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louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

A Romantic Letter Posted: 3/22/2006 6:58:25 PM
sorry, louispionte = electric_sheep. I've got like 10 different profiles on here. D) Multiple Registrations are prohibited and are grounds for immediate Account/Profile Deletion. Forum Rules - Specific

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

A Romantic Letter Posted: 3/22/2006 6:34:35 PM
@jwa thanks. I'm pretty sure this is the correct answer. :) Thing is, I'm almost positive she wants to patch things up as much as me, she just has this stubborn and manipulative streak in her. So, I think she is just making me sweat. Frustrates me. As you've said, I've done all I can. It is out of my hands.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 251 (view)

How many of you would read your lovers private e-mail ? Posted: 3/20/2006 2:03:17 PM
Emma Goldman once said, "All lovers do well to leave the doors of their love wide open. When love can go and come without fear of meeting a watch-dog, jealousy will rarely take root because it will soon learn that where there are no locks and keys, there is no place for suspicion and distrust, two elements upon which jealousy thrives and prospers."

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

To tell if someone is lying to you Posted: 3/16/2006 8:14:19 AM
also you can not remember a lie but truth has a history so liars always come undone, it takes a little while at times That is very much true. If you have a good memory, you may notice that certain details about the liers stories tend to shift and change over time. They often forget the details about what they told you a long time ago, and hence screw up and tell you something contradictory. Also, it helps to keep in mind that often liers don't out and out lie. Rather, usually what they do is massage the truth into a more palatable or interesting version. If it's just exaggeration for the point of a good story, no big deal ... but if it's changing details for their own nefarious purposes, that's a ****. Example: I was out till 11 with Sam, when you were really out till 3 with Sam AND Nicole. If you want to lie successfully it helps if you have a good memory. :)

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 80 (view)

Why wanting equality makes women unhappy - discuss Posted: 3/15/2006 8:58:22 AM
It's ridiculous to try and speak generally about something as broad as feminism. There is not one universal set of ideals that are "feminist". I think RV is a little over the top, but there is a kernel of truth to all his clap-trap ... and that is that there is some backlash to white males due to them fcking the world up for the last several thousand years. You definitely run into some women with a bit of a chip on their shoulder because of this. I don't think it would be completely out of line to say some of the more ominious and threatening aspects of hip-hop culture may be a result of this too. Not very PC, I know. As for fcking the world up ... I'm not sure women would have done any better (or the Chinese, Africans, Amazonian tribesmen, or whoever), but hey, the fact is it's mainly white male Europeans that have f*cked it up. So I guess a little backlash was unavoidable.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

To tell if someone is lying to you Posted: 3/15/2006 8:34:10 AM
I don't believe there is any one tell-tale sign that can accurately determine whether someone is lying or not. Here is a good article on the subject however. I did some research on it when I caught my SO in a blatant lie. http://www.askmen.com/fashion/how_to/58_how_to.html And here is an interesting article on HOW to lie: http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/lie/lie.html It supports much of what the first article says.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

Staying in Love... Myth or Scientific Reality Posted: 3/14/2006 8:25:00 AM
Science has indeed given it's 2 cents on Love. There are 3 stages: 1) Lust. This is driven by testosterone, which is present in men and women, but in unequal amounts of course. This is responsible for that initial "chemistry" people talk about. 2) "In Love". This is driven by norephinephrin, serotonin, dopomine, etc ... Scientists in Italy have shown that this "in love" phase seldom lasts more than 1 year. Many people break up after this phase. 3) "True" Love. It is generally believed that this is driven by oxytonin. A couples ability to cause each other to produce oxytonin largely determines whether or not they will create a lasting love. Oxytonin is produced in childhood when a baby is nursing by the way, and is why nursed babies bond so closely with their mums. They also say couples that are in love produce oxytonin during sex, which accounts for why couples that have good sex together stay together. Of course, no one knows WHY these chemicals are involved, or what causes our brains to become swamped by them with one person and not another ... so there is still plenty of room for mystery (insert God, soulmate, whatever). There was an article in last months National Geographic about this. For the interested.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Do folks on POF treat you like friends or foes? Posted: 3/14/2006 8:14:16 AM
There are a lot of really rude people on the forums. It's not just POF though, it's just about everywhere on the internet. I remember being really shocked by how rude and abrupt people could be when I first started visiting forums/newgroups/BBS's 8 years ago or so. The impersonal and anonymous nature of the net brings out the worst in people. There are also cool people here too, of course. :)

