's only to be shared with my man!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 351 (view)
 
Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:47:14 PM

I'm different...I'm really different...and how you know that is I don't want sex until I get married. I doubt there are many guys out there like me though.


Pandamoose you are different, and there is very few men like you!! Good for you and lucky the woman who capatures your heart!!!!

I absolutely believe there are good men who are looking for true love of a lifetime.

Someone who wants that special dance that lasts forever!!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 237 (view)
 
Why is a great person like you single?
Posted: 9/15/2008 2:11:10 AM

Sweetemgirl, I agree you a 100%. I refuse to settle for just any man. I have a few potential mate I thought but I am not giving up hope. I don't think that Mr. Right is on here but hopefully if nothing else I can meet a new friend. Good luck everyone


I feel the same, but since I haven't found him yet not only do I get to make great friends but get to work on being Ms. Right so when I do find him I will be ready!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Second Email Without a First Time Response.
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:27:47 AM
OP Just my opinion but sending an email without a first time response is the quickest way to get the read/delete/block!!

Not a good idea. Glad you posted this question though as I am sure it's something that might help others as well.

Good luck!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Would you wear lifts?
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:03:24 AM
It's so interesting, this thread. A fishy she/he OP, mini-nice guys, DeeBrown Shoes, Cucumbers!! So what is this question?


Would you wear lifts?

Well I have my spiked heel black leather boots that I love to wear with my levis. Does that count?

I am 5'4" - height doesn't matter. Ok yes it does, please be above my knees!

Seriously though, I would cringe at a guy wearing lifts unless for medical reasons.
And I wouldn't even ask him too in the first place. Why would he want to be with me if I can't accept him the way his is? But then, I am not so demanding that if he isn't the right height I'd make him wear lifts.

Just like the fact that I don't dye my hair, don't need too, my tits fit me well just as they are so though I like pushups don't need them. I wear very little makeup, don't need that either. I guess I'd rather not have to spend countless hours putting on my "mask". What you see is what you get, and same with my personality. If you can't understand my humor (as someone else said), don't like my opinions, well that is good to know before we waste each others time isn't it?

I think there is a thread about describing what "High Maintenance is", would all this be considered high maintenance? Just a thought.


OP - I think the men on here really want to know - Do YOU wear lifts??


I never would have thought of using "lifts". I wonder if they make you uncomfortable. Wow, this guy is thinking of all angles. Hell, why not, women wear heels.

 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Do men select women that are…
Posted: 9/14/2008 11:09:52 PM
Ohhh the thought is pretty {*** shudders***} sick.

Not one of my brothers wives resemble my mother in anyway. Yes they wanted the family to approve but who doesn't.

I am not sure where the OP's friend got his info.

Gee guys, how are your visual images? Can you see your next date - spitting image of mom? Yikes.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
help
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:34:04 PM

No matter what you say in your profile, men are still going to message you for sex.
Put in capital letters that you aren't looking to get laid and they will still message you for sex.


Absolutely!!

Don't post public pict.

Put in MUST have's not to have contacted for sex/intimate encounters

State clearly in profile what your looking for

Doesn't matter, there will still be men that will do that. I highly suggest that for those emails or IM's of unwanted requests / inuendo's for sex that you have ready a wonderfully clear shot of an 82 year old 400lb lady in a leapord thong, or for men with this problem (and yes there are men who have this problem) get one of an 82 year old nekked man in a thong and send it). I do believe this can be considered equal to blowing a fog horn into the telephone when a telemarketer calls.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 77 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:14:26 PM
This is one for women and men...

When they say they can't load up pictures on here at all but send them your email and they will send it (including a wink emocon).

Add to this they have very little in their profile that describes them, they are from another country then you (and even is unclear for sure which country they live in - saying they visit so and so all the time but really live over there).

(I AM IN NO WAY SLAMMING ANYONE IN PARTICULAR OR COUNTRY IN PARTICULAR, THIS HAPPENS EVERYWHERE)


They seem to parrot everyone, IE in forums, they seem to have no original thoughts. Whether good or bad, it's like a script or something.

Mmm those things definitely put me off. They say alot to me, and not good. Individually, no biggie but add it up...
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 108 (view)
 
no picture. Do you assume the worst?
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:06:27 PM

For me at the moment i am having trouble uploading my photo but would glady email it though. So there are ways around that lil obstacle.


