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cds0688

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 6 (view)

Confused about someone Posted: 5/23/2008 4:45:26 PM
No, if I like enough to kiss and hug that will continue, if later find that persons not right for you it's best to tell them and go your own ways. There is a sort of exception, I went on a date about 6 months ago, we got along really great but both knew no romantic feelings. We've become best of friends, only time that's happened.

cds0688

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Ever Feel Like your Body Betrayed You??!! Posted: 5/23/2008 4:27:30 PM
Just par for the course for the better than thou. Yep a theme of every post.

cds0688

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

What is your real goal for dating? Posted: 5/21/2008 6:10:24 PM
My goal is to meet a lady that she and I both click on all levels and learn about each other and eventually become a "couple" for many years to come. Do I think that will happen? Who knows, last lady I was with for over 5 years I met on a pay site that starts with "m" so it's possible.

cds0688

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Long Term Dating From POF.. Posted: 5/21/2008 2:10:15 PM
"Hi, I have given up on POF after one month. It quickly became apparent to me that everyone on this site as some "issues" they need to deal with. POF seems to be full of people who are unable to sustain a relationship for various reasons, low self esteem, inabilty to communicate on a social level, baggage, single mothers who seem to think they are a "catch", fat ppl, obese ppl, generally the fish that got thrown back into the pond cos they werent good enough. I think i will take my chances in the real world with real people." Sure glad you are not judgemental

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 22 (view)

Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age? Posted: 5/18/2008 9:58:32 PM
I'll only date 5 years either way, now let me go into the tough part. I like women around my own age because I feel I would not have much in common with a woman much younger, but it is hard to find flexible women my age. I listen to alot of different rock, some kind of soft like Fiona Apple and Edwin McCain, some a bit hard but mostly newer like Nickleback, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, White Stripes, then I'm also a fan of heavy rock like Blue Oyster Cult, Judas Priest, Metallica. Not many around my age listen to such diverse music. I also started growing my hair out (hey, 22 years in the military I'm probably rebelling), not many my age like that either. I decided to go to school for medical field (not much use for what I learned as Military Police unless wanted to be a 40+ year old rookie or Security which I did for awhile and was BORED out of my skull), so not a heck of alot of money right now but a little to play around with, most women my age want someone established in thier career. So I'm finding it pretty slim pickings myself.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 2 (view)

Date txt msgs constantly through date Posted: 5/17/2008 6:33:31 AM
Some people are completely addicted to thier cell phones I think. I'm lucky if I use my phone once a day and text something once a month.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Why misrepresent yourself? Posted: 5/17/2008 6:29:48 AM
Happened really only once some years back. Should have known only pic was in a one piece. When we met it was obvious was REALLY old pic as she truly was as round as tall. Met at a mall which she brought her 2 small children to (nothing against kids but on first date?). While we were there eating some hot pretzels poor guy who was about 70 was sweeping somewhat close to us, this woman went off on the poor guy. Well I stayed polite and after couple hours politely told her was nice meeting her but didn't think we were a good match. Went home and found just really nasty email from her. Worst date ever I think.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 56 (view)

Friends, after a break up??? Posted: 5/16/2008 9:41:35 PM
My last, together for over 5 years and I are pretty good friends. Call each other around once a week, went over for spaghetti or watch a movie. Just a hug when leaving, she's a good person (even if she broke up with me LOL).

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 13 (view)

Ladies, how do you cope? Posted: 5/16/2008 9:33:22 PM
As a guy I've had that happen once between marraige and last LTR. Met a lady, she was all into numbers and such like birthdays and all. Said we weren't compatible as a couple but said hadn't had sex in a long time and just wanted that. So that night and one other and went our own ways (too bad, it was good sex )

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 330 (view)

The myth of doggie style Posted: 5/16/2008 5:18:33 AM
No, wouldn't even have the sex if she didn't do something for me. Guy must just do anything that comes around, would say that's pretty shallow.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Are manners dead? Posted: 5/16/2008 5:13:02 AM
I too am from the south living way up here in New England and I find far less manners here. Have had after a date one time not answer email or text or phone even though date went ok (no groping LOL). Have had email women few times and reply then they suddenly disappear, alot of email that I'm interested and just see they "read, deleted". A polite not interested is not very difficult to do and I've done that before so why the rudeness especially up here? I'm still of the mind of opening doors, ladies ordering first, etc. and it doesn't seem to be appreciated like it was some years back.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Why ask you out then cancel the day of? Posted: 5/15/2008 3:02:59 PM
Have had this happen a few times with same lady, kept saying really wanted to meet, blah, blah, blah. Gave up.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Inviting self over night Posted: 5/15/2008 2:44:49 PM
This happened to friend of mine. Her ex-bf dumped her couple weeks ago citing he had "issues" he had to deal with. She stayed friendly with him and they went hiking or something, went back to her place where they both sat on couch and she had been telling of a scary situation she just had to deal with from ex-bf from way back last summer. She just had to get a restraining order because he had started threatening her and trying to extort sex from her. This guy never hugged her or gave her any sympathy and then this guy says he wants to spend the night because it was late and it was couple hours back to his house. She said sure sleep on the couch, this guy says no I want to sleep in your bed with you. She said she was very good at not laughing at him but that no that wasn't going to happen, he left LOL. I have always felt it is the woman who should invite if it's her place.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 110 (view)