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

waisting time? Posted: 3/14/2006 8:06:35 AM
I'm going to go against the majority on this one too. The way people spend their free time speaks volumes about them. I guess I've just reached the age where I'm not interested in girls that are amused by dressing up and spending the evening in loud and smoky bars/clubs. It's not an issue of insecurity, it's just an issue of having similiar interests and maturity. I won't knock people for waiting to spend their free time this way ... it's just not for me. BTW, I would be much more impressed by a girl that spent her evenings in the library. Or looking up country profiles (Moldova) on wikipedia. I had a girlfriend once that made me learn all the capitals of Europe ! Now that is hot ...

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

waisting time? Posted: 3/14/2006 7:58:40 AM
@YamIhere For some reason everyone on this site always forgets the 3rd option, and the most glaringly obvious one ... 3rd option: Switch gears. Stop caring and worrying about the relationship so much. Enter what I call the "just enjoying the sex" phase of the relationship. And keep your eyes peeled. It's about time somebody around here stopped giving a damn and just said it like it is. p.s. Seriously though, if you truly think she isn't up to anything, you may want to just let it go. You know her better than us.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Are your relationships a form of Limerence? Posted: 3/13/2006 2:22:52 PM
I saw a really cool article once on the 3 stages of love and the scientific/biological reasons for them. Limerance is the second stage, or the "in love" phase. The infactuation is driven by norepinephrine or dopamine or some such chemical, I can't remember. Sometimes it leads to "true" love ... sometimes not. It can be a wonderful feeling though. I'm 35 and it's happened twice to me so far.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

is there only one person for us?? Posted: 3/7/2006 1:34:57 PM
My girlfriend once told me she believed there were 5000 soulmates for any given person, and that she thought I just might be one of them. I've recently fallen in love, and looking back on the last few months it's occured to me I was trying to use love as some sort of salvation. It's human nature to desire meaning and purpose and absolutes in life, particularly considering how we are inundated by doubt and vagueness. The idea of there being a single soulmate is beautiful and poetic in it's clarity and completeness. Maybe there is a single soulmate for each of us at any given time. Perhaps it is fate that brings us together. Along the same lines, is there a God ? An afterlife ? Does it really matter what the "truth" is anyway ? From a practical standpoint the answer is no. The only thing that matters is what you believe. It is your believes that shape your daily life.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 180 (view)

How many of you would read your lovers private e-mail ? Posted: 3/3/2006 1:55:00 PM
Why is everyone on these forums so absolutist and idealistic ? No wonder the divorce rate is so high. Either that or I guess all of you must have perfect relationships ? Everyone has lied. Everyone has misled. Everyone doubts. Everyone is insecure sometimes. Everyone has snooped. Everyone makes mistakes. I don't break up with someone I love over a MISTAKE, because I know I'm not perfect either. The important thing is what they are like as a person. We all f*ck up and go against our nature sometimes, but do you believe they are fundamentally a good person inside ? If so, forgive and forget. I won't break up till I see a regular pattern. I guess I just believe in redemption. I believe people can learn and change. Maybe I'm just a sucker.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

What's the real meaning of cheating? Posted: 3/3/2006 1:06:54 PM
I like the definition of "anything you wouldn't do in front of your SO". But is that entirely realistic ? How about flirting ? People will sometimes flirt with others, but they wouldn't in front of their SO. So, is flirting not okay then ? But there is no doubt about it, vagueness about stuff like this is what causes lots of trouble. For example, my girlfriend decided sending pics of herself to a guy online was fine, though she no doubt wouldn't have done it if I was there. How about getting a massage from a member of the opposite sex. What if they were a friend who is taking massage classes ? What if they said any true massage should be done in the nude ? How about just a foot massage ? And I don't see how we can possibly consider having coffee with someone cheating. Are we not supposed to have any interaction with the opposite sex ? Also ... how can you be totally confident of what your SO will think about something ? Should you call them up and ask ?