Well you can always get help from the admin on this problem. There is a clear warning as to why people shouldn't send picts and stuff to private emails. If you can send through the site then there should be no problem uploading. But to send privately is asking for problems. Watched an episode on DATELINE about online scamming, some really interesting stuff.

Oh, I guess that would be assuming the worst wouldn't it.

I have private one's here, I will share with my friends. I don't care to post publicly because it gets alot of unwanted emails as so many others have said, and I find that if someone will take the time to read my profile wow. If not that's ok too.

Anyway remember the caution on the site concerning giving out private information, Start with chatting here and then get a phone number, if they can't give up a real number then mmmm gotta wonder.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
how can you tell if a man loves you, what are the signs?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:17:59 PM

I can tell when I feel I am able to stop worrying about everything. It is called the 'safety' feeling.
When I basically can speak as I feel, without fear. When my internal and external needs are met: this is when I know I am loved.

Mess. 71: yes, I agree but not completely.....it is not only gratification of a sexual needs. There are other needs, but needs indeed.
The only unconditional form of love is that of the mother for the child or that love that you feel for somebody that is helpless.


Well put Seriouslytaken, tho I think there are other forms of unconditionaly love, though rare.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 71 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:13:20 PM

MizQ!!!

Lucky (well UNlucky) # sevans was trying to be cute about twister...got him!

Oh that's another thing OP...we love games--not mind games but chess, backgammon, cards, hell, I like Monopoly!!! Games are a good thing--shows the lady who's looking you're not one-dimensional.


Ahhhh then you'll have to add MAPT as he has suggested the nekked twister thing as well!! over in the "Why do guys like to play games thread - they are coming up with all kinds of treats!!!

Shrimp/..... someone say BBQ shrimp?
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 2278 (view)
 
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:01:14 PM
LOL Keysguy... I knew you couldn't resist!

I hope things do work out for you and the "Republican Lady", and sorry about your past experiences. It happens to women too.


And what is Eddy's wish again? Uhhh yes - the 100 page goal.

As for HeavyIrons... Keys why are you so determined to see that all go down? And even if it did, HE would be MY exhubby if it went as you said (which 'ain't' happenin) He is still hiding behind the door anyway, so how in the heck would he ever manage to make it to an altar?

I guess personally, I like the site not for the reasons some might, mostly the forums and enjoy the "Adventure".
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 918 (view)
 
Why Do women dump men who are nice to them.
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:52:04 PM

OP, just read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (Glover) and you'll soon figure out why women dump men that are "nice" to them.

Attraction is not based on how "nice" you are. It's based on how you make a woman feel. And being nice doesn't make them feel attraction. It makes them feel "pressure" to like you, and maybe pity, but not attraction.

Confident, secure men don't have to be overly nice to get people to like them. In fact, they don't really think or worry if people like them or not. They are comfortable in their skin being who they. By default, the people who surround them, their friends and signficant other , will be there simply because they like that person for who they are, not what they can do for them.

Cheers.


I haven't read this book but what this poster wrote is pretty right on!!! Great input, thanks!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 67 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:29:57 PM
Oh no kidding on the slaughtered animal thing.... I am not bothered by hunting, I mean Bambi tastes great cooked right... (different BBQ), but when your holding a dead animal or fish that's just not really what a woman wants as her first image of a potential date! Unless maybe you belong to the 'Manson Family' !!

Please ... putting "Bra Inspector" as your profession, though humorous, is again something that will put women off.

That includes these and similiar:

Volunteer for Alien Abduction and Probing
Gynecologist in Training (will you help me practice)
Boob Adjuster
Phd in Sex Education

Well Whytwater and Lucky Sevan.. you were warned... I mean you are now officially invited!

The coals are hot, and hey MAPT has asked if we were interested in a few games afterwards!!!! Ummm they sound pretty "hot" too!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
 
WHY DO MEN PLAY GAMES?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:16:25 PM
How bout...naked twister

After the BBQ and Jello fight of course


JMO..playin games definetly aint gender specific..tons of reasons why they do it, but probably most likely cause they figure they can..


of course
JMHO


Mmmmm MAPT, do you have your camera ready? So no need for the babydoll pjs huh?

Are these the kind of games the OP is talking about? If so then I'm game, but only after that spectacular BBQ the Soul Harvesting Sister's are planning. Gotta take care of them "honored .... uh guests!"