Nurses Oh them Nurses Posted: 5/15/2008 1:34:11 PM
My ex GF of over 5 years an RN, she must have not been typical, then again she was on prozac so coulda been alot of the problem also.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 18 (view)

Low maintenace? you decide Posted: 5/14/2008 7:13:57 PM
Hmmm, I have in my profile retired Navy, full time student working part time. Know how many responses I've had? Zip. My female friends say sell myself by leaving out full time student etc. and let a woman meet me first (they say I'll make such a good impression with my manners and conversation that then they would not look so hard at the money, or lack thereof). I' m a straight forward person and believe in honesty first and foremost so it stands as is. Did an experiment and had different profile with different info, same photo, got responses. So even though I do have enough to have a good time I think women in general these days, especially my age bracket are very materialistic. JMO

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 40 (view)

Staying friends with someone you have feelings for Posted: 5/14/2008 1:35:06 PM
My last LTR of over 5 1/2 years she ended. I stayed at the house a few months which was strained but after moving out we're pretty good friends talking couple times a week. I've been over for dinner and hung out, hug on leaving. Sometimes it's hard for me as I do still miss her sometimes but the friendship I think will always be there and I know they'll never be more and I'm good with that.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 16 (view)

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DUMPED VIA EMAIL?? Posted: 5/10/2008 5:29:29 PM
Yes I have. Only once but I haven't dated alot either. Would have rather by phone at least, at least more personal.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 11 (view)

How you see yourself in 10 years from know? Posted: 5/10/2008 5:13:31 PM
Doing my job that I enjoy, and hopefully not alone.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 63 (view)

Would you do it again Posted: 5/9/2008 7:34:21 PM
Would I do it again? Yes, maybe some things differently but I have 3 great kids (ok, not so much kids anymore at 23,21 and 17). Even last relationship that lasted over 5 years and still hurts some because for quite awhile it was really good.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 184 (view)

Why don't you like to provide oral sex? Posted: 5/9/2008 1:18:31 PM
My ex couldn't cum any other way. She loved to recieve but didn't care for giving, what's up with that? and that's not even close to why she's an ex. Also I love giving, it's a huge turn-on to see a lady react to what I'm doing and enjoy it.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 44 (view)

Would you date someone on antidepressants? Posted: 5/6/2008 6:49:05 PM
I have no trouble with those on antidepressents at all for just depression. My ex GF was bipolar though. I went through the cycles with her for over 5 years. Her manic cycle didn't last near as long as her depressive, maybe month and a half and she felt so good didn't take her meds, then when coming down from the manic she self medicated with alcohol, large doses and alcohol doesn't agree with her. Made for scary times. Was living with her still even though were broke up quite awhile last New Years, she had been coming down from manic. I was working, her 14 year old daughter was with friends and on break saw I had 2 voice mails. One said come home if I can, other said she wanted her daughter to live with her father and she wanted this to look like a suicide. I left work, hurried home, a friend of hers already there. Daughter calls asking me what's going on because she had wierd voicemails from her mom. I picked up daughter and we babysat her all night on New years eve. not a fun time, she had drunk a large amount. So maybe a bipolar if they continue taking even thru manic but not if they quit during that stage.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 15 (view)

Too soon. Not soon enough. Too keen. Not keen enough. Posted: 5/6/2008 6:33:30 PM
I've had it happen on 2nd date (ok, just once since haven't dated much yet since last LTR). Usually within 5-7 dates which seems earlier than in my earlier years. I'm usually not the one pushing the issue, it's usually the lady. I don't mind, mind you but wouldn't bother me to wait a bit longer either.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 34 (view)

long distance - weekend only dating Posted: 5/3/2008 9:47:20 AM
Tried it once, only about 2 hours away but doing the only weekend thing just didn't work. Plus really can't do EVERY weekend because people do sometimes have other commitments they need to do once in awhile, visit kids or relatives, other social engagements. Just had too much time apart to make it work.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 24 (view)

Dazed and confused Posted: 5/3/2008 9:43:35 AM
Been fortunate enough that if no "chemistry" by one or the other on 1st date either I said so very politely or she said so, also politely and just wished each other luck and parted (except for the obnoxious one I mentioned in another thread