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Age Vs Wisdom Posted: 3/3/2006 12:42:11 PM
I don't completely believe in the linear progression of age and wisdom. In some ways I was much wiser in my twenties than I am now in my thirties.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 174 (view)

How many of you would read your lovers private e-mail ? Posted: 3/3/2006 12:35:52 PM
I agree to a certain degree jackyfrost01. When people are caught in lies, it just makes it that much harder for people to take that leap of faith and learn to trust them again. When people are caught snooping, the instinctual thing is to just be sneakier. But, considering that virtually everyone WILL lie and snoop at least at one point in their life, to one degree or another, what can a couple do about it ? Like I said, these things are human nature, and no one is perfect. It's also unrealistic to expect relationships to be completely perfect. People screw up. When lying or snooping occurs, a couple really has two choices. They can either perpetuate the cycle and create an atmosphere of distrust, or they can admit they are imperfect human beings, forgive each other, and agree to turn over to a new page. They need to take that leap of faith again ... That many couples cannot do this is one reason many relationships do not work out.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 172 (view)

How many of you would read your lovers private e-mail ? Posted: 3/3/2006 12:19:09 PM
@cutenperky Depending on the situation, some people can become really close after just a couple of months and make serious committments to each other. When such committments are made, it is only human nature to doubt there veracity and authenticity a little bit. People WANT to believe and trust, but find themselves unable to completely trust because of past experiences or whatever. At the same time, these doubts cause them to emotionally distance themselves from the other person, and they don't want that either. So often times people snoop to get independent verification of the others feelings. Just like some people can believe in Jesus (or Mohammed, Buddha, etc ...) in the face of no universally convincing evidence, others always have a little doubt in their hearts. Sometimes the snoops get their verification, and of course often times they do not. Just like it's human nature to snoop, it's human nature to lie. People are particularly prone to lie if they think it's something that will affect their relationship. Everyone here is so quick to condemn, but let's face it ... Statistics and history have taught us, LOTS of relationships end up in flames. Lies, deceit, snooping ... these things are not going away. In fact these things are extremely common. Relationships are risky business. People will lie. People will snoop. How many people can truly say they have never done either of these ? I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. -Pietro Aretino A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. -Robert Quillen

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

To Fk or not to Fk Posted: 3/1/2006 7:43:09 AM
@blacktiger19 Well, don't feel bad about things. You are incredibly sexy, and it sounds like you are spunky as hell in bed. Peoples libidos often decline for many reasons. Also, it's totally natural for the intensity and the passion to wear off in a relationship after a few months. Personally, I think it is a bit disrespectful of him to masturbate right in front of you when he knows you want sex. I would either have sex with you or not, but I wouldn't masturbate in front of you. Of course, I may wait till the next day when you are out of the house.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