Is it pretty clear to everyone that it's not a gender biased thing? Both men and women play games. Just depends on which one's you want to play... me, well I'll save that till after the BBQ. hehehe
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:39:52 PM

Tried to email you but am apparently to wrong age and gender: have just found out from another regular that excessive cross-chatting with other posters can get you banished, at least for a time (it was 10 days in her case). Peace. And caution! I look for your posts; they almost always make me laugh.


JUST wrong age (or if you have mailed others for intimate encounters/sex). And I understand the excessive chatting. It's important to always refer to the subject at which would be the question:

What kind of things put you off when reading men's profiles?

Alot is addressed in the preference section such as

MUST NOT:
Do drugs
Be married
Be looking for sex/ intimate contacts
Contacted others for sex/intimate encounters

and so forth.

The things that I will see in a mans profile before reading their message is if they have alot of sexual references. As someone already said, we already get that.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 69 (view)
 
_______ need not apply
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:29:46 PM
Sweet Lady, unless I am wrong, I think TRINB is referring to the OP so she wouldn't have to apologize.

I believe the OP is a female???? The profile has been either hidden or deleted but I am pretty sure it was a female.

So Sweet Lady, hon you might need to tell TrinB sorry, you misunderstood. That happens in here so no biggie.

As for the OP, can't imagine WHY she would disappear???
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
WHY DO MEN PLAY GAMES?
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:04:11 PM
Games?? Can I play?? I like monopoly!!

Or how about some basketball?

Poker maybe?

There's also softball, a little touch football can be kind of fun!

I really love "Tag Your It"!!!

Of course there is also Life, Win Lose or Draw, Charades....

So what are we playing????

As it's been pointed out, both men and women play games. It's your choice to be a willing participant.

And depending on the game is whether I will play or not.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Where is the line between creepy and acceptable?
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:56:43 PM

When I approach a woman I tap her on the shoulder with a finger. She turns, I smile, introduce myself and shake her hand. I've touched her twice in under 30 seconds and no one has ever thought it was creepy


Very smooth Scoundrel, very smooth.....OP, I hope you're taking notes!!
** MizQ, jemgirl & afashionlady, we shouldn't add Scoundrel to the (menu) for the soul Harvest BBQ-he seems OK ...He can be one of the waiters


I second that!!!! Scoundrel that is smooth! Where you at Safeway the other day?

Lifesajourknee - Glad your getting some help! It's great to hear that. And I think you will do well with the advice your getting. Body language is so huge. Head up and look in the eyes. Even if your stomache is in knots. Like I said, just go out and practice on people in stores or whatever till you feel comfortable. They aren't anyone your interested in so there is no real risk to you.

No you are definitely NOT beyond saving. {gemgirl smiles at the thought of NOT another whiney NG...... }.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 348 (view)
 
why do men always have to look at other women!!
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:51:07 PM
just start turning your head every time you see a nice looking guy..

haha...he will be like "what are you looking at" and you can go "huh" Wha? "all women look at men"...."it's just our nature"!!

he'll be going




I think it's interesting to read the posts. I am not bothered by it, I will in fact joke, "Hey you missed one!" Of course if it's too the point of ridiculous gawking and forgetting I am there, when he turns around he will be standing alone.

I think it has alot to do with self confidence and trust. If I am low on the self esteem and trust then it will definitely be a problem. Guys if you can't help looking at the pretty shiny things then atleast take time to make sure the woman beside you knows that you think above all else she is the prettiest and shiniest to you!!!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 2275 (view)
 
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:42:48 PM
Keysguy,

You are so funny!!

First of all it must have been a very small dish as I am starving!

And I choose to believe whatever I want, same as you!

Noone asked you to apologize, feel free to make any statement you want, but don't be all huffy when someone "serves ya back".

Funny - my bantering has been all comical relief. And you can have all the sour notes you want. You put out piggish comments for what purpose? You PUT yourself in the shark pen so it looks to me like you're wanting to get bit. And who is serving who?


Here is a test.... it's only a test.....

You say no woman will control you? I bet you have a great comeback for me!!! I will bet that you will not be able to resist coming back on and responding!!

And Keys - I am NOT yours to be giving to Heavyiron... I am no feminst but I certainly am no one's pet.

Well Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women..... it is what you make of it.