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Men saying they are so interested. Posted: 5/3/2008 9:36:41 AM
Men are visual creatures. If a woman has a couple of pictures already on and they appear recent I would not ask for pics. I will ask for a picture if they have none posted, I would like to have SOME idea of what they do look like. Men and women both dismiss based on looks so not going to get into that arguement

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 45 (view)

We Shouldnt Be On Here Posted: 5/3/2008 9:17:59 AM
I think a site like this is good while looking for someone but after that I would be hard pressed to want to stay on for the forums. They are fun and a way to pass some time but after finding someone I think it would be boring.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 5/2/2008 10:38:20 PM
Thank you all for your input, just wasn't ready for the personal attacks but only a couple of those. We've been talking and going to go slow and easy, just see what happens.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 29 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 5/2/2008 11:16:41 AM
(I can clean up well and have manners though I prefer casual situations and clothes). Saw this in your profile…. Anyone that says they can clean up well says a lot about where they have been to now. and Runs_With_Wolves, sorry if I don't wear a suit every day and though I've dined in very upscale restaraunts I'd prefer not to. I had to dress in uniform for 22 years, had no facial hair, had nice short haircut so if I'd prefer to be more casual, both in my personal appearance and dress I really think I should have that right. Thank you very much in being able to know who I am and any intentions I may have by reading a profile, you dear lady should be winning the lottery with your clairvoyant abilities.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 28 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 5/2/2008 10:57:51 AM
Actually it went well. Had dinner, talked quite a bit and enjoyed each others company. She called yesterday and said would like to do something again, she suggested Sat but I'm working this Sat so maybe next week. We talked about if things go well for awhile THEN a good idea to talk to her son together. Also she said her prognosis is very good, she's a pretty strong person and says what's on her mind so if she felt uncomfortable she would have said. There sure are alot of people on this forum, and the other forums who jump to conclusions and like to bash on others. Read couple threads in the "ask a woman" forum, brutal.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

Single mom with a couple questions! Posted: 5/2/2008 8:49:49 AM
Best thing when you really know it's not going to work anyways is cut that tie, if he loves his daughter he will be part of her life, you do not have to be except communicating on when to see etc. If you keep trying to make it work and keeps not working that hurts your daughter more than if you are not together. JMO.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

sugar mommy? Posted: 5/1/2008 7:59:40 PM
I think I'd be bored to death having someone take care of me, might have to start drinking just like my ex-wife (she didn't work a day in 18 years but she sure did like to spend along with the drinking)

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Hurt games men play on this site, any other women experienced this? Posted: 5/1/2008 7:26:20 PM
Every dating site has people like that. Have experienced harrassing phone calls, used to give my number more easily than I do now.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

Is age really only a number Posted: 5/1/2008 7:17:25 PM
Age is just a number, but, you also have to have things in common. At 45 I would not go out with someone younger than probably 35 nor older than 55 as I don't think we'd have the same interests.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 7 (view)

New relationship must haves Posted: 5/1/2008 7:06:39 PM
Wouldn't know, haven't had a new relationship in awhile

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 57 (view)

Anyone MIss the 60's and 70's? Posted: 4/30/2008 2:47:06 PM
In a word, NO, I don't miss those days. Yes I had some real good times but was a teenager then and after I grew up a few years in the Navy I went back and saw old friends. They were still the same as high school, working to blow thier money on the weekends. No glad grew up and out of those fog filled days.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 21 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/30/2008 10:42:35 AM
Not when she's calling and emailing me without my asking her to, her idea to go out tonight. Will let ya know how it went.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 19 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/29/2008 6:21:59 PM
Told her just that, if no romantic relationship developed would still be a friend she could talk to any time. My best friends always seem to be women, and I don't think I'm very feminin One good friend is someone I went out with once, no connection but we're great friends (called me when her last boyfriend dumped her at 11:30 one night).

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

how do you feel about meeting middle aged men who have only slept with one woman in their lives? Posted: 4/29/2008 6:16:14 PM
Haven't been with a whole lot of women having an 18 year marraige and a 5 1/2 year relationship, couple between them. I wouldn't look down on a woman for having more sex partners. Everyone has had different experiences. Would not hesitate with a woman who only had one partner at our age either.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 17 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/29/2008 6:06:52 PM
Lady called today to apologize for her son and his friend and said she really doesn't understand that guy's problem and that thier over-protectiveness has to stop. Said easier if she calls me so son doesn't answer and looking forward to our next meeting. Yes, been some obstacles and I've said all along to her that really won't know if there's going to be a romantic connection until spend more time together. My friends are split too, couple say just been too many obstacles and not worth it, couple say may as well see where it goes. I'm going to see what happens.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 14 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/29/2008 5:30:14 AM
We were talking before she even knew about the cancer, no not wanting to be her "savior", just that I'd not run away because of it. Breast cancer has a very high % these days of survival. Figured some bashing would come sooner or later.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 12 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/29/2008 4:45:07 AM
Did tell her that I was going to stop by so was not completely unexpected. She did give me her address. She had said she was closing herself off but glad I was hanging in there and I had told her that closing herself off would be worse and said I was going to come see her and said I could so not like I've been stalking her. She was genuinely glad to see me and after I left is when said where and when she wants to see me again.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 9 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/29/2008 4:35:44 AM
I too am hoping they are not taking advantage of her. Yes, I've thought about no drama but I like the lady and it's rough for her right now and she's depressed about her health situation. Her mother and father both gone (she had helped take care of her father who used to own the house next door) and has 1 sister in Maine that doesn't get along with all that well so I figure if nothing romantic does happen can at least be a friend and give some support. Still somewhat friends with ex-wife and real good friends with ex-gf of 5 1/2 years so know I can be friends if doesn't work out. Wanted to meet her long before the "C" so it's not just that I feel bad for her, just something about her, don't know what it is.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 3 (view)

Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women? Posted: 4/28/2008 6:21:29 PM
Just out in public many probably think most are taken if not married would be my guess.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 1 (view)

Strange situation Posted: 4/28/2008 5:35:32 PM
This will take awhile to write. As I said in another thread there's this woman been emailing and talking to on the phone for about 3 months. Finally met her yesterday and we're going out Weds evening. I had gone to her house finally because she said she'd been depressed going through chemo with breast cancer. 1st time I went to the house a guy about 19 or 20 answered with another kid about same age, guy said she wasn't home but I knew she was, car was there. Couple hours later went back, she came to the door, said just had chemo Friday and didn't feel real well and had been sleeping and said was going to tell her son she didn't want people in the house when she's sleeping. So anyway we talked, hugged, so forth. Said wanted to go out with me Weds. Said those guys live 2 doors down and protective of her 12 year old son because they lost thier father about same time her son lost his father. Now to today, I called and that guy answered and asked if I was same guy as yesterday and I said yes I am, he says do me a favor and don't call again. I told him I knew who he was and that she can do what she wants and who is he to her and he said I'd better just leave her alone. I called back and she answered and immediately apologized and doesn't know what's wrong with that kid except that maybe he feels that her son would be upset if she went out with omeone. Very strange and just wanted to write it all down. Very interested in the lady and she seems equally interested but concerned about this guy maybe hurting her if he's trying to speak for her and run people away from her.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 39 (view)

How long is too long to wait before meeting after first contact? Posted: 4/27/2008 4:49:12 PM
Well it seems the waiting was a good idea. We've met today and going out Wedsnesday so seems to be going well.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 35 (view)

How long is too long to wait before meeting after first contact? Posted: 4/26/2008 9:42:24 AM
Normally I meet within a few days to a week after some emails and couple phone calls. Currently there is a woman have been emailing and talking to for 3 months and haven't met. Few different reasons, ex not picking up her 7 year old daughter on weekends, then not long ago found out she has breast cancer and has been hesitant on meeting and bit depressed about the chemo and all. I'm not being played (used to be a cop and kinda know from the voice). I took the initiative yesterday and just went to her house (she had given address long before), she wasn't home so played with the dogs a few minutes and left a note saying I had been there. Was very worried she'd be REALLY P.O.d about my just showing up but turns out she wasn't and apologized for not being home. We're going to finally meet this week, will see how it turns out with having waited all this time. The quick meets haven't worked out so hot so maybe the change of pace and knowing more about each other will be good, we'll see.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 99 (view)

how many times Posted: 4/24/2008 1:01:59 PM
Twice, so far. who knows what tommorow will bring.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 4 (view)

Easier or harder to experience heartbreak as we get older Posted: 4/24/2008 12:54:39 PM
I think it might be harder. I ended my marraige of 18 years (too much alcohol, not on my part). But my next relationship was over 5 1/2 years. One week she talked about the timing of when we should finally get married, 3 weeks later told me she loved me but "not in love with me". Had wanted me to stay in her house while I was in school but after couple months was just too uncomfortable for both of us and I moved out. We're still friends, talk maybe once a week on the phone, I ask how her daughter is who's 14 (I'd been in her life since 8) and we see each other at work sometimes (she's a nurse where I work currently). It's been quite awhile but I still miss her many times, so yeah maybe when it comes out of nowhere it hurts even more, when you thought things were pretty good, normal ups and downs and then wham.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 757 (view)

Long hair on older women Posted: 4/23/2008 4:43:33 PM
I too love long hair on women of any age. seems most around my age go for short I suppose for ease to deal with.

ota student

Joined: 4/15/2008

Msg: 388 (view)

Is kissing more or less important to you in a relationship as you get older? Posted: 4/21/2008 5:25:52 PM
I love to kiss, closest thing to the one other more intimate thing 2 people can share together.

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