To Fk or not to Fk Posted: 2/28/2006 2:52:54 PM
Could be he is upset with you. Or he may simply be bored. Some people get sexually bored with others really quick. It's certainly not your fault if this is the case. Or he may simply not be up for all the shennanigans of sex, and having to deal with another person. All the emotions and crap that involves. Sex can be quite a drain on ones energy, and then there is all the expectations, the need to satisfy someone else, etc ... Sometimes it's just easier to simply jerk off. p.s. One thing all you guys forget is that when you are in a relationship with a "hot chick", sometimes you just get bored with it ... no matter how hot she is. It's like beer. Guiness is great, but if you drink Guiness every night you would be amazed at how nice the occational Budweiser can be. :) Of course, you guys are just saying the right thing ... so as not to screw up your chances on this site. I respect that. I'll tell it like it is because I don't care anymore.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Who here has never had an intimate relationship? Posted: 2/28/2006 9:03:37 AM
@PoopYNuts I know exactly what you are talking about. Some people are just not interested in relationships like that. These people are more comfortable keeping things on a somewhat superficial level. I have a tendency to open up too quickly. I have some interesting stories in my life, and this sort of unresolved Catholic guilt and thirt for intimacy that makes me want to trust people and just spill my beans to them. Also, I frankly don't really have any interest in casual and shallow relationships. Sometimes this "opening up" and being completely honest and genuine freaks people out a bit though. Lot's of people are just naturally guarded and skeptical about everything. Neither type of relationship is really "better" than the other. The problems start when one person is one way, and the other another way. Or when someone claims to be open and genuine, but they really are being guarded and secretive. @kelleyisnice You're probably the sexiest girl I've ever seen on these forums. I think I'm in love with you.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Trust, and when it disappears Posted: 2/27/2006 10:10:36 PM
@frrosty Yeah, you wouldn't believe the insane lengths I went to simply to get her to tell me the truth. After all, I care about her deeply and knew how damaging this would be. I was practically begging her to tell me the truth. I even gave her a way out. I told her the truth, as corroborated by the hard cold evidence that I have (that she does NOT realize I have), and literally provided her with a ready made explaination why that truth would not necessarily be so bad, and yet she still continued with the deceit. Then I told her she could just "come clean", and she even went so far as to say "she promised". When I asked her if she "was sure" she actually had the nerve to get irrate and pissy with me, and yell at me for not trusting her. The whole time I was thinking just how painful it was going to be to confront her with the evidence, after she had dug her hole so deep. It was literally painful for me to endure, knowing how bad things were getting. I felt my heart sink. I wouldn't even bother confronting her, but I don't think it is unrealistic to think I can avoid it. She isn't all bad by any means, and deserves an explaination. Hopefully she will learn something from all this.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Trust, and when it disappears Posted: 2/27/2006 7:59:54 PM
@dickboston I really liked your comment. It was very nice. I don't know if I will give this a second chance or not, but your comment was appreciated. I'm just bummed. I thought I had created an atomosphere of forgiveness and understanding, so telling the truth would be easy. I guess not.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 2:57:11 PM
Yeah, she did go into survival mode. But not because I was unreasonable, or being angry or confrontational really. She just did it to cover her own ass. I told her it was no big deal, that I would just appreciate her being honest about it. She thought about it, got scared because she knows if it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me, and she decided to take the easy way out and just lie. Simple as that. She knows I'm flexible about the terms of the relationship. She just doesn't want to be upfront. She was afraid it would change the way I feel about her. So she lied, thinking she could get away with it.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Trust, and when it disappears Posted: 2/27/2006 2:47:06 PM
Has anyone ever caught there SO in a blatant lie ? Not a "white" lie, such as "yes I like your dress", or "no you don't need to loose weight", but a blatant and "selfish" lie. A lie that serves no purpose other than to cover their own ass ... to keep them out of the dog house. Even worse, given repeated offers of amnesty, assurances that the truth wouldn't be that bad, and encouragement to "come clean", they still steadfastly and stubbornly stick to their idiotic lie. The thing that is so frustrating is the truth really wasn't that bad. Not at all. Why can't they just tell the truth and deal with the consequences ? I mean, don't get me wrong, I can understand the appeal of lying and not having to deal with the consequences ... but then there is the issue of good judgement. If you will lie about a very small wrong doing, something that is relatively silly, then I guess it goes without saying you will lie about anything that is more serious. Why risk it for something so trivial ? Is it possible to ever trust someone after something like this ? If they will adamantly lie about something relatively trivial, something that is by no means a deal breaker, then how can you expect them to tell the truth about something more serious ? For some reason I have been unlucky enough to attract several liars in the past. I think it is a sympton of immaturity and age. Does anyone think it is truly possible to turn over a new leaf ? To rebuild trust ? If I confront them with this, and show them my "proof", I'm sure that is going to be their suggestion and their promise. I just don't know though ...