It can suck for both genders. It can be a miserable experience, it can be a start of something wonderful with someone, it can be making alot of friends, it can be fun and humorous. It is what you make of it.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 59 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:21:06 PM

sweetjemgirl....it's just been my experience that men who brag about their sexual prowess usually suck at sex....it's been mentioned by other women in the forums as well. It's like they hype themselves up as this sexual God, and then can't live up to it.

Show don't tell. Then it will be an amazing surprise, instead of a huge let down.


I hear you there!!! Kind of like seeing the previews for a movie, supposed to be so incredible top of the charts. You go to see it and even the popcorn sucks! Like your additions to what not to put on the profiles. I agree on the shirtless thing unless as someone else said, to show body art and even then do it tastefully.


Whytwater - ummmm I have set the arrows down for the moment! Velcro balls, if I am not mistaken, are detachable balls that are seen on those such as NG's who are really just passive/aggressive whiners. Because you didn't rip them off and run, she commended you for having real ones.



So...ummm..what kinda powers you talkin about??? Please elaborate


JMO..not sure what they dont like, but I just know the ladies love it when a guy puts down he's a NICE GUY on his profile..and oh yeah text speak..lots of text speak OP

JMHO
MAPT


Very funny MAPT!!! Just for that I am going to send you a pict of my neighbor in a thong, she's 82 and 320 Lbs!!!

 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
how do you spot an easy woman?
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:07:54 PM



For every woman who is classified as easy, there is the man who sleeps with her, which in turn makes him easy too. No better, no different.


My favorite post for the day^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ well put GPSweetheart.

And that is the problem with the entire post. What about the men who go after the "easy women" as they put it? Dogs in heat???

I met this lady that says "No one uses her, the men are notches in HER bedpost. But she makes it clear to them that all she wants is to use them for a toy for the moment. Though I don't really like the behavior my hats are off to her for the following reasons:

She isn't crying "He used me". She owns her choices, knows she wants physical gratification and that's all, no games.

She isn't lying and manipulating the men to get what she wants. Funny - she laughs at how men call women easy yet she doesn't have to work 1/10 as hard as they do to get her notch. Who's easy?
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
The Chess Match of dating?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:29:40 AM

I suck in playing chess!!!



Liebesfliege - Me too! ,

Though I am pretty good at Chutes N Ladders, Monopoly, Tic Tac Toe, Life, Pictionary.

The twister is fun though!

. .
You can choose to call these mind games, chess, dancing, parchesi, scrabble or naked twister if you like. Bottom line is that there is a control issue when the other party is constantly seeking the upper hand. Yeah, I did read this thread in it's entirety and
my other thought is that you are trolling for sympathy.....but that's just another one of my opinions that you won't like. (lol) If you are afraid of hearing opinions that you don't concur with......don't post. Otherwise, take it like a man because it just comes across as whiny.


The op may be trolling/whining but it brings up good points.

And sometimes playing the victim role (not that there aren't true victims) is a mindgame and manipulation of the worse kind. Doesn't matter what the game, you won't lose if you don't play the game. Though that leaves the idea of not taking risks at all doesn't it.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Saying things you don't mean
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:16:50 AM
Back to you!! It's nice to hear others who have dealt with similiar things and have WORKED to overcome them and grow... that's pretty amazing to me. No victims here!

I had a relationship with someone that made me believe in love, in beauty, in myself.

I fell in love with him the first night I met him and that never faded, it only grew.

He showed me how to trust, open up, laugh, love. He taught me that the world has good people. He taught me how to listen and speak.

He taught me to hope and dream and live.

He taught me that it was ok to be me, flaws and all. He showed me how to heal.

He taught me what a real man was... he was no doormat by any means but he was not a jerk, badguy.

RIP R
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 293 (view)
 
Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:07:46 AM
The only thing that keeps me from meeting someone would be me.

I have no problem meeting someone after we have exchanged some emails and picts. and like someone else posted - that little voice in the back of my head isn't screaming "RUN FOREST RUN"!

And another said they never felt uncomfortable meeting, I can relate to that. I am pretty much seeing meeting someone as being a potential friend at the very least. If I am not placing huge expectations and hopes on the date then things go much more relaxed and comfortable. Not the pressure that builds up when it's looked at as a "DATE".
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
how do you spot an easy woman?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:56:17 AM

Uh no... You said (compare again) that women hanging with male friends and comfortable with it are easy. Given that I have lots of male friends and hang with them whenever I can.. YOU essentially called me easy. Along with any other women who has and hangs out with her male friends.


