Is money really that important ladies? chat & forums.

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just a man in toronto

Joined: 4/21/2008

Msg: 795 (view)

Is money really that important ladies? Posted: 7/4/2009 9:29:47 AM
As for if I look for it in a prospective partner? No, I don't care if you have a Harley, a boat, an RV, a Corvette, and a house in Florida. If you are smart, show some thought went into the writing of your profile. If it makes me laugh, or if it shows sincerity. If you were born sometime before the Beatles appeared on the Ed Sullivan show I wouldn't care if you drive a 30 year old Pinto wagon, and live in your parents basement. It's who you are, not what you own, or how much money you have that matters. Oh come now kissme. You are sounding just a little bit naive here. You don't think the material things one owns are not a refection of who they are? You don't think that if a person who lives in their parents basement at the age of 45 or more, that this does not reflect who they are? It could mean a number of things of course, but it does mean something. Are they looking after their parents who may be infirm? Or they emotionally and financially dependent on their parents? Have they any interest venturing out, perhaps even moving out some day? A women who is overly materialistic or who lives in the parents' basement, that would be a red flag for me. I don't find someone who lists "shopping" as an interest to be very interesting. These things all suggest a different set of values. And values go to the core of a relationship.

just a man in toronto

Joined: 4/21/2008

Msg: 36 (view)

Does chemistry happen immediately? Posted: 7/4/2009 8:53:18 AM
I've found that the older I've gotten the less looks play a part in how I feel about a man. In the LDR I am in now, we have yet to meet in person but I truly love WHO this man is. I love his spirit, his intellect, sense of humor, his very essence. Not meeting for a while has given us time to really get to know and like one another as people and friends. We aren't in love with each other's looks. We are in love with each other... period. Forumfilly, if that works for you, then that is great. For myself, I am not willing to invest so much in a relationship without meeting a person. It is possible that the love and attraction will not translate into a face-to-face relationship. The chemistry of a relationship is based on a lot of things, including physical appearance. I am sure this is true for many people, both male and female. But I suppose for some people out there, it is irrelevant.

just a man in toronto

Joined: 4/21/2008

Msg: 229 (view)

Is Sex all that Everyone thinks about? Posted: 7/4/2009 8:31:55 AM
We need to free willy that's far more important. ( the way he slapped my azz and licked my) Well maybe you can work something out then. You free his willy, and he'll slap your azz.

just a man in toronto

Joined: 4/21/2008

Msg: 228 (view)

Is Sex all that Everyone thinks about? Posted: 7/4/2009 8:25:40 AM
Wow! Who have you been hanging out with? As others have already stated, sex is important to all mammals. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be anyone here. So I think we can take it as a given that sex is important, except for a few asexual beings. But I would think that with the 40+ crowd, they would have learned that a little bit about delayed gratification and also that there other important things in life beyond sexual gratification. I am frankly surprised that you have come to this conclusion about older men. The only way I can make any sense out of that, is to speculate that perhaps some of the men you are meeting are on the rebound from a bad marriage and are still (hopefully not permanently) gun shy about getting involved in a more meaningful way. For myself, sex is nice, but I find it is a more intimate experience with someone that I know better.

billiboy1

Joined: 4/21/2008

Msg: 26 (view)

First Date - Should It Be Special?? Posted: 8/17/2008 10:15:24 AM
If you're with the right person it will be special anyway.. IMO, it should be doing something concerning a common interest, rather than just "going out". I think rivereye has the right idea here. The first date (after the meet and greet) should be doing something that is mutually enjoyable. But I would add to that. There is something very elemental about breaking bread together. So whatever the activity is, be it a movie, a walk/hike, a ski, a swim, a theatre, a comedy club...that can be followed or preceeded by a light meal and/or drinks. Well that is my style anyway. To each his/her own. But to go to a heavy duty romantic setting, expensive restaurant, or even a patio for drinks and a 4 hour chat seems like too much pressure for me. Maybe if it is your soulmate, that will work. But I would prefer to build a relationship through a mutually enjoyed activity along with some quiet time to talk and get to know one another.

billiboy1

Joined: 4/21/2008

Msg: 31 (view)

Girlfriends mom living with her forever... Posted: 8/17/2008 9:50:27 AM
OP are clearly in a difficult and complex situation. And I understand where he is coming from. Compromise is required to find a solution. If the relationship between mother and daughter is abusive, then gf needs help in managing that relationship. Can you look at having the mother in a separate adjoining apartment, but with clear rules about when it is appropriate to visit? If your gf's expectation is that you be brought into this abusive relationship too, that spells doom for the relationship. What about you also taking language classes to learn to communicate with mother? And mother taking classes to learn English. And spelling out expectations that mother find social outlet (perhaps seniors program at community center) other than her daughter. What I am saying is that to just move in as you describe it will not work, as you seem to recognize. That would be 100% compromise by you and no compromise by daughter and mother. That would be you moving into and taking on something that is not working at all well. So figure out what limits need to be defined in order to make it work. The relationship you descibe between mother and gf is way disfunctional. It needs to be managed in a healther way. That is very commendible that your gf is so committed to caring for her mother. But she is asking too much of you to show the same commitment to an unhealthy relationship. If your gf is so unhappy that she is frequently in tears from dealing with mother, then hopefully she will be happy to have your support and help in redefining the relationship so that it becomes healthy. If not, then it is time to move on for both of you.

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