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 2:39:34 PM
I'm not assuming. I have evidence enough to convict her in a court of law on this one. The judgement passed down by the jury would be unanimous ... no doubt about it. Oh jeez ... trust is such a fickle thing, and perhaps the most important thing holding a relationship together. Why couldn't she just come clean ? If she had, it would have been no big deal.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 2:14:44 PM
Sending pics of your feet to some guy on IM is not that huge a deal. Now I have a trust issue. I know for a fact she has told me a blatant lie in regards to this. I can put up with almost anything, but once trust goes flying out the window things start to just look like shit.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 1:58:54 PM
Wow, I just tried to have a nice, reasonable conversation with her about this ... and she nearly flipped out. She became very defensive. Even worse ... she told me a boldface lie. ugh ! I'd much rather have a flirty, kinky, honest girlfriend over a flirty, kinky, dishonest one ! Damn. I won't ever be able to completely trust this one now. I feel like I'm entering into that "just enjoy the sex" phase of the relationship.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 11:47:53 AM
She used to have cybersex with him, before she started dating me. But I wasn't born yesterday. I think sending photos of your feet to a foot fetishist is a sign that they are flirting and that there is some sexual tension and play going on. She also sent a couple of pics of herself in her hot Halloween costume. Perhaps it's not full blown cybersex, but maybe it is ? Sometimes "play" is more telling than cybersex anyway. I don't know. I wonder if she is going to be this way in real life too ? Is it wrong to interpret too much flirting as a sign someone is not so serious ? Could be a self-esteem thing too. And what exactly is "too much" flirting ? I'm starting to think sending pics is "too much", but I wonder if I'm just being too conservative ?

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 10:55:15 AM
I'm not good at making boundaries or controlling. I usually just let what happens happen, and adjust the emotional distance between me and the other person some. Self-defense I guess. I think I'm just going to ask her not to have cybersex with this guy and no foot photos. I don't think that is being overly traditional or unreasonable. Oddly, it's not the idea of him seeing some photos that bothers me ... it's the fact my gf would WANT to send them. Of course I can't control her desires. I just wander if this means she is not as serious as she leads me to believe ? Or simply that she is kinky and bored ? Geez ... she could send me some photos and have cybersex with me if she is feeling that kinky.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 10:08:34 AM
@jesiebunnies Yeah, I think you are right ... it probably does bother me more than I am letting on. She is very open, honest, realistic, and kinky ... and anti-romantic. I do believe she loves me very much ... of that I have no doubt. She just doesn't follow the normal "rules", and I think I've slowely gotten desensitized and "trained". That's why it doesn't bother me more. I sort of expect this kind of stuff from her. Anyway ... I don't feel directly threatened. It's more like this guy is a sort of a "backup" for her or something. If we start fighting, or things take a turn for the worse, I've no doubt she would start chatting with this guy more, and possibly hook up with him if things got that bad. It's kind of like he is a threat hanging over my head or something. I think it's worse than her just having a guy friend, because of the obvious sexual tension and the fact she thought about dating him at one point. She has also confessed to having had many sexy chat sessions with him before she started dating me. She told me she doesn't chat with him like that anymore.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 8:52:32 AM
Yeah, I talked with my friend and he thinks this is disrespectful behavior. My intuition told me that perhaps I should feel more jealous than I do. That's sort of unusual for me. I think you are right though, in a "normal" relationship this would be sort of weird. Something about it just doesn't feel right. As for why she is doing it, I think I understand that ... She doesn't have a job right now nor go to school. Also, she is sort of kinky and flirty and has sex on the brain a lot ... kind of like me. So, I think it is boredom more than anything else. She has virtually no "real life" friends other than me, only internet friends. She suffers from depression as well. This is her way of sucking up the hours in the day and having some human contact. -------- I don't think jealousy is necessarily a bad emotion. It's just bad when you try and control people. Control is different from setting boundaries by the way. Boundaries are something you set, then you recognize it is out of your hands. Crossing boundaries have consequences of course. Control is trying to force people to stay in your boundaries. Is this a boundary I should set ? Don't send photos of yourself to some guy you chat with online ? There is obviously a little sexual tension to their chats, but it is just online. I don't know, what do you think ? He lives about an hour away from her.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Online relationship ... should I be jealous ? Posted: 2/27/2006 8:27:38 AM
My girlfriend and I got in a fight a couple of weeks ago, and she re-contacted this online friend of hers that she knows from the same dating site she met me at. It wasn't a bad fight, and I think she just contacted him out of boredom because I wasn't chatting with her as much. She doesn't work or go to school right now. Anyway, yesterday afternoon she asked me to paint her nails. I'm a bit of a foot fetishest so this wasn't unusual, but later on it came out that this online friend of hers wants some foot photos. Don't ask me how I know this, I just do. She already sent him some photos of her dressed up in her sexy Halloween costume. It occured to me ... she wanted me to paint her nails so she could rush home and take photos of her feet to send this guy. I'm sure she stays up late chatting with this guy as well. It's obvious she likes him. Apparently she went out with me instead of him because I'm skinny and he is stocky. Now ... I'm about 99% positive this guy poses no threat to me whatsoever ... for reasons I won't go into here, but also because I'm convinced she loves me very much. I think she is just bored and enjoys flirting and likes the affirmation that her feet are cute. Also, she is a little on the kinky side. Is this just innocent online flirting ? Or is this something I should be jealous about ?