Funny, if you were to make that statement to my friends first they would laugh their azzes off then they might want to have a private talk with you. My male friends RESPECT me. We have a great time hanging out, though I don't go to clubs, occasionally I will go with them to play pool. We laugh, I tease them about whatever hot chick is in the place ect. But we NEVER cross the line. You called me easy and others as El Mariachi pointed out so well.

So if we were to suggest that you were just extremely jealous because you weren't able to have that kind of friendship in addition to not getting any dates, AND were just looking for sex anyway... ? I mean by your statements it could easily be taken that way couldn't it? Just a thought.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 2274 (view)
 
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:40:35 AM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Wow...that's a long reply......I think I'll wait for the movie...


Get used to it!!! He likes to hear himself type.


Keysguy What the heck are you jabbering about? I am absolutely sure that Heavy knows I am joking with him. Unlike you who don't seem to have a clue.

Subliminal what? Well that's what you get for thinking... and my bathtub is spotless clean as is my home. But if I had to choose between a diamond ring from you and a filthy bathtub ring from anyone - well there's no doubt - I'd take the bathtub ring.

What's a matter Keysguy, get another rejection? Maybe they read your posting.
As for tapping that sweetjam. Mmm the words "complete frickin moron" comes to mind. Jealous that he might have a chance and you get rejections?

I think the not getting returned emails is because you come off as a whiney ng turned jackazz. So for you this thread must really ring true, unfortunately you will continue to blame it on the women and not look at yourself which is the true source of your problem.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:19:39 AM
Whytwater..... You now have arrows pointed at your back. I am not from California thankyou!! And I have no clue what concepts your talking about.

Sweet Lady - thanks! I would hope that by now I'd have learned something!

I have seen way to many redundant threads to day my head is killing me and it's taking the bite right outta me.

Repeated Topics

Favorites
Email Responses
IM's
Read/Delete
Pity/NG thread

Subject Titles seem different but the material is the same.

I am seeing how easy it is to just get so frustrated. Same problem - different person. Seriously, everyone has email response issues. Do people really think that this site is going to magically bring them their true love? Yes it's possible to meet someone on here but it's not gauranteed. So many people seem to think that since they aren't getting what they wanted it's everyone elses fault for being too shallow and picky, or they only want badazzes and not the NG's, or they just use me for sex. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
OK got that off my chest and feel much better!

I'd really like to see a guy put on his profile something that happened in his life that made a difference, some event that was so powerful it impacted who he was, or someone. BUT POSITIVE. Maybe who influences their lives the most, a specific dream they want to do, instead of describing how great they are tell a few of their flaws. Just a thought.

Wow Raiderfan, Lmao!!!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
how do you spot an easy woman?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:09:44 AM

Hcamp - what a great answer!

El Mariachi - completely agree, I have many male friends and I have never (will never) sleep with them; they're just my friends!


Heh11207 and El Mariachi - I am with you on this. I have lots of brothers and so I am very comfortable with my male friends and I do not sleep with them.

Maybe this poster has never had the gift of a friendship with a woman so can't understand how this can be.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 235 (view)
 
Men who avoid attractive women??
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:09:28 AM

Any men can have any woman he wants. Successful dating means you're going out with the woman YOU want, not the woman that LET you go out with her.

Always be the selector, not the selectee. Approach a woman and let her know you're choosing her, not the other way around. Use your confidence and add great sense of humor. Give her something different. Something that will make her think "damn, this is not one of those dumb pussies I've met so far". Be in CONTROL and dominate. By doing this, you ATTRACT a woman instead of chasing her. If you see yourself chasing her, forget about it and move on to the next girl.

It's very simple. Meeting, dating, bedding and marrying women is surprisingly easy with the right attitude. But most men **** things up. Oh well, that's how life is.



Please do reread this post. Please notice the arrogance, the terms of control and dominance. And all other statements that contradict what jeandvork is saying now.

The fact that you love George Carlin says sooooooo much. Thanks for sharing.

To respond to all your silly remarks is a waste of time. That you come off so arrogant and crass says it wouldn't sink in. But hey, you're doing such a hot job of getting all those women so go for it.

It sounds very much like your copying and pasting out of some book. Just a thought!!!???

Those women who want you to control and dominate everything? Ehhh ok, if you say so.

Pssst... By the way, it's really easy to read through your posts and find the contradictions. You can backpedal pretty fast when certain things are pointed out.