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

CAT: Coital Alignment Technique Posted: 2/27/2006 8:12:10 AM
Where did I say it was new ? :) It's new to me, and I just thought it might be new to some other pof'ers. Good news is ... she liked it a lot.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

CAT: Coital Alignment Technique Posted: 2/24/2006 1:05:03 PM
Couldn't find a single hit on this via search, so I thought I would pass this along: http://www.myprimetime.com/health/sex_love/content/worlds_greatest_position/index.shtml http://www.womenshealth.org/a/coital_align_technique.htm I'm going to try and talk my girlfriend into trying this with me tonight. Cheers.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Recent study results off Reuters..... Posted: 2/24/2006 8:44:10 AM
Yeah, I think women just feel like it's too shallow to admit that it's looks that first attract them, so they make up sh*t on surveys like that. They WANT to believe it's something else, and they feel bad about themselves for being so shallow. Guys are more okay with being shallow.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love, in 1 week? Posted: 2/24/2006 8:27:43 AM
The thing about love is there is no litmus test for it. It is different things to different people. We each have our own ideas about it. No persons interpretation is any more valid than anyone elses. I believe love is like a leap of faith. I place no limits on love. I CHOOSE to believe there is still a little magic left in the world. We ARE what we THINK. Think LOVE. Take the leap.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love, in 1 week? Posted: 2/23/2006 9:31:57 AM
oh music4u, you're breaking my heart. I'd give anything for a girlfriend as romantic as you.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Is it possible to fall in love, in 1 week? Posted: 2/23/2006 9:04:01 AM
I think there are 2 types or stages of love. The first is that all-consumming obsessive "in love" feeling. The second is what most people call "true" love, and comes much later, perhaps only after years even. That first phase can be quite lovely, and some people like it better than the second. That's why many people break up after a few months, when that first stage starts wearing off. Scientists did brain scans of people in that first stage, and there brains were similiar to those suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder. Lust probably has something to do with it, but is not the only factor. Personality definitely plays a huge part, otherwise you would just fall in love with every really hot person you met that showed any interest in you. I definitely think it is possible to fall into that crazy obsessive love phase in a week. I did in just a day. Sometimes the "in love" slides smoothly into "real" love. That's nice when that happens.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

Capri pants Posted: 2/22/2006 8:20:10 AM
@lalby I love my girlfriends thick thighs. yum.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

orgasm intensity: guys vs. girls Posted: 2/21/2006 3:03:53 PM
You know ... I wonder. There may be some truth to that. Not to mention, my first girlfriend and I always had to be quiet while having sex, because her parents or mine were often in the next room. :) I think I'll try moaning and screaming a bit next time.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

My girlfriends mental health issues Posted: 2/21/2006 2:59:53 PM
That was just because I screwed up and posted under the wrong name. It wouldn't let me delete the whole thing, so I had to put something down. Probably not bad advice either. :)

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 52 (view)

My girlfriends mental health issues Posted: 2/21/2006 2:52:44 PM
Yes. Sorry about that. I ask advice about one girlfriend under one pseudonym, and advice about the other under a different one. Just kidding. No. Seriously, I have several identities on pof. I don't like people to get to know me really. I'd prefer to have people state their opinion untainted by anything I've said on other threads. Hell, I've even been known to contradict myself.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Capri pants Posted: 2/21/2006 2:30:13 PM
I think capri pants can look pretty sexy ! I don't like this trend for girls to be wearing long shorts though (almost to the knees). I just know this is some sort of lesbian fashion conspiracy. So girls, listen up .... the shorter the shorts, the better !

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

orgasm intensity: guys vs. girls Posted: 2/21/2006 2:16:08 PM
My girlfriend told me she used to pass out from orgasms. I started having the most amazing orgasms when I started using a****ring. I would come really close to orgasm, then back off. I would do this many times. When I finally did climax it was incredible. I could feel waves of tingles throbbing up my body and through my head. It would actually make my head twitch.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

My girlfriends mental health issues Posted: 2/21/2006 2:08:21 PM
@second_life I just thought your advice was rather hasty. Also, I'm not sure it's even sound advice. Essentially what you are saying is that people with mental health issues cannot enter into serious relationships with other people. I think this is overstating the problem. I agree there is potential for disaster ... statistics show this to be the case ... but I don't think it's totally hopeless. Look, it's so rare anyone even falls in love these days ... it's going to take more than a panic attack once every 4 or 5 months to make me turn my back on love. At the same time I don't want to slip into a codependent role, so I'm just naturally a little worried. I think anybody would be. Now that I understand this a little better, I know how to better deal with it. I've seen the symptoms and the signs, and so know when to just call it quits and bring things up at a later date. Knowing is half the battle.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 95 (view)

men are from mars...... Posted: 2/17/2006 2:34:31 PM
I dated a girl once that did wonderfully romantic things for me all the time. At the time I was stupid enough to think that was normal ! My current girlfriend has killed whatever romance I once felt. Her constant comments about other men and women (good God ... if I have to hear her go on about one more damn male figure skater .... ), talking about exes, telling me I was her third best lay, etc ... has brought me down to earth and killed my romantic inclinations. I think part of it is generational. The young people in each generation just keep getting more and more pragmatic and cynical. Honestly, I just don't think romance is very prevalent these days among those under 25.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

My girlfriends mental health issues Posted: 2/16/2006 12:18:30 PM
watch out.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Do men and women have different romantic needs in relationships? Posted: 2/16/2006 11:03:33 AM
@Muffy I think what you say makes sense on some level. I think romance does involve wanting to know the other person "wants you", and I think the "want to" we are referring to is on the emotional/soul-mate level, as you point out. Yet, I think romance involves more than just wanting to know the other person wants you ... it involves a committment to a set of beliefs that include: The belief that two people can be greater than one. The idea that there is someone out there that can help you achieve a more fullfilling life and a greater happiness. The idea that the person that can do these things isn't just anyone, and hence it is very special thing when you find them. Romance is a way of saying you believe in these things, or that you are willing to try and see if they could be true anyway. As such, romance in almost a leap of faith. It is fundamentally idealistic, sort of the willing suspension of disbelief. I think "falling in love" and romance are probably very similiar to "finding Jesus". It's an experience that is fundamentally irrational, but we are drawn to it anyway. We are surrounded by cynicism and doubt everywhere. It is really hard to find anything to belief in these days, yet I think human beings have this innate thirst to feel like there is something greater. Falling in love, and it's pornographic equivalent romance, can fullfill this need if the people involved let it. Look, I don't believe in God, Jesus, Santa Claus, or the afterlife, and the last damn myth I have is Love. I may be a sucker but that's okay by me. I like living in denial.