I know some very "real men" and they definitely don't go around bragging about their women, or being able to control and dominate, the cars they have ect. They have a sense of humour and can banter with intelligence and consistency.

As for my dating, well it's pretty great, enough that I don't need to troll clubs looking for others who are under the influence of alcohol so to lower their judgement when I try to hit on them!!!



Just some advice for all you guys out there - I would never give a guy like this^^^^^ the time of day! But I know that most of you guys out there have more sense than to listen to the likes of jeandvorak

Most women, including myself, like sincere and respectful men - not control freaks
Whats to apologize for, you spoke the truth...
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 2270 (view)
 
Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:32:41 AM
KEYSGUY369 Denial...

Like I said, Heavyiron couldn't handle me, and I hate to see grown men cry!

So if that were to happen then the Subject title would still be applicable:

Internet Dating: Sucks for men (Heavyiron getting his butt whipped by a woman) and great for women (Because I kick butt!!! .... )

Heavyiron, come out from behind the door, don't be afraid - I am just kidding!

And if you want me to post pictures of that I'll have to charge ya!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Where is the line between creepy and acceptable?
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:30:01 PM


Lostgirl that was great!!!

The line between creepy and acceptable?

Well I guess your first clue that your being creepy is when she flips you the bird.

Here's a few more clue's:

When she glares at you and you feel the back of your hair stand up!
When she sends her BF or other guy over to have a "little talk outside".
When she dumps a drink on your head.
When the cops arrive and ask you to step outside!

When she turns to you (as you see the adams apple bobbing in his throat) and asks if you'd like to buy her/him a drink!

Seriously OP, don't hide and skulk around corners and stuff because that DOES come off creepy. Hold your head up, look her in the eye and just say Hi. Practice doing it at the stores, library, wherever there are people in general. Just practice and so when you see someone you want to say hi to it won't be so hard.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What kind of things put you off when reading mens' profiles?
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:18:10 PM
Wow most everything has been touched on but if I duplicate it's because I forgot.

PLease don't:

Put single/divorced when your NOT. Separated is NOT single/divorced no matter how the F much you want it to be. You start of with one lie how many others will you tell. (Ok I know it's been covered but @#$#@ will they not get a clue!! --and these guys are automatically added to the honored guest list of the Soul Harvesting BBQ. }

Pictures laying on your bed with the attempt to have that seduction look - sorry it just look stupid I don't care who you are.

The on and on of how much you like affection and cuddling and what have you. Ok a slight mention once is alright but keep it up and all it says is "I will cling to you like Syran Wrap".

Pictures of things - boat, car, bike, whatever. Especially when you aren't even in the picts. And these are the fools that yell about golddiggers! Go figure.

No private picts. OK so don't post a public one but atleast have a private one to share.

B#$ching about your ex's - GET OVER IT or don't date. That simple.

List of "I wants" - ok, take that to the bank and see what you get.Especially when you don't mention what your willing to give to the relationship and I am not talking stuff.

Ummmm that's all for now as I think everything else has been touched on. Gotta go get ready for a BBQ and some jello!
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
The Chess Match of dating?
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:49:44 PM
theotherguy82 - What? Sorry but that sounds ridiculous to me. People play those games because they are selfcentered or messed up or what ever. It has nothing to do with supply and demand it has to do with an individuals character.

So a person who gets alot of emails with play games simply because they get more attention?

It is the quality of a person and who they are as to whether they will mess w/someone's mind or not.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Saying things you don't mean
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:38:05 PM

Gem, it took me a long time to get to the point where I am now, but I have to say arriving here was one of the proudest moments of my life. It is hard at times to not spit out that verbal weapon, but I have gotten to the point in my life where I can't hurt someone like that, I just walk away with my head held high and my mouth shut.


GPSweetheart, you are a sweetheart. And you should be very proud. I won't write it all out on here but please believe me when I say I understand exactly where your coming from and you are an inspiration to me. I don't always keep my mouth shut and walk away, but I am so far better then the way I used to be.

You have grace and dignity and what a victory that is. Sorry for what the person did to you, but I hope you know that you are so far above that. My ex was like that only much deeper and what I finally realized is that he had such a selfhatred that he had to hurt others and get them to engage in the battle in order to justify his behavior and feel better about himself. I pity him, and though some things still sting I don't hate him or wish him harm. He will continue to be miserable for life probably and that's his choice. I choose to better myself and rise above it. Of course I am a work in progress but it's going well considering.