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 38 (view)

Do men and women have different romantic needs in relationships? Posted: 2/16/2006 7:59:28 AM
I've been described as a conservative yang, and my girlfriend as a strong yin. I am romantic to the point of being almost ludicrious, particularly if I am in love. We are total flips of the stereotype in so many ways. I buy her chocolates, give her baths in my claw foot tub like she is Cleopatra, give her all over body massages, and then perform cunnilingus on her for 20 or 30 mintutes till she has 5 orgasms. In short I worship her as a diva. It is extremely unhealthy. I am so ridiculously romantic that when I first started dating her I actually refused to read anything about sex. The thought of anyone else on the planet actually doing it somehow diminished it's power and magic for me. I wanted it to be like we were discovering it for the first time. I never look at other girls (out of respect) and never talk about my exes (out of just common sense). I couldn't even fantasize about anyone else while I was masturbating because it didn't feel right, and I wanted all my lust and sexual energy to be focused on her like a laser beam. This is just the way I am when I first fall in love. She on the other hand makes flippant comments about other guys and girls and how hot they are, talks incessantly about her exes, and just seems much more grounded and realistic about sex and romance. To her it is just a thing people do, like eating, breathing, or taking a shit. This is not to say she doesn't love me. In fact, I think she loves me as much as I love her. It's just she has this practicality bordering on cynicism. She is sort of a "cool" and "tough" girl, afraid to show her true feelings, and is guilty of putting on a show of nonchalance. She told me once I was her best friend, and she likes being able to talk to me about stuff. I am just more traditional when it comes to romance. I like a little magic when I'm first falling in love. Now that we understand each other better, and realize it doesn't have anything to do with our feelings, things are working out great. We just have different attitudes about romance. Oddly, as I've come down to earth, she seems to be floating up a bit. I guess she is starting to miss those baths ! You may be interested in reading this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81566/?highlight=romantic

louispointe

Joined: 8/9/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Boy Recieves Bronze Medal in Sex, Now Looses Spark Posted: 2/15/2006 2:26:49 PM
Well, I finally feel like I'm over this. Valentines night was awesome. I am still in love, if not "crazy" in love. Who knows, maybe that will come back too. So, I'm going to try and patch my ego up and move on. Thanks for all the comments everyone. All the wide variety of advice is truly something. I think it would be really wrong to trivialize something like this. It really hurt. At the same time, every relationship needs a dose of reality every now and then, and I think true love deserves resilience. It certainly doesn't happen often. Lastly, call me a dip, but I think I can finally summarize why all of this hurt so much: The magical spark that is falling "in love" seems to be the result of a complicated interraction of romance, sex, feelings, and attraction. It is a complex formula, and the way it all interrelates is unknown to me, but it seems like diminishing the power of any one of these ingredients diminishes the power of the others, and lessens the spark. Talking about past sexual escapades and being compared to previous lovers lessens the magical and spiritual aspects of sex for me. It makes sex feel less unique and special, and more mundane and ordinary. By so doing it tampers with the delicate balance that creates that wonderful, crazy "in love" feeling. So, in short, if you are really in love with someone, just lie to them and tell them they are #1. You will feel better, and so will they. Besides, in my heart, my baby IS my #1, so it's not really a lie anyway.

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