Thanks so much for sharing that. I am encouraged by you, and any man that grabs your heart will be one lucky man.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
The Chess Match of dating?
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:14:41 PM
OP The thing is both men and women do this. What for? Who knows, attention, selfishness, complete disregard for others, feeling of power and control?

Maybe they are so bored with themselves they need to f with others just for kicks.

Maybe they don't know how to be in a real relationship and to them "playing games" is all they know so they don't see it as wrong.

Maybe they didn't take their meds this morning and the little voices are controlling their minds!!!

But they can't keep playing if there is no one to play with (except the little voices..... ).

Anyway it doesn't matter what they do, it's how we/you/I handle it. Do we become a willing player? Do we sit down and show them who's the best? Or do we walk out the door and find a grownup to spend time with?

The only time I like to play little games is with my kids.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
No picture, but private image(s)
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:47:33 PM

be damned...learn something new again!


Isn't life great.... all these new things one picks up along the way.



Awwwwwwwwww you guys are so cute!!

Yes private pictures!! And please that doesn't mean dirty pictures!!

Do people really think that asking to see your @#$ is going to get a positive response? READ/DELETE - of coure that's another thread, actually many.

equine - no problem!! The pict/no pict/priv pict is a big topic debate though and gets so old. Why the heck should we have to defend our choices to anyone?

It's like trying to tell someone that their choice in body size or height or whatever is wrong because it doesn't agree with mine.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Saying things you don't mean
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:25:01 PM
Of all the people I know, sweetjem definitely works the hardest at dealing with "her side of the street" -- reminds me of the old neighbor lady from when I was a kid who was outside every morning sweeping her driveway. {now attempting to climbing out of hole} It takes a very humble and honest person to look at their own actions and reactions and be willing to immediately admit their part in something without excuse


Lucky_Sevan --- You are going to ruin my badgirl image I am trying to build here! Stop it or you'll be on the invite list for the Soul Harvesting BBQ!!

And I am not admitting to running your mailbox over! I didn't do it I tell ya!! The girls stole the car, I swear they did! {thanks for the reference to the old lady down the street!!!}

OK I did it. Sorry.

Seriously, I make mistakes. Often. I try to see them when they arise and fix them. Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out but that's ok. But that is not the same as using words to try to verbally destroy someone for the sake of rage and anger. That is hate and it's abuse. I'll pass.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Is this girl a Psycho
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:16:51 PM
The main issue with controlling personalities is that if someone else calls the shots you cant be blamed for the outcome - if it fails it is their fault not yours right? well hate to break it to you, but it is your fault or mostly your fault - you allowed it to occur so the nutter in some ways may only be as far as the mirror


Lostgirl Wellput!!

OP, you make your own choices, whether good or bad they are still yours to make. If you give your power over to someone else it is still YOUR choice. Be responsible for your own actions. You made a good choice in becoming single, it's hard sure, but you'll be better for it in the long run. Look in the mirror as Lostgirl implied, take a look at where you need to work on you and get busy. You'll be stronger and better for it.

Dont be a professional victim..

Unless of course you want to go to a BBQ.
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
why do girls like to mess lads around
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:08:44 PM
Sorry OP...I was messing you around again wasn't I?

.......oh girls...start the "weenie roast" without me this evening...I'm going LIVE soul harvesting...err...dancing tonight.

.........AFL rubs her hands together...can't WAIT to see what I'll be harvesting, er, getting numbers from tonight!!!!



Got it AFL!!!

In duplicates!!

AFL you have a blast, I might be a little late myself!!

But it's all good because I think MAPT will be there with his camera ready!

OP You up for a BBQ? Awww just messin with ya!{Or are we............ }
 sweetjemgirl
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
 
where are the good women
Posted: 9/13/2008 1:05:05 PM

My apologies, I do not recall him from my past foray into the pond of POF .. many new faces and many old ones gone it appears

Maybe the old ones found the good women that Mumbojumbo calls fat .. really do wish he would have asked before he copy pasted my "about me section" .. hmm maybe that is why I dont get many responses - possible self depreciation based on idiot men with unreal expectations perhaps?




Lostgirl, don't worry about Mumbojumbo, he's one of our honored victi.. um guests!!

Hope to see you at the BBQ where all the "good women" are!!
 
Show ALL